How do your parents view your lonely life? My parents think

>>34292993
I live in a different town literally 1000 KM away
My family thinks i have friends
and that i occasionally date
and have a decent job

in reality i have none of those things
i might get evicted if i don't pay the next months rent.


>how upset and suicidal I am.
why anon. whats wrong, tell us

>>34292993
They don't think about me. My father has never been with us and my mom never talked to me. So it's kind of a plus actually, because they don't worry. I am, however, dying inside because of how lonely I am.

>not being open with your parents

I blew up at my mum once because she kept calling me handsome and I told her im not and to stop coddling me and she was really beat up about it, since then i've been open about my depression and anxiety and shes quite chill about everything now.

She still calls me handsome but thats because I spend most of my time looking into a mirror when im depressed because I find a comfort in being able to see myself.

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dad always telling me I should meet a girl, mom wants grandbabies and shit. I just wanna be left alone t b h

>>34293066
>My family thinks i have friends
How often do you speak to your family? Do you have to fabricate stories, or do you just remain mysterious and vague?

It felt bad having to lie when my parents asked me if I'm going out at the weekends etc when I lived at uni.
I couldn't bare to tell them that apart from lectures I didn't leave my room in 8 months, and made exactly 0 friends during this time.

>why anon. whats wrong, tell us
nothing original
21yo khv neet who hasn't spoken to a girl in several years

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I have much bigger problems that they're concerned about.

think my life is good. i have friends. i told them aaron did something they said no didn't. every time i try another friend he tells me his busy. i don't really try him.

>>34292993
My mother seems to think that I easily make friends and have lots of them, she even mentions it sometimes. She doesn't seem to have a clue that I got bullied through most of kindergarten and school and only managed to improve in highschool and now college.

I do get the occasional comment about getting a gf though, from my sisters as well (they're 16 and 18 and haven't had a bf either, so they really shouldn't be talking). Overall it's ok though, I wouldn't want my family to pity me

>>34293102
>not being open with your parents
my mum would just recommend me a bunch of pseudoscience natural medicine to take, and I can't deal with that conversation.

>I blew up at my mum once because she kept calling me handsome
my mum's recently stopped doing this, as i tell her that i fucking hate it and it makes me uncomfortable

>I spend most of my time looking into a mirror
do you talk to yourself?

>>34293127
>>34293165
How do you reply to your parents talking about a gf and babies?

I've told my parents that I never want children, and I don't care enough to leave the house to look for a gf. But it's always awkward and uncomfortable

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I live with my Dad, so he knows just how lonely I am. Every time I look at him, I see pity in his eyes.

My Mum sort've knows, I guess. She usually just sends me texts every few days saying the typical Mum shit, "Love u anon have a nice day" and drops off baking and weed every now and then.

I think they're just silently worried about me but would never openly discuss it or bring it up to me. I would also hate for them to know how upset and suicidal I am.

>>34292993
My parents think I'm happy just because of my hobby.
Thanks to it, I leave the house like once every two months, and I've made a few internet friends.

In realtity I'm alone all the time, and I feel shittier every day.

>>34293178
I dont talk to myself but I inspect my face thoroughly and I mean really thoroughly, ill check the strands in my iris' my paws and my neck. I also pull faces that I feel I do on a daily basis or maybe some that I think would be done in a scenario I havent been in yet.

Its very strange I know but it makes me feel better.

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>>34293242
I meant pores. Jesus christ.

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My parents are literally selling the house and moving across the country because they're afraid I'm going to murder them. Obviously they will not be telling me where exactly their new home is. They intend to completely abandon me to homelessness and suicide knowing VERY WELL that I will not be able to support myself without their help. I won't even get the satisfaction of taking them down with me.

>>34293216
I'm not old enough for them to be talking about babies

They mostly bring up the gf thing like "if you don't learn to cook (or some other shit) / don't treat women well etc. you'll never get a gf" which is complete horseshit. I either say "yeah sure" or "what a load of bullshit" in response.

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>>34293261
At least you can kill yourself without having to consider your parents feelings.

If only I was so lucky.

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>>34292993
my mother hates it and cries sometimes...
and the worst part is that she doesn't even know how mentally fucked up i am

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>>34293316
I really don't want to kill myself. I've been struggling not to for almost 10 years. I am desperate to live.

