Scrumptious Calem and Kuudere Serena's Tubular Voyage Part

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>>481395
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UZWTF3VWh4
Even with the sandstorm nearing its dying phases, keeping track of the two is nigh impossible. All you can make out are multiple raging blue flares soaring—zigzagging across the field with zero coherence. Every time it seems like one is going to connect with the other, it fizzles out and misses.

On the upside, it does make for a good show. You've never seen Dragon Rush used this continually before. It's different, not odd different but good different, like it has its own ethereal kind of beauty to it. The way the vibrant, azure flares mystically dance upon the gritty terrain—had this been any other day you'd swear it was a fireworks show.

And like all firework shows, it always ends with a climactic finale.

"HAAAW!!!"

"FLLLLYYY!!!!"

A penultimate surge of adrenaline pulses through Luchy and Flygon, one that stokes the flames of their auras to unprecedented magnitudes. Fueled by this, the pair retreat to opposite ends of the field, pause to exchange sharp looks—then charge at each other with one final rush.

"CHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

"GOOOOOOONNNNN!!!"

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>>481408
The two soar across the arena like living cannonballs, their auras cutting a clean path through the sandstorm. Although Flygon closes the distance between the two, it's Luchy who settles the score between them. The hawk locks claws and skull with the antlion, swiftly rivaling its raw power and ultimately surpassing it. This table-turning is reinforced by Luchy's aura slowly engulfing that of its opponent's.

"F-Fly.....nngh...g-gon!"

Signs of fatigue begin to burden Flygon as it loses the will to prolong the inevitable. Refusing to substitute pride for defeat, the antlion attempts with all its might to give it its all, to give one final push for the sake of everything it and its trainer stand for—

"Cha."

And then Luchy ends it by sentencing them both to an explosive grave.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfMwcMFE7gc
"Agh! Luchy!!"

The dual Dragon Rushes erupt in an explosion of overwhelming aura that tears through the battlefield, overriding the sandstorm in the process. Your asshole clenches to the nth degree and even Melisma begins to show signs of concern, but neither you nor he are prepared for the outcome of the turn.

".....C-Cha.....chaaa..."

"......Gon......gonnn..."

"Woah.."

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>>481422
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6cuwWdhNcY
>The sandstorm subsided. . .

The dust finally clears, and miraculously—both Pokemon manage to withstand the lethal blow, but the endurance comes at a price. Neither of them can stand to move a muscle, both on their last legs, barely holding onto a single hit point.

And then, your luck runs cold.

>Luchy flinched!

"Ch-Cha!"

Luchy submits to the burning pain in his chest and falls to one knee. His aura completely peters out—and victory never felt so far away.

>Turns Left: 1
A) Surrender! If you can't attack now of all times, you're done for!
B) Gamble against unfavorable odds! You can do it!

>>481444
B

>>481444
A.

>>481444
A. The last time we pushed too far, we lost someone important. Surrender this battle and survive to fight another day. We can win back Diance when we're better prepared.

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>>481444
With the dust storm dispersing, those ravaged and overwhelmed by the initial kitty cat combustion begin to pick themselves up from ruination and in most cases—run for their fucking lives. Those morbid enough to stay behind begin to crowd around you and Melisma in droves, no doubt curious in the stalemate and the enigmatic man that instigated it.

"Whoa, who's that?"

"Don't you know? That's the masked man!"

"The one from the news?"

"Is he with the larcenists? Does he lead them!?"

"That other guy, i-is he trying to fight him? What a madman! He can't win!"

"No, hold on... I-I think they're evenly matched!"

"Isn't that our new champion?"

"Is he? I don't know him."

"I thought he'd be a lot taller!"

"Forget about him! L-Look at the masked dude, he.. he has Princess Diancie!"

"Princess Diancie—but how?!"

"Literal madman! Put him away! Throw away the key! Give the princess back to meeee!!"

Gossip, rumors, and hearsay begin to pile up as the crowd grows in numbers. No one is truly sure what's really going on, but they know it must not be good if it required a whole café to be destroyed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5KCo8CWF0Y
"Calem! There you ar—Oh..?"

"Phooox!"

From this assumption-heavy crowd emerges Serena, paired with her Delphox and still dressed in titillating dancer garb. Evidently she must have been using the vixen's fiery scepter as a way to pierce through the storm. "S-Serena! It's you! Thank goodness! I-I mean, I knew you were alright of course, it's just—"

"A little dust never deterred anyone if that's what you were implying. Glad to see you as well.~ Now, what's all this then? I knew I heard a commotion amongst all this soot and smoke, but I wasn't expecting this.."

"Take a wild guess, Mr. Mystery-Man is more than meets than eye.."

"Ch-Cha....."

As you catch Serena up, your eyes dart back to Luchy and his current condition. It's a hard truth, but a truth nonetheless: he's flinched. Unless another miracle happens, your hands are tied, you can't in good conscience force the luchador to go another round at this rate, he can barely hold himself in the game as is.

"Haw.....h-haw.......chaaaaa......."

While proving yourself to Melisma is an important goal—and one you still very well still intend on carrying out—pushing too far can lead to old mistakes, mistakes you've long-since promised yourself to never repeat again. Ones that—with your new title—you can't afford to make again.

"He has the princess in-hand.. and after he went out of his way to rescue you last night.. I see.."

Serena turns to you, now conscious of Melisma's true colors. "Calem.. What do you plan to do?"

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>>482526
Part of being a trainer—a good trainer, the kind that everyone looks up to—means being able to finish what you start, even in the face of adversity, fear, or the greatest of odds.

Contrary to popular belief, that's not the whole of it though—strength isn't everything, balance is. Sometimes sheer force alone isn't enough to jump the hurdle, sometimes you have to be smart enough—man enough to not only acknowledge when you're on the losing end of a battle, but also accept and concede to the defeat that comes with it. It's a sting on your record, but a greater fate than risking it all and coming out of it downtrodden with more than just an unconscious friend.

"What do you plan to do?"

You plan to survive—survive to fight another day. In a way, you aren't really giving up. You aren't submitting. You are going to close the book on this chapter. You are going to finish what began here. You've been doing this for nearly three years—and in that time, so many monsters, demons, and mythical cross-dimensional whozits have given life and limb just for a chance to throw themselves at you in some vain attempt to stop you in your tracks. And every time—they get dickslapped, some more literally than others.

With just a little more prep time, this won't be any different.

And so you throw your hands in the air, and to the shock of the crowd, bluntly admit to your shortcomings.

"I forfeit."

"Luchaa!

As if spurned by that comment and what it signifies, a sharp pain shocks Luchy's body, and he plummets to the cobblestone ground—conscious, but exhausted.

Mere moments away from calling forth a devastating finisher, Melisma freezes in place and lowers his arm. Flygon drops to the ground, pressured to the core, unsure if it could finish the fight even with victory practically handed to it.

A) "For now, I mean. This isn't over."
B) "I admit it. I'm spent. My hands are tied. You beat me. You win."
C) "It'd be senseless to carry on, you've already made your point."
D) "You definitely don't joke around, huh?"

>>483407
B.

>>483407
C.

>>483407
D

>>483407
A
Wait, doesn't this mean that Melisma is the champion now?

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>>483614
Good gut-wrenching plot point but we're just going to say this match wasn't "official", no Kalosian badges, or Elite Four wins on his hand :^)

>>483407
The tie was randomized.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TVppBwVsOA
Melisma calls off the antlion and makes no further move, soundlessly indicating that he has accepted your submission. You can't help but breathe a sigh of relief, hoping that it means he's beginning to see eye-to-eye with you.

"It'd be senseless to carry on," you explain, feeling like you owe it to him. "You've already made your point. I gave it my best shot, I'm sure you did too, but someone had to come out on top, and I guess it just wasn't me this time."

To say the crowd is merely gossiping would be an understatement at this point—they're in an uproar. Shocked, baffled that some man—some masked man who nobody's ever heard of before—is able to not only pressure the Champion of the region, but also coerce him into surrendering, beating him by a nose hair. Really, the only denizen reasonable enough to respect your decision is Serena.

"I'd rather back out now and accept that truth, then pointlessly waste it on an avoidable outcome. I hope you can respect that."

A) "I want you to know something though."
B) Tell the townies to piss off.
C) "I've got nothing more to say to you, chum. Not now anyway."

>>483745
A.

>>483745
I guess..
A

>>483745
B.

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>>483745
"Gah! I'm free!" Looker exclaims as he, rather unceremoniously, bursts out of a pile of rubble and debris. "F-Finally! I felt as if I'd be trapped there forever and—huh?"

The investigator stills his tongue as he realizes—belatedly—that he is among a festering wave of townies, and that none of them are interested in a scruffy dick like him. "Unhelpful locals, nothing new there.. And just what are they all so focused on? I seem to be finding more and more reason to need some sort of secretary. . ."

Looker does manage to captivate a few gazes by absurdity alone, but it's not long before that minority returns to gawk at the confrontation unwinding before them. With your point made clear, you cross the field and make your way to Luchy, stretching that final hit point for pretty much all its worth.

"Lu...lu.....chaa...."

You lend the luchador a hand, which he doesn't shy from taking. After helping him up, you place a hand on his shoulder. "I know, I'm a bit peeved too."

"Lucha, luchaa.. hawcha!"

Luchy kicks the ground, severely tense and on-edge from the blow of such a narrow loss. If it weren't for that last minute flinch proc... "It's alright, really. These things happen. I understand, you know I do. You did your best, and that's what counts. Don't let it get to you."

"Haw....hacha hawcha....."

"I know you could have finished it, but sometimes luck just isn't on our side. I didn't want you to push yourself, 'specially with.... your age."

"Lucha.."

"Sorry, I.. hate to put it like that. Listen, we'll talk about it later, for now you need a rest. Return."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OORDWT89XI8
Luchy shuts his eyes and accepts the call to return. With him treated, you turn your attention to Melisma, and tune out the cries and clamor of the crowd surrounding you. "And as for you.."

"I want you to know something."

>>484322
>one of these days, Luchy isn't going to wake up

hold me

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>>484322
You grip the brim of your cap, glaring at the masked man in such a way he can't possibly ignore. "As soon as I prepare myself, I'm coming after you. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but we are going to finish this right."

". . ."

