ok faggots, let's play the "am I a functioning member

File: 1468207513031.webm (1020KB, 720x480px) Image search: [Google]

1020KB, 720x480px

>>34069732
>you haven't had a partner in over a year
>you haven't had sex in over a year
>you masturbate to hentai
>BONUS: you masturbate to degenerate stuff like bestiality or loli
>you are over 18 and a virgin
>you have never had a partner
>you are over 16 and have never kissed someone
>you unironically believe the jews control the world in a shadow government
>you play video games more than 2 hours a day on average
>you don't go outside at least 5 days per week
Well, I guess it's been fun. Just kidding, it's been terrible. Oblivion would be a step-up, I have no doubt.

>>34069732
>>you haven't had a partner in over a year
>you haven't had sex in over a year
>you masturbate to hentai
>BONUS: you masturbate to degenerate stuff like bestiality or loli
>you are over 18 and a virgin
>you browse r9k every day

Adding an extra point for my self:
>well known for animating bestiality and loli in sfm and making good money off it.

>you use the term "normie" unironically

>you unironically believe the jews control the world in a shadow government

>you play video games more than 2 hours a day on average

wew lads, I get to live

>>34069732
>functional enough to pass this test
>nonfunctional enough to fail in practice

>>34069732
>be me
>25-year-old female
>have bf and have sex almost daily
>don't watch porn
>mostly normal

>you don't have a job or school
>you unironically believe the jews control the world in a shadow government
>you play video games more than 2 hours a day on average
>you watch anime more than 2 hours a day on average
>you don't go outside at least 5 days per week
>you browse r9k every day

Yet I still have to kill myself.

File: 1410645424865.png (300KB, 324x424px) Image search: [Google]

300KB, 324x424px

>mfw i'm 26yo KHV and NEET

okay i killed myself
am i doing it right?
>translated from ghost talk
0o0o0o0oooooo000o0o

>>34069732

>>you unironically believe the jews control the world in a shadow government

OYYY VEYYYYY GOY IF YOU THINK WE RUN EVERYTHING THEN YOU SHOULD KILLYOURSELF

File: tfw.jpg (131KB, 1912x1072px) Image search: [Google]

131KB, 1912x1072px

>>34069732
>over 25 and still live at home
>haven't had a partner ever
>haven't had sex ever
>browse /r9k/ everyday
>unironically use the term "waifu"
BINGO, I GOT A BINGO, YAY!

>you have never had a partner
>you browse r9k every day
>you masturbate to hentai (happened twice, 3d poor is too fake for me sometimes. like the dudes are often really old and weird)

AYYYY

File: 1479244423890.jpg (82KB, 540x720px) Image search: [Google]

82KB, 540x720px

>>34070412

>female
>thinking that all you have to do is to have sex to be a functioning member of society

why am I not surprised

>>34069732
>you haven't had a partner in over a year
>you haven't had sex in over a year
>you are over 18 and a virgin

Guess all I need to do is make the effort in finding a gf and get laid then.

>>34069732
11/18

:)
Originiggers

>>34070548
Are you saying I should take a man's job instead of raising children?

>>34069732
>tfw 14/18 apply to me

File: gutsgrasses.jpg (15KB, 251x201px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 251x201px

>>34069732

>you are over 18 and a virgin
>you masturbate to hentai
>BONUS: you masturbate to degenerate stuff like bestiality or loli
>you don't shower at least every two days
>you have never had a partner
>you are over 16 and have never kissed someone
>you browse r9k every day
>you play video games more than 2 hours a day on average

>>34070683
>not married
>wasting time playing vidya and watching anime

You're either not a mother or a horrible one

>>34071228
I'm waiting for my bf to impregnate me.

>>34069732
Shit bait, shit thread.
Fuck off and sage.

>>34069732
Some of these are extreme on even normie standards

>you are over 18 and a virgin
a lot of people are virgins until they start uni

>you haven't had a partner in over a year
>you haven't had sex in over a year
These depend on your age

>you are over 16 and have never kissed someone
this is true for the majority of the population

>you play video games more than 2 hours a day on average
this is normal for gamers

File: 2dd.jpg (38KB, 560x560px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 560x560px

>you haven't had sex in over a year
>you are over 18 and a virgin
>you play video games more than 2 hours a day on average
>you unironically use the term "waifu"
close one

>>34071273
>70% of the US population has had their first kiss by 15. The average age of first kiss is 13.5 years in America.

>>34071323
But then again, US is full of degenerates.

>>34071362
>kissing is degenerate
>t. Someone who has never been kissed

>>34069732
Got 15

But no one cares, so fuck you.

12 points here, did I win?

>>34071386
Kissing at 13 is degeneracy, yes.
The American highschool/middleschool students are retarded, it's obvious to any non-american.

