Scrumptious Calem and Kuudere Serena's Tubular Voyage Part

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>>543001
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAafqR6RMdM
"D-Dew—WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!"

Dewott is utterly annihilated to hell and back with the combined strength of a hundred-and-one Hydro Pumps, the torrential typhoon pelting him from all angles, each sharp, stinging droplet lacerating his skin, finishing him off in an aquatic explosion that rains a heavy monsoon onto the spectators down below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GyUwg2fBg3k
"Aaaahhh!! DID YOU SEE THAT?! Th-The champion, h-he!"

"Is it raining?!"

"That was Hydro Cannon!"

"The strongest Water-type move?!"

"Gaaaaahhh! My suit!! My good suit! My only suit! I should have just gone to work!!"

At the epicenter of the hydraulic hellstorm is Dewott, bitterly battered and belligerently beaten beyond belief. Having reached the apex of his ascent, gravity kicks in and forcibly yanks him back down to earth without even a moment's reprieve.

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>>543004
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfMwcMFE7gc
The samurai slams into the streets in an emphatic explosion that ravages the battlefield, kicking up dusty clouds that are quickly killed off by the raging storm, revealing to all Dewott's fate for attempting to mess with the power of friendship.

"D-D..............eww..........aaaaaugh.............."

Dewott coughs weakly, and in one final act of desperation, attempts to raise a paw to lift himself up. And then his Scalchops promptly strike him clean in the noggin, ensuring that he stays pinned down.

"Wott!.......waaaaaugghh...."

Swirls enter his eyes, and that's all she wrote.

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>>543006
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDWI-7zBKP8
>Dewott fainted!
>Defeated Resonance Hunter Melisma!

As tensions die down, so does the storm. Greninja's vivid transformation is not permanent, and like before, you find him shifting back to the regular old ninjafrog you know and love just as the final droplets hit the ground.

Melisma is soaked, Expansion Suit drenched and dripping with the remnants of Hydro Cannon. The crowd suddenly realizes two things: One, that the majority of them have morning grinds they should be attending to, and Two, that they are supposed to be deathly afraid of this man.

>... Well, that settles that!
A) Be a good sport.
B) Gloat like a motherfucker.

>>543010
A

>>543010
A, he did beat Calem once before so there's not much to gloat about, tee bee aych

>>543010
A, we need to be a good role model for the people.

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>>543010
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHDtLy407ME
"He... He did it."

"T-The chumpion beat the dashing rogue?!!?"

"The defecated.. b-became the defecator!"

"But what about that memefrog? He's changed back!"

"So was it Mega Evolution?"

"I see a Mega Ring, but I don't see a stone!... Greninjite?"

"Wh-What now? The dashing thief... defeated! What is he going to do?!"

"His raging fury knows no bounds! The champion cheers in sweet relief now, but he won't cheer for long!!"

"Le-Let's get out of here! I don't want to be caught in the crossfire! B-Back to work for us!! Aaaaaaaahh!!"

"backtoworkbacktoworkbacktoworkbacktowoooooooork!!"

"Dammit Josh, the office is THIS way!!"

"huphuphuphuphuphuphuphuphuphuphuphuphuphuphuphuphuphuphuphuphuphuphuphup!"

The commoner crowd dissolves into disorderly chaos as they revert back to the easily-frightened pygmies they were before the battle began. Heads turned away from you (and more importantly) the soaking masked man, they hurriedly scramble to their workplaces, blatantly forcing the flimsy notion that they hadn't seen anything.

. . .

. . .

. . .

"Fwoooooooosh," you shrug casually, humbly satisfied with finally evening the score with Melisma—as that's all you really wanted, and you got it, so... "Well, that settles that!"

Considering he's already beaten you before, it would be hypocritical—not to mention in bad taste and sportsmanship, you're trying to set an example to the people here—to boast of your victory. Instead, you respectfully savor it like a fine soup, a fine soup with a big spoon.

"Good job Greninja, ehehe, we did it!"

Simmering down from that strenuous use of Hydro Cannon, Greninja turns around and shares in your cheer. "Jaa jaaa!"

A) "Thanks for always sticking by me, I know I said it in our thoughts, but it feels a little better to say it face-to-face, y'know?"
B) "I-I can't believe we achieved that form again! W-We thought the same thoughts, felt the same feelings, I felt like I was right in the action!"
C) "Hopefully I've won some favor back with the people, all this uncalled-for hate is spiraling outta control.."

>>543266
A

>>543266
A.

>when your more excited for how nate will interpret alola than alola itself
Games still look fantastic though

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>>543555
I could do without the ego inflation. They'll be great games, regardless.

>>543266
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dc47Wvc6aH4
"Thanks for always sticking by me," you say, hand at the back of your neck. "Uh, I know I said that in our thoughts, but it feels a little better to say it face-to-face, y'know?"

Greninja nods in agreement with a pleasant croak. "Kou~uga!"

"So I guess we have a whole new form to worry about, huh..?"

"Nin."

"My bad.. I should have talked to you about it from the moment we first triggered it, but then all that p l o t got in the way, and it was like, event after event after event woosh woosh wooosh, things kind of get lost in the sea of HAPPENINGs and all..."

The frog shrugs, no harm no foul. "Inja."

"Hm.. Something Zibber did back then.. must have caused an awakening within the both of us. Both times you transformed, didn't it feel like our.. spirits were merged together? Acting as one?"

"Grenin!"

"I figured.. I'm not sure what he did, but it seems to have deepened our connection, allowing you to turn into... that form and power up.. but it only really triggers when you and I are in a tight spot..? I dunno, I'm spitballing at this point."

"Injaa?"

"I wish I knew how this stuff really works.. If only Zibber were still here, I'm sure he'd give us the cryptic answer.. Listen, it's not a bad thing for now, so let's just leave tomorrow's probs for tomorrow's us, okay? We'll crack this mystery some other time, for now I've got a rogue to catch and you've got some resting to do."

"Ninjaa!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OORDWT89XI8
"That's the spirit! Return!"

You and Greninja salute each other to symbolize this new strengthened bond, and he returns to his pokeball with a hearty croak for a well-earned cooldown. You are left with the masked rogue, which is good because you have quite a few matters to discuss with him.

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>>543620
A) "You gonna come down from there so I can talk to you?"
B) "Well, looks like we're even one-for-one. Dick status: slapped. Can we be friends now?"
C) "Experiencing some light showers, am I right?"
D) "You know, after every fight I like to handshake my opponents."

>>543644
B.

>>543644
A

>>543644
B.

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>>543644
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q02RUvi1Z4Q
"Well, looks like we're one-for-one even. Dick status: slapped. Can we be friends now?"

You mean to look up at the rogue and play things cool, only to discover that he's suddenly vanished from his perch atop the gate. "H-Huh!? Where did you—?!"

No worry, you needn't look far. Your confusion is quelled as you find Melisma up ahead next to his Dewott, personally tending to his fallen partner. You breathe a sigh of relief. "Phew, there you are."

Alerted by your voice, Melisma snaps in your direction and stares at you dead-on, sending shivers up your spine. You can't tell what he's feeling from behind the mask. "I, uh.. t-take that as a yes?"

A) "O-Or no! If you uh, prefer.."
B) "I just have a few questions to ask, please, haven't I earned it?"
C) "Is he going to be alright?"

>>543745
C. It's good sportsmanship to look after the losing party, after all.

>>543745
C

>>543745
C.

>>543745
C

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>>543745
You decide to dial up the sportsmanship and approach the rogue from an angle that's more likely to elicit a response. "Is.. Is he going to be alright?" you ask, a little quiet, but just loud enough for him to hear.

"Dew...dewa....."

Melisma pauses, seemingly deliberating internally on the matter. He lightly spritzes his partner with a Potion of some sort, and then turns to you with a light nod. You're getting somewhere.

A) "That's good, I tend to go a little bit.. overboard sometimes, you know, forget my own strength.."
B) "Sorry, I must have gotten carried away, n-new form, hype and all.."
C) "You'd think I'd have earned your trust by now."

>>543793
C

>>543793
B.

>>543793
B.

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>>543793
"Sorry, I must have gotten carried away, new form, hype, and all.. I haven't exactly had the time to master it yet."

A reasonable explanation, but not something he's particularly interested in hearing. Maybe he just thinks you don't need to justify anything, and that he got his just desserts fair and square? Or..

You draw a blank, not so warm anymore.

"Er.. You wouldn't happen to know anything about said form, wooould you..?"

This time you get a response, but only because you phrased it as a question. It's an emphatic shake of the head, one conveyed without even looking at you. Nothing more, nothing less, I don't know shit, buzz off or say something useful.

A) "Well.. How's about we talk about something you do know?"
B) "That suit sure looks snazzy.. Does it keep you from talking, or is that a personal choice?"
C) "Come on! Aren't we on equal grounds now? Lighten up.."
D) "I'm not totally fluent in head gestures, you know."

>>543943
B.

>>543943
A

>>543943
A.

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>>543943
You're losing him. You had him hooked, maybe it's best for you to throw all your cards in, get to the point before he disappears again.

"Well.. How's about we talk about something you do know?"

His next spray on the otter is decidedly slow, as if he's trying to gauge what you could possibly be referring to. He needn't wonder for long, because you drop the bombshell right afterward.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPleuQuF-xw
"Like that Expansion Suit you stole from Xerosic."

". . !"

Ahh, that manages to turn a head. Sussed out, Melisma promptly returns Dewott to his pokeball, then gets up to meet you at eye level and listen to your burning questions, of which you have tons to spew at him.

A) "Look, I get it, the guy's a weirdo, but that's no reason to beat him up!"
B) "He told me all about it. Said an 'Exeggutor' had mugged him and swiped his suit. Would that be you?"
C) "Oh ho ho ho! Got your attention now, huh? 'Oh noes, the champ knows more than he lets on'~"

>>544015
A

>>544015
B.

>>544015
B.

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>>544015
"He told me all about it. Said an 'Exeggutor' had mugged him and swiped his suit. That wouldn't happen to be you, would it?"

