Just saw a marine recruiter today, took a little pre asvap test

>>34049736
He's checking for mental illnesses.
Don't act too interested

>>34049736
Marine recruiters are shit. They are lying to you in order to fill their quota.


t. Marine

Join the Coast Guard instead OP

>>34049844
Is this the same in the airforce? I'm interested in enlisting after i finish college

>>34049736

Holy crud! It's literally militarized memes... Include me in the screencap and for the record dried cow fetus is a really good meme. Maybe not as good as Pepe but still good enough for some of you suckers to post it once and a while...

>>34049883
The recruiters are vastly better, just meet one and see for yourself

>>34049736
New DoD training to spot potential security threats, it's coined Operation Sperg Spotter I believe. Most recruiters get the rundown so they don't help create another Pvt.Pyle

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>4chan has affected this generation so much that the only effective way to recruit is by learning "4chan culture"
>Tfw Trump starts ww3 and there are "we want you" recruiting posters featuring pepe, all over the place
What a time to be alive.

>>34049736
I saw you in a different thread
Cyberdefence lmao faggot

>>34050017
Trump recruits all 4chan losers and betas for war... all nu males stay at country and breed another generation of liberals....
another liberal hell hole for 200 years.

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Don't be the recruit who steals peanut butter from the chow hall.

>>34049736
You do know the internet is easy enough to get onto that even a non-matured person can access it right?
You're surprised a matured adult can??

>>34049844
That's all recruiters. Marines just have the hardest thing to sell (or the easiest for a certain segment of people).

>>34049888
>>34049736
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU JOINING THE MARINES IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN COMPUTERS
I just got done speaking with my Air Force recruiter and scheduled for MEPS

I just let him do the talking, he told me AF physical is a joke and the only actual roiders are try hards. Everything about the AF is shorter, better for less physical activity and more career oriented.

For fucks sake man unless you're a meathead don't go through 13 week BMT with fucking assholes and even less guarenteed to stay doing your given job.

The recruiter will tell you all about how great life is in the military. You will travel the world, get free college, make 35k. Bullshit, you'll spend your life in some shitty fort/camp in the middle of bumfuck Germany or some other UN shithole. Also marines are the first to die, literally cannon fodder tier. The few the proud cause the majority got blown up and shredded with bullets trying to take the first town.

>>34051781
Lol reread my quote man i said i was interested in joining the airforce as well.Just wanted to know what to expect once i finish college

>>34052136

That sounds awesome living in germany, italy, japan at bases even if the pay sucks. Can't be worse than wage cucking.

>>34051781
Isn't there a waitlist to join the AF or was that a myth/not true anymore?

>>34049736
>job is selling shit to directionless, 19 year old boys
>not knowing what 4chan is

>>34050056
No, you didn't?????????????????????????????? i dont post lol

>>34051781
>>34052178
All recruiters will twist the truth. It's what they do.

That said, AF is a solid move if you're looking to break into IT. They'll pay for your cert tests, give you job experience, and hook you up with sweet clearances for lucrative government contract jobs when you get out.

I was a SSgt in the server administration career field for a six year enlistment if you guys have any questions. Can't really speak much as to what the officer experience is like though.


>>34052182
Pay is shit, yeah, but they'll pay your rent and give you extra money to cover cost of living. Plus there's a lot of free shit like healthcare and tuition fees. It adds up.

>>34052207
My recruiter told me i can ship as early as 3-4 months so guess not
But i don't drink or smoke and I'm clean as fuck with an okay score on the practice (its in the 90s)

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>>34052499
How difficult is it to get into the AF if you can piss clean and score high but might have some legal issue (drug misdemeanor arrest; no charges)

should I just b myself/talk to a recruiter or what

>>34052497
Yeah but if it's supposed to be the most coveted branch he legit coulda let me get disqualified from mixing something up. I always hear they get waves of recruits from outside sources. So why they need a twist?

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>>34049736
yes, good goy .... uh I mean guy have fun fighting for Israel.... uh I mean freedom

>>34052534
>might have some legal issue (drug misdemeanor arrest; no charges
Disqualified already. Just give up
My recruiter told me I'm not even allowed to know people who have committed a crime.

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>>34052616
I knew there's a reason I feel like I should just join the muhreenz instead

>>34052635
Yeah I forgot this board is full of people social enough to get arrested and do drugs.
I rarely go outside and drinking/smoking is a waste of time to be honest

>>34049736
people in the army are away from normal society for a long time around mostly other young boys.