>>34069732
>tfw none applied to me
feels good being a normal functioning young adult

>>34071668
Non-Americans are not real people.

>>34071713
Why are you here again?
oreeg

File: S5O1HSf.png (39KB, 914x1091px) Image search: [Google]

39KB, 914x1091px

>Tfw complete normalfag
>Tfw none of these apply to me anymore
Remember, the best way to make it is to beeee yourself

>>34071746
Non-Americans are the only people.
Visited america a lot of times, watched American TV shows when I was very little, went to an american elementary school and was taught in English by american teachers

I can conclude that American education system (and as a result, the students) is the most retarded shit ever.

>>34071822
>be foreigner
>drown yourself in American culture, learn everything about America, watch American entertainment, listen to American music, learn American language from Americans, constantly visit America.
>"Non-Americas are people."

>>34069732
I got almost all of them
>tfw mr spooky skeltal

File: M_05.jpg (54KB, 630x898px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 630x898px

>you are over 25 and live with your parents
>you don't have a job or school
>you masturbate to hentai
>BONUS: you masturbate to degenerate stuff like bestiality or loli
>you are over 18 and a virgin
>you use the term "normie" unironically
>you don't shower at least every two days
>you have never had a partner
>you are over 16 and have never kissed someone
>you are obese
>you unironically use the term "waifu"
>you don't go outside at least 5 days per week

Just waiting for the day i get kicked out of the house to kill myself...

File: 33747884883838.jpg (48KB, 720x646px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 720x646px

STANNNNNNNLEEEY

CAN YOU PLEASE RESPOND

DONT INGORE

DID YOU READ THIS

STAAAAAAAAAAANLEEEY

File: 8bg4abP.jpg (70KB, 393x325px) Image search: [Google]

70KB, 393x325px

>>34069732
>you are over 25 and live with your parents
checked
>you don't have a job or school
checked
>you haven't had a partner in over a year
checked
>you haven't had sex in over a year
checked
>you are over 18 and a virgin
checked
>you use the term "normie" unironically
checked
>you have never had a partner
checked
>you browse r9k every day
checked
>you play video games more than 2 hours a day on average
checked
>you don't go outside at least 5 days per week
checked

File: 123218978.jpg (6KB, 240x185px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 240x185px

>>34069732
>>you are over 25 and live with your parents
>>you don't have a job or school
>>you haven't had a partner in over a year
>>you haven't had sex in over a year
>>you are over 18 and a virgin
>>you use the term "normie" unironically
>>you have never had a partner
>>you are over 16 and have never kissed someone
>>you unironically believe the jews control the world in a shadow government
>>you browse r9k every day

w-well at least im not fat

>>34072135
>>you unironically believe the jews control the world in a shadow government

jew here

fuck you

File: 1469423593336.jpg (97KB, 435x435px) Image search: [Google]

97KB, 435x435px

>you haven't had a partner in over a year
>you haven't had sex in over a year
>you are over 18 and a virgin
>you have never had a partner
>you are over 16 and have never kissed someone
>you browse r9k every day

not bad r-right guys?

>>34072174
>jew here

GEE
I WONDER WHO IS BEHIND THIS POST

File: 1483743019576.png (529KB, 925x489px) Image search: [Google]

529KB, 925x489px

>tfw only 2
thank you jesus

>>34072174

I think you are the first stupid fucking jew I have ever met. Do you not get that OP is saying that believeing you lot run the world is a stupid idea, characteristic of being a functional fucking failure?

Be a mensch you meshugalodadugga and learn when you're actually being insulted oy vey de dei dei

signed,
anon who actually knows why jews and shit are were they are viz, Sowell's "middleman minorities" theories, but also knows that you are fucking shit people despite being sucessful because you're about as regressive as muslims and would be just as big a problem if there were more of you.

What does it mean if none of them apply to me?

>>34072613
It means you need to get out

>>34069732
11. Why, just why the fuck was I given this life.

File: disappoint.png (80KB, 272x199px) Image search: [Google]

80KB, 272x199px

>>34069732
>8 Points

I was gonna off myself eventually, anyway.

>>34069732
>you are over 25 and live with your parents
>you haven't had a partner in over a year
>you haven't had sex in over a year
>you masturbate to hentai
>BONUS: you masturbate to degenerate stuff like bestiality or loli
>you are over 18 and a virgin
>you use the term "normie" unironically
>you don't shower at least every two days
>you have never had a partner
>you are over 16 and have never kissed someone
>you browse r9k every day
>you watch anime more than 2 hours a day on average
>you unironically use the term "waifu"

Yet, life is pretty good.

