>Go to get haircut >Haircut person asks what I want >"Oh

>how do you want it cut
>"shorter" and sheepish grin
>haircutter just waits, silently, until i quietly mumble "long on top short on sides"

>>34300835
Just show them a picture you fucking apes

>>34300835
>"Oh y'know, a bit of a haircut"
This means nothing. This is like going to a restaurant and saying you want food. Look online for pictures and take one with you, or consult the barber for haircut advice. Holy fuck.

>>34300835
that guy has a bowl of chips in his bowl of chips
that's actually a pretty sweet idea

Me the guy eating chips w/guacamole. >>>/ck/

Bring a picture and give additional instructions to make it fit your look. Fucking hell.

>>34300929
The point is he was trying to be funny but wasn't.

Holy fuck, it really isn't that hard.

Just say you want it short on the side (if you say a number two, they should know what that means) and a little longer on top so it can be styled a bit. Nothing fancy, just a little gel.

>>34300951
No he has bowl of dip in his bowl of chips retard

>>34300835
>>34300873
You know these people cut hair all day, right? They've heard every single fucking joke you could make about haircuts atleast a million times. Just tell them what you want so they can get on with their jobs, you unfunny faggots

>>34300964
I said number 3 and she fucked it up now it's too short

>>34300971
They don't know how unfunny this shit is because they don't have jobs.

I'm in school right now for hairstyling. It's only been 4 months, yet I've already heard your supposed joke and many variations of it at least 30 times. Not only is it not funny and not in the slightest clever, it also creates this awful impression on the person cutting your hair that you are going to be yet another person who cannot simply explain what they want for a cut and leave unhappy because they didn't get what they wanted.

If you want to have an easier ride in life where you won't feel socially awkward, avoid the exact behaviour that you currently engage in. Simply say exactly what you want (not some ambiguous shit like 'shorter' or 'finger length', use inches or centimeters or clipper sizes instead) or show a picture. Then just talk about the weather or something else that absolutely everyone can talk about without effort. Or you can even choose to simply shut the fuck up. Either the hairdresser will appreciate a moment of silence or they'll guide the conversation themselves.

At the end of your visit when you look a full point on a scale of 10 better because you gave the stylist clear and concise instructions instead of making dumbass jokes, you'll walk out of the salon a better man for it and maybe stop being such a loser robot and graduate from this board.

>>34301235
Nice "career" stacey, real original

>>34301294
Not a stacey. 26 virgin male robot decided to go to hair school.

>>34301235

This is a weird mentality you're expressing, but I've seen it a lot from hairdressers. They need to teach hairdressers that most people don't realise the hairdresser wants instructions from the customer. Most of the time, especially males or people who don't have a highly specific thing they're after, just assume that the hairdresser will do a basic job and generally know what to do. The average person doesn't know what 'clipper size' to ask for because they haven't had experience with the different sizes.

You really need to calm down and consider things like this.

>>34300966
who actually uses dip though

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>>34301333

I'm growing my hair out atm, and i'm in the awkward stage. Specifically because the back is long and looks autistic. I do the middle part atm.

If I got the back cut shorter/cleaned up, would that cause problems later on growing my hair out?

Should I be going to a salon or barber?

>>34300835
>go to barber
>asks what I want
>"one hitler youth sir"
>"a hitler what?"
>gives me a strange room
>pull out phone and search hitler youth into google image
>show him
>"o-ok"


I've had the same haircut for 2 years now so I guess I could get by with saying "same thing just a trim" or call it a "undercut" like a normie.

robot here with messy jew curls, any advice? before i got shorter on the sides and trimmed the top.

>>34301373
I'm very calm when the person is in my chair. I just shake my head internally and proceed. The thing is is that no hairdresser is expecting the client to themselves be a hairdresser who knows exactly what they want or the proper terminology for things.

But just about everyone knows what an inch is. So even if you aren't knowledgeable enough to say, "A number 4 (Wahl size clippers, at least) on the sides," you should be able to explain something as simple as, "1/2 inch on the sides please," to the haircutter.

And even if that is too much to expect of someone, which it is since 50% of people can't even manage this much in my experience, they should be able to at least give a clear yes or no when I physically show them what the finished length will be before I ever even make the first cut for my guideline. Yet even then, when I am holding their hair between my fingers and displaying it for them to see clearly how long it will be, I still get waffle responses like, "I guess, I don't know, maybe..."