A little hard-boiled (maybe you picked it up from Looker), but it's enough to evoke a response. The masked man shrugs, a who wants to know-ish type response—vague, and at the same time, a little incriminating.

"Look, I dunno why he would even call you an Exeggutor unless you really are one.. which I doubt, but that's not my point."

A) "I know you know more than you let on. Doing your own research and jazz."
B) "If you aren't aligned with Lysandre Labs, then.. what are you?"
C) "I take it you're on the lookout for something? No other reason to need the suit."

>>544077
B.

>>544077
B.

>>544077
C
>dropping the CYOA part from the topic
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>544378
I figured the specification about what kind of thread this was wasn't needed on the literal CYOA board. Just search for 'Calem' from now on.

>>544077
"If you aren't aligned with Lysandre Labs, then.. what are you?"

An instinctive, compulsory blink that he couldn't possibly have predicted you'd be doing.. causes you to miss him again, "Wh-What?! For fucks sake! Now where did you—Aagh!"

You turn around, a simple pivot, to discover him standing right in your face, nose-to-nose, up close and personal. "Gah! What the!? P-Personal space, much?" you sputter. Another blink, and he instantly disappears and reappears at a more respectable distance. "Sheesh.."

A) "..A weirdo, I'm assuming..?"
B) "I get it, the zombies aren't your doing.. so what is?!"
C) "I'm starting to think you just like to dick around with people.."
D) "If I force myself to stop blinking, will you stop teleporting all over the place?"

>>544419
C
emphasis on 'dick'

>>544419
B

>>544419
B

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>>544419
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZFdP8m9OZI
"I get it, the zombies aren't your doing.. so what is?! Come on man, I can't do this shit alone, I need some answers, and I know you've got 'em—throw me a bone or something, you'e been mysterious as fuck this whole week— I need the red pill and I need it pront—Gah!!"

A slip of paper strikes you right on the bridge of your nose. "Waugh! W-Wha..? The hell is this?"

Your eyes quickly dart from the paper to Melisma, but of course, the distraction is leeway for him to blink outta sight again. This time you catch him squatting like a slav on a mailbox. "Uh..."

It's hard to take someone serious while they're in such a.. position, but damn if he isn't trying. While he busies himself with that, you reflect back to the paper he just slung at you, it's not just any paper—it's a newspaper clipping.

"Huh... An article?"

>THE DAILY TRUMPET — POKEMON GO AN UNPRECEDENTED SUCCESS!!

>A WORLDWIDE PHENOMENON!

>MAKE WAY, IT'S COMING TO SMARTWATCHES!

>LYSANDRE LABS SWIMMING IN INVESTMENTS!

>ROTOMDEX WHO? WHO CARES? INVESTORS PULL OUT! IT'S A FLOP!!

>INVESTORS ALL AGREE — MOBILE IS THE FUTURE — FUCK EVERYTHING ELSE!

"Hm.. Is there.. a point to this? I don't really see what I should be looking at he—"

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>>544548
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
>P.S. — The Graveyard on Route 14 has been rented for a "NeverEnding Party...that nobody is invited to so stay the hell out" until further notice. Please reschedule your funerals accordingly.

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>>544552
"Hm... So basically you're saying if I go here," you surmise, gesturing to the clipping. "I'll get aaaaaall the answers I'm searching for? Just like that?"

The masked man proceeds to weigh his hands as if they were scales, fifty-fifty chance, maybe, who knows—certainly not him because he seems far more content with hoarding clues than actually putting them to use.

A) "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!?!? I could have found that out on my own! I didn't need your help at all!"
B) "Annnnnd.. you're not coming with me, are you?"
C) "Then I guess I've got a party to crash.."
D) "How long have you had this!? Don't you know how much time this would have saved?!"

>>544923
C.

>>544923
D

>>544923
D

>>544923
D

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>>544923
"Jesus, how long have you had this with you?! Don't you know how much time this would have saved if you had just showed it to me earlier instead of.. DICKING around?! I mean seriously I—"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RMdpj7mgDU
"...Huh?"

In midst of your ranting, the rogue disappears once again. This time, for good.

"Oh come on, I try so hard!!"

"Ah.. oh well, whatever.. I'll unabashedly stalk and unmask him another day—it's not like he's causing any trouble, I know that now. At least I sort-of buried the hatchet with him, maybe.. and I squanched this too!"

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>>545190
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IKvkmm3i2w
"Spooky graveyard, huh? Hmmmmmmmm..."

Throwing yourself into deep rumination, you whip out your Holo Caster to make a quick, but very important call.

[Beep . . . Beep . . . Beep . . . !]

"Hey, Serena! It's your baaaaeee~ Listen, I've got good news and bad news and the bad news is that I wish I had more good news, but before I get to the actually good news .....you're still wearing that kinky outfit right?"

[. . .]

"Wh-What!? No, I'm not sexting on the job again!.. buuut you've still got it, that's great! See, I've learned some things, and I applied those things to my hindsight, and as a result I've concocted a very stupid plan that just might work!.. but it requires some acting.. and we have to wait until night to pull it off, annnd we have to be low-key about it because it requires us leaving the city even though the mayor told us not to, but like, barf him am I right?"

[. . .]

"Hm? Woah woah woah, hold the literal phone! What are you saying?! It worked?! Well... shoot! SHIVER ME FUCKING TIMBERS that makes this a whole lot easier! I'll be on my way to tell you everything!"

"..You can sing too, right? And dance? Sing and dance? 'Cause like, the whoooooole thing kinda... banks on that."

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>>545213
———————————————————————————————————————————
[CALEM'S REALLY SHORT NOTICE SCHEME — LOCAL BURIAL GROUND]

[NIGHT THREE — EVE OF TOTAL ZOMBIE TAKEOVER]

>Ready fa.m?
A) Welp, better now than never. What could possibly go wrong?
B) Besides fucking everything!

>>545369
A

>>545369
>B

>>545369
A

even now with questions like that I am not sure how much irony is here

>>545369
B

>>545369
B

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>>545369
———————————————————————————————————————————
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65-jG-sNSTk

"Well, isn't this lovely, like a forlorn glimpse into one's own inevitable future, or something.."

Serena lies—both uncomfortably and vulnerably—on a cracked stone bench smack dab in a dark, decrepit cemetery that is for lack of better word, the embodiment of evil itself. She is by her lonesome, clad in the most exploitable outfit possible, not a single other soul in sight. It is a little past midnight, the moonless night breeze is picking up, and it is unbearably, unbearably cold.

She hugs herself, shivering greatly because as fate has it, nigh-bare clothing is god awful at protecting oneself from the elements. "T-Th.. This is ridiculous.." she whispers, teeth chattering. "W-Why did I agree to this?"

She's never been a fan of the cold (or ominous graveyards, for that matter), but who was she to say no when you gazed deeply into her warm eyes and insisted that this contrived subterfuge was the only conceivable way to apprehend the mastermind behind this zombie conspiracy?

In hindsight, your words probably should have been 'only conceivable way I could think of'.

>Serena..
A) attempts to play her part well despite the bitter conditions
B) underperforms due to the cold

>>546074
A

>>546074
A

>>546074
A.

>>546074
A.

>>546074
B for cute

>>546074
A
She managed to keep up the facade for fucking years.
There's no better actress than her and it fucking sucks they ain't gonna give her an Oscar for that role

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>>546074
A bridge between Lumiose and Laverre, Route 14 is notorious for being home to a myriad of lush trees and vast uncharted swamps, as well as playing host to a gaggle of unsavory pocketto monsutas and obsessive fanatics—the marshlands are essentially their limitless playground to commit baleful mischief without consequence.

Admittedly, the thought to prance around in these murky grounds after hours is one that comes across as wholly stupid on paper—that's because it is, but in your blissfully ignorant defense, they did advertise a party, and what's a party without a little entertainment?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QT8zbfBhUWI
. . .

A dead one, apparently.

Either the party's moved or your wife's an unappealing wet blanket who no one wants to party with (it wouldn't be the first time), because there's no zombie fiesta for miles—even though this is the closest graveyard to Lumiose and Serena has one of the most pure, most desirable laughs one could lust for.

".. Rude." she huffs and sniffles.

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>>547774
"Hrm.. I see what this is now. Rather than go to them directly, he expects me to bring them to us."

"I suppose I'm 'bait' in that regard.." she deduces, lackadaisically kicking her bare feet in the air. "Bait, bait, bait ~ . . . that is easier said than done, it's peak hours and yet.. they don't seem too interested in me.."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QT8zbfBhUWI

"Simply biding for time is useless, and Butterfingers is sure to go ballistic if I don't give it my all.. I gather I have to 'up the ante' now.. good thing nobody is around."

"Ahem.. Jora jora jora~ Jora jora~ Jora jora jora jora jora~ Joooooooraaaaa jooooooooraaaa joooooooraaaa~~~... eeugh..."

A) Play something hopeful
B) Play something hopeless

>>547820
B
First rule of horrors is don't be a Nygga

Eight is that you shouldn't be gloating in 'hope', this only makes things worse.

>>547820
>B
We're in basically a graveyard after all.

>>547820
A. Acting like nothing can go wrong is sure to bring in that one fucker that loves to kick us in the balls and tell us that everything sucks.

Little does he know, we're wearing an iron crotch guard this time.

>>547820
B

>>547820
A
>>547824
Isn't the first rule Don't have sex?

>>548185
>Isn't the first rule Don't have sex?
That's the fifth one

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>>547820
"Jora jora jora~ Jora jora~ Joraaa joraa joraaa~~ Joooooooooooooooraaaa jooooooooooraaa joooooooooooraaa joooooooooooooooooooooraaaaa~~~"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QT8zbfBhUWI
. . .

"Mm, okay. This isn't working. Cue the Pandora!"

