[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | Extra juicy! | Home]

I'm never going to get laid.

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

Thread replies: 139
Thread images: 26

File: zzzz.png (149KB, 531x924px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
zzzz.png
149KB, 531x924px
I'm never going to get laid.
>>
Just tell her you wanna fuck.
>>
It hurts to watch
You even sound gay.
>>
>>24074112
You're doing all the talking nigga. That's a major turn off. Text has to be a balanced dance, one person plays off the other, batting the ball of conversation back and forth, never letting it stagnate for too long on one topic.

That's if you want a girl to be interested in you romantically. If you wanna bang then by the time you start texting her she's made up her mind whether or not you're getting in her pants anytime within the next 6 months.
>>
>>24074112
God damn I cringed.

Do you not realize you are acting like (are) a beta orbiter? It's over for you. She decided she wasn't fucking you a long time ago.
>>
To think you could have just said

"Hey, see Spectre with me Friday night"
>>
>awwww yeee! I'll put those brownies right next to the hot cocoa!

WHY
DID
YOU
SAY
THIS
>>
>>24074209
She probably sent that to her friends laughing her ass off haha
>>
jesus christ lol fresh cringe. hope this is bait. you need to change everything you do with girls if this is serious. coming from a virgin
>>
>>24074112
you talk too much bruh
>>
File: image.jpg (2MB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
image.jpg
2MB, 3264x2448px
Guys help do I have gyno or just fat titties
>>
Awwwwww yeeeeeee!
>>
>>24074112

post more from earlier in the convo
>>
>haha

Why is this said EXCLUSIVELY by betas? Jesus christ. How sad is it that you can tell so much about someone from a few lines of conversation.
>>
>>24074209
This, what the fuck. Who says this? The fuck does it even mean?
>>
OP, you made me cringe and I hope you'll kill yourself you stupid faggot.

>>24074182
This sounds incredibly gay but it's also true.
>>
File: rLibJ9W.jpg (693KB, 1080x1920px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
rLibJ9W.jpg
693KB, 1080x1920px
relax. you text too much. you come off as clingy, look at her response. you should never text more than the woman. text more than 110% ten percent of the time, text less than 90% ninety percent of the time.
>>
>>24074273

haha is objectively better than lol unless you're 12.
>>
File: 1427583158959.jpg (17KB, 237x250px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1427583158959.jpg
17KB, 237x250px
>>24074209
>>24074209
>awwww yeee! I'll put those brownies right next to the hot cocoa!
>awwww yeee! I'll put those brownies right next to the hot cocoa!
>awwww yeee! I'll put those brownies right next to the hot cocoa!
>>
>>24074332
>objectively better

Get a load of this nerd lol
>>
>>24074332
haha and hehe are indicators of mental disease. Use emojis, if you're speaking with a normie.
>>
god dammit OP
>>
>>24074344
The cringiest conversations I've ever seen consist of a female typing with normal spelling, grammar, and punctuation and the guy is typing shit like:
>*pounces on you and wraps paws around you i a bear hug* RAWR!! I missed you since our last conversation Katie >:3. You went to bed before I could tell ya about this cool new anime I started watchin' 0.0
>>
>>24074344

I'd rather speak to people that aren't pathetic OR normies.
>>
File: 1426221049799.jpg (43KB, 604x516px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1426221049799.jpg
43KB, 604x516px
You should have said

>"How many more brownie points do I need to cum in more mouth?"

You would be in, tbqh.
>>
>>24074182
women make that choice with in the first half min or meet a man if they would or not

the more we know
>>
File: image.jpg (47KB, 201x364px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
image.jpg
47KB, 201x364px
>>24074112
Why is there a heart next to her name? Dude your putting her on a pedestal. Major turn off for girls and they can detect it. Start being less available to her, even if she starts to want you more, keep being less available. "Women are stupid and don't know what they want." Best advice my dad ever gave me.
>>
>>24074112
She was probably being fucked by Chad while texting you at the same time tb,h fa.m
>>
>>24074462
>first half min
I'm sure it takes less time than that.

>check height
>check face
>check muscles
>hear voice

I'm not a woman but I'm pretty sure that's mostly what they look for. Clothing is important too but nice clothes won't help an ugly manlet.
>>
yeah no op you're doing shit
>>
>>24074112
Does your name start with a "P"?
>>
>speaking almost entirely in fixed expressions

That's autism, anon.
You are pretty much the model orbiter
>>
>>24074543
yes, it is, [email protected]
>>
File: waht.png (393KB, 587x438px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
waht.png
393KB, 587x438px
Holy fuck, she dodged the question

JUST
>>
>>24074613
did you meet this girl recently?
>>
>>24074680
of course, [email protected] Within the last month.
>>
>>24074662
Do i
>>
>>24074662
dude yes goddamn. did you drink a lot of mtn dew or something?
>>
>>24074253
You don't have gyno

Just some fat
>>
>>24074739
Any ways to target it?
>>
>>24074772
Exercise.