FYI, one of the first things we are taught is that most people don't know that they have to direct the cut to the hairdresser. That is also why we are taught to ask explicitly what the client wants and not to proceed with the cut until you can pry some sort of answer from them because while they are so unsure of what they want, they are also all to ready to complain about the service received and slander the salon when they get a cut they don't like.

only normies get haircuts.
long or buzzed is the sign of one who doesn't give a fuck.

I just shave my whole head so I don't have to deal with anyone. Right on my porch. Most people look at me funny. Guess it's not normal. It's cheap though and black girls love it.

>>34301615

You are one feisty little hairdresser.

>>34301615
just curious: are you gay? (no homo)

>>34300835
>Hair executioner asks me what number I usually use on the Clippers
>Say Number 2 like Dr evil and then get on the floor and do the dinosaur and 360 degree no scope out of there for you big guy lol XD

>>34301500
Not op but don't cut it. Get a friend/sibling to shave the nape of your neck. The awkward phase always happens, you just gotta deal with it.

>>34301500
It depends on how short you are talking and how straight your hair is. If you have curly hair and want to grow it out long and you cut the back or sides short, then the layers of hair from the top of your head that are longer than the rest will flare up and away from your head, giving your hair a triangle shape that is very autistic.

If you have straight or just wavy hair, get a haircutter to bring the hair at the back so that it is about and inch shorter than the hair on top. If you get it tapered much shorter than that, it'll look too girly as it grows out because your hair will begin to curl in towards your head at the ends since there isn't enough hair underneath.

Either option, once you're hair is past shoulder length, get the back trimmed again so that it hangs at the same level as your sides or you'll look like you have a mullet when the back is 6 inches longer than your sides.

>>34301706
Not gay, but I can't really say I'm straight either since I have no proof other than that I jerk it to straight porn. But I'll never hook up with anyone since I don't want social interaction outside of work so I'll be a virgin for life.

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>>34300835

>tfw the hairdresser offers to shampoo
>tfw person cutting my hair is a large breasted milf
>tfw her smooth hands run across my hair and her fingers rub against my scalp
>tfw this is one of the few moments in a year when a female actually makes physical contact with me

>>34301682
Only online. I'm very quiet in person. But I and everyone in my class as well as our teachers feel the same way as I do about this subject. The thing is though that we get paid only by giving the client what they want, so even if someone is seemingly working against you when it comes to their hair, you have to deal with it.

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>>34301788

>then the layers of hair from the top of your head that are longer than the rest will flare up and away from your head, giving your hair a triangle shape that is very autistic.

checked and kekked hard

If you don't cut your own hair, you are a normie. Robots have neither the money nor the social graces to visit a salon or barber.

>>34301869
You'd like hairschool then. We wash each others hair regularly when we practice different stuff and since 99% the students are female and good looking, you get to have their boobs in your face regularly.

>>34301993

You don't need social graces to have someone cut your hair. You can just sit there silently and autistically until they say they're done, and then you pay them and then you leave. Unless you're going to end up throwing a shit fit and grabbing the scissors from the barbers' hand and threatening them with it, you're fine.

>>34302072
You're not a robot. Don't argue with me, just understand: you're not a robot. I will never be able to let someone cut my hair.

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>year 2017
>not cutting your own hair

>>34302154
No, he may very well be a robot, just as you are. Some robots are just extra special. Special meaning autistic enough to throw a shit fit.

>>34302154

I'm probably even more of a robot than you. I bet you're not even a virgin.

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>>34301788

Thank you, so I just ask them to only bring the hair in the back to just one inch below the top?

I'm around this length, but the back is bulky since I haven't had it cut.

Anyone got any hairstyles that aren't normie-tier? My hair is about two inches on the top/front and an inch-inch and a half everywhere else. Or at least tips on what I could say when I'm asked what I want. I was thinking about just saying to shorten it about halfway all around, is that good enough?

>>34302251
Sorry if I'm not understanding you correctly. You want to bring the hair in the back so that it is about 1 inch shorter than the hair on the top. To be as clear as I can, if the hair on top is 7 inches, then the back and side should be 6 inches. That will keep the hair in a nice shape as it grows out to shoulder length.

If you are sticking with the centre part, I'd suggest purchasing some wide headbands to give you some variety with your styling options. Centre parts are really ugly up in a ponytail on men but if you can manage a headband then that will at least give an option outside of always leaving it down once it gets longer.

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>>34302381

I understand what you mean now.

This is my goal hair.

>>34302291
Actually, yes, that is all you'd have to do to not be a normie. The current trend for men is is close cropped fades on the sides and back and fairly long on top. If you keep the sides and back all one length like yours are now, then you are technically going against the trend. It is still a respectable haircut, but people will think it's boring, which is perfect for a robot.

