Scrumptious Calem and Kuudere Serena's Tubular Voyage Part

File: obcff9guPB1r40ot.png (195KB, 540x306px) Image search: [Google]

195KB, 540x306px

>>672798
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1eXrh5SuH8
The beast emits a solemn moan and resigns itself to total isolation, a self-convicted fate drawn from halcyon days.

Its seclusion is short-lived, however, cut short by a presence.

[. . !]

Its eyes snap open and without a second thought the beast arms itself in preparation of a fierce defense, billows of boiling hot steam expelling from its flaring body at high-pressure. A warning shot is fired in tandem with an earsplitting roar, blistering torrents of water piercing the ground below and eroding it an instant.

The intruder, imperceptible to the naked eye but detected all the same, steps out of hiding—a thin hair from being caught in the crossfire.

File: q2k8WstH1rjenv.jpg (49KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

49KB, 500x500px

>>672807
"Kekeheheeeee... that was close.." he remarks as his color begins to return to him. "One more inch to the left and I'd be a pile of mush.. kekehee.. I guess that means this isn't a mirage.."

His tongue—elastic and elongated—slithers out of his mouth to lap at his upper lip as looks up and marvels at the deity standing before him. "The Steam Pokemon.. as I live in breathe.. So the rumors were true, you do wander these wastelands."

He receives no verbal response, instead, a cocking of arm cannons.

"Kuh!" the lizard shrieks, literally turning pale. "S-Su-Surly, aren't we? Lower those cannons, I'm not here to disturb you..."

The beast is conflicted, but in spite of better judgment, ultimately relents to hear him spin his tale.

"Yes... I think you'll be very interested to know that I come on urgent business..."

. . .

File: 39556422.jpg (114KB, 500x532px) Image search: [Google]

114KB, 500x532px

>>672819
——————————————————————————————————————————
[PRESENT DAY — PRESENT TIME]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aklrGH_G_j8
The sick, dark, disgusting shotaphile inside you wishes that you could grab Trevor's soft, perky little butt and pinch it for all its worth, but instead you make do with his cute widdle babyface cheeks. "A-Ahh! C-Crush-It Calem! W-What are you—t-there are people watching!"

"Awww!~" you gush over the meek, modest bookworm as if he were your own son, or a small Lillipup on the side of the road (has he actually gotten cuter since your last encounter with him?). "You don't want to see your friends fight in this big 'ol debate, don'tcha? " you coo, twisting his defense of Tierno into undiluted pacifism. "You won't have to worry about a thing, trust me, everything's gonna be okay. This whole debate's a load of baloney, it doesn't mean anything, it's just.. it's like.. think of it like.. a p-party! A party where we get to blow off a little steam!"

"Blow off a little steam.. and talk radical politics?"

File: 36662403.png (661KB, 912x1077px) Image search: [Google]

661KB, 912x1077px

>>672825
"Yeah, that!" you chime whilst slinging an arm around his shoulders. Maybe it's bad for you to be getting chummy with the competition, but fuck it, who cares, let them watch, you'd nuzzle this boyo's cheeks for six lifetimes if you could.

Fortunately a thought occurs to you before things get too homoerotic. "WAIT A MINUTE! What was that you said earlier!?

"H-Huh!?" Trevor squeaks. "Wh-What was what I said earlier?! What?!"

"Fiveminutestechnicallysixrealdaysago——about how Tierno became a candidate!"

"O-Oh! Um, I-I said, all he had to do was write his name in cursive a-and—"

A) "EUREKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
B) Dunk him.
C) Give his cueball a noogie.
D) Throw him into the nearest trash bin.

>>672835
D)

>>672835
WB nate who's your favorite starter mid evo?

D

>>672835
D

>>672798
>pic
>neverever
me is kind of sad.

>>672835
D

>nothing wrong with Brionne
I guess

>>672835
A), this seems like the closest one to giving him a thank you kiss.

File: 565312390.jpg (222KB, 632x690px) Image search: [Google]

222KB, 632x690px

>>673015
They're all fine. Torracat is a little generic.

You guys are bullies.
>>672835
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
"THAT'S IT!!!!!!" you suddenly exclaim at the top of your lungs, which would have made the hair on the back of Trevor's neck stand had he actually hit any growth spurts. "A-Ah!? W-What's it?!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfMwcMFE7gc
Without warning, you wrap your arms around the little ginger dork and shove him headfirst into the nearest trash can. "I have godawful penmanship and can't write in cursive at all! BUT I KNOW SOMEONE WHO CAN!"

File: 394086010.png (9KB, 300x400px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 300x400px

>>673195
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adWQPXQAG4A
[One hastily made call later!]

File: 14009325400.jpg (37KB, 450x500px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 450x500px

>>673183
You don't have any issues with Gardevoir right? So what's wrong with Brionne? Unless you just want to say the design in general is trash which is fine too, ~op~in~ions~

>>673354
——————————————————————————————————————————
"Oh my.. What did you say this paper was for again?"

"U-Uh! It's uh, a petition to..... er.....uh....... make those leaked starters fake!"

"Oh thank goodness.."

>>673365
Yeah, I was just more talking about its design just being all over the place. Those ears holy shit why

File: DECISION+20161[1].png (257KB, 1600x900px) Image search: [Google]

257KB, 1600x900px

>>673365
——————————————————————————————————————————
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okaW-YS0n9s
And now, live from Lumiose City's Centrico Plaza. . .

~ D E C I S I O N 2 0 1 6 ~

~ KINKY FRIDAY MAYORAL DEBATES ~

`With your moderator——FOX Anchorman Rupert Furdoch~

~~Because Even Your Harems Aren't Safe From the Seedy World of Politics™~~

File: bidoof_by_all0412-d6a5ktu.jpg (59KB, 1024x662px) Image search: [Google]

59KB, 1024x662px

>>673786
"Good evening everyone. Rupert Furdoch here, I've just ingested twenty unmarked pills from my guy and my temperament is now level-headed enough to allow me to host this panel without breaking out into hysterics, so let's get right down into it—First question is specifically for our new candidate: Serena Serenaughterton. Serena, you were self-nominated approximately ten seconds ago, what life-changing resolve brought you to make the impulsive decision to run for office?"

File: 428925639.png (138KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

138KB, 500x500px

>>673795
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGRIxbdSKHU
"Um...................."

>Serena...
A) bluntly states her circumstances.
B) lies through her teeth, you know, like real politicians.
C) shoots you the ugliest look ever.

>>673805
A. Her plight of being strung along by circumstances beyond her control will boost her popularity among the NPC voters.

>>673805
B.
That whole "Team Flare Puppet" ordeal might not go over very well with the voters.

>>673805
B. Not like it'll come back to bit us in the ass!

File: 1405543069294.jpg (318KB, 2507x3541px) Image search: [Google]

318KB, 2507x3541px

>>673805
Before she can even begin to comprehend the weekly nonsensical hullabaloo you've haplessly gotten her into, Serena is forced up onto a grand podium in front of a full house and demanded to answer the burning questions of the region's resident newsbeaver. All because of how elegant she writes her name.

"Ah..."

Serena blinks twice, poking at her microphone, faint booms resonating through the silent, waiting crowd. Within seconds, awkwardness is abound and it becomes readily apparent that your wife is not as good at improv as you are, and it takes her a good while before she can come up with a decent response (a very lukewarm first impression).

"I... I.. ah.. oh!"

"My ill-fated life began on these very streets, my parents left me on a doorstep alongside my younger brother, Lormont. They abandoned us, and we were taken into foster care. Lormont was subsequently diagnosed with mental retardation and spontaneous scoliosis, ailments which I did not understand at the time. It would be years before I realized what our physician truly meant when he said 'Your otouto will never not have scoliosis'."

"Lormont was to be released from the hospital that day, but because I was unable to sign his release form, he could not be let back into society... From that day onward, I crossed my heart and made a personal oath, I would learn how to read, I would learn how to write, and I would return and save my brother from that hellhouse.."

"I spent five long, grueling years perfecting my penmanship.. but by the time I had returned, Lormont had died, his spine imploding mere days after I had left. The doctors had never removed his body, and left him there to rot. And so, I accepted him, and buried what remained with my own blood, sweat, and tears."

File: 1405146914394.png (121KB, 410x579px) Image search: [Google]

121KB, 410x579px

>>675190
"Oh! And I desire to enter politics because I believe it's very stupid that a municipality largely dominated by homo sapiens is governed by Pokemon. I otherwise have no politlca experience whatsoever, and yet, I feel as if I have the greatest chance of winning the race despite having, as you mentioned, only signed up ten seconds ago. Fu fu fu."

A) Call her bluff.
B) Let it slide. She'll dig her own grave (not to say that you weren't the one who gave her the shovel in the first place).

