my chad brother in law invited me into his 16 team chad fantasy

>not typing long stories out on wordpad beforehand
BAN THIS FAG

> being as fantasy football was starting to take over my life
>like every family dinner "how's your fantasy team doing anon?"
> dad actually cared about shit in my life
> and the sheer fact that i wanted to beat these fucking idiots that made fun of me
> i made a fake email and went on to the message boards and pretended to be a filipino stock broker
> named "Moises Santos"
> i had a picture and everything on my message board profile
> when my bil's friend who runs the league asked Moises what makes him a good candidate for the league
> Moises replied
I love trash talking and as a filipino stock broker I'm good with numbers and the future of analytics
> got the invite
> paid the entry fee
> 2 months later
> Moises and I are 15th and 16th in the league respectivley
> everyone is making fun of me still
> my dad joined the league message board (he wasn't even in the league at the time)
> just to fucking trash talk me
> "JESUS you fucking suck son"
> then I execute plan FILIPINO PROSTITUTE
> and I make one massive lobsided trade initiated by Moises to me.
> everyone was pissed off
> "YOU STUPID FUCKING RETARD MOISES WTF DO U EVEN WATCH FOOTBALL?"
> I just started replying with random mathemetical and physics theories theories with different variables substituted with names like -yardage, net gains, and catching concoction theory.
> it was pure madness
> but guess what? some of the league bought my bullshit
> 3 people even asked to read the papers Moises was citing
> so the trade never got vetoed
> i finished 16th in the league
> Moises finished 3rd and almost won the league trophy in the playoffs
> people were calling Moises a fucking genius "elite manager"
> and they were all calling me a fucking retard for falling for Moises' trap
> I was fucking pissed... so the second one of the guys stopped setting his roster I made a stink and the league started looking for a replacement

>>34392875
>Fantasy Football
Otherwise known as "You shall not pass!"

Lurking
have a bump

enter Jimmy T.

> Jimmy is a hot headed chad he types like a complete fucking retard and calls everyone a fag or pussy
> he sounded like half the fucking league
> by this time the start of season 3 I started knowing people and knowing resources to actually be competent at the game
> remember though I'm now managing 3 teams
> i was literally spending over 4 hours a week doing something i hated to try and beat these assholes
> so what I started doing right at week 1 was having jimmy bad mouth all the players on his team that i liked (and drafted because i liked)
> "MAN THIS PEYTON MANNING IS A LITTLE PUSSY. I HATE HIS PUSSY FACE."
> by Week 4 Jimmy traded me Peyton Manning for trash and no one batted an eye
> especially when Moises backed up Jimmy's assessment with a 20 post argument with some chad nerds using fake theories and algorythms to state that Manning was trash
> because everyone thought Moises was some genius no one questioned it
> except one guy
> his name was Tyler and he got absolutely pissed off
> "There's something fucking fishy with this bullshit"
> after Jimmy a .500 team traded me a <.500 team his best WR for a kicker, Tyler fucking lost it
> "there's fucking collusion going on.. wouldn't doubt if anon is sucking this faggot Jimmy's dick"
> cue Jimmy just ripping into this fucking pussy's life
> "YOU FAGGOT ASS BITCH TYLER COME SAY THAT TO MY FACE YOU FAGGOT BITCH. WHAT DO YOU EVEN BENCH YOU FAG ASS CUM CHUGGER,"
> Tyler would eventually quit midseason because of this trade and fight citing "it's just not fun anymore and the leagues full of faggots."

ENTER Chuck Branch

Just a notification that I am reading

> Chuck was Jimmy's best friend
> "but don't worry I'll never collude or trade with that homo."
> Chuck was a die hard Eagles fan since he was born in Philly
> "I love 2 things in life. Smashing pussy and the Philly Eagles."
> I would constantly post youtube clips under Chuck's account of the movie Invincible
> I started having conversations with Chuck and Jimmy on the main message boards
> with them just talking post after post about how great that movie is
> "Oh I fucking love Marky Mark"
> "I almost cried like a homo when he got that chance."
> "fuck I love those jerseys"
> by the trade deadline Chuck traded me his kicker (was the best in the league) and a his defense (10th best in the league) for the backup running back from the Eagles
> "This is a really smart trade..." said Moises, the first comment on the trade
> "GOD YOU LOVE THAT FUCKING FAGGOT." said Jimmy
> posted a picture of some faggot chad I found on twitter of some faggot wearing this backup running backs jersey and pretended that was Chuck
> "Got my boyyyyeee"
> And that's how I made the playoffs.
> I lost out in the 1st round but after my dad told me he was proud of me for what I accomplished
> I was hooked
> my dad has never said that me in my life
> ive won science fairs I've got on honour roll but dad never gave a fuck about anything i've done until fantasy fucking football
> on Christmas Dinner everyone was toasting me
> including the faggot chad brother in law
> saying "To The Tom Baby's"
> thats when I started getting cocky as shit
> "Don't even talk, "BIL", your team didn't even make the playoffs you pussy."
> everyone laughed
> my brother in law was pissed
> I literally thought he was going to beat me up because I caleld him that
> he got up and started yelling at me
> and then my sister had to drive his drunk ass home along with their baby
> that year no one else quit so it was just me and my 3 other teams
> I was spending hours every day reading the message boards

