Scrumptious Calem and Kuudere Serena's Tubular Voyage Part

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>>803024
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7t2AMjtVv28
[Magearna was grateful for the gift of life that was bestowed upon her, but forever remorseful for the lives that had to be sacrificed for it to happen. To that end, she devoted herself to nurturing young Pokemon and caring for the injured. She yearned to certify that her gift would not be wasted by giving back to the society that contributed to her awakening.]

[When Magearna caught wind of the king's plans, she was shook. For all the respect she held for him, she had a growing fear that he was making a grave mistake, and his desperation was blinding him from seeing the truth. She feared, that if this contraption were to be completed, that it would ultimately be used to commit an unspeakable calamity.]

[She could not let that happen, and refused to have more Pokemon drained of their life force, especially for such a disconcerting cause. Thus, she approached me for the sake of a ploy—to surrender my stake in warfare and aid her in undermining the king's machine by herding the kingdom's Pokemon to a safe place, where even the king could not find them.]

[I accepted the plea. I now know that was a mistake.]

A) "How come? Sounds noble to me."
B) "Why's this story sounding so familiar..?"
C) "Magearna's really not sounding as bad you make her out to be.."

>>803027
C.

C) "Magearna's really not sounding as bad you make her out to be.."

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>>803027
You don't intend to come across as ungrateful, after all, an explanation has been long overdue from this surly sap—but some things just aren't adding up. You decide to address your concerns to Volcanion rather than leave them unsung, starting with the most conflicting.

"Magearna's really not sounding as bad you make her out to be.."

In fact, from what you've heard, she actually sounds pretty nice. You honestly have to wonder what grudge he could possibly hold against her, maybe he just doesn't like genuinely nice people doing genuinely nice things?

That would certainly be a nail in the coffin.

[I'm aware.] Volcanion answers back, terse and to the point. [It wouldn't be a facade if it wasn't well-crafted.]

[Magearna informed me that even my life force would be at risk were I to return to the castle. Instead, I was to wait at a distant rendezvous point while she alone went and gathered as many subjects as she could. The king was beyond reason and his machine was near completion at this point, so rallying them together under his nose was the only way.]

[I did not ask for it, but she insisted that I would be rewarded for my hand in assisting her, regardless of whether we succeeded or failed: Three hundred and fifty ₱—considered a trove in those times.]

[And so, resigned to my role, I waited for her to return with the kingdom's Pokemon..]

[And waited..]

[And waited...]

[And waited. . .]

[And waited some more. . . ]

[She never arrived. Days later, the machine was activated, but the king's madness was not sated. And so, he turned it on both sides of the undying war and fired it.]

[The war ended—and so did the Azoth Kingdom. The lush landscape I had come to know and love was no more. In the aftermath of the cataclysm, it had been reduced to little more than barren wasteland—the very same we stand in today.]

[For the next three-thousand years, I waited.. waited in that same spot.. in the hopes that by some miracle, she would return...]

A) ".. Annd she still didn't, huh?"
B) "Not sure if dedication, boredom, or loss of sanity.."
C) "You stood in the same place for three-thousand years!?!?!?!?"
D) "Er.. I don't think she's coming back, dude.."

>>803621
A.

>>803621
C

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>>803621
The tie was randomized.
"Y-... You stood in the same place for three-thousand years!?!?!?!?" you exclaim, jaws agape until Serena accordingly affixes them.

[Tch.. Save your surprise for when it has worth, human. I had no place in the world when the kingdom fell—if the bloodshed left any survivors, I never stumbled across them. In the blink of an eye, I had lost nearly everything I held dear to me, everything and everyone I strove to protect—gone. The only thing I had to my name was the promise I made to Magearna that day.]

[An individual is only as strong as their word, so here I stood in an enduring solace, calmly biding throughout the ages for the day she would return and repay her dues. A promise of her own, if you will.]

A) "This is about the 350₱?!! I could give you that in pocket change NOW"
B) "You're only mad at her because she never paid you!?!?!"
C) "I.. I really don't think she's coming back, man."

>>804692
C.

>>804692
C

>>804692
A to put Calem more in the red.

>>804692
B

>>804692
C.

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>>804692
"I.. I really, really don't think she's coming back, man."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvvTacquttk
[Graaaaaaaaggh—don't you think I know that already, human?!?!] Volcanion yells, fervent steam expelling from his hoop. [My overall point is—it is senseless for you to feign even an illusion of interest in this desolate wasteland. It is not natural. It was never supposed to be this way. It is the bleak result of despair and misguidance, a consequential scar of age-old hostility. You cannot desecrate what is already damaged.]

He proceeds to gesture to the steaming remnants of the mountain he incinerated.

[I'm only making up for lost time.]

A) "But deserts are awesome!"
B) "Just because it's not the home you remember doesn't mean it deserves to be shit on!"
C) "What would Magearna think if she saw you tearing this place apart?!"
D) "It may not be what Mother Earth intended, but it's still worth protecting!"

>>805048
D.

>>805048
C

>>805048
B

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>>805048
The tie was randomized.
"Th-That's nuts!" you exclaim, racking your mind for anything that you can possibly use as a counterpoint. "What would Magearna think if she saw you tearing this place apart?!"

[Geh.....geheheheh...... GEHYAHAHAHAHYAHH!! 'What would she think?' 'What would she think?' What do I THINK she would THINK?! Gehehahah!]

"Well, that certainly put him in a good humor.."

"Was it something I said..? I thought.."

[Geheheheh. . . . Excuse me, but I think that was the first time you actually put a smile on my face. Human.. why do you believe I've become so embittered to Magearna and this wretched land as of late? The memories? The promise? The money? No, that was just the principle.]

[It's because this is exactly what she wanted. All of this. This was all within her grand design—her underlying bid to return this world to nothing. And my only true regret is that it took me three-thousand years to realize that I was no more than a pawn in her ploy.]

A) "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!?"
B) "But.. but she sounded so sweet!"
C) "Why didn't you say that from the start? Now I can't see her as anything but a goody two-shoes!"
D) "There were robots three-thousand years ago that secretly wanted to commit revolution. Okay."

>>805639
Calem now sounds like Haley Joel Osment to me.
D.

>>805639
D

>>805639
A.
Volcanion clearly has a severe case of depression.

>>805639
A

>>805639
D

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Leaks are 50% hype-for-five-seconds-followed-by-tempered-satisfaction, 30% bizarrely disappointing exclusions or squandered potential, 10% realistic "As Expected of Game Freak-sama" blunders, 5% everything is slow, 4% dumb Fire Emblem-tier multiverse Zinnia-was-right-validation trash, and 1% Farfetch'd got a buff LEEK MISER ALWAYS WINS B A B Y

>>805639
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1vZJTpye5E
"There were robots three-thousand years ago that secretly wanted to commit revolution. Okay."

[Whether you choose to believe me or not is up to your own misgivings, human. I'm only giving you reason for the topographical waste I've laid over these past few days—a newly heightened awareness. Magearna was no saint. She wanted this dominion to shrivel up and wither into nothingness—that was her ultimate desire. And I stood there none the wiser and watched as time took its course and allowed it to happen.]

[Why do you think the king was able to activate the machine when all was said and done? With her aid, of course. Magearna knew from the very beginning that I was among the kingdom's strongest fighters. She plotted in secrecy to keep me away from the kingdom so that I could not intervene when the time was right. To her, I needed to be removed from the equation for their plan to come to fruition.]

[All this time I foolishly believed Magearna was saving the kingdom's subjects from the king's delusional grasp. In truth, she was leading them right to him. That's why they never arrived, that's why I was left stranded here all these years—because that was her intention.]

[Remember when I said she was crafted from the same life force as the machine's source of fuel?]

[The king's final sacrifice, the ignition to the machine—was Magearna's own infinite energy.]

A) "But why would she do that?!"
B) "T-That's SUPER nuts!"
C) "She allahu akbar'd!?"
D) ".. Are you trying to tell me your rage is kinda sorta.... justifieed?"

>>806646
C

>>806646
A.

>>806646
>allahu ackbar
>when Alolan Golem looks like raghead
>and can deal whooping TWO FUCKING THOUSANDS OF DAMAGE
Only dead know peace from this hell

>>806646
A

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>>806646
"B-But why would she do that?!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulDhmKCZ-n0
[BECAUSE SHE'S A CROOKED UNDERHANDED DECEIVER WHO WANTED TO WATCH THE WORLD UNFURL AND BURN AT THE SEAMS! Hah. . . . hah. .]

[...]

[Magearna wanted to see the kingdom fall, and she knew that conspiring with the will of the king's ever-growing madness would ultimately lead to it. That much is clear. For what definitive reason, I do not know, but what I do know is that this is the world she wanted. All of this was a direct result of the sin of a choice she made that day.]

[This corpse of a wasteland. . .]

[A festering blight on this world. . .]

[This world. . . where I was left to rot for centuries on the whims of a broken promise.]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvvTacquttk
[I intend to take action. It wasn't supposed to be this way. It shouldn't be this way.]

