I moved to my own apartment a while ago. How to buy toilet paper

>>34384552
>How to buy toilet paper without getting laughet at?

what are you fucking retarded? Just go to walmart and buy it what is wrong with you

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Buy it together with a whole week's worth of food just to really remind the cashier:

>"hey, i'm going to eat all this food and turn it into poop then i'm gonna wipe my dirty butthole with this paper i'm handing you here you have to touch it hahaha!"

>>34384599

It's a meme/r9k tradition

Are you joking OP?

Absolutely nobody is going to care that you're buying toilet paper

>>34384552
Buy it with other things, but HOUSEHOLD SUPPLIES ONLY. It'll look weird if you have tendies, cheerioes and toilet paper in the same shopping run

>>34384633
>>34384599
Normies ruined this board

>>34384552

Buy baby wipes, say they are for your son. Just dont throw them in the toilet, it will clog it up

Amazon senpai

Buy it with Halloween decorations they'll think you just want to make a mummy

>>34384552
Steal it u pussi

>>34384552
>2017
>not having a bidet
LMAOing at your life, plebeian.

>>34384663
Fuck off you faggot, you're a retard

t. Not normie

Buy condoms with it so the cashier knows you are a cool guy who has sex with his penis.

get a toilet that cleans your ass for you

>taking a shit
>realize there's no toilet paper
>nothing else in the house to wipe with
>zip up and make a trip to the store
>get to the toiletries section
>unsure of what's the right amount to buy so nervously grab a random pack
>drop it down in front of cashier
>'woah-ho, partner! you gonna use all of *that* yourself?'
>'uh... well, no. I live with a lot of people. busy toilet heh', I lie
>'haha, oh I'm sure. just joshin' bud. take care'
>winks as he hands me the receipt.
>I pick up the pack with both arms and begin carrying it out of the store
>cant see very well past the toilet paper but can swear I hear faint whispering and snickering as I pass
>my shitty ass is really starting to bother me so I decide to stop by one of the bathrooms and wipe real quick.
>accidentally bump into somebody leaving. they seem pissed at first but probably assume I'm a custodian or something.
>squeeze my way into one of the stalls with some difficulty. have trouble finding a good placement for the toilet paper while still having enough room to stand and wipe. eventually settle on keeping it propped up against the wall while I stand over the toilet, the handle digging into my back slightly
>tear open the pack and do my business
>feel much better and resume my journey back home
>upon exiting the bathroom to the hustle and bustle and beeping of the check-outs, I start feeling things hit my foot
>turns out I picked it up wrong and the toilet paper is falling out and rolling everywhere
>people are staring at me
>I set down the pack and yell that I'm going to get help
>leave and go back home with no toilet paper

It's not worth it, OP.