>>34300835
>tfw found a stacy would is good at cutting hair and tolerates my autism

>>34302426
Cool. One final tip in that case. If this is what you're going for, then once your hair is shoulder length, ask your hairstylist for a 'blunt cut'. This is the type of haircut in the image. If you say that you want a 'blunt cut', which means that all the hair is cut to a single weight line, they will cut your hair exactly how you would like.

>>34302435
Wonderful, I hate that undercut/fade shit, my hair has gotten too heavy to do my normal hairdo, so i want to revert it to what it was like two months ago.

>>34302480

Thank you, any tips on finding a hairstylist as a male?

>>34302493
As a fellow robot, I hate them too and get in constant shit from my classmates that my hair is too normal, which makes me laugh and call them normies under my breath.

>>34300835
I was just thinking about the scenario in that picture last night. What the fuck are you supposed to do in this situation? No meme answer. I would want to set the room on fire.

>>34302507
Avoid barbershops. Either you'll get some oldschool guy who can't think outside of the box, or you'll get some modern hipster joint that will try and force you into a fade.

Go to a salon, bask in the titties as you get your hair washed, and let the lovely woman working on you as clearly as you can what you'd like and she'll do her best for you. The quality of the salon isn't a big issue since what you want is fairly simple. Just make sure to leave a decent tip so that if you go back to the same person they may put in that bit of extra effort.

Anyone else buzzcut their own hair but don't know how to trimp the back of their neck hairline? 3 times I've tried. I tried it freehanded with a mirror and I fucked it up bad. I tried holding a comb straight along it and I fucked it up bad. I put tape to the back of my head and somehow that still made it uneven. So for now I've sworn to not worry about cutting that area down. I'll just let it stick out goofily. If I want to look less retarded I should put effort into my physical health.

>>34302520
>"get a load of this guy, he does have a sick af fade"
>"why don't you get a nice haircut like the rest of us anon"
under my breath
>"you degenerates disgust me"
>everybody looks at me with a shock expression
>"d-did I say that aloud?"

>>34301615
>just about everyone knows what an inch is
lol no xd

>>34302202
b-but i don't know how to border it and i look weird..

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>tell stacy i just want a few inches trimmed off
>she gave me a meme undercut

>>34301333
Are you just gonna be a hair cutter or are you gonna go to barber school and work with razors and shit

>>34301522
show a pic of an example of this

>>34300971
OH GOD WOE IS THEM I'D JUST KILL MYSELF IF I HAD TO HEAR... *SNIFF*... CORNY JOKES!!!

Why do faggots in service jobs bitch about this so much? In fact, why do they bitch so much in general? If you don't like your job, quit. If you need income, get a better job. If you can't get a better job, improve your qualifications and clean up your resume. Just stop with your insipid, hollow whining. Your life is not that fucking bad and your job is not even remotely difficult.

>>34302426
i never tell this but kys man

if you like this fucking junkie hobo hair

>>34304144
They believe they are underpaid for the work they do, which makes them depressed. Have you ever tried cheering up someone that is acting pathetic? Not as easy as making a corny joke.

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I want a hime cut but with very curly tapered fishtails like so

This seems to elude all hairstylists. I saw a girl with this cut perfectly though and I might just come out and ask her who cuts her hair, but I won't want to come off as autist.

My dad was in the navy so we go to the base for cheap haircuts. One time the female barber asked me what haircut I wanted and I told her to give me the haircut she thought looked best, that it was up to her. Her eyes lit up and in the end I looked like a faggot.

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>>34304247
You literally acted like an autistic the moment you didn't immediately ask her who cuts her hair. Posting online about this contrived dilemma is pathetic and the girl to whom you're considering to pose your question would likely cringe in disgust if she knew that you went to such "creepy" lengths to prepare yourself to ask her about her hair. After you ask her she'll literally just say to her friends or post on her vapid social media platform "omg some dude asked me who cuts my hair XDD" So if you want to know you should ask her, not autistically kys about it on /r9k/

>>34300929

>. Look online for pictures and take one with you,

Nobody does this at a barber shop for men. Its extremely effeminate.

> or consult the barber for haircut advice

Nobody does this either at real barber shops. Its extremely effeminate.

You're supposed to go in and describe exactly how you want in cut in words. Not with style names or pictures or advice. Words, like a man. Tell him how you want your hair cut, where you want shorter or longer, how to shape it, etc.

Autists are notoriously bad at this and so you get Dylann Roof's haircut.