Warning: edginess below
Why am I so bounded by my past? Everything used to be so much better. Nothing that happens now is good. I know that's not really the case, but this is how it feels. Almost anything I think back on, as long as it happened far enough in the past, brings back a sense of nostalgia. I'm sure that if I could go back to the past and re-live those same moments, they wouldn't feel any different from how my everyday life feels now. But when I reminisce about them, they feel magical. That spot behind the abandoned convenience store where I listened to music alone. That anime I watched when I was 15. That girl I held hands with in 2nd grade.
How can I keep living at this rate? Is the purpose of living to make new memories to later think back on? But my chest already feels leaden with these emotions. I desire something, but I can't get it, no matter how hard I wish. I keep hitting my head against an impassable wall. It hurts.
everything gets grayer and grayer until it fades to black.
there really is no point in living past 25
>>34285267
I feel the same way at times wish I could back
>>34285308
Glad to know my life, for all intents and purposes, is already over.
>>34285359
I'm 20 and I already feel this way... I wonder how it will be when I'm 25.
>>34285398
I wonder if that would help... What if I did go back? I'd wonder around that building bored and alone, kick some rocks here and there. What's so special about that? Nothing. Nothing, and yet... I want to go back so much.
>>34285267
your thread isn't getting a lot of responses, so i think you're still here. i'll bite
remembrance is a meme
literally anyone in my elementary/middle school days that i shared a class with, i could probably tell you what their first and last name was and just a couple of facts about them. 99% of them are just regular normie young adults now.
there's no doubt that i don't exist in even 0.001% of their memory.
but yet i remember their faces clear as day
because i remember them, i remember what kind of friends they had, how they treated me, how they treated other people
but none of them probably remember me
they don't even remember that they bullied me
which is fine, i guess.
there are some moments in the past which i keep thinking about. like nice moments where i just sorta want to stand there and enjoy it.
i realized i can go back and feel those feelings again if i had enough money.
so that's what i do. i work my ass of in hopes of experiencing that again