Eating less food.
>>
>>24074772
yeah spot reduction
>>
pretend shes a guy
>>
>>24074785
How's that work? My chest is actually pretty hard when I flex it if that means anything
>>
>>24074785
dont listen to this faggot spot reduction is a myth use google
>>
pretend shes a guy senpai
>>
>>24074709
like, over halloween weekend when you were out of town?
>>
Dork. I cannot beleif that anyone would write that. I am not even sure if a guy is involved here. Is it two faggots?
>>
>>24074952
No, not then tbqh
>>
>>24074253
ngl I would fuck the absolute shit out of you
>>
> "awwww yeeee!!"

what are you, 10 years old? where did you get the fucking idea to type that, never mind the shit you typed immediately after.

you fucking lost right then and there. you basically outed yourself as a huge fucking biopussy faggot for talking like that. you friendzoned yourself bitch, seriously. i can't believe you thought typing bullshit like that would work in your favor.
>>
>>24074916
i did this and it didn't work out well. called one of my female friends a nigger and she got triggered. pretty much stopped talking to me after that.

women can't handle the bantz. don't even bother.
>>
>>24075446

> not pursuing a girl who despises black people

that's where you fucked up, my gf calls black people apes and monkeys all the time behind closed doors
>>
lmao get fucking rekt mh370
>>
>>24074112
Guys, is there some way I can test if I'm or not a dog?
>>
File: 1441890663801.jpg (13KB, 480x468px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1441890663801.jpg
13KB, 480x468px
>>24074112
>this texting

Holy shit, OP
I am shaking my head family.
Pro-tip:Be less of a fag a lot less
>>
>>24074112
>Casually ignoring the question is she wanna watch the movie

Classic.
>>
File: 1438528188882.png (76KB, 441x411px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1438528188882.png
76KB, 441x411px
>>24074112
it's almost impressive how much of a kek you are OP
>>
>>24074112
should have asked her to see a better movie bruh
>>
File: image.jpg (25KB, 481x347px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
image.jpg
25KB, 481x347px
>>24074209
>opsfw
>>
>>24074662
No, you are just fat fatass
>>
When you asked her to go out, why did you then type a huge wall of irrelevant shit afterwards about work? You just confused her and made her reply to that instead.
>>
Ask her if she wants to come over and drink with you then fuck her when she's wasted. That's how I got laid.
>>
>>24076791
Isn't it obvious?

OP sent a message asking her on a date to which she didn't reply then he tried to save his ass

I remember doing stupid shit like this in highschool before I eventually gave up. I asked a girl out, got rejected then texted her the next morning pretending like it was an accident and I was asking my cousin to go to the gym with me... then I called her when she texted back "what?" and kept the ruse going ARRGHH There's no way in hell she bought it
>>
File: original.jpg (24KB, 335x352px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
original.jpg
24KB, 335x352px
>>24074209
hehehehehe originality
>>
>>24074112
>Laura <3

I can forgive everything else, but I'm deducting brownie points for this
>>
>>24074646
he made her dodge it. fuckin rookie
>>
>>24077375
It's his own personal computing device. It doesn't require social skills, anon.
>>
>>24074344
Haha and lol and emojis are fine.

Hehe is straight up autism.
>>
>putting a heart next to her name
>there's clearly no romantic/sexual side to your relationship

Why would you do this?
>>
>>24074112

OP it's really not that hard to NOT sperg out if you want to ask a girl out.
>>
>>24079606
How exactly is that asking out to a date?
>>
File: 1379442012131.png (13KB, 952x674px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1379442012131.png
13KB, 952x674px
>>24079606
i hope this is bait

if not kill youreselve you dickless prick

>these are people who comnplain all women are sluts yet no woman will fuck them
>>
AWWWWW YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE OP!
>>
>>24079687
>get her number
>just me and her on our own going shopping for some stuff for a party
>then going to said party together

i don't know m8 what do you think it is.
>>
>>24079606
Still kinda beta desu senpai, should've requested the number rather than asking and explaining why you were asking.
>>
>>24079723
>bro science pickup artist "advice"

lol

yeah probably a mistake to post that anyways.
>>
who /awwwww yeee/ here
>>
>>24079746
enjoy wanking it into your anime pillow and crying yourself to sleep later that night

not even that guy
>>
>>24079746
Its not broscience, just slightly beta imo.
Would you have explained to a guy why you were asking for his number when it was so clearly obvious? Were you afraid she would think you're gonna stalk her?
>>
>>24079722
What exactly do you think is going to happen in a shop? You're going to follow her around for an hour as she tries on the whole store and bores you to death. Sounds a lot like friendzone to me.
>>
>>24079782
This. Just b/c you hang out with a girl doesn't mean it's a date
>>
just be yourself ;^)
bloxx
>>
>>24079811
>>24079782
>>24079764
>>24079707
>>24079687

My god no wonder you guys are angry turbo virgins. Not even that guy.
>>
File: 1435263422213.gif (243KB, 255x255px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1435263422213.gif
243KB, 255x255px
>>24079877
Yeah, i'll bet.
>>
File: image.png (773KB, 640x1136px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
image.png
773KB, 640x1136px
>>24074209
>>24074232
>>>>awww yeaaaa!

