My personal rules for flirting & dating & relationship - beginners edition.
SECTION #1 - THE BASIC ESSENTIALS
1. If you're a NEET , get a job or get into college . You CAN pull a girl if you're an unemployed hack that's going nowhere but for you inexperienced hardcase newbies it's going to be near impossible. Stick with me
2. If you're obese workout and lose weight. Again , you can pull chicks if you're fat , but not if you have no experience at all . It's going to teach you discipline which is important for everything else from here on.
3.Balding? Ugly ? Shitty teeth? short ? Do what you can with what you have. get a hairstyle that compliments your baldiness or cut that shit off completely . If you're ugly , you're ugly . Deal with it or get surgery . If you have shitty teeth , go to a dentist. If you can't pay the dentist , get a job ( you should've already had a job ) Get a loan . Fix your shit , pay the loan with your job. It's your teeth . If it's important to you then it's worth it . If you're short , become and entitled , little asshole . Puff your shit up , stand straight , take space . Be a little fucking pimp. It shows.
4.If you lack social skills start talking to people in general . Flirting is a social skill . But basic chit-chat is more important than flirting. It's the baseline. Social SKILLS are exactly that . SKILLS . Repetition is the mother of skill . Do it until you're comfortable chatting strangers. If you have a mental illness that prevents you from socializing get your shit to a professional . Do what has to be done.
5.Get a clothing style that SUITS YOU . That means if you're a rocker there are modern rocker clothes for you to wear . Same for metalheads , punks , everything in between. GET CLOTHES THAT FIT . Doesn't have to be anything complex , just a nice set of clothes that look good on you .
Now you can comfortably hold a conversation with a stranger for more than 2 minutes , you're not an obese ball of lard and tears , you don't smell like rotten eggs , you have a pretty normal hairstyle and your clothes are 1 step up from dad clothes. Now what.
1. Start going out . It's going to feel weird , you will cry , you will panic , you will hate it , and you will hate yourself . You must do it non-theless . Courage is defined as doing things that scare you by defying your fears. Walk into a pub , a bar , whatever. Buy a soda if you're not into alcohol and just chat the first person that seems most approachable to you .
2.It doesnt matter if she/he finds you hot or not . As long as you have a friendly chit chat chances she/he will be friendly to you as well. Learn to enjoy going out . It's essential . JUST FUCKING DO IT . Just go out . LEARN to enjoy it . LEARN . If you don't enjoy it , go out until you do . Sometimes you'll get burnt out . It's ok . It happens to everyone . Take a small break , and then try again . Learn to socialize with strangers.
3.Flirting . This is where the iron gets hot . Flirting isn't hit or miss . A woman's attraction is like a volume knob . If you're a 10/10 calvin klein model her knob will immediately shoot high . If you're Shrek her knob will immediately shoot to zero. For most people , knobs go from 5-6 out of 10. ITS UP TO YOU TO LOWER OR RAISE THE ATTRACTION KNOB. Flirting works like chit chat , except it's more playful , challenging and fun. Just put in the work .
Now , you might ask , " Anon , but I am fun playful and fun with my friends. " What separates friends from potential lovers is physicality . Touching on the arm , on the shoulder . On the waist . These are places where friends don't really touch . Getting close , getting into her personal space. That's how you show you are a lover , not a friend.
4. You WILL get blown off. Chill the fuck out , count your losses , take your balls and go home . Try again next day . And again , and again and again . Chances are you WILL be successfull. One success is all you need to get the ball rolling . Sometimes you just have to push forward even when the light seems far away . This is what separates winners from losers. Learn from your losses , learn from your successes , and move on.
As a normie myself i can only give robots one piece of advice: Dont listen to anything anyone tells you on the internet. Every single one giving advice on the internet is most likely self absorbed and/or borderline useless themselves. This goes for literally ANYTHING. Dating, sports, cooking, just dont read it, ignore it. With that being said dont EVER, under any circumstances take any advice from 4chan. You would be safer by doing the exact opposite of what 4chan faggots advice you. Lastly dont even consider dating advice from r9k. It is enraging that failed normies come here to tell other grown men how to live their lives. OP should be hunt down and shot for this bullshit.
