this happened like 6 or 7 months ago, im 18 now, dont ban me.

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you ask, "we can tell each other anything, right?"...
"right"
"i'm starting to feel ways about you"

that is a lie. you haven't just started. this is the kind of love that only a shitty teenager can spend years coming up with. maybe when your chemicals are all balanced in your 20s or 30s, you'll feel better, but right now your life is hers. its razor love homie and it cuts deep... needles to say she's shocked, but you wont touch needles because you've already gotten drunk enough to know that substance abuse is bad, mkay

anyways, there it goes, the sound of silence, she hasn't hung up or anything, you guess she cared enough about you to let it have an impact or something. four or five seconds feel like forever, every element in the periodic table is running through your bloodstream, feelings are fuckin AMPLIFIED and shit and you could just flatline right then and there. there you are, lying down in your teenage bed, a chunk of metal pressed against your face waiting for it to spit out some kind of sound.

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she speaks

"you know, i mean, like, we,"... she's just as scared to hurt me as i am
of being hurt.. "you're one of my closest friends, and i honestly love having you in my life and we've been through so much together and im just not looking for a relatio-"... you've already clued in, she doesn't feel like you do, so you stop her mid sentence with a weak ass "thats alright". but things wont be alright, you'll spend the next two hours on the phone telling her exactly how you feel and she'll spend the next two hours trying to justify staying friends, but you keep asking yourself if that's really possible. you both agree that its only awkward if we make it awkward. i mean, you'll just keep playing yourself. you tell her that you'll see her tomorrow, you hang up... you managed to keep some string of thought together for most of the night, but the second you hang up you just lie there for hours on end doing nothing. you're too defeated to cry about it, that will happen later. this is the loss edit, but there was nobody else in the panels except for yourself. class happens the next day, she's late, like always, and you find yourself worrying like you used to. are you still allowed to feel this way? she walks in, and sits next to you. you the first to speak. "sorry about last night, i--" and she interjects with a worried look... "do you hate me?".

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you probably read that there's five stages of grief... the first being denial. you tell her that you don't hate her, not because you don't, but because you feel as if you still have a chance. the next stage is anger, you'll try to convince yourself you hate her just to get her out of your mind. then comes bargaining, where you start texting each again at 3 in the morning to share more playlists, but it just doesnt feel the same. then there's depression, you just cry and vent to anyone who will listen. this will be the longest stage, it will suck for you and your friends who will put up with your whining. you stay home, she goes out, you start the self loathing even though you've done nothing wrong. you start getting anxious, and every little thing she does comes back to kick your heart in the dick. you start begging for the fifth stage, acceptance, but it eludes you. you just wait for the day someone at your side says "there, she is gone!" without feeling like losing it. you convince yourself you're not loved at all. you stop looking both ways before you cross the street.

tl;dr im a sad piece of shit

>>34246663
don't worry anon just because no-one replied, I am gonna read your story.

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damn bro catching some serious feels from your story

Sorry op..been in somewhat similar situation. You will probably be depressed for a few years..

>>34246663
>>34246685
>>34246742
>>34246769
So much text just to say you wanted to be with your friend and she rejected you?
Hope you learned your lesson though, dont have female friends. Thats my strict rule so i never get into these kind of situations.
Youll get rejected multiple times in the future friend, and then even when youre not rejected, when you actually get in a relationship and develop feelings, she might leave you, tough life.

Damn, I came here to shitpost after work and O.P. gave me the feels.

>>34246663
>im 18 now

I'm much, much older, young anon. I have kids older than you.

I know the hurt, the feels, they weigh heavy on you.

Time will heal you. I know it sounds like bullshit now, but it will. I'm not telling you that you will forget the feels because you won't. I know I have not. But you can go on in life. I hope someday you meet another who knows your feels and who won't hurt you, but between now and then be cautious with your heart, because the odds are that you will meet others who can hurt you if you let yourself get involved with love where it's not reciprocal.

Some advice from a truly old man: ask up front if a relationship is in the cards when you meet someone you like. With that in mind you can let the relationship develop into whatever it will be.

And whatever you do, don't get married just because you think it will solve being a lonely robot. I'm not going to pollute this post with my story but I'll say that allowing myself to do that made a huge part of my life really shitty.