"I only faltered today because I chose to care more about my friend than the battle, and I know without a doubt that was the right choice to make. My friends are my power, and I value them over my own self. I'm honestly not sure if that's something you understand, but it doesn't matter to me if you do or don't. Just know that the next time we meet.."

"Your dick is getting slapped."

A) Break through to him.
B) Let him run, you can crack him wide-open next time.

>>484654
B. We can let him stew over what happened here before we open a can of monologue on his ass later on.

>>484654
A

>>484654
A

>>484654
B

>>484654
A

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>>484654
Something you said must have gotten through to him again (hopefully not the part where you directly reference your sweaty man-sausage), because what he does next completely throws you and the eavesdropping crowd for a loop.

"..."

The cold glare behind his visor loosens.

". . ."

He takes one look at the delirious Diamond Princess.

". . ."

And then throws her straight at you. A literal Rock Throw.

"W-Woah, wha—HUH!? AAAAAAAAAHHH!"

A) Dodge her!
B) Catch her!
C) Hit her!
C) BAM. Right in-between the eyes.

>>485249
B
>8.8kg
We got this.

>>485249
B, even if we get BTFO in the process Diancie will hopefully appreciate the effort

>>485249
>B) Catch her!
And if we manage it fumble a bit and drop her on her head! "Oh, I'm am so sorry, I am a clumsy man!"

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>>485249
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTMqiWq-HUw
"M-Milady! Wait, hold on! I-I've got yo—GAAH!"

It's a close save, but you manage to dive and catch the princess and her nineteen pounds of boulder bosom before she hits the ground. You're a bit scuffed up, but it's more than worth it.

"Hah... hah..." you breathe heavily, only to snap and realize why you caught her to begin with. "Hey! What the hell was that for?! You could have hurt her! What's your problem Melis—"

Your breath hitches.

"............ma?"

Nothing but dead air.

Just like that—gone. The townies are just as flabbergasted, all of them having focused on the well-being of the princess over the brigand. If anything, it speaks volumes about his stealth capabilities, he literally vanished in broad daylight in a crowd alongside a fully-grown antlion.

All that's left to prove he had been there at all is a single, diminutive tidbit—a tag that daintily falls from the sky, either inadvertently dropped or intentionally left by the masked man.

"Huh..?"

You scramble to get a hold of the note, but before you get a chance to skim its contents, the princess in your hands begins to stir.

Diancie stirs in her delusion, barely able to make out the blobby shape that is you staring right back at her. "Nngh....mmh.....muhh..... Five more minutes, Dace.. I don't even have.... my face on.... yet...."

Then, her eyes flicker open.

"Hm....? Oaf....?"

"M-Milady...? Yeah, it's me, are you alri—"

Then, her behavior settles in.

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>>485357
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
"Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! Get your hands of of me—We've been OVER this!"

"G-Gah! Wait! Hold on! I-It's not what you thin—NONONNONONO—NOT ROCK TOMB AGAIN!!"

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>>485362
———————————————————————————————————————————
"Just who was that guy?"

"I don't know! But he's got the champ quakin' in his boots!"

"Sheesh, did you see the look on his face? Petrified!"

"He actually forfeited! The madman!"

"Someone even stronger than the champion?!"

"And why did he want the princess?"

"I'm just glad she's okay!"

"Anyone else want to go for tapas after this?

"Hrm... Hazily-dressed men with hazy moves and even hazier motives? My word, that is intriguing! It would seem this faceless friend-or-foe has more to do with our overarching conspiracy than we previously presumed. Quite the twist of events indeed.."

As the crowd of commoners begin to disperse and return to flicking balls on a touchscreen, you and the rest of your party regroup in the ruins of the café, where Looker takes the liberty of abridging the details picked up from the enigmatic encounter. "Mm.. I wish I could feel even the slightest sliver of excitement for the breakthrough we've made here.. but I can't shake the feeling that this man has left us with far more questions than answers. Namely—that if this were an equation, then he is a variable whose number I can't for the life of me determine."

A) "Er, in English please?"
B) "I've noticed he's been kinda contrarian.."
C) "Really? I think he's our prime suspect, what's not to get?"
D) "Listen, this may sound nuts.. but I don't think he's our guy."

>>485425
D

>>485362
D.

>>485425
B
Typical for chinner

Good thing we're not on /vp/ anymore, otherwise this'd be a one way trip to Page 10 right about now :^)

Anywho, >>485425 D

reminder that our greninja is superior

>>484346
At least we know he'll go to Pokeheaven.

>>485425
>A) "Er, in English please?"
I thought we spoke Kalosian?
Anyway, D.

>>485663
We said we wanted to see Hexcalibur again

turns out its Luchy who's going to meet him

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>>485425
So far, there are few things Melisma has done that have made much—if any—sense. And as a matter of fact, that's primarily the basis for why you're so doubtful about him being the one behind all of this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q02RUvi1Z4Q
"Variable whose number you can't....what?" you echo. "Er, yeah.. I'll just take it from here.. Listen guys, I know this may sound nuts.. especially since he was just here causing havoc and mass panic a few minutes ago, but.. I don't think Melisma's our guy."

"What?"

"Gah! The twist of fate rears its abominable head once more, twice within the same hour!... wait, but how?"

"Yeah, you heard me, hermano! Your equation's not only inaccurate, it's incomplete!" you exclaim with a dramatic deduction-worthy finger point. "It's a wild hunch, I may be completely off-the-mark in suggesting this—but I was right about the stupid GO stuff, wasn't I? Who's to say I'm not on a streak with the leads here? See, here's why I'm doubtful—"

"Jora jora jor—AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!?!!?!?!?!?" Diancie shatters your argument with an ear-piercing jora of shock and scorn birthed straight from the deepest abyss. Fuming with unbridled petulant rage, the diamond princess throws herself at you. "Nononononononon—AAGH!"

"What do you mean that fell scoundrel is INNOCENT!?!?!?!" she cries as she beats on your chest with her little fists. "What kind of oaf-approved investigation IS this?!?!? The evidence is right in front of you, you blinded buffoon! That.. that... SKEEVY LOUT attempted to capture me! You saw it! And who knows what else he could have done had he succeeded?! How is that not larceny?! How is it not attempted assassination!?? Put him away, I say! Throw away the key! OFF WITH HIS DEGENERATIVE HEAD!!!"

A) "M-Milady, please! My quarter-half abs are delicate!"
B) "If he was really bad he wouldn't have let you go!"
C) "I'm just not getting that big bad feeling from him! Ow!"
D) "The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence!"

>>485691
>B) "If he was really bad he wouldn't have let you go!"
>>485667
>Implying Hexcalibur's really dead
NO

>>485691
B.

>>485637
If Calem fought Alain he would get schlonged hard and then he would steal Serena and she would get schlonged even harder.

>>485691
D

>literally my mom's bowser

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Turtonator is fucking top tier.
>>485691
"Nghh! Wait! Stop! Milady! That's my—AGH!—If he was really bad he wouldn't have let you go!"

You don't mean to snap at Diancie, but it's the only way to get her to stop her flailing and wailing, and indeed—her tantrum stops dead in its tracks as she arrives at the same conclusion. "JORAJORAJORAJORAJORAJORAJORAJORAJORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LOCK HIM UP LOCK HIM UP LOCK HIM UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU—........uuuuup...?"

The princess' fists slow to a crawl and settle upon your flaccid nipples. The unadulterated shades of fury drain from her blinking face, and are exchanged for ones of enlightened bewilderment. "Hn...?"

"Forgive me, milady.." you begin softly, pausing briefly to shift out of that uncomfortable position. "I.. er.. failed to rescue you. I may have talked him into it, but nevertheless.. If it wasn't for his mercy, you'd.. probably still be with him right now."

". . . That is utterly preposterous! What in the world would convince a lout like him to relinquish me so easily?!?!?! Jora jora jora!!"

A) "If you only knew.."
B) "Maybe he had more important things to worry about?"
C) "I know, right? All I told him was to watch out for his dick.."
D) "That's what we're trying to find out, milady!"

>>485920
C

>>485724
Alain wouldn't participate without Ash
He literally dug his own grave.
Fuck nips.
If Serena gets shoved aside too, XY will drop lower than BW.
At least the latter was consistent
>>485920
D

>>485920
B

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>>485920
The tie was randomized.
"Erm.. Maybe he had more important things to worry about?" you sheepishly suggest, a hand scratching at the back of your neck.

"Not exactly a high bar to surpass.."

"Hm.. Y-Ye—Yes!" Diancie nods with a deluding sense of self-assurance. "That's it! He merely had higher priorities, and so he initiated a hasty retreat in order to attend to them and—"

She pauses, before fuming once more.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
"Wait a minute.. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN ABDUCTING THE PRINCESS OF THE DIAMOND DOMAIN?!??!!?!?!? Never have I felt more offended, so transgressed, so violated! OAF! I demand you to force that masked marauder to kidnap me again!! I refuse to let such a brigand get the last laugh!!"

"W-Woah woah woah! L-Let's not get hasty and say things we might regret later now! L-Listen milady, it's been a long day, we've been all over town—which as a healthy reminder was an enlightening experience for us all—let's just take a comfy walk and cool down.... seriously though we need to get out of here before someone realizes I'm responsible for blowing this café to smithereens.."

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>>486252
———————————————————————————————————————————
["A STREET ON ITS LAST LAUGHS" — SOUTH BOULEVARD, LUMIOSE CITY]
You are fortunately, not charged and escorted away by police for blowing up the café to kingdom come, nor do you envy the person that's going to be pinned with the blame. Far from the smoldering scene of the encounter, you and your party congregate on the streets of South Boulevard, night looming on the horizon.

"There's just way too many things we do and don't know about all of this.. I mean, it's easy to look at it from a broad perspective and say: 'Well uhhh duhhhh there's a conspiracy undermining the town and at the same time there is also a masked asshole running around cracking skulls, so clearly the two are related', and you know, they might just be, but not in the way that we think.."

"This wouldn't happen to be your sixth sense acting up again, would it?"

"Yeah, but more than just that. When we fought.. I talked to him, he may not have responded much, but I got a feel, like a vague interpretation of just what kind of person he really was under the mask.. and it wasn't evil. Now that I think about it, he must have realized that I knew that too.. definitely by the time I surrendered."

"So he isn't the grand architect behind this conspiracy? Fair enough, junior detective! From one sleuth to another, your logic is as sound as ever!" says Looker. "However! This in no way absolves him of being an accomplice—a pawn to the true villain! From this point forth—we must leave virtually no stone unturned!"