1. Don't be judgmental . 2. Socialize . Talk to people , find common ground to walk on . You won't have common interests with all your friends , but you will have chemistry . Chemistry is more important than common interests. 3.Accept that the majority of the world doesn't like you , some of them even downright hate you . I'm fine with that . 4.Don't be needy . Very important. Learn to go with the flow . 5.Develop your sense of humor . It's nice that you like black humor and racist jokes , but what rings to one group of people will not ring or might even offend another group . Learn to have variety in your humor. 6.Drop your Ego when it comes to friendships . Don't be a doormat , but learn to understand that the people you wanna hang out with are imperfect just like you . 7.If you can't be friends with some people due to reasons , learn to have positive interactions with them .
8.Learn to smile and have an open body language . This is something that I struggle with myself .
9.Hardest thing of all . Be nice to everyone . Always . And I mean genuinely nice . The kind of nice that doesn't expect anything in return . LOTS of people appreciate that . Trust me .
10.Most importantly , Be confident . Walk straight , Stand tall , look everyone in the eye . If you're confident in the way you talk walk and line niggas in chalk , people will have no choice but to like you , or hate you because of their own insecurities.
None of this seems to have much of a point, and none of this seems at all like the life I'd like to live. It seems so shallow, superficial and devoid of any personality. You're putting on a carefully constructed mask that society dictates is the best.
Personally I'd suggest personal development and allowing yourself to grow until you find someone that wants to grow with you. That way you find someone who loves you for you.
>>24056139 Advise me please, friend. I was going to ask a girl out; but, I was a pussy and didn't. Would it be too beta to try to retcon this by asking her out on Normbook? I usually only see her during and after class, so due to my uni having a break next week, I won't see her until Thurs otherwise.
I think the main problem here is that what's out there turns out not to be that much interesting and worth the effort for. tfw no gf surely hits, but it's only natural and once you look at the state of things, you kind of want to give up
those aren't necessarily bad advices, they are just like the instructions to build something that I really can't be bothered with most of times
>>24057354 there is no chad, chad is just something made up by you to help deal with your failures, this chad character is you only he chose to take care of himself... but in my book he is another nasty grunting animal, who feels more entitled
I would advise for you to ask her out IRL. there are subtleties like voice tonality and body language that cannot be conveyed through facebook.
1) have a friendly chit chat before doing that . Make You asking her out seem natural and not sudden or forced. It will help you relax , and her feel more comfortable with you .
2) when you do ask her out , say something like " What are you doing tonight "
3)She will either say , " nothing , you ? " or " blah blah blah going to some shitty party " or " blah blah i have some shit to do " 4) if it's the first , say that there is this place you're gonna go , it seems pretty fun/cool/awesome/whatever . " There is this new cafeteria that opened up blah blah blah , fucking love coffee blah blah blah , you should come "
5) If she does infact come , it's game on . If she says she is busy , give her some radio silence and try again 4-5 days later. If she rejects you again and doesn't bring up a day she's available it's either
a) She doesn't like you enough to go out with you b) She is fucking stupid and can't get the fucking clue. c) She enjoys the attention but never wants to go out with you.
If it's a)
then keep the radio silence until she speaks to you FIRST. then chit chat . rapport , ask her out . If she rejects you , radio silence again until SHE breaks the silence again . Repeat , chit chat chit chat rapport , ask her out . You WILL keep doing this until she gets the fucking clue and either goes out with you , or backs off completely. DO NOT ACCEPT THE FRIENDZONE.
if it's b) , do the same with a)
if it's c) then Stop talking to her completely . Cut off all the attention you give her . You talk to her ONLY when she talks to you and keep the conversation short. Attention whores don't deserve our time .
>>24057484 lel not the guy you're replying to, but I wish I read this a few days ago. I asked a QT in my collge course out over FB, now things have gotten very weird indeed in college. I'm a fool. Live and learn tho.