[If this is the world that Magearna desires.. a world where the kingdom's legacy is forgotten and left to wither.. then I'm going to sear every last inch of it to the ground. To think that I could have done something.. to think that I could have stopped her had I seen through her front.. it sickens me.]

[I've already begun with this despicable facility. That civilization, just off into the distance? That's next.]

A) "YOU'RE nuts!"
B) "I can't let you do that familia, even with this newly-acquired contextually sympathetic point of view!"
C) "Okay okay okay, now that's going WAY too far, desert-defiling is one thing but PEOPLE LIVE THERE!"
D) "No.... No! All my stuff is there!!"

>>807074
C

>>807074
C.

>>807074
C.

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>>807074
"Okay okay okay, now that's going WAY too far, desert-defiling is one thing but PEOPLE LIVE THERE! THE MAYOR WILL WIN BIG THERE! EMMA LIVES THERE! EMMAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"I think we're well past the point of hostility negotiations, Calem.."

"Nin, ninj.."

"Look, look, my point is—those people have nothing to do with this! Hell, practically all of them weren't even born all the way back then! They don't deserve to suffer because of the actions of some genocidal kamikaze android three-thousand years ag—!"

[You aren't going to change my mind. With action comes consequence, regardless of how old those actions may be. There must be repercussion, and my purpose now is to deliver that unto the world. If you can't accept that, then you'll fall—just like the rest.]

Just as before, Volcanion breaks his hoop into two and aims his cannons at the ground.

"W-WAIT! DON'T—"

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>>807201
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_u-rBhq-auk
[MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—EVEN THE S W E E T N E S S OF D E A T H CAN'T SAVE YOU NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!]

>The wild Volcanion fled!

"H-H.. He vanished into the sky!"

"I know bae, I'm dumb as a plum, not blind—I can read text boxes too."

[Chief!] Zibber calls. [This is bad! Look at the sky! It's flaring up!]

Volcanion's getaway is marked with a passionately intense uproar of superheated steam, swiftly submerging the sky in a thick, inescapable fog no different than the haze down below. In other words—everywhere is fogged to hell now, and the Steam Marvel is but a blip on the radar.

"Ooooooh.. covered his tracks this time.. didn't he?"

"And left us stranded. The skies are polluted now, I'm afraid flying is no longer an option.."

"..Are you telling me that hothead is about to burn Lumiose to the ground and there's nothing we can do about it?"

A) "Because that's NUTS—THERE'S ALWAYS A WAY!"
B) "It's... cough.... all over..."

>>807256
A.

>>807256
A.

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>>807256
"Because that's NUTS—THERE'S ALWAYS A WAY!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OORDWT89XI8
"Noivern, return! You deserve a break and an apple, but the apple'll have to come later because some deep shit is going down!"

"Noooi!"

"Greninja, you stick with me! We're still the cryptic key to giving Volcanion a run for his money!"

"Greniiin!"

"Miss Leading! You look very pretty and I treasure every waking moment I spend with you!"

>'I guess that 'talk' will have to wait for later too..'

"O-Oh? I.. Thank you, b-but this really isn't the time for such things!"

"And you, Zibber! . . . think of a plan to get us out of this baloney!"

[Whaaaaaat?! Me, chief?! You've been rallying us up all this time—I thought you were going to come up with something!]

A) "Why me?! You're the one who enlisted everyone else! I'm the MC who can't say no!"
B) "My only plan requires a giant fighting robot, and we don't have one!"
C) "I did come up with something, it's for YOU to come up with something!"

>>807349
B.

>>807349
C.

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>>807349
"My only plan requires a giant fighting robot, and we don't have one!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
[Uh. . . Actually, chief..]

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>>807365
[There is one thing I can try, chief and lady chief—but it requires Squiggly's full conscious assistance. Lady chief?]

Serena lifts her hat to reveal Squiggly, safe and sound but no more than a comatose vegetable. "I'm afraid it's still incapacitated.."

[Then we'll just have to make do with a fraction of my full power for now. Listen—ten percent may not be able to put a dent in Volcanion, but fifty percent might. It's the maximum amount of power a single Zygarde Core is able to muster on their own, and it requires total concentration. If Squiggly were active, it could theoretically manifest the other half, but as I said, it's still a rookie. For now, I'll do what I can, I owe you all that much for wrangling you into my problems.]

"But what about the fog? It's EVERYWHERE!"

[Hm... Wonderful observation, chief! Well, let's serve it as food for thought: if we can't go through the fog or go over it, then clearly the solution is to..]

"Go........under it?"

[Bingo! Fifty-percent was made for high-speed tunnel burrowing, and it's the Forme of Zygarde you remember most. My schnoz skills as a serpent are pretty finely honed, I believe if we travel in the direction we saw Volcanion blasting off in, we'll eventually catch up with him. We can prattle over the finer details as we go.]

A) "I can't believe we're actually going to do this.."
B) "Woo, sounds like a doozy, I better buckle up, buckaroo!"
C) "Well what the hell are you waiting for LET'S ROGGEN AND FUCKING ROLA"

>>807441
C for hype.

>>807441
C WE GOTTA GO

Nate is for our guy trump right?

>>807894
>implying he's not voting for Goomy Johnson

>>807971
>not Tierno Tiernoson

>>808033
>implying he's not completely ignoring the presidential choice and only voting in the down-ticket elections that will actually impact him personally

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>>807441
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGHXVxDr6W0
"Well what the hell are you waiting for LET'S ROGGEN AND FUCKING ROLA"

Zibber nods and looks to the dreary skies with a glowing ray of determination—literally. [I couldn't agree more, chief! I'm kind of scared, but at the same time, I've never felt more excited! Today is the day the world changes! And though I may only be able to channel fifty percent of my strength on my own, I will do so with a resolve of one-hundred and ten percent!]

[CELLS, WHEREVER YOU ARE—THIS IS IT!! THE TIME HAS COME FOR US TO ACT! NO LONGER CAN YOU MINDLESSLY IDLE IN THE SHADOWS! THE FINAL HOURS ARE UPON US! YOUR CORE NEEDS YOU!!! MY CHIEFS NEED YOU!!! WE ALL NEED EACH OTHER!!!!

[MANIFEST——FIFTY-PERCENT FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORME!!!!!]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9i4T6nRPC1Q
One.
Two.
Three. Four. Five.
Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten.
EleventwelvethirteenfourteenfifteensixteenseventeeneighteenineteentwentytwentyonetwentytwotwentythreetwentyfourtwentyfivetwentysixtwentyseventwentyeighttwentyninethirtythirtyonethirtytwothirtythreethirtyfourthirtyfivethirtysixthirtyseventhirtyeightTHIRGHTYNINE F - O - R - T - Y.

From the north.

From the south.

From the west.

From the east.

Forty percent of Zygarde Cells rush in from every conceivable direction to join forth and merge with Zibber in a hivemind to end all hiveminds. Combined with the loyal ten percent already standing by its side, an even fifty is born, and from that amalgation..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8UVKnBJ0rc
[GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO]

The Order Pokemon as the men and women of Kalos know it rises from the ashes and roars with climatically climactic pride.

[LAND'S WRAAAAAAAAAATH!]

The land shifts in an instant—a colossal hole is ripped into the ground with sheer ease. Zygarde slithers up to it, leans, and projects a command you'll never forget.

[CHIEFS—HOP ON IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!!!!]

A) "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK!!!"
B) WHERE WE'RE GOING WE DON'T NEED Bs

>>808421
A.

>>808421
A with an exclamation point!

>>808421
A

>>808421
A

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>>808421
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK!!!"

If this were under literally any other circumstance, you would be petrified to stone for even daring to step up to the Order Pokemon, let alone mounting it and taking it on a high-speed joyride through a parched wasteland infested with Gibles.

But, since the world is at stake, you get to hug Zygarde with every fiber in your being and receive absolutely no repercussions for it. "Greninja, Serena, let's go! We've got some steeeaaam to blow off!"

"Greninnnn!"

"Calem, I'm going to humbly and respectfully ask that you don't even."

With your party aboard, the Serpentine Express makes way to depart into the tunnel. Of course, it doesn't hit you until Zygarde begins taking a few cautious slithers back just how it intends to do that.

[EXTREME..

[S P E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E D ! ! ! !]

You lived. You lived long enough to see the day you would ride a gigantic hexagonal snake into oblivion. And it was everything you could have dreamed of and so much more.

>>808948
For old times sake:

B
U
M
P

>>811112
>off by one

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sorry
>>808948
——————————————————————————————————————————
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5z-_i3Wv9Xs
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OH GOD OH GOD OHHHH GOOOOOOOOOODDDDD WHAT IS EVEN HAAAAAAAAAPPENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!??!?!?!"

"Was that meant to be a rhetorical question? We're clearly Journeying to the Center of the Earth. You of all people should know that, it was on our summer reading list!"

"I'M A CHAMPION WITH AN UNBROKEN HYMEN—I don't have time for reading!"

"But.. you deliberately went out of your way to join my book club when you had zero obligation to.."