>>>> PUT THESE BROWNIES NEXT TO SOME HOT COCOA
>>
File: 1441335632580.jpg (24KB, 480x516px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1441335632580.jpg
24KB, 480x516px
>>24079606
this is almost worse than OP. At least OP knows he failed. wa wa wa waaaaaaa
>>
>>24074112
I literally take dicks in my butt and enjoy it and this is the gayest thing I've seen
>>
>>24079515
>lol is fine

What is this, 2008?
>>
>>24074253
Barely noticeable. You don't know true hell until your nipples stick out like cones. Gyno is hell.
>>
>>24074112

Dude keep your texts simple and nonchalant. Keep a flow of topics and shit, but skip the corny ass jokes and long winded explanations.
>>
>>24080211
pics. I want to see your beta cones
>>
>>24074112

now this is kekracing
>>
>>24075705
Yes. Get hit by a car and you'll know if you're a dog because if an ambulance shows up you're human but if animal control shows up, you're a dog.
>>
>>24074662
No faggot. You look okay.
>>
>>24074273
>>24074332
>>24074343
>>24074344
The only way to 'laugh' over text while retaining any shame is (O)HOHOHOHO.
>>
>>24074112
>hit the hay
>>
At least you make money and have someone to text, you gigantic faglord. Most of us don't even have that.
>>
>>24074398
No, but you've got some weird scoliosis ribs.
>>
>>24074209

We are witnessing the birth of a meme
>>
>>24077375
That's going to make his hot cocoa feel lonely
>>
File: image.jpg (41KB, 780x882px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
image.jpg
41KB, 780x882px
>>24080438
Did you say new meme anon?
>>
File: 547.gif (32KB, 350x198px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
547.gif
32KB, 350x198px
EVERY SCREEN SHOT OF ROBOTS TEXTING GIRLS IS THE SAME

>GIRL: word word word word

>ROBOT: word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word

>GIRL: word word

>ROBOT: word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word

*two minutes later*


>ROBOT (again): word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word

>GIRL: word


EVERY SINGLE TIME. LITERALLY EVERY TIME. WHY? WHY DO YOU ALL DO THIS
>>
>>24074312
wtfniggaaa
>>
>>24080559
this post is true everyone post your own examples
>>
>>24074112
Ok this was cringy af, but you'll gotta admit that the pussy game is ridiculously hard nowadays. Everything has to be calculated and just perfect. I'm sure, that he things our grandpas were saying to our grandmas were surely even more beta and somehow it worked. The competition is insane, jewish propagnda does its job. Some anon said that nowadays the top 20% of males fucks 80% of females, and other 80% of males compete for the leftovers. This is very unsettling.
>>
File: 1400971495187.jpg (54KB, 1245x339px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1400971495187.jpg
54KB, 1245x339px
>>24081069
It is indeed very unsettling.

But it's just normal female behaviour when left to their own devices. It has been proven time and time again in social experiments.

Boys will share equally with all of the girls, but girls will only share with the most dominant alpha males of the group.
>>
>>24074112
>Ask girl if she wants to hang out
>She avoids answering the question
Sorry man, but you're an orbiter.
>>
File: 1446448925902.jpg (42KB, 440x468px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1446448925902.jpg
42KB, 440x468px
>>24074112

>awwww yeee!
>awesomest

I'm sure glad I'm not OP right now.
>>
>>24074813
Stop believing in spot reduction. Your beta genetics will govern where you lose fat.
The only thing left is to start doing cardio to lose overal body fat.
>>
>>24074813
if anything your chest muscles are hurting you
my chest kinda looks similar because I'm a weak faggot who goes to the gym
I barely have any fat
don't worry about it sempai. if you lift or lose weight it will go away because it isn't actually gyno
>>
>>24080438

B R O W N I E S

R


O

W

N

I

E

S
>>
File: 1408033818413.png (129KB, 724x611px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1408033818413.png
129KB, 724x611px
>>24082868

Just a few more brownie points and OP can sleep at the foot of her bed instead of in the cvck kennel.
>>
>>24074112
>yee

it's like you actually want to become a wizard
>>
>Talking to girl
>Normally shitting myself at thought of conversation, but for whatever reason act confident and laid back
>She texts me later that night
>"Hey anon your accent really turns me on"
>Realise what's happening, resort back to beta self, change the topic