OP you're a dumb nigger if any of this is true. I played fantasy football for the first time this past season and made it to the semifinals in my league.

> stopped caring about things I actually liked
> like I never played a single vidya that entire season of football
> i wasnt even watching the games
> i was just reading resources and managing conversations
> making sure the characters I had created were lifelike and real
> because this ruse cruise would not end until i won
> I was literally having conversations with Moises and my Brother in law that I never had with him in my life
> "How's the kids?! How's Leticia?" My brother in law would ask
> he cared more about some fake faggot filipino stock broker than he cared about me
> but thats when shit started getting fucking spicy
> "She is fine my friend. Open up a new bread shop here in manila. How your wife doing?"
> "Uggggh....lets just say my teams doing better than my marriage lol"
> holy fucking shit
> I didn't even know this
> I always thought things were peachy
> throughout that season I continued funnelling assets from Jimmy, Moises, and Chuck to my team
> Jimmy and Chuck were bottom feeder teams lol
> Moises I actually was trying to do well on him too
> so I was even trading players from Jimmy and Chuck to Moises
> like I spent hours some days figuring out "believable bad" trades that were shit for jimmy and chuck but that would help Moises and me
> by playoffs I was like 4th in the league Moises was 5th and my brother in law 6th
> "What are you doing tonight you watching the Rams game?" Moises asked
> "Nah got a date. My wife and I divorced about 2 months ago so... wish me luck. Go Rams."
> quickly check my sisters facebook status because I never heard shit
> married
> ask mom if everything was good with chad and my sister
> "Yeah why?"
> HOLY SHIT

keep the gold coming OP

>>34393765
Oh shit this is getting soap opera tier

> "Sound fun! Where you taking her? For dinner?"
> my idiot brother in law actually names the bar he's meeting the woman he's going to be cheating on my sister with
> start shaking
> don't know what I'm going to do
> they have 1 kid and 1 on the way
> decide to drive out there to the bar
> not sure what I'm going to do because I can't beat him up
> he's a tank compared to me
> i'd be killed
> so instead I play it cool
> i spot him and this hot blonde talking getting all touchy feely
> I take a video
> not sure what I'm going to do... I could ruin this faggy chad's life
> so what do I do?
> I make a trade proposal with him and ask for Tom Brady for trash and in my comments link the video
> he doesn't say anything
> he just accepts
> I make it to the finals and lost by a last minute touchdown

keep going faggot.

this is a very original post

>not pre-typing this
Ffs OP, the suspense is killing me.

>>34393905
Anyone remember the guy who thought he was having a relationship with a hooker? His was the worst to wait for.

> at family's new years even party
> dad is not doing well
> he's been very sick lately
> but he's up and having fun with the grandkids
> he pulls me aside "I heard you almost won it all. God you're some kind of genius. I always knew you were smart kid."
> he hugs me and tells me to win it all
> brother in law pulls me aside a little later
> "It was just a drink bro, quit being a little girl...not like you never..." he paused and laughed
> at that very moment I turned around and was dead set on ruining his fucking life
> he grabs pulls out his wallet and gives me everything he's got inside
> "Please... it was a mistake."
> I take the money but I tell him if I ever find out he's done anything more he's done.
> he agrees

> at the start of the next season we have 2 openings so my Dad joins and a new guy they picked up from the message boards...

Enter Pierre Ladue

>>34393999
If this doesn't end with a Fresh Prince theme song quote or something similar I'll be very disappointed.

