Anyone else ever cry when they think about their mom dying?

>>34250930
Really? I'm waiting for mine to pass. Need to kill myself already

>>34251352
I literally have no one else irl

Do you have other people irl you would miss?

When I was in highschool I used to cry over that but now I'm dead inside. Would do >>34251352
once she dies.

You faggots don't even know.

This is just the tutorial level.

I had to pull the life support on my mother.
I pulled the only thing keeping my mom alive.

Wait until you're in my shoes. No matter how depressed you are now, multiply that by 50 and you're just scratching the surface of the agony I endured.

What I can say is, cherish the time with mom while you can.

I don't cry, but it's horrible to think about. I love them but I have trouble getting close to them and I know they won't always be around. The light in my life permanently dimmed a little when my grandma died, I'm sure my parents will be worse.

>>34251352
Hey look it's me.

She's the only woman whose ever loved me and I couldn't kill myself while she's alive, it'd literally kill her.

>>34251534
as someone who actually killed her mother

fuck you

>>34251493
I don't mean this to sound rude, anon. I really don't. But how do you live with yourself? What keeps you going?

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>>34251406
No i dont. You should probably cherish the time you have now if you're so scared of it. When was the last time you two hung out?

>>34251493
Sorry. Sounded like you loved her very much

>>34251559
i'm blessed enough to have a dream. if i lose that i kill myself but it seems that i might actually be able to reach it

it all depends on me doing well in school from here on out.

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My mom died 2 months ago of a heroin overdose and I cried for a long time. Last time I saw her I was only like 4 or something. Still hit me pretty hard. The worst thing is I didn't even get to go to the funeral because noone told me until it was over.

>>34250930
>>34251503

Exactly this, minus the grandmother bit. It fills my being with dread and sadness thinking about my mom not being here anymore, and the worst part is the 3 of us (dad mom and I) have been drifting apart and a big part of it is me. I don't know how to fix it

>in 21days, i turn 27
>in 37days, it will be the 10th ani of the death of my ex-gf
>in 59days, my irl bro and last irl friend turn 25
>have not seen irl friend since 2012
>parents and people who are above age 50 will be dead within 23years
>in 33years, i will be 60
>in 23 years, i will be 50
>in 13years, i will be 40

26yo couch potato neet.

>>34251493
Fuck man I'm crying again thinking about that I'm so sorry

>>34251585
I'm trying to cherish it but I'm not doing a good enough job at it.
I still live together with her now
I feel like I am failing her not being a good son


>>34251636
What is your dream anon

>>34251691
Do you at least have someone in your life who you love right now I hope you do anon

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tfw barely got to know my mom and then she died when I was in highschool

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>Love my mom
>Waiting on her to die so I can kill myself

Worst part is she's a healthy woman who will probably live for another 20 years FUCK GODDAMNIT SHIT AHHHHH LET ME DIE ALREADY

>>34251795
my dream is to work in japan, so basically my life from here on out is

>get bachelor's degree
>learn an entirely new language
>move to another country and re-learn society all over again, except now i'm a minority so life is harder
>get a significant other and marry them

it's a dream that's going to keep me very occupied and very very busy for these next 3 years. i don't have time for games anymore

it's the only thing keeping me from killing myself. but i can feel a future waiting for me, so i'm going to give it my all and go all for it

>>34251971
I hope you know what you are getting yourself into anon

Japan isn't like the animes the work culture there is insane super long days you literally live to work there

>>34252014

That's for the natives, the baka gaijin are expected to live as they usually do, from what I've heard

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>>34252014
yeah i know what i'm getting into. i'm already internet friends with some japanese guys and girls and one of them even sent me a present 2 days ago to "celebrate my college entrance", which is apparantly a thing people do in japan (pic related)

i figure if there's meaning in me being friends with them, that might be the Bible I need to fix my life.

>>34252101
How do you make friends like that
I've had Internet "friends" but never on such a level

Where do you find them and how do you do it

>>34251552
>her
dude, stop, nows not the time

>>34250930
It's gonna happen. Just make sure you don't regret when she does.

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>>34250930
no,she died when I was a child

>>34252237
I will regret it either way can't help it

I wish I knew what having a loving mom was like. My mom verbally abused my brother and I since we were kids. Called me a fucking asshole when I was 10. Screamed at me and my brother everyday. I realized why my dad left her. I live with my dad now (I'm 19). I visit my mom sometimes but I hate her, she cheated on my dad and lied about it saying it was my dad who cheated. How can I love someone who terrified me for most of my childhood?

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>>34252185
>How do you make friends like that

Effort, and patience.

Most people don't spend a lot of attention on their friends, treating them as a way to waste time.

Since i'm hoping to move to japan, i spend a lot of time and patience on japanese friends i'm with because they might become a bridge into the country for me in the future.

I was extremely close to getting a japanese girl to have this kind of bond with me, really fucking close, but my japanese wasn't good enough to take it to the next level.

i'll do better next time.

but yeah, you could do it too.

pic related is what was in the package

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>>34251493
My dad has terminal cancer, is with morphine now, every second the machine put more. I wish be dead.