Whoever makes off-screen life decisions for you deserves to be fired and burned at the stake.

"U-UHHHHH TURBULENCE! UNDERGROUND TURBULENCE! You're breaking up with me bae, tsssssssssssk tsssssssssssssssssk tsssssssssk, there's static everywhere! Can't hear you!"

"Calem. I'm holding onto your waist."

She squeezes you.

"SO ABOUT VOLCANION, ZYGARDE.. Are you sure we're going the right way!? I can't see well, a-all I taste is dirt! Does this Forme even have eyes!?"

[You've nothing to worry about, chief! I'm burrowing at the EXTREMESPEED of sound! You may not be able to see much, but we can! Our senses are magnified in this Forme! We're hot on Volcanion's trail, chief! However, it seems there are a few obstacles in the way..]

"Er.. those being?"

[I believe we're about to head knee-deep into Gible territory.]

A) "TURN BACK TURN BACK TURN BACK"
B) "A-Are you sure there isn't some sort-of shortcut o-or lengthier alternative route?"
C) Put on your protective Gible Gear™.

>>811387
A

>>811387
C

>>811387
C
To die in Sharkuake is noble way to die.

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>>811387
You would record scratch and splice in a hasty scene cut to a Previously on Tubular Voyage . . . for the sake of context-enlightening flashbacks, but you can arguably achieve the same effect simply by speaking your mind to the nth degree

"I FUCKING HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIBLES"

No fucking kidding, you think the little shitty ankle biters deserve to be gassed (no offense to your father, who frolics with his own Garchomp on occasion—they're alright). You've run into their many little "squads" far too many times than necessary this journey, and you'll be damned if you're gonna let them fuck you in your creamy pale ass again.

Fortunately, this time you've come prepared to deal with their antiquated antics. Off-screen Paid Programming at three in the morning is a wonderful thing—there's frankly no better way for the Kalos League Champion to spend his nights than wrapped in a blanket cocoon in front of a TV with a cup of cocoa.

As soon as you saw the infomercial, you rushed not to the phone—but to your computer to order it from Amazon at half the price courtesy of your third-party hookup.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdwNOc3hmIg
You retrieve it from your inventory—OFFICIALLY Licensed Anti-Gible Gear™!

"What the.." Serena mumbles as you begin to awkwardly change clothes mid-wild ride. "Butterfingers, what are you doing?"

You answer her while fumbling with your costume. "Trying to pull a fast one on the angry manlet landsharks that I have no patience to deal with again, you?"

"You're dressed as a Flygon.."

A) "And proud of it! I'm With Flygon!"
B) "Exactly! I'll be so blatant a target they'll think I'm a trap!"
C) "You worry too much. This is trainer-approved, they said so on the telly!"
D) "Not just any Flygon—a GHOST Flygon!"

>>812231
B

>>812231
D.
And not just any Ghost Flygon -- a DRAGON DANCING Ghost Flygon!

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>>812231
The tie was randomized.
"Not just any Flygon—a GHOST Flygon! And not just any GHOST Flygon either— a DRAGON DANCING GHOST Flygon! I'll terrorize those little shits with their greatest nightmare made a reality— a Flygon that's only barely above the line of decency!"

"I'll concede.. that is rather terrifying. But only because of how silly it sounds."

"And it only cost me nine payments of ₱5200!"

[Heads up, chiefs!] the Order Pokemon calls. [We're coming in on the underground Gible nest! Erm, chief.. I think it'd be best if you just try to act 'natural'.]

"Right, riiiight! Relaaaaaax, I got this completely under control!"

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>>812803
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGRIxbdSKHU
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo I'm a raaaaarely uuuused shitmooooon who only just got a move he should have gotten generations agoo! Feeeaar mee!"

"Hey Ron,"

"Yeah?"

"Look over there. Isn't that the sad little naked autistic boy with the smelly Joltik smegma dick from a few years ago?"

"Huh.. why yes, I believe it is!"

"Seems to have learned the importance of clothes. What do you think he's yelling about?"

"Oh, I don't know, I can't hear him."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Absolutely embarrassing, I do declare."

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>>812849
"SEE THAT?! I think one of them pissed themselves!"

[Let's just keep moving, chief..]

"I think what's more concerning is that there exists a society of intelligent, diminutive landsharks under the surface and nobody is doing anything about it."

"Woah woah, if they're so smart, how come they didn't see through my choice disgui—?"

[Ah! Ch-Chief! I hate to break your gloating for a minute—but my collective senses are heightening! Volcanion is definitely just up ahead! WE AREN'T TOO LATE!]

A) "Gaaaahh! Fine, I'll gloat later—GUN IT!"
B) "But what about Squiggly?! You said now would be detail time!"
C) "See what happens when I force you to come up with ideas? They work!"

>>813136
A.

>>813136
A

>>813136
A

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>>813136
"Gaaaaaaaaaaahh! Fine, I'll gloat later when the weight of the world's not at stake, but just remember that I'm going to rub REALLY it in! Okay Zygarde—GUN IT!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8UVKnBJ0rc
[WITH PLEASURE, CHIEF! I'll just rapidly shoot upwards in a straight ninety-degree angle with another Extreme Speed, forcibly jut us all out of the ground, and sling you into the sky whereupon you can attack and strike down the steam heathen with the infallible element of surprise!!]

"YEAH! THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WE'LL—WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!!??!?"

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>>813361
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkBMAHUkibY
[WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME CHIEF I CAN'T OVERSHOT THIS IT HAS TO BE ON POINT I'VE MADE UP MY-SLASH-YOUR MIND THE REVOLUTION ENDS HEEEEEEEEEEREEEEEE]

"WAIT FUCK, NO—AT LEAST GIVE ME TIME TO TAKE OFF THE COSTU—"

[EXTREME SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED]

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>>813370
"MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

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>>813373
——————————————————————————————————————————
"Alas for poor Calem, his mother could not hear his incessant cries—for she was being rammed in the ear by his father but a thousand hapless miles away. They experiment on Thursdays."

"ON THAT NOTE, I come to you now, the dedicated reader to deliver a dreadful red pill: Enjoy this speed while it lasts: It'll be gone next week.

>>813385
I didn't need to be reminded about what they did to Vikavolt.

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>>813385
>It'll be gone next week.

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>>813385
>>813625
>mrw zygarde gets c u c k e d AGAIN

>>813385
>Enjoy this speed while it lasts: It'll be gone next week.
Brutal

Generation of UU, here we come!

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>>813385
>Enjoy this speed while it lasts
>spoiler

>>813692
>Y-You'll see Fugfags! Z-Zygarde will be relevant in SM!

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I know I know everyone, we'll live through the gen, don't worry.
>>813385
——————————————————————————————————————————
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmAjT8tVHOA
[Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. Mangina. M A N G I N A A A A A]

Volcanion's mind is about as consumed as one would expect for a mythical that's just realized it's squandered the last three-thousand years of its existence on a hoodoo, vocabulary warped, morality enraptured by the thralls of rage, hatred, and the unhinged inhibition to burn everything and everyone to steam-engulfed cinders. A very alarming redpill and destructive sense of hindsight, to say the least.

Unfortunately, what his hindsight fails to consider is the brigade of madmen creeping right under his nose.

Three.

Two.

One.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfMwcMFE7gc
[GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO]

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>>814658
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Qx2lMaMsl8
Slithering at the Extreme Speed of sound, Zygarde roughly propels itself upward like a rocket with maximum velocity, breaking through every crusty damned layer of solid earth until it shatters the very surface itself, jutting out of the jagged ground with an unconquerable vengeance.

[ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!]

Serena clutches to the Order Pokemon with all her might, and is left with it to gaze in awe as the sheer tectonic friction of the wild ride slingshots you and Greninja into the skies. Unfinished, Zygarde reels its massive head and lets loose a savage Dragon Pulse.

[GYRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!]

The blast splits through the fog and soars until it catches up with you, blasting you square in the ass and propelling you even further upward. You grab a stern hold of Greninja's tongue scarf, eyes decisively narrowed as a familiar shadow begins to manifest in the distance.

"Serena told me not to worry. To stop thinking about what could happen, and only focus on what will. I won't make that mistake again."

"Gre."

"I am no imitation spread. I. A m. B u t t e r . And I want to prove that to you."

"Gren!"

"We have only one shot to proc this. There aren't any do-overs."

"Grenn!"

"We're going to master every last inch of this technique from top to bottom. I know that we can, because together, there's nothing we can't do."

"Grennn!"

"Ready?"

"JA!"

Greninja crosses his arms over his chest, face glowing with the passive-humbleness of death, as you lasso him by the tongue—unraveling to the last detail—and fling him at Volcanion.

As he crosses the heavens, you mirror his pose, a sweet smile gracing your features as you hit the peak of your height, and plunge back to earth—a fallen angel.

A) Use Gunk Shot.
B) Use Return.
C) Use Smack Down.

>>814676
B, given all the love and friendship crap going on this chapter, return's power has to be like 999 or something

>"I am no imitation spread. I. A m. B u t t e r . And I want to prove that to you."