>>675233
A

File: 200_s.gif (20KB, 267x200px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 267x200px

>>675233
>put on the spot
>first thing she thinks of is Lormont
>mfw Nate's plan is finally coming together

B

>>675233
B.

>>675233
B

RIP Lormont

>>675233
B
In worst case we can always try to pull of the Ragnarok.

File: 149596801302.jpg (80KB, 640x640px) Image search: [Google]

80KB, 640x640px

>>675233
"What the hell is she doing, what the hell is she doing, WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOIIIIIIING?!!!??!?"

Mayor Phantrump—your client and candidate you're personally representing—is unsurprisingly displeased with the sappy sob story and literal racist political motivations boldly set forth by your wife. The ghost snaps to you in a heartbeat, fuming with spectral gas expelling from his wispy tuft.

"What in the everloving FUCK is that chickadee doing, new mascot?!" he inquires in a seething, but hushed whisper. "That's the same woman I entrusted to watch over the diamond princess with you a few weeks ago!! Your cohort! Why the hell is she running for mayor when I need all the help I can get!?"

"E-Ehehe..." you awkwardly giggle, a hand scratching the back of your head. "I-I don't know, sir!~ She's so beautiful and unpredictable, I just can't keep a leash on her!........................ most of the time."

"Don't tell me YOU had something to do with this!"

"I may have tricked her into signing herself up... and that's like a hard may."

"WHAT THE HELL WOULD YOU COERCE YOU TO DO THAT?!?!??!?!?"

A) "I am not a very bright person, sir."
B) "It's 2016, women can run for office, sir. Get over it."
C) "I was hoping she'd make the other candidates look shit enough for you to look better by comparison, sir."
D) "The candidacy stipulation is incredibly exploitable, sir."

>>676260
C. Let's follow Serena's example and lie. What could possibly go wrong with repeatedly twisting the truth?

>>676260
D
I wonder who else will run. Anina?

>>676260
C.

File: 86.jpg (157KB, 441x550px) Image search: [Google]

157KB, 441x550px

>>676260
"Well, you see," you begin, following Serena's example and bullshitting your way through with a crafty truth-twisting charade. "I was hoping she would make the other candidates look shit enough for you to look better by comparison, cause y'know let's face it, there's no chance in hell you can succeed on your own merits, but uhhhh... bleeeeeehhhhhhh——turns out she's only throwing shade at you... sir."

"Then cut her off! This is a debate isn't it? Call her out! That's what you're supposed to do when the opponent talks shit! I'm not going to be made a fool of, send her back to the kitchen, new mascot! Accuse her cooch of being used goods!!"

"W-Woah woah, hold on sir! M-Maybe we should just let it slide! W-We, uh, don't want to appear hostile and all, forget about her, let her dig her own grave! Focus on Quillary!"

"Hrmm... bahh, I guess you're right, for once. I still have great faith in my people, there's no chance in hell they'll fall for her crooked lies!"

As he declares this, Furdoch finishes reeling from Serena's gut-wrenching story. His mouth is agape, much like everyone in the audience behind him. "I... uh.... wow... just.... wow.. Miss Serenaughterton, everybody. Okay, moving on: Our next issue of the evening concerns an incredibly dire local controversy. Candidates, if elected—What will you do about all the bundt cakes?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QT8zbfBhUWI
"..........................bundt cakes?" the mayor murmurs. You wish you could chastise him for being completely in the dark about what's going on his own damn community, but... you're no more enlightened than he is.

A) Let somebody else take the floor.
B) Gun it and take control of the discussion with zero context: What WOULD you do about the bundt cake problem?

>>676606
>bundt cakes
B.
Should give Serena an idea of what to go off of.

>>676606
>bundt cake problem
If it's anything like the Christmas Cake problem, we'll need a buddha, a pegasus, and a castle.

File: FNM-110109-Sugar-Fix-014_s4x3.jpg.rend.sniipadlarge.jpg (410KB, 2048x1536px) Image search: [Google]

410KB, 2048x1536px

>>676606
"EXCUSE ME MY CANDIDATE WOULD FUCKING LOVE IF HE COULD ANSWER THIS ONE PLEASE!"

"Wh-What?! New mascot, what the hell are you doing?! I don't know what they're talking about! You think I keep up with current events?! Well, sometimes I do, but only when they concern ME! Do I look like a bundt cake to you!?!"

"Don't worry man, I seized the floor for you! Just make up shit, who cares, it's politics! Go knock 'em dead, sir!"

Within seconds, all eyes turn to Mayor Phantrump, and unlike Serena—these waiting gazes are actually very, very critical. Anything that comes out of your client's mouth can and most certainly will be used against him in the future. Keep in mind—nobody actually likes him.

"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."

It comes as no surprise that his diminutive mind deflects to the very first thing he can think of.

"Guns, GUNS—LOTS OF GUNS! WE NEED TO ERADICATE GUN CONTROL! There's too many bundt cakes plaguing our city, this is an epidemic we can NOT stand! I swear, i-if elected—NO MORE CARRY LAWS! We'll SELL guns at Walmart if we have to, just walk in and buy one! Shoot up every bakery if you have to! We have to make this clear: WE. HATE. BUNDT CAKES!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QT8zbfBhUWI
Silence.

Dread silence.

Phantrump's enthusiasm dies with little fanfare.

Someone coughs.

Furdoch takes control of the floor again, and as calm as calm can be, blows your client out of the water. "I see... Mr. Phantrump, you propose the eradication of gun control in order to rectify the recent bundt cake shortage that has been severely inhibiting the Bundt-Cakes-for-Tots charity drive?"

Phantrump purses his lips. That's when he notices all the bright-eyed orphans sitting in the front row, all sharing a single bundt cake donated to them by a kind soul, one that they have to make last for the whole week.

A) DAMAGE CONTROLDAMAGE CONTROLDAMAGE CONTROLDAMAGE CONTROLDAMAGE CONTROLDAMAGE CONTROL
B) Tierno time

>>676734
A
bundt cakes sound like cundt bakes

>>676734
B for turning a dumpster fire into a trainwreck

>>676734
A.

File: IMG_3799.jpg (155KB, 1058x705px) Image search: [Google]

155KB, 1058x705px

>>676734
B

>>676734
>We'll SELL guns at Walmart if we have to, just walk in and buy one!
This is already a thing. The selection is pretty shitty, just Mossbergs and a few different kinds of AR-15's, and no pistols, I'm pretty sure.

File: c5yBsKE1r3ifxz.gif (2MB, 500x461px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 500x461px

>>676734
The tie was randomized.
Trying to convince a stubborn crowd of passive-aggressive NPCs to forget every ill-conceived notion they have and consider voting for Phantrump is like going to Subway and asking for a better analogy to which the sandwich artist responds by taking a big fat shit on your flatbread and expecting you to pay up. In other words, it's a hard sell.

But sell or no sell, there's no turning back. You chose this wayward path, you have to get this stumpy stump elected no matter what, if not for his sake, then for yours and your disastrous public image.

Motivated, you raise a hand and open your mouth to quell the conundrum but—

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdwWRQBYyGs
"I THINK WHAT MY OPPONENT IS TRYING TO SAY IS THAT HE'S CUT FROM THE SAME MENTALLY DEFICIENT CLOTH AS SERENA'S BROTHER WHOM I NEVER KNEW EXISTED TILL NOW—TOTALLY RADICAL!"

Oh no.

File: Benigno.png (134KB, 342x192px) Image search: [Google]

134KB, 342x192px

if you noticed my ID keeps changing, that's just my spotty as fuck dynamic connection, this is why we have the trip
>>677312
"CHECK IT, FRIEND! If you need bundt cakes, then just MAKE BUNDT CAKES! It's so piece of literal cake, even I could do it! In fact, I WILL do it! If elected, I will totally dedicate my time to helping the needy by giving them the cakes that they need and the cakes that they deserve! Unlike Phantrump, who's dead both on the outside, and inside!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7AY4y1MWUI
Oof, the one day you forgot to pack Burn Heals..

"Interesting response, Mr. Tiernoson!" says the Bidoof. "I think I speak for all of us when I say I appreciate a mayor who takes his time to care for the less-fortunate! Phantrump's poorly-researched promises of violence and orphan starvation seem blasphemous in comparison. Now—next topic—this one a more sensible one: if you are not aware, our town is enveloped in a struggling recovery phase brought on by many a calamity over the past few weeks. If elected, what would you do to speed up the process and bring pride back to our region's capital?"

A) Ooh! Ooooh! You know this one, you know this one!
B) Pass, let someone else bite that bait.
C) Fuck that question, call Tierno the fuck out. Who does he think he is?

