What was the closest you ever were to having sex, /r9k/? Greentext

Never.

Maybe once i was baked as fuck and was fapping while listening to beethoven 9 and i thought i was fucking a physical form of the music cause it felt so good during the climax.

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>>34100611
Viddy well, little brother. Viddy well.

Probably having sex desu friend

>>34100747
I have fapped to all of beethovens symphonies. They r great to test the imaginative yet erotic mind.

>girl over from tinder in my first week of moving in on my own
>she's fat but whatever
>eat her out for a while
>go to fuck her
>dick not getting hard

Kill me right this second please. I'll send you the money for the gun.

>>34100167
If you want help I'm here to get you all laid :)

>>34100825
That sucks brofamalamorigional

I semi-hugged a girl once

Never even remotely close. I'm a dyke and I've watched qt Staceys changing in the locker room and that's it.

>>34100167
I high-fived a girl once, that's skin-to-skin contact my dude

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>>34100167
Fucked a walking red flag (looked kind of like pic related, not going to post actual pics of her) nearly daily and """"dated"""" her for about 8 months, until she ghosted me and just stopped replying to anything, stopped going to her usual hangouts, etc.

It doesn't get any easier after having sex, lads. Going from complete KHV robot, to getting it daily, back to being a complete robot, is actually probably more agonizing than not having it at all. At least before, I had accepted my fate and I didn't really know what I was missing out on - now it's just endless tfwnogf suffering.

>>34100167
Some girl gave me a handjob on the bus when I was 19.

That's it.

>>34100167
>have first kiss
>asks me if I want to do something more
>I say no

never really. there were two occasions where i was interacting with a girl and looking back i'm pretty sure i could have had sex with them if i'd played the cards right, but i didn't and it didn't get particularly close or in any sense physical at all.

>>34101118

I know, the lack of pussy is driving me mad. Fucked a grand total of one time, now I just want more but girls are stupid and flaky.

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>meet girl at college
>7/10
>study in the library
>likes me for some reason
>asks me back to her place
>need a shit bad
>like i've been literally been praying i don't shit myself for the last hour
>cry it off so i can go take a dump
>she looks disappointed
>don't want to shit at her place and stink the place out
>go back to the dorm and do a shit so large i legit busted the toilet
>don't hear from her for a couple of days
>check her snapchat and she's with chad

Probably would've ran a mile when she saw my tiny dick anyway

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>qt girl i met on tinder comes over to my apartment
>nervous as fuck but we just smoke weed and chill
>shes indicating she want the dick but i dont make any advances because im a pussy
>after about an hour, she gets up, says she has errands to run and calls a uber back home
>try to give her a goodbye hug and she reluctantly dodges me
>send her a text later that night asking if she got home safe
>no response

I will die alone.

>>34100825
stop watching porn and fapping 5 days prior to your sexual encounters.

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>be 18
>meet this girl through some friends
>doesn't know im a major autist
>calls me one day inviting me to her place
>in her room
>her fucking dad comes in and introduces himself
>seriously out of my depth
>drink some whiskey and vodka
>she starts kissing me
>dick is diamonds
>her friend comes over
>we watch a movie
and I'm not shitting you I had an erection for the entire thing
>friend leaves to buy something
later learned this just meant she was giving us 20-30 minutes for sex
>she straddles me again
>starts kissing
>carry her to her bed
>get naked
>she spreads her legs
>about to put it in
>goes soft in a fucking nanosecond
>i start shaking due to adrenaline
>she doesn't say anything
>disappears into the bathroom
>I get dressed and go home
>later calls me asking what happened
>say I was embarrassed and thought she wanted me to leave
>says it happens sometimes and basically we would just try again 5-10 min later
>say "oh ok, well thanks for a great evening"
and I never contacted her again. she never told anyone and acted cool about it whenever we met through friends.

sucks because I kinda liked her, still a virgin tho.

>25
>Co worker invites to to her house to fuck
>brag on RnineK about how we're all gonna make it before going to her house
>go there
>anxious as fuck
>have a few shots to ease myslef
>we make out
>I eat her out
>dick not hard
>scared to take my pantsu off because little flacid pener
>she said she doesn't give head but licks the tip
>out of it by this point
>lay on my front as she massages my back
>finger her
>she supposedly cums
>helps me put on my cloth and walks me to my bus stop

She quit 2 weeks later and ghosted me since. Kind of sad not because of the lack of sex, but mainly because she connected. Guess I was a fool blfor being her rebounds rebound...

>>34100167
when I went out with some friends back in middle school I hugged a girl

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>>34101505
mate, if you're 25 and anxious about sex its time to give up.

>>34101549
Yeah, it was the first time a girl ever showed interest in me. I'm emotionally stunted.

Talked to a girl once, was totally hot, Desu.

Nah but seriously I've never even come close, never had any female friends irl and am still a KHV. I could maybe see a drunk roastie throwing herself onto me but I would never be in a scenario where I'm with a drunk girl or at a party.

How can I be expected to lose my virginity when I don't have any female friends and want to uphold my basic morals.

>8th grade
>have to dance
>touch a girl's arm
Nice.