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>>34250930
My mother was the only thing I had as well. Was all alone and she has been the only person to love me in this world. Literally the only person who ever cared for me. Always looked out for me and wished the best. Loved me unconditionally, despite all my failures as a person.

Died 15 months ago, Oct 21st, about 6:40 pm or something, remember seeing it on my phone when I dropped it on the ground before my eyes completely blurred out with tears.

I had always said I would kill myself when she was gone. That I would wait so that her son didn't die before her. However when she did all I could do was think about how I failed her. How I needed to be a better person for her. She fucking suffered as a single mother in poverty to raise me.

I'm doing ok I guess, I was 17 then, 19 now. I got /fit/, learned how to weld with TIG, MIG, FCAW, and SMAW. Joined the army, went back to school and finished high school diploma, got a drivers license...got better with being social. However things are starting to go south again. I'm not happy. I haven't found anybody else to love me. I realize I'm probably not lovable outside of being a family member.

Know this OP. It's the worst feeling ever. I used to cry thinking about her dying. When she did though it was even worse. It will crush you, worst pain I've ever felt. I'm not over-exaggerating this. It's raw though, like it tears something out of you fast and quick. Hard to explain. It doesn't brood like it's hanging from a thread, or a limb still attached, but is rather cut clean and is gone forever.

I remember getting up to run in the morning and pushing myself as hard as I could. She never even got to see me become a man, to escape that sad piece of shit I was when she last saw me. Fuck man it really hurts it does.

>>34252425
I've known some people for 1 year now on the Internet but I never get that close to them

Nice gift btw hopefully one day I will also have such friends

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>>34252605
Here she is with my sister. She never got to see her much, they weren't close, only half siblings.

>>34252605
Teared me up

I'm sorry yours had to die that early

It's good that you haven't given up yet and actually bettered yourself I'm trying that now myself as well

Stay strong man and thanks for your story

>>34252699
Thanks bro. Love your mom with all your heart. They don't last forever. They're just giving all their best to you so that you can become all you can be.

>>34252605
I'm sorry to hear that anon. You'll always have a family as long as 4chan exists for what it is worth. We love you

Keep it up though, anon. She would be proud of you. Have you considered getting a pet?

That's always something that kepeps me going and why not having any pets right now feels so shitty

>>34252605
>>34252674
She looked so loving anon. I think she always knew the strength you had in yourself. Dispite how much of a late bloomer you were, she knew her baby. She's loving you somewhere still anon and she's proud.

>>34252835
But the pets also die ;_;

>>34252613
well japanese people percieve relationships a lot differently from the west
japanese friendships get really really close.

the only time you'll have a relationship this close in english is with a girlfriend, but in japanese any kind of friendship can be that close.

basically, my best advice for you, is that you have to go through "character development" with your friend. your friend has to see you grow from one person to another type of person, and that for some reason gets you closer. if your friend can see you as someone important that's how the ball gets rolling. that's how i do it anyway.

OP here guys
Thanks for sharing your stories in this thread this is why I like r9k

I'm gonna sleep now
Goodnight

>>34252897
Where did you find your Japanese friends?

And do you like talk English with them

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>>34252835
They killed my pup after she died so they could fuck around the house and figure out what they wanted.

Dog was like a brother to me...
Should have mentioned he was the other one that loved me.

>>34252850
I quit trying to be a sad cunt bro but the fact that I feel like I'm just trudging along with no reason is killing me.

>>34252605
A song for you anon. Letting it out every once and a while is good for the soul. Music can help catalyze the experience.

https://youtu.be/r6NLMSUtQzg

>>34250930
I hate my mom tb100%h, so no

>>34252957
i talk both. well, type

It all started about 3 years ago with me just copy+pasting basic japanese phrases i didn't understand.

let me see if i still have that text file....
OH, here it is
>http://pastebin.com/3yYcdtzB

I used that, and made friends, with a shitty list of 10 phrases i couldn't even understand.

damn. i have no idea how i pulled that off in retrospect.

>Where did you find
a japanese browser-game website
anyway, why do you ask? are you looking for some?

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>>34253028
That did it anon. That let loose a few tears. Thanks.

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>>34252880
But, think of all the good times you had with said pet. And you'll give it a good life instead that it wouldn't have had. Silver linings

>>34252975
I'm sorry to hear about your pupper, anon. You should consider adopting a pet. I think it's nice to have something to come home to like that and feel needed. Just my two cents, but as someone who grew up with cades, it's definitely hard without them right now. Felt my mood turn a LOT more negative.

>>34252975

Who killed your doggo?
I legitimately would beat someone nearly to death if they did that to either of mine.

Sorry to hear about all of that, anon. I have nothing uplifting to say, but I wish you the best, whatever that may be

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>My mother was Mean spirited,Obese, and Miserable.
>MOM,get it?
> If it were legal, I would've bashed her skull in with a 3 pound brass mallet.
> Didn't think of her until I read the thread.

>>34253219
Yes I'm looking for some thanks for telling me about it :)

>>34253572
no problem poster

I'm a longevity researcher and have no intention of allowing that to happen.