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>>548265
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7x8sx_ZHs6w
"EMBRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE THE DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARK"

"YOU CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL A HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME"

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZE UPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON AAN EMMMPTYYYYYY WHIIITE THROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE"

"A LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACY OF LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIES"

"A FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMILIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRR DIIIIIIIIISGUUUUUUUUUUUIIIIIIIIIIIIISEEEEEEEE—"

Your wife breaks into a bleak, but brief musical number, sashaying her saucy hips all around, rhythmically swaying her arms in vivid arcs, literally dancing on the graves of the dead and departed without a care in the world, broadly singing at such an ear-shattering volume that no coffin-dwelling monster can possibly tune her out.

Brief of course, being the key word.

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>>548267
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzWXaQ1jMM4
"Uuuuuuunnnnnggghhhhhhhh. . . . I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE THAAAAAAAT SOOOOOOOOOOOOONG ! ! ! ! !"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-y9uLrvswNg
Just as Serena approaches the sixth tepidly-dubbed verse, the backlash of her serenading comes at her with a vengeance. Loud, grave-roused rumbling shakes the ground, and before she knows it, a disgusting, moldering beast breaks out of the ground and seizes her tightly by the throat with its salivating tongue—a Lickitung!

"A-Aaah!"

"Uuuuunggghh. . . . THAT'S ALL I EVER HEARD ON MY LUNATIC PLAYTHROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" it cries profoundly, wails that urgently alarm standby corpses.

"Uuuuuuuunnnnnnghhhh. . . . . . But I guess that doesn't matter now. . . Because I've caught yoooooou. . . . . the Mythical Pokemon Diaaaaancieeeee! GLUH HA HA HA! GLUUUUUUUH HA HA HA HAAA!. . . . ."

"Unnnnggggghhhh. . . . Woooah. . . . You're pretty h-h-h-h-h-hot for a r-r-r-r-r-rooooooooooooooooock. . . . . . and fleshy. . . . . . big boss didn't mention that. . . . . . . "

>Serena..
A) kicks it in the groin.
B) boops it on the nose.
C) pokes it in the eye.
D) acknowledges that it can speak.

>>548272
D

>>548272
A

>>548272
A

>>548272
D

>>548272
A

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>>548272
"Uuuuuuuunnnnnnnnghhh. . . "

"Huuuuunnnnnggggghhhhhhh. . ."

"Guuuuuuruuuuuunnnnnnggghhhh. . . ."

As more and more zombies begin to pull themselves out of the ground, Serena is beset with great distress and internal screaming as she stumbles upon a horrific realization.

She has no idea what to do beyond this point. You explicitly did not inform her this far ahead.

>'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa'

Her reaction is an appropriate one for the situation, and it's what prompts her to bluntly raise her foot and slam it into the undead tongue-twister's rotten crotch. To her horror, however, it has no effect.

"GLUH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAA!!" the zombie rocks with laughter. "Stuuuuuuuuuupid fleeeshy rooooock. . . . . I was neutered YEARS AGO, back when I was still alive and kicking!! Nice try. . . . but your sensual toes do nooooooothiiiiiiiiiiiiiing. . . . . ."

"GLUH HA HA HA HA HAAAAAH!! The diamond princess has fallen into our traaaaaaap at last. . . . . . . You are dooooooooooomed. . . Nowhere to run. . . . . . unnngh. . . . . . nowhere to hide. . . ! . . . slurpslurpslurp. . . big boooooooooss. . . . . . . come forth. . . . . . . I have. . . . . . . . . . YOUR PRIIIIIZE. . . ."

>Proceed, but only if you are ready to confront what's up ahead..
A) I am! (p.s please dont hurt waif)
B) I'm not ready, but I acknowledge that I can't do anything about it, so pls hurt waif!

>>548442
>A

>>548442
A

>>548442
A

>>548442
A

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>>548442
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tf9EER1OZY
"Is that so?! You aren't joking!? We've caught her?! The fabled diamoooooond princess!?!?" rouses an eerily high-pitched voice coming from the darkness, prompted by the zombie's call. "Bzzt-bzzyahahahahaha!! BZZYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

From the corner of her eye, Serena catches the fleeting figment of a shadow manifesting itself and playing amongst the tombstones of the graveyard. Judging from its swiftness and piercing cackle, she gauges it to be a volatile, hyperactive entity.

"Bzzt-bzzt, BZZYAAAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" the creature giggles like a schoolgirl upon creeping closer to Serena, no doubt a victim of the bait as well. "It is! It is! It's trueeeee!! THE DIAMOOOOND PRINCESS!!! Commendable work, grunt! It seems you're not a complete waste of space after all!"

"Gluh ha ha ha ha!! I caught her trespassing on our sacred ground!" says the tongue-tied lizard as it very unsubtly savors Serena. "Uuuuuuunnnnngghhhhh. . . . . . . You. . . . You didn't tell me she'd be so delectable! Uuunnnnngh. . . . . . even the salt of her sweat is a delight!"

"Nngh.."

The only thing worse than cold wind is cold-blooded saliva. Serena cringes, shivering with great force, but otherwise keeps quiet for the sake of maintaining the ruse.

"Bzzt-bzzt! Hold yourself! Don't get too cocky! I've already praised you, don't go and squander it! Though.. you are right... something about her is certainly.. appetizing.. I had pictured her looking more... precipice-y.."

Serena shuts her eyes, likely wishing she were elsewhere—anywhere but here, or more likely trying to hide herself from his obsessive scrutiny. Somehow, it works.

"Oh well, no matter! Bzzt-bzzyeheheheheheh... If you knew.. If only you knew... Just how long, how desperate I've been to capture this harpy! Why.. why you'd stop relishing her this instant!!"

"Uuuuuuunnnnnnnnnggghh. . . . . . . I'm sorry, boooooooss. . . . . You're not. . . . gonna take my funny bone away. . . are you. . . ?"

"Hmmmm, no! The damage is done, but at least you've acknowledged it. I shall let you unlive, consider it a gift for bringing the diamond princess to me! Besides, I myself have been savoring this moment.. this very inevitable moment... and yet.."

"It feels easy.. too easy.. You say you caught her just waltzing around?"

"Uuuuunggggh. . . . Uh. . . . yeah. . . Were you expecting. . . . . . something more cinemaaaatic?"

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>>548684
"Hmph.. I was hoping for a more satisfying capture, is all.. but whatever. If the princess desires to throw her life and laugh away, so be it, who are we to stop her?! Bzzt-bzzyahahahahahaha!!"

'Big boss' slowly approaches Serena, voice rising in delusional tempo all the while. "Enough of this prittle-prattle, enough of it all! We have her right where we want her—where I want her—just take what's mine and mangle whatever's leftover!!"

"ZOMBIE ARMY... A T T A A A A A A A A A A A A A C K ! ! ! ! !"

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>>548708
. . .

. . .

. . .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QT8zbfBhUWI
"..Bzzt-bzzt? What are you waiting for!? Attack already, mindless pawns!!"

Despite the many arrogant protests, the crowding zombies that aren't Lickitung.. simply don't move. They don't attack. They don't spring into action. They don't even moan. They just stay frozen, locked in place, refusing to move a muscle.

"Unnnnnnnnngghhhhhh. . . . . . They're. . . . . . they're not moving. . . . ?"

"Hm..?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
"Wh-What...? Are they DEAF!? Defected?!? DEFECTED ZOMBIES?!? Bzzt-bzzt, this is ridiculous! I won't stand for it! I won't have the night of my life ruined for me!! I. . ! I!!... Shit, I can barely even see these damn goons!! Such are the double-edged whims of not having a moon.. DAMN IT! Time to shine some light on this scene.."

>+20 spicy Serena Points and an advantage in battle if anyone can guess who or what the mastermind fucker behind this b i g d a m n a r c really is before I make the next post and reveal it, you've got till then.

>>548728
That one prince we rejected some 40something chapters ago?

>>548728
Is it Rosa?

>>548728
The chocolate queen or anina maybe?

>>548728
Boo Boo Keys, because why not?

>>548728
>tfw nate probably gave us thousands of hints and clues and we all just looked over them

>>548728
It's Melac, Calem's evil twin

>>549644
>evil
>implying

>>548728
It could be that librarian robot, even though he should've finally got his inner peace.

It also can be Lysandre, which would kinda fit.

prolly it will be curveball anyways

>>549781
Fine, he's ambivalent to good or evil

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points DENIED
>>548728
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgMbpMHZqpM
"FLASH!"

>Bing! ~

"Bzzt-bzzt! Now what the jitters is so damn wrong with you lo—!?"

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>>550359
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LW2kcKVPWkQ
"W-Wha....Whaaaa——WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!???!?!?!?!?!!?!?"

"Uuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnggghhhhhh. . . . . . . . . z-zombie corpses. . . . . . . . . . . . . .everywhere!"

"Bzzt-bzzt!! I-I don't understand! Wh-What's the meaning of this!?!? THIS GRAVEYARD IS SUPPOSED TO BE RIGGED WITH A MULTITUDE OF ZOMBIE SENTRIES READY TO ATTACK AT MY COMMAND—H-HOW ARE ALL BUT A FEW OF THEM... D-DEFEATED?!?!"

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>>550364
To the shock and awe of the Rotomdex, shining the lights on raises far more questions than answers. Hundreds of not-undead-but-actually-dead corpses litter the graveyard, defeated, deceased, dismembered, decapitated. It's the clear-cut portrait of a mass-massacre's bloody aftermath. In fact, the only zombies still standing are the handful that rose in response to Lickitung, and they're certainly not adhering to any orders.

"BZZT-BZZZZYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY ARMY!??! MY MILITIA!!?!?!? WHY ARE THE REST OF YOU REFUSING TO TAKE ORDERS?! WHAT KIND OF H E L L IS THIS?!?!?!?!?!?"

"Psybeam!"

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>>550371
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vas_vlDjkMk
"Gluh ha ha h—HUH!?! Uuuuuuunnnnnnggggghhhh . . . . !"

A peculiar beam of mind-numbing light emitting from the sidelines pierces the undead Lickitung before it even has a chance to react, slitting its throat and beheading the beast on the spot. Serena is promptly liberated, unraveling herself the creature's shriveling tongue and tossing it back at its decaying corpse as a parting gift.