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Ok here it goes

>sophomore year of uni
>at math club meeting
>freshman asian girl starts chatting me up
>she's like a 4/10, meh
>she starts talking to me a lot, I guess since we were sitting by each other and she didn't know anyone there
>after the meeting ends we walk out the building, it's late at night
>she's about to walk really far to her apartment in the dark
>being the beta faggot that I am, I offer to walk with her back there so she's not alone
>we talk some more on the way there, at which point we are really hitting it off
>when we get there, she says in a suggestive voice "oh anon, we've walked so far, you must be thirsty. wanna come inside and get something to drink"
>I tell her no, I'm fine, and my mom has dinner waiting for me at home
>"oh, uh...ok thats cool"

I basically just acted like too much of a gentlemen and accidentally almost had a sexual encounter.

Lesson learned: don't be nice to unattractive women.

>>34102759
I 100% hope you never made it, anon.

>>34100167
>be on OKC
>decide to search for hook ups for fun
>get messaged by this black girl
>apparently want fuck
>live with parents so my place is out
>didn't want to use her place
>delete conversation, block her, pretend that never happened
I was actually looking into hourly motels for a bit before my better judgment(?) got the better of me.

>Middle school
>Girl is all over me
>"Hey anon have you played Slenderman? It's soooo scary!"
>"Yeah I guess"
>"Can you come over and play it with me? My parents won't be home and I'm too scared to do it alone"
>"But it's a single player game"
>She asked me out years later and I still said no. I have more stories where I'm dense as fuck

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Does this count?

originalllll commennttt

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>>34101487
Holy shit anon, that was physically painful to read. I'm so sorry for you dude. Hopefully you will pull through and talk to her again.

>>34102848

You made the right decision, her nigger buddies would have jumped you

>>34102901
Please share, these are my favorites (well actually my fetish, I like to think that they are me and I am only like this because I was oblivious)

>>34102936
Did the piercings come with it or did you pierce it yourself?

>>34101118
Are you me? The girl I was fucking with a few months did the exact same shit. I later found out she was cheating on me and got pregnant

She's the only girl I've had sex with and I can't get her out of my mind even though I haven't talked to her in months. I think I'm just worried I'll never get a girl as good looking as her again

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>>34102936
>spends a million dollars on a real doll
>gets an ugly one

>>34102967
>High school
>Bio class
>We have those lab desks so it's always pairs who sit next to eachother
>Paired with Stacy who I have known since Kindergarten
>Talks to me a lot, kinda just nod my head the entire time
>Get a FB message of her saying something like "anon everyone is saying we're a couple, are we?"
>"I don't think so"
>She never talked to me again

Still have more, and that's a weird fetish

>>34101345
That's more or less how my first time on Tinder also went down, actually. Why the fuck are roasties incapable of understanding anxiety?

>>34101317
I never got the whole "shitting in someone's house nasty" thing. Isn't that what bathrooms are for? How colossal do your dumps have to be for them to actually stink? Do Americans shit outside the toilet or else?

>>34103046
It just makes me feel good, warm fuzzy
I need to get value from somewhere lol

That's a funny one, she thinks you shut her down.

>>34103100
The funny part about all of these is that I was >tfw no gf all throughout MS and HS, I only realized all of these senior year. Still have no gf and my dense head will probably never let me

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Smoked weed with former oneitis at her house while her parents were out of town. I got intensely stoned and ended up just sitting there doing nothing. I probably could have just forced myself on her now that I know she's a whore apparently.

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>>34100167
>be me
>25, working in the Navy
>dock ship in the Phillipines, get off for break
>go get a drink at a bar, late night
>bartender comes over to get me a drink
>hot Asian qt, 7.5/10
>hyper autism engaged
>ask for a beer, chug each can down as fast as possible
>down three in a half an hour
>nervous energy finally goes away, though now wasted
>girl comes over, try to act slick
>meetmesomewhereprivate.jpg
>she blushes, agrees
>down one more beer before she brings me to her place
>totally fucking wasted by now
>she starts stripping
>feelingsick.mov
>internal "OH SHIT"
>run over to the bathroom, puke my guts out onto the floor and toilet.
>once I'm done I realize what just fucking happened
>she's looking at me from the bed in her panties
>say sorry and run out of her room as fast as humanely possible

God I am going to be alone forever

>>34100167

have had sex hundreds of times in the past few years, but i guess i'll join the band wagon of missed opportunities

>be me
>meet cute girl first year of university at a show
>hit it up , we hit it off well and we become close friends
>eventually we start seeing each other
>she has a cute roommate
>roommate always chats with me when i'm over
>asks if i'm dating her roommate
>"no , why? we're just friends?"
>'Ah, in that case you should come hang out sometime! are you busy Friday night?'
> decide to hang out with her because my girl is leaving for the weekend to go back home with her family
>i go over, bottle in hand
>we just listen to music and chat, drink
>eventually the tension gets there and we just start making out
>my hand on her leg, her hand on my crotch
>hugging, kissing
>play fighting
>all of it, our shirts come off and then pants and you know the drill
>we're getting into it
>taking polaroid pictures
>she has brilliant idea of start drawing on each other with sharpies
>my cock is literally inside of her, we're fucking for at least 20 minutes when we hear the door slam
>'what was that?'
turns out the girl didn't go home, her parents just came down and she decided to stay and study
>she walks in on me and her fucking naked and she just starts sobbing and i just leave

lost the friendship and we don't really talk anymore

>>34100611
one time I bought a sound recording of kurt Cobain shooting himself, thats my go to to slpood when the moment is correct.