>>34072613
i would like to direct to a board called /soc/, you'll find more of people like you there

>>34069732
>you haven't had a partner in over a year
>you haven't had sex in over a year
>you masturbate to hentai
I just need to get a gf and I'm good

File: 1466795897478.gif (783KB, 500x281px) Image search: [Google]

783KB, 500x281px

>>34069732

>you masturbate to hentai
>BONUS: you masturbate to degenerate stuff like bestiality or loli
>you use the term "normie" unironically
>you don't shower at least every two days
>you unironically believe the jews control the world in a shadow government
>you browse r9k every day
>you play video games more than 2 hours a day on average
>you watch anime more than 2 hours a day on average
>you unironically use the term "waifu"
>you don't go outside at least 5 days per week

get the fuck at me, fool

>>34069732

>you masturbate to hentai
>you use the term "normie" unironically
>you don't shower at least every two days
>you browse r9k every day
>you play video games more than 2 hours a day on average
>you unironically use the term "waifu"
>you don't go outside at least 5 days per week
How am I doing, lads?

>>34069732
um what's your problem dude?

>you are over 25 and live with your parents
>you haven't had a partner in over a year
>you haven't had sex in over a year
>you browse r9k every day
>you play video games more than 2 hours a day on average

>>34070345
Alright normie, now that you can live, GET THE FUCK OUT

>haven't had sex in over a year

File: tomo rapeface.png (664KB, 598x776px) Image search: [Google]

664KB, 598x776px

>>34070317
>well known for animating bestiality and loli in sfm and making good money off it.
hook me up nigggga

>>34070317

I make loli in daz, how do I monetize it?

>over 18 and still a virgin
>over 16 and kissless
>never had a partner
>obese
>use the word normie unironically
Why even try?

File: 1483996141751s.jpg (2KB, 125x101px) Image search: [Google]

2KB, 125x101px

>>34069732
xddddddddd
all but 4

>Only 1
Thank fucking christ

>>34069732

Let's see... I have only
1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-16.

I thought worse

Eh just 11 out of let's see....18.
Ouch kill me.

>you don't have a job or school
>you haven't had a partner in over a year
>you haven't had sex in over a year
>you are over 18 and a virgin
>you use the term "normie" unironically
>you don't shower at least every two days
>you have never had a partner
>you are over 16 and have never kissed someone
>you unironically believe the jews control the world in a shadow government
>you browse r9k every day
>you don't go outside at least 5 days per week

>>you don't have a job or school
>>BONUS: you masturbate to degenerate stuff like bestiality or loli
>>you use the term "normie" unironically
>>you don't shower at least every two days
>>you are obese
>>you browse r9k every day
>>you unironically use the term "waifu"
>>you don't go outside at least 5 days per week

These aren't good enough criteria fag

>>34069732
>you haven't had a partner in over a year
>you haven't had sex in over a year
>you are over 18 and a virgin
>you use the term "normie" unironically
>you have never had a partner
>you are over 16 and have never kissed someone

>you haven't had a partner in over a year
>you haven't had sex in over a year
>you are over 18 and a virgin
>you use the term "normie" unironically
>you have never had a partner
>you are over 16 and have never kissed someone
>you browse r9k every day
>you play video games more than 2 hours a day on average

>>34069732
>you are over 25 and live with your parents
>you haven't had a partner in over a year
>you browse r9k every day
>you don't go outside at least 5 days per week

>you haven't had a partner in over a year
>you haven't had sex in over a year
>you masturbate to hentai
>you are over 18 and a virgin
>you don't shower at least every two days
>you have never had a partner
>you are over 16 and have never kissed someone
>you browse r9k every day
>you watch anime more than 2 hours a day on average

pretty good average I guess

Rate me boys
23, male, Australia

>you haven't had a partner in over a year
>you masturbate to hentai
>BONUS: you masturbate to degenerate stuff like loli
>you use the term "normie" unironically
>you don't shower at least every two days
>you unironically believe the jews control the world in a shadow government
>you are obese
>you play video games more than 2 hours a day on average
>you watch anime more than 2 hours a day on average
>you unironically use the term "waifu"
>you don't go outside at least 5 days per week

File: 1391701874771.jpg (743KB, 950x800px) Image search: [Google]

743KB, 950x800px

>>34069732
>not in school
>haven't had a gf in two years
>21yo virgin
>masturbate to loli
>use the term "normie" unironically
>believe in shadow government
>play vidya more than hours per day (but that's only because nobody will hang out with me when I'm off work)

>>34069732
>you haven't had a partner in over a year
>you haven't had sex in over a year
>you masturbate to hentai
>BONUS: you masturbate to degenerate stuff like bestiality or loli
>you are over 18 and a virgin
>you have never had a partner
>you are over 16 and have never kissed someone
>you unironically believe the jews control the world in a shadow government

welp

>>34069732
>12 of those apply to me

how do I double kill myself?