A) "That's what I figure too, poor guy must have fallen down the wrong path.."
B) "'True villan'? Man. Every time it feels like we know more and more, and really, we're just back to square one.."
C) "Kind of hard to unturn stones when we're out of leads again, detective."

>>486994
C.

>>486994
A

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>>486994
The tie was randomized.
"That's what I figured too, poor guy must have fallen down the wrong path.."

"Or," Diancie begins as she haughtily hops ahead of the group. "You're severely overthinking things, and the fell path he's taken.. is one he chose to walk willingly, jora jora jora~"

"That.. could also be true. I want to believe otherwise, though. Like I said—I tore down his facade, I really rattled him, and for a short moment, I got a glimpse of who he was.. or if you're right, who he once was.. and that glimpse.. just didn't resonate with how he seemed on the surface. There's something.. something he doesn't want us to see.."

"Blehh.. You guys must think I sound stupid right now, but that's how I feel.. Speaking squarely though, it's these unknowns and vague uncertainties that we do know that have me doubting what we've seen and experienced. Like... How does this all connect to the zombies? The night raids? What the hell would he want with a thousand or so pedestrian laughboxes? Why specifically only the laughboxes of people who play a trashy mobile fad? How does the princess fit into all of this? Why would he try to seize her but then give her up after I fed him a monologue I came up with on the spot? So does he really not need her? Or does he have something more important than her to worry about? Why rescue me from zombies and then try to off me half a day later? If he's not opposed to killing the undead, then maybe he's not affiliated with them? But if he's not affiliated with them, then can we even say he works for the big bad? Is he just on his own? But then what's his deal? Or maybe he just wants us to think he's good by sniping a few zombies, then catching us by surprise? But.. but.. but... I have a butt.."

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>>487674
"GAAAAAAAAHHHHH I FEEL LIKE WE'RE RUNNING IN GODDAMN CIRCLES!! THIS WHOLE CASE HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT A WILD ZANGOOSE CHASE OF LOOSELY FITTING IOTAS AND MY HEAD'S ABOUT TO EXPLODE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'VE NEVER FELT MORE LOST AND INSECURE!!

"DOES NOBODY KNOW A SINGLE GODDAMN THING ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS TOWN!?!??!?!?! I IMAGINE WE'D GET SOME ANSWERS IF THEY COULD STOP LOOKING AT THEIR PHONES!!"

A) Calm down, you big baby. Take a deep fucking breath. It's just post-game, bro.
B) Deploy waifu reassurance and back-up, this is an emergency.
C) Fall to the ground and lament your clueless troubles in a bout of complete and utter despair.
D) Sit on the nearest bench Keanu-style and rant about how much you dislike technology.

>>487690
B for deer filling.

>>487690
A.

>>487690
D

>>487690
>B) Deploy waifu reassurance and back-up, this is an emergency.

So we're catching Crabrawler right?

>>487690
D
New world coming is truly curious.
And I absolutely don't fancy what's going on.

>>487690
B

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Literally Rocky: the crab, I like it
>>487690
"I IMAGINE WE'D GET SOME ANSWERS IF THEY COULD STOP LOOKING AT THEIR PHONES AND PAY ATTENTION TO THE SHIT THAT'S HAPPENING AROUND THEM!! DOES NO ONE CARE?! DOES NO ONE CARE THAT THE WORLD IS CHANGING, WHAT IS SOCIETY COMING TO?!?!? IT'S...IT'S..."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
"..It's all meaningless, who cares.. Marketers lie, consumers buy, people die, and nobody's ever known the wiser... they fall for it and they'll keep falling for it.. every new gimmick.. Every shoeless indie interview... Every hyped-up marketing campaign for a serial cartoon that ends in yet another loss.... What is this nu-world coming to? Why are people just getting dumber? Stupider? Why? WHY?"

"WHY ARE THESE MILLENNIALS SACRIFICING CONTROL FOR EASE OF USE?!?!?! AAAAAAAAAAAAGH..........hah.... hah.... hah...... What's the point of being a hero if nobody ever notices it..?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvAdWycGgnI
"Unnnnnnnnnnnnghhhhh......."

The diamond princess' influence on you must be an absolute kind of damning for you to throw a tantrum with such despondent severity that it rivals even her own. Fortunately, you're very lucky to have a woman able to pick you up out of even the deepest, darkest, most depressing of ditches. She arrives, as scheduled, to place a comforting hand on your shoulder.

"Hey,"

You mumble a vague, grumbling, elderly slur in response.

"....hrmrmmmrngnghh..."

"Are you alright?"

A) "Do I look alright to you?"
B) "....I don't like change.."
C) "I'm breathing..."
D) *grumble grumble grumble*

>>488275
D.

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>>488275
"....hrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmrmmmrnnnnnnnghh..." you grumble again, stubborn enough but also loud enough for her (and only her) to comprehend.

"Hm.. Well, stop it. You're making a scene."

Your body jerks, cringing as if stabbed in the heart. "....nnnnngrrrrrrrnnnnggghhhhh...."

"The Calem Calemson I know wouldn't sit around and sulk like a child."

A) "...You don't really know me that well then.."
B) "..He would if he realized he was stuck between a rock and a hard place.."
C) ".. I just don't know what to do, I've got the headache of a lifetime right now..."
D) "Just leave me here.. it's almost nighttime, let the zombies get to me.. I'm not going to laugh anymore anyway..."

>>488431
C.

>>488431
D

>>488431
D.

>>488431
D

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>>488431
"Yes he would. Just leave me here.. it's almost nighttime, let those rotting, pus-spewing zombies get to me.. I'm not going to laugh anymore anyway..."

"You don't play Go, you'll be fine. You also need a laughbox in order to let me know if my sense of humor is improving, so I won't have you losing it."

"....You're just saying that to guilt trip me.."

"Funny, I thought I was the one adept at reading others.. Honestly butterfingers, pick yourself up. I think I know you well-enough to know that you'll bounce back from this. Conspiracies are meant to be confounding."

".....nnnnggghhh...... Not so confounding that we end up running in circles for two days straight.. Just face it, the world is advancing and it's leaving us behind... What's the point? Nobody even cares that they're unable to laugh anymore, I bet they have an app that simulates it for them.."

"mmmmmrnnngh... You know how they say a Pokemon reflects its trainer? I.. I didn't use the word.. but I called Luchy old earlier... when really, as it turns out... I'm the one who's old and doddering..."

You suddenly flinch from the feel of her finger flicking at your forehead. "Ow, hey! What was that for?"

"Hm. I thought that would snap you out of it. Now I'm wondering if a lollipop would have been a better alternative."

A) "A lollipop would be nice.."
B) "I could use a motivational massage right now.."
C) Flick her back. Rude.

>>488778
B

>>488778
B

>>488778
C. Sometimes even best girls have to know their place

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>>488778
"Well.. now that you mention it.. I could use a motivational massage right now.."

"An admirable attempt, but no. Later. Not out in the open. Besides, did you not make it clear that night was on the horizon? We're far too strapped for time for me to kneading your shoulders."

"W-Wha!? Ehehe~, d-did I say it was getting dark? W-What I meant to say was.. it's getting.... bark.... like a Growlithe.. it's a new saying! All the millennials are trending i—!"

"Calem."

"Okay, okay! I'm up, I'm up! Geez! Talk about actually blaming the guy for trying.. Bahh, I guess you're right, even if I am at a complete loss—I can't lose hope now. Even if they don't notice it, the friendless phone-fanatics of this city are counting on us to protect their smiles!. . . erm, thanks, Serena."

"You needn't mention it. Slapping a touch of sense into you every now and then happens to be one of my most valued professions."

"Hmph.. Still wish I had an incentive that didn't have to wait until four in the morning though.."

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>>489844
"Hm? Incentive? What ever for? I don't see why you would need any more of it when the answer is right in front of you. Or did you already forget?"

"Eh.. forget? Now you've lost me."

Serena steps forward, and without hesitation, daintily rummages through your bottomless inventory. "H-Hey, hey, hey! W-Watch it! Y-You can't just comb your soft fingers through a man's hammerspace! D-Don't you know there are people online w-who... who fetishize that?!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZWXHK0s5Dg
Serena pays little heed to your flushed face and instead retrieves the something-something she had been searching for—the dropped tag. "Did you not recover this from Melisma earlier?"

"Huh..?—Oh fuck! You're right, I did! I thought it was just the guy's suit size so I didn't bother going CSI on it, I'm not even sure if he really 'dropped' it either... er, why do you ask? Is there something on it?"

"That's what I intend to find out. Intentionally placed or not, a clue is a clue."

With the tag in her hands, Serena leans closer and squints to read the small text printed upon it.

". . ."

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>>490126
". . ."

"! Wh-What?! N-No! Th-This.. This can't be possible! I thought.. I thought we.."

"W-Wha?! What's it say!?

"Jora jora jora~ It must have been a bombshell for her to react so wildly, a rare sight indeed! Jora jora~"

"Please junior detective, spare the suspense! Time is of the essence, what fell operation is this man planning?!"

Serena stares at the slip of paper, eyes wide, and ultimately shakes her head.

". . . Calem, this is.. rather personal to me. Please.. if you could read it for yourself.. I'm sure you'd feel it too."

A) Better now than never, right?
B) S-Suddenly I'm not so interested in knowing this guy's size anymore..

>>490249
A

>>490249
A. We gotta know if he's a big guy or not.

>>490249
A.

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>>490249
She may have been joshing, but the princess has a point—as much as you hate to second the opinion of anyone that derides your wife—for all her beauty and intellect, Serena isn't exactly the most emotive person you know (certainly not as dramatically bombastic as you), for something to truly shake her up—must be something out of this world.

With some apprehension, you slowly inch toward the tag, and take it from her hands.

And then, you read it, but no amount of shaky hand movements could ever prepare you for the damning words your eyes stumble upon.

"Size — Too Big For You . . . Machine Wash Only. . . Gentle Cold. . . Line Dry. . . Warm Iro—"

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>>490539
"Pro....Property of.......L-LYSANDRE LABS INCORPORATED™©®?!!?!?!?"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?"

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>>490568
M-masaka?

>>490568
I recognize that doujin

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>>490673
What about this one?