Don't ever give up, anons. It can get better.

>>34247591
OP here, yeah, i like to drag things on longer than they should be

and also, thats not entirely true, i have other female friends that i dont have feelings for, they're just regular homiez

>>34246663
just want to say i'm reading this. after a few years you'll suddenly realize that you don't care about it or her anymore. take care till then

>>34247627
Sooner or later youre gonna have a female friend youre gonna get emotionally attached to and then here we go round 2.

>>34247610
awww dude thanks so much. this is probably the most helpful thing i've read on r9k, and don't worry about "polluting this post", this post is trash anyway

its weird to think that there's actually robots with kids and lives and shit, thats crazy

>>34247688
That is why I (oldfag) gave the advice to ask up front.

Callum, don't be sad

>>34247725
not callum, try dommy :(
if callum is feeling anything like i do right now, tell him its gonna b alrite

>>34247715
Robothood and wizardy existed long before the interwebs gave rise to community.

Yeah, at 26 and desperate I married the first girl that came along and got her pregnant right away, a few years later we had another kid. I love my kids but it was hell being with their mom (who essentially abandoned them after we got divorced, shows her character). I stayed in the marriage for the kids and once they were old enough to be on their own I bailed.

Now I'm old and I met an anonnette who was also a robot when she was younger. I hope she sticks around and if not I'll just keep on keeping on. What he hell else can I do?

>>34247861
aw man, bummer that it didnt work out with lady #1... a few girls have tried to come on to me but i made the point of not investing as much for that reason. im glad that you love your kids, it would suck if both of their parents were like their mother.

im heading to uni to become a nurse, hopefully i can work on myself or some shit like that. i wish all the best for you and the new annonette, just dont lose your steam old man

>>34246663
I am literally going through that bullshit, only for me, it's way worse.
>be russian
>move to Germany at age 10
>have 0 friends there, move twice
>regularly visit mom and russianbros on holidays
>fast forward to 17
>recently moved to a new school
>half-year in, a girl who you never noticed comes up to me and asks what music I like
>start hanging out with each other
>have lots in common
>slowly fall in love with her
>one day decide to gamble
>tell her about the way I feel in a cafe
>she replies with a simple "sorry"
>be prepared for rejection, tell her a shitty story from my childhood. the most fucked-up story of my life
>she opens up to me
>talks about the time where she thought she was really fat (blatant lie, she has a slim, sporty, but also curvy figure)
>it ends well
>as I go home by tram, I read some Dostoevsky just so that I don't feel as shitty
>time passes
>we remain next-to best friends
>I go to russia for summer holidays
>call her every other day by Skype
>we miss each other
>return
>parents aren't home
>invite her over
>have hands-down the best evening of my life, just the two of us
>go to bed together
>make out with her
>she took my first kiss
>a couple months later
>relationship starts getting worse
>I am insecure, lash out on her, but she is always there for me

>>34248395
>18th birthday party this September
>invite all people in Germany who I consider friends
>as the party goes on, they tend to keep to themselves
>I'm all alone
>being a moron that I am, decide to drink to feel numb.
>big mistake
>as people told me, I've been an asshole to everyone
>it culminates in me throwing up
>a couple days later
>I apologize in front of everybody
>most people are not convinced
>she tells me it's ok, just gotta keep distance
>a week later, invite her for a coffee
>there, she reiterates the same thing
>for months, I've been asking her to go out or call me
>big, big mistake
>she had given up on me
>talk to other female friend about it
>we have no feelings towards each other, we can just relate well
>our bond grows stronger
>until one day, she tells me that our friendship is over
>I just wasn't changing fast enough

So here I am. My best German friend wants to have nothing to do with me. By now, two of my closest friends gave up on me. The only thing that propulses me now is self-hatred. But I know, the second I stop concentrating on this hate, I will start thinking. And this is what I am scared of the most.

>>34248421
Crap, I forgot the best part. Other than those two, I never had any other friends here. So, over the course of a year and a half, I've gained friends only to loose them later on. Now I am almost completely alone.

>>34248421
I can be ur friend anon if u feeling lonely

>>34246685
This just fucking happened to me 3 days ago.

>>34250296
sorry mate, it aint fun innit