I just... I want it to stop, man. I don't want to be anything

Get the fuck to a psychiatrist. It sounds like you're doing better than most of us are. The right drug might snap your brain into order

>>34125073
I already take anti psychotics for Schizophrenia.

They've robbed me of creativity and the spark of joy in life. If I have no creativity, I literally have nothing (and even then, I've always been a mediocre writer).

>I literally have nothing
Except a gf, a loving home and good friends.

>>34125158
And in spite of all of that, I still wanna suck start a 12 gauge. I don't know man. I know I have it pretty good, but these things don't bring me happiness.

Maybe I take them for granted. I don't know. Does it matter? We're all gonna die.

>>34125232
I was just being an ass anon.

I agree that existence is shit and is in no way worth any effort. Day after day, it's the same stuff, a whole bunch of petty shit.
I just don't get what people see in any of it.

Does the fact that nothing brings you happiness frustrate you? I mean if we're all gonna die in the end why not just be apathetic to it all and ride it out, instead of focusing on how much everything sucks?

If you feel that life is shit you have expectations hidden of how life should be

>>34125369
It's just that I never want to do any of the stuff I do. It's like I'm forcing myself to exist and I hate every minute of it.

I could just shut down and stoically take life as it comes, man, but it's like I'm being led by a leash off the cliff.

>I just don't get what people see in any of it.

I thought I saw beauty and love and opportunity, but now all I see is the bad.

>>34125434
Where would I be getting those expectations from?

>>34125443
Maybe there's a reason why you force yourself?

As for leash thing, there's no point fighting against life, no one really has control they just try to make the most of what they got.

Although I suppose suicide would be a successful defiance of life but there's no guarantee that you won't be recreated a gorillian years later to suffer again.

I'd say to stop trying to defy life or coming up with reasons to live and just do it. Otherwise I'm not really sure what else you could do.

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67KB, 918x622px

>>34125037
stop lying.
once you do this you will stop hating yourself.
I was the same way. look into the Tao

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14KB, 200x252px

there is no shame in a suicide, but it still is a waste

- Give up all hope
- Submit to your life as is
- Do exhausting work
- Forget yourself
- Be kind

It's not gonna be alright, but if you persist, you will be stronger in time.

how do you have a girlfriend with such pessimist self destructive attitude?
i find it absurd

>>34125232
>And in spite of all of that, I still wanna suck start a 12 gauge. I don't know man.

you will know once your family gf and friends leave you.
either you toughen up now and stop being a bitch or face the music later

>>34126071
this. i feel like part of the reason i am "no gf" is because I'm so negative all the time. yet here comes OP, who is psychotic and suicidal, yet has a GF

>>34126998
>>34126071

he's attractive and/or has money

not difficult to understand