This is why I read this story.

>>814676
B

>>814676
B. With our bond, it should be something ridiculous like Hyper Ultra Bond Attack: RETURN to the Light or some other silly super move name.

>>814676
B

>>814676
C is logical on all fronts, but B is for friendship.

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>>814676
Feeling a tingling, almost disgustingly bromantic disruption in his incensed wavelengths, Volcanion glances behind his back, and immediately faces retribution for it.

[WHAT THE—]

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>>817351
Triggered by your angelic display of amity, a gushing veil of water surges forth and rapidly whirls around Greninja, encompassing his body in a pulsating torrent and resonating his soul with your ass-kicking resolve. The two forces merge until they are one within record time, and just as before, your thoughts and emotions become linked with Greninja's in a telepathic highway.

>Greninja's Battle Bond!

"JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Greninja bursts from the aquatic cocoon having transformed once more, this time on command. His legs become stronger, having no longer skipped leg day, his speed becomes speedier, his head becomes.. Calem-ier! colors darkening to match your hair. His unfurled tongue scarf wraps around him once more, and a cascade of compressed water forms on his back in the shape of an X. Indeed, as much you want to believe your eyes are deceiving you, they're not—you've proc'd Battle Bond!

His third dive into the Bond Phenomenon, Greninja has become used to the idea of being the bread to your butter, just as you've become used to the idea of being the I Can't Believe It Actually Is Butter to his bread. Put it in the toaster and it's a perfect combination! A match made in heaven!

As you plummet with a madman's grin, you watch as Greninja utterly blindsides Volcanion with his unlocked potential. Unable to defend himself with his arm cannons preoccupied, you finally wipe that brooding look off his face and replace it with shock.

It's a cake. A cake that's topped as you give Greninja his first order.

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>>817365
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyAyk1mF9OM
"Hyper Ultra Bond Attack: Return to the Light"

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>>817399
[GRAAAAAAAAAAAH THAT'S NOT A REAL MOVE YOU JUST MADE THAT U—]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvvTacquttk
"GRENIIIN!"

Greninja slams into Volcanion at full-power, bludgeoning him in the face with his hyper ultra bond-empowered elbow and sparking an explosion of pure light to swallow the sky. It's not edgy enough to spew blood from his mouth, but it is radical enough to force all of his orifices to simultaneously expel steam in a kneejerk reaction.

[—uuuuhhh....pppp...]

Having caught him off-guard, Greninja follows up by grabbing one of his arm cannons before he can react. Mimicking your earlier lasso shenanigans, he spins the Steam Marvel around with the power of friendship before savagely swinging him into submission.

"JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Volcanion is sent barreling back to earth, but you're still not done. You press the palms of your hands together, shake your hips, and pretend to dive. Greninja is quick to mimic these actions, and skydives after the fiend.

A) Use Acrobatics!
B) Use Power-Up Punch!
C) Use Night Slash!

>>818548
A for amphibian acrobatics

>>818548
B for ORAORAORAORA

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>>818548
The tie was randomized.
Volcanion recovers from his pummeling long enough to lock eyes with the amphibious ninja responsible for it. He grits his teeth and snarls, only to shockingly discover that one of them was slugged out of him.

"Innnnnjaaa!"

[Tch..! You're that vapid frog from earlier! Gaaah... how in the—]

"Hey mack!" the steam champeen snaps and turns around.. to find you chillaxing in midair with a stick of butter. "What's shaking?"

[Uh.. and you are?]

"Wh-What?! D-Did you forget about me already!?"

[I've been alive for over three-thousand years.. I think I would remember a revenant Flygon..]

"O-OH! W-Wait! Hold on! Let me just take this off and——AHA!! REMEMBER ME?!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
[I-IMPOSSIBLE! YOU TOO!? I MAROONED you! How did you escape?!]

"Duuuuuuude.. You really don't know who I am, do you? Those three-thousand years have totally botched your celebrity awareness! You can try all you want, but you literally cannot keep me down! Even if you ship me to a deserted island with no coconuts, I'll just come right back by sundown! And I'll keep coming back for more, and more, and more, and even more, and even MORE, and then some! You woefully underestimate the relentless tenacity of Calem Calemson! KALOS LEAGUE CHAMPION!"

"Greniiiiin!"

[Graaaahh.. I should have known you wouldn't be easy to eliminate.. and yet, I didn't! Maybe I'm the one lacking in hindsight..]

"Maybe so! You know, if you'd be willing to relent on incinerating the region's capital to smithereens, I could possibly be swayed into giving you some R&R."

[Nice try, but I've already told you, my mind is made up! Everything that is a product of Mangina's ambitions will fall to nothingness!]

"Pssssshhh.... Welp, can't say we never gave him a chance for a redemption arc, Greninja. POWER-UP PUNCH!"

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>>818662
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQJDjWYfiyI
[Still insistent on waging warfare, huh?! After everything I didn't do for you? FINE! I'll just torch you BOTH! EAT FOCUS BLAST!]

Volcanion raises both of his cannons and aims them at you and Greninja, fire in his eyes. [Think these are only good for shooting steam? THINK AGAIN!]

"Greninja! Dodge and Power-Up Punch!"

"Ja!"

"RIGHT! I probably should shimmy the fuck out of the way too! Gaaaaaaah!"

——————————————————————————————————————————

"Zygarde, how are they holding up?"

Your explosively bright improvised Return technique manages to drive the worst of the fog away, giving your party ample view of the airborne brawl, but you're too high up and moving way too fast to be tracked by the human eye.

[They seem to be duking it out to the death, as expected. Chief holds the advantage, but it is too soon to call the fight in his favor. My only concern is that chief'll underestimate what Volcanion is capable of..]

"He does tend to get in-over his head.. Is there nothing we can do to aid them?"

[Hm.. As I said earlier, there just might be, lady chief.. However, it requires a procedure that.. erm.. I cannot do.. and.. I believe you may not personally be comfortable with performing.]

>Serena..
A) passes.
B) is open-minded enough to at least listen to the proposal.
C) agrees on the spot.

>>818892
B

>>818892
B
M-maybe it's just something messy.
O-or plain dirty game.

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>>818892
"I-I.. a procedure? I mean.. the way you word it, it sounds.. odd, very odd. And impure. But if it'll assist Calem.. I suppose I'm not.. completely opposed to it. What is it that I have to do?"

[Erm, well.. uh.. good question.. You, uh, you have to........... You must perform a jaunty showtune—for an individual that is not your betrothed.]

A) THE ABSOLUTE MADWOMAN
B) PASS PASS PASS PASS PASS

>>818995
A

>>818995
Sabotage and diversion!!!
BOMB THE BRIDGES, BURN THE FARMLANDS, GRIND THE CITIES TO DUST WITH CARPET BOMBINGS
A

>>818995
A, for Sycamore or the Frogue.

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>>818995
"A sh-showtune?!" Serena whispers, her composure rocked, as if to keep the salacious nature of their discussion under wraps to the barren wasteland around them. "O-Out here in the open? R-Right now?!"

[Yes, and yes. You must sing and dance for the sake of the world. And you must do it right here, right now, with no censorship whatsoever.]

"But, but why?! I-It.. It's just so.. out of nowhere.. not to mention indecent.."

[I do not make the rules, lady chief. I only perpetually monitor and sic Land Wrath's on the people that choose not to follow them.]

"H-How does this even help Calem?!"

[It is for Squiggly's sake, lady chief. Earlier.. when I talked about hypothetically unleashing my full potential—a potential beyond even this Forme—I mentioned another Zygarde Core would be required to manifest the remaining fifty-percent of Zygarde Cellsneeded to achieve Sheer Perfection. There is a chance we can still do that, and tap into that power.]

"Sheer... Perfection.."

[I meant to save this little task for the chief to perform—because he'll do just about anything, no questions asked—but seeing as he's preoccupied, you're the only candidate who can do it. Only the h o r m o n a l s t i m u l a t i o n of a relaxing jacuzzi and a p e r s o n a l showtune can hope to revive an unconscious Zygarde Core. Chief asked for a giant fighting robot, it's only fair that I do everything in my power to make his wish come true.]

"W..Well.. when you put it that way..

At that moment, two Gibles pass by.

"SLUUUUUUUT!!"
"I heard she'll dance for ANYBODY! Did you even read the Christmas special!?"
"DO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO"

. . .

. . .

. . .

"I'm going to require a cane. Stat."

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>>819418
——————————————————————————————————————————
"Alas, what the Gibles did not know was that the joke was on them, for they would contract spontaneous scoliosis mere days later."

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>>819478
——————————————————————————————————————————
[Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhh! FOOOOOOCUUUUUUUS BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAST!!]

Volcanion pours all his steam and might into a devastating Focus Blast onslaught, lobbing deadly shots left and right with his arm cannons. Using friendship telepathy, you don't even need to tell Greninja where to dodge, as soon as you think it, he knows it.

"Ja, ja, ja, ja, ja, ja, ja, ja, ja, ja!"