>>677386
B

>>677386
C

>>677386
B

File: d6mgyl4.png (136KB, 609x589px) Image search: [Google]

136KB, 609x589px

>>677386
Ah yes, the infamous ongoing 'our city is bad and you should feel bad' dilemma. City funding is at an all-time low if you couldn't tell, the lowest it's ever been, and as a result restoration has largely stagnated at say, sixty-fiveish percent or so (note that these figures are pulled directly out of your ass). Given that Lumiose as a whole is one of the region's hottest tourist destinations—next to thrilling locales like uh.. the town with big ass rocks and the ball factory..—looking like barely above-average crap is absolutely unacceptable.

If a newly-elected mayor had to have numero uno priority, this would definitely be it.

See, the problem with this though, is that there already is a plan set in motion. This whole discussion can easily be settled right now if Phantrump were to announce that all funds be paid in full by his lowly secretary (read: you), but the less people know about your crippling debts, the better. Ergo, you bluntly shut down your client and prevent him from taking the floor, instead allowing it to be seized by—

"Mayor Phantrump has proven thus far in his short and pitiful carryover term that he is far too inept, incompetent, and wholly self-absorbed to be allowed to hold any position of power. Weeks have passed, and still our capital remains in pieces. He cares not for the people, but for himself. It is clear that his belligerent tyranny is a pox on our region, and a road to ruin should he remain in office. Let me stress this now: a vote for Phantrump . . . is literally a vote for Hitler."

A) Call her out with defensive logic and reason.
B) Call her out with bullying and superficial observations like her godawful design.
C) Responsibly accept her criticism with a smile.
D) Accuse her of being a master of deflection and then proceed to deflect.

>>678687
A.

>>678687
A

>>678687
D. And mention that you could deflect EVEN BETTER than her with Odie in all his evolved glory.

>>678687
D

File: 1406227000449.png (232KB, 700x862px) Image search: [Google]

232KB, 700x862px

>>678687
The tie was randomized.
Suddenly, the spotlight is on Phantrump once more. Excuse the tired genwunner quip, but only Quillary motherfucking Clinton would have the quills to take off the figurative gloves and call Phantrump out in front of his own peers. Now you're really starting to regret having forgotten the Burn Heals. You're also starting to wonder if their rivalry really started with this election.

At any rate, it is, within this prolonged period of cognizance, that a majority of the people in the audience start to realize that hey—that baggy Quilladin hag might actually be onto something! After all, a lot of them do hold great contempt for your client. Hushed whispers and not-so-sweet nothings ensue as the redpilled NPCs of Lumiose begin to discuss Phantrump's current tenure. And how much it blows.

"Hey! She's right, Phantrump a shit!"

"He only got in office because his trainer croaked!"

"He only cares about himself! My apartment isn't even close to being repaired! I have to stay at a Super 8 every night now!"

"I bet he spent the budget on that suit!"

"I can't believe the champion is advocating such a lunatic!"

"what the fuck i hate the champion now""

"I've always hated him! Why can't he go live up in a mountain and never come down?!"

"I can't believe they actually think we'll vote for them!"

"Well... it's not like the other candidates are that much better..."

"But at least they're not LITERALLY Hitler!"

"HEY!!" you abruptly shout at the top of your lungs, snapping the crowd out of their funk. The limelight switches to you in a jiffy, even Quillary halts her agenda to hear what you have to say.

"Listen, uh, Miss Clinton was it?" you begin, tensions on the rise. "We don't know each other well enough yet, but I've been around the block a few times, and I think I can promise you with one-hundred percent certainty that you're going to hate my everliving guts by the end of today."

"Hm? Why wait until the day's end? You're an associate of Phantrump's—I despise you already."

"'Scuse me if this sounds rude, but I can't help but think that your mastery of deflection stems from your inability to accept the demons inside of you. You're a disturbed little hedgehag who masks her inner evils behind a campaign full of broken promises and smearing of my candidate's good name. How's that sound? Am I in the ballpark?"

"Hardly so, I'm afraid. It's amusing that you dare to reprimand me for deflecting when you're doing the exact same thing right this moment. Did you think that was clever?"

A) "You're deflecting by claiming that I'm deflecting, deflector!"
B) "Clever enough for this crowd. Mayhaps I underestimated you."
C) "I'll do anything to defend my client's name from your slander!"

>>680645
A.

>>680645
A
how deep this rabbit hole will go?

>>680645
A for a never ending loop of logic

If we do an SM story, I hope we get to play as Chicken-chan, desu

File: 52426701_p0.jpg (1MB, 2480x2480px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 2480x2480px

>>680645
"You're deflecting by claiming that I'm deflecting, deflector! I'm not letting you get the best of me!"

"If that's your 'best', then I dread to see your worst!"

"Oh yeah?!"

"Indubitably!"

"You think you got the grapes to handle that basket lady?!

"I have an orchard!!"

What started as a strategical maneuver has very quickly devolved into a belligerent 'NO U' back-and-forth, a spectacle that does wonders to rile the crowd up. Furdoch taps his mic in a futile attempt to quell the dispute. "U-Uh.. T-The topic was about city reforma—"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
"SHUT UP!"
"SHUT UP!"

"Quite low of you to be fighting your candidate's battles for him! How much does he pay you to stand here and tell him what to say?!"

A) "Those figures are classified!"
B) "Why are you being so hostile, lady?! I'm supposed to be the loud one!"
C) "My candidate can say plenty! He just has a strep throat at the moment!"
D) "Not very much! In fact I'm literally waist-deep in the negatives right now!"

>>681107
A.
Like the emails.

How much longer do we have to go N8? Will this wrap before Sun and Moon? ;_;

File: Clinton DELET DIS.jpg (9KB, 257x196px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 257x196px

>>681107
A

>>681151
>pic

>>681107
D

>>681107
D

File: d6rr5lf.jpg (56KB, 1024x826px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 1024x826px

>>681226
Nop- yes. I won't say much more than that though, but yes, home stretch.

>>681107
"Those figures are classified—much like your emails!"

"Emails, emails, EMAILS! It's always about the emails with your side! Is that all the ammo you can scrounge up from the bottom of the barrel? Who cares! I've long since accepted responsibility for that mistake! And even then, those emails had nothing on them to begin with, so quit bringing them up!"

In your defense, Phantrump had informed you about the emails at the last minute as a desperate guaranteed replies trump card in order to save face. In hindsight, maybe you pulled it out earlier than you should have.

Serena, having been an unwilling spectator to your ridiculous dispute, rubs her temples and sighs. "What in the world is going on with my life.."

Tierno is more or less the same as he always is. Barely a contributing factor. "GROOVY!"

"Oh man.. That was literally all I had left.. Debating's harder than it look.. no wonder I didn't join the debate team back in Trainer's School.. Uhhh.. well—I'm pretty sure you've done other seedy shit! And I'm gonna find out, and when I do—"

"New mascot! Enough's enough.. much as I hate to agree with her.. she's right. I have to fight my own battles. Ergo, please shut up, you're an embarrassment to us all."

HIRO YOUR BOARD IS BROKEN AGAIN

>>682109
>HIRO YOUR BOARD IS BROKEN AGAIN
Mootwoo has failed us.
Time for Moothree

>>682118
What happened to the board?

[b]test, don't shatter the readers' immersion hiro[/b]

>>682118
Apparently this >>682148

>>682118
Wasn't Hiro the owner of 2ch, which predated 4chan? Wouldn't that make him MootOne or ProtoMoot?

>>682173
I don't think so.
Iirc he had some other social site.

>>682185
those letters should be bold, but they aren't

>>682200
That's lame, why did qst lose those formatting options?

File: fa9.png (451KB, 1596x1878px) Image search: [Google]

451KB, 1596x1878px

[b]Oh[/b] [i]well[/i], [red]whatever[/red]. [blue]Suspend your disbelief[/blue] [green]and[/green] move on. Fixed by next thread hopefully.

>>682109
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moL4MkJ-aLk
Having asserted his position and sentenced you to unending quietude, Phantrump assumes his place on the podium, to which he proceeds to speak not from the stump, but from the heart. "Listen up everyone! Even the immigrants! It's time I stop cowering behind my new mascot and shape up, no more standing around and letting others talk for me! I need to come clean and face you as you all face me!"

"Look, I ADMIT IT, alright?! I AM a little conceited, who isn't? I may be self-absorbed, but dammit, it comes from a good place! It comes from the inside! You know what I'll also admit? I'm NOT a politician, I don't speak like one, I've never attempted to be one, I flunked seventh grade history just because I didn't know my PEGS! But you know what? Maybe that's a good thing! The only stipulation in this race is that you know how to write your name in cursive, not that you know politics, not that you know how to run a town, not that you know how to grab 'em by the pussy. Sure, I may not be perfect, but everything I say comes with a side of honest salad and truthful fries, and that's already far more than I can say for any of the other nominees on this stage with me this evening."