>>34393999
You have peaked my interests, I'll be kinda pissed if it turns out super gay or something though

> Pierre is a stud. He's banging ho's left and right
> everyone thinks hes a player
> when he didnt even make the draft (because I didnt have enough computers/phones) so had to autodraft lol, everyone was like "Pierre's probably smashing"
> all I did was post a picture of this 10/10 from instagram and everyone was like
> "damn I would have traded my 1st pick for a bj from that"
> guess who liked those comments?
> my brother in law
> AND MY DAD
> Pierre was interesting because he had 0 assets I cared for
> so what I did with him was just drop players for Moises and Jimmy to pickup to improve their teams
> I started liking the Jimmy character--he showed growth and when Jimmy and I would enter trade discussions, I felt like he was more caring.
> My dad was god awful at fantasy he was absoute last place for most of the season until he made a masterful trade
> he texts me up "Hah I think I'm getting Pederson..." he was getting all excited
> Pederson is like his favourite football player
> "I don't know dad, Moises might not trade him to you."
> 1 day later I got a text from my dad, like he's some kid
> I GOT HIM! YES he took a pic of himself pumping his fists
> that family dinner on thanksgiving was epic
> Dad was wearing a Pederson jersey and talking the whole time about how he's such a great negotiator
> I was telling him "dad you should be on wall street"
> "funny enough the guy I got Pederson from was a stock broker"
> Dad was doing great especially considering what he would be diagnosed with

>>34394145
> Dad was doing great especially considering what he would be diagnosed with
Oh shit :(

Keep on going. This is amazing

This is impossible story!

>>34394219
I'm guessing it's some hereditary form of autism.

> I still remember the conversations my Dad would have with my dummy characters
> he'd talk about his plans to travel to Asia with Moises
> he'd talk about his early college life with Pierre
> he even told Pierre (me) about how he had a threesome
> shit like that I never about my dad who was some quiet family guy I thought
> he even would express pleasantries and make jokes with Jimmy and Chucky who were becoming the league asses
> a few times I had to catch myself at diners when I almost blurted out inside jokes Dad had with some of these guys
> the sad thing is...
> even though dad would text me and talk about the league like:
> "Great trade with Jimmy. You trade raped him, thatta boy"
> I never saw him much because of the chemo and his fight with cancer
> I almost cried when during his fucking chemo he's sitting in the chair tubes all hooked up to him
> and he's on his ipad looking at the league message board trash talking Chuck because they were in a matchup that week
> Dad and I both made the playoffs but we each lost to real player controlled teams in the 1st round
> "Next year's the year" written by my dad became the most popular thread in the league because everyone knew my dad might not make it
> My sisters marriage started falling apart and about a week before the finals
> and by the next season... Chad...still in the league was actually not my brother in law anymore.

Dad is best girl

>>34394300
Oh shit. So did you know leave the league? or is the journey still going?

OP FINISH IT KEK

>>34394300
Chad isn't being held down by the video anymore!
tread carefully op!

what a story anon
either you just wrote it or you actually lived it you are based but possibly autistic

Damn that's a good story. I don't even care if it's real. Well written.

By this time in the 16 team league it was comprised of 5 of my teams, my ex brother in law, my dad, a few of chad's friends, and some randoms.

> We had to change the date of the draft that year because dad was not doing well
> but when we finally got around to it
> I had the top pick 4 picks, and Dad was 5th
> Adrian Pederson was the undisputed #1 fantasy football choice that year
> but each pick I made, I picked someone else
> "I might actually get Pederson..."
> "Hey is Pederson injured?"
> "Holy shit I got him."
> Dad was over the moon.
> Chad was not, he was in a rough spot, he never even did the draft but he was still in the league
> he started talking less and less on the boards
> but every once in a while he'd just snap at someone
> especially me
> "you're such a whiney bitch, just like your fucking sister."
> My dad told him to stop it and even though he's not married to his daughter anymore he could still be cordial but if that shit kept up he'd beat his ass
> "YOU FUCK HIM BRO" said Jimmy to my Dad
> By Week 5 my dad was basically on his death bed
> about 3 days before he died, we were sitting in his bed me and him
> my sister and mom and some family members outside talking to eachother
> the mood was very dark
> Dad shows me his Ipad
> "Like my roster?"
> "Yeah dad. It looks good."
> it was so hard to think about football but thats all he wanted to do
> "Hey..." he said to me as he grabbed my hand
> "You win it this year. For me."
> He smiled and then hugged me. "It's your year bud."
> like I said 3 days later he died due to complications
> I forgot to set my lineups for all my dummy accounts that week
> so like a quarter of the league was inactive
> eventually I got back into the swing of things when I just couldn't handle crying any more
> I log onto the dummy accounts
> Dad basically said good bye to all the characters I had in the league
> Moises, Pierre, Jimmy, Chuck, even the other real ppl
> I teared up reading them all
> then I logged into mine

ty for story op waiting for moar

jsut got to bottom of page so bumpingg

>>34394531
im bumping the living shit out of this

FUck dude this is deep, Someone screen cap this

Dear Anon,

You think I didn't know you were Moises, Jim, Pierre, Chuck? LOL. What a kid you are. I'm not even mad. I don't know how or why you did it. I figured it out last season when no one would respond to me until after 1pm coincidentally the time you wake up... I also found it strange that you all spelt the word "respectivley" and used it quite often.