Greninja sidesteps each bombarding bullet without breaking a sweat, keeping himself calm in order to help you stay calm. So far, your focus hasn't wavered, and that's a good thing.

[Acting like you can dodge forever is foolish! Sooner or later, you're going to make a MISTAKE!]

Even with two rapid-fire cannons and dead-on precision, Greninja is simply too fast for Volcanion to keep track of. Of the guesstimated hundreds of shots he fires, none of them connect, and each wispy sidestep closes the gap between them, closer and closer, until..

[Huh!?]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9i4T6nRPC1Q
"InJA!"

>Greninja's Attack rose!

Greninja sucker punches Volcanion in the mug again, this time with a piercing Power-Up Punch. The sheer knockback sends the steam champeen flying, whereupon he finally touches ground by slamming into a rock.

[Gaaaahhh!]

"GreNIN!"

Greninja lands and immediately strikes a pose to go along with it, but breaks out of it to catch you like a princess. "Looks like you should take your own advice, dude! That was like, five mistakes right there!"

"Ja ja!"

[Kuuh... We're just getting STARTED!]

A) Use Shadow Sneak!
B) Use Extrasensory!
C) Use Swagger!

>>820399
C

>>820399
C. I request that you use Madworld's "Look Pimpin'."

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>>820399
>You used Swagger!
"Psssssssshhhhhhhhhhhh.. You sure about that familia? This looks like it'll be over within a spicy move or two if you ask me! What do you think, Greninja? Can he keep going? I mean, you think he would, he's 'sposed to be this big bad scary invincible mythical, but we've already got him cornered!"

Greninja reels his tongue into his mouth, just to immaturely stick it out at Volcanion. "Nin nin niiiiin~"

You can't say you know exactly why you did what you just did (maybe it's because he's just so easy to poke fun at?), but whatever the reason, its effect comes into play instantly.

>Volcanion's Attack rose sharply!
>Volcanion is confused!

[GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! TONGUE-TAUNTING WAS CONSIDERED A RACIAL SLUR THREE-THOUSAND YEARS AGOOOOOOO!! S U P E R P O W E R ! ! !]

A) Use Aerial Ace!
B) Use Rock Tomb!
C) Use Substitute!

>>820527
B.
Shut em up.

>>820527
C, just keep spamming substitute until he hits himself in confusion lol

>>820527
C

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>>820527
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bk5rvhXahZU
>Volcanion is confused!
>. . .
>Volcanion used Superpower!
"Ooooh... I was afraid he would bypass the confusion check.. Why does that shit always work for the opponent but not for us?"

"Nin niin.."

"You said it.. Welp! He actually looks pretty angry now, we should probably stop fucking around with him.. also I should probably scooch the fuck out of the way before he blurs the line between trainer and Pokemon even further.."

Greninja sets you on the ground, and never again will you feel his strong, froggy arms caressing your twinkly body alright that's enough of that, this bond doesn't go THAT deep. "Thanks—OH! Almost forgot! Remember, we gotta stick away from Water-type moves, alright?"

"Gre!"

"This guy's quick to agitate, which means aggression out the ass—but his reserves aren't infinite. Remember how they emptied earlier and he relied on our blunder to refuel? Well, now we know not to do that!"

"Gren!"

"His Ability lets him slurp up water from any available source. If we can somehow get him to deplete his water supply again.. he'll run out of steam! So uh.. no agua-agua STAB for now, capeesh?"

Greninja salutes you with a croak. "KouGA!"

"Right, that's the spirit! I'd give you some strats, buuut I'm running on short notice. Maybe try Substitute for now? I-I'll think of something, no worr—OH GOD HERE HE COMES!"

[CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHOO CHOOOO]

"Is.. Is he pretending he's a train!?"

[I'VE BEEN AWAKE FOR CENTURIES, HUMAN!! I KNOW NAUGHT BUT STEAM AND AGONY!]

"He's trying to confuse us with community college-level poetry! SUBSTITUTE!"

"Jaaaa!"

>Greninja used Substitute!
>Greninja brought in a substitute!

Greninja chips in a fourth of his health and hops out of the picture, a substitute doll taking his place just as Volcanion lands Superpower.

[STEAM. AND. AGOOOOONYYYYY!!]

The steam champeen slams into the substitute doll at full force, wrecking it to fluffy, smoldering shreds in the blink of an eye.

>Volcanion's Attack was lowered.. (+1)
>Volcanion's Defense was lowered.. (-1)

>The substitute took damage for Greninja!
>The substitute faded..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
"Well.. that bought me about two seconds worth of thinking time! ... Why the heck did we raise his Attack THEN make the Substitute?! That just makes it easier for him to break it! Who's in charge of these plays?!?!?!"

"Jaaaa.."

"Oh. Right. Me."

A) Use Night Slash!
B) Use Low Kick!
C) Use Protect!

>>821884
C

>>821884
B Volcanion weights like 500lbs, so Low Kick should do a lot + he has lowered Defense.

>>821884
B

>>821884
B

>>821884
B. He's angry, unstable, and confused. Knocking him to the ground will only add to this chaos and tucker him out even faster.

>>821884
B
Make him bite the dust

B

Also Nate, I was reading through the older chapters, are we ever gonna find out who Calem's childhood friend was?

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>>822822
I never forget details.

>>821884
[PATHETIC!] Volcanion snaps and stomps mercilessly on the stuffed remains of Greninja's short-lived substitute with, well, Stomp. [That barely took any effort at all. Human! Get a good look at what's left of this tattered toy! Consider it a pitiful monument to your battle prowess! Your tactics are no better than amateur stalling!]

"You shut your steamy whore mouth! Greninja, LOW KICK!"

"Gre gre!"

[Gehahaha! You'd best get used to this doll, because once I'm done you'll be its SPITTING IMAGE!]

Low Kick works best on heavier opponents, and Volcanion's far from a lightweight. Knocking him to the ground when he's at his most chaotic could just be the pivot you've been searching for.

"Grennnn!"

Greninja rushes at Volcanion at breakneck speed, legs ready to literally kick him down a notch. Just as he nears the steam champeen, however..

[Not so fast, frog! STONE EDGE!]

>Volcanion is confused!
>. . .
>Volcanion used Stone Edge!
>A critical hit!

Volcanion stomps on the ground with both his forelegs at just the right time, critically piercing Greninja with jagged stones that break through the surface, cockblocking Low Kick. "J-Jaaaaaaaa!" Greninja is stopped in his tracks, hitting the ground and tumbling.

"Again!? How does he keep doing that!?"

[You're losing your edge!] Volcanion taunts, cannons set on the fallen frog. [What happened to that haughty talk from earlier?!]

A) Use Dig!
B) Use Dark Pulse!
C) Use Haze!

>>823694
B
>Stone Edge
>actually hitting
I call bullshit.

>>823694
B

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Haze would have resulted in a hits-itself-in-confusion.

>>823694
[Gehahaha! I get it!] Volcanion calls from his side of the field. [You feel intimidated!] he deduces.

"What?!" you snap back at him. "No way! I'd have started crying ages ago if that were the case!"

[There's no use in hiding it anymore! Or are you truly so dense? I've rendered nearly half of your Greninja's attacks utterly obsolete—and I didn't even have to lift a finger!]

"Agh!...he's good... S-So!? What difference does that make!? We have coverage!"

[The inherent nature of my body nullifies your most strongest attacks! Not by immunity—but by fear! You're aware that you cannot use them, because if you do you'll only be aiding the opposition! You're forcing yourself to rely on coverage, when your coverage is miserable!]

[This was to be your special snowflake's greatest moment, a demonstration of his power.... A POWER HE CANNOT USE!]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvvTacquttk
>Volcanion got smug!
>Volcanion snapped out of its confusion!
>Volcanion used Steam Eruption!

[EAT HYDRO-SCALD!]

"For your information, we have TWO STABs! Greninja, DARK PULSE!

"J-Jaa!" Greninja gets up and shakes off the earlier Stone Edge to combat the approaching Steam Eruption with an eerie Dark Pulse. "KouGAA!" he lobs an aura of horrible fantasies faster than he can conjure them. The two attacks collide and instantly cancel each other out, but the turn ends with Greninja looking worse for wear.

[What's wrong? Starting to feel TIRED!?! We've only just begun!]

A) Use Shadow Sneak!
B) Use Gunk Shot!
C) Use Fling!
D) Use Smokescreen!

>>824556
C. Throw rocks in his tubes.

>>824556
D

>>824556
B. Throw filthy garbage into his tubes.

>>824556
A

>>824556
B.

>>824556
>>824644
This, that's gotta be bad for the plumbing

>>825136
Oops, I forgot to actually say my vote.

--B--

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>>824556
>'Man.. I hate when people read us like a book..'

You think to yourself, and by extension, Greninja.

>'He's figured out that we can't even use our own moveset against him..'

>'That damn ability... If only there was some way we could bypass that.. or at the very least cripple him to even the score..'

[Hmph.. If you're too exhausted to even put up a fight, then I guess you won't mind if I end this right here. SOLAR BEAM!]

