>just fucked my late fifties chubby chinese neighbor that

>>34276250
>fucking a woman that barely speaks your language
how did this happen?

>>34276250
greentext please

Oregano chinese tea

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>>34276800

>23 year old NEET
>live an apartment building
>she lives across from me
>always see her in the halway
>she always smiles and waves at me
>one day see her in the halway again
>"you help me?"
>ok, sure... what is it?
>"come in"
>walk into her apartment she takes me to her kitchen
>she points at her microwave
>"no work"
>uh ok let me take a look at it
>after pretending to know what I'm looking at for about five minutes I realize it's not plugged in
>the whole time I was 'fixing' it she was standing beside me
>eventually she put her arm on my back
>it made it's way down to just above my ass
>when I 'fixed' it she said "you smart man, handsome man" with a big smile on her face as she looks up at me
>realize she's rubbing my arm
>tell her "you're very beautiful too" (she isn't)
>she stares at me for a few seconds smiling then says "you fuck me?"
>mfw

That was one tuesday, I've been fucking her a couple times a day ever since

>>34277107
brb jerking off

>>34277107
I wish I could jerk it to this but this is fucking HILARIOUS

>>34277107
>NEET
>live an apartment building

how?

>>34277107
>Be 23 yo NEET
>live across from Chinese woman
>imagine me fucking her
>post it to 4chung

>>34277107
Is she fat and ugly, or just not pretty?

While I'm kind of happy for you, you don't belong here anymore.

>>34277268
>live an apartment building
I live with my mother, who works

>>34277298
she's average looking, but old and chubby

>>34277348
post a pic op

or go fuck her again

>>34277348
original pics, lad

>>34277376
why would I have photos of her?

>>34277409
people are dumb.

as if 'chubby chinese lady in her late fifties' isn't descriptive enough

If you want to know what she looks like, if your city has a chinatown, take the bus into it.
Every woman that gets on or off the bus in chinatown will look like her.

If you lived in china you'd be paid 500$+ each time

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>>34277669
are manwhores a big thing in china?

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>>34277107

Laughed really hard, OP. Thank you for that.

>>34277688
No so gtfo there before white man fatigue becomes a thing

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>>34277669
>ywn be a sexy big dicked stallion thousands of dollars banging multiple gross old women a night

>>34277875
>ywn remember to type the word 'making'

How's the sex? What was your sex life before? Give us more details man.

>>34277107
>"you fuck me?"
Fucking lost it

>>34277875
Its actually achievable apart from the big dick

>>34277955
This dammit. What's the sex like?

Not op but I'd say the worst part would be the low voice moans

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>>34277107
>you fuck me

>>34277107
W I L D
I
L
D

>>34277955
>>34278113
I hadn't had sex since I was 17, it's pretty good, it's hot that such a frumpy unassuming woman is so horny and dirty.

Honesty looking up old asain on young man porn to pretend

Op do you know if she has had a husband or kids? Like is she an old widow slut?

>>34278326
I don't think she has either.

Doesn't it make you mad that no girl you actually want will do this

>>34277107
I honestly got an erection from this.

>no one has figured out she unplugged it for this exact scenario to happen

>>34278420
Everyone figured that out..

>>34278420
>when you're so stupid that you think you're smart

>>34278420
That's why it's hilarious.

IDK why no one else is laughing hard like me

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>>34278420
Damn dude, you're really smart!!!

>>34278495
Hey don't bully him.

