Give me some of your cringiest, and most embarrassing greentext

>>34253199
>be a faggot loser your whole life
>literally gay
>try hard to pretend to be normal
>horrible at it and come off like a retarded unlikeable dickhead
>finally lose touch will everyone who used to tolerate me
>finally come to the realization that .. ive been dead for years.

File: 0M9xW25.jpg (192KB, 1132x670px)

192KB, 1132x670px

>10th grade
>wear semi-tight sweatpants to school
>go through day fine
>day ends, everything's normal
>sit in the back of the bus
>fall asleep on bus ride home
>wake up right before i get off with the strongest fucking erection ive ever had
>have to get up and walk the entire aisle to get off of the bus
>seconds felt like hours
>could hear stacey and her friends saying "ew, his dick was hard wtf lmao, creep"

> give small college presentation
> use up my notes way too damn fast so I have tons of filler time
> didn't prepare for this anyway
> prezi was about electoral college because i thought i could be spicy by triggering bernout classmates (this was post-election)
> studder and sputter until the minimum time is up
> had a fucking pepe on the last slide with pro-trump rallyers in background

Awwtismic

>>34253382
>having a small dick
oregano

>>34253556
7x5.5 bb

>>34253678
>>>>>bb

I have a new story for you to add to this thread

File: 1427839980876.jpg (369KB, 1200x1599px)

369KB, 1200x1599px

>>34253382
I was the kid who wore thin excercise pants to high school every day. Everyone saw my small peepee poking through the fabric.


>TFW I remember

>>34254286
said the virgin :^)

oregano

File: 1468759312791.png (247KB, 570x668px)

247KB, 570x668px

>>34254423
You deserved the humiliation, failed normie

File: 147372167316.png (352KB, 600x600px)

352KB, 600x600px

>7th grade
>on a table with chads
>chad talking about what he's doing at the weekend
"Probably gonna have some people over and watch a few "adult movies""
>autistic me
"What, like Terminator and Robocop?"
"No, anon"
>table laughs
>i go red as a beetroot

>3 years old
>sitting in the car with father and sister
>see a bag of day old chicken nuggets that sat in the car for a whole day
>decide "wow i sure want some nuggets"
>sister sees me eating one
>"OMG ANON IS EATING OLD NUGGETS"
>dad asks me if i did it and say no
>he tells me if i ate it i would get cancer and die
>scarred for life
>forget about it when I reach junior high
>remember 20 years later

>>34254533
was chad fucking gay? I doubt girls at that age would want to do something like that, so I'm inclined to believe he was inviting guys over. they sat around in a circle and jerk each other?

>>34253199
>moved to new town
>no friends and in middleshcool hell
>they force kids to swim for gym
>im a pear looking freak kid with moobs
>life aint hard enough for me yet kid
>teacher yells for everyone to get out of the pool
>teacher sees me swim to the ladder stops the whole class calls me out.
>makes me try to get out of the pool with out the ladder.
>struggling my fat ass to get out of pool
>kids are laughing hard
>one chubby asian girl god bless her heart cheers me on.
>i finally manage to get my fat ass on to dry land.
>kids dont let it go for a few weeks.

Luckily i had some thick skin but fuck was i pissed realising that teacher literally made me look like a fucking ass for no reason. Im a passive guy but damn i wish i would told that fucker to fuck off. I was also to young to appreciate the chubby asian girls positivity i never really spoke to her and i should have been friends with her after that...

>>34254613
Possibly.

I had a friend in college who would invite his friend over and have something called a "wank battle". They would both sit there in front of each other and jerk off to see who would cum first.

He just dropped this into a conversation like it was completely ordinary and was shocked when I asked him to elaborate. He assumed everyone did it.

>college orientation
>the entire class is inside a gymnasium
>thousands of kids
>organiser tells everyone to put either our left or right hands up
>I put my right hand up
>then she tells us to get into a group with 2 other people with the same hand up
>go up to 2 guys with their right hands up
>"hey, so we all have our right hands up, I guess we can make a group"
>they flat out ignore me and walk past me
>panic and can't find anyone else with their right hand up
>then the presenter says to sit down if you've found a group
>everyone sits down
>I sit down because I don't want to stand out
>spend the next half hour watching people do group activities hoping I'm not noticed
>the most akward I've felt in my entire life
>eventually someone notices me and offers to let me join her group
>do so
>the last half hour of group activities ends up being awkward because the group I joined has 4 people now
>they all just looked annoyed with me

>>34254673
its common knowledge chads do and get away with really gay shit.

>be me
>be 12
>constantly made fun of and called gay
>not actually gay just passive
>decide to convince them how not gay I am by asking out literally every girl
>every single one says no
>jokes on them I was gay anyway

File: 1481603297967.jpg (111KB, 558x515px)

111KB, 558x515px

>Be me
>Be 13
>Freshman orientation for High School
>Wear sandals to it
>Everyone stands in the bleachers
>teachers tell us how to not be faggots
>call us down row by row
>think I hear my row's called over the shouting
>sandal's lip snags on bleacher in front of me
>trip
>go sliding down three rows of bleachers
>in front of ~500 students
>break my toe
>my row wasn't even called

>>34254673
he was pretending to be shocked because he wanted to suck you off. he was testing the waters.

>>34253382
>not doing the waistband tuck