"I promise, if elected, that yes—I WILL make this city greatacular again! I WILL restore it to its former glory! I WILL have my campaign manager pay for everything! I WILL CONTINUE TO FOREVER BE A SHAMELESS LOW-HANGING FRUIT CARICATURE OF WHAT COULD VERY WELL BE YOUR REAL-LIFE FUTURE ONE MONTH FROM NOW! THE NEXT FOUR YEARS OF YOUR LIFE START NOW!"

A) Begin clapping very slowly and see if it catches on.
B) Whisper to him to maybe keep that "calem pays for everything" policy low-key for now.
C) Begin mass-debating very slowly and see if it catches on.

>>682520
A

>>682520
A.

>>682520
A

>>682520
C

File: 1406227000574.jpg (75KB, 768x768px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 768x768px

>>682520
One good speech deserves one good clap, and you totally genuinely mean that and not just so you can hope to start a chain reaction that'll cause everyone else to burst into treats and spontaneously turn heel and start loving the fuck out of your client.

And so, you clap.

And clap.

And clap one more time.

And as if by miracle, the rest of the sheeple follow suit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7AY4y1MWUI
"W-Woah!? What?! Huh.. I can't believe that actually worked!"

Your lesson in politics for today unfurls within a matter of moments: undecided voters are /decidedly/ the most easily-manipulated people on the planet. Razzle 'em with one good speech, and they're hooked for life. No amount of Quillary damage controlling can tame the uproarious crowd, her stutters fall upon deaf ears, and she is promptly drowned out by their hysterics.

"N-No! L-Listen to me, LISTEN TO ME! HE'S H-I-T-L-E-R, THAT IS NOT A HYPERBOLE, HE'LL DESTROY US ALL!!"

"I LOVE getting destroyed!" Tierno butts in with a cheer.

"YOU'RE NOT HELPING, FATSO!"

In midst of the dazzled crowd's antics, Serena slips away from her position and meets up with you and the mayor. "I suppose mirrors aren't on the list of things her campaign advocates.."

"Oh wow," you cock a shocked eyebrow. "You /actually/ went there."

Her fist goes somewhere too, into your shoulder that is.

"Ow! H-Hey, what was that for?!"

"For tricking me into signing up for this nonsense, of course. Utterly absurd, all of this. Remind me to examine every contract you have me obliviously sign from now on."

A) "My bad.. I'm special needs and didn't know what I was thinking, y-you want to drop out?"
B) "I know, I know, I should have asked you bae... but here's the kicker—I knew you were going to say no."
C) "But at least we had fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun didn't weeeeeeeeee?"
D) "I just wanted to use your smarts to poke holes in the competition and give the mayor an edge since I figured he wouldn't be able to do it alone, but uh... shit, he /DID/."

File: 3456760742215754332333.jpg (288KB, 582x844px) Image search: [Google]

288KB, 582x844px

>>684021
D.

>>680937
I'm cool with that.

>>684021
B

>>684021
C

>>684021
D

>>684064
But then how will we autistically fight over which waifu to choose?

>>685163
We can autistically fight over which husbando to choose.
She's got the stupid hat and people rag on her like Calem and Nate.

File: 1406404130744.jpg (273KB, 2094x1492px) Image search: [Google]

273KB, 2094x1492px

>>684021
"Sorry.." you mumble whilst rubbing your arm. "I was hoping you'd use your patented seré-smarts to poke holes in the competition, y'know give the mayor an edge, since I figured there was no way he'd do it on his own.... and uh... wow.. blatant misfire there, cause he /DID/."

"Mm~, yes, it's amazing how you can get away with a tenure's worth of indolence and selfishness with a few brash words of empowerment. I suppose anything is possible when you suspend your beliefs and remind yourself just what kind of people are responsible for deciding the vote."

She gestures to the crowd of applauding Kalosians who no more than five minutes ago were utterly foaming at the mouth at the thought of your client retaining office. Truly, truly sheeple to the very end (and though they may not be Unovans, they're sure great at clapping).

"Don't assume this means you're off-the-hook, though," Serena continues. "When the time comes, rest assured I'll think of something."

"Hopefully not anything too painful.." you groan.

"~Fufu~, we will just have to see then, won't we? Until then, I'll lend my aid in making Phantrump's campaign appear... /less toxic/ than it already is. As much as I deplore him, he -is- still our client, and.. I sympathize with your endeavor to better your own public image."

Your face is getting a little heated. Is that bad when that happens in front of hundreds of people?

"As soon as his opposition is done away with—I'll drop out as well. I'd much rather report on headlines than be a politician who crafts them. Which.. brings me to my next point."

"I've.. been reflecting on this for quite some time now, about where I'll stand years from now, what to do with myself, my purpose beyond merely following and doing as you do with a softer grace.. "

"Once this is all over, and Emma becomes capable of managing the bureau on her own, I.. I'd like to return to that life. Only this time, with sincerity."

File: 1417219444901.jpg (96KB, 1046x1291px) Image search: [Google]

96KB, 1046x1291px

>>685231
"Haha, yeah! That sounds great! I mean.."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9i4T6nRPC1Q
"Wait..."

>"Once this is all over.."

>"....all over....."

>"Emma.. managing...... on her own....."

>"...return to that lifestyle....."

>"...reporting....."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__O0RRiWcpk
Time stops.

File: IMG_3437.jpg (32KB, 378x368px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 378x368px

>>685251
>mfw I forgot that nate is the master of breaking our hearts and crushing our spirits

>>685465
I told you to take Diancie's job offer!

>>685251
IT BEGINS

>>685251
B-but muh cabin in the woods ;_;

File: 1400938518298.jpg (43KB, 686x448px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 686x448px

>>685251
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUA4xmhnvMY
Perhaps the biggest detriment, the -biggest nail- in the coffin of any champion's existence—is their complete and utter lack of mobility. Everything they do within the realms of their newfound glory, the glory they've worked so hard to attained, is forever tethered to their mantle within the league. From the moment you step foot into the Radiant Chamber, you will be deadlocked. You'll be waiting and waiting in that lonesome room, slaving the days away eternities at a time until a foe worthy of facing you approaches. One after the other, they'll all be defeated as you defend your title and responsibilities as if the world depended on it. An endless cycle, some might say—you'll be fighting until you essentially.. can fight no more.

It's not exactly the kind of lifestyle that demands widespread travel, she knows this, but even so..

>'She's chosen to go forward, carve her own path...'

Suddenly the concept of time and how much of it is left becomes more important to you now than it ever has before, just.. how much longer can you continue doing this? How long until you reach a point where you have to.. admit that it's time to move on?

You've already achieved your dream. You've contributed more to your lifetime in the years spanning your journey than you've ever in the ones preceding it. If you could just go back in time and tell yourself that.. that you wouldn't be lost, that you'd make a name for yourself..

>'I guess.. she's a lot like I was then.. unsure of where to go to next.. '

>'But, no... she's made her choice.. she knows what kind of person she wants to be. I.. I should be happy, and yet..'

>'It hurts just thinking about it..'

File: 147795063096.jpg (29KB, 800x722px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 800x722px

>>685665
"Serena—"

You reach out to touch her arm, but your movements are impaired by a sudden upheaval.

>>685686
Serena stayed with and helped Calem acheive his goals, maybe Calem could do the same for her? Then we could have our happy ending r-right?

>tfw anticipated this moment since last fucking year

Et tu, Nate?

File: trhg4.png (2MB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1920x1080px

>>685686
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ay_zJ77Z1Uc
"//ATTENTION LIKE-MINDED SHEEPLE WHOSE LOVE AND RESPECT I'VE JUST EARNED!!!// I can think of literally no greater time to segue than now! I'd like to celebrate this landslide debate victory with a toast! A toast to whom? Why, /a toast to me of course!/"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smrLYaOvXkg
Phantrump strikes a series of poses to the applause of his peers, his motions set in the direction of his big damn project.

"I bet you've all been wondering what this giant tarped structure behind me is! It is—with great emphasis—the pinnacle of my campaign's BLOOD, SWEAT, and TEARS! Dozens of brave men and women with hours to squander toiled for countless nights constructing this monument to compromise in the dingiest parts of our town! Its existence is proof of what can be accomplished by forces under my direction! Now that it has been assembled, let its unveiling today be forever embedded in our region's history as a hallmark, a TURNING POINT that represents the day in which I finally won over your black, black hearts!"