>Volcanion began absorbing light!

Volcanion exposes his cannons in order to gather energy from the sun, a two-step process with a lethal payoff. [No pressure on the wait.] he mutters, almost as if in justification. [There's little you can do in a single turn.]

>'Hm... those tube cannons....'

>'Really makes me think.............................................................................................................................................'

".........................................................Oh shit, I GOT IT! Greninja! GUNK SHOT!"

"Jaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Fighting against his own fatigue, Greninja conjures a filthy, festering bag of garbage between his palms. Having shared your light-bulb moment, he knows exactly where to lob it. But first—he splits the gunk in two.

"GRENNNNNJAAAA!"

He slings both at Volcanion, but rather than taking the obviously desirable route and aiming for his face, Greninja instead aims for..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
[H-Huh?! GYAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH—!!]

Volcanion shivers uncontrollably, an uncomfortable coolness surging through him as two clumped clots of garbage clog his precious cannons. [WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO MY CANNONS!?]

"Wew, that's exactly what I asked when they introduced the Multiverse!"

A) Use Acrobatics!
B) Use Extrasensory!
C) Use Rock Slide!

>>826169
B for uncomfortable implications

>>826169
B.
Fuck multiverse though

>>826169
B. Psychic is super-effective against Poison, so it'll cause the Gunk Shot inside Volcanion's cannons to explode and make everything extra gross.

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>>826169
[You realize... THAT WOULD HAVE COUNTED AS SEXUAL ASSAULT THREE-THOUSAND YEARS AGO!? IS IT POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO GET ANY MORE DEPRAVED!?]

"That's what you get when you mess with the best, chum! You get.. uh.. GARBAGE in your tubes!"

[You're sick! I'll have to wipe these from the inside-out when I'm done wiping the floor with you. Now I REALLY thirst for cold dousing!]

"Well too bad, you're just gonna have to deal with it! Greninja, let's top this off! Mindfuck his membrane further with Extrasensory!"

"Injaaaa!"

Greninja attacks the now-defenseless Volcanion, kicking his already-kicked down spirit further with Extrasensory. "Greniiiiiiiiin....JA!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAafqR6RMdM
[Gaaaaaaaaahhhh!! Wh-What is this?! What toad sorcery have you cast upon me?!]

An odd unforeseeable sixth sense strikes Volcanion, entangling his feeble mind with vivid, surreal imagery. Its power is all the more enhanced by the gunk in his cannons, as everyone knows trash is totally susceptible to the wonders of the mind.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfMwcMFE7gc
>Volcanion flinched!

[Gyaaaaaahhhhh!!]

The garbage spontaneously combusts as a result of the heavy psychic interference, leaving Volcanion covered in dirt, muck, grime, and his own discombobulated shame. [K-Kuhhhh........Wa..Water.... Waaaaterrr.....!!]

"His supply's been contaminated!"

>'Hm... his cannons are his greatest strength.. and his biggest weakness!'

>'That lasso trick we did earlier..'

>'I think I'm starting to get what Zibber was talking about.. but I'll need a distraction..'

A) Use Water Shuriken!
B) Use Scald!
C) Use Rain Dance!

>>826655
A, with his cannons are stuffed up, he can't defend

>>826655
A
Is Water Shuriken special in this canon?

>>826655
C for drizzly distraction.

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>>827190
Sure, why not?

>>826655
"Greninja, Water Shuriken!—but don't hit him!

"Jaaaaaa!"

Greninja compresses a single Water Shuriken, enough to tantalize Volcanion in his desperate state, and slings it at him in a curved arc.

[W-Water....!]

Volcanion immediately perks up at the sight of a water source and stretches out either of his cannons to absorb it. However, due to to the curveball throw, the passing shuriken is just slightly out of his reach.

[No...! So... close....!]

In his struggle to absorb the distraction, his other cannon is left unguarded..

A) Learn a new move!

>>827662
A

>>827662
A.

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>>827662
"Greninja, NOW! AIM FOR THE TUUUUUUUUUBE!"

"Grennnniiiiiiiinnn!"

With Volcanion distracted, sullied, and driven bonkers by the slow-motion Water Shuriken that's a measly inch out of his reach, Greninja dives in for the kill. Sprinting at maximum narutoad speed, he clenches Volcanion's vulnerable cannon and seizes it from him.

"JA!"

The steam champeen snaps out of his dirt-induced delusions in an instant, feeling the frog's cold clutch and realizing his error two seconds too late.

[WHAT THE—AGH!! NO! NOT AGAIN! HAVEN'T YOU DONE ENOUGH TO THEM!? DOES IT ONLY COUNT AS GRATIFYING IF YOU PLUG THE PICKLE IN UPFRONT!?]

"NOW GRENINJA! BRUTAL SWING!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQLMqJtoV4o
>Greninja mastered Brutal Swing!
>Greninja used Brutal Swing!

"JAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Using the full extent of the power of friendship, Greninja channels your inner quarter-half gains and infuses them with his own strength to literally yank and heave a 429.9 lb Pokemon by the cannon off the ground. It's quite the spectacle.

[AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA]

"Bingo!"

A) So Long, Gaycanion!

>>828021
A

>>828021
A. There needs to be a conveniently placed bomb for Volcanion to land on.

>>828021
A.

>>828021
A

>tfw end soon
>tfw no time to prepare
>tfw it's almost done

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>>828021
>{Meanwhile . . . }

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj1FifK3bbg
"I love to sing-a~"

"About the moon-a and the June-a and the spring-a!"

"I love to sing-a~"

"About a sky of blue-a, or a tea for two-a!"

"Anything-a with a swing-a to an 'I love you-a'~"

"I love to, I love to sing!"

Zygarde stares at your wife (censored with a black bar for propriety's sake) with a completely flabbergasted face, a total 'Wow I didn't think she was actually gonna do it!' face. Such vocals, such movement, all coming from such a tranquil woman. It should be illegal.

"I love to sing-a~"

"I love to wake up with the south-a in my mouth-a!"

"And wave a flag-a~"

"With a cheer for Uncle Sammy and another for my mammy!"

"I love to siiing!~"

A strange thing to note, but she's honestly never looked more lively—a vibrant, jubilant woman expressing her heart through the art of interpretive dance. Squiggly—the only other member in the audience—begins reacting to the tune, slowly bopping his little body to the beat.

Zygarde Cores are weird.

>Serena..
A) keeps going long after Squiggly wakes up.
B) attracts an even bigger audience.
C) now wants to take you up on that dance fantasy you had two nights ago.

>>828587
C

>>828587
A.

>>828587
C

>tfw you prolly will never have someone even as 1/10th dedicated as she is
it hurts to live

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>>828587
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6viZWYYLu4
[I'm alive! I'M ALIVE! I'M ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!~]

Rejuvenated by your wife's lovely voice and spicy moves, Squiggly hops to its figurative feet and begins bouncing zealously. [Squi-Squiggly!] Zygarde exclaims. [Y-You've awoken!]

Serena cuts a dainty pirouette short upon seeing the revitalized rookie Core wake up. "O-Oh my! I can't believe it! I-It.. It actually worked!"

If Squiggly had a mouth, it would drop at the colossal sight standing before it. [Z-Zibber! Is that you?!] it gasps. [You've.. You've grown!]

[Correct and at the same time not correct, Squiggly, I've clocked into fifty-percent Forme. Much has transpired since you were blacked out. Like, a lot, you pretty much missed the whole chapter.]

[I DID!? How!? W-What have I missed?! What's happening!? All I remember was that monster.. Oh crackers! He hasn't destroyed everything, has he?!]

[His name is Volcanion, and he's caused much ruin—partially out of spite, partially out of a confused heart and deserted sense of purpose, yes, but we still have a chance to close the book on him—and we'll need your assistance in order to do it.]

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>>829396
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iy6iaF1OX3s
As the two Cores prattle on about PLOT and get each other up to speed, Serena briefly lapses back into her lofty state of mind, a radiant blush coating her cheeks. A sigh contentedly escapes her, and she places a hand over her still-beating heart in reflection.

"That was.. refreshing.~"

"But even so.. I don't know what came over me."

"I thought of him, and how much he needed me within that instant, and.. and my heart wouldn't stop."

"To go to such lengths.. for somebody you truly care for.."

She covers her mouth and giggles.

"I suppose he was right after all. I do owe him a dance."

A) Press A to marry x10.
B) Press B to marry x100.
C) Press C to marry x1000.
D) All of the above.

>>829465
D for marry x1110. Or is it x1000000?

>>829465
D

>>829473
Yes

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>>829465
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
[HEY! Lady chief! This is no time to be lovingly daydreaming!]

"A-Ah? I-I—I was not! Y-You're mistaken!"

[Whatever you say, lady chief. Listen! Squiggly has agreed to offer its strength and merge with our hivemind to create the ULTIMATE collective conscious! Sheer Perfection is on the horizon! However! We ask that you join us in order to coordinate the assault. You are the only woman smart and funny enough (within our immediate vicinity) to do it.]