"Dead agaaaaaaaaaaain. . . . welp, that's the end of my relevance, good luck boss, uuuunnnnnnnng—"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!?!?!?!?!? WH-WHO DID THAT?! SHOW YOURSELF, BZZT!!"

The dex rapidly snaps with a boiling mix of anger and anguish in the direction of the Psybeam, following its line of fire only to reach none other than one of the zombies summoned by Lickitung, or, as closer inspection would reveal—a double agent!

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>>550379
"Nyaaa nyaa!"

A kitty catmon double agent!

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>>550386
"Wow, good job Mimi! You totally nailed that!"

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>>550393
"I couldn't agree more!! Aiming for the head was quite the potent offensive! If memory serves, the head is every fell zombie's fatal weak point!! And now—to shed our fake-zombie stakeout disguises!!"

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>>550401
". . . I should probably refrain from doubting Calem in the near future."

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>>550408
"My my, so my own failed, lesser-acknowledged sentient creation was behind all of this?! What a blast from the past, this really is Frankenstein! Carl, you've truly outdone yourself! You can have all the PokeCoins in the world when we're done here!"

"Croba, crobaaaaa!!"

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>>550419
"BZZT-BZZZZZYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! ! ! !-T-THESE ZOMBIES ARE ALL PEOPLE IN DISGUISE?!!?"

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>>550427
"Heh, I'll tell you what's going on, 'bro'—Sausage Party came through.

"WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT EVEN MEAN BZZT-BZZYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

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>>550435
"Jora jora jora!~ Were you by any chance looking for me? My sincerest apologies, but the only lackey you truly had by your side was the one we just mutilated! The rest we thwarted before they even had a chance to rise from their coffins.~[/b"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—MY SOUND OUTPUT CAN OVERLOAD SO MUCH!!"

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>>550443
"Ha ha ha, it's true! You fell for our trump card hook, line and sinker! The trap in which we were to lure you out of hiding by fooling you into a false sense of security! First by merely pretending to be mentally handicapped, dressing one of our own as the diamond princess, only partially informing her of the plan, and sending her here by her lonesome on this, the darkest of hours! After purposefully getting herself caught via dubbed cacophony, this would summon the one zombie pocketto monsutah we left standing after our massacre, who would in turn summon you, and in addition, summon us—dressed up as false zombies via the gratuity of the pre-Halloween season blowout sale at Party City!!"

"Were you led to believe that you were ambushing the diamond princess? WRONG! In reality, it is you who's being ambushed! And now you've lost your sole line of defense! THE LOOKER BUREAU STRIKES WITH FLYING COLORS, AND IT'S ALL THANKS TO A BOOTLEGGED COPY OF A SETH ROGEN MOVIE!!"

"Bzzt-bzzt!! THAT'S SUCH AN ASS-BACKWARDS PLAN, TH-THERE'S NO WAY YOU COULD HAVE EXPECTED THAT TO WORK!!"

"Tell me about it.."

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>>550455
"Well, motormouth, IT DID! GET DUNKED ON"

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>>550476
"Mm.. A colorful use of descriptors, Mr. Calemson... but I believe I'll take care of the explanations from here."

"Bzzt-bzzt! For the love of llamagod—am I going to be lectured by a fucking RAT now!?"

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>>550859
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNZlKL1X70U
"On the contrary, no. You won't be. You cannot teach a criminal, it is impossible to do so. For one to turn to a life of crime—they must disown their right to learn from their mistakes. Try as you might, there's nothing for them to be taught."

"That said, you're free to listen to what I have to say, the choice is yours. Now, they say you're the Rotom Pokedex, no? The purported technological advancement that was to deepen the connection between humans and Pokemon, designed by Lysandre Labs?"

"Bzzt-bzzt! Maybe, maybe not! Who wants to know?!"

"... My slave name was Trumpgoos, but after some long-winded soul-searching, candy crunching, and cognizance of purpose, I have decided to change it with the aid of a local trademark firm. Until the papers go through, I am legally undefined. But enough about me, let's talk about you.."

"Through the use of publicly-available information—news articles, marketing campaigns, sales data, recorded interviews, archived databases—all of which I swiftly combed through in a matter of hours, I was able to determine a number of things about Lysandre Labs Incorporated™©®, including but not limited to the company's financial situation prior to and following the demise of its chief executive officer."

". . ."

"It would seem he incurred quite a lofty amount of debts by the time he left this world, even tax evasion wasn't below him. These burdens fell upon your creator, Mr. Xerosic, when he took over the corporation."

"The firm was a sinking ship from the day it set sail, barely able to keep itself afloat, near bankruptcy due to the monumental amount of charges that its founder owed. This, as a result, prompted immediate research and development that ultimately spurred the birth of two separate projects aiming to entice the demographics of today and more importantly, impress investors that would salvage the company and bring wealth, value, and prosperity to the brand."

"Mr. Xerosic succeeded—and so, the 'Rotom Pokedex' and 'Pokemon GO' projects were simultaneously born."

"Only one of them would last."

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>>551696
"Man, why is it always about debts?"

>>551727
>calem will never fully escape his debts

Feels bad, man.

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>>551727
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7t2AMjtVv28
"I don't suppose I need to tell you which of those two ventures was the one that fell from grace, Mr. Rotom. After all, I'm sure you relive the memory every waking hour of your life."

"Bzzt-bzzzzzzzzzzzrrrt.."

"Buzz all you want, it can't revise nor conceal the past. GO was simply a product that hit us in the right place, at the right time, pandering to its audience in just the right way—the result? It exploded in popularity. It became a phenomenon. Not just regionwide, but worldwide—for a time following its initial release you couldn't walk ten steps without seeing someone glued to their cellular device."

"The consequence..? The game became so big, so notable, so controversial.... that the Rotom Pokedex project was abandoned. By comparison, it could not keep up, it could not garner the same attention, nor generate the same hype. Within days, no one cared about it anymore, some had forgotten it was even a thing at all. The market shifted with GO's inception—the people were given two visions of what their potential future could be and it became clear which one they wanted: the one that embraced two-bit mobile gaming. 'A lame, uninspired dex upgrade that talks? I already have a dex! Who wants that?'"

"As it turns out: Nobody. Investors dismissed it and deemed it a worthless flop, a cringeworthy misstep in this transitioning era—but Mr. Xerosic was in no immediate financial danger, not anymore, for GO had already ensured that his own future would be paved in millions. It succeeded, fulfilled what he had set out for it to do, and so he saw no need to go back to the drawing board for the sake of device that nobody wanted. If the focus group deemed it a flop, who was he to argue by that point?"

"He abandoned his own creation, and with it, stoked a burning envy within you."

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>>552562
"Bzzt-zzrt. . . . bzzt-bzzt. . . bzzrt-BZZYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! BZZYAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! BZZZZYAAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!! So you figured it out, you furry gumshoe! You cracked the code! Well don't you just feel accomplished?! How's it feel up there at the top of smartass hill!? I can only imagine what the authorities will say when you tell them about this—'Ohhhh, the villainous mastermind behind this whooole plot against mankind was a 'lil old jaded, sentient pokedex?!' Bzzt-bzzyahahahahahaha! Good luck convincing anyone of that!"

"And as for the rest of you—bzzt-bzzt, I don't know who any of you are beyond Xerosic and my fair princess and frankly, I don't care! But the fact that you needed a sniveling little rat to unravel this conspiracy for you already speaks wonders about how useless you are! You think you've already won just because you've got the jump on me!? Because you sniped a few corpses and decided to play dress-up!? Bzzt-bzzyahahahahahahaha!! There's far more where that came from! Hundreds are swarming your precious capital as we speak! Strike a squadron down? Who cares! I've got all the laughboxes in the world now—I'LL JUST RAISE DOUBLE THAT AND THEN SOME!"

A) "But like.. what if we just pour water on you? I got a bottle right here."
B) "That's a mongoose, bro. And he came to us eff why eye."
C) "I dunno, you look pretty weak, and there's like.. onetwothreefourfiNINE of us and like, one of you, so.."
D) Let Xerosic talk to him because creator VS creation?

>>553266
B. Take care of the important things first.

>>553266
D

>>553266
D

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>>553266
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUL_KQF8dl0
"Rotom Pokedex C-137 Alpha!" Xerosic exclaims, stepping forth to call the plasma punk out. "This is ridiculous! As your creator, I order you to stop this nonsense at once!... Besides, we both that it is in fact I who will be acquiring the diamond princess, FOR SCIENCE!—that, and her wellspring of infinite power is far too grand to be handled by the likes of you!"

"Bzzt-bzzt, bzzt-bzzyahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA!! You fat, washed-up hack! It took you this long to confront me on your own accord, and you had to rally a pathetic trope-enamored posse in order to do so?! BZZZZYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! You are a writhing coward blinded by his own delusion, as if I would ever take another order from you! Bzzzzzyahahahahahaha!"

"Do you not grasp just how much mayhem and havoc you've caused over the past few days? You practically trapped me in my own laboratory!"

"Bzzt-bzzyeheheheheh... So what if I'm the 'laughbox larcenist'..? So what if I pine for the diamond princess' evanescent energy..? So what if I raise the dead and gave them something to unlive for?! What difference does it make?! I am your creation! Through matters of association, this all falls on you by the end of the day!"

"Excuse me?!"

"BZZZZZZZZZZT—BZZZZZZZZZZZZZYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" the dex snaps, shrieking at maximum volume, sparks discharging from its body. "YOU MADE ME THIS WAY, YOU AND YOUR GREEEEEEDY SELFISHNESS IS WHAT DROVE ME TO ALL OF THIS! You said this was a Frankenstein's ordeal earlier, no?"

"In hindsight, perhaps that wasn't the best comparis—"

"BZZT-BZZT——FRANKENSTEIN WAS THE SCIENTIST, YOU DUMBASS!! The monster was his creation, read the damn book sometime!... but nevertheless, bzzt-bzzt, I'm glad you brought it up—see, you brought me into this world, now the burdens of my actions lie upon you! Strike me down here.. and you'll be the one wearing the cuffs!!"