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>>490568
[Meanwhile, in Side-Character Purgatory. . . ]

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>>490885
———————————————————————————————————————————
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkaKbUokgbY
"Mrm... and what exactly is the appeal of this game?"

"Oh, good question! You uh.. You... erm... w-well if you've ever got the hiccups, it's a fantastic cure-all!"

"I see.. and the people of Lumiose enjoy playing this?"

"Oh definitely, for sure! I tell ya, they can't get enough of it! It's not just the strategic part of it either, something about willingly getting the bejeezus scared outta them—it's like an aphrodisiac! It's sold thousands of copies, has tons of successful sequels and spin-offs, hell it's even getting a goddamn movie—it's a hit with the degenerate demographic!"

"Mrmm... Those are interesting numbers, but I've one question."

"What's that now?"

"If it's such an enlightening experience, why are we watching someone play it rather than playing for it ourselves?"

"Oh! Well see, playing the actual game is boring. In fact, I hate games, I am not a gamer, yet 94% of my voters are—it's much more fun watching someone else play! I'm mostly just in it for how they freak ou—"

>'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH OH SHIT OOH SHIIIIT!!!'

"Awh, see!? Like that! Look at his face, look at his face!"

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>>490932
". . . With all due respect mayor, you've done nothing but shown me public domain nursery rhymes, obnoxious pranks in urban towns, and dated 'video entertainment' from 'celebrities' who I've never heard of."

"Yeah, and? Oh! Did you want to see any top ten countdowns? How about 107 Facts about your favorite TV show?"

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>>490940
"Yuuuuuuun-yuuuuun goosu goosu goosu........"

Evidently Trumpgoos is not a fan of today's brand of toxic youth culture and is certainly in no mood to attempt to understand it. With its dignity and incredibly short attention-span intact, the rodent scrambles out of the mayor's lackadaisical hold in search of greener pastures.

"Goosu goosu gooosu..."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBKSMqEzIpE
"Gooooosu.....

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>>491311
Despite having just consumed a buffet and then some ten minutes ago, the rodent's perpetually-insatiable appetite returns. Cold shivers and a sinking feeling ravage Trumpgoos' body as its stomach yearns for something to eat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBKSMqEzIpE
"Goosuuuu......"

To its unfortunate dismay, the mayor has zero knowledge of the sheer devotion and responsibility it takes to raise a Yungoos, and attempted no research on the subject prior to importing one. The result is a rodent who is seldom-fed (by Yungoos standards), maybe, two or three times a day?

"Yun-yuuun goosugooosu.."

Whatever the number is, what matters is that it's not one that satisfies. Now in search of something to snack on, the rodent sneaks off, heading to the one place it knows the mayor stashes food.

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>>491332
"Goosuuu goosu! Yahahahahaha!!"

The mayor keeps a bowl of these things on his desk, right out in the open. Just like the rodent itself, they're imported from another region, and hold a different, more pristine flavor compared to the ones found here. They're supposed to be for visitors, but..

It's not like he'll miss one, would he?

A) 'You're right, go ahead! Yum yum yum~'
B) 'No, don't do it! It won't even fill you up that much!'

>>491341
A

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>>491341
Tempted by desire and a gimmicky appetite, Trumpgoos slowly inches towards one of the delicacies, stomach growling all the while. It inches closer, closer, and is just moments from seizing one when—

"TRUMPGOOS! What do you think you're doing?! Those are for tempting petty voters to switch sides, not tempt you! Get back over here! This Jewish retard from Unova thinks he can accuse me of shilling my campaign in the comments! Why, we'll see how much he likes it.........WHEN I REPORT HIM!!"

"Gooos goooos...."

A) 'He's not looking, just take one!'
B) 'Maybe you should listen to him..'

>>491414
A

>>491414
A.

>>491414
A

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>>491414
The mayor doesn't wait for the rodent to respond, and it isn't long before his attention shifts back to his trivial flame war. When that happens, Trumpgoos' eyes immediately dart back to the enticing bowl of candies.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBKSMqEzIpE
"Yahahahaaaa..."

There's a twinkle—a glimmer—in the rodent's eyes, a lustful urge for sustenance no matter the consequences.

"Gooosuu!"

The rodent snatches one and doesn't look back.

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>>492051
———————————————————————————————————————————
[NIGHT TWO]

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>>492057
———————————————————————————————————————————
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dukh31_0d80
"Maaaaa. . . . . maaaaaaaa. . . . . ."

As the moonless night begins to settle in, Lumiose hastily undergoes yet another unbelievable transformation from a bustling metropolis into a bleak and dismal ghost town. Doors are locked, windows are shut, lights are off, and all businesses and operations close up for the night. For once, the streets are barren of Go fanatics, but their replacements aren't exactly any peachier.

"Maaaaaaaaaaa . . . . ."

["PLOT-ARMORED RETREAT" — LOOKER BUREAU]

You quickly avert your peeping eyes from the window, no longer curious about what's skulking outside. "S-So, uh," you begin with a gulp. "'Zombs are starting to crop up..."

"Eh, already? Well, good thing we returned here as quickly as possible! I give that's an A+ on reflexes!"

"Is it right outside?"

"Yeah.. It's just sorta pacing around aimlessly.. Might be looking for a home near here.."

"A potential assault in the making? Junior detective! Be a sport and go thwart it for us, hm?"

A) "I-I'm fine right here, thanks!"
B) "W-Wha!? You go do it!"
C) "On second thought I saw nothing outside. Coast is clear."
D) "If you insiiiiiiiiiist.."

>>492266
D

>>492266
D

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>>492266
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJGzI8UoMf0
The hairs on the back of your neck are standing on-end, but to be fair, you did choose the lackey life, now you have to live up to it. Shivering, you nod and put your big boy pants on. "If you insiiist.. but if I die you better make sure they play Bicycle Race at my funeral!"

You head out to deal with the rotting bug-eyed menace, leaving the rest of your party to discuss current events under a rickety, flickering light.

"Lysandre Labs," Looker says, rolling the trademarked title off his tongue. "Well. I'll give them points for alliteration. You say you've heard of this corporation before, junior detective?"

Serena keeps her gaze trained on the floor, arms crossed. "Ah, yes.. perhaps more than most."

"Excellent! We might just have a lead after all! Please, if you can enlighten this regrettably uninformed foreigner. What is it that they do?"

"They.. They're a corporation that specializes in the development of everyday gadgetry and appliances for the betterment of society.. or at least, that was their chosen facade.. On the inside, they were a villainous organization of bitter misanthropes known as Team Flare. They once sought to create a world of pure beauty by annihilating this one, and had it not been for Calem.. they may have succeeded."

"Woah! Our Calem? You mean to say my very own junior detective dismantled an evil team?! I.. I feel so retrospectively proud! Pray tell, junior detective, what role did you play in this conquest against evil?"

"I.. I was an informant.. for Flare."

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>>493235
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNMot7V0v_4
The enthusiasm all but drains from Looker's face, and suddenly Serena's earlier reaction begins to make sense. "I.. Oh. Well.. that brings about some explanations, I suppose.."

"Please don't take it to heart, Mr. Looker, it.. was a reluctant membership from the very beginning. It's only thanks to Calem that I was able to escape from it at all.."

"... No worries, junior detective. You'll have to excuse my astonishment—I understand, it's all in the past now! Why, 'it is not your truth-ish circumstances that define the career that is your life—but the idealistic actions you undertake along the way!' . . . is something I vaguely misconstrued from a film—"

"But that's just it, Mr. Looker.. this is no longer water under the bridge. If that suit was indeed manufactured by Lysandre Labs, then.."

"... Then maybe this evil team isn't so 'dismantled' after all. A residual revival spearheaded by a squad of scorned survivors? It's just ridiculous enough to loop back to sheer genius in my mind!"

"But then that would mean.. Melisma.. Calem isn't going to like this."

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>>493560
———————————————————————————————————————————
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJxP4GppBGo
"Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. . . !"

The mindless, two-clawed cadaver doubles back with an aching moan, the shriveled skin under its armor quivering wildly from taking a Focus Blast to the chest.

"Yeah, you better be afraid! We've got tons more where that came from! Right Trevenant?"

"Trevaaa!" the phantom cries, exerting his signature pride.

Something about the pottery of using a ghost to combat a zombie is far too illustrious an idea for you to pass up. It's like one of those childhood daydreams come true, the kinds of things you'd discuss at recess with your ethnic schoolyard chums (with other oft-debated death battles including cowboys versus pirates, sharks versus dinosaurs, and ninja versus samurai).

You always figured ghosts would win in this particular match-up, and as it turns out—little you couldn't have been more right.

"Maaaaa...maaaaaa......MAAAAAAA!" enraged by your taunting and little kid fantasies, the armored corpse recoils and lunges at Trevenant with a feral Knock Off.

>Clean up the streets!
A) Use Shadow Claw!
B) Use Energy Ball!
C) Use Rock Slide!
D) Use Confuse Ray!

>>493739
C to stop its momentum

>>493739
D. Hard to take a swing at your opponent when someone suddenly mirrors the world, inverts the colors, and turns on Big Head Mode.

>>493739
C

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>>493739
"Maaaaaaaaaaaaa . . . . . maaaaaaaaaaal!"

The armored carcass throws itself at Trevenant, swinging blunt swipes at the tree beast left and right with Knock Off. It's a tight situation, but Trevenant manages to dodge each and every one of them with careful sidestepping.

"Trevenant, stop its movement! Rock Slide!"

"Trah!"

Focus intact, Trevenant pushes against the ground and takes a colossal leap backward in order to quickly put distance between the two of them. The festering corpse continues slicing and dicing at dead air until it realizes that Trevenant is farther away than he was five seconds ago.

It doesn't stop to ask questions, and as soon as it gets over its brief confusion, it charges at the phantom for a chance to swing at him again. "Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa . . . !"

"Do it, now!"

"Trevaaaa!"

At Trevenant's haunting call, a portal rips open above the zombie's head, one so shiny and captivating that its easily-manipulated mind begins to lose focus as it gazes upward in awe. And then a boulder slams into the ground to his immediate right.

". . maaaaaaaa. . . . ?'

Then one to the left.

"Maaaaaaa—"

Then one mangles him right down the middle, utterly crushing him.

You take a pause to catch your breath, as does Trevenant, but there's no time to celebrate. Another daunting presence quickly makes itself known, and dashes out from the alleyway at breakneck speed to challenge you.

"What the.. Did it call in reinforcements?!"

"Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaa . . . . !"

"Uh, you don't get to bring friends!"

>Keep pace!
A) Use Horn Leech!
B) Use Shadow Ball!
C) Use Power-Up Punch!
D) Use Double Team!

>>494387
D

>>494387
D, zombies aren't capable of thought process

>>494387
C

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>>494387
"Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa . . !"

"Blegh, looks like a Night Slash! Trevenant, zombies are incapable of thinking—baffle it with Double Team!"

"Naaaaant!" the treant cries, pounding his fists together. As a paranormal entity, Trevenant happens to be a master of the illusory arts, or in layman's terms, a pro at fooling the incredibly gullible.

The undead crawdad rushes at Trevenant, propelling itself with jets of its own water. It raises a claw to slice at the specter, but before it can, Trevenant's body glows a bright, blinding white.

"Craaaaaaaaaaaaa. . . . . ?"

The sharp light blinds the zombie's vision, leaving it susceptible it to trickery. When it reopens them, it moans and slices through Trevenant with a abominable Night Slash . . . only for the phantom to disperse into nothingness.

"Craaaaa. . . . . !"

>Trevenant's evasion rose!

The crawdad snaps and whirls around to keep up, but it's too late. Trevenant splices his ghostly shadow into multiple copies that flood the street, surrounding the cadaver in a living forest of fear.

"Trevvv!"

A) Use Giga Drain!
B) Use Drain Punch!
C) Use X-Scissor!

>>494959
C. Don't want to drain any of whatever that zombies got.

>>494959
C

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>>494959
"Craaaaaa . . . ."

"Cra!

"Cra!

Unable to think for itself amongst the confounding sea of Trevenants, the zombie's primal instincts kick into overdrive. With a snap of its pincers, it throws itself into the fray, wildly cutting down any and all mirages that stand in its way.

"Craaaaaaaaaaa!

The crawdad cuts a clear path of carnage through the illusory forest, but is unable to strike down the real Trevenant. Unbeknownst to the corpse, one of the copies lurking behind it begins to distinctively shake.

"Cr—!?"

"TREVAAAAAAA!"

Emerging from the deceptive wood, Trevenant not only takes the zombie by surprise, but slices through it with a savage X-Scissor, leaving nothing but its decomposing claws behind. Although the illusions and effects of Double Team fade away, you aren't out of the woods yet. A new puppet quickly steps up to the plate upon the crawdad's demise.

"Leeeeeeeeeeeeeee. . . . ."

"Damn, what the hell? They just keep coming!"

"Trevan treva!"

"Oh well, at least it's just a weak little Ledia—"

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>>495316
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
The undead ladybug promptly raises a homemade spear, which holds a decapitated zombie Houndoom.

"WHAT THE HELL—IS THAT EVEN LEGAL?!!?!!??"

A) Use Phantom Force!
B) Use Poison Jab!
C) Use Nature Power!

>>495334
A

>>495334
A

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>>495334
Erm... Lesson one in the world of Pokemon, never let your guard down, there's a first for everything—everything. Then again, it's not like you of all people needs to be told that. Remember the Probopass who didn't skip Leg Day?

"Leeeeeeee. . . . . . . .! "

"Hooooooooooooooooouuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrr!"

The zombie ladybug twirls its battered, bloodstained spear like a baton, and the hellhound head perched on its point corresponds by spewing out a torrential hellstorm of scorching hot flames—Inferno.

"T-Trevenant! Phantom Force, dodge it!"

"T-Trev!"

It's a close save, but Trevenant manages to conceal himself within the safety of the shadows before the flames can engulf him. Meanwhile you're stuck dealing with briefs sticking to your asscheeks.

"Leeeeee. . . . ?"

"HOUAAAARR ARRR AAARRRRR!!"

The mismatched pair spin in all directions trying to track down the treant amidst the blistering heat, but to no avail. Neither are unaware of the phantom creeping underneath them.

Then again, said phantom is also unaware of the other duo approaching to join the fight..

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>>496666
"There heee issss. . !" the Nidoking hoarsely moans to its Rhydon companion. "I knew I smelled something sweeeeeet over here. . . . . . ."

A) "Woah! Zombies can talk?!"
B) "Take a number and hang ten please, I'll be with you to kick your asses shortly!"
C) "That must be the promotional cologne I'm shilling! Want some?"

>>496687
A

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>>496687
"Woah!" you exclaim as Trevenant bursts out of the ground and slaughters the ladybug larcenist. "Zombies can talk?!"

"Whaaaa. . . . ? What's your problem?" the Rhydon moans. "You never seen a . . . . . talking . . . . . undead . . . . . Pokemon . . . . before?"

"I usually don't mingle with the bottom feeders of the Underworld, no."

"GUUUHHHHHHHH!" the Nidoking cringes. "B-Bottom feeders . . ? ! Did he just . . . . . This punk kid is dissssssssing the five second rule. . ! Let's beat him so hard. . . . his bruises will inherit the kids!"

"Unnnngggghh. . . . You've been dead for too long. . . You forgot how it goes. .. . . Let's just get him!"

The rotting Rhydon makes way to charge at you, but just as it gets a running start—its horn snaps and falls to the ground.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3EUprslmyw

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>>496781
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
"Uuuuungggghh. . . . Y-Your. . . . Your horn!"

". . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . UUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNHHH—M-My HORN. . !"

"Jesus fuck, his horn!"

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>>496806
———————————————————————————————————————————
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5XQ18CIgjU
"Royal curfew? There's no such thing as that!"

The diamond princess shakes her head, arms crossed with smug grin on her mug. "Jora jora jora~ Ohh, but there is~. I happen to need my beauty rest, you know. A valued luxury that, from the looks of it—you are unable to afford."

"Pardon? Speak with your mouth milady, not your airs."

"Jora jora jora~ No wonder you're so doubtful of its veracity, at your level, you can only dream of such amenities! Jora jora jora~"

Looker attempts to look past the mild steam boiling from Serena's head, keyword being 'attempts'. Without you present, he's sort-of become the mediator between the two. "Erm, ladies!—"

>Looker..
A) Tells your wife she's treading on thin ice.
B) Tells the two to commit to a compromise.
C) Tells the princess her status is not a free pass to entitlement.
D) Is utterly shutdown simultaneously by both women.

>>498030
D

>>498030
B

>>498030
C

>>498030
B.

She can get her beauty Rest, but she needs to use Sleep Talk periodically to stay involved in the investigation.

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>>498030
"Erm, ladies!" Looker interjects, butting in-between the two women. "Please keep in mind the stakes that are at hand! P-Perhaps it would be wise of us all to commit to a compromise?"

"Oh yes, most definitely," the princess exhales, and for a moment the tension on Looker's face relaxes. "I mean, my life was in jeopardy just hours ago and the mere thought of stepping outside once more in search of danger—let alone after curfew—fills me with an unrivaled sense of dread and trepidation... but if all that conflicts with your silly little case of the missing giggles, please, go right on ahead."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
"Hrm.. Something tells me that didn't fly well with her, junior detective."

"I tend to find that few things do."

"Well, what should we do? We can't just leave her here. Not only does it contradict the bodyguard's code of honor, but what if that Melisma fellow changes his mind, tracks her down, and recaptures her?"

"She would be completely defenseless.."

"Defenseless... defense less.. Hmm.... AHA! Junior detective, I think I've got an idea! Milady, would you be opposed to—"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGRIxbdSKHU
"Z z z. . . . .~"

"Ehhhh!? She already fell asleep!?!?!?"

"A demanding curfew indeed."

Lulled into a 'hibernation mode' of sorts, Diancie's limbs, head, and chest retract and submerge into the large, oblong chunk of Hard Stone constituting her lower-body. The procedure results in her looking like nothing more than a typical, run-of-the-mill rock with some jewels protruding from it.. that glow every now and then.

Looker and Serena both gawk at the sleeping beauty in a mix of awe and confusion, unsure of what to think. Ultimately however, Looker just shrugs it off. "Oh well, that works. My proposition required that she adhere to the curfew anyway. Let us collect her and be off!"

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>>498506
———————————————————————————————————————————
"Jesus fuck, his horn!"

"Uuuunnnghhhh. . . . . . . . Don't worry bro. . . . !" the Nidoking moans. "I've got yoooooooou. . . . . ."

The poisonous, undead king swipes the broken horn from off the ground, and proceeds to help his partner reattach it. "Wooooooahhh. . . . . . Good as new. . . . . . Unnnngh. . . . . . Thanks a lot!" the Rhydon beams, holding a sickly thumbs up.

"Dooooooon't mention it. . . . . . . . . . Reattaching appendages. . . . . . . . was my college majooooooooor!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFtLvkqHIds
"Oh no!" you cry, palms plastered to your cheeks. "THEY'RE BROTHERS IN ARMS!!"

>What do you do next?

>>498557
Question the Nidoking's unusually quick operation and imply shoddy worksmanship

>>498557
Try to shoot the shit and compare stories with the two zombies. Ask them about their own adventures, how they met, etc., and go on a trip down memory lane. Take the scenic route.

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>>498557
[>>498631]
"Hey! Zombie bros, tell you what!" you call out to the duo, hands cupped over your mouth. "I'll let both of you unlive if you tell me your life's story right here and now!"

Stunned by your proposition, the zombies turn to each other in confusion and mull over the idea.

"Uuuuunggggghhhhh . . . . . . . Is this chump serious?"

"Bleeeeeehhhh. . . . .I don't see why not. . . ."

The rotting Rhydon steps forth, places one foot on the nearest hydrant, and relaxes into a most-thoughtful posture.

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>>498839
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h23V0v158os
"Grrrrrrrrruunnnngggghhhhhh. . . . . . . It all started. . . when I was born. . . . . . . ."

"They said I hatched out of my egg seventh months too early, and backwaaards. . . but my mother called them retarded. . . . . . however, blinded was she by her own hypocrisy when she decided within that moment. . . . . . . to name her newly-born child the same name as our species. ."

"Rhyhorn I was, and Rhyhorn I came to be. . . . . . . . My childhood was wrought with torment and partial nudity. . . . . . . . . . I was not allowed to venture outside the house. . . . . and so there was much arguing to be had within its walls. . . . . . my father. . . . . never appreciated me. . . . . . . . . . and never looked my mother in the eyes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ."

