Pizza guy coming in 30 minutes. I have no weed and am desperate

>>34302918
Suck his dick bruv or kys

Accept that the chance that the pizza guy has weed on him is <0.0000001% and find an actual dealer, you spaz.

>>34302918
Yo, you know where I can get some bud?

when he shows up, evaluate whether he seems like a man who knows where the weed is at.

sometimes you get like a sad divorced 50 year old man who probably doesn't.

if he seems like he would know where the weed is at, just say something like

"hey dude, you seem like you might know the answer to this. i'm dry and i need to pick up some weed. do you know anybody who could sell to me tonight?"

the worst they could say is "no sorry"

also this is a really autistic way of buying weed

craigslist my nigga

go to for sale, type 420, start texting numbers

did this multiple times in different cities and never had a problem, and I'm a 5'4 skinny white kid

OP here. My only dealer is through my girlfriend. The pizza place through which I order seems full of stoners.

My strategy was something like this:

He says: How are you?

"I'm upset. I read a terrible statistic today. Some source says that 45% of people in the pizza delivery industry, your industry, also sell [whisper]*weed.* Isn't that terrible? I tell you, I'd really like to meet one of those people, actually meet with them and have a conversation." How autistic is that? It's obvious from my appearance and demeanor that I don't have a problem with the, aheam, ganjastic arts.

>>34303071

very autistic son

go with this, I've done it before 2

>>34302990

>>34303071
Also, I have actual charisma and don't fuck up delivery. I overplan things but I genuinely know how to be funny, so I think I could get through it as a joke. Worst case scenario some stoner pizza dude knows I want to buy but doesn't have anything to sell.

>inb4 the pizza guy is an old man with 2ft long legs

This happened to me last time, don't know why it can't happen to you.

>>34303071
Holy shit you have severe autism or you are just shitposting

if you want to take this chance just give him a more than decent tip. you're not gonna get snitched on in any case. probably

another autistic method would be squatting outside a gas station or convenience store and asking a youth walking out with DUTCH ROLLING CIGARS or something like CIGARILLOS for a light and going from there

or try the dark web. small time noobs like you aren't worth the time and effort to lock up on there.

or make friends with someone at your job? do you have a job op

>>34303071
7/10 autim plz don't try this. Just ask if he knows where you could find some weed. Maybe tell him theres a $5-10 tip for him if he can.

>>34303185
I've been giving these dudes 30% tips for the last for years. How the fuck do I break the ice?

I move to a legal weed state in a month but I'd love to have something to play around with on the weekend. I'd use craigslist but I don't want to go to jail or have to suck an old man's dick for ditch weed.

Goddammit you fucking autstic retards. Pizza guy came, I gave him a big fucking tip and didn't get shit for it. Spic just dropped off my pizza and pulled away.

Now I have to eat pizza drunk without any fucking weed because you goddamn aspies couldn't get me a single gram of weed. I hope you're proud of yourselves you fucking faggots.

>>34303266

the guy i just picked up from tonight but don't too often because he doesn't do any deals beyond an eighth, i got in touch with through my friend i just met smoking cigs around a fairly nice apartment complex

if you really have no one from a shit job or from your past to hit up then craigslist does seem to be your best bet besides the 7/11 method i described

if the pizza guy seems young and relaxed just ask, what ice is there. "hey sorry, but do you smoke?" as he starts to turn away. bam

File: DankPizza.jpg (96KB, 1024x766px) Image search: [Google]

96KB, 1024x766px

If a single one of you faggots has parents who aren't divorced, I will eat every single goddamn hat in my home. It's at least a half-dozen, most a thick wool. Fight me 1v1 you pussy faggots.

timestamp that shit bro, then cum on it and eat it

>>34303416
>"hey sorry, but do you smoke?" as he starts to turn away. bam


This is the best way to approach it, generally.

I was decent at cold approaching people sitting on smoke breaks at a place I worked, although these people were basically "strangers". This was generally the best approach.
Usually plays out:
Do you smoke?
They answer, yes, no, or "smoke what?" Last one is dead giveaway. First one you can follow up with smoke what or "not cigs" to be sure, but you can usually "spot" them and don't have to preface. Follow up with a request for a phone number/contact/hookup.

Whenever I would deliver to rich white people they would always fall for the "pizza guy sells weed" meme and would always mention how they wished they could get some of the "green stuff" *wink wink*. I'd just kind of laugh and say me too. Normally, people would be the ones offering to get me high, not the other way around. It always kind of caught me off guard when they expected I'd be selling it. It was always great to see their reactions when I'd actually take a hit or shot with them. It would melt my heart to see how excited they would get.

>>34303744
ur not just a pizza boy, ur a temporary guest

>>34303744
yeah but you had weed tho right?

>>34303971
I'd rarely have it. I'm not much of a weed smoker. None that I'd be willing to sell.

>>34302918

When I was in college, I know if you ordered a "#420" from a local sub place, you'd get a bag of weed in a sub bun.

Maybe your pizza place has a similar setup?

>>34304033
I'd like to not leave that kind of trail. I wish all the weed-sellers would just wear a star on their arm or something so I wouldn't have to embarrass myself trying to buy from strangers.

Drugs are for normies who can't get by on their own intelligence. It's pathetic that you would need an artificial aid to enjoy homecooked meals and vidja.

>>34303446
My parents are married, currently living in their house

>>34302952
it's like a 80% chance the pizza guy knows a dealer

>>34303768
Yes he's our friend anon

Half of my friends delivered pizzas in highschool/college and coincidentally they all sold weed or could easily get it for you.

>>34304516
You're a faggot and everyone at school hates you

>>34304623
Only reason a pizza man (or really anybody) won't set you up with his weed dealer is because he's afraid you're a narc. There's literally no other reason.

Pizza delivery men sell weed. It's part of the job description, same as the $2 delivery fee that doesn't count as a tip.

Don't be a fagoot. Ask him straight up, "do you sell weed?"

It's not illegal to ask for weed. Worst he can say is no.

Don't take the risk. Take your pizza and shut up. A momentary buzz isn't worth 20 years in jail.

>tfw no pizza guy dick to succ

>>34305054
>Worst he can say is no.

It can be way worse than that.

>>34305883
Dude, what can happen? "A customer tried to buy drugs from me!" No I didn't you're fired.

>>34303071
>My only dealer is through my girlfriend.


Well there's your problem right there.

>>34304719
I would never discuss anything weed related with someone I haven't smoked with before