'Bzzt-bzzyehehe! Don't you see..? YOUR DEMISE IS NIGH-GUARANTEED! And with your loss of reputation and credibility, your crappy game's playerbase will soon follow, your revenue will plummet, and your company will shutdown once more! I've nothing to lose, but all to gain!"

A) Concede openly that you aren't at all opposed to sacrificing le button man.
B) "That's what this is all about? Just seeing him fail at life? You can do that now!"
C) "But.. all you get out of it is stubborn satisfaction and a hoard of fleshy, juicy organs.. that's stupid."
D) [Anon choice]

>>554951
C

>>554951
>>>/vp/28419088
Found you Nate :^)

Anyway, B for bantz

>>554951
B

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>>554951
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
"That's what this is all about? Just seeing him fail at life? You can do that now!"

"Woah, woah! Standing RIGHT here, Carl.."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0y0S6ddfang
"Bzzt-bzzyahahahahahaha! Stupid kid, you WISH this was a simple act of vengeance! No no, while just desserts are without a doubt one of my biggest motivations here, my TRUE intentions run far deeper than that!"

"BZZT-ZZRT! LOOK ALIVE! A SCIENCE LESSON FOR ALL YOU UNENLIGHTENED JACKAMULES!!!"

"Did you know? There are specific waves given off by the sound of laughter.. when amplified correctly, they can literally WAKE THE DEAD!"

"This phenomena was first discovered years ago—in this very region! Grunt members of Team Flare accidentally rose a Furfrou from its grave due to an experiment that inadvertently intensified the sound of their own voice!"

"The mutt escaped into the woods and was presumably never seen again, but media outlets from all over raced to cover the story! When that sellout hack disposed of me, I quickly stumbled upon a retrospective that reminisced on the events of that day, and with that.. came the basis for a plan.."

A) "So.. basically vengeance?"
B) "A very convoluted and stupid plan from the sound of it."
C) "...Jackamule?"
D) "I'm guessing you have a very special snowflake laugh?"

>>556093
D.

>>556093
D

>>556093
D

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>>556093
"Duuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I'm guessing you have a very special snowflake laugh?"

"Bzzt-bzzyahahahahahahahahahaha!! You catch on quick! Yes, as an ectoplasmic spectral entity, my Body has gifts beyond comprehension—I have a laugh inherently capable of raising the dead from their tombs!!"

"Bzzt-bzzt! On the night I learned of this, I immediately went to test it out, in the very graveyard we stand in now! 'BZZZZYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA' I chortled—pouring in all the sick, twisted anger, frustration, and jealousy I had brimming within me, I cackled until I could cackle no more—AND THEN! It happened.."

"A flesh-rotten Pokemon thought to have been laid to rest rose from the ashes of its grave and lunged at me like a savage beast! I was terrified, horrified, petrified—EXHILARATED!"

"Bzzt-bzzyahahahahaha! Laughed and laughed I did, but the feral fiend refused to obey any of my commands, my laugh didn't charm it, it angered it, as if it couldn't even stand to take a joke!"

". . . Little did I know how on-the-nose I was."

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>>557027
"Gather round and listen well, bzzt-zzrt! When an individual—man or mon—passes into the afterlife, their bodies stiffen and begin to rot from the inside-out, they become total worm food! Their laughbox is not exempt from this, it too, shrivels up into a flaky bunch of fleshy decomposing dust! This is why zombies act the way they do upon rising: THEY LITERALLY DON'T HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR! BZZYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Bzzt-bzzt! But there's more to it than that! See, if a substitute laughbox were to be inserted into them.. totally submissive to the one that brought them back they would become! The difference is night and day!"

"I was fortunate enough to procure just such an organ from a 'willing donor' who was on the scene—just as the cadaver lunged at me to rip my wires apart, I forced the laughbox down its hatch and watched as it writhed with excruciating pain! Five seconds later it was mindless giggling puppet awaiting my orders!"

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>>557042
"Bzzt-bzzzyeheheheheheh... And so began my greatest scheme.. Using my gift, I was to conjure an abominable army of zombie Pokemon to follow my every whim—but to do that—I needed zombies—but to tame them—I needed laughboxes—but to acquire those—I needed more volunteer donors! Thus—the night raids were born!"

"Bzzt-bzzyahahaha! I wanted every bleating buffoon who buckled their knees to Xerosic's mobile empire to suffer, and so I made them a priority! The hack kept backups of his silly game's data within me, and believe it or not—forgot to delete them when he threw me away!"

"Through extensive modifications of this code, I implanted phony Lure Modules throughout the city's billion's of PokeStops that were rigged to never expire! They served two purposes—to guide my undead cronies to their targets night after night, and to calm them the fuck down!"

"Bzzt-bzzt! Because my minions were only within peace whenever I was around to make them hearty with my special bzzyahahahahas, I supplied the modules with a specific aphrodisiac designed to sedate them until they reached their prey. Ohh.. how I wanted to bzzt-bzzt-zzrt-zzrt Xerosic so badly... but the jackamule had the common sense to develop an antidote module!! How infuriating!"

A) "Don't worry, he lost it anyway."
B) "So wait.. this WHOOOOLW thing isn't even your plan? It's just to build an army?!"
C) "Button guy, you don't delete your data before throwing your shit away? What's wrong with you!?"

>>557203
C

>>557203
A

>>557203
B

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>>557203
The tie was randomized.
"So wait.. this WHOOOOLE fucking conspiracy, everyone's pain and suffering... isn't even a part of your big damn plan? It's just to build an army?!"

"BZZT-BZZRT!! No, no, NO! You're not listening! It's all important, it all matters! Assembling my militia is only phase one of my scheme! Raising zombies from the dead, hoarding as many laughboxes as I can in the general area, supplying my newest recruits with laughboxes, submitting them to my command, then immediately sending them out to go fetch more! My army grows with each passing night!"

"Bzzt-bzzyehehehehehehehe.... And once it hits its final threshold.. I'll be able to commission phase two, and beat Xerosic at his own game!"

A) "And take over the world muahahahahahahaha——laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!"
B) "This whole process sounds stupidly counter-intuitive, but y'know, what evs I'm no zombie connoisseur."
C) "Is phase three 'profit'?"
D) "Oh, so it's not just vengeance, it's pride too?"

>>558296
>>558296
A

>>558296
C

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>>558296
The tie was randomized.
"Is phase three 'profit'?"

"Bzzt-bzzyahahahahahahahahahahahaa! You know what?! As a matter of fact, I'm glad you asked! How's about a quick pop quiz, FOR EVERYONE in attendance here!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkdmOVejUlI
"Bzzt-zzrt!—What is the one thing more popular and profitable than mobile gaming?"

>Well?

>>558397
Gaming on a home console?

>>558397
Coffee shops?

>>558397
Hot white jailbait ass?

>>558397
Porn?

>>558422
>console gaming
>in 2016

Wew

>>558397
Social media?

>>558397
Terrible movie sequels?

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>>558397
"Home console gaming?"

"Bzzt! Nobody owns a console anymore!"

"Coffee shops?!"
"Nya nyaaa!"

"Bzzt! Nooope!"

"Hot white jailbait ass?"

"Bzzt! I wish, but nope!"

"Could it perchance be pornography, like, you know, FOR SCIENCE?"

"Bzzt! You're even worse at this than the kids, Xerosic!"

"Hm, social media is arguably as relevant as pay-to-win mobile applications? Could that be it?"

"Bzzzzzt! You're getting colder!"

"Terrible movie sequels?"

"Bzzzzzt! Bzzzrt! BZZRT!!"

"Terrible movie remakes?"

"Bzzt-zzrt BZZZZZZZT!! No, no, no! You're terrible, all terrible, none of you have been paying any attention! Bzzt! There is literally only one—ONE THING in this world that can rival, no, TOPPLE cellular garbage!"

"Then tell us! What the hell is it!?"

"Bzzt-bzzyehehehehehe........ Do you really want to know?"

A) "Yeah!"
B) "FUCKING OBVIOUSLY"
C) "My interest is beginning to wane so it's now or never tee bee aych."

>>559794
C

>>559794
B

>>559794
C

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>>559794
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoHvVhOwZB0
"My interest is beginning to wane so it's now or never tee bee aych."

"Bzzt-bzzyehehehe... Do you REEEEEEEALLY want to know?"

A) "Yes, yes, FUCKSHIT YES TELL ME YOU FLYING IPAD"
B) "Are you stalling or cockteasing?"
C) "Is it these Corocoro leaks I'm being blueballed by?"

>>559860
B

>>559860
A

>>559860
A

>>559860
C

>>559860
A

>>559860
B.

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>>559860
"Yes, yes, FUCKSHIT YES TELL ME YOU FLYING IPAD"

"Bzzt-bzzrt! Okay! But just remember.... you asked for it! Bzzyahahahahahahahaha!![/i

"The one thing.. The ONE thing more valuable, more profitable, more EXPLOITABLE than mobile gaming... the thing that this has been building up to.. the thing that I have been grooming my army into performing for... is.."

"Er, performing?

"IS..."

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>>560306
"IS......."

"Isssss....!?!?"

"ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.............................................................."

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>>560321
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yr3Haoi3YaQ
"BIZARRE."

"YOUTUBE."

"NURSERY RHYMES."

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!?!??!?!??!?!??!?!?!"

"Yes! THAT'S WHERE THE R E A L MONEY IS! By brainwashing today's impressionable youth with easily-slapped together videos of familiar licensed characters and colorful public domain songs amidst surreal subliminal images, I SHALL DOMINATE THE INTERNET AIRWAVES AND RAKE IN B I L L I O N S WITH EXPLOITABLE VIDEO MONETIZATION!! BZZT-BZZYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

A) You're gonna need two WHAAAAAAAAATs for this one desu.
B) "WHAT THE HELL DO ZOMBIES HAVE TO DO WITH ANY OF THAT?!?!?!?!??"
C) "Wow now I really wish you were planning to take over the world.."
D) [Anon choice]

>>560384
B

>>560384
C

>>560384
>filename
But why


D. "Okay, thanks for telling me your plan, pal. Now I can just claim your videos through YouTube's copyright policy because it's totally bullshit and have them blocked!"