>>34052136
>get paid to do nothing in comfy rural Germany

>currently in the largest, niggest, brightest, hottest, most spread out, humid, high-strung, working city in the south

>>34052561
Most recruiters want to meet or exceed their quotas. They'll try to trick you in, not out, but I think they're legally required to auto disqualify you for certain things like if you mention you committed a federal crime.

I think a lot of it depends on ASVAB score too? I don't know, when I went through MEPS I had to get a medical waiver because my retinas could apparently detach at any moment and they still pushed me through and I think it might've been because I scored high.

Also keep in mind that the Air Force gets a lot of recruits, but I think they have a higher loss rate too. A lot of the career field translate to well paying civilian jobs so people leave after their first enlistment is up.

>>34052687
>I rarely go outside and drinking/smoking is a waste of time to be honest
hey good for you

>>34052534
>How difficult is it to get into the AF if you can piss clean and score high but might have some legal issue (drug misdemeanor arrest; no charges)

You might be okay to join, but that could cause some trouble with the security clearance that a lot of the better jobs require. They're super picky about that stuff.

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>>34052964
I just want to be a basic bitch IT guy (or cybersecurity if I could do that without an SC), im not looking to be some kinda special snowflake desk operator

>>34052999
I think all cyber jobs require eligibility for TS. You might be okay with just a misdemeanor if it happened long enough ago, but I don't know enough about whatever arcane process they use to decide these things.


Also don't go cybersec. It's a meme job and from what I've seen they just run vulnerability scans and dick around with spreadsheets all day. Go cyber transport or cyber ops and then if you want to do cool security stuff, transition to 1B.

>>34052999
You won't be allowed to touch a computer to do anything more than word docs without a clearance in the military.

Secret clearance isn't so bad, but to be honest I'm pretty sure they're going to dq you for the drug charges.

>>34052833
Oh I see. I honestly didn't expect my recruiter to be as helpful as he was, was just sliding paperwork past me and came up with a date for MEPS as soon as I asked how soon I can go. He even told me to gain to make sure I don't get DQed for being too close to cutoff weight.

I did however tell him I wasn't going reserves and wanted a full time military career. Not sure what to believe anymore since he did warn me about another recruiter who DQs people for any little thing.

>>34052839
If you got arrested for it there's no merit. But excuse me, just being a loser.

>>34052964
Probably depends on his recruiter but what recruiter wants to do more paperwork? I know they do a phone call and ask you questions who knows if they will not even allow you to explain what the arrest was aboot. He will have an easier time joining another branch

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>>34053114
>>34053122
So should I even bother to join the .mil at all, or will every branch dq me, even if I pick an MOS/rate that doesn't need an SC?

I literally have 1 other option besides enlisting, and that's just sitting around on my duff waiting until my grandma dies so I can inherit her house.

>>34050492
Yeah this robot marine knows. Dont. Dont try to hide it either. Theyll find it

>tfw the fattest fuck in my platoon of course tried
>we beat the shit out of him after lights

I sperg out over artillery, what is the best way to ensure I get into the artillery? Hopefully as an officer but jfc I need to shell things to feel alive again.

>>34053138
They have to disqualify you for certain things. I know one guy got DQ'd because he mentioned that he used to throw rocks at trains or some stupid shit and apparently that's a federal crime so that was it.

They're certainly not going to disqualify you for wanting to go active duty over reserves though.

>>34053269
>artillery
So are you reenlisting after or what lol

>>34053190

My dad was a huge fuckup in the military and they didn't kick him out. Drug use, drunkenness, you name it. But this is a little different since he served in Vietnam, though I'm pretty sure they won't kick you out/dq you if you clean your shit up.

>>34053289
Holy shit how autistic do you need to be to say you throw rocks at trains?

>>34053304
My dream job would be to sit in Eastern Europe indefinitely waiting to shell someone stupid enough to start anything. I could unironically spend years doing that.

>>34053190
I don't think a misdemeanor is a deal breaker for joining. Try Air Force. Study for the ASVAB and ace it. You might be able to get a med job which I've heard are the chillest in the service.

And if that doesn't work out, the Army will pretty much take anyone.