>>34103295
This one legit made me wince.
That's rough anon. How old are you now?

>>34103046
more dud

>>34102936
How much do those cost again? And how the fuck do you buy one secretly

>>34102759
Lol reminds me of this girl who like me in high school

>sophomore year
>get out of class
>anon, walk me home
>Nah, you live to far

In hindsight I didn't know she wanted to have sex. I thought everyone at that point was a virgin so sex didn't come up in my mind

>>34102901
>bit its a single player game

Well, you weren't wrong. To bad she wanted to play multi-player :*)

>>34102994
>Are you me? The girl I was fucking with a few months did the exact same shit. I later found out she was cheating on me and got pregnant
man, I WISH I had some kind of closure like that. I never got any confirmation of where she went, she was never that active on social media to begin with, and her social circles are quite far removed from mine.

She probably cheated on me, and that'd suck. But I just don't know. For all I know, she's dead, or in another country, or she's just riding the cock carousel like every other woman her age. Any kind of closure would be nice but alas, she simply vanished into thin air. It's a pretty hollow feeling

When I was 16 I had this "girlfriend" that I "went out with" for almost 3 months. We skipped school. I took her to my house knowing that my mother wasn't going to be there. She wanted to watch some shitty movie all I wanted to do was fuck. I attempted to initiate something numerous times. I tried taking off her bra many times she kept pulling it down. She finally let me take off her bra. I put her on her back and slapped my dick against her breast. (That's what they were doing in the pornos right?) She promised that she'd suck my dick but later said she didn't want to. I guilted her until she felt bad. She tried to suck it but my balls stunk really bad. Sprayed perfume on my balls, then she continued to suck. It felt pretty bad, her teeth was grinding against my dick. She asked if she could stop, I said yeah. Eventually I took off her pants, laid her on her stomach and masturbated while I slapped her ass. All I did was cum two loads on her back and she left. This was my first sexual experience ever. I felt paranoid that I got her pregnant even though her underwear was still on and my cum went no where near her vagina. I'm slowly starting to realize that what I did that day was borderline rape.

>>34103722
>sprayed perfume on my balls
that story is hilarious. still closer than i've ever been to sex

>>34103297
>it's a Normie ruins a pretty good thread episode

Everytime

>>34102901
>>34103046
Fuck, I have stories like this too

>girl is in my bed
>literally tells me to fuck her
>she was serious and using a seductive voice
>I just ask "did you just say 'fuck me'? "
>nothing happens
>still a virgin a decade later

>>34103688
>It's a pretty hollow feeling
I know, right? It's like they just threw us away like trash. Like we weren't even good enough for a proper break up. It fucking kills me that after all this time I still think about her every day when she apparently cared about me so little
>>34103772
Why didn't you fuck her?

>>34103772
Holy fucking kek
I do this shit all the time even when I know what the person said. Never thought it could end that badly

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>Was cuddling with a 7/10 on her couch
>Had boner tucked the entire time
>leave with a goodbye hug
>she asks if I had a boner later from txt
>say no
>cut contact because she had a boyfriend at the time
>now growing fat wishing I could have cucked him before it was too late
>

>>34103722
Yeah one time I had a girl (who had a boyfriend) come over and wanted to just "chill"
I obviously wanted to fuck so when we were inevitably making out I ended up on top of her pretty much biting her neck. She kept saying she didnt wanna do it because of her bf but she was moaning while we fucked. Afterward it was really quiet and she cried and left a few minutes later

>tfw rape culture is real

>be me
>22
>get a part-time job at a pub
>girl working there comes in outside her shift
>asks me to stay for a drink but I don't drink
>gets my number and asks me to go to the cinema
>we go and end up at her place afterwards and talk until 5am
>go to cinema again
>she invites her friend to the pub while I'm at work
>they sit there and I avoid them
>girl tells me her friend went on a date with a guy at her workplace and gave him a rimjob after their first date
>hmmm
>go to cinema again
>we go to back to mine and kiss and cuddle
>she comes over a few nights later and we try and have sex
>I go to the bathroom to put on a condom but lose my erection
>go back to the room and she has spilled water everywhere
>feel relieved and clean it up and then cuddle more
>she texts me a few nights later saying she's at work
>she says something about not wearing to work for some reason
>hmmm
>end up leaving my apartment at like 1am to meet her on her way home
>walk to her apartment
>she turns off the light as usual and gets into bed
>I join her and we kiss
>get a hard-on as usual
>we get nude
>feel tense as fuck and don't touch her vagina and keep my penis away from her
>she asks if I have a condom and I get up to get it
>go into the bathroom again to put it on
>lose my erection again and panic and try masturbating
>try stuffing my thumb up my ass to stimulate my prostate
>go back to the bed with the condom half-on
>fail to get hard again for more than a few seconds
>whack off intensely beside her
>she keeps telling me to stop and kisses my neck
>I lie on my back sweating and jacking off and flinching when she kisses me
>end up just cuddling
>she goes to the bathroom with her phone for like 15 minutes
>the bed is soaked from my sweat
>I dress and leave at like 5am while she's still in the bathroom
>never saw each other again

>>34102901
>slenderman
>middle school
Reported for underage.

