Who else /alcoholic/? I can't admit I have a problem >3

>3 DUIs

absolute madman

>addicted to a guttertrash drug

>>34056579
Damn you one upped my loser friend. He has two dui's and a kid.

>>34056579
You live alone? Where you live anon? So we can be alcoholic togethers, I wish my mom was dead so my depression that she created will disappear forever. I'll be your friend, I wish I could live alone, that would be a dream come true

>>34056579
>>3 DUIs

Holy shit m8, I had one that I plead down to a careless driving and that still was a fucking nightmare.

I don't know. I might be.

I started at 19 and have been drinking nonstop to the point of blacking out since. I'm 21 next month. Gained 50 pounds. I feel an immense amount of regret every time I wake up to the point I want to kill myself now. Even if I just got drunk silently in my room, I can't remember anything and feel like I ruined my life and did something retarded.

Today I am sober which is very rare so I have a chance to reflect on these things. I say this as I'm just starting to drink an entire gigantic bottle of vodka. I don't think it'll make me happy, it doesn't anymore. If it's there I just feel like I have to do it. It's always there. I just got past the withdrawals and now I'm going to be drunk forever again.

I realized how much I've changed since I started drinking. Before I felt depressed and empty but I kept to myself. Man of few words. I liked my distance and being alone. Ever since I started drinking I've slowly become more stupid. Before I started drinking I would spend my time doing things I enjoyed. Now that I've started drinking I I do things I usually wouldn't enjoy at all and would think are a waste of time. Like socializing. I start out getting drunk alone in my room and find myself in the morning wanting to fucking die. I hate my life a lot more than before I started drinking. Before I could enjoy escapism. Now I can't. Now I am full-blown suicidal and an emotional trainwreck. I can't go a second without thinking, obsessing and getting intrusive thoughts 24/7 because I fucked up and said too much about myself to a lot of people I had to deal with on the regular. Before nobody in my life really had any clue who I was. I liked it that way. Now they know I'm a weak pathetic retard and a lot of life-ruining secrets I decided to share because I'm retarded. I had to abandon all of my friends, family and everybody I know because I was too ashamed. Had several mental breakdowns in front of them.

I want to go back to being empty inside.

You've identified the problem you have so you know what to change. Just get out there and do it.

You can have a healthy relationship with alcohol if you decide to stop hurting yourself with it

>>34056932
I guess I'm on my way to that, anon. Back in Summer I met a girl that entirely fucked my life up. Before I met her, I used to be a casual drinker, or just drank every weekend or when I had the next day off.

I got so confused and lost in her mixed signals that I read everything wrong and ended up getting MASSIVELY disappointed, I let her know about my feelings, and even thought she rejected me, she still continued to be my friend. I met her at work, I really got my hopes up with her, I got too close but I guess that it didn't mean shit to her. After she quit the job, I never saw her again, the last time I saw her and had her close to me was on July 24th, 2016. Ever since, I've been trying to meet up with her because I miss her, but she always gave me an excuse and turned me down. By seeing her Snapchats hanging out with better looking guys than me right after she gave me the excuse of being too busy, I felt like my world collapsed. Ever since, I've been heavily drinking every night, I've gained weight, I feel so bad all the time, and if I don't drink at night, I can't sleep because my anxiety will torture me until I gotta wake up in the morning feeling immensely depressed. At least alcohol knocks me out for 6 hours that I can get of sleep that are very useful to treat my stress and anxiety. Like you, I feel like I wanna die, I have no will to live and let alone a reason. I'm too coward to kill myself, I'll just wait here to see where my alcoholism will take me. I'm about to be homeless, so I guess that now is when life gets tough. Eventually, I know I'll end up killing myself, just don't know when I'm gonna have the balls.

>>34057123
Ah... I met a girl that fucked my life up when I was 9. She disappeared when I was 12. I met another girl who fucked my life up when I was 15. She disappeared when I was 18.

Do men like us really kill ourselves? We always say eventually.

That was one of my problems. Getting "too close." It felt like I was getting closer and they were getting farther away. At the same time, it felt I was getting further away from myself.

I gotta drink in the morning from sun up to sun down, although I drink heavily in the night so I can knock myself out.

I tried the homeless thing and didn't last very long. I went homeless with the plan of killing myself, "EVENTUALLY."

After I reached the end of my pitiful survival I finally spent an entire night debating jumping and couldn't do it and cried and blacked out. I'm planning on leaving here now and I think somewhere new might help. It feels claustrophobic here with the bad memories. If I can be alone in the forest for awhile I think I'll start to change for the better.

"I think, I'll do it, eventually, once I finish this drink..."

>>34056889
I live like 10 min outside of Philadelphia

>lowest form of addiction
do you know how many junkies there are. But the one thing about alcohol is you can die from withdraw do a taper. cut out one drink out of your day per week

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78KB, 1024x491px

>>34056799
Fpbp

I feel u OP

t. weed/cigarettes/dip/amphetamines addict

>>34057465
Damn anon, you really need at least female company, that would make you feel 60% better. Trust me. Sometimes females are the ones who fuck our lives up, but sometimes they are the ones who enhance it as well. I wish I could hang out with someone like you, because we pretty much have the same mindset and are going exactly through the same thing, so you don't fight the battle alone. I can't tell you not to kill yourself, because I know the feeling, there's no reason or will to live, I feel the same way. Just hang in there a little bit, maybe life will get better. That's what I keep telling myself when I have suicidal thoughts. Those thoughts are nowhere near good

Getting there Anon. I drink heavily every weekend, my weekly ritual includes tripping on lsd once a week and then drinking myself to sleep for 1 to 2 days after. 18 or so 5 % beers for those days. I always crave being drunk and I can feel my mental state degrading. I have been doing this for 1.5 years.

no. alcohol is for degenerates. you guys should seek jesus. your life arent completely wasted yet. there is hope.

>>34056579
start taking camprall, saved my life. You also need to work on the issues that make you drink at the same time, camprall alone won't fix you

not sure if I'm getting sick or I'm finally at the point of physical addiction

either one sucks

>>34056579
Worse; heroin.

>no one can help me
go to a twelve step program and get a sponsor

you obviously can admit you have a problem, you just did