"Illegals, remove the covers!—Everyone else, I present to you... THE BULB-ASAAAAAAUUUURRRRR!!!"

File: d82vzst.png (627KB, 800x738px) Image search: [Google]

627KB, 800x738px

>>686640
At Phantrump's call, the covers come off—and reveal to all a tremendous sculpture crafted in his pristine likeness! A breathtaking, awe-inspiring, truly monumental idol built from the ground-up! The crowd goes wild, and your mind slips away from personal troubles.

What's more, the statue, upon closer inspection, is no ordinary statue at all, and Phantrump does not hesitate to drive this point home as he showboats it. "Marvel! MARVEL AND BE AMAZED!" he exclaims with glee, much to Quillary's seething. "THE BULB-ASAUR!!* *do note the name is just for the sake of the pun, I hate Bulbasaurs!"

"Ahem. Using state-of-the-art technology, our region's top scientists with nothing better to do have devised a structure created entirely from a mass of specialized energy-efficient color-coded LIGHTBULBS! And it's not just your run-of-the-mill poser art display either, for it actually works! By siphoning a smaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall morsel of energy from our region's power plants—the same plants that light your homes and businesses—this monument can shine... WITH EFFICIENCY!"

"It's a testament, not just to me, but to a better tomorrow! Vote me, AND LIVE FREEEEEEEE!"

>"And if all doesn't go according to keikaku..?"

>"In which case we all die a fiery death whilst wallowing in our own filth.."

>"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—?!"

>"But it will have been a pretty S W E E T campaign! . . . . . . up until that point!"

And with that he retrieves a remote from hammerspace and promptly flips the switch.

File: kz8B4FL1snmkcm.gif (986KB, 500x205px) Image search: [Google]

986KB, 500x205px

>>686650
If there was ever a world record for shortest-lived lead in the polls, it's just been topped. Big time.

Sparks fly both figuratively and literally as the mayor fiddles with the lights. First, from the roaring audience who do not realize just how close they're standing to this retrospectively unsafe statue, and then, from the statue itself—which is not roaring but in fact /crackling/ with an unforeseen amount of surging electricity.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hHQ2U-4soY
For a 'grace period' of five-and-a-half seconds in which everyone indulges in heavy sighs of relief, the statue actually lights up with little resistance beyond a small, insignificant flickering red bulb intended to represent the mayor's ghastly eye.

And then that fault swells to cover the whole damn thing.

The statue starts flickering intensely, each bulb rapidly blinking in and out, overclocking to unanticipated levels. Just as you think things can't get any worse, the fucking /buildings/ surrounding you begin having seizures too, even Prism Tower isn't safe from this overriding surge of energy.

It's at this point that you realize your client has abruptly turned invisible. Your face goes pale and for the public's sake, you rush to his abandoned mic to inform their retarded asses of the gravity of the situation, which you are able to do in exactly four simple words.

"HIT THE DECK, FAGGOTS!!"

File: iojda.jpg (54KB, 640x359px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 640x359px

>>687123
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfMwcMFE7gc
No sooner do you warn them do the thousands of bulbs comprising the mayor's image simultaneously shatter in an incandescent explosive shower of glassy, multi-colored shrapnel that subsequently submerges Lumiose into total darkness—a citywide blackout.

You've never heard more people cry of glass in their eyes. Better them than you, right?

"T-THANKSEVERYONEYOU'VEBEENAWONDERFULAUDIENCEGOTTAGOBYEFOLLOWUSONTWITTER"

You can't turn invisible, so you just grab the wife and ske-fucking-daddle in the ocean of ensuing chaos.

File: y8yhuin.jpg (54KB, 682x384px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 682x384px

>>687156
——————————————————————————————————————————
Contrary to your curt shilling of the campaign's twitter, you stay the hell away from all social media (including your own meme-infested accounts) for the next twelve hours, which are instead spent hiding under your bed with a shotgun in tow as Dedenne stands by the door spamming Flash.

B-Best to leave /tomorrow's problems/ to /tomorrow's you/.

File: d6y0rgn.png (228KB, 1024x790px) Image search: [Google]

228KB, 1024x790px

>>687181
——————————————————————————————————————————
You rendezvous with the mayor in his top secret bunker situated underneath city hall, whereupon he removes his 'please-oh-god-don't-recognize-me' trench coat, shades and fedora, and folds his stubby little wispy hands together.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
"Okay, so in hindsight that may not have been the best thing to blow seventy percent of our campaign budget on. I was wrong. It didn't kill us . . . . . . . /but I sure wish it did/."

A) "You lost over eighty percent of your support, sir."
B) "We somehow made the city even worse than it was already, sir."
C) "I know you're gonna find a way to blame this on me, so can I just walk myself out?"
D) "You're already dead, sir."

>>687197
C.

>>687197
A

>>687197
D

>>687197
D.

>>687197
D

File: 20160428183806[2].png (4MB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

4MB, 1920x1080px

>>687197
"Uh.. You're already dead, sir." you tell him, because clarifying the obvious is about the best you can do for him right now.

"That's not the point!" he yells. "Everyone hates us. . . . . . /AGAIN!/ Even more than they did before! You think I'm dead? //Our campaign is deader!// I can't even walk the streets any more without people *not* paying attention to me, do you know how traumatizing that is to a mon who loves attention!? No, no, new mascot, we cannot let this stand. My candidacy is in jeopardy, no one's going to vote for a mon who cuts their power and slits their eyes open with glass! WE screwed up, now WE have to rectify it, FOR THE GOOD OF OUR PEOPLE . . . which is exactly why I called you in today: I want YOU to go down to the Badlands and fix this."

A) "That sounds like an incredibly one-sided operation.."
B) "Back to Gible country? Noooo waaaaay, been there, done that!"
C) "Do I get a pay increase?"
D) "The Badlands? B-But *BAD* things happen there!"

>>687701
D

>>687701
C

>>687701
C

>>687701
C.

File: 1406227000572.jpg (46KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 600x600px

>>687701
"You want me to travel into the blistering wasteland where those kids got lost that one time and never returned and see if I can switch the city's power back on? Okey-dokey, no objections to that! I had nothing else to do today anyway! . . . but uh, do I get a pay increase?" you ask, though you can't help but feel like you already know the answer.

"Duuuhhh, I dunno, do you get a pay increase for unanticipated Acts of Arceus?" Phantrump echoes back with snark attached, only to immediately double back. "Actually, wait.. Hold on, /DO YOU/? I'm not sure, I don't keep track of this stuff.. Allow me to reevaluate your verbal contract later today, and maybe we can work something out. In the meantime, I beseech you to visit the usually-locked-and-useless power plants in the Badlands and see if you can flip the facility's Macguffin Override Switch™!"

"....Macguffin Override Switch™?"

"Correct! You see new mascot, my cousin's friend's uncle's wife's prematurely-balding millennial son—who's a /real wiz/ with desert-localized power plants—says that all power outages, even ones of this magnitude, can always be reset with the use of the Macguffin Override Switch™. It's like a circuit breaker for dummies! Perfect for dummies like uh, like you!"

When he sees the doubt on your face, Phantrump relents and heaves a sigh.

File: d6ue3gw.png (621KB, 600x852px) Image search: [Google]

621KB, 600x852px

>>688515
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSQILcVSdm8
"/Haaah/... Listen, new mascot.. I know I'm acting pretty upbeat about all of this, but it's not like I have a choice here—the fact of the matter is: you have no idea how much I'm banking on you right now. This campaign, this race, this mayorship—I NEED this.. It's.. It's all I have.."

"Everything I said at the debate was true, I'm not a politician, I'm not a lot of things. In truth, I'm just.. a ghost, a lonely child's ghost who haunted a stump and thought it'd be cool to put on a suit and maniacally order people around for a change, then my trainer lost his sense of humor, then they couldn't find his laughbox, then whoooosh—I was sworn into office and expected to take charge.. Now that I'm in the big leagues, I don't want to be dethroned, I don't want to let him down, because then where else would I turn to?! This.. /this is my life!/"

"We.. we were so close too, we had them by the pussy... and then I went and blew it.. Now I'm back to being the scum of the earth who's weeks from being booted out of office... a statue made out of bulbs that siphons energy from our own power supply, what was I thinking?!... I was just /so focused on showing up Quillary/ that I lost sight of what I was doing.. now it's cost me the race..."

A) "It's alright mayor, like you said, your conceited insecurities come from a good place!"
B) "No it hasn't, sir! I'll have you know sir that I've not once failed a request from a Pokemon of the Week!—....'cept for the Bergmites."
C) "What do you call it when you want to be mad, but empathetic at the same time?"
D) "It's okay mayor, we /all/ hate her."

>>688668
D.

>>688668
A.