>>34103985
Freshman in college fuckerrrrrr

>>34103722
PART 2: I only had two sexual experiences in my life one was when I was 16, the other was when I was 18. This girl was way more attractive than the other one. As a matter of fact, she was kinda out of my league. I learned from my past experience. I made sure I smelt great and I made sure to ask for permission. She came over, we watched bullshit on Netflix but we both knew what we wanted to do. This time she initiated everything. I was on my back and she was on top of me kissing me and rocking back and forth. While we were kissing I placed my hands on her ass. Eventually she ended up on her back and before I proceeded I made sure to ask if I could take off her bra. She took it off herself. "You have beautiful breasts" I said. I then continued to lick, kiss, and bite her upper body for a good 20 minutes. We stopped for a while, ate food and went back to my room. This time we were under the covers. She was on top of me again I rubbed her vagina area while she was wearing jeans. (I have no fucking clue why I didn't just ask her to take them off.) I pulled out my dick, she touched it and she asked If I wanted her to jerk me off. I said yeah. I wasn't really that hard and eventually she left because her parents were strict as fuck. It's been about a good year. I haven't felt a women's touch since then. I'm still a virgin and desperate to get pussy this semester

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>>34103295
>>34103836
>>34103961
Holyshit you poor beta fucks

I got two greentexts of depressing success stories if anyone's interdasted

>>34104332
Pls do post anon.

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>>34103801
>Why didn't you fuck her?
Honestly, because she had a boyfriend and I was still a virgin. I didn't give a shit about her asshole Chad bf, but I had recently went through a bad breakup with no closure (with my first love, who I thought I was going to marry) so the thought of losing my virginity to my slutty friend through casual sex when we weren't even official and I didn't care for her anywhere near as much as I cared for my ex turned me off. I think I regret it, but I'm still not sure. Everything is too far gone anyways, I'm basically ten years behind and hopeless now.

>>34103808
I always think of the smoothest shit to say literally days afterwards. Same girl, different time, her bed, she was straddled on top of me and I was absent-mindedly rubbing her thighs and hit her crotch. She said "you're touching me inappropriately" in a really playful and sultry voice, threw her hair, and gave me a fucking wink. I immediately became legitimately concerned (thinking about sexual assault and stuff) and said "no I'm not, I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention, I'll stop now sorry." What I should have said was, "is that a complaint?" and kept doing it.

I got more fucking pathetic stories

>>34103151
Same. Why is this all hitting me now...

>>34104384
Starting off with my first experience.
>be me 14 yro edgy freshman
>be friends with inna-closet boy
>I recently figured out I was bi
>he asks if I want to go on vacation with him and his family
>they were rich as fuark so they rented three cabins
>I shared cabin with him and his brother+gf
>brother+gf wouldn't be there til late
>being the beta male I was I suggested we play truth or dare
Cringy as fuck but I was 14 so calm down.
>we do this for like half an hour
>dumb dares like "lmaooo do a jumping jack shirtless"
>finally getting secksy
>"you wanna go in the other room and see what happens...?"
>finally
>immediately hot and heavy
>he fucks me good I still jerk it to the memory
>cums on my face and we cuddle
>"my turn"
>I get on top
>nervous cuz first time
>get in
>feelsdamnamazing.exe
>cum in under 30 seconds
>we shower silently
>brother gets there and we don't talk much
We didn't talk after that for like 4 months. Fun experience though. Got one more so please don't go

>>34104604
Story 2
A female this time
>be me about three months ago
>been craving sex since 14
>random girl follows me on instagram
>"hey you don't know me but I thought your name was cool"
>we only talk over dm's so I'm confident as fuck
>gets secksy
>I'm nervous and ask her to send noodz
>she goes along and does and we arrange to meet up and "cuddle"
>the day comes
>I'm drive over there and see her for the first time
>she's fat but so am I
>we go inside and throw on Netflix
>sit next to her with obvious erection
>she grinds on it
>ecstasy pure and simple
>reach under her shirt and play with her nips
At this point im so sweaty and nervous and shaky I can barely maintain my fake alphaness
>take off her pants and see a thong folded under a flap of flab
>fuck it its a vagina I'll never have this again
>gotta be smooth
>"want me to put it in you...?"
>she kneels down and I push in to the holiest of holes
>literally last for maybe 20 seconds before I shoot down her leg
>she realizes this and sits back
>I sit there with her small dick flat against my fat thigh
>we watch Pokemon
>I mumble "sorry for...yknow...being bad at that"
>she says no no I was good but the pity in her voice hurts
>I put pants on and leave
>smile on my face but a crack in my heart
I know I'll never pleasure a woman or a man.

>>34100167
>met a girl online
>talked nicely to her
>had sex

whats your excuses? Im an ugly basement troll and she was a 7/10 nerdy girl with a crazy sex drive.

>>34104835
fake alphaness works, the first time i had a girl over i was terrified, i acted and talked confident even though i was sweating and shit. we started dating and i asked if she remembered when we first met, i told her that i was terrified and she said she couldnt tell at all.

>>34104947
Fake it til you make it essentially. How I do it.

>>34104835
>I sit there with her small dick flat against my fat thigh
>her small dick
anyway what does it matter that you didn't please somebody you only fuck once? just getting your nut off should be all that matters

>>34105140
I mean for the future. Any woman I meet will get sub-prime dicc and either leave me or cuck me.

