My dad is most likely going to die in the next 6 months Usually

>>34240870
>CONT
I got a casual job the other day and its the first time in years he seemed happy although it was short lived. Honestly the only happy memories I have of my father is the fact he brought me up on video games and we would always play together, to this day he still spends all his time playing and so do I. I think I will struggle a lot playing video games as they will remind me of him.

I'm honestly not sure wether to be glad that he will die or not, I know that in general you should never be happy about a family member passing away but I often see these things differently. Any time anything bad happens around me instead of being depressed often I am quite excited as its finally an eventful thing happening but I'm not sure what to think of this.

>>34240870

Hey anon, that's good. That means you have a heart buried underneath it all, you're still alive somewhere deep down there.

Just cry man, get yourself a towel and unleash. Be kind to your dad in his final moments, say everything you need to say. reflect on your childhood and what he taught you, even a bad father you can learn things from. good luck anon

>>34240870
>>34240957
>CONT
Its not like I can be glad about inheriting anything either, he has no money, rents and has nothing of worth to leave me really. I don't really have that much to be sad about either considering I will no longer be emotionally abused by him at every point. I wont even truly be missing a father figure as he's not really one to begin with. His constant emotional blackmail and anger towards me will be gone, but his minimal presence in my life overall will also be gone.

I am honestly just typing this all out to try to make sense of it to myself but I'm really not getting much out of it. A life changing event that I could wish for yet now its finally here I don't know what to think or what to feel, I'm not sure wether I should try to stop him and force him to take the medication/force him into hospital or if I should just let things run their course and let him die. I'm not sure if I would regret letting him die as much as I would regret letting him live.

>>34241061
I haven't cried since I was 16 in the bathroom crying about tfw no gf. I don't think I will cry about this, I am quite emotionless about the whole thing. I have less been sad and more just provoked into a whole lot of thoughts running through my head. In all honesty I guess you could say it is kind of like I am 16 crying again because this is exactly how I felt then.

>>34241121

When your parents are gone I can only imagine isolation sinking its fangs in on a whole other level. Our parents have always been around but when they're gone and we're the adults and it's just us left in the world. Man that's got to be a crushing feeling.

I'm kind of like you, just monotone about everything, but I'm really not sure how I'd react if my parents were gone. I would just try to give them their best final moments possible.

>>34240870
Unless you're a complete sociopath, it's really hard to ignore parental bonds. Even if you hate their guts, they're still your parents, and there's no avoiding that.

My father actually did die a couple years ago. He was suffering from depression and actually went through with hanging himself. I hated him. He was insufferable to live with, somewhat emotionally abusive, and just overall made my life miserable while I was living with him. Instead of actually being helpful as a father, he just left me to my own devices and then got angry at ME when I hadn't learned how to be a motivated individual with a work ethic. Any time he tried to 'help' it wasn't really useful. Nothing I ever did was good enough for him. Eventually he kicked me out, and I went to stay with other family. As far as inheritance goes, I didn't get much either, since he sold most of his valuables in his final year because he couldn't make ends meet, and his life insurance money went to my mom.

But I digress. I did cry after he died. It was almost involuntary. But I haven't forgiven him for what he did before he died, and I doubt I will. I was fully prepared to cut him out of my life. I still was filled with grief. But it was a lot easier for me to move on.