File: 4469701616.jpg (65KB, 700x820px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 700x820px

>>688668
The tie was randomized.
"It's alright mayor, it's like you said, your conceited insecurities come from a good place! You aren't an egotistical jerk because you choose to be one, it's just who you are on the inside! It's literally who you ARE that makes you /you/!"

Really freaky how you can take 'jerk' and replace it with 'flaming homo' and the analogy would still work.

"You know what else you said?" you press on as the mayor slumps out of his rotten stump, unveiling his true form. "You promised to your citizens that you would make this city greatacular again, you promised you would restore it and bring back its glory and everything else it's come to lost over the past few weeks! What better way to prove that.. then by starting here?"

He slowly nods his head up to face you.

"I'm indebted to your services for the rest of the day, sir. You can bet your bananas that I'll go and flip that Macguffin Override Switch™, and for your sake, I'll even say you were the one responsible. Then they'll *have* to have faith in you again."

"R-Really..?" he whispers.

"Really."

"You would do such a thing..?"

"Well, like I said, nothing else to do, and I hate seeing you down in the dumps.."

"Then.." the mayor sniffles. "Then go! Go my new mascot! You haven't a moment a to lose! Bring our power back before I miss Gotham! Godspeeeeeeeeeeeeeed... //every second squandered is a vote for Quillary!//"

"I'm going! I'm going! *I'M GOING TO GO LIKE I'VE NEVER GONE BEFORE!*"

And so, you—the idiot boy—bust out of the bunker and bolt in the direction of the Badlands to embark on one final episodic escapade. . .

File: 1356122258443.jpg (192KB, 800x725px) Image search: [Google]

192KB, 800x725px

>>688865
——————————————————————————————————————————
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33DWqRyAAUw

>[ "ARENA TRAP AGONY" — ROUTE 13 - LUMIOSE BADLANDS]

File: 443757563.jpg (179KB, 1000x513px) Image search: [Google]

179KB, 1000x513px

>>688929
"..the Macguffin Override Switch™..?"

Serena is predictably lost and confused by the short and sweet infodump you give her on the way to the route gate. You don't blame her honestly, it was more of a 'you-had-to-be-there' kind of intervention.

"Yeah," you say. You want to speak more, flap your gums like you always do, but your breath hitches and prevents you from thinking straight. You invited her along because, well... isn't that what you always do? Now that she's here, you.. almost don't want her to be.

"And you told him you would do it?"

You gulp.

"He was insistent."

That should sound blasphemous, but..

You haven't had any one-on-one time with her since last night, when she told you.. well, you know. You weren't able to tell her how that made you feel, now you're expected to brave through one-hundred and twelve degrees of sweltering heat with her and somehow /not/ burst into treats about it?

"Calem?"

You're picking up the pace, and she takes notice.

"You're walking rather fast.."

She quickly catches up, closing the distance one step at a time.

"Just powerwalking."

".. Is something the matter?"

A) BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWW P-PLEASE DON'T LEAVE CABIN IN THE WOODS, CABIN IN THE WOOOOOODS!
B) No, you can tell her later, not now. As much as it stings, you need to focus on the mission.

>>689217
B, stay strong clarence

>>689217
B.

File: Untitled.png (16KB, 669x148px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 669x148px

>>689217
>'Man, Serena sure looks pretty today..'
That's a nice thought to have, cowboy. Driven by it, you stop in place, to which she bumps into your back. "Oh! Sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going and.... Calem?"

You're frozen in place, but her saying your name snaps you out of it. Taking another hard gulp, you turn around to face her.

"That's my name, don't wear it out!"

>'You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. '

"Fufu, I suppose it is. But, really, you're fine?"

"Yeah, I am, just mulling over some thingies, you know the deal. A-Anyway, let's get a move on! ADVENTURE AWAITS-ISH!"

You can only hope that you can keep this up.

>>689253
>3 years
>3
>fucking
>years
Christ on a fuckstick, Nate.

File: IMG_2858.png (359KB, 630x734px) Image search: [Google]

359KB, 630x734px

>>689317
>yfw nate is still going strong after 3 years
>yfw nate is the modern day homer and this is his odyssey

File: 1474940851922.gif (2MB, 499x374px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 499x374px

>>689253
>we've been doing this for 3 YEARS
Happy birthday!

File: 1442698397968.jpg (28KB, 456x320px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 456x320px

>>689253
Oh, how this time flies fast...
>Tfw no Z game
>tfw not another year of Calem's Cyoa

File: bele.png (55KB, 255x240px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 255x240px

>3 years

fuck, has it been that long? I've been following since chapter 3, can't believe we're at 85 now.

can't wait for the sun/moon cyoa though, it's gonna be awesome

File: d5qins7.png (294KB, 900x600px) Image search: [Google]

294KB, 900x600px

Yes. It really has been three years. Thanks for the continued support everyone!

>>689253
——————————————————————————————————————————
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hh1P3NS09IQ

Clear skies.

Bright, yellow sun.

Scorching heat.

Raging dust storms.

Wild Gibles and Trapinches abound.

A thousand miles into the Badlands with nothing but a trail of asscrack perspiration to find your way back.

Yep. It's about as agonizing as you remember.

The last time you wandered on these dusty trails was years ago on two separate occasions. One was to help your father fertilize a strange apple stalk that gained sentience only to be devoured...by you. The other was to restore power to Lumiose after Team Flare's energy-snatching shenanigans conked it out.

. . .

Lumiose has pretty shitty power, you conclude.

File: walkthrough_r13_route13.png (383KB, 530x318px) Image search: [Google]

383KB, 530x318px

>>690505
Fortunately, you don't live in the Call of Duty universe, so this little misadventure won't be a complete retread of something you already did sixty-one chapters ago. According to the mayor's cousin's friend's uncle's wife's prematurely-balding millennial son who works at Hello Games, the conventional 'main' facility of the Kalos Power Plant—the one open to the public and the one you visited last time, is /not/ your destination today.

Rather, your target lies within a group of lesser-but-still-important facilities that are a bit more out of the way and not accessible to the public. The Macguffin Override Switch™ is located within one of them because the designers thought hiding it in the main one would be too obvious.

Typically, these facilities are strictly locked, literally nobody—NOBODY—is allowed to enter with the exception of verified personnel and cool guys. Seriously. The policies in place are nuts, nobody knows what's in there. The secrets have been so strongly kept that an entire generation was able to go by without anybody acquiring access. Some people are even starting to wonder if there's even anything of interest in them at all.

You hold up your official Cool Guy pass, given to you by the mayor.

"Welp. Looks like I'm gonna find out!"

File: 64905194638.jpg (201KB, 384x571px) Image search: [Google]

201KB, 384x571px

>>690515
"Yup! I'm going to do it! I'm going to totally find out what hot spicy secrets they're keeping from us normies in those plants, and this OFFICIAL Cool Guy pass that certifies ME as a Pretty Cool Guy is what's going to let me do that! And nobody—I mean NOBODY, is going to stop me from asserting that in this premeditated spee—"

"Calem, watch out!" Serena exclaims with caution. "/Your inherently impaired peripheral vision defies you once more!/"

"Whuzza—?"

File: 4063854723.jpg (47KB, 270x174px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 270x174px

>>692049
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1SoHa40zmk
A speedy sanic blur seemingly emerging out of the blue barrels into your gut before you even have time to react. "Aagh!" you drop to the ground with an emphatic THUD. It's a hit and run collision and your frumpy butt is taken down on the word 'go'.

"D-Did I just get raped by the Road Runner?!" you ask while reclaiming your hat, knocked off in the scuffle.

No sooner does the blur appear does it vanish into the parched plateaus from whence it came, which would be fine all on its own if it weren't for the fact that it's relieved you of your Cool Guy credentials.

Of course, being far slower than the blur both physically and mentally means this sudden act of larceny goes unnoticed by you for exactly twelve uninterrupted seconds, only then do you register that the hand that had been holding your pass is now.. not holding it.

"WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?!?!"

File: 1373258289.png (380KB, 650x650px) Image search: [Google]

380KB, 650x650px

>>692150
"You let your guard down and were assaulted by a fictional cartoon character who then robbed of you the Macguffin you need to access the -other- Macguffin. I can only recommend an immediate reevaluation of yourself—you may not be as 'cool' as you thought."

A) "Butts to that! I can't let him get away!"
B) "Y-You can't just go around policing others on who's cool and who's not!"
C) "Clearly I have to rape him back in order to obtain my coolage."
D) https://youtu.be/BTN6W-hUOsE?t=25

>>692246
D. We need Desert police justice

>>692246
D

>>692246
C, that's how it works right?

>>692246
C.

>>692246
C for a little give and take.