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Fuck it robots, you'll be the first and last people to hear about this.

>be me two years ago, college sophomore
>really close friends with 10/10 redheaded qt from my course
>was pretty much like a sister to me, we had nearly identical taste in music and film and hanged out almost every day
>knew I was a kissless virgin and occasionally teased me about it
>drunkenly said once she'd like to be my first, but I shrugged it off as a joke since she never mentioned it again
>one night, we're hanging out together at the university cafe
>she starts getting touchy, clinging onto my arm the whole time
>suddenly asks if I want to be kissed by her
>confused, I mutter a "y-yes?"
>she suddenly latches onto me and gives me my first kiss
>it was short and strange, unlike anything I had ever felt before
>"Hahaha anon, you clearly haven't done this before! I think we need to practice a little!"
>we pretty much start making out in the middle of the cafe, she comments in between on how much of a terrible kisser I am but begs for me to continue
>after 15 minutes of almost uninterrupted kissing, she says we should go to her house
>not an abnormal thing at all, I had stayed in her place multiple times and even (literally) slept there on some occasions

(1/2)

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>>34106289
>once we get there she starts making out with me again
>still confused and not doing much more than standing there and exasperatedly trying to sync my lip movement with hers, but nonetheless enjoying the sensation
>she takes me to the bedroom
>lies me down on her bed
>crawls besides me and starts taking off my pants
>I suddenly freak the fuck out
>push her arms away and jump out of the bed
>terrified, ask her "w-what the fuck are you doing?!" (direct citation as far as I remember)
>she giggles and tells me to calm down
>stands up in front of me
>starts taking off her clothes
>I stand there, terrified, without knowing what the fuck I should be doing
>in moments, for the first time in my life, there's a naked woman in front of me
>"So, anon, do you want to do this on not?"
>baffled, without being able to express anything, I start laughing
>she looks at me, visibly confused
>laughing hysterically, I jump onto the bed and start rubbishly impersonating Nietzsche's Thus Spoke Zarathustra
>"YOU FOOL! DON'T YOU KNOW MEN IS SOMETHING WE MUST OVERCOME? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO REACH THE UBERMENSCH TODAY?!"
>she's fucking frozen, doesn't even know what the fuck to say despite how talkative she is
>jump out of the bed and rush for the door, still exasperatedly laughing and repeatedly screaming "I'M SO SORRY, I'M SO SORRY"
>run home
>slump over my bed in tears
>cry to sleep
>she found a boyfriend on the following day

We still hang out sometimes but basically promised each other to never mention what happened on that night again.

>>34100167
>be me
>been hanging out/"chilling" with a girl i'd met
>chilling meant, smoking, getting high and then fooling around, usually me fingering her while we made out
>i'd met her out one night, and we went back to her place, both pretty drunk
>She was sat on me, straddling
>We'd been making out, choking each other and dry humping for 5-10 minutes
>She stopped and sat back
>We tore each others clothes off
>We made out again
>She went down on me, my dick was hard but i was so drunk i couldnt come
>Then, she stopped, she grabbed my dick
>I grabbed it too and we went to put it in her
>As her hand touched her vag she stopped and looked at her hand
>She was on her period and was bleeding
>We made out a bit more, she sucked me off some more, i eventually blew my load twice, in her mouth and all over her ass
>then we went to sleep
>she left for a holiday for the summer the next week, and then went off to uni after that so I haven't seen her since
it was a pretty good night, and a rlly good sleep, i just wished she hadn't been on her period, it

Kind of like >>34101118, going from khv to being close to someone like that then nothing is worse than before tbqhwyf, funnily enough my girl was walking red flags as well but she was hot af

>>34101133
Greentext NOW

Oregon

>>34106719
Crazy bitches truly do give the best sex

>>34106384
>>crawls besides me and starts taking off my pants
>>I suddenly freak the fuck out
>>push her arms away and jump out of the bed
>>terrified, ask her "w-what the fuck are you doing?!" (direct citation as far as I remember)
goodbye sides

>>baffled, without being able to express anything, I start laughing
>>she looks at me, visibly confused
>>laughing hysterically, I jump onto the bed and start rubbishly impersonating Nietzsche's Thus Spoke Zarathustra
OH MY FUCKING GOD IT GETS BETTER

>>"YOU FOOL! DON'T YOU KNOW MEN IS SOMETHING WE MUST OVERCOME? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO REACH THE UBERMENSCH TODAY?!"
>>she's fucking frozen, doesn't even know what the fuck to say despite how talkative she is
>>jump out of the bed and rush for the door, still exasperatedly laughing and repeatedly screaming "I'M SO SORRY, I'M SO SORRY"
WEW, thanks for that anon

>>she found a boyfriend on the following day
if it makes it any better she'd have probably found him eventually anyway

>>34106384
>>34106289
Okay, no one believes this fucking stupid ass story. Right?

>summer 2009
>be on MySpace
>leave sexy comment on picture of thicc girl from high school
>she asks for my number
>says she's horny and dtf
>don't have a car or bedroom
>neither of us can host
>ask her to meet me for a movie and see what happens after
>she agrees but never showed up

I am absolutely certain I wouldn't be a virgin now if I lived in a place with a private bedroom and had a car. Then I would have simply been able to bring women like her over, there's literally no place I can actually go to have sex unless she takes me to her place. This is why i have kissed a handful of girls yet close to 30 and still virgin. Not that I think there's anything wrong with it, I'm not going to go pay to rent an apartment unless I get rick or until my parents die/move to retirement home, and being a virgin means 0% chance of pregnancy scares.