>>34069732
>making checkboxes that automatically overlap if you get the severest one
please stop making polls forever

I hope your house burns down and that you're inside of it

File: 36547767.jpg (105KB, 409x409px) Image search: [Google]

105KB, 409x409px

>haven't had a partner in over a year
>haven't had sex in over a year
>am over 18 and a virgin
>use the term "normie" unironically
>never had a partner
>over 16 and have never kissed someone
>unironically believe that the jews control the world
>browse r9k daily
>play vidya over 2 hours a day

whew, I passed!

>>34069732
7 apply, so how should I do it anons? Was thinking livestream, not sure exactly where I want to go with it. Maybe dubs will give me an idea of how to shuffle off my mortal coil.

>>34069732
>you are over 25 and live with your parents
>you don't have a job or school
>you haven't had a partner in over a year
>you haven't had sex in over a year
>you are over 18 and a virgin
>you use the term "normie" unironically
>you don't shower at least every two days
>you have never had a partner
>you are over 16 and have never kissed someone

Score = 9

I feel like it was too easy to get that score. Many of these are redundant too or can't apply. If you haven't had a partner in over a year, you most likely havent had sex in over a year. You have to be at least 18 to post here, so there shouldn't be a question about being over 16 and not having kissed someone.

-29 year old kissless virgin

>>34069732
I didn't even need to read the the list to know I should kill myself

>>34079208
jeez dude, how the fuck do you get to 30 without any of that? You should've killed yourself at least 5 years ago.

>>34079286
Well I have a bachelor's degree, and I got laid off recently. It's sort of crazy how you can still end up a NEET even after years of work experience and education.

Feels bad to get laid off from a 20k a year job. Like I was too expensive at that price in Southern California? Like it takes a lot of money to get by here, and I know I live rent free with mommy and daddy, but still . . .

>>34069732
>you are over 25 and live with your parents
>you don't have a job or school
>you haven't had a partner in over a year
>you haven't had sex in over a year
>you are over 18 and a virgin
>you use the term "normie" unironically
>you don't shower at least every two days
>you have never had a partner
>you are over 16 and have never kissed someone
>you browse r9k every day
>you play video games more than 2 hours a day on average
>you unironically use the term "waifu"
>you don't go outside at least 5 days per week

eat shit normie

>>34069732
>you haven't had a partner in over a year
>you haven't had sex in over a year
>you masturbate to hentai
>BONUS: you masturbate to degenerate stuff like bestiality or loli
>you are over 18 and a virgin
>you have never had a partner
>you are over 16 and have never kissed someone
What do I win?

File: 1408315404909.png (21KB, 520x549px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 520x549px

>you don't have a job or school
>BONUS: you masturbate to degenerate stuff like bestiality or loli
>you use the term "normie" unironically
>you don't shower at least every two days
>you unironically believe the jews control the world in a shadow government
>you are obese
>you browse r9k every day
>you don't go outside at least 5 days per week

File: image.jpg (32KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 400x400px

>>34069732
>you unironically believe the jews control the world in a shadow government

KIKE SPOTTED

>>34069732
>you are over 25 and live with your parents
>you use the term "normie" unironically
>you browse r9k every day

close call.

>>34069732
>you haven't had a partner in over a year
>you haven't had sex in over a year
>you are over 18 and a virgin
>you have never had a partner
>you are over 16 and have never kissed someone
>you browse r9k every day
>you play video games more than 2 hours a day on average

fun time lads, time to end it

>>34069732
>you don't have a job or school
>you haven't had a partner in over a year
>you haven't had sex in over a year
>you masturbate to hentai
>you are over 18 and a virgin
>you use the term "normie" unironically
>you don't shower at least every two days
>you have never had a partner
>you are over 16 and have never kissed someone
>you unironically believe the jews control the world in a shadow government
>you browse r9k every day
>you play video games more than 2 hours a day on average
>you unironically use the term "waifu"
>you don't go outside at least 5 days per week

I don't want to kill myself; my family loves me and I love them so I don't want to hurt them, either. Also, I'm mommy's little helper with house chores :^)

is anyone gonna read all of these? let me know if you did

>>34069732

6 of those are the same thing


is that the trick?

>>34069732
>you are over 25 and live with your parents
>you haven't had a partner in over a year
>you haven't had sex in over a year
>you are over 18 and a virgin
>you use the term "normie" unironically
>you have never had a partner
>you are over 16 and have never kissed someone
>you browse r9k every day
>you play video games more than 2 hours a day on average

Still not killing myself. How about you kill yourself instead normalfaggot? I make 70k annually and still live in my parents basement because I don't see the point in moving out. How much do you make?

>>34069732
>you don't have a job or school
>you masturbate to hentai
>you use the term "normie" unironically
>you don't shower at least every two days
>you unironically believe the jews control the world in a shadow government
>you are obese
>you browse r9k every day
>you play video games more than 2 hours a day on average
>you don't go outside at least 5 days per week