First and last time any girl has flirted with me. Or maybe she was just fucking with me I don't know
>>
>>24080559
Trying too hard. The conversation is supposed to naturally flow if she is interested in you (this also goes for platonic relationships as well) and women talk more than men.
>>
File: 1446770669189.png (130KB, 268x265px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1446770669189.png
130KB, 268x265px
>>24084712
teach us more might normie so that we might learn
>>
>>24074112
I mean, not by her. But you probably could in general.
>>
>>24079877
>My god no wonder you guys are angry turbo virgins
HA go choke on your dog's cock, pretentious sack of shit.
>>
>>24079877
what's a turbo virgin? is a cool meme you just made up?
>>
>>24080332
wow this fucking killed me
>>
File: image.jpg (49KB, 340x565px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
image.jpg
49KB, 340x565px
>>24074209
>awwww yeee! I'll put those brownies right next to the hot cocoa!
>>
>>24079606
you did good all these fags are just jealous
>>
>>24074112

What a fucking homo.

OP, just delete her from your contacts. Don't talk to her unless she initiates conversation. You will gain nothing by continuing to talk to a love interest who has no desire to reciprocate your feelings.

I have a girlfriend now. In fact, I do relatively well with women, though I was once a completely and utterly autistic mess. Here's what you do:

>if a woman doesn't respond to one of your texts, do NOT text her again
>if you feel it's appropriate to text her again after a while and she doesn't respond, cut that bitch out of your contacts and delete the messages so you can't contact her again
>if she contacts you again, cool, give it a while and respond
>if you're not fulfilling any of your goals within quick order, just give up, nothing is going to change and you're probably just her emotional crutch

Never let a girl put you in a friendzone. It's a waste of your time. If you're in it, walk the fuck away from her unless you genuinely don't care whether or not you two are gonna bang or date. Also:

>texting girls for fun

Never do this unless, again, you have no interest in banging or dating. Don't have casual phone conversations via text or voice with girls you don't know well. You can have cutsie conversations once you've been dating long enough to let your guard down.

>don't text girls for fun
>don't text them at all except to set up meetings
>ask them if they're free on Day X, they'll almost always say yes if they're interested or propose an alternate time if they're not
>set up the date, don't text them again or ask if you're "still on" the night before
>keep doing this until you establish a level of comfort

Basically, don't be a little bitch and let a girl take over your life. I'm not advocating any one technique or PUA-style nonsense - just be you, and don't let your mood get affected by somebody you don't know. If you tell yourself you don't care, you'll eventually stop caring.
>>
>>24086639
this x1000.
I use to be like you OP, except a little less worst. you should know when a girl is in to you and not just being freindly. If youre not sure, dont even bother trying.

go get em, champ. :^)
>>
>>24074112
Im here to say that you are a fucking idiot read what you wrote there and feel bad ni ger
>>
>>24086639
>or propse an alternative time if theyre not

You mean the grill will propose an alternative time if shes not free, or if shes not interested, as a way to stall?
>>
>>24087156

She'll propose an alternate time if she's not free. I mean, you should be able to pick up on hints - if you suggest getting drinks at 5pm on Friday and she says "nah," don't bother. If she says, "I'd love to but I have to study for a huge exam!" then ask what day works for her. Should her response be along the lines of, "I'll let you know," then take her word for it. If she's interested in you, she'll let you know; if she's not, she won't.

Just don't bother responding anything besides, "alright!" if you get an answer like that.

They key to being happy, even if you're not the best with girls, is to find strategies and ways to cope with rejection. There's not a single person on Earth who can hook up with anybody they want, although there are of course some who'd have any easier time than others. Most of us fall somewhere in between "repulsive" and "outstandingly attractive." We win some, we lose some, and we can't let the opinions of strangers get us too far down.
>>
>>24086639

Coach Corey Wayne?
>>
>>24074253
holy shit, you have my body
>>
>>24086639
I was once like you. And I still am. A total fucking faggot. We both should kill ourselves. Pat your self on the back all you want.. You are still a huge faggot who needs to an hero. But at least you are not alone.
>>
>>24074163
It's true. That was way too casual.
>>
File: 1445781763500.jpg (11KB, 340x340px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1445781763500.jpg
11KB, 340x340px
>Nearly 2016
>Not putting your brownies next to the hot cocoa
>>
H O T C O C O A
O
T
C
O
C
O
A
>>
>>24074312
lol thanks cory wayne
>>
>>24087281
everyone is gonna ignore this real nigga advice but nice post f a m
>>
>>24087281
nice post senpai
>>
>>24074209
>Tfw hot cocoa with no brownie points
why live
>>
>>24074312
Reading this hurts my head man
Thread posts: 139
Thread images: 26



[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.