File: 4001871651.jpg (149KB, 393x700px) Image search: [Google]

149KB, 393x700px

>>692246
"Admit that I'm a flavorless unpopular turd? No no, that's far too sensible—clearly I have to sodomize him back in order to reobtain my Calvin Coolidge."

"I.. /right/. Whatever feels natural for you, butterfingers."

"Then that settles it! COME ALONG GIRL-WATSON, they may have stolen my cool, but they haven't stolen my PowerUp Rewards or P.F. Chang's cards! I still have some momentum left in me!"

".. I'm beginning to believe all this heat is going to your head."

"You can expect heat going to my head when we catch this thief too, LET'S GO!"

File: d8o78dm.png (453KB, 900x600px) Image search: [Google]

453KB, 900x600px

>>692394
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adWQPXQAG4A
"To the literal Batmobile!"

>>682109
>yes
NO
And I really can't tell if Nate is a /pol/ user or a complete leftie at this point.

>>688865
>one final episodic escapade. . .
>tfw

>>689253
Holy shit.

>tfw we'll never get back our daughteru
>tfw we'll never revive Hex
>tfw we'll never make the other girls happy
>tfw nearly over
I don't want this to end.

>>693200
>>693225
>>693226
>>693229
>spamming
>invoking Her
>invoking Him
>accusing Nate of sloppy writing.

We'll do what we have to do, even if it will the Death will stare in our eyes.

File: d7hkkbp.jpg (470KB, 1200x1000px) Image search: [Google]

470KB, 1200x1000px

>>693229
Who?, dead(?), seasonal waifus, yes nearly over. Life sure is hard, isn't it?

>>692408
——————————————————————————————————————————
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZagNcpY_amQ
Noivern prefers to refer to it as the 'Wyvern Express', but that name was already trademarked.

"Noooooooooooooooooooiiiii!"'

With a bellowing screech, Noivern takes to the skies with you and your wife in tow. A swift swindler calls for a swifter opposition, and Noivern is just the mon for evening those odds. Don't worry about the heat wave, he's not bothered by it.

"Gaaaaauugghh, I'm burning up over here! MY CLOTHES ARE MELTING INTO MY FLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESH!!! "

You are an entirely different story, however.

Serena, who's nowhere near as suffering as you, pokes your clammy shoulder. "Calem... Did you -not- apply sunscreen before venturing out into the hottest place in the region?"

A) "Wha? Course not! Sunscreen is a fabrication invented by the government so they can spy on your skin cells!"
B) "I thought if I got hungry I could use my peely-skin jerky as a snack!"
C) "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I FORGOOOOOOT"
D) "The hottest place in the region? Do we not have a volcano? This place really is unfinished..."

>>693505
D
>CAPTCHA is literally my name
spooky.

>>693505
D

File: d68wlzp.png (725KB, 966x970px) Image search: [Google]

725KB, 966x970px

>>693505
"The hottest place in the region? Do we not have a volcano? This region really is unfinished.."

"You can peddle your concerns for our region's geography later—look down there, I believe it's our culprit!"

"Huh? Oh fuck, it is! We're hot on his tail now! Good job, Noivern!"

"Noooiiiiii!"

Truly the Wyvern Express deserves more than you give it credit for. Though the question remains: Now that you're within reach of your destination, how will you approach it?

A) Catch up and attack the thief directly!
B) Stay high in the sky and spy from above!
C) Drop down, lay low and stalk from afar!
D) Attempt to stop him by obstructing his getaway!

>>693540
A
Hyperbeam?
Like ol' dragon daddy Lance?

>>693540
B.

>>693540
B

File: d69ijn9.png (771KB, 894x894px) Image search: [Google]

771KB, 894x894px

>>693540
You decide you should stay on the stealth side for now, a wise choice since you don't exactly know what you're up against yet. "Noivern, I know it seems tempting, but don't attack just yet! Let's keep a low profile for now, or is it -high- profile? Whatever, just hang over him like a helicopter mom!"

"Vern!"

Engaging full-on stalker mode, the Wyvern Express gradually picks up sanic speed and hovers directly overhead the thief. As much as the bat wants to screech again, he keeps his gaping maw shut so as to not arouse any suspicion. Fortunately the crook doesn't seem to be aware he's being followed, and continues along his merry way.

"Phew, I don't think he knows we're after him. Serena, hand me my Noctowl Bird-noculars!"

"Certainly, though I don't see what makes them so different from -regular binoculars-.."

"Only /everything!/ Regular binoculars don't let me—"

A) E N H A N C E

>>693686
A.

>>693686
A

Also importan question, Nate.

Is DYI OC welcome here?

>>693929
The entire board encourages fan works.

File: 37593223_p1.jpg (100KB, 481x481px) Image search: [Google]

100KB, 481x481px

>>693929
Do Your Itself Original Content? Otherwise, >>693954

>>693686
"E N H A N C E !"

"E N H A A A A A N C E!"

"//ENHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCEEEEEEEE!!//"

Using state-of-the-art hollywood hacking technology, you adjust your Noctowl Bird-noculars, wirelessly hack into the mainframe, simultaneously root the DDOS of over five-hundred mobile IP addresses, and log into the viral web to acquire the legendary art of bird-vision.

. . .

Okay—it's just a toy prize you got for mailing in ten-thousand high-quality box tops of Silva Pebbles. But sheeeeeeesh, you can't let her know that..

Toggling the device, you zoom in on the dirty desert thief until he's no longer a so-speedy-gonzales-fast-you-can't-see-shit-blur but a clearly-defined four-legged—

File: 200.gif (718KB, 386x200px) Image search: [Google]

718KB, 386x200px

>>694138
"D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D—"

"DOG?!"

>>694138
>Do Your Itself OC
teebeehee i have hammered deeply in my mind division between art stuff and dyi stuff

File: r8rus26I1vuunpn.png (186KB, 500x357px) Image search: [Google]

186KB, 500x357px

>>694148
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGf_7I6pxKs
"A dog?" Serena echoes in disbelief. "In -this- terrain? Surely you jest,"

"I'm not jesting, joshing, or japing really! I would never in a million-kabillion-Vermillion years take bird-vision's name in vain!" you melodramatically exclaim. "Here, take a look! It's a hound-in-high-definition!"

Serena hesitantly accepts the Bird-noculars at the risk of forfeiting her sanity like you have and takes a look for herself. "Oh my! . . . These binoculars have better depth perception than I thought."

"And?!"

"Oh! And I see the mutt as well now, yes,~" she hums. "A dog Pokemon.. but why in the world would one be all the way out here? And why would it desire physical authorization of your tubular grooviness?"

"Hell if I know, but we're getting to the bottom of this, pronto! I made a promise to the mayor and I intend to keep it, and no dirty desert dog is going to cockblock that from me!" you boldly declare. You'd have shouted it too, but the dog is black and you don't want to take any chances.

Noivern keeps on the mutt's trail until it reaches a staggering bottomless canyon, whereupon it finally comes to a stop and releases your pass to howl ominously at the sky like all feral canines do.

"Awooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

A) Pokedex it!
B) Embrace your werewolf otherkin and howl too!
C) Change of mind. You do want to fight.. Who cares if he's black?
D) Shove it off the canyon while it's back is turned.

>>695526
A.

>>695526
A

>>695526
A, like any reasonable trainer would.

File: IOAB.jpg (35KB, 650x450px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 650x450px

>>695526
>Noctowl
>Bird-noculars
>

Anyway, A

>>693505
>Life sure is hard, isn't it?
Yup.
>>693472
>>spamming
Sorry, I was just reading through the whole thing.

>>695526
C

File: d99bo0w.jpg (37KB, 1024x512px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 1024x512px

>>695526
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOU1mZnDpbM
You've only been eyeballing this aloof pooch for only a few seconds and already it's giving you eerie vibes. In all the years you've been a trainer (which you know, is pretty long given the high quit-to-not-quit ratio for trainers), you've never seen a Pokemon quite like -this- before.

"Awooooooooooooooooo!" the hound howls once more, its green scarf-like appendage flowing in the dusty wind. You can only surmise that the mutt has much higher priorities to attend to, but simply cannot resist the trope-enamored call of 'sentimental canyon howling'. Noivern consequently uses the moment to safely touch down and land without it noticing, and you hop off just as quietly.

"Well... when in doubt, consult the help. Mind dexing him, Serena? I'm still feeling 'anti-gizmo-ish'."

"I'm already on it," she says, taking a cautious step forward with her pokedex in-hand. "I can't say I recognize this Pokemon either. We've been all over the region too, one would think we'd have chanced upon all there is see.."

"Just more proof that there's always more to life than what search engines tell you. 'Technology is amazing!' they saaaaid. Well, if it's so great, what does it have to say about our friend over there?"