They want me to die. The whole fucking world wants me to die. If I die, they win. I want to stay alive as long as I can if only to spite and do as much harm to society as possible in my lifetime.

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this might sound juvenile but it's kind of their fault. I was obsessively coddled because of my legit autism, held back, censored from, kept in the dark to the point where I couldn't relate to almost anyone and any reference they made went right over my head. All the time I could've spent developing social skills and getting to know my peers was instead spent in IEP meetings and talking to special counselors

they won't admit they're disappointed but I can tell they are. I honestly don't care at this point

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OP here, I'm going to bed

It's only 8.30pm, but it's the second 8.30pm I've had since I've last slept.

Thank you for the posts, I hope this thread stays alive so I have something to read in the morning

god bless

>>34293431
Are you me?

I honestly feel like the reason i am so socially awkward is because i was allowed to be the special snowflake autistic kid. Nobody ever called me out on my weirdness so i just thought it was socially acceptable and now i just dont talk to anyone because its the only way to guarantee that i dont look like a tard.

I don't know, I never talk to my parents even though I still live with them.

>>34293138
>How often do you speak to your family?
once or twice a month.

>Do you have to fabricate stories, or do you just remain mysterious and vague?
A little bit of both, for eg this new year i had to lie that i am going out with a few work buddies for new years celebration,
but in reality i spend the entire in my room alone. most of the times i am just vague.

i lost my job a few month ago, and things have been going to hell since then, at work i didn't had any real friends
but i did get along with most of my co-worker, and i would occasionally get invited to someones birth day or something

I just cant seem to make friends i get along with people but can't form a strong bond. it never develop into friendships.

my luck with women is getting worse as i age.

worst thing is people think i am normal. they think i am the silent type..

>>34293165
>I got bullied through most of kindergarten
>kindergarten

Literally who cares though? That's unimportant

My mom thinks I never get lonely, and says I'm lucky for that. She thinks I'm a sociopath who plays violent video games, enjoying the gore and chopping off heads and shooting people and stuff. She threatens suicide if I ever move out.

It's weird how I give off that kind of image. Sometimes I cry if I just watch the news and hear about nasty murders. In video games I don't even like being violent, and one of my goals is to write children's stories.

>>34293595
Well I got bullied in kindergarten so I didn't develop the same social skills the other kids did. So when I started in elementary school I was a pushover and the weird kid, so I got bullied there as well. Once I had that reputation I got bullied for the rest of elementary school. By then I was mentally fucked so I got bullied in middle school as well.

See the pattern?

>>34293528
Yep, I am you. That sums up why I isolate myself from others. Strange how the most developmentally devastating thing for autists is being treated like an autist, by morons who think they're doing the right thing

>>34293601
She sounds like a delusional cunt who is deliberately holding you back because she can't let go

Move out

>>34293649
Yep. Whats just as fucked is when they tell you that they cant even notice that you are autistic.

>>34293772
I know a lot of autists find that annoying but I never understood why

>>34293891
Not that guy, but it's annoying because it's obviously bullshit

If you have autism you need actual, frank and truthful information to improve. "White lies" are complete garbage and just make thing worse for you because they make it even harder for you to understand things

>>34293956
oh.

that never occurred to me. God I feel stupid now

You know what's terrible ... They are actually beginning to see it my way. All I can do now is watch as it kills them ever more quickly.

>>34294021
You can't cure autism. Fitting in doesn't necessarily mean you'll enjoy it.

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>>34292993
I go on dates and they think I'm desperate for a guy, that I just go for anyone especially because my first boyfriend was ugly even though I thought he was cute.

It's been worse because now assholes have been tricking me into thinking they're sweet and wholesome to lure me in. The other day one went batshit and came to my job to threaten me after I cut him off like an hour earlier (for being too controlling) with possible intentions of killing me from impulse. My parents gave me shitty advice today like talk to every single friend and desperately ask them to match me with someone nice, or join church groups.

Honestly just fuck my love life. With the batshit guy I dug myself into a hole. If I ever date a guy within the next like year they'll say
>SOMEONE THREATENED YOU AND YOU WANT TO DATE AGAIN???

my parents don't give a shit about anything other than themselves. they were never parents, all they have ever been were bank accounts when i needed things.

>>34294103
>It's been worse because now assholes have been tricking me into thinking they're sweet and wholesome to lure me in.