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>>34106855
>tfw you fuck up so bad not even /r9k/ believes you actually fucked up this bad
ty

>>34102901
same i greentexted like 10 stories in /b/ when I'm dense as fuck
i feel you brother

>>34102759
>being the beta faggot that I am, I offer to walk with her back there so she's not alone

This isn't beta... This is how you build a relationship m88.

>>34104394
holy shit. i dont care if youre making this up (cause if youre not, then HOLYSHIT MAN...), but i want more

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i actually feel really bad when i remember it
>senior year
>went to a party some normie invited(he invited the whole class)
>everyone gets drunk
>ive never had a single beer in my life
>chads appears and seems he feels pitty for me
>calls a stacy and intrudes to me and says anon she wanted to meet i ll leave you both alone
>dont say anything
>she does the talking
>eventually says my lips are kissable
>gives me a drink
>tfw this is really good
>end up being wasted 10 min later and throwing up in all my clothes
>next day chads apporaches to me
>wow anon you were wild last nigh never knew that side of you good thing you had the girl to celebrate
>y-y-eah chad i had fun with her
>tfw i had a girl that wanted to kiss me and i passed out because of the fucking alcohol

my baby sitter rubbed my pee pee on her vago when i was little does that count?

>>34103961
>I go to the bathroom to put on a condom but lose my erection
what?
>go into the bathroom again to put it on
>lose my erection again and panic and try masturbating
WHAT?!?!
why the fuck do you leave the thing, that gave you boner to go apply something, that requiries boner somewhere, where the thing giving you boner IS NOT
why dont you just put it on in front of her

>>34101317
kekked to this post desu

>>34107628
At least you got some rep with the chaps, buddy. You still got something out of it.

>>34108407
chad never talked to me again, he was just doing me a favor i would never have in my entire life

>>34106384
>and start rubbishly impersonating Nietzsche's Thus Spoke Zarathustra
Oh my...

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>be a very fat man
>start swimming to try and lose weight
>one day I am swimming
>lady even fatter than me is the only over person in the building, is watching me from afar and smiling
>after a few laps I get out and climb to the side
>she comes and starts talking to me
>tells me I am 'really strong'
>starts rubbing my back
>I have a visible erection beneath my shorts (maybe, I am so fat it is hard to be sure, I used to have 'fat clumping' on my groin that people could mistake for a boner)
>she starts kissing my neck
>asks if I want to go back to hers
>I am really nervous remembering I am a virgin
>get sweaty and panic
>dive back into the pool, swim to the bottom and float back up
>she is still there
>'I CC-C-CAN'T HAVE SEX I HAVE THE BENDS'
>pretend to cough like I have severe decompression sickness
>she sighs and leaves
>tfw I gave up swimming after this and gained another 40lbs

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>>34108510
>>she starts kissing my neck
>in a fucking public pool
Jesus christ, how can you lose a girl that's so goddamn easy?

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Had skype sex with a girl like 4 times because it was an online relationship
>Tfw fell for the cyber jew
>Tfw wasted a year on her and am now in complete shit

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>>34100167
>be me, 11 years old
>I went to some party with my friends
>shit was lit, yo
>Two girls, one was twelve and the other was 15, asked me to follow them
>We enter into a room with a big bed in which there was a plasma tv
>We lied down, one was on my left and the other on my right, I'm frightened
>They put my hands on each of their vaginas, while they touch me by my leg and slowly moving to my penis
>panic.jpg
>minutes after someone came in and told us that there was some shit going on and that we need to get out immidietely
>Nothing happened
Belive it or not, this is actually true.

>>34100825
do le nofap meme

>>34101487
Stop jerking off, faggot.

original

>>34102759
being heterosexual is the most beta thing you could do, if you were gay you would be the one getting escorted

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>How close?

>I sealed the deal. It felt good. But it gets old.

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You guys should just get an escort to get it over with.

She doesn't have any expectations coming in and will more than likely guide you through not being able to get an erection.

It'll cost you a few hundred for an hour (for a white, pretty one free of STDs and no drug addictions)

>>34106384
>>34106289
My dude, this shit is hillarious!

I held a guy's hand once. But it was platonic.

>>34100167
A girl was forced to kiss me during a true-or-dare back in high school. It was completely out of the blue for me as I was not part of the game and she immediately pretended to gag after kissing, so I didn't get time to savour it. Though I doubt my autistic ass would have savoured it anyway. That was 17 years ago.

A girl hugged me once.
She was in a competition with her friend to see who could hug the most people

Girl was sitting at me naked wanted to fug me and I couldnt get hard.
Cant be closer than this

>>34110480
How can this even happen? Is it that you were frightened or was it that you fap too much?

>>34110489
Dont know desu.
She was 8/10 too.
I am at no fap at this monent, the girl said dont worry because she was stressed a little too.
Maybe I will have second chance.
Or sexond chance to embarass myself again.

>>34110514
I'm currently on the 14th day, planning to do a whole year without fapping. Good luck in the future, my dude, may you finally get some.