>>34278531
it was good natured ribbing

>ywn have a milf drag you into her house to trick you into sex
>ywn have milfs attracted to you
>ywn leave your hovel to even allow a slim chance of these scenarios to occur
>ywn spill your seed in an old lonely homely woman
>tfw you'll waste your years as a young stud away draining your balls to this fantasy instead of acting on it

>>34276250
>>34277107
Cool story. Tell us another

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>>34277107
>Live in South Louisiana
>All Asian women are married and with their husbands at all times
>They all work with their husbands at restaurants that all make the same food (Seriously, is there a college in China with a Cook for Fat Americans 101?)
Just throw a fucking turban on them and call them off-limits... Is it like this everywhere else?

post some pics OP

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>>34277770
>White man fatigue
Enlighten me

>>34278870
Currently white men are gods in China, but maybe they won't be in a few years

http://edition.cnn.com/2010/BUSINESS/06/29/china.rent.white.people/

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>>34278509
You fuck me?
>this was not an original comment
>i was muted for 2 seconds
>typing this out will ensure it's an original comment!

>ywn be as good as OP
this makes me sad

>>34277107
jesus

living the dream anon

>>34279201
>you fuck me?
*unplugs mircowave*
>sensually rubs arm
>you're a BIG handsome GUY

Did she let you go raw?

>>34277107
Can you get some pics?

>>34279285
>Did she let you go raw?
yes, I cum inside her every time

>>34279195
Fucking JEJ

This was not original either

>>34277107
>>34276250

are you some tall cryptochad

>>34279317
wow dude I hope for your sake she really is in her late 50s

>>34279375
I'm 5'9 180lbs (not /fit/) and autistic

This scenario is one of my ultimate fetishes. I jerk it to old Asian women all the time

>>34279429
it's not unheard of for women to get pregnant that late

would be hilarious

>fucking someone who doesnt speak your language

ive always wanted to try that desu especially with portuguese

what does she say when youre dogging her like a madman op?

>>34279489
>not wanting to do this to french girls

>tfw want to have sex with a girl but would probably prematurely ejaculate

what's the point

>>34279522
I know this feel desu. I wish what was happening to the OP was happening to me, but she'd broken English yell at me and tell me to leave.

>>34279522
If you jerk off a lot then the opposite is more likely
even if you do cum early just eat her out and go for round two

Do you eat her out or anything special, make her orgasm? Or do you just cum and go?

>>34279522
>he doesn't think about jacking off before hand until he gets used to having sex like he does with his hand so he doesn't spew everywhere
SWIM says it's the best way to go about it.

>>34279518
you know what

youre absolutely right anon

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>>34279637
>spanking french girls

>>34279579
I think I actually have an issue.

I jerk off using a fingertip's worth of coconut oil and a half a pump of lotion. The combination is the best feeling I've ever gotten from masturbation. I can stroke and tease myself for an hour but as soon as I start really jerking off I cum within about 30 seconds. A real vagina has to feel a lot better, and I would be way more turned on so I can't imagine lasting any longer than that.

Lol OP this is amusing. Not gonna lie, the idea of pounding a dirty horny woman who is that upfront is pretty hot.

My friend (both of us are eastern-euro) were talking about dating. He's given up on Western women, and he outright said "I actually think it's hot when a girl can't speak English properly. If you've passed your ESL classes, I don't want to know you" lolol

>>34279713
>were talking about dating. He's given up on Western women
really thought this was about going gay

>>34279757

Nah we both have gf's. He's dating a Chinese girl right now. He actually can speak Chinese.

We were actually drinking and laughing at the fact that it'd be fucking amazing to be gay men, because really, being a gay is fucking awesome. Gay men have way more sex, are way more open, and don't have to deal with women's bs.

>>34276250
Older Asian women are my kryptonite

>>34279712
Take adderall and try fapping. Some people say it gets rid of boners but when I forced them on my boners were around for a good 3 hours of nonstop fapping!

>>34279698
Guess i'll never know how it feels as a french dude

>>34280160
dress up as a girl and I'll spank you

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>>34280191
>>34280160
Hey you made a friend!

>>34280074
>Take adderall
say no to drugs

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>>34279712
>>34280074

No need, just take ssris. They strongly inhibit orgasm. It's one of their most "useful" side effects.

