>find girl which doesn't mind me for being the way I

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>>34262878
How can you fuck this shit up, man. I understand you liked her, since you chased her away thinking you're a failure. But you only needed to try not be a failure when you were dating her.

Godammit, anon. If there's no bridges burned, try to get her back and move your life around.

>>34262878
toxic, fear-based mindset

it's your fault and you need to learn healthier behavior and thought patterns

give her a break and work on yourself and contact her later after you've made progress

>>34262906

i complicate things for myself needlessly. we don't live in the same country for starters. we only got to see each other for 10 days and it were the best 10 days in my almost 28 years of life.
my problems are that i find it difficult to be "myself" in a foreign language (english) and i also find it difficult to be myself because it feels like i lost every tiny bit of personality due to my "sadness". somehow i managed to be at least a bit charming and nice during those 10 days. enough for her to keep telling me how amazing i am and how much she loves me (she even told me at our goodbye).

>>34262918

>after you've made progress
i don't think i can make any progress. i was ready to die, but meeting her drove this weird thought into my head that the rest of my life could be like those 10 days. it obviously isn't possible, because there's more to life than just taking walks to get coffee and cuddling in bed and i can't cope with those things. i still want to die and it's the central conflict which is making this a hell

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>>34263009
Falling for the LDR.
You did that to yourself. If you dont take the initiative and make a move she will just move on. Maybe surprise her with a short trip telling her u cant live without her.. roasties seem to enjoy this kinda stuff

>>34263842

That is my plan. I am just hoping that she'll bear with me until then, because I cannot make it a surprise visit (never flown alone, will need her help to literally find her).
I just realized i'm so pathetic that i'm venting and sharing shitty personal problems on a website where the majority hates people in such a position but i don't know what else to do

>>34264205
Wtf r u retard? Dont you know where she lives? Get a taxi at airport or use other kind of public transportation to get to her /rent a car if u can.. if all fail message her only when ur in her town. If she trully likes u she'll drop everything to see you.
As for flying alone just deal with it if you really care about her and dont want to lose her think less about the details and more about the end result.
Seriously pisses me off seeing people like you going through the same mistakes ive done in past.

>>34264396

We've already made plans for me to visit, I'm just waiting for my passport.

> pisses me off seeing people like you going through the same mistakes ive done in past.
It seems to be a circle which cannot be fixed.

I am seriously worried now about her well-being. First I thought she didn't respond because she was angry, but now I'm not getting those "seen" things for sent messages. I can't call her phone, getting network error messages. I honestly don't know what to do now, but I also don't want to stir unneeded panic.

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>>34264753
Most likely she forgot her phone and it ran out of battery. Dont overthink stuff thats never a good thing with girls give it some time she'll see it xD (or she blocked you and ur fucked)

In my case she lived 2 countries away her father found out about us after we meet eachother for the 2nd time and made her cut all kinds of contact with me (he had serious control issues and was a bit of an alcoholic so she didnt do anything) after a couple weeks of no contact with her i was devastated and out of nowhere i got a message on Facebook from a friend of hers giving me her number and that she was going to call me. The next day we talked on phone and things didnt go so well. Couple days after that i said fuck it bought last min plane ticket and when i arrived to her country messaged her friend to call me when she was with her at college. I went to her college to find out she had already moved on and was dating another dude and the reason she wanted to talk to me was so i would forget her.
Dont make same mistake and has hard has it sound or seem try to be with her if you think shes worth it.
Good luck anon

>>34265493

>said fuck it bought last min plane ticket and when i arrived to her country messaged her friend to call me when she was with her at college. I went to her college to find out she had already moved on and was dating another dude
Why would you do such an irrational thing? How old were you that her father still had control over her life?

No, I don't think she blocked me. I was again being insecure and annoying her with my constant insecurity complaining, but we did have a nice time before we went to bed. Usually we exchange plenty of emails and messages, but now she hasn't responded once and no indications of her seeing them. She was going to make an appointment with a psychologist to possibly get medication for her depression. I feel so helpless now. I don't think she did something stupid, but maybe she had an accident or something.

>>34262878
>Why would you do such an irrational thing?
We used to skype /phonecall/message everyday i just missed her to the point i couldnt care less about anything and thought if i can't get to her this way ill just do it physically
>How old were you that her father still had control over her life?
She was 18 i was 20 her parents divorced nd shes living with him (she was studying w/ him paying her fees and living with him _ basically he told her live under my roof follow my rules) he opposed to our relationship the moment she told him we meet online for the first time. Guess hes closed minded cant judge
>but maybe she had an accident or something.
Very unlikely has i said maybe she turned off cellphone nd forgot it somewhere nd still hasn't needed him so doesnt remember to check it don't sweat over that

>>34265779

Still, you should have called beforehand. I don't know where you're from and where she is, but such a thing can cost a small fortune and require a lot of preparation (visa stuff, I know from personal experience now). You basically placed everything on one card and got the worst possible scenario. She shouldn't have told her father that you met online if you had suspected him being so close-minded and conservative.
Either way, it sounds like she's kind of a coldhearted person, if she was able to just cut you out of her life like that. I know this is insensitive, but have you considered that as a filter which would "filter her out" as an unworthy partner? Ideally that would make the whole fact of losing her easier.

I just got a message from her and I'm so relieved. She just had another bad day and didn't leave her bed. This might have been the wakeup call I needed. I am determined to change now, if I can. I hope I can.

>>34265864
I wanted to surprise her considering we havent had a proper conversation prior to that phone call for like 2months so i just went for it without really thinking much.
We both live in europe so we dont need visa to travel to countries around us. Also had a part time job at the time and low cost flights already were a thing. She most likely used the other dude to forget about me and we never really got out relationship hidden considering we were phonecalling eachother and she told him without me knowing beforehand so cant really blame her.

If your gonna change do it for urself and not for her its best to always do things for urself and not for others has relationships nowadays aren't a lifetime thing and considering LDR vast majority goes kaput but hope you do fine and find happiness

>>34266029

Are you over her now? Do you resent her now for what she has done or do you blame yourself for not being good enough? Was she your first and only GF since then?

I am in a peculiar situation. What you said is all true, but I don't feel like a proper human being and I think I'm only making things worse for myself. Deep inside I know that it won't work out for reasons on my side, but I have never felt like this for someone. Maybe it's because it's my first time dealing with something like this. But I suspect it's because I'm a loser who found the best person out there and is too stupid to realize it.

>>34262878

>Are you over her now?
It was 1 year ago sometimes i do think about her but i try to just remind about our happy moments
Do you resent her now for what she has done or do you blame yourself for not being good enough?
Neither tbqh we started off being just friend and over the course of a year our relationship changed and thn it changed again. At the time i was devastated but time heals ig you learn from ur experiences and they help u build character i think
Was she your first and only GF since then?
Idk if its luck or not but i grew up with 2 sisters and 3 female cousins and pretty much they always help me meet their friends and make them interested in me (idk how desu) she was my last gf but ive had some before her at the moment its not something im looking for maybe some time in future i dont know

On ur situation only time will tell if ur relationship is important enough to either one of you "sacrifice" himself and decide fuck it this is the person i wanna wake up next to everyday (cheesy xD but something like that) or just realize we made so many good memories together but its time to each one of us move forward and create new memories with someone new
Only advice i can really give is never give up and always try ur best even if it hurts you in the end something good will come out from it

>>34266532

thank you for the reasonable words. for a moment i forgot we were on r9k

>>34266750
Haha np man. Not everyone on 4chan is here just to call OP a faggot xD
But ye really hope u get ur shit together and start walking on the right path to happiness