Girl that's how it works, you're trying to look to mitigate that, not eliminate it. Not saying people can't genuinely love each other, but they sure as shit can't stop themselves from having individual needs first and foremost. Getting to know someone enough to tolerate that takes an entire lifetime.

Don't listen to your parents, breeders are fucking idiots 100% of the time.

>>34293419
Go on shooting spree and kill as many of them before dying. It'll be a huge hit to society

>>34294193
No god damnit. You don't have to kill random people just because some evil creator caused us to suffer. Your gripe is with God himself, if we are even lucky enough to be able to blame this all on one single entitity.

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>>34294142
I know guys do that, it's no surprise, but all of a sudden they're everywhere. It went from not dating a guy because we end up not being compatible, to not dating because they're a raging douchebag starts to show through.

I was able to figure out the crazy guy pretty fast because I can see the signs...or he is just so psychopath that it's hard to miss. Church group guys wouldn't date a non-virgin anyway.

>>34294228
>I know guys do that, it's no surprise, but all of a sudden they're everywhere.

Internet culture. It will pass, perhaps not before you and I. But it is not the way things are meant to be, because everything is meant to change or die.

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>>34294210
But anon it isn't god who makes us suffer but society

>>34293261
Why do they think you'd murder them? Greentext, anon.

They have no idea because all my problems are internal. I have superficial friends, I've had girlfriends and I have a stable job and moved out and everything. They think it's all good that I'm successful and mature.
In reality I keep flirting with every girl in sight, fucking anyone passable just for the validation, and when I work up the hope that one of them might be worth something I inevitably dump them a few months later because they're not good enough. I've never felt love, not for my gf of a year, or my parents, or anyone I can think of. Every girl is super vapid and boring, at least the ones interested in me. It's not even about validation anymore, I just want to feel something.

In the rare occasions I shared how I thought about people, they told me I was egotistical and cold-hearted. Funny because I really didn't give a shit about what they thought about me.

>>34294256
According to semitic texts we are made in his image. What a stupid move! This is why the technological singularity is an increasingly popular concept.

>>34294103
>several boyfriends
>more than one are nuts or assholes

What could be the common factor here hmmmmmmm

My mom knows that I don't need people around and that's completely fine. she also knows I have been looking for a reason to live unsuccessfully for over 10 years now.

>>34292993
Precisely the same OP

>>34294334
Not them but fuck you, I bet your face looks like a pile of horse shit and all of your friends use you.

>>34294319
You're just haunting the world. Find some purpose than being a sentient disease of kys already.

I've had a previous relationship so my parents know it isn't me not being desirable, rather that I just have some pretty high standards.

Personally, I can't be bothered for dealing with a woman's shit. All the upsides are not worth the complaining, the nagging, and the fact that if you slap her to get her to shut the fuck up, she'll just run to the police and you get a five stretch.

They also know I want to move out into a bedsit eventually and still think I'll probably still be able to find a decent girl.

I'll be fine.

>>34294402
>them

I just replied to one post, are you retarded

>your friends use you

How? I'm not a female they want to fuck

Also if that is that roastie I replied to, being emotionally unstable like that and unable to handle criticism means it's no wonder you fall for every dude who pretends to be overly sweet.

Dumb cunt

>>34294443
I'm clean mate, I get tested after every fresh contact with vagina

>>34292993
I have a gf and that gif made me want to have a gf.

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>>34294527
>not them
>but if you are them...

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>>34292993
>I would hate for them to realise how upset and suicidal I am.
>mfw

Same here, man. Same here.

Back in the old college days, I had a girlfriend. She was great: cute, legitimately nerdy, sharp witted, and with good taste in music. We were together for some two years. Then I found out she'd been cheating on me with a Chad.

I dropped out school and became a NEET within two months. I've recovered somewhat, but something about that experience triggered some kind of autism that never went away.

As for how my parents view my being a complete shutin that only leaves his room to work... Well, they blame her. They also insist I need therapy, and they're probably right. To be honest, the only reason I haven't gone is because, on some level, I enjoy being mad at her, and I don't want to get over it.

Hate is a powerful motivator. It might not get you anywhere, but it gets you out of bed in the morning.

