>tfw hold my own hand in bed as if I'm holding hands

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>tfw hold my own hand in bed as if I'm holding hands with a girl
>tfw circle my thumb on the back of the other hand as if it's a girl
>tfw rub my foot up and down my calf as if it's a girl
>tfw run my fingers up and down and through my chest hair as if it's a girl doing it
>tfw whisper to myself in a feminine voice and reply in a deep whisper complaining jokingly to "her" that I'm tired and need to sleep
>tfw lie in bed and pretend a qt girl is lying with her face towards mine and smiling at me
>tfw fold up my bathrobe and place it between legs as if it's a girl's leg
>tfw kiss empty air pretending I'm kissing a girl
>tfw lie on my back and hold my arm out and then folded at a ninety degree angle to pretend I'm holding a girl who's lying against me
>tfw go through each board on 4chan pretending I'm giving a tour to my girlfriend and providing a humorous little summary about each one
>tfw watching home videos on my laptop of my family and me as a kid and pretending a qt girl is sitting beside me saying "awww" and smiling and asking who the different people are
>tfw walking home alone and pretending she's walking beside me and think up lengthy dialogue and occasionally laugh at something she or I said in the imagined dialogue
>tfw imagine meeting her family and having them like me
>tfw imagine her meeting my family for the first time and us sleeping and talking quietly in my room at home
>tfw imagine her and my mom preparing coffee after dinner and watching her laugh at something my mom says
>tfw imagine making her mom laugh and making her father a little annoyed when she and her mother tell him that he's probably boring me and that I probably want to get to bed after the long journey
>tfw developing several lengthy scenarios involving me and my qt crush and replaying them mentally each night while adding small details and more dialogue and making them a little longer each night

How the FUCK did it come to this?