I think I found happiness I jus stopped feeling reasons to be

>>34165967
i should stop coming on here too. its depressing. i dont know any other good sites though, reddit is a circle jerk.

>>34165978
I stopped coming because of boredom I jus want someone to talk to about this and talk and maybe help some people or have an argument

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>I think I found happiness I jus stopped feeling reasons to be suicidal.
>I haven't been on /r9k/ in a long time too
oaewhueoa

>>34166037
The happiness was recent, I havent been on /r9k/ in over a year now

>>34166069
Great, tell me your secret.

>>34166223
tell me why youre sad first

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>>34166270
>sigh
Alright, I'll try to keep it short.
My childhood was perfect, almost movie-like, so I couldn't wait for my teens and beyond.
>be 13
>go insane for whatever reason
>pull out my hair and powerwash my skin daily for atleast 4 hours, wanna ''be pure'', get the alien microchips out
You're getting the picture. Insane. You don't wanna see what years of soap does to skin. But everyone else had to. Everyone I knew. The feeling of making them have to see me like that is one that never left. Like having fallen from heaven to hell. Almost literally in my definition of 'em.
This lasts my entire teen years
>be me, 22 today
My skin has healed pretty much, but my hair (eyebrows, eyelashes) are nowhere near what they would've been.
''I don't look like I'm supposed to'' is the sentence I mumble to myself around 100 times a day.
>haven't lived my teens
>haven't known teen love, teen friendships, teen joy
And the best part
>mutilate my face for life
Looking in a mirror is literal torture. I still can't believe it. It's been over 10 years and I still expect to wake up as my 12 year old self. This nightmare is just so surreal.
I'm sure this is the most overdramatic thing you've ever read.
(I'm regretting typing the story at this point, but I'm finishing this mess)
As a kid I used to look up to my future-self.
>''Wow, what a guy. He's so cool, it's gonna be great.''
And the best part is, that would've been me. I was fucking destined to be that guy, it was a sure thing, I had it all. But I squandered it.
Myself.
And all for nothing.
And that's everything I have to look forward to now.
Nothing.
The way I used to look forward to the future, is the way I look back on the past now. I'm not living life anymore, since I don't want any more memories created in this timeline. I just wanna remember my childhood, forever.
There really is no second chance at life. A fact almost unfathomable to me.
>Alright, I'll try to keep it short.
Sorry.
Why were you sad?

>>34166738
Thats OK. I read the entire story. Im srry this happened to you but its over now and youre gonna have better things coming for you in the future. This must suck but sooner or later youll get completely over it. I dont see a reason for you to kill yourself and you may be sad now but good things are coming. Im 19 and life was "horrible" for me because I dont even fucking remember. I wanted to kill myself but I dont have that mindset anymore. I keep thinking of reasons and keep believing "thats not a reason to kill yourself", "no girlfriend", at this point I dont want one because I had a relationship before and they seem like a waste of time honestly I derive little joy from them so I dont see them as something good anymore, I dont connect with anyone and Im not sad. then theres a little voice saying "you are a worthless retard" and honestly I dont care if Im worthless at all and the retard part doesnt even seem true. Even if it was I dont think it rlly effects my life at all if I dont need people. I think I was angry because I jealous everyone else was getting some and I wasnt and now I dont care about getting some anymore. Srry about what happened to you but if you want my dumb advice I recommend not seeing the good in things you cant have.

>>34167257
Don't be sorry for me mate, I did it to myself, ridding me of all pity right.
>I recommend not seeing the good in things you cant have
Believe it or not, but this opened up a new strange perspective I really needed. I don't know what to say so I won't elaborate, but you might be wiser than you think.
Go to sleep knowing you may have helped someone today. Even if it's just a little bit.

>>34167564
Alright youre welcome