"He wanted me to become a professional gigolo. . . . . . . . . . of course. . . . . . . . . . I felt I was destined for greater things. . . . . my mind. . . . . . . . . . was constantly, perpetually locked in a state of emotional rape. . . . . . . . . . I had much to say, much to write. . . . . and it was from that point on. . . . . that I knew I wanted to hone my untold talents into becoming creative. . . . . "

". . . . . My dad came out as a homosexual furry. . . . . . and left our family. . . .. My mother. . .. . . died shortly after of spontaneous scoliosis. . . . . I had no one else. . . . . . . . . . no one else. . . . . but Nidorino. . . . ."

"Uuuuuuunggghhh. . . . That's me by the way. . . . carry on. . "

"One of the most important moments in a mon's life is evolution. . . . . . . . . . and when it came time to evolve. . . . . evolve we diiiiiiiid. . . . . . . . Nidorino became Nidoking, a glooooorious monarch. . . . . . . . . . I became Rhydon. . . . . . . . . . and for a time. . . . . . . . . . I thought my chain could advance no further. . . . . . ."

"And then. . . . . . . . . . one day. . . . . . . . . . nearly a decaaaaade later. . . . . . . . the Oompa Loompas in the Sinnoh region suddenly ruptured the collective childhoods of our youth by giving birth to the abomination known as. . . . . . . . . . Rhypeeeeerriooorrrrr. . . . . . . . . . "

"Such a shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit design. . . . . . . . . . I slit my neck on the spot. . . . . . . . . . and Nidoking later died of spontaneous scoliosis"

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>>498846
"Uuuuunngggghhhh. . . So what did you think? Was it good? I want only positive feedback. Did you—HEY!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RMdpj7mgDU
"WHERE DID HE GO!?!??!?!??"

The undead bros pivot to the sound of fervent footsteps behind them. "SEE YA LATER PUNKS," you yell while rendezvousing with your spicy posse. "HASHTAG FRESH-FLESH LIFE! FUCK ZOMBIES"

"Treva trevaa!"

. . .

. . .

. . .

The undead Nidoking puts its hands on its hips, shaking its head and clicking its dried tongue. "Unnnnnnnnggggh. . . . . That's the FIFTH time this week someone ditched us after hearing your life story. . . . . . . . . . . . ."

"UUUUUNGGGH. . . . OSCAR BAIT HE SAID. . . . "

"THE BOYHOOD OF THE YEAR HE SAID. . . . . . . "

"Uuuunnnnnnnnggghhh. . . . . . Fuck off! You got your degree at DEVRY!"

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>>499183
———————————————————————————————————————————
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpAYKbiigfQ
"Weeeeeaaaaaaa. . . . . . . ."

"Eeeeeleeeekkk. . . . . . . ."

"Ploooooooouuud. . . . . . . . . ."

It's getting worse.

"Quuuuaaaaaaaaa. . . . . . . ."

"Gaaaaaaaaarrrrrr. . . . . . . ."

"Paaaarrraaaaaaa. . . . . . . ."

Much worse.

At first you swore it was a trick of the mind, but as your party tours the night streets, it becomes readily apparent that there's no ruse to be had. What at least could have been rationalized as a few isolated occurrences last night is today—beyond comprehension.

It's a fucking invasion. A conquest commandeered by cadavers. They're everywhere. Absolutely everywhere. It's a pocket monster mash. Moldering zombiemons of all shapes, types, and sizes litter the streets of Lumiose. Everywhere you go, everywhere you turn, there's always one—if not two—of them lurking, moaning, stalking out their next prey.

What's worse is that when they're not hostile, they're annoyingly elusive. In addition to the aggressive types your team is forced to fight, the others are squealing, easily-frightened freaks who bolt at the sign of exposure, much like the Seismitoad from last night. Every time you rush in to crack their skulls, they make eye contact and freeze like a Deerling in headlights, before shrieking to the umpteenth degree and fleeing. Even the slowest sluggard you've ever seen becomes a sound-shattering speedster at the sight of living beings.

In short, your group's trek through the town is one wrought with oddities throughout. Trevenant does well in thinning the zombie horde's numbers with his ghostly superiority, but even phantoms have to rest every now and then, so you recall him for the remainder of the night.

"PAAAAAAAAAAARAAAAAAAAAAAA REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! ! !"

A zombified Parasect (would that be double-zombification?) locks eyes with you and clears the scene in a single bound, leaving nothing but spore particles in its wake. With it gone, South Boulevard is quiet, but only because you had to make it that way.

Looking back at all the bits and pieces of zombie, all the carnage you caused, really makes you think.

"..... Meh. Someone'll clean it up."

>>499885
>"..... Meh. Someone'll clean it up."
Who wants to bet that someone is us?

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>>499885
"So Diancie's a rock now?"

"Come now, junior detective, she was always a rock! Now she's just one.. in a more literal sense! And honestly, when you get right down to it—aren't we all just inanimate rocks on the inside?"

"Uh-huh... and what's the status on the tag?"

"We came to a consensus based on the trademark, and it's just as we feared—the threat of Team Flare is not over. They, or at the very least someone utilizing their former public moniker, manufactured the suit utilized by Melisma."

"S-So this means.."

"Melisma is very likely to be in league with them."

"Oh.... Damn, I really wanted to believe he was one of the good ones, he just seemed so.. out of place."

"It's best not to put too much thought into it. It's entirely possible he aims for you to lose focus by luring you into a false sense of doubt. You're, ah... rather easy to distract."

"Hm? Did you say something?"

"Nothing, nothing. Moving on—Calem, you still remember where Lysandre Labs is located, yes?"

"Er... It was hidden directly underneath Lysandre Café, the only café in town that actually stands out from the rest."

"It also happens to be the only café in town without a PokeStop, so it doesn't receive any charity from that player who spends his life savings setting up constant Lure Modules for others... or at least, that's what those very rude women in the boutique told me. I don't know what any of it means!"

"Both of you are correct. The laboratory was thought to be shutdown and abandoned following Flare's initial demise, and the café experienced a sharp decline in business after earning the ire of the region. The sheer emptiness of it all makes it the ideal location for a Neo-Flare base of operations."

"Annnnnd we're going to storm it?"

"Considering the city is swarming in undead vermin and their numbers are only going to rise the more we sit around and twiddle our thumbs, I'd say we have no other choice. Are you ready?"

A) Ready as I'll ever be!
B) Give me a minute to catch my breath mulatto.
C) Actually I'm a giant pussy and I'm going to wimp out at the last minute.

>>500809
A. We've done this song and dance before. What's one more time?

>>500809
C

>>500809
A

>>500809
C

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>>500809
———————————————————————————————————————————
[THE CORPSELESS HUB — MAGENTA PLAZA]
[JUST OUTSIDE LYSANDRE CAFÉ]

Funny, you don't even need to take a step into the café to know that something is eerily wrong, hell, you don't even need to take a step into the plaza it sits on. Something is off, like, even more off than the rest of the city. Ironic isn't it? The only place in town that's completely free of the living dead and it's considered a straight-up anomaly.

The zombiemons are all unanimous in staying far the fuck away from Magenta Plaza. For what purpose, you can't exactly say, the only other thing they're triggered by is being stared down by non-quarry. You won't have to worry about it much longer though, chances are you'll know the reason by the end of the night.

"Bababababababaaaaaaaaaa. . . . . . . ."

"Eh?" you mumble, ears perking to the noise. "Who's there!?!?"

"Is something watching us?"

A babbling imp-like creature skitters across the plaza, concealed by the darkness.

"Show yourself, you can't hide forever!"

"Bababababababababaaaaa. . . . . Babababababababaaaaaa!!"

Its shrieks gets louder and pierce your ears from behind, you pivot but still can't get a good look at the rascal. It's a little too hyperactive to be a zombie. You can vaguely hear flapping intermixed with all the frothy prattling.

"BABABABABABAAAAAAAAA!!!"

The creature zips overhead, its screeching now at high pitch. If you don't act soon, it could attack, or worse, rape!

>What do you do?
A) Toss a rock at the fucker. BAM.
B) Blindly throw yourself and man-wrestle it.
C) Acquire a convenient, cheap flashlight from your inventory and shine some light on it.
D) Spray it with the cologne you're shilling!

>>501240
D

>>501240
B, FUCK IT UP

>>501240
A

>>501240
B

>>501240
B

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>>501240
"A daunting creature coats itself within the darkness in order to agitate us with its pettiness! Such immature yet fell treachery.."

"Daunting? Perhaps at a glance, Mr. Looker," Serena says while retrieving a pokeball from her bag. "Please, allow me. I can recognize this creature from its cry, and as fast as it is—its bulk is nothing to boast about. One well-honed Psychic should be able t—"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
"EAT SHIT, SHADOW FUCKER!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Unfortunately, Serena does not account for you literally throwing yourself into the darkness and tackling the creature to the ground with a quarter-half ab body blow.

Tackle has one-hundred percent accuracy, so of course it doesn't miss, even in the dark. Ten out of fucking ten bro, where were you in this world's equivalent of Rio?

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>>501989
"Or, that... I suppose that works too."

"C-CROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, crooooooooooobaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!" the petty imp—now revealed to be a Crobat—frantically struggles under the weight of your quarter-half abs to no avail. "Babaabababababaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!!!" it squeals, all the speed in the world can't help it now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRfmFdaBdyk
"Whoa, whoa whoa!" a voice calls out from across the plaza. "Wait wait! Time out, time out! Imbecile, you're crushing him, crushing him! Get off!"

Annnnd for whatever reason, you comply. Maybe it's because he sounds pretty desperate.

"C-Crooo... croooooobaa...." the bat whimpers with a tear dangling from its eye as it weakly flaps back to its owner. "Crobat!" he calls, seemingly in worry. "... Activate the Coca-Cola neon sign at once!!"

"Bababababaaaaa...."

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>>502036
You're hoping that things will clear up once some lights shine on, buuuuuut no shit just gets more confusing. Sparks flash, and after a delay, a cheap, flickering sign illuminates the plaza, revealing a single-gloved pale individual dressed in all-red, one you sort-of-know not-all-that-well.. at all.

"CARL CARLSON..." the man calls, one fist passionately pumped and another crossing his heart. "So we meet again!"

A) "What the fuck—DUDE YOU'RE STILL ALIVE? BRAVO"
B) "W-Wha? That's not my..."
C) "..............................Who?"
D) "Well if it isn't my old nemesis Goggles McProstate Exam!"

