who here /alternative facts/ >mom asks when am i getting a

>>34388550
Kelly anne is so sexy

>>34388550

>tell her im gay

Or alternatively, you're heterosexually challenged. You have a serious disability and the treatment will require time off from school/work.

>mom asks how uni is going
>say fine despite me not understanding shit

>>34388613

>Get straight a's in all my gen ed classes
>Don't even read the textbooks
>Quizzes and midterms and finals all just ask stupid common sense shit
>Only hard part of college is dealing with the stupid thirsty bitches who keep staring at me while accusing me of staring at them and then calling me creepy.
>Bitch I'm looking at the fucking floor. Maybe you should get the fuck out of my god damn personal space and stop breathing down my fucking neck.Your breath smells like someone just took a shit in your mouth and your teeth are all fucked up and your yoga pants and ugg boots look trashy as fuck.

>>34388817

>Bitch I'm not looking at you. I don't want to look at you. I don't want anything to do with you. I'm 27 years old and I'm just here to finally jump through the hoop and get my fucking entry level cube job so I can make some decent cash and not destroy my fucking body. You're a stupid bitch and you sit there and talk shit about every single person who ever catches your attention. Fucking die and make the world a better place already.
>Shit.

>>34388817
lib arts major detected

>t. chemical engineer to be

>>34388931

Modern language. I'm just doing it to learn Spanish, maybe start on Arabic and French later on, and to get the stupid fucking piece of paper. Not learning shit though outside of reading in my own time. The stuff I'm getting in class is just a set of tools I need to learn the language out there independently.

>>34389011
>Arabic coupled with French

sounds about right

>>34388574
Yeah,
>in a "I'm gonna suck your soul out through your dick" kinda way
>In a "My pussy is so old it'll be like fucking sand" kinda way
>In a "I've had so much botox my face is literally paralyzed" kinda way
>In a "Feed me the flesh of the innocent" kinda way

Oh wait, that's not hot at all.

>>34388817
Upper division science classes can be hard. I got c's in both semesters of ochem and physics but my major classes are consistently a's. I was drunk during every exam for ge's and lower division stem classes and got a's no problem.

>>34389066

Yup. The goal is to be able to roll up on my shitbag family in a mercedes benz, have my 3 super hot arab wives step out, slap my asshole dad with a wad of oil and blood soaked hundreds, insult them in 4 different languages, and then drive off.

>>34388550

>Admitting your gay and it's hard to find a bf instead of just saying its hard to find a gf

nigga you might actually be gay

>>34388550
Your mum knows full well you aren't gay, your parents know that kind of shit better than anyone

>>34389585
Not true. Most guys who never have girlfriend's get asked by all sorts of people, including parents, if they're gay.

OP, that's honestly not a bad response though. In situations like this, it can be better for everyone if you just say you're gay. Even gay guys are seen as more normal than guys who women don't like.

>>34389671

so what happens when mom asks why he doesn't have a bf?

Does he still say finding a bf is hard? or does he say "I'm straight" now, what about when he does get a gf, and mom asks what happened to tfw no bf

Thinking is critical lmao

>>34389107
>>in a "I'm gonna suck your soul out through your dick" kinda way
That one is actually pretty hot

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15KB, 480x243px

>>34388550
>mom asks when am i getting a gf
Why do mothers fucking do this shit?

My mom does the same thing and it's so annoying that she has to constantly focus on what I don't have. Also getting a gf isn't something I have real control over.

>>34389709
He just says that he's gay but he doesn't want a partner at all. He can just say he's morally (religiously) against homosexual acts, but is in fact a fag.

>>34389671
It's usually in a joking tounge in cheek way

Ask any parent of a gay person if they knew their child was gay prior to them coming out and I guarntee the vast majority of time the parents will have been aware

>>34388550
didn't even vote for drumpf but this is subtle CTR

>>34389779
Shit, I was asked by my mom if I was gay when I was about 17 while practicing driving. I just said no and she said it would be ok if I was.

Really, I just never even tried to talk to girls because I was basically a hermit who just played WoW all day after school.

>>34389709
>what about when he does get a gf
lol good joke anon, ill never get a girlfriend. i dont even want one anymore

>>34389851
>pro trump topic is subtle ctr

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59KB, 553x571px

>>34389864
A crush I had back when I was 14 asked if I was gay. I think from then on I was destined for the lonely life.

>>34389671
Can confirm. Dad gave like 5 or 6 talks about how it was okay "if I was different" and they would "love me anyway" and whatnot during my teens.

Lots of people were surprised when I got a gf at 20s

Just dont give a fuck OP. You don't need to explain yourself to nobody

>mom asks when am i getting a gf
>say I already have multiple gf (I don't)
>calls me a liar
>double down show her some pics I saved from /soc/ 'these are some of the girls I cyber sex with mom'
>rolls her eyes and walks away
I WIN AGAIN MOM