"Of course! Without question but.. exactly what is it that have I to do?"

[Oh. You'll see. Leave that part to us.]

A) 形ジガルデ・100%フォルム!!!

>>829561
A.

>>829561
A...?

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>>829561
——————————————————————————————————————————
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McudYg2SqJI

[O-Oh geez, this is my first real time doing this.. C-CELLS! U-Um, WHEREVER YOU ARE, PLEASE COME FORTH! STOP DAWDLING! YOUR CORE NEEDS YOU! YOUR ECOSYSTEM NEEDS YOU!! WE ALL NEED EACH OTHER! MAKE HASTE! I SUMMON YOU NOW SO THAT WE MAY COME TOGETHER AS O N E !]

[M-MANIFEST——FIFTY-PERCENT FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORME!!!!!]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9i4T6nRPC1Q
Just as Zibber did before, Squiggly shouts to the heavens with ever-flowing determination, a lime-green glow emanating from its gelatinous body. Soon, its call is heard and its prayers are answered. The remaining fifty-percent of Zygarde Cells rush in from all corners of the region to join forces with Squiggly, merging with it and forming a second orderly amalgamation.

[ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!]

A second fifty-percent Zygarde, commanded by Squiggly's platoon, emerges!

"U-Unbelievable! A s-second Zygarde!"

[CORRECT, lady chief! Feel free to be amazed! Clapping is permitted, but please no flash photography! What you're witnessing is the true power of cellular resonance! And we're still not done! Squiggly, let's merge!]

[R-Righto!]

A) 究極の完成度!!!活性化!

>>829752
A

>>829752
A.

>>829752
A!

>>829752
A!

I promise not to fuck up with herbs this time!

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>>829752
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMHk9oRHPn0

[RELEVANCY IS IRRELEVANT!]

[POPULARITY DOESN'T MATTER!]

[WE DON'T NEED A THIRD GAME!]

[TRUE POWER COMES FROM WITHIN!]

[THEY SAID WE COULD BE ANYTHING..]

[S O W E C H O S E T O B E P E R F E C T I O N !]

[MANIFEST. . .]

[COMPLETE. . .]

[FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORME! ! !]

Zibber and Squiggly simultaneously collide into each other, meshing each other's collective hivemind of Zygarde Cells to create one perfect entity.

Two halves at long last become whole, and the result..

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>>830214
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8UVKnBJ0rc
[PERFECTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ! ! ! ]

"... A bit over the top, no?"

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>>830222
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGRIxbdSKHU
[Aww.. lady chief! You're not supposed to say that! You're supposed to say 'Neee, Zygarde, you're so cool and perfect! I'm sorry for underestimating you! I always believed in you! I want to see you cut a whole buiding in half!']

Despite the absolute upgrade in badassery, the Order Pokemon's Complete Forme still retains the tonal inflection and personality of its commandeering Core.

A) Apologize to Zygarde.
B) Don't apologize.

>>830277
A, humor it... them... it

>>830277
A for the Amie boost.

>>830277
(A) P O L O G I Z E

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>>830277
"Hm..." Serena hums as she casually approaches the gigantic omnipotent colossus. "In retrospect, you do have a rather menacing physique. I suppose the theatrics are warranted for this level of damage control.. I humbly withdraw my underwhelmed impressions. Now, are you going to give me a lift, or not?"

[Zzzzz... I feel like you're being a little coy about it.. but we'll accept it! Please climb aboard, lady chief! Chronic environmental cleansing awaits!]

The Order Pokemon kneels and literally lends Serena a hand, bestowing upon her a regal shortcut to the titan's crown-shaped head. "My, my.. If only we weren't in a desert.. I could comment on how all the peasants below look like Durants.."

[And you'd be right to make such a comparison! Also lady chief, I advise that you immediately drop everything and prepare yourself because we are about to shift into maximum overdrive.]

"E-Eh? Excuse me?"

[Don't worry, don't worry! We'll tell you when to fire! You're a trainer, lady chief! You can do this!... provided chief doesn't botch the timing.]

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>>830674
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQCX4lrXzMg
[GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THIS BUILD-UP?! I'VE NEVER BEEN SWUNG AROUND FOR SO LONG! FOR AZOTH'S SAKE I'VE NEVER BEEN SWUNG AT ALL BEFORE TODAY!! YOU'RE ALL PSYCHOOOOOOPAAAAAAAAAAATHS!]

Cue back to you, Greninja, and an utterly helpless Volcanion—who has been a passenger on your wild ride for quite some time now (but only because you want to make sure the impending finisher is absolutely perfect). You turn around to get a glimpse at what's been going on behind the scenes, and you can't help but crack a smile.

Giant.

Fighting.

ROBOT.

Zibber came through.

"Greninja!" you call to your starter with a boosted sense of boyhood enthusiasm. "They're ready! Let's nuke this sucker! BRUTAL SWING HIM AT ZYGARDE!!"

A) C H U C K ' E M

>>830751
A.
Call him something very insulting though.

>>830751
A.

I'M GONNA CHUCK IT

>>830751
A

>>830751
A

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>>830751
[GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH——IT DIDN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY!... IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO END LIKE THIS.. ALL... YOU HAD TO DO...... WAS UNDERSTAAAAAAAAAAAAND!]

"You know what?! I understand! UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE A HOTHEAD! GRENINJA, C H U C K ' E M TO KINGDOM FUCKING COME!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAafqR6RMdM
"Grrrrrrrrrrreee............niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin.............JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

>>831230
>this gif
still salty
always salty
even when in 20000000000000000000 AD they will ask allknowing mainframe "Is Anon still salty about XYZ38?", the answer will still be "Yes, he is"

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>>831230
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__O0RRiWcpk
[Mangina...]
[No... Magearna.]

[How long has it been...]
[Since that day you left....]

[Even now.. centuries later...]
[I still don't understand...]
[Why you made that decision..]

[Why you lied, and left me here...]
[All these years.. I wanted to believe in you.]
[That one day, you would come back..]

[As time went on... I became angry..]
[That hatred drove me.. conjured fears.. manifested doubt...]
[I allowed it to warp my perception of you.]

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>>831245
[I wanted someone to blame.. someone to blame for that mindless war..]
[An outlet to contain that rage..]
[The only face I could think of.. was yours... then I heard that story..]

[I suppose.. in truth..]
[It isn't the Azoth Kingdom that I miss..]
[It's you.]

[My light is fading.]
[Maybe it's for the best.. Without you, I'm nothing. I have no tethers left to this world. No purpose.]
[If you truly are gone.. Maybe I'll see you again.. in a better life.]

[I regret feigning ignorance of your idolization..]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyAyk1mF9OM
[In the end.. I regret... everything.]

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>>831249
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocVqHhVU3FU
Volcanion is savagely flung across the battlefield, whereupon he enters Zygarde's range. The Order Pokemon steels itself, preparing for the big finish.

[Okay lady chief! This is it! I want.. I want you to overclock my power!]

"O-Overclock? That sounds dangerous.. Are you sure?"

[Don't worry about us! We'll be fine! Even if it seems a little scary.. We.. We made a promise to help you no matter the cost! We owe you that and so much more for helping us today—reuniting us, unlocking our greatest potential!]

[It's only fair that we do everything in our power to return the favor!]

A) Use Core Enforcer!

>>831251
A

>>831251
A

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>>831251
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=356Z4qD201Q
"Zygarde..."

"I see.. In that case.. I won't hold back either. I'll do it! Zygarde! I command you.. to unleash your ultimate judgment!"

[ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA]

Channeling the full crux of its cellular energy, Zygarde pounds its massive fists together and roars as it resonates with all one-hundred percent of its zygotes. Drawing power from each and every one of them, the Order Pokemon bursts forth with a flaring green aura, launching itself and Serena into the sky as Volcanion draws near.

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>>831731
Soaring to the limits on its wings, Zygarde opens the gaping 'mouth' on its chest, revealing a fleeting glimpse of its blindingly bright beating heart. Pooling its gathered power, it begins charging a destructive, multi-colored orb of ethereal energy in its mouth. Without any delay, it snaps and launches the collective blast at the steam champeen.

[C O R E . . . .

E N F O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O R C E R ! ! !]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9i4T6nRPC1Q
Volcanion is without hope, and is soundly defeated as he passes into Core Enforcer's line of fire. The calamitous beam pierces right through his hardened shell of a body, and scars the battlefield below with an enormous Z-shaped pattern.

[Ma............gea—]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgEbJKWV0Vo
That immediately explodes.

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>>831739
——————————————————————————————————————————
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irKZNSj-jlI
[Is this... the afterlife?]

[The end of the road....?]

[. . .]

[I can't believe I'm fucking dead.]

[Everything... is burning..]

[And yet.. I feel nothing.]

A) "YOU'RE NOT DEAD, DUMBASS"

>>831820
A.

>>831820
A

>>831820
A. Get up you turtley-ass hula hoop.

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>>831820
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
"YOU'RE NOT DEAD, DUMBASS!"

Volcanion blinks, befuddled, and weakly turns around to see you approaching him.