>>502072
A

>>502072
C

>>502072
D.

>>502072
C

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>>502072
"..............................Who?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RMdpj7mgDU
"Nnnghh!" Xerosic wails, falling to his knees. "A fatal blow!"

"C-Croba, crobaa!!"

"Er, was it something I said?"

"~whisperwhisperwhisperwhisper~"

"What? The 'Button Guy'?!"

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>>502176
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9pSALzbwI4
"E-Engh.... Bah, whatever." the scientist scoffs, getting up off the ground. "I shall accept that label I suppose, yes! It is I! THE BUTTON GUY!....... our main game interaction was rather passing for it to have come to that, wasn't it?"

"I'd say so."

"Most definitely."

"Alas! Such underwhelming results, I was hoping for a confrontation far more epic.. there's naught to be done but reeducate your diminutive minds, and reeducate I shall! Listen well and commit this name to memory, children—I am Xerosic! Freelance innovator AND SEEKER OF SCIENCE!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g81oEaJ7tgg
"Crobat, cro!"

A) "Hey.. Now I remember you, I kicked your cherry red ass to the curb!"
B) "What kind of name is that? I can't pronounce that shit!"
C) "Don't you mean new head of Team Flare you cockadeuce!"

>>502212
B

>>502212
A

>>502212
C

>>502212
B

>>502212
A

>>502212
A

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>>502212
"Hey.." you mutter while squinting, memories returning to your alzheimer-y conscious. "Now I remember you, I kicked your cherry red ass to the curb!"

Though you mean to come across as threatening, Xerosic merely takes your words as jest, and chuckles as if the bygone events in question were golden memories from humbler times. "Heheh, heh.... Yes, I suppose you did give my bottom a good rump-rousing that day, didn't you? I trust the feeling—the sensation of it—was like an aphrodisiac of the mind to you. What else could have coerced you to reenter my company?"

"Cro, crob!"

"I suddenly regret kicking your ass.."

"As you should!" the scientist exclaims, flaming passion erupting once more. "For if you only held a sliver of the remorse then that you feel now, then perhaps the fruitful oodles of research I conducted while under that flaring tenure would still be intact today—away from the prying, confiscating hands of the authorities!"

"Though I suppose.. I do owe you some form of gratitude. It was you who disposed of that diabolical Malamar, I presume? What a nuisance, blinded by ambition masked as science—an experiment gone wrong in every sense of the word. The world is a much better place with him out of commission."

A) "Well it wasn't me per say, his buddy sort-of turned on him.."
B) "..'Fruitful oodles?'"
C) "Is all you care about.. research?"
D) "I don't know, it's still a pretty bad place if it has guys-like-you running around."

>>503264
B.

>>503264
A

>>503264
B for asking the important questions

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>>503264
"..'Fruitful oodles?'" you echo, brow raised.

"INDEED, CARL!" the scientist reaffirms, his passion at its utmost peak. "Such rosy words are the only ones worthy of describing it—the months and months of vital research efforts conducted while I was under Lysandre's employment.. all of it—gone! They ransacked the place after Team Flare's demise, took anything of note, and left it to ruin. What was I to do? I was at an impasse, the public was in turmoil, ripe with anger! Anyone with any affiliation to Flare was being apprehended for immediate questioning!"

"Crobat, croooba!"

She tries to hide it, but you catch Serena meekly rubbing her arm from the corner of your eye.

"I had to start all over! When it was confirmed that Lysandre was no more—marred by his own ambitions in more ways than one, I went into hiding.. but with his downfall went not only my former work, but my funding as well!"

". . . Hm. Now that I think about it, I take it back. I don't owe you much of anything, Carl. You may have brought about an end to my greatest creation and popped those infernal balloons, but you also dismantled my organization—and by extension—my empire of S C I E N C E that was to rise in Lysandre's new world!... following my would-be betrayal."

A) "So, what? Now you're a bitter lonely creep who gets a kick out of raising the dead?"
B) "Man, if only my ex-buddy guy were here, he'd get a kick out of you."
C) "For fuck's sake, was everyone using the fuck out of Lysandre!? To this day—ridiculous.."
D) "Sounds like all I did was standard hero stuff. I wouldn't say the job's done yet—you're still standing after all."

>>505584
C

>>505584
C.

>>505584
A for exposing pedophiles

>>505584
B

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>>505584
"For fuck's sake!" you snap with style. "Was everyone using the fuck out of Lysandre!? Absolutely ridiculous.."

"Yes, quite so.. In fact, in the end you might say that the only individual who genuinely cared for the so-called 'endgame ambitions' of Team Flare was, alas, the very man who pioneered them. For the bulk of Flare, Lysandre and his nonsensical prophecies were but a means to an end. We endured his constant ramblings of beauty and immortality for our own respective benefits—oh the lectures he had us sit through.."

"Some sought to betray him, to aid him in fulfilling his goal and then double-cross him upon the fruition of his bizarro-paradise. Others merely liked our style, the thought of bullying others, the money, or the unquenchable lust for some form of power or authority, no matter how small."

"A stray anomaly or two actually felt frightened, daunted by the ramifications of our leader's obtuse scheme. Can you believe it? They paid that obnoxious sum—the madmen!—to join our ranks just to save their sorry rumpuses from an apocalypse that never came, thanks to you, Carl."

Xerosic pauses to tug harshly on his sole glove, stretchiest the elastic as far as it can go, before letting it slap against his pale skin.

"As for myself? Well, I've already made that clear. I'm a man of science caught in the heat of a conflict's aftermath, nothing more, nothing less.

A) "Nothing less my foot, you're totally up to something! I'll shank the truth out of you if I have to!"
B) "Hope you've got a Burn Heal because you're about to be in even more heat, bucko."
C) "So you won't mind if we ask you a few questions then? Since your hands are so clean and all."
D) "Do you have any idea how suspicious that sounds in the middle of a city-wide crisis?"

>>506120
D

>>506120
C.

>>506120
A

>>506120
C

>>506120
C.

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>>506120
"So you won't mind if we ask you a few questions then?" you presume with a negotiable tone, sensing a possible route through him that doesn't require pummeling him to pulp. "Since your hands are so clean and all."

"On the contrary" the scientist quickly counters. "I do mind. I'm in the middle of a crucial experiment and as far as mindless chattergoes, I'm well-spent. Now, if you haven't anything to contribute to the field test beyond impeding its progress, then I suggest you turn around and—"

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>>506569
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkyCgkE_KNs
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!" Looker exclaims with an accusatory finger, stepping forth to snatch the spotlight from you (rude). "I've heard just about enough out of you!"

"Eh?"

"Mr. Looker?"

"What the—!" Xerosic flinches and takes a defensive stance. "An unforeseen variable? How intriguing.. And just who are you supposed to be, old man? An elderly Doctor Who cosplayer? Perhaps your failing memory may not have noticed, but Comic-Con ended weeks ago!"

"Crobaat, crobbbaaat!"

"Hmph," the taunt fails to affect the detective, who proceeds with his bombastic introduction. "Who am I? Who am I? Yes, that is the burning question on everybody's mind! The answer, you ask? You cannot know! You won't ever know! Not even -I- know for sure, that is how secretive that intel is! You may however, call me by code name, and in that regard: I am Looker, globe-trotting, crime-fighting elite and detective extraordinaire of the Internatio—er, I mean!—Looker Bureau, and I have more than just tepid run-of--the-mill inquiries to ask of you. In fact, you sir.. are wanted by the mayor of Lumiose City on multiple accounts of plunging this humble metropolis into an ocean of fear overrun by the living dead!! What do you have to say for yourself!?"

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>>506570
For someone faced with opposition, operation exposure, and basically put on blast and sent to the slaughterhouse, Xerosic's demeanor doesn't seem to change much. As a matter of fact, he seems to be a little... confused?

"Hm? Zombie infestation? You are mistaken, codger. I've done no such thing. Look around you and observe! There are no fell creatures to be seen here! I'm a man of science, not a man of necromancy! Reevaluate your fact sheet before attempting to point fingers."

A) "Oh lay an egg, scientists revive the undead all the time!"
B) "Of course there aren't any zombies here, why would they attack their mastermind's HQ?!"
C) "Science, necromancy, brouhaha, chemistry—it's aaaall the same shit."
D) "I think you're the one who needs a check buddy—a reality check!"

>>506571
B

>>506571
B.

>>506571
B.

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>>506571
"Of course there aren't any zombies here, why would they attack their mastermind's HQ?!"

Again, Xerosic doesn't even blink in response to your bold deductions. "Hm. Your logic is sound," he begins, adjusting his goggles. "But your reasoning is flawed. Yes. I'm well-aware of the feral beasts that have been let loose in this town, but let me assure you with the utmost sincerity that I have nothing to do with their rapid propagation. Those creatures were disrupting my work, throwing it into disarray, suppressing me from performing fieldwork—only through the gift of SCIENCE was I able to generate a force potent enough to repel them from this plaza."

"Let this sink in: Team Flare is no more, but their abandoned facilities are mine to use. Lysandre Labs Incorporated will live on through charity and odd jobs, and its name will remain intact not because of the non-existent respect I held for my former boss, but simply due to brand recognition. That is the name already embedded into the public conscious. I also get to enjoy the leftover coffee of the café. They left their Kalosian press.. it is amusing to use."

Despite the scientist's protests, Looker remains steadfast, lawful eye unwavering. "Regardless of your testimony, science man, I'm afraid you're still a wanted man. Even if you aren't the one responsible for conceiving this calamity, you are nonetheless guilty of evading arrest when your organization was dismantled. That much cannot be denied or put to question."

"Yeah! What he said!"

"Now, if you could just come quietly.."

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>>506971
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4ORBWO566I
"Hmm... hmhmhmm. ..heheheheheheheh....... Hah hahahahahahaha hahahahaha hahahaha ha ha HA!.. Mm.. Perhaps that forcefield isn't nearly as strong as its reported results led me to believe. Low capacity, minimal power, less-than-desirable range, when you add it all up.."

"IT MEANS WORMS LIKE YOU CAN STILL SLIP THROUGH THE CRACKS!"

"Babababababababaaaaaa, CROBAT!"

"Crobat! I'm far past the point of answering to uncooperative, amateur lawmen! Take care of them, this experiment shall be delayed no longer! The energy is stronger now than it ever has been! Tonight.. we tap into its unheralded wonders!"