>>34100167 Some crazy goth chick tried to keep me in her crazy sex relationship. She's not fat or ugly, probably 6.5-8/10 depending on standards, but I'm gay and she's a sociopathic freak. I basically didn't do anything with her, but run. I'm a pretty lonely guy though. I prefer it though.

>>34100167
>be me during NYE
>live in uni halls
>randomly meet a girl from the hall that had no plans for that night
>invite her over to chill with me and some other people on the corridor
>we sit in a kitchen and drink and talk and shit
>i tell the people I wanna order takeaway, the girl wants it too
>we go to my room to order takeaway
>I could tell she was quite into me
>I do a card trick in which at the end I ask for a kiss
>trick goes smooth, she's impressed and we start making out
>we were both kinda drunk
>start taking off clothes
>I eat her out for a while and we make out some more
>she wants to give me the SUCC
>that day I've wanked twice before+alcohol
>limpdick.exe
>we just continue making out for like 2 hours
>the end
Fuck my life. I need to stop wanking so much. Also I was very nervous. Kill me.

>meet girl I played overwatch with
>She's in town for her training at her new company
>She tells me to come over
>Get drunk
>Don't know what the fuck I'm doing with her
>Start to get hot and heavy
>She says "Wait, anon are you a virgin. I don't think you have done this before."
>"Y-yes..."
>She tells me "You should save your virginity for someone you love."

I got upset and just left and cried the whole way home. I'll probably never get a chance to have sex with someone who actually cares about me.

>>34110649
You're not a robot, get the fuck out of here.

>>34110656
She seems quite nice.

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>>34100167
Never.
I've never hugged, kissed, held hand, or had any verbal affection from a girl ever. And you think I ever came close to sex. All of my friends have had sex, and some are butt ugly. I'll never have sex cause I was never meant too. Plus I'm never going to be comfortable naked around another person. I'm ready for the sweet release of death.

>>34110765
You'll never have some, since you lack sufficent self-confidence and you're probably pittying yourself the whole day, instead of doing something to change it.

>just turned 16
>had been talking to a girl for awhile
>she asks me to stay at her sisters house with her
>share a bed with her for about a week
>we do shit like making out, fingering, handjobs.. etc
>one night i hint at wanting to have sex with her
>she tells me i can but only if i be her boyfriend
>sperg out because autism
>"i-ill think about it"
>dont end up having sex with her

>I put my penis in her vagina.

When my ex boyfriend came a big warm load into my boibuss

>>34110807
that's generally what people who lack sufficient self confidence do. unless youre at parties or other social gatherings and have at least a passable face, no girl is gonna make a move on you ever, that's not how it works. I'm 24 and a girl has never even flirted with me. I don't spend my time in self pity, I'm comfortable with myself but I know that's not what girls want in a guy most of the time and I will likely never get close to having sex

>>34100167
>meet qt stoner girl in French class
>we would skype while playing Dark Souls together, she had th same fucked up sense of humor I had and wasn't a pussy.


>buy shit off her and it's really good
>she always asked what I was doing that weekend and always said if I wanted to get drunk/high
>started mentioning offhand that she's on the pill and hugging me longer when I see her
>too much of a pussy to do anything about it, always said I has something going on because I was too afraid to tell my parents
>just when I planned on fucking her she got arrested and 6 months for selling weed and acid
Ive visited her in prison twice so maybe that counts for something

>>34110742
Don't know if that's sarcasm or not.

lol who hasn't had sex by the time they turn 18? lmao

Probably one of those times I had sex

When I was like 14 I fapped ~25 times a day, and one day my balls started hurting and they didn't stop for a good two weeks which made me panic so I cried to my mom for help. Long story short we went to a series if health centres and hospitals where people simply had no idea what was wrong with my balls. At one point though, a young nurse was supposed to do ultrasound on my balls and to do that she had to rub up my dick with that greasy substance. Instant boner that had no signs of stopping while my mom was in the same room too. Slapped the shit out of me afterwards

Have not had such bad luck, but this is the closest.

Having threesom with friend and a 8/10. (No contact between me and friend)

Cum up her ass and vag 3 times in an hour, go to fuck her again whilst my friend hold her legs behind her head, see loads of cum dripping out of both holes, loose erection, can't fuck.

>>34100167
had a friend say i was a good person and say i would find love, thats the closest ive ever got

>>34111131
>fapping 25 times a day
>keep a raging boner while your mom is watching you

you are one sick bastard

>>34101487
Feels bad man, it's literally all mental. I was in the same situation, but it gets better when you learn to control yourself after more tries. If you go soft you should try to relax your muscles, touch her body to get aroused, or maybe tell her to blow you so you get hard.

If you went that far with a girl it means you have chances to loose it, that sperging is more common than you think. Good luck on leaving r9k.