>>34294583
I'm not even sure what that person was trying to say

Anyways in every second thread you have some autist who pull the "not that guy" card even though it's clearly him

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>>34292993
>parents started to force me to find a girl and marry
>saying "my friend's daugther just for you ^^" type of shit all the time
>my brother didn't marry so I am their only hope for their bloodline
>date a girl 2 times rejected countless times, be a single for 4 years
>learn all these years that unless the girl is very traditional and qtpie having girl is not a benefical for man
>say to your father that "your bloodline is over, I am serious don't talk about it anymore"
>he gets teary eyes
>add "unless you find me a traditional asian girl, maybe central asian would be good"
>he really goes to central asian community just for searching girl for me
WHAT THE HELL? Why do they want me to marry for fucks sake, it's none of their business.

>>34294589
underrated post
Are you working now anon? What are you doing nowadays?

>>34295489
All I do anymore is work. Granted, it's in a warehouse, so it's nothing special. But as it turns out, working 60+ hours a week and sleeping when you're not at work is an effective way of distracting yourself from everything that's bothering you.

Some people drink. Some people use drugs. I work.

>>34295679
Maybe your wounds will be healed after some years anon, don't loose hope.
At least you are a very good person, even this has to mean something. Good luck on mending your wounds.

>>34294319

>Poor little Chad

Kill yourself.

>>34295277
>Why do they want me to marry for fucks sake
Have you tried asking them? I bet they think it'll make you happy.

>>34295679
>Some people drink. Some people use drugs. I work.

Wageslaving doesn't release endorphins ... maybe spending the earned money but you're the equivalent of a cough syrup addict to someone who smokes weed on occasion.

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>>34293626
It's easy to blame your own shortcomings on others.

>>34294318
In several arguments I've threatened to murder-suicide them if they ever really go through with kicking me out of my home. I was completely serious and it worked. Until they moved out without telling me.

>>34293891
Because you feel like a patronized retard.

>>34296141
If I were your dad I'd shatter your arms and legs and go to jail. And i'm not even a dude, nor do I assume they are blameless.

>>34292993
My dad only cares that I keep a job, and my mom is the same. They haven't asked me about a gf or wife ever since high school.

When I was 18 they were wondering if I was gay, but I was just always unlucky with women. They found that out fast. I think they just gave up at this point, and just want to know that I'm financially stable.

>>34292993
I wish I had your fucking parents. I became a normie about 2 years ago so now I have a social life but I'm also an introvert who enjoys being completely alone a lot but whenever I want to spend a weekend at the house it's "You spend all your time in your room!" "It's like you're in a convalescent home, wasting away!" "You never go outside!"

NIGGER, I came home with a fucking hangover last weekend, can I spend a fucking Saturday sitting around doing nothing? Jesus Christ.

>>34296038
When I ask, they are just saying, "anon everybody has to marry" or "it's our mission in life" kinda shit.
I think they have other ultimate motives.

>>34292993
My parents are presumably concerned, but they're too busy with their own problems to ever really care.

Which is fine, I prefer them not get involved, anyway.

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My parents just gives me usual "why can't you settle and find a nice girl to wife" and I keep telling them "Because nobody wants this" but in reality I enjoy drinking, partying, driving sports cars and fucking strippers too much to ever settle down.

>>34296252
>I think they have other ultimate motives.

Validation of oneself is a poor motivator for you, isn't it?

>>34292993
I think they've realized that they're never going to understand me and have stopped trying. Makes ife much easier for all involved 2bh

>>34296380
>Validation of oneself is a poor motivator for you, isn't it?
Anon, it has been my main problem for all these years, how could you guess it from two paragraphs. I am shocked right now. Have you also gone through this kinda thing?

>>34296087
Well as a kid you can't really do much other than what you are taught by your parents and the people around you

I have friends now and could probably get a gf. I'm just really bitter and resentful though

>>34296190
>not even a dude

Hmmmhmmm roastie pls go

>>34296457
Alright, I can get that, sorry about my bluntness.
Based on nothing I've always believed we're way more destined than we think we are, as in it's determined that you'll do the way you do and act the way you'll act from day 1.

>>34296639
>Alright, I can get that, sorry about my bluntness

No worries, I always do that as well (being blunt that is). Only normalcucks easily feel insulted online

>Based on nothing I've always believed we're way more destined than we think we are, as in it's determined that you'll do the way you do and act the way you'll act from day 1.

Determined by whom? God? Or do you mean as in with enough information one could predict a persons future? Because within the limits of uncertainty you could do that.