"Baaaaaat!!"

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>>507128
Looker gulps, pit against the acrobatic bat with no hope of defending himself. "U-Uh.. Greetings, my nocturnal companion!.. How do you d—?"

>Crobat used Mean Look!

"ABOOGABOOGABOOGA!!!!"

"Gaaah!! So ruthless! Uuungghh...." the detective yelps, color draining from his face. He falls to the ground, effectively neutralized.

"Crobaaaaaa!"

"Hm, Calem.."

"I know, I know—don't worry Looker, I've got your back!"

>Mean Look! You cannot escape or switch out!
>Objective: Defeat Crobat!
>Who do you use? (Note: Luchy and Trevenant are resting!)
A) Greninja
B) Dedenne
C) Dragalge
D) Noivern
E) Odie

>>507139
B

>>507139
C

>>507139
D
Time for some immunity

>>507362
Jesus fucking Christ too much charades i meant C

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>>507139
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVNDyQlJJXc
"Dragalge! You're up, let's go!"

You've trounced this gloved madman before, who's to say you can't easily do it again? It's just a Crobat, nothing to be afraid of, a few whacks here, a few whacks there and it'll be just like old times.

"Dragaaaaaaa!"

You decide to go with your gut for this battle , and your gut tells you that this bat is fast as holy hell and mad crazy with poisoning anything it can get its venomous fangs on. Play too rashly and you could risk a crippling status effect... that is, unless you happen to own a Poison-type.

"Hm. Another Poison-type?" Xerosic mutters as the leafy seadragon emerges onto the field. "Clever call. Were you expecting some sort of acidic assault? . . . Well aren't you omniscient! Bahh, such are the woes of having fought once before, you already know what I'm going to use! Oh well.. Fortunately we have alternative methods of conducting business—Crobat, ACROBATICS!"

"Crooooo!"

The battle begins and already Crobat vanishes into thin air, leaving only speed marks in its wake. Dragalge double takes as the acrobat takes the arena by storm, appearing all over the place in an attempt to bewilder him.

>H-He's fast!
A) Use Sludge Wave!
B) Use Dive!
C) Use Thunderbolt!
D) Use Protect!

>>507688
C, overload its nervous system and rob it of its precious speed.

>>507688
C.

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>>507688
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-6JV-M8oxE
Although Dragalge's immunity to poison is not without its perks, it comes at a harsh price. The seadragon is by far the slowest Pokemon on your team, and Crobat is an absolute monster in that regard, able to outspeed and strike him from all angles nearly three times as fast—and Acrobatics allows it to do just that.

"Crobicrobicrobicrobicrobicrobi—CROBAAA!"

"D-Dra?!"

Crobat virtually teleports from place to place with how fast it's going, a single flap of its wings is able to carry it across the plaza. Neither you nor Dragalge are able to keep up with the acrobat's sonic momentum. "D-Dammit! Dragalge, hang in there! Don't let it distract you, that's just what it wants! FOCUS!"

"D-Dra.. Dragal!"

"Yeah, that's it!" you cheer with uplifting spirit. "Don't pay attention to where it's going, pay attention to where you think it's moving to and strike it with Thunderbolt!"

Heeding your words, Dragalge stills himself and waits for the perfect opportunity to electrocute the acrobat. Biding time, the seadragon studies its pattern and upon catching a weak point, raises his tail to catch it off-guard.

"Crobbucrobbucrobbucrobbucr—"

"DRAAAAAA!!"

>Dragalge used Thunderbolt!

. . . !

>It missed!

"What?! No way!"

"G-Galg—?!"

Dragalge aims at exactly the right spot, but Crobat is swift enough to dodge the bolt of lightning. Before the seadragon can even react properly, it retaliates with a vengeance.

"BABABABABABAAAAAAAAAT!"

"D-Draaaa!"

Poisonous venom spews from Dragalge's snout as Crobat strikes at him from behind, from above, from the side, from below, anywhere you can think of. Dragalge is helpless to the itemless assault and does his best to endure it.

"Hm, this maritime dragon can conjure electricity.." Xerosic notes. "Good thing the secret is out—such surprises won't save you!"

A) Use Dragon Pulse!
B) Use Icy Wind!
C) Use Acid Armor!
D) Use Swagger!

>>507960
B, Crobat needs to be slowed down

>>507960
A.

>>507960
B

>>507960
B

>>507960
B. Send it out in a circle by spinning so that it permeates the area. We need a surefire hit to proc the speed drop.

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>>507960
"G-Gaaalg!"

Dragalge hits the ground with a THUD as Acrobatics concludes, having sustained a substantial chunk of damage (the STAB Acrobatics game is ridiculous). Crobat doubles back and returns to its side of the field, awaiting to see if the seadragon has the guts to get up and give it another go.

"Calem!" Serena calls out to you, ever ready to dispatch her sagely wife wisdom (and boy do you need it). "Even the most poignant of strategies will backfire if you aren't fast enough to execute them! You know this! You either need to keep pace with your opponent or slow it down to your tempo!"

>'Gahhh.. She's right, what the hell am I thinking? I can't even begin to counterattack if it's moving like Coldsteel the Hedgeheg..'

>'I gotta put the brakes on it, but how... Hm..'

Your eyes frantically dart around the field for something, anything, that can tip the scales in your favor. You're fighting in a plaza, for starters, a circular plaza, a plaza whose small radius would be pretty easy to permeate with just the right attack..

"Ah! I've got it!"

You flash your wife a wink and a quick thumbs up. "Ten-four bae! I read you loud and clear, thanks for the reminder! Hey Dragalge! Listen to me! I know you can get up! Don't give in, let's show 'em what we're made of!"

"D-Dra.....draa..... DRAGA!" thanks to your gusto, Dragalge picks himself off the ground and continues the fight, scuffed—but far from defeated.

"Awesome! Now follow my lead, this is gonna get a little tricky, but if anyone can pull it off—it's us!"

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>>508782
"Steel Wing—" Xerosic orders, arm raised. "—statistics show that dragon is two-hundred percent more likely to win the lottery, get struck by lightening, and get torn limb from limb by a wild school of Sharpedo than endure another savage blow, so just put the poor thing out of its misery already."

"Croba, cro!!"

Putting forth the blindest of faith in those projected numbers, the acrobat rapidly rubs its big wings together until they stiffen and become as sharp as steel, then charges forth in yet another burst of sonic speed.

"Crobucrobucrobucrobucrobucrobucrobucrobucrobu..!"

Dragalge steadies himself. Despite his best attempts to remain calm, a bead of sweat still manages to slip by him at the sight of those blade-like wings. "Dragaa.."

"Dragalge, just like before, stay alert and focus! Wait until it leaves an opening, then take it by surprise! If we do this right, there's no way it'll be able to dodge it!"

"Still trying to rely on the element of surprise?" asks Xerosic. "Even after I explicitly told you such maneuvers wouldn't work on us a second time? What else could that feeble seahorse possibly have left in its arsenal?"

"Ahh, I was hoping you'd say that! Now, Dragalge! ICY WIND!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhLwyabmswY
"DRAAAGAAA!"

"Wh-What!?" Xerosic stutters. "It can disperse cold air too!? That's not possible!! That isn't backed up by science in the slightest!"

Dragalge strikes back just as Crobat draws near, but in a most innovative way. Stabbing his tail fin into the ground, Dragalge whirls himself around like a maniac while using Icy Wind, spraying gusts of chilled air from his snout in all directions. This act of quick thinking may have just saved your hide. Dragalge's momentum allows for the cool breeze to quickly spread and permeate the entire field, leaving zero places to hide.

"B-Bababa!? Babababab—"

Crobat attempts to evade the chilly assault with its speed but to no avail. No matter where it flees to, the frosty winds are sure to follow, and ultimately they succeed in nipping its body stiff.

"C-Crobuuuuuu!"

>Crobat's speed was lowered!

A) Use Waterfall!
B) Use Iron Tail!
C) Use Shock Wave!

>>509307
A

>>509307
C, it never misses

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>>509307
Not only does it dislike having its speed dropped, but Crobat also just has problems with Ice-type attacks in general. Its sharp fangs chatter relentlessly, unimaginable shivers running through every inch of its body—another exploitable weak point.

"We're not done yet! Dragalge, while it's distracted! Waterfall!"

"Dragaaal!"

"What?! Impossible! Our probability forecast was sound, backed by battle simulation" Xerosic declares, fist raised. "What are you doing, Crobat?! Now isn't the time to tremble! It's only a light breeze, get over it! Air Slash!"

Just as instructed, Crobat shakes off the shivering and uses Air Slash, or at least, it would have, if the Icy Wind wasn't making it so hard to see.

"C-Cro?!"

The tables are turned as Crobat finds itself lost within the foggy cool air, unable to make out anything but vague shapes that may or may not be Dragalge. Intimidated, the acrobat screeches and proceeds to Air Slash at every single weedy mirage that enters its line of sight. "Crooooooobaaaaa! CRO! CRO! CRO! CRO! CRO! CRO! CRO! CRO! CRO! CRO! CROOOO!"

The slashes cut clean trails through the frosty fog but fail to strike Dragalge down. By the time the spammy assault comes to an end, the cool winds have all but subsided with no seadragon in sight. "C-Crobu?!"

"Damn it, fool—BEHIND YOU!" the scientist warns, but it's too late.

"Cr—b-baaaaaaaaa!"

"GALGE!

Crobat turns around just in time for Dragalge to ram at full force with Waterfall, his sharp snout directly piercing the acrobat in the chest. The bat screeches uncontrollably, flapping its wings in a futile attempt to escape. Had it still been fast, it probably could have.

Propelling himself with the force of water, Dragalge gives himself one last bit of oomph to drive his snout in deeper. He charges at the acrobat, strikes its inner core, and ultimately sends it flying into the nearest building.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfMwcMFE7gc
"C-Croooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

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New thread after this
>>509585
"This.. is not turning out as anticipated. Gah.. Have my theories and speculation been all for naught..? Or have I merely underestimated this child? Was science.... wrong..?"

. . .

"Hmph. Speaking of children, where the devil is that blasted lackey of mine? I asked her to retrieve the device ages ago! Does she not understand that I am unable to pinpoint and retrieve the energy source without it—it's the sole reason I even stepped out of the lab in the first place! Now I've needlessly fallen under siege—Is she goofing off again!