[I... huh?]

You coolly step through the clean-burning hells of the fiery Z scar and confront the steam champeen, defeated and demeaned. The rest of your party observes from afar, Greninja shifting back into his regular form, Zygarde returning Serena to the surface.

"You just fainted." you bluntly explain, stopping right in front of him so he can't possibly ignore you. "It's only been five minutes."

[Hah........ hah.......]

[I.. haven't perished.....]

[So.... you've come...... to finish me off then..?]

A) "As much as I want to.. nah."
B) "You don't feel like you've been punished enough already?"
C) "No. That was never my intention."
D) "I'm not that kind of person. It'd stain my public rep."

>>831911
C.

>>831911
>C) "No. That was never my intention."

>>831911
C.

>>831911
A

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>>831911
"No. That was never my intention."

[Then... why...!]

"All I ever wanted was for you to calm the fuck down."

A) "And it seems like you have, so my work here is done."
B) "Have you learned your lesson?"
C) "You need to let go of the past."

>>831962
C.

>>831962
C.

>>831962
C

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>>831962
https://soundcloud.com/jacobsteakfries/dfikqohlj9pz
Volcanion lowers his gaze to the ground, solemn, as if he'd rather prefer a shameful death at this point. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why.

"You need to let go of the past, man. Seriously." you tell him, causing him to look up.

[But...]

"It isn't healthy. Look, I get it. What happened all those years ago was terrible.. but it's in the past. What's done is done. You can storm all you want, but you can never go back to those days, no matter how hard you try."

Each word you utter feels like a stab to the heart. He cringes with each harsh, horrible truth you throw at him, too weak to even retaliate.

"But.. that doesn't mean it's over. They say 'nothing lasts forever', and I believe that—but the saying goes both ways. Every time a road comes to an end, find a new one."

[A new... one..?]

Embers flicker in the background, his eyes glimmer.

"Live your life to the fullest. Every road you take is but a leg in your lifelong journey. Instead of looking to recoup the past, you should look towards the future. Cherish the memories and experiences you've made, and move onto something even greater."

"I think.. I think that's what Magearna would want. For you to keep on living, while making something of yourself. If she really is still out there.. I have no doubt she'll agree."

His disposition changes, and for a moment you feel like you've finally gotten to him, but his somber mood returns.

[Calem..]

You blink.

[I.. want to put faith into you.. but how can I?]

[I've lived for so long with purpose, with meaning, with a reason to live.. Without one, my facade crumbles..]

[It's only been mere days since I realized I had nothing left in this world.. and I already allowed my own madness to consume me...]

[This world is so alien to me.. How can I expect to find this new road you speak of.. when I don't even know where to start?]

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>>832367
". . ."

The distant Lumiose City catches your attention.

"I think I have an idea."

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>>832381
——————————————————————————————————————————
https://soundcloud.com/spaciously-dandy/hot-wind
>"PROTESTS"

>"RIOTS"

>"LIBERAL PROFESSORS GIVING MILLENNIAL STUDENTS FREE PASSES ON TESTS AND PLAY-DOH TO COPE WITH!"

>"IT'S THE BIGGEST PLOT TWIST IN KALOS HISTORY! ! !"

>"THAT'S RIGHT MINDLESS PEDESTRIAN DRONES, WHILE YOU WERE OUT DOING WHO KNOWS WHAT—LUMIOSE HAS ELECTED ITS NEXT MAYOR!!"

>"IN A STUNNING ELECTION UPSET THE LIKES OF WHICH NO ONE HAS SEEN BEFORE—SWORN-IN INCUMBENT MAYOR PHANTRUMP SOUNDLY DEFEATS QUILLARY CLINTON IN A LANDSLIDE VICTORY, EARNING HIS FIRST OFFICIAL TERM AS MAYOR!"

>"Miss Quillary could not be reached for comment, though this reporter firmly believes that her buttrustled anus is beyond all redemption so who cares! We join you now with Mayor Phantrump for his first official address to the public regarding his unanticipated victory."

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>>832879
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
"Is this a fucking dream how did I win holy shit WHAT TIMELINE IS THIS?"

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>>832889
>"As you can see, we're ALL a little dumbfounded at Mayor Phantrump's unprecedented rise from the ashes! Could we have all possibly shifted into an episode of Sliders?"

>"Whatever the case may be, change has already begun to sweep the region. Empowered by his emotional victory, Mayor Phantrump has already made biiiiiig plans regarding the future of our generic, conventional lives! In fact, I have his first major announcement right here, ahem..."

>"Starting today. . ."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eui-QTiY3Jw
>"THE KALOS REGION IS NOW POWERED BY HYDROPOWER!!"

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>>832935
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8POEgUgOvI
>"For those of you tuning in with us tonight, you may recall an incident that occurred just yesterday—in which the mayor appeared to have knocked out the region's electricity in an obnoxious attempt to boast-slash-appeal to the audience at a debate."

>"FOX News can now confirm with 100% certainty that . . . . that was an entirely intentional, staged event! Indeed! The mayor's running mate and local PR damage controller Calem Calemson has hastily informed this reporter that the mayor wanted to knock out the region's power grid—"

>"—IN ORDER TO PROVE HOW DANGEROUS AND ENVIRONMENTALLY INEFFICIENT IT WAS!"

>"Mr. Calemson, who is also the very brave and courageous first LGBTAQKLSRT champion of our region's Pokemon League, went on to say that the entire ruse was a haaaaarmless hoax meant to draw attention to the mayor's newly-revealed alternative source of energy—water and steam!"

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>>833026
>"WOW! What convenience! What trustworthy marketing! This reporter regrets not voting for that hunk of a tree trunk now!"

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>>833033
——————————————————————————————————————————
>{MAYORAL/PROPAGANDA RALLY - CENTRICO PLAZA - LUMIOSE CITY}
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiG2xO-4Y-s
"Holy Honedges, new mascot! T-T.. They're totally falling for it! I.. I can't believe this! You actually did it.. I don't know how, but you actually did it, the madman, you REALLY fixed everything! I-I can't thank you enough for all you've done!"

A) "Well, you know meeeeeee.."
B) "Uh well. There is the mandatory charge for hiring me, sir."
C) "A reward would be pretty nice......"

>>833067
B for begging to remove crippling debt.

>>833067
>Caley route never
B.

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>>833067
>mfw remembering the GB chapter
Heh.
C

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>>833067
"Uh well. There is the mandatory charge for my services, sir."

"Mandatory charge? Ohhh charge, schmarge, new mascot! Didn't you say you had a motherload of debts to deal with when I hired you? That settles it! As of today... I am relieving you of all of your collateral debts to society! It's the least I can do for securing this election for me!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xB-wLwa8ESs
>Wow! You were relieved of your crippling debts! You're totally free to do whatever you want now! Even your mom is jelaous!

A) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
B) Faint.
C) Start crying
D) "Now I'm starting to wonder what timeline this is."

>>833134
C. We've been in debt since we killed that Nurse Joy almost 70 chapters ago. This is a very emotional experience for us.

>>833134
D for Dialga showing up to shuttle us off to the real timeline any minute now.

>>833134
C.

>>833134
C Goodbye Gen 6 ;_;7

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>>833134
https://youtu.be/H9nPf7w7pDI?t=111
This has to be a joke.

This has to be a dream.

Is he serious?

You..

You're finally free.

You're finally, finally free...

Tears start trailing down your cheeks.

"Oh god... Oh god!"

"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWW—IT'S HAPPENING!"

"IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING!"

"I... I.."

"I CAN FINALLY START SAVING UP FOR THE CHATEAU!"

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>>833756
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRfmFdaBdyk
"Woah woah woah! Hold your hype just a second there, new mascot! There's one more thing I forgot to mention.. See.. erm.. I'm afraid you can no longer act as my deputy mayor after today."

"H-Huh!? How come?!

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>>833796
"Well apparently.. those lucky few of higher powers have done some recent haphazard restructuring in their focus group department.. Their latest tests have determined that you are a character of waning relevance, and thus no longer somebody who deserves to be encouraged with any semblance of power."

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!?"

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>>833830
"CRY NOT NEW MASCOT, for our partnership was a PRETTY SWEAT RIDE OVERALL . . . . . . . up until that point. You needn't worry about the whole shebang really, we already have a brand new deputy mayor set to replace you effective today!"

"Really? Who?!"

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>>833859

"OH GOD.. I'M SO HAPPY *sniff* I'VE NEVER WON ANYTHING BEFORE IN MY WHOLE LIFE... THIS IS SO AWESOME!! THANK YOU ALL!!"

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>>833887
"I feel like this is all going to go to his head.."

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>>833908
You are promptly rushed off-stage so that the much more popular and lovable Tierno can step in and replace you. Effective this insignificant minute, you are hereby discharged of adhering to the mayor's petty duties as his prime lackey. Alas, it is truly the end of an era.

"What a draining client, seriously.."

"Oh well.. At least he seems happy."

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All I want is for Calem and Serena to live happily ever after in their chateau in the woods.