>>34053320
It's a 5 year old misdemeanor arrest and there was no conviction/charge since I'm super cool like that

I don't do drugs (or even drink) anymore and all I want to do is just be productive

>sex offenders can get a job (and probably enlist) no problem
>I have to jump through hoops just for a chance at an interview or at maybe being considered for enlistment

really made me think

>>34053350
I was oreganolly considering a medical job but I've been super discouraged lately finding out that the DoD/.mil will be super picky with me no matter how high I score on the ASVAB

my friend scored a 97 on his "practice" test, and him and I are more or less equal on intelligence, so I'm hoping I could score at least a mid 80

>>34053321
I guess it's a big thing in parts of the Midwest?
The point is don't get too chatty and mention anything that might seem iffy and you'll be fine. Recruiters want to get you in.

>>34053336
That's cool man. I definitely intend to reenlist too
Right wing deaths squads imho

>>34053371

>It's a 5 year old misdemeanor arrest and there was no conviction/charge

Then what the fuck is the problem? Did you open your mouth about it or something, because that's the only way they would ever know.

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>>34053371
>>sex offenders can get a job (and probably enlist) no problem
Women scream rape for every little thing and brainwash children to lie too. Hello?? I'm sure it is rare for a legitimate sex offender to want to join the military. I say rare not meaning 3 or 4, but that unfortunate hundreds of thousands.

Honestly I'm overall sympathetic towards men today. Plus you can get caught naked somewhere and get registered.

But drugs or lets say drunk driving drunk violence are just the worst traits for military men. You gonna drink if you get deployed somewhere full of hijabs and better to not hurt yourself or others.

>>34053371
you probably won't get let it. it would only take 5 seconds to go in and ask though. I was in a similar situation like you where i had a drug charge but was never convicted but they didn't let me in.

>>34053446
>Plus you can get caught naked somewhere and get registered.

maybe if you're a bro beard

>>34052587

>fighting

nice meme

>>34053371
Don't lie about anything on gubment record. If. The arrest was cleared or not on file you should be fine. But if it's on file somewhere and you try to get TS clearance ur fuked

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>>34053506
What do you mean silly gentile? You don't want to die for your greatest ally like a real patriot?

>>34053432
havent stepped foot in a recruiter's office yet, just want to know whether I should bother or if I'm just gonna embarrass myself and waste someone's time

>>34053446
Ok but legitimate sex offenders can get a job in civilian life ez-pz no problemo, meanwhile I can't and I literally (LITERALLY) don't do drugs or even drink

really making me thinkaroni there, roasterino

>>34053448
>can't get a job
>can't become a bulletsponge for Uncle Schmuley
>supposed to be okay with this, even though sex offenders can get jobs mopping up human shit at McDonalds (something I'd settle as "the bare minimum" for)

really making me thinkerino here

>>34053510
apparently I might not even have the opportunity to lie

so

>>34053531
you can still get a job. only being a convicted felon would make it hard.

>>34053246
I watched full metal jacket too bud

>>34053531
Okay before you talk to a recruiter its good you're here. I posted for help here before I spoke to mine. Result? I said NOTHING and that was that.

Best advice is to say nothing and answer NO the questions are extremely generic. When they call you say no to everything. If you wear glasses ir contacts don't even fucking explain why you wear them. Be vague or say no.

But like I said before, they are telling you that if you do lie and withold the truth, make sure it's not on file and that you won't need a TS if it is. But you want computers so you most likely will.

I won't stop you from trying. But once you get DQd from one branch it turns into a YES answer you don't want on your application.

Honestly bro just make sure it's not on record but from what I know, saying yes to almost anything gets you DQ. I was about to say I had some rashes on my hand and I politely got told to "shut up retard just play along" it wasn't even serious and they didn't want me to even bother mentioning it.

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>>34053571
It must be something else since I'm not even getting interviews (or hired when I get an interview).

maybe it's my autism

>>34053661
So...lie, but don't lie?

sheeit

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if they ask you to take the dlab don't do it. If you like languages and foreign culture go ahead, but if you don't, run far away

>>34053767
Just do a background check on yourself to make sure lol

I wouldn't mind knowing another future airman from r9k anywho

>>34053813
>if they ask you to take the dlab don't do it. If you like languages and foreign culture go ahead, but if you don't, run far away
Please explain
My recruiter pushed it to me

>>34053767
Just don't disclose any unnecessary information. Don't ask don't tell, basically.

Unless you're going for a clearance. Then you should disclose. Clearances are handled by a separate federal agency and if you have something on record they will find it. They'll even call up people who knew you in the past and grill them on stuff, so don't risk trying to slip something through. Again that's only for the clearance, which is not required for the vast majority of military jobs.