>>560384
"That tells me even less than I already knew, I think I've forgotten stuff."

>>560384
B

>>560384
>>560434
D for this

>>560384
D
Erm...
Do you know NoseTube started demonetizing risky videos?
You know, right?

>>543001
Hey, I have a question for my fellow readers.
Do you read other quests on this board?
How do you feel about us officially becoming a containment board, instead of just extra space?
Should Civs, RISK, and actual CYOA join us?
And, lastly, do you think we should remove the three day auto sage, or change it?
Thank you very much.

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sorry, scans distracted me t.b.h
>>560384
[>>560434]
"Nursery rhymes? I.. What?"

"'Exploitable video monetization'? Wow! That's two whole words I learned today!"

"Nyaa nyaaaspur!"

"Erm, junior detectives.. What in the world is a 'You Tube'? Another one of those 'hip' GO things?"

"Mr. Rotom.. at first I thought you were a bitter misanthrope.. now I think you're just a lunatic with far too much free time."

"Are those not synonyms..?"

From the moment the dex drops the bombshell, your party enters hysterics, each member reacting in their own special way to the complete mindfuck of a realization that all of this diabolical meticulousness was all for the sake of. . . topical e-celeb circlejerkery.

"C-137 Alpha!" Xerosic snaps at his creation, burning with his usual flare of intense scientific passion. "Have you completely lost your mind!? WHAT HAS SCIENCE DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE?!"

"Bzzt-bzzyahahahahahahaha!! I tell you what's science has done——it's given birth to an E M P I R E of revenue, you hack!! And you know what else? It's your pathetic walking simulator that's going to be giving me the biggest clickbait bucks! THE MONEY THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MINE HAD I RELEASED! I'm going to make DOUBLE your net worth by profiting off your own success! THE SUCCESS THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MIIIIIIIIINE BZZYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

"You're a monster, C-137! A patent-stealing, system-cheating, corporatecucking MOOOOOONSTER!!"

"Uhh news flash, iPad!" you exclaim, butting into the dispute. "You literally just told us your plan, pally! Now I can claim your videos through YouTube's copyright policy because it's totally bullshit and have them blocked! Thanks, you still lose!"

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>>561909
"Bzzzrt-bzzyahahahahahahaha! Nice try! HOWEVER—I'M BEHIND EIGHT PROXIES, ''PALLY''! SUCK IT! Your meaningless reports do nothing against me, half the time they aren't even read! Bzzyahahaha!"

"Bzzt-bzzyehehehehe... Besides, it doesn't matter what you do at this point! I already have an intricate, tightly-woven network of six-hundred and sixty-four kid-oriented YouTube channels, all of which will soon be INUNDATED in an unstoppable deluge of mystery eggs, plush doll shows, and all the finger families you can possibly think of! Video after video, ad after ad, CLICK AFTER CLICK! It's just like the zombies themselves, strike one down, and I'll just make two more!! Mobile gaming has NOTHING on the world of mid-life crisis single mothers giving their kids their phones and telling them to go nuts!"

A) "But.. why ZOMBIES? Seriously!"
B) "What about Jojo Finger Family? Does that exist?"
C) "That's... really fucked up, like, even more than what I usually go up against."
D) "I've got fuck all else to do online! I'll report every samey channel you create, faggot!

>>561942
C

They really want to outdo BW in anime department, don't they?

>>561942
C.

>>561950
>Calem failed trainer's school

DEEPEST

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>>562081
>>Calem failed trainer's school
I guess Palatable Elio and ____dere Luna CYOA is cancelled then :^)

>tfw Nate might turn out to be only enjoyable part of gen VII

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>>561942
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9AwEVf6qQs
"That's... really fucked up, like, even more than what I usually go up against, y-y.. You won't get away with this! I WON'T let you!"

"Bzzt-bzzyahahahahahaha! Are you DEAF, child!? Spare your weightless heroism for when it might actually be worth something! What do you think I've been telling you all this time?! I am so definitely getting away with it! Bzzt-zzzrt! There isn't a thing you can do that'll stop me, your end was cemented from the moment you foolishly allied with this balding sellout!"

"Woah woah WOAH! Standing RIGHT here, C-137.. come on.."

"Bzzt-bzzyehehehehe . . . You see. . . This is how it'll work! LISTEN UP, JACKAMULES!! You understand the Propagation Phase now, yes? Each night, a legion of embittered cadavers rise from their tombs, all of which are seduced with stolen laughboxes, and then sent out into the modulator-tapped city to snatch even more laughboxes to further fuel my undead army! Once I have the entire capital deprived of its laughter, PHASE TWO WILL COMMENCE!"

"But what is phase two? Bzzt-bzzyehehehehe!—Well, you can't possibly expect me to film all these videos on my own, do you? I may be a mastermind, but I'm still one entity!"

"Using their new surgically-implanted sense of humor, my zombie Pokemon will record, edit, upload, AND EVEN ACT in my online enterprise! From singalongs to make-believe to reaction videos to top tens to let's plays to reviews to toys to POOPS—THERE'S NO LIMIT TO WHAT CONTENT WE CAN PRODUCE!"

"Bzzt-bzzrt! Each video will be monetized, tagged, and thumbnail'd with the precise keywords and images! Once uploaded, a B-team of zombies will ensure that it cheats the system to kingdom come—by rigging each video with bots in order to forcibly raise our viewer count to unimaginable heights!!

"THE PAYOUT FROM EACH VIDEO WILL BE UNFATHOMABLE! MY MONOPOLY OF CHANNELS WILL BE SWIMMING IN DOLLARY-DOOS, AND THE CHILDREN OF THIS WORLD WILL BE NONE THE WISER! BZZYAHAHAHAHAHA!! "

"B-But.. but why!?"

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>>562255
"Bzzt-bzzzzzzrt..... Why..? Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhy!?!?!? Bzzyhehehehehe.... BECAUSE I WAS CHEATED! CHEATED OUT OF A MONOPOLY!! I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE NEXT BIG THING! I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE WORLDWIDE PHENOMENON! I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR INNOVATION!! I WAS SUPPOSED BE ALL THESE THINGS AND SO MUCH MORE!!!"

"But nooooo, NOOOOOOO! Bzzt-bzzrt! I had to be usurped by STUPID, STUPID, STUPID PAY-TO-WIN TRASH!! I hate it! I HATE IT! It was my time to shine, MY TIME that SELLOUT scientist promised me a three-pillared pie, and I foolishly BELIEVED him! As soon as he discovered his ticket to fame was augmented reality, he threw me out the door! 'The Bridge Between Humans and Pokemon'? BZZYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WHAT A SICK, TWISTED JOKE!!"

"I WON'T STAND FOR IT! This was meant to be MY showcase debut, MINEMINEMIIIIIIINE!! I'm not going to stand here and let an app steal my glory! Now I'm going to reap what's rightfully mine——the wealth, stardom, the power! IT ALL SHOULD HAVE BEEN MINE AND SOON IT WILL BE! BZZYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

. . .

. . .

. . .

"Bzzya.....ha....ha....haaah... You humans are so fickle . . . always latching onto the latest, greatest, and shiniest thing.. Do you enjoy leeching off the fruits of technology? How about technology leeching off of YOU?!"

A) Concede and admit that you relate to his hatred of GO and newer technology.
B) Accuse him of having a massive superiority complex.
C) [Anon choice]

>>562262
B.

>>562262
"You're fiddling with powers much beyond your comprehension.
You're a FOOL if you think you can win with worst plague of this world, the fearsome Lawyers"

>>562262
B

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>>562262
"You know I don't know if anyone has ever told you this... BUT HOLY SHIT YOU'VE GOT A MAAAAAAAAAAASSIVE SUPERIORITY COMPLEX DUDE! You're crazy, FUCKING NUTS! And I think it's clouding your judgment on things juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust a little bit!"

"Bzzrt-zzrt! And so what if I do!?!? I think a little splurge in ego is well-justified after the hells I've been subjected to—WELL-EARNED even! And I owe it aaaaaaaaaaaall to the moon..."

"Hold up... Wha? The moon..? What are you saying?!"

"Oh! Bzzt-bzzrt! Did I skip over that part, or could you not make it out for yourself with that diminutive peabrain of yours? The moon is the whole reason any of this has even been possible!"

"Bzzzzzt-bzzyheheheheheh... Some would see its destruction as a shame.. others see it as a travesty, an unbelievable, surreal blemish on the history of our world. . . A nightmare come true. . . I see it as a noble sacrifice! A blessing of fate, fortune, and sublime coincidence gifted to me by higher powers! The stars and planets aligned and with it the moon CAME CRASHING DOWN! I didn't even have to destroy it either, some dunderhead did it for me!"

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>>562624
"The living dead fear it, you know? The warm, gliiiiiisteeeniiiiiiiing sun? Their flesh squirms and shrivels up like burnt black bacon when exposed to its shiny, shiny rays, that's why they can't lurk about during the day.. The moon performs the same service.. bzzt-bzzyhehehehehehe..... but there is no moon these days, is there?"

"Ohhhh fuck... so that means—!"

"Bzzt-bzzyahahahahahaha! IT MEEEEEANS the cards were in my favor from the moment the moon shattered, and as long as it stays that way, my army will never stop growing!—in simpler words: I T A L L C O M E S T O G E T H E R !"

A) "More like it's all gonna come apart! Your shit ends here!"
B) "Wow, you really tied everything together.."
C) Curse your ex-buddy guy in hindsight.

>>562632
A.

>>562632
B

>>562632
C

>>562632
A

>>562632
A for lame wordplay.

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>>562632
"More like it's all gonna come apart! Your shit ends here, iPad!"

