So far I think I've kept myself going with the vague hope

I love coming to this board just to laugh at losers like this
just kill yourself already. nobody, not even your own family cares about you lol

Anon, it sounds to me like you maybe should look into someone to talk to, like a therapist. I finally got one, and it helps a lot. Just having someone to listen and to talk through your problems with really helps. I love you, and you can always talk to me.

>>34226398
All I can is be ready when your chance do comes.
Make sure you have money, a job, are physically fit and healthy. There is nothing worse than when you actually find somebody but you destroy the relationship because you weren't prepared. Keep prepared my friend. It will happen..somehow it will.

That's why every time I'm scared to do something these days I just think "you're already dead, who cares?" My life doesn't mean much to me anymore (no edge) and I stopped caring what people think of me. I'm just waiting to die at this point.

>>34226628

What the fuck is a therapist going to do? Teleport me back in time? Not only did we miss out on those important years, we never got the EXPERIENCE which makes things 10x worse.

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It's too late boyos. Just take the suicide pill.

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>>34226698

He means it can make you feel better to talk your feelings out. That's actually why I made this thread: not to get responses, I don't give a shit what you people think; sometimes I just need to write my thoughts down and put them out somewhere, and this shitty board is the best place I know to do that. I'm not going to pay for a therapist when I can get something of the same effect by posting on 4chan though, those people are literally paid to just sit and listen to other people's bullshit. Not that I have the money for it anyway.

The shitty thing is that until recently I hadn't even been back to /r9k/ since moot deleted it. That coincided with my going to college and for a time it felt like things were getting better; I was getting out into the world, experiencing things, becoming some semblance of a functioning human. But in the end nothing changes and I'm right back where I started, feeling the same feelings and having gotten nothing for my trouble except countless lonely nights. It's that futility that I can't stand. If I'm back on this shitty board after everything I've been through, what the hell hope do I have of finally being saved?