How often do you guys think about suicide? I've thought

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>tfw nobody responds to your suicide thread

I'd say six months out of the year I'm almost constantly thinking about suicide. In the other six I manage to trick myself into believing I can beat depression, but it all comes tumbling down after a couple weeks and I'm back to my default fucked mental state. Closest I've ever come to doing it was when I was riding my bike near a train track with the train coming my way head on. I pussied out at the last second. It's scary to think about.

>>34132333

I can relate to that, but the cycle is much, much shorter than 6 months. It's more like a month of depression then I will have a day or two of hope where I think I can win and I am scared shitless of the thoughts I had. Then I fall back into the trap of feeling worthless.

>>34132372
I get it the same way pretty much. It's not six consecutive months, but a series of short suicidal episodes that equal a month in total. The worst part of it all is that the moment I start feeling good about myself I know a return to depression is inevitable. The thought is unavoidable and it slowly eats away at my newfound sense of self-confidence until it's gone.

>>34132647

It's an awful feeling. I'm poor so I can't afford meds or therapy. I don't know what I'm holding onto, what I'm waiting for.

>>34132128
Hourly, maybe even every few minutes. Recently I started planning more and considering what to do. I thought I had more time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmQC0alXSGU

Actively think about it? Not often. I don't really think about things, nor do I experience emotions. I'm not too opposed to dying, but I'm not actively suicidal, either.

almost daily. I have made attempts before and now have a 14cm scar on my arm. meds and psychs dont work. maybe there is no hope for the hopeless? who knows anon. but what I do know is that I am content for where I am, as in I am happy hitting reset.

>>34132333
>In the other six I manage to trick myself into believing I can beat depression, but it all comes tumbling down after a couple weeks and I'm back to my default fucked mental state
>>34132647
>he thought is unavoidable and it slowly eats away at my newfound sense of self-confidence until it's gone.
Fuck

my last major stint was probably started 2 christmas's ago and went on for several months, that was probably the closest i've come, but ive come to find out that despite my almost-romanticized notion of suicide, the possibility of nonexistence is terrifying to me.
recently tho, ive been thinking about it again, and i imagined putting my dads shotgun to my head and pulling the trigger and that gave me a little panic, so i'll probably never get around to it and keep it as a daydream

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No 'cause suicide's for pussies. Read this book

>>34133757

Thanks man, I hope it works for me

>>34132128
Ibthink about it Every waking minute honestly