>[# ? ? ? — ? ? ? — ? ? ? ]
>[? ? ? Type | Ability: ? ? ?]
>[Height ? ? ? | Weight ? ? ? ]

>[NO DATA FOUND | THERE ARE STILL MANY POKEMON IN THE WORLD THAT HAVE YET TO BE DISCOVERED.]

"Hm.. It's just as I feared. Although we've combed every corner of the region and I've made sure to record every being we've encountered along the way.... There exists no data for this Pokemon. Don't get too alarmed, Calem.. but I believe we may have stumbled across a new species.."

"New species? Huh.. Funny you say that, 'cause if you ask me, the more I look at it, the more it seems... familiar!"

File: k3f1sr6y44o.gif (691KB, 500x281px) Image search: [Google]

691KB, 500x281px

>>697182
"Gyaarrrr.."

The dog's ears perk at your deduction, and suddenly it turns to snarl at you like you've just pissed in its cereal, stolen its money, and raped its mother.

"Gaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!"

A) "D-Did I say familiar? I meant tall, dark, and handsome!"
B) "I DIDN'T TOUCH HER I SWEAR"
C) "Hey little doggie, did you get yourself lost on the way to the pound?~"
D) "Hoo boy, I guess you're one of those 'low-tolerance hostile hounds' huh?"
E) "Where the hell is the desert police when you need them!?!"

>>697191
C

>>697191
A

>>697191
C.
Are you going to do alternate endings after the end Nate?

File: nwzjhuvv3a1sr6y44.gif (1MB, 500x281px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 500x281px

>>697296
No spoilers.

>>697191
"Hey there little doggie!~" you blissfully chime, taking a few anxious steps back to give the mon some much-needed space. "D'aww, did you get yourself lost on the way to the pound?~"

"Lovely turn of phrase there," Serena mutters while bracing for inevitable discord from behind your shoulder. "Wouldn't a canine be more inclined to stay away from a pound than actively seek one out?"

"...rrrrrnnn....."

Unfortunately, your naive acts of friendship do nothing to downplay your significance as a serious threat but everything to inflate your significance as a shallow chump who's ripe for the picking. The dog growls, twitches slightly, and lunges forward with great ferocity.

"GAAAAAAARRRRRR!"

"W-Waugh! /HOLY COW!/"

The hound takes off in a blinding burst of adrenaline—Extreme Speed. Sensing danger on the horizon, Noivern instinctively leaps onto the defense, ready to do whatever he can to keep you and Serena out of harm's way.

"Noi!"

"GAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOO!"

>The doggo..
A) lands the hit!
B) is parried!
C) is called off!

>>698431
C.

>>698431
B
>Thousand Arrows
Not falling for that.

>>698431
B

File: g94mw.png (99KB, 420x236px) Image search: [Google]

99KB, 420x236px

>>698431
"GAAAAAAAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOUU!!"

Nearing Noivern, the feral dog leaps into the air, howling rabidly and baring its sharp, green fangs. The wyvern raises a wing in anticipation of countering the blow, but before he can do so, another blurred entity blitzes into the picture.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9i4T6nRPC1Q
"Gaaaaarrrr!!"

Another—near-identical hound—rushes onto the scene and parries the attack with an Extreme Speed of its own, followed by a swift Dragon Tail with its 'leash' that sends the feral dog barreling back towards the earth.

This new doppelganger enforcer lands in front of your party, carrying a much more 'noble' aura than its aggressive accomplice. Then, with a voice to match that nobility, it speaks.

[That's enough, Squiggly.]

File: 93fjwie.png (1MB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1280x720px

>>699751
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laKBotu5wpg
"....g-gaaarrr....."

'Squiggly', as it is now known, hits the ground and struggles to get back up. The strike isn't necessarily severe, but coupled with copious prior injuries and a complete exertion of energy, it is the straw that breaks the Numel's back.

".....zrrrnn......zrrrrrrnnnn....."

Trembling, Squiggly picks itself up and staggers lightly in your direction—before outright collapsing in front of its cohort. Now that you've gotten a better look of it, you can tell without a doubt, this hound has seen better days.

You try to speak up, say something, but all you can do is gasp in pity of the fallen. This mon was seconds away from tearing you limb from limb, and now—now it just looks so.. so helpless.

In your absence, Squiggly's accomplice speaks, and it's what it says next that triggers and explains your earlier feelings of deja vu.

[Chief. It's been a while.]

>>700034
>tfw after Lumiose and all of Kalos was saved, our core dissipated in similar way as in pokeani

Nate a prophet.

File: 229106.png (552KB, 880x1015px) Image search: [Google]

552KB, 880x1015px

>>700034
It takes a moment for things to connect, but when they do, your mind is blown and your mouth is running eighty-eight miles per minute.

"Z-Zibber?!?!?"

"Zibber? Who?"

"Nooooiii?!"

Zibber, the Zygarde zygote who had assisted you in vanquishing the festering, abominable remnants of the bio-matter, nods in acknowledgment of its identity—the identity that you bestowed it. "W-Wha?! N-No, no way, no way! I-It can't be!" you exclaim in disbelief. "I.. I saw you sacrifice yourself with my own eyes!"

[Chief, trust me when I say that you aren't imagining things. It really -is- me. As to how that came to be.. The cycle restarted.]

"The cycle.. so you were able to come back..."

"Calem," Serena turns to you, a little lost. "You know these Pokemon after all?"

"I-It's a long story," you answer. "You might say I didn't recognize them at first because well.. nobody told me they could turn into DOGS!"

"So.. these are Formes?" she deduces. "Formes of what Pokemon, then?"

"Serena.. You're looking at the one, the only, the legendary environmentalist——ZYGARDE!!"

"Z-Zygarde? I.. huh!? The Order Pokemon of legend?!"

"That's the one!... you know, I /say/ 'the one, the only', but we *are* looking at two of these guys.. "

File: SME04.png (155KB, 342x192px) Image search: [Google]

155KB, 342x192px

>>700238
Your attempts at lighthearted humor are gravely undermined by Squiggly, who succumbs to its injuries and begins glowing a sharp, lime-green hue. ".......zzrnnn.......!"

A friend of Zibber's is a friend of yours, even if said friend -did- steal your stuff and bite you in the ass for daring to take it back (guess you're just too forgiving). You step forward with a hand reaching out. "Wh-What's happening?! Is it gonna be alright?!"

[Stay back, chief!] Zibber warns, raising its leash to block your way. [I am afraid Squiggly has bitten off more than it could chew.. Its Cells have lost the will to sustain its current Forme.]

".......zzrrrrrrnnn!.......'

Indeed, Squiggly's glistening body begins to fracture—splitting apart at the seams into hexagonal shaped fragments, culminating in a bright, blinding flash that deconstructs its entire physique. Squiggly regresses into its lowest possible form, accompanied by an interwoven network of its own cellular subjects.

[...]

It's a zygote as well, no different than the form Zibber took when you first encountered it way back when—with the exception of a blue hexagon on its midsection rather than a red one.

One by one, a flurry of squishy, flat, worm-like zygotes wordlessly flee from the weakened Squiggly, squirming and making haste to the closest available source of Order—Zibber. Squiggly is effectively abandoned as the ship-jumping Cells join themselves with Zibber.

That is, until you scoop up little Squiggly yourself.

A) "Those zygotes.. why would they..?"
B) "I.. still have a lot to learn about order, formes, and cells, huh?"
C) "Zibber.. is this your /twin/?"
D) "Cellular zygotes that can mesh together to form dogs... Now I've seen it all."

>>701428
D.

>>701428
B

>>701428
C

>>701428
B

>>701428
D

>>701428
B.

File: 5083353932.jpg (704KB, 1280x960px) Image search: [Google]

704KB, 1280x960px

>>701428
Squiggly barely takes up the size of your palm. Small, feeble, squishy to-the-touch. Incapacitated, it lies there without protest, its sole pupil shut. "I.. still have a lot to learn about order, formes, and cells, huh?"

[If that's what's you think, chief.] says Zibber, beginning to trek off. [The complex anatomy of the big guy has to be seen to believe, and I have nothing against explaining it to you. At any rate, seeing as you've recovered Squiggly already, it's probably best that you just come with me—something tells me this reunion wasn't by chance.]

Boy, that's always a good sign, isn't it?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdwNOc3hmIg
>Recovered Cool Guy Pass

Squiggly in tow, you and your party pack up and follow Zibber into the vast unknown, completely unaware of the uninhibited dangers that lie ahead (but then again, not knowing is like, half the fun of it).

Sorry for the wait. We'll continue this in the next thread. You know, for atmosphere.

>>710439
>>710439
>>710439