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>be me
>be 350lb normie slayer
>wake up at 7 in the evening
>tummy growls for tendies and mountain dew
>screech at the top of my lungs
>then proceed to yell
>"THE NORMIE SLAYER HAS AWAKENED NOW HE MUST FEAST ON TENDIES"
>hear mommy sobbing
>I didn't ask for crying I asked for tendies dumb normie bitch
>"THE NORMIE SLAYER SHALL NOT WAIT, FOR HE IS A GOOD BOY"
>still hear mommy crying like a little bitch
>Thats it
>grab my pee and poo jar
>lay on my skateboard (my big bones are too heavy for me to walk)
>surf down the stairs and get a big owie
>now i start crying
>"MOMMY THIS IS YOUR FAULT YOU LAZY CUNT NOW YOUR BIG BOY IS HURT"
>sobbing gets louder
>bitch doesn't even come to give me kisses
>normie slayer is enraged
>stand up because of my anger strength
>knock down mommy's door
>bitch is screaming in fear
>YOU HAVE BEEN A BAD MOMMY, NOW YOU WILL HAVE TO PAY THE PRICE, PREPARE FOR THE PEE POO DICE"
>take off my diaper throw it at her face
>spin around and shit and piss everywhere
>mommy is begging for mercy
>too late bitch
>throw pee and poo bottle on her
>headshot
>glass breaks on her
>she's knocked out cold
>pick up a glass shard and stab her nipples
>she's bleeding from her head
>go to the freezer and grab all the tendies and stuff them in my pockets
>run go back up stairs to my dojo
>watch mlp for 5 hours while eating frozen tendies
>finally decide to pick up the phone and call the popo b/c I'm a good boy
>hear sirens approaching
I hope they take away my abusive mommy and give me a new tendie vendor
>>
These threads are the ones that make r9k great.
>>
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>>34090821
One of these again finally. Will post some oc shortly
>>
literally me af
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>>34090821
I'm here to r9k, fresh off the boat from /b/ to find the place
>r9k where autism comes to flourish
>>
Scratching my head here. What exactly was his mom crying about?
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>>34091204
Hey buddy? Fuck off
>>
>>34090914
We are going to make /r9k/ great again! believe me, folks
>>
>>34091407
I know robots. Some of the best robots in the world.
>>
>>34090821
Bring back the CHICKEN TENDIES and GOOD BOY PONTS threads.
>>
Oh my something decent finally. I didnt come here for weeks, still infested by (((((them))))) or what
>>
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>Be hanging out with my daki (Mikiru is best waifu)
>Mommy comes in and asks me if I want to go to Friendlies for a platter of tendies and some icy creamy
>Clap excitedly and rush to the car with Mikiru
>Sit in backseat with her, mommy gets to car and starts driving us to Friendlies
>Mikiru gets frisky and starts eyeing up my crotch
>Decide to give her a show
>Pull out my cock and start tugging it around
>Mikiru looks at it hungrily, cum on her face in a matter of seconds and scream
>Hear mommy sigh from front seat and mutter that she made a mistake
>Tell her it's okay,I love mommy and I can get her her OWN Daki
>She sighs, obviously with relief
>We get to friendlies, get out with mikiru and we order three plates of tendies and frenchies, thinking about what kind of Icy Creamy I'll get
>Mommy orders a glass water and some toast
>Asks for three slices instead of two
>Warn her not to go over board or new Chad Daddy might not like her flab flab
>Shes so grateful for my advice that her eyes start to water
>Me and Mikiru finish our tendies and mommy makes a comment about me not throwing stones
>She KNOWS I'm sensitive about my beautiful curves
>I control myself, but Mikiru is in love with me
>She lunges forward and attacks mommy for disrespecting her hubby
>Waitress comes over and grabs me
>Why grab me? Mikiru is the one hurting mommy!
>Realize... the waitress is in love with me too
>Lunge forward and start making out with her, Mikiru stops attacking mommy for some reason
>Waitress pushes me away, I knew I should have stuck with Mikiru
>Mommy says we have to leave now
>Never got my Icy Creamy
>Shit pants and start crying
>Go home with mommy, she's apologizing for ruining my night out
>Tell her that after TONIGHT, only a threeway with mikiru will make up for what she did
>Mommy starts sobbing tears of joy that she can do something to make me forgive her
>>
>>34091407
>>34091434
normie goes to /r9k/. gets depressed and commits suicide. Many such cases!
>>
okay this CAN'T be real, this has got to be the scariest and most disturbed board I have EVER come across. like... WHAT?! who even DREAMS of these... these... PUTRID things?! now I see why you're all single virgin losers, no woman, no HUMAN should have to read that... I'm going to be sick, UGH.I hope they get you a new tendie vendor anon, how dare she deny you your destiny
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>>34090821
wtf is "pee poo dice" ?????
>>
>>34092271
You people do suck the life force out of me sometimes.
>>
>>34092244
Wait, you actually brought the semen-encrusted hugpillow into the restaurant with you?
>>
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>>34090821
Holy shit how fucking old are you?? I knew this board was bad but this....
>>
>>34092356
>>34092874
>>34092660
>>34091204
Is this b8 or is there a sudden normie influx?
>>
>>34093107
Sometimes you have to wonder if those posts are genuine or ironic. I'm pretty sure your post is meta-ironic, you should be able to tell who's baiting or not by now. Or am I just being reverse meta-ironic?
>>
>>34092244
>>Never got my Icy Creamy
:(
>>
>>34092660
Just imagine someone doing that.
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>>34092660
GET THE FUCK OUT NORMIE
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE original
>>
Don't feel pity for OP's mum, it's her fault for enabling him.
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>>34090821
>pick up the phone and call the popo b/c I'm a good boy
This bit made me laugh
>>
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>>34090821
Bad parents deserve to get shit on.
Thread posts: 26
Thread images: 5
Thread images: 5