I love you son. I love you so much. I love your sister, and your mom, and you take care of them. But more than that I want you to take care of business here. You remember what I said. Win it for me. I'll be rooting for you from heaven.

Love Dad

> that playoff season, Moises, me, and Chad all made the playoffs.

I will finish this next post.

>>34394747

holy shit look how he spelled respectivley at the top of this thread

>>34394747
Fuck Chad and fuck cancer.

the feels

>>34394747
Shut the fuck up. If you knew "anon" you wouldn't call him anon, you'd call him by his actual name.
Give your balls a tug, ya titfucker

>>34394813
no this was the response from his dad from the message board you cuck

he replaced his name with anon

>>34394813
I think you need to reread it

That's anon posting the message his dad left him

You better walk the dino at this point faggot

This is the best r9k thread in months

When is OP posting dammit

OP just taking a shit atm, give him some time

aaaaaaaah it's 4am and I'm not going to bed until OP finishes story

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Jesus OP why didn't you prewrite this on a wordpad, this is gonna end in a ruse isn't it?

WHAT IF OP story isnt finished, its still football season with the super bowl coming up..

>>34394966
WHAT IF
OP is one of chad personalities!???!

>>34394966
Fantasy football season ends in the regular season

This is the best thread on /r9k/.

OP Godspeed. You're loved in a weird way by at least this anon. (No homo)

>>34394985
Op is under mind control his trigger word is respectivley

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>>34394985
oh fugorigi

Do you really expect your delusional and incoherent ramblings to be read? Everyone plonked you long ago. Do you fantasize that your tantrums and conniption fits could possibly be worth the $0.000000001 worth of electricity used to send them? Your life is one big W.O.M.B.A.T. and your future doesn't look promising either. We need to trace your bloodline and terminate all siblings and cousins in order to cleanse humanity of your polluted genes. The good news is that no normal human would ever mate with you, so we won't have to go into the sewers in search of your git.

You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a loathsome disease, a drooling inbred cross-eyed toesucker. You make Quakers shout and strike Pentecostals silent. You have a version 1.0 mind in a version 6.12 world. Your mother had to tie a pork chop
around your neck just to get your dog to play with you. You believe that P.D.Q. Bach is the greatest composer who ever lived. You prefer L. Ron Hubbard to Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle. Hee-Haw is too deep for you. You would watch test patterns all day if the other inmates would let you.

On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. Spammers look down on you. Phone sex operators hang up on you. Telemarketers refuse to be seen in public with you. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. May you choke on your own foolish opinions. You are a Pusillanimous galactophage and you wear your sister's training bra. Don't bother opening the door when you leave - you should be able to slime your way out underneath. I hope that when you get home your mother runs out from under the porch and bites you.

>>34394747
I never knew a story about fantasy football could be this full of intrigue and feels

>>34394747

> I sort of have neglected talking about Chad through this point
> because well I dont care about him
> and I rarely spoke with him
> anytime he proposed a trade to any of the fake accounts I instantly declined
> anytime he he made a trade I'd veto it and argue it
> anytime he brought up how much a bitch of an ex was I used Chucky to just rip into him
> I fucking hated Chad but at the same time
> he brought me closer to my dad than I ever had been
> when we squared off in the semis the trash talking started
> we were literally screaming at eachother over the phone on Wednesday as we were setting out lines
> Chad telling me what a fucking waste of space I was
> I wanted to beat him so fucking bad
> I wanted to win for Dad
> I had to win
> So I did whatever I could to get an advantage I dropped players from Jimmy and Pierre
> I started messaging Chad with Chucky giving him false injury information
> I even sent my sister the video of Chad dating that girl at the bar
> to which he got an earful
> I did whatever I could...
> but it wasn't enough...
> I lost by a field goal and a few rushing yards late on Monday night.
> "nice try faggot guess your dad wasn't rooting for you afterall"
> I cried my face off that night because I failed my dad... I didn't win the league for him...
> I didn't even look at the league for a day
> I thought about killing myself
> for failing Dad... it's all I wanted to do was win it for him...
> I couldn't even bare to check the league for a week
> I didn't care
> I couldnt even win when i cheated.. I was faggot
> but then I looked at the message boards
> "Congrats Moises on the Championship."
> FUCKING MOISES WON HIS MATCHUP in the SEMIS AND I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE BECUASE I WAS SO WRAPPED UP IN THE CHAD MATCHUP
> everyone was messaging Moises
> "Congrats man"
> "Well done you filipino genius."
> even Chad congratulated him "best team won, my team didn't show up."