>>34053813
I almost fell for that ruse.
>>34053851
I hear the tech school is hell. Plus it really limits your options on bases.

>>34053870
How do you know If you have specific things on your medical record? I'm prob going to avoid high clearance for some loose suggestions from some doctors. I don't know what qualifies as a legitimate diagnosis for things that aren't physically but I do believe I'm medically sound and was just at a low point and pressured by family that I was sick

>>34053891
Really? Guess I'm going far from computer shit

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>>34053828
>>34053870
Guess I'll just do something that doesn't require a clearance? And then on top of that, I took/had a prescription for antidepressants for about 1-2 years from a local doc after I turned 18

some robots in another thread said I should just "go to the next town over and make a doc from that town your doctor" or something

I'm just worried that I'll jump through all these hoops and not even be able to get in

>>34049888
>enlisting
>after college
NONONONONONO
DO NOT

go to OCS for the love of god. Shit will be so much better than enlisting

>>34053851

You'll be in school to learn a language for a year or more, surrounded by subhumans and superhumans alike, the latter of which will steal all the women, and the former of which be so hygienically revolting you'll wish you were back in BMT. Also the curriculum is like trying to drink from a fire hose without spilling a single drop. Oh and mandatory 6 year contract.

>>34053982
>goes from misdemeanor to using prescription drugs for 1-2 years consistently
Jesus christ man how far does the rabbit hole go? We're tryna help you here and you haven't even listed all 100% disqualifiers to withhold
Doctors usually transfer medical records unless you don't tell them, but what about insurance records
Someone help this man

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>>34050351
>implying we'd breed otherwise

>>34054066
>haha get a load of this pathetic faggot, he was on antidepressants for 2 years
>>he posts this on /r9k/

I like how normans like you will never know what it's like to be a lost cause, but you keep losers like me around so you can feel better about yourselves

I wasn't on insurance and I paid straight cash because I was also a fucking poorfag in addition to being a robot

>>34054040
Alright thanks man definitely avoiding it like the plague. I'm going for 6 years anyways but I have no interest in being limited even more

>>34053924
Not sure. They'd probably put something like that under a pretty intense lens if it came up, but it's not a completely sterile process. You'll be interviewed and your references will be interviewed so you'll have a chance to explain things like that.

>>34054110
>norman
Hey fuck you I was a fucking hikkikomori for a couple of years never left long enough or gave a shit to do things other than playing video games and shitposting. You think you're a loser? Try frequently making tendie and pepe threads every single fucking day while wrapped in a blanket and not showering for months on end.
You're a pathetic loser? Do you even hate women? Fuck you. I'm the REAL robot here. Been posting every single day for 7 fucking years man

>>34054182
I never made tendies threads because those kinds of things were what brought reddit and tumblr here in the first place.

dont be rude

>>34049736

wow newsflash fucking pepe shit was a plebbit tier meme by end of 2013 you newfaggots

>>34053952
No, computer shit is best job.
DLab is for translators.

>>34054218

you are right, stop replying to him, he is a newfaggot trying too hard

>>34054166
Okay cool. It was something that happened when I was already 19 and only lasted a couple of months to which I got told I don't need medication and it's minor shit based off of writing if I had trouble making friends. Aka bullshit. As soon as my head scan was crystal clean I left.

>>34054300
The interview part was just for the clearance mind you.

For the actual recruitment process, I don't know really know how it works. But keep in mind that literal gang members manage to join the military so it probably isn't too intense.

>>34054218
>that brought x and x to our board
No that's not even true. Don't know why hipster faggots like you want to pretend people came to our board because of some meme.
They came to the board because on October fucking 1st some jackass posted his school shooting intent on r9k with a pepe image.

Before then people were absolutely revolted by the board and didn't care.

>>34054220
>this is probably the same person who posts in tranny fag threads and is a closet homosexual

>>34054300
Bottom line: Go in, talk to a recruiter, don't lie, but don't disclose unnecessary info. Score well on the ASVAB and be in decent shape.

Also according to
http://www.military.com/join-armed-forces/military-recruiting-process-faqs.html
Nothing you have is grounds for automatic disqualification. It might trip a few flags, but a high ASVAB score can slot you for in demand jobs so they might overlook it.

Do a little research, talk to some current recruiters on a forum or something, and give it a shot.
There's a lot of things I hated about the Air Force, but it's actually a great choice for directionless robots.