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>>34277107
>>tell her "you're very beautiful too" (she isn't)
DEVILISH

>>34280922
thanks doctor nosenberg

>>34277107
omg loool its like a bad porno plot yu a fuka me white boi? yu like a fat titties? ahahahahaha

>>34281032
>omg loool
>ahahahahaha

>>34279481
oh white boi a yu fucka me me havea baby somehow? LOL

>>34281091
*unplugs dick*

>>34281045
make yu horny white boi?
yu likea da yellow ass?

kek

>>34277107
That's a porno script my dude

>>34277107
>>she stares at me for a few seconds smiling then says "you fuck me?"

this is fake . she can barely speak english but she said you fuck me . i don't beleive you .

>>34277313
you sound like a complete loser, good job getting some pussy

>>34281306
>implying the first phrase a roastie would learn isn't how to offer her pussy to chad

>>34277107
fuck her right now dude. and then take some pics

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>>34277107
>after pretending to know what I'm looking at for about five minutes I realize it's not plugged in

AH HA HA HA!

>>34278839
Lol I think there is a cook for fat American school every Chinese food place sources their containers and shit from the same place I use to work as a driver for one

>>34277107
you're so full of shit anon...

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>>34279317
>yes, I cum inside her every time
>>34279317
>even if you do cum early just eat her out and go for round two
Virgin (or extreme degenerate) detected.

>>34281588
your tongue shouldn't be on her actual vagina when you go down on her, genius

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>>34281622
Another (or same?) virgin detected.
>Not knowing how slimy and messy a pussy is when you eat it
>Not seeing a giant cum load spill out of a girl right after you put it in there
>Not knowing girls like the WHOLE pussy eaten (at least at first) before tongue abusing the 'fun bean'
Your new name is "glazed chin virgin". :P

>>34281730
did thread get posted on reddit or something?

>>34281730
Wait are worried about getting some of your cum on you? I though you were talking about eating it?

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Quality thread. Thank you NEET. Please use your neet bux and buy her some flowere. Also take a pic next time

>>34276800

I exchanged about a dozen words of broken English with an Indonesian girl and smashed.

>>34282102
were any those words amount of money?

>>34276250
>for the sixth time this weak
noice

Not as old, but I'm doing the same with my hispanic neighbor. She hardly knows any english but she's nice and cooks for me and stuff.

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>was fucking widowed, retired neighbour for years
>tfw she moved in with her sister across the country after her brother-in-law died
Even if I hadn't been banging her, I'd miss her. She's a lovely lady.

>>34277107
was her vagoo vertically horizontally shaped?

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>>34277107
>>tell her "you're very beautiful too" (she isn't)

fantastico

>>34284090
yeah, she's from the generation before they started getting the corrective surgery on that.

DUDE POST A PIC LOMA

>>34283743
I hate you so much with every fiber of my soul I Reeeee at you

>>34284648
>I hate you
I love you Anon

>>34284648
jealousy is what makes you hate

I have no words for how jealous I am, OP.

>>34277107
>"you fuck me?"

damn that's hot. I envy you

>>34277107
>couple times a day ever since
>couple times a day

you animal! how do you do it, do you just go to her place and say "we fucc now", or you spend all day at her place?

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>>34277268
neetbux/parents

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>>34277107
>"you fuck me?"
F

This thread. About something that never happened is still alive, well done op

>>34277268
Most neets do, despite the memes.

>>34276800
I fucked a jap girl who was dumb as a bag of rocks once. She just really wanted white dick and I was the only white guy there.

>>34276250
>Weak
>WEAK
> W E A K
Did her chinese side take over you OP?

>>34277875
Come to vancouver. There's a lot of rich old chinese whores who are here because their husbands want property here but work in china. You can make hundreds fucking these old bored horny bitches, just go hang out in slightly more expensive bars. My friend got his tuition paid from one of these old fucks.

>>34278554
>a 60yo chubby chinese abomination is a milf

Oh, you crazy americans.

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>tfw no chinese milf to fuck 6 times a WEAK