I had a brief phase (14-15) where I unironically believed I was

>>34235029
lets lern about bald egals
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEgEIEfSuvU

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>>34235029
i love bald eagles

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>>34235081
eagels

>>34235058
My overactive imagination ran wild, and I conjured up autistic "past life memories". Even then I was desperate for a gf. A bald eagle gf. Fuck I even had explicit dreams. I wish my parents would have beat it out of me.

>>34235081
>>34235109
I also used to get really triggered when people would associate bald eagles with the United States, or super impose them on the American flag. "Waaah, there's more to them than that!" How the fuck would I know that? By watching eagle nest cams designed for old women who can't go outside to do their own Bird watching. I watched those live streams religiously. I pretty much thought I was an eagle expert. Fuck I hate acknowledging this, it's all coming back k to me now.

>>34235118
you deserve that bald eagle gf. don't give up genetics have come a long way and can only go further

>>34235156
It wasn't "anthro" either. I seriously believed that I had the spirit of a reincarnated bald eagle, and in the past I had an eagle gf. Talking to a UK animal fetishist who also believed he was a reincarnated Macaw didn't help, I was practically brainwashed.

At the time I was also talking with an Australian 16 year old who humored me in believing my "past life memories" of eagle parenthood and fucking were in fact real. Together, the Australian and the Englishman fueled my disgusting fire of religious pseudozoophilia. It took me years to fully pull out of that mess.

Anyone else go through any disturbing phases?

>>34235182
Saying that I was brainwashed gives off the impression that it was in no way my fault, so somewhat inaccurate. To be truthful, I have no real idea what was going through my mind every time I jerked off to what I believed were romantic past life memories. That part of my life is lost to time. Now I've moved on and become a bit better. Not horrible like before, but bland and grey. I'm a wagie, I work I come home and go to bed. Browse r9k on my off time. I don't even play vidya anymore and my family doesn't care much for me.

Well, at least you don't have any friends around that would remind you of this phase!

>>34235399
That is true. I'm only remembering now because something otherkin related came up in a YouTube automatically generated playlist. Now I'm just trying to figure out what I want my life to be about. I don't qualify for NEETbux, I work a construction job but that's not what I really want to do. Since I was a very young child I've wanted to work a veterinary job, but considering my borderline zoophilic background that seems like it'd be contradictory, like I'm not good enough. It's as if that year and a half of my past has forever damaged me. So I guess I'll continue to work my dead end job and find joy in talking with my boss over lunchbreak, the only person who I believe still sincerely cares about me. Maybe someday I'll commit suicide, or something even better. But that is all up in the air. Currently I wouldn't have the guts to do anything I'd know would ultimately result in my death, even though I don't have much to live for anyway.

This is the kind of material that I used to watch for fun and pleasure. Looking at it now fills me not with ecstasy, but with horrible anger. If only my past self was alive today so I could beat some sense into him and end that bullshit before it could really do damage. Obviously this video wasn't around at the time, but it was this sort of thing. I used to pause certain moments of nature documentaries and play them back. Depraved shit. I was to take my rage out on something or someone, not myself though, I'm too much of a pussy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GuT69iTTWM

Ive come to realize that fandoms, vidya, sports, tv. . . All of these things are nothing more than a modern variation of bread and circus. Something to keep the population docile and hedonistic. The more degenerate the better, that's why zoophilia, homosexuality and pedophilia are pushed as much as they are. I was a pawn.

This is bizarre in a fascinating sort of way, OP, but what I don't understand is why you feel so much anger and shame about it. I mean, yeah, it's weird and cringey, but so what? Not worse than people who were bronies and masturbated to cartoon ponies, or weirdo diaper fetishists, or any number of other strange kinks. You did nothing wrong and you hurt no one, so where's the harm?