I won, Dad. :*)

That's it guys. Glad you enjoyed it.

For those curious. I am still in the league otherwise I would share the league domain info so you could read the message boards.

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>>34395037
MOISES YOU FUCKIN LEGEND
FUCK CHAD

Good story OP

>>34394747
I may or may not be bitch crying. Jesus. Even if this is fake, this is great.

>>34395037
WHen are we gonna get a movie about this, someone send the script to the kikes in hollywood

>>34395128
wait

How did Moises get the money for winning? Couldn't it easily be traced to you?

>>34395037
Nice, now that you've done that, you should let Chad know that you played 4 accs for a few years
Great story OP

>>34395037

Was this real?

if so, what are you gonna do next year?

Don't tell me you're gonna keep playing Chad's league.

>>34395136
>tfw this is actually a good idea

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>>34395128
Screencap the message board,erase the names?
Let's see some spicy bants from you and chad bil.

btw how long was this whole ordeal from the 1st post to the last? 4 leagues or so is 4 years?

ty based OP

Great read OP. Extremely clever regardless of whether or not it's real.

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>>34392875
>>34395037
here is the screencap for other anons who want to save this story for a later time

>>34395156

I have more. I took over my Dad's team the season after he died as an example. I roleplay a "young father" who has a son and daughter that he loves.

Thread of the year so far

>>34395232

Thanks. It's one of my better shares. My favourite stories I've shared here are Anon works IT as people know it, and Peter and the Joker.

>>34395266
that's just incredible dude, if that's a true story that's awesome!
I'm glad you got some kind of closure with your dad

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this was a good read my dude
you did your old man proud

10/10


ahiogobererererbvgyue

alright anon, time for you to continue explaining through the point of where you gained control of the 6th and 7th teams

>>34395262
include me please

>>34395400

The 6th team is a young father named Liam Owens who while not very knowledgeable about fantasy football loves his son and daughter very much and tries his hardest.

The 7th team is a Black fellow named Jerome. Everytime he loses he complains. He complains about everything basically. He's even threatened to beat up Chad when he lost to Chad this year.

>>34395457
Sorry for my fellow niggers behaviour

So what do you for a living anon did you're dad inspire you to do anything new

>>34395037
I feel cheated. I was expecting the fresh prince of bel-air or something

>>34395457
OP do you ever see yourself fighting chad or trying to make his life hell?

also could you maybe let us see the message board!

>>34395262
shit screencap but thanks for the effort anon <3

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>>34393352
>Fag Ass Cum Chugger

Sounds like something a closet bromosexual would say.

absolute 10/10 story. I loved it.

>>34395266

When are you going to stop? What's the endgame? You're still playing Chad's league. Isn't it time to quit and actually go try to start a life?

>>34395316
>Anon works IT

Post it.

Also if you're such a good writer, why don't you put together a collection of short stories?

I love short stories. I'd buy it.

eg. Stephen King has done many.

And the nobel prize of literature this year is.... anon

wonderful story brobot

this thread is exactly the reason why I continue to browse /r9k/

most of the time the board is shit, but when it's good, it's better than any other.

>>34395316
Did you really make those? I love anon works IT.

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>>34392875
>>34394145
>>34394531
There's one thing that's REALLY bothering me, and it's
>Pederson
His fucking name is Adrian Peterson, man. (Purple) Jesus, anon.

Your story did make me tear up, though.

>>34395913
Yep, works wonders when people use it for what its point is, original content.

OP should consider writing as a profession

I'm serious.

Well done anon

Strong contender for thread of the year 2bh

>>34396048

Can you post it? wanna read.

>>34396310

Actually what it's really for is venting about being incel (IMO).

I've been here for years and it's kept me sane for that reason.

I'll admit OP's story is better. But very few people have the intelligence, skill, and interest to write things like this.

Most of us just want to complain about being miserable and lonely.