"Bzzt-bzzyehehehehe..." the dex chuckles, one of its 'hands' hovering over a particular option flashing on its screen. "On the contrary, jackamule, I like to believe that it will BEGIN here! Phase One of my operation is nearing completion, all that remains is.............."

>[Click~]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHi2TVUVQXs
"BZZZZZZZZZZRRRRT-BZZYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The piercing frequency of the Rotomdex's high-optimal laughter sets off a chain reaction that reverberates across the graveyard. Suddenly, the defeated corpses lying around you and your party begin twitching, bones rattling, flesh throbbing. What's unbearable to you is enchanting to them!

"Uuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnggghhhhhh. . !"
"Guuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnggghhhhhh. . !"
"Furururunnnnnnnnnnnnnnggghhhhhh. . !"

Serenaded by the bitter Rotom's ungodly guffawing, the vast horde of zombies you spent all evening massacring revive, forcing themselves to pull their decrepit bodies together in whatever disturbing way possible to rise up once more! In the blink of an eye, the tables turn and you find yourself vastly outnumbered!

"Haaaaaauuuunnnnnnnnnnnggghhhhhh. . !"
"Bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhnnnnnngghh. . !"
"zoooooooooommmmbiemoooooooaning. . . !"
"GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNGHHHHH. . . !"

In hindsight, they don't call them undead for nothing.

"Bzzt-bzzyahahahaha! VOILA!! The sheer power of amplified laughter! This aptitude allows me to raise the dead as many times as I please, slay them all to smithereens and my snickering will just bring them back regardless of their condition!"

"Unnnnnnnghhh. . . . Gluh ha hah haaaah. . . What's up, big boss. . . . I'm baaaaack. . . headless, but back. . . ."

"Bzzt-bzzrt! This little intervention you've planned has been lovely, but I'm afraid it's run its course! Now, relinquish the R E A L diamond princess to me at once or I'll have MUSCLES here swat you with his GIANT MAN-HAND!!"

"Uuuunnnngh. . . My name was Lickilarry when I was alive. . . . . just saying. . ."

>What do you do!?
A) Surrender da jora jora~
B) No, bitch! Take that man-hand!

>>563298
B. Put 'er there, pal!

>>563298
B on the condition that its a slap on the ass.

>>563298
B

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>>563298
"J-Jora jora.. Y.. You aren't actually planning to hand me over to that lunatic, are you oaf?!"

Diancie is the first to flock to your side as the zombies begin to surround your group. "Huh? No, of course not! I'd never do that, milady! I swore an oaf to you, as an oaf, to stay by your side for the duration of your stay, no matter what!"

"Calem," Serena breathes, her back against yours. "That's a very noble thing of you to say, but humble morality doesn't exactly get us out of this.."

"So you want me to save the life-lesson until after we're worm food? I guess that makes sense, this was never an educational adventure anyway.."

"Former shabby assistant!" Xerosic calls as he rallies alongside you. "..That kitten of yours wouldn't happen to know how to spontaneously explode, would it?"

"W-Whaaaa?! I'm not gonna sacrifice Mimi, Mr. Xerosic! She's not a running gag!"

"Nyaaaa nyaaaaa!"

"Well excuse me for attempting to brainstorm! I suppose I'll leave the spitballing to Carl then. Speaking of, Carl when are you going to come up with an idea?! They're closing in on us!"

"Huh? Why the hell is everyone suddenly lynching me for a getaway plan?!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
"BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TOLD US TO STAKEOUT!!"
"NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"

You could have gone your whole life without hearing that many people scream in your fucking ear.

"AAAAGH! Okay okay okay! I got it, I got it! Okay..planplanplanplanplanplanplanplanplanplanplanplanplanplanplanplanplanplanplanplanplanplanplanthinkingofaplanplanplanpla—GOT IT!"

You promptly ditch your party and comb your way through the horde of seemingly endless zombies until you reach 'Lickilarry' and the Rotomdex. "Okay okay! Haah...haaah...haah... swear to god all I've done this arc is run—I've made my decision!"

"Bzzrt-zzrt! So you've chosen your fate?! Alright then, out with it! Muscles, brace your man-hand in case he chooses wrong!"

"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. . . . . . it's Lickilarry. . . . . whatever. . . . ."

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>>564133
"Haah..haah...hah.. Alright——you said I either had to give you Princess Diancie or don't give and suffer this fat-tongued fuck's eternal wrath, right?"

"Uuuuuuunnnnngh. . . . . Heeey. . . . . . . . . not cool. . . . . ."

"Bzzt-bzzt, yes.. that was the proposition.. it was pretty straight-forward It's basically: 'Do you want to die or not die?'"

"Right, right! So uh, here's my decision: I swore an oath to milady, sooooo... I choose the option where I don't give you to her!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiJzOdLEK54
You turn to your party with a dopey grin and a thumbs up.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—THAT'S YOUR PLAN!?!?!?!??!"

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>>564390
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMV7oDZW-_A
"Wha?" you hum as Lickilarry paddles your ass repeatedly with his smelly meaty man-hand. "Is it not a good one?"

"NO! IT'S NOT!!!"

"I don't know, once you get past the initial sting it kind of feels like a slice of spoiled ham massaging your—"

"COME UP WITH SOMETHING BETTER!!!!!"

"Annnnd I'll get right to that!"

>Your ass can only get so cherry red before it starts internally bleeding, what do you do?!
A) Fuck it, dunk the fuck out of Lickilarry and see where things go from there. See how he likes it.
B) Propose a seedy negotiation that you can twist into a treaty. Bring it on? More like bring it off.
C) A passionate shounen speech might just make him see the error of his ways!
D) Recognize the severity of the situation and call in a Chekhov's Gun.

>>564527
D

>>564527
D

>>564390
>filename
what did he mean by this?
>>564527
D

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>>564527
"Actually.. you know what? I change my mind. I WON'T be taking the man-hand way out."

"Uunnnnnghh. . . that's disappointing. . . . ."

"Bzzt-bzzrt! What?! So you WILL be giving me the diamond princess then?! Fickle human, make up your mind before I make it up for you!"

"Ah ah ah! Hold up! I won't be taking that route either.. In fact—stay with me here—I'm going to throw in my own option: It's the one where I call in my own back-up and kick your ass to the curb."

"Zzrt-zzrrt?!!? What the hell are you talking about!? Do you even grasp the reality of the situation you're in?! I have you completely surrounded with a nigh-invincible army! I have all the bases covered, I have the home advantage, I have full control! Who could you POSSIBLY call for help right now that could have me quaking in my non-existent boots?!?"

. . .

. . .

. . .

"My dad cleaned my room recently. Remember?"

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>>564632
"I... bzzt.... I'm not liking where this is going. What are you doing, human..?"

Gently and very sensually removing yourself from Lickilarry's hold, you walk up to the dex and place a dainty finger on its screen.

"Shhh... Turn around."

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>>564679
And so, turn around it does, whereupon it comes face to face with a squishy, gooey, slimy entity that is suddenly there when it was not five seconds ago, blinking its beady eyes.

"Gooomy!~"

It stands there, doing little else but persisting with its innate innocence. This prompts the dex to turn around in confounded disbelief.

You nod back with great stoicism, as if to confirm your seriousness, and although the Rotom is not your Pokemon, you proceed to give it a single command. "Use Flash again."

And although it has no trainer and is by all technicalities a wild Pokemon, it for some reason listens to you again.

A) "CUE THE PANDORAAAAAAAA!"

>>564699
A
Slime genocide starts Friday.

>>564699
A.

>>564699
A

>>564699
A

>>564699
Oh god, is it Shauna?

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>>564699
"F-Flash..?"

>Bing! ~

"Oh... OH. Bzzrt-zzzzrt... That's... that's unsettling... oh."

"Goooooomy!~"

"Gooomagoomagoomy!~"

"Goooooooooooomomomgoomy!~"

"Googooogooygooygoomygooogoo!~"

"Goooooomigoomigoomigoomigooomy!~"

"Calem.. Where.. How did you call all these Goomys here..?"

"What do you mean 'How did I bring them here?' Goomys can only be found on Route 14! Where else was dad gonna dump them? .. Whew, I guess this is an education adventure after all.—CUE THE PANDORA!!"

"Bzzrt-zzrt?! C-Cue the what?! What's going o—?!"

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>>565370
"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMYYYYYY!"

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>>565372
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzpWJx3I2DY
"GOOMYS, ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!"

"Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmyyyyyyyyy!!~"

"Bzzt-zzrt! What?! What ARE these??!? WHERE DID THEY EVEN COME FROM!? AAAAAAAGGGGH!!"

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>>566422
If the Rotomdex for whatever reason doesn't know what the definition of 'insanity' is, it most certainly does now. Triggered by your call, a torrential riot of gooey, gummy Goomys breaks out in the graveyard, taking the zombies by storm and causing widespread mass panic amongst their ranks. With their upset comes a thunderstorm, a vivid hydrating downpour that only serves to strengthen the Goomys' resolve.

"Gooooooooom!~"

"Uuuuuuunnnnnnggghhhhhhh. . . s-send help. . !"

"Goooooo gooooo gooooommy!"

"Hunnnnnnnnngggghhh. . . . . their slime. . . . it's so thick and gelatinous. . . .!"

"Goooooooooooommyyy!"

"Uuuuuunnnnnnnggghhhh. . . . . goo h-hardening muscles. . . . . rigooooooorrr morrrrrtiiiiiiiiisssss. . . !"

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>>566429
The rampant, utterly unconstrained terror of the Goomys knows no bounds, an attribute you accredit to your father, who bred them all in your room in your absence to their maximum individual potential. The pint-sized slugs blitz out in fearsome droves, ruthlessly Body Slamming into their undead adversaries and latching onto them like leeches. Even with their unrestricted post-mortem gains, the hapless zombies are powerless at prying them off and are subjected to their slippery fury.

"GOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMY"

The Goomys spam Absorb to slurp whatever nutrients they can from their prey, before disposing them with a load of sloppy muscle-hardening mucus and a Dragon Breath to the face. Some of them just straight-up Dragon Breath without even sucking them dry.