>>24057536 Projecting much? You're ascribing negative traits associated with "players" to this person since he approaches a lot of women when the sad reality is that unattractive people have to try as much as this guy to experience relationships.
>>24056139 >just put your hand in the fire until you're comfortable with your hand being in flames what normie retards don't understand is that we are that way because of years of loneliness, humiliation, rejection, alienation If this things would be so easy to brush off this board wouldn't exist You're literally telling us to repeat the experiences that made us this way
>>24057646 no, i've only been with men on the more unfortunate end of the spectrum, their standards and expectations are just as high... if not at first they gradually come out and expect more and more out of you
Less attractive expect more. They are more deluded by porn while attractive men have sex with real people and have real expectations. For example the "roastie" deal, most vaginas look like that but they grew up looking at anime vaginas.
I'm so tired of these advice threads. The people willing to listen already know everything you are going to tell them and everyone else needs advice (or personal growth) in completely different areas. It is pointless.
Nope. Section 1 alone would take at least 5 years to complete. By then I'm nearing 30 and it's game over anyway.
Just get born with god-tier genetics and get raised in an environment where everyone loves you and nurtures you socially despite your ineptness because you're attractive. That's the only way to win at life.
>all this bullshit about skills I wonder why most robots were lonely kids I was a shy autist since forever You expect me to change my genes and character Highly functioning autist is best what you can become, you'll never be a normie
>>24058008 >take it or leave it I would absolutely take having god tier genetics and being born a winner, believe me.
That isn't to say I don't get looks from girls. I do, but they're not the good ones. People in general can't help but stare at me because I'm apparently shockingly hideous.
As for your shitty advice, which I feel is what your "take it or leave it" shit referred to, I'll leave it. That shit only works if you're fat with a good face, or are handsome but just unkempt and socially retarded. You addressed ugly with "Deal with it or get surgery." I think that's evidence enough that you know I'm right.
>>24057979 every form of birth control has really shit side effects... anything hormonal makes you gain weight, angry for no reason and gives you risk of blood clot and stroke and IUDs make you bleed like you're dying with horrible pain every period
I guess fertility is a natural part of the body and trying to block it is going to have consequences
>>24057056 Not OP but this is absolutely horrible advice. Why wouldn't you want to look as good as possible. It only positively impacts your image, and it can help to boodt esteem. We humans are judgemental creatures, and often your clothes reflect your personality.
I think the biggest problem here is that women today do not need a relationship or sex with a man. When they do go through with sex they only bother doing it if the man is very attractive and experienced, which unfortunately for us is the most logical thing to do.
>>24057484 Not OP nut the reason you're nervous is more than likelydue to the fact that you dont have a lot of options, having options helps. Another thing is don't make last minute weekend plans with girls. At best it looks like she's a number two option, at wordt it looks like you have no life
>>24057577 >I can't believe how disgusting men are. You woman-chasing assholes deserve to die. *circlejerk* *circlejerk* YEAH IMPLYING THAT ROASTIE CUNTS DON'T WANT TO BE VALIDATED AND GIVEN ATTENTION BY CHAD. Women are fucking stupid desu senpai. >wants a smart guy >wants a sweet guy >wants a guy who's going places >wants a guy who looks like Chad >is going fucking absolutely nowhere >is dependent on future bf wifing her and saving her from her shitty life driven by her pursuit of vain twatitry to attract men Women are a fucking meme.
Same shit has been said a thousand times and you're not saying anything important or groundbreaking. You probably think you arrive in here as Jesus 2.0 and your doctrine will save us and shit Nobody is important, nothing matters, whatever you say is just wind that floats in the room for a while and escapes after a while.
>>24057056 >Personally I'd suggest personal development and allowing yourself to grow until you find someone that wants to grow with you. That way you find someone who loves you for you. Those are some good platitudes right there
>>24058473 >at wordt it looks like you have no life You mean he doesn't live the normie accepted lifestyle, everybody has a life.
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