>>34235773
I don't know anon. Maybe I am just beating myself up. I did end up trying to expose others for illegal zoophilia, and volunteered at a humane society for awhile, so maybe I just feel like a bit of a hypocrite since I could have ended up just like them. I'm eternally grateful to God (if he exists) for helping me pull out of the death spiral.

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>>34235029
How did you break out of it? Did you generally lost interest or did you eventually realize it was retarded?


>>34235258
Not necessarily disturbing.
I have a similar (equally as bad if not worse) history of believing silly shit, from the age of 12-15 I believed in
>Psi powers
>Psychokinesis (all the other -kinesis)
>Astral Projection/OBE
>Believed in werewolves and that I could become one (I think this was the foundation of what would later become my biggest fetish)
>Cryptids
And when I stopped believing in those it led to
>Greys/Aliens
>Ghosts
>Government conspiracies (I watched Alex Jones videos)

>>34235773
>Not worse than people who were bronies and masturbated to cartoon ponies, or weirdo diaper fetishists, or any number of other strange kinks
I don't feel bad about these things, I don't feel bad I wrote a story about Anon being turned into Rarity's diaper or ERP numerous times about a whole wide range of fetishes.

I don't feel bad because I was completely aware that the moment I started fapping to Skitterpone's diaper TF pic is the moment I was no better than the werediaper guy.

>>34235854
Eventually I started to become critical of otherkin, it didn't take me long to realize how bullshit it was. I even remember while I was still into it, reassuring myself that it would be that way forever. That I had discovered the truth, and that when I died I would reincarnated once again as a bald eagle.

That's interesting, I also used to believe in astral projection, the law of attraction, and chakras, and all sorts of new age hippy shit. That can be attributed to my mother, since she told me all those things were the way the world works since throughout my childhood. I remember being puzzled when the law of attraction didn't work for me as I thought it should have. To this day my mom believes she's a reincarnated alien, so she could be seen as an enabling force in my bald eagle thing.

>>34235029

This is my first time here in 4chan and I gotta say you all sound like mental cases. No wonder no one takes the "trans community" seriously. It's populated by nothing but delusional, mentally retarded man-children. Your parents have failed you utterly.

>>34235852
'Death spiral' seems like a bit of an overstatement. It sounds like you judge yourself very harshly, and you'd probably be a lot happier if you were kinder and more accepting of yourself. I suppose that's something most of us struggle with, though.

>>34235854
All I can think of is this line: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTA-79DBj-A#t=20s

>>34235933
We live in an age where everything is thought of as subjective, including gender and species. Our media is at least partially to blame, as well as the parents of affected individuals for coddling them.

>>34235933
>4chan
>trans community
Well rused

>>34235948
Perhaps I could have chosen softer wording, but I can't help but be aggressively against what I know to be wrong.

The entire time I had believed that I was a male eagle, complete with explicit and perverted fantasies that I thought were 'beautiful'. Every time I'd go to sleep at night I'd imagine I was in a nest (complete with heated up bags of rice to simulate "eggs" that I put under my chest while I laid on my stomach). I went all out, that was my life for a little over a year. I listened to internet past live regressions and imagined these totally detailed fight/hunt/sex fantasies, and since it was a past life regression with lots of positive feedback, I instantly took it as legit, and not my imagination.

I really, really wanted to be a vampire. I still kind of do. I would obsess over anything vampire related, especially vampire the masquerade bloodlines.

I'm mostly over it now.

>>34236119
They were really prevalent in the otherkin community. I remember a couple, they were really vain assholes.

>>34236119
>especially vampire the masquerade bloodlines.


good taste my negro.

>>34235258
I think it's chuunibyou.

>>34235981
>We live in an age where everything is thought of as subjective, including gender and species.

The "we" in that sentence applies to less than 1% of the most progressive societies on earth. It's nil everywhere else. There is no "age" of subjectivity that is influencing people in inordinate numbers to be poodle-kins. It's just the latest flavour of self-indulgent decadence and stupidity in our species' history that will soon vanish like the fad it is.