That aside it is obviously a mixture of nature and nurture. It always feels compelling to go based on some just world hypothesis, but of course that is just a coping mechanism

>>34296190
They're afraid of me. I'm bigger and stronger than my father now. I can shout louder than he can now. I'M the one that gets to make threats now.

You seem like you'd be a very shitty abusive parent, I hope that some day when your poor kids grow up they gift you back all the abuse you put them through and then some. Remember, you won't be young forever cunt.

>>34292993
Since both of my older brothers turned out to be trashy deadbeats, my parents are just content that I'm finishing school with a degree. I'm pretty sure they'll solemnly agree with anything I do in life as I can't get any worser than the former two. I have a pretty good relationship with my folks regardless of anything.

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>>34296762
>God
No. I just thought a huge part of the way you'll be is determined by the brain structure and chemistry you'll recieve at the start. Sure, it's not like your environment will have 0 impact, but still, miniscule.
Don't think I'll defend this statement since I have next to no knowledge on the subject.

>>34292993
They know I got fucked over hard before. But I'm always out with friends or doing shit with people. Only around the holidays do they start saying stuff.
>have a girl you'd like to bring for dinner some time anon?
>"no"
>have any girl you're talking to?
>"no"
>it's been six years anon
>"I know"
Other than that life is good.

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>>34292993
My parents have done everything to make meet people. I never do, I just drive somewhere and sit in my car, daydreaming about what it would be like to interact with no anxiety.

My cousin, who is 16, has a steady boyfriend, and everyone is happy for her, me included. I'm bitter because I'm 5 years older than her and haven't even talked to a girl my age on a personal level in years, but I'd never want to bring them down with that.

They always ask if I've met any cute girls, and whenever they do, it makes me want to cry.

>>34296892
Here's an article on it

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/under-the-influence/201307/do-genes-influence-personality

Genes do have a significant impact, although it is hard to say how much.

That having been said, height is almost purely genetical, but you can still very majorly fuck it up by malnutrition during childhood. I would imagine being isolated, heavily bullied or something like that would also very much stunt personal growth.

So even if for most people genetics are a large factor in personality this isn't a guarantee that no matter what you do things will end up the same

>>34293102
>>34293178
Moms will always think their sons are handsome its like when you take a shit and gaze at it. dont be so hard on your moms.

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>>34297225
Wow, interesting stuff. I did read some things about nutrition and the affects on physical development. Thanks mate.

>>34297225
I refused to eat meat in my formative years, still do. I hate the taste, and I'm a lifelong vegetarian. Every other man in my family is at least 5'10 or higher. I'm 5'7. I probably fucked myself in some way, but I could never picture myself as a tall guy, so I guess it's okay. Being small and invisible has its benefits.

>>34297359
Sure thing bro

>>34297365
http://www.nature.com/news/2005/050221/full/news050221-5.html

Sounds like you shot yourself in the leg there

Unless your parents are responsible vegetarians who know exactly what to eat in order to still get the right nutrients a diet very low in meat during childhood will have significant negative impact on you

>>34297459
My parents were both meat eaters, and tried to get me to eat it, but I just couldn't get past the taste and texture, so they eventually quit trying. Fish, beef, pork, poultry, it all smells and tastes disgusting to me and I don't know why. I have no problem killing animals for food though, that's not my hang up.

>>34297585
Guess you got cucked by your tastebuds

Should have listened to your parents and eaten that meat

I do actually know a girl irl who does the same thing you do (being vegetarian due to a dislike of the taste of meat and fish). Not like anyone cares about whether a woman is a bit shorter than her genetical potential though anyways

>>34297781
It helps that I'm mixed race and have some non-white phenotypes. Nobody bats an eye if they see a short guy who looks like might have Asian or Hispanic ancestry.

>>34292993
They think I enjoy being alone in my room all day, that I like how I can only talk to friends that are on the Internet.
Sometimes I get the old 'why don't you leave the house more' to which I respond with how I don't have any friends and then they leave feeling awkward knowing they can't argue with me.
Part of me enjoys it, but I feel like I've only convinced myself that I'm happier alone when in reality I know having a social life would be better for me.

Honestly I don't care what they thinks long as I get to stay living a comfy life.

I told them I found a job and moved across the country for it. I am just a NEET so it kind of makes me feel bad to talk about how much I love work and my home and friends whenever my mom calls