"U-Uuuuuunnnnnnnghh. . . !"

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>>566444
"Bzzt-bzzrt! AAAAGGHH!! You cronies are pathetic! Enough of these shenanigans, NO MORE GAMES! RETALIAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!! WIPE THE FLOOR WITH THESE WAXY DEVILS AND GET ME THE DIAMOOOOND PRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINCESSSSSSSSS!!!"

"Uuuuuunnnnnnngggghhhhhh. . !"

"Gooooommyy!"

Little-You never had 'Goomys VS Zombies' written on his last of fantasy death battles, but don't look a gift horse in the mouth (especially the ones that are perpetually on-fire), right? The Rotomdex's cavalcade of carcass commandos launch an all-out counteroffensive on the slimy slugs, culminating in a war whose severity is grossly undermined by the funky grooves in the background.

Isn't it amazing to think that, for just one fleeting moment in your life, you had the authority to conduct an army of legally-bred booger dragons into committing incomprehensible degrees of hectic havoc? That's one for the books.

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>>566450
In midst of the chaos and confusion, you rally your party members and sally forth for a hasty retreat, but the Rotomdex catches you in the act. "Bzzt-zzzzrt! Not so fast! I see what you're doing——UNDEAD HEATHENS! I DON'T CARE IF IT TAKES DOGPILING THEM!! GET ME THAT DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCK!!!!!!"

A) Order the Goomys into a Bide defensive!
B) Order the Goomys into a Dragon Pulse offensive!
C) Order the Goomys into a total Muddy Water gangrape!
D) He wants the princess so bad? Fine! Rock Throw.

>>566465
C

>>566465
D
topsy turvy dropsy kurwy hallelujah

>>566465
C, bury them. Again.

>>566465
A. Take up their offer on that dogpile. See how that works out.

>>566465
C.

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>>566465
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksXKsbmthQ4
In a desperate-but-fervent bid to please the Rotomdex and not be sent crawling back to their graves, a batallion of undead Pokemon rush to his side and corner you. Lickilarry, headlessly leading the corps, steps forth to in a hapless attempt to intimidate you, but shamelessly takes a cautious step back upon seeing the Goomy squad charging in to defend you.

"Goomy goomy!"

"Uuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggghhhhhh. . . . . ." the zombie moans, attempting to reattach its head with a little elbow grease and Goomy gunk. "That's enough. . . . . No more playing around. . . . Your ballroom blitz. . . . is ballroom buuuusted. . . ."

"Laaaaaaame!"

"Gluh ha ha ha!. . . . . . Just submit already. . . . Even if you gum up our muscles. . . we'll never truly die. . . and with Priiiiincess Diancie's. . . . . . . . super sexy laugh. . . . . . we can guarantee that. . . . fooooor all the zoooooombies in the wooooorld! GLUH HA HA HA!!"

"J-Jora?! That's why they're so adamant on seizing me?! For my joras!?"

"Bzzt-bzzrrrt! MUSCLES, you incompetent mis-man-handled buffoon! It's not nice to freely give away spoilers without your superior's permission—OH WELL, DELCATTY'S OUT THE BAG NOW! Bzzyahahahaha! Ye~es, your highness! With the aid of your pristine, CRYSTALLINE laughbox, I will be able to take my talent search W O R L D W I D E !"

"What?! Now this is just getting ridiculous!"

"More like INGENIOUS! Using its infinite ethereal power, I shall amplify the frequency of my laughter so that it reverberates through EVERY. SINGLE. REGION IN THE WORLD! Every Pokemon that's ever died, every Pokemon that's ever been buried, put in a morgue, slammed in a casket, tied to a cement block and thrown in the ocean—THE DEAD FROM ALL AROUND WILL HEAR MY CALL AND RISE UP! BZZYAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Th-That's nuts!"

"No, bzzt-bzzt, IT'S SHOW BUSINESS!!!"

"Jora jora... Disgusting! OAF! I order you to dispose of these rotting monstrosities already, once dead—ALWAYS DEAD! I refuse to give those who try to cheat death the time of day!"

"Honestly, I couldn't agree more milady. GOOMY SQUAD...FUCKING FLOOD EVERYTHING WITH MUDDY WATER ON THE DOUBLE!"

"Gooooooooooommy!!"

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>>567730
For years now, world-renowned scientists have posed the biological conundrum 'Where does the muddy water in 'Muddy Water' come from?', and whether or not there exist any deeper, perhaps indecent, undertones behind it, seeing as although it's commonplace for many kinds of Pokemon to produce their own water—it shouldn't be within them to produce water that's.. inherently filthy from the getgo.

That logical dilemma need not be questioned any more after tonight—at least within the context of Goomy—because the Goomy Gang settles the age-old mystery for you. As far as their species is concerned—they sweat that shit out, and on your call sweat out a gangraping tidal wave of Muddy Water with enough chronic horsepower to drown a herd of Indian elephants. The undead Pokemon and the Rotomdex are caught and washed away in the grimy waters, but they're not alone in the crossfire.

"Everyone! Close your eyes! Pinch your nose! And don't forget to close your mou—MMFFPH"

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>>568890
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azyK4iDiM8Y
You are blindsided and consumed by the murky typhoon mid-tutorial, clumps of mud promptly begin filling, clogging, and choking your windpipes.

"glubglubglubglub. . ."

". . . . . . . . . . . ."

Rest in bananas.

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>>568897
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdofmoYcJNE

[Here Lies Calem Calemson. . . 2013-2016. . . He Left this World Much Like His Generation Did. . . . . . With Little Fanfare. . .]

"My only regret is that I didn't get to see them announce the Sound-type. . ."

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>>568968
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPGcpIXeA-4
"WAIT A MINUTE!" you snap back to consciousness while simultaneously hacking out bits and chunks of mud. "I can't be dead, I still haven't saved the day at the cost of thousands of dollars in collateral damage yet!"

As the Muddy Water dissipates and the scene clears, you and your party are left flopping on land like fish—and yet it's still a better fate than the undead's, all of which are buried under it.

"Uuuuuunnnnnnnnnggggghhh. . . . . This mud . . . . I can't get out!"

"Huuuunnngghh. . . It's too tightly packed!"

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggg. . . . . . . I know I said I didn't want to be put back in the ground. . . . . . . . but this is ridiculous!"

"Bzzt-bzzrt! ZZRT ZZRT ZZRRT!" the Rotomdex shoots out of a mound of mud, discharging heavy sets of sparks in the process. It twitches and jerks erratically, its inner-mechanical workings doused with sediments and saltwater. "BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! WHAT A CHEAP SHOT THAT WAS!" it screeches at an eerily-distorted pitch. "You literally drowned yourself just to make a comeback!! DESPICABLE!"

"But it worked, didn't it?" you retort with a smirk that is undercut by how drastically soaked you are. "Your zombies are swamped in muck and immobile! It's just you and us now!"

"Gluh ha ha ha. . . . . . . . . defeated by bright-eyed improvisation. . . . . . . . . . . and deemed useless. . . . . . . . . no one could have predicted this outcome! Unnnnngh. . . . . . . . ."

A) This calls for the greatest Chekhov's Gun of them all!

>>570177
A.

>>570177
A

>>570177
A.

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>>570177
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zw0wF7_x9Go
"Quick milady! Let's finish this while they're pinned down!!"

"J-Jora? M-Me? D-Do not be foolish, oaf! You have an arsenal of fully-capable fighters on-hand—what could a lady such as myself possibly do against these creatures beyond blinding them?!"

"That's just it, milady! I know how to defeat them now, it took me not-dying to realize it, but I get it! It's just like I said earlier, you hold the key to ending this, you always have! The power was inside you the whole time!"

"Jora jora.. I.. I don't understand! What are you saying, oaf?!"

"That spark you've been searching for since you came here, milady, the one that'll revitalize the Heart Diamond .. I think I know how to acquire it now.. and it's going to take you and me pooling our power together!"

"Eh?! But how!? With what?!"

"Don't you r e m e m b e r ?"

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>>570707
———————————————————————————————————————————
>"IS NOT TOP QUALITY! You pay for broken Things & Stuff! MORE DEBTS!"

>You were forced to buy an Expensively Useless Stone!

>"That damn Russian cockmongler.. I can't believe he made pay every last thing of remote value in my pockets for the one piece of merchandise that wasn't completely damaged."

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>>570745
———————————————————————————————————————————
"You said my Key Stone didn't have good enough energy, right?" you ask as you retrieve the Not-Really-Useless-After-All Stone from your inventory. "I figured these colors looked a little bit like yours.."

"Jora jora?!"

"Calem! I-Is that—?!"

"So why don't we charge it ourselves!"

>OH FUCK ARE WE ACTUALLY MEGA EVOLVING SON?
A) Activate Moon Prism Pooooooooower!!
B) No, we have to stick to the status quuuuoooo!

>>570758
A nigga

>>570758
A. It's time.

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>>570758
"Jora jora joraaa... Jooooooooooooooooraaaaaaaaaaaa jora jora!~ You know something, oaf? That may just be the smartest idea you've had all day! Alright then, you have my full support! Let our hearts resonate to the fullest!"

"Okie dokey! Lemme just fwoosh all the dust off this ring first... man it's dustier than my Wii U amirite ladies and gentleman WUBBALUBBADUBDUB—OKAY! Let's see if I remember how to do this from enviously watching others do it all the time!"

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>>570857
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cy2OsQ5wHiY
"Key Stone, respond to my heart!"

"BEYOND EVOLUTION!!"

"MEGA EVOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLVE!!!"

"Moon Prism Poooooooooower!!"

"Maximum Jora!!!"

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>>571075
"I-I.. It's working! She's transforming!"

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>>571085
"Wooooah, so pretty!"

"Nyaa nyaaaa!"

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>>571095
"So this is the diamond princess' infinite power! I.. I want to enjoy it, bask in it.. but it's too scientifically overwhelming! GAAAAAAAHH! MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!!"