>Be me studying abroad
>Flatmate family is here
>Sister wants to go out at night.jpg
>Go to a pub and meet some french friends
>Some friends of them came to visit them
>meet french-arab qt3.14
>Start talking to her, nice gurl
>We drink some beer and shots
>Throw some hints, ask her what to say to cute girls in arab and that shit
>Friend of her tell me to sex her later.
>Icantfuckthisup.png
>Move to karaoke with her and 2 friends
>Pub almost next to karaoke
>Take long route, walk near my house
>"Do you want to go upstairs?"
>no,jpg
>Fuckit.mp4
>Continue flirting with her till we reach the karaoke
>We sing dance and drink till everybody is leaving
>Decide to leave
>"Are you leaving?"
>"Yeah I have stuff to do tomorrow morning"
>Lastchance.bmp
>"Do you want me to stay?"
>"Yeah!"
>I
>Stay with her, last song, we dance, end up holding her. End up kissing, she bites my lower lip
>Instaboner.avi
>Go to frenchies house, where she's staying
>Frenchies are already there. Go inside and the guys are naked
>WTFcoveryourselffag.wav
>Have some shots, people start to go to sleep
>Gurl sleeps in one of the naked guys bed
>We go to sleep
>Guy is passed out in his fucking bed
>Move him away
>Undress myself and spoon with her
>Start rubbing her thighs
>FastForward she ends up opening her legs, reach pussy
>I'm diamonds
>Finger her while she stroke my dick
>She cum a couple of time
>It'smyturn.jpg
>Keep going a lil bit
>Realise we have no condoms. I didn't bring any because didn't think it could happen that day.
>FUARK.JPG
>Ask frenchies
>Not a single one in the house
>She doesn't wan't it raw
>mfw
>Fap and leave

Got hugged by some qt's a few times.
>inb4 kissless virgin

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context:
>be me
>20 in university, still a virgin
>not bad looking, but not anything great
>never able to get girlfriends due to my own confidence issues and autism; still want one someday
>never attended a party before, never drank alcohol
story:
>take physics class
>get assigned seat next to senior
>senior looks like chad (and is on the football team), though isn't a douche
>far from it, he is nice to me
>halfway into the class, he asks me If I have any plans this weekend, cause he wants to know if we can study together for the upcoming midterm
>say I have no plans (which was the truth); we organize a time to study
>both study hard for midterm, then both ace it
>senior asks if we can keep studying together
>lacking any real friends, I eagerly accept just to have additional human interaction
>constant pattern emerges
>senior asks if I have any plans
>I say none, we end up studying when he's open
>eventually, I get sense that senior detects pattern, though routine doesn't change
>end of year arrives, physics final is early in finals week
>study one last time together
>expect not to hear from senior again after final exam
>take final
>senior contacts me on facebook a few days later, thanks me for helping him get an A in the class
>asks if I want to go to this party with him to celebrate the end of the year
>try to back out of it
>he insists I tag along (I think he was legitimately saddened by my lack of social life and wanted to try to help me)
>I eventually decide to go to party
>tag along with Senior who introduces me to his friends
>try to hide autism as best I can, only somewhat successful
>begin drinking alchohol for first time
>confidence issues evaporate, though the autism remains
>begin hitting on girls
>fail again and again
>begin to get sense that I'm completely hopless
>see girl who seems to be amused at my quirky failures
>decide to flirt with her
>for some inexplicable reason, she seems into me

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>>34111466
cont:
>confidence goes through the roof after experiencing validation on that front
>talk with her for what must have been an hour, she laughs at my stories and seems to be having a good time
>consume more drinks
>feel like I might actually lose my virginity, feel pure euphoria
>party begins to wind down
>ask her if she wants to go back to my dorm room and watch something on netflix
>she says yes
>we stagger back to my dorm room
>I'm hit with realization that I don't have a condom or anything
>thankfully, she has to use restroom as soon as we get back - while she's occupied I grab a condom from my suitmate's (who always leaves his door open) desk
>head into my room and close door
>rather than turning on the television to watch netflix, clothes begin to come off
>we both get on my bad, half-naked
>begin making out with her (which is something I've never done before this moment)
>adernaline rushing
>suddenly feel weird warm feeling on my lips
>dismiss it, in no mood to stop
>initiate foreplay
>warm feeling becomes cold
>suddenly girl yells "stop"
>blood is everywhere, all over our faces and abdomens
>girl gets up to clean herself, I throw on some old clothes, and take take off sheets and throw them in the washer before they stain, then wash myself off once she's done
>both back in my room, we just spoon and watch an episode or two of scandal then fall asleep
>no sex occurs
>girl leaves soon after waking up next morning
>we haven't talked since

What seems to have happened is that I gave her a nosebleed by being too rough with the kissing. Being intoxicated, it took awhile to figure out what was going on. I came so close, and failed.

I think I'm destined to be a virgin forever...

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>>34103874
are you me?
>be me
>have gf
>start talking to another girl
>8/10 starts coming over daily
>8/10 gets scared during a movie and holds my hand
>fastforward, we start fucking daily on my grandma's couch
>real gf will leave, other gf will come over and we fuck
>Find out other gf has bf
>start cumming inside other gf since we always went raw
>tfw she is pregnant and her cuck bf who hasnt fucked her until she found out she was pregnant just got news he is going to be a dad
missed opportunity now because she realized i am a fucking robot and never will achieve normie status so i cant ever go up in them guts again

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>>34100167
A girl told me that I had a sexy voice via a note. This occurred during the middle of class so I just sorta tried to get her to fuck off. She was a known whore anyways and wasn't very attractive.

Aside from that, I was asked out by this one chick back in 10th grade I believe. I assumed it was just a joke and ignored her (a normie had played this trick on me back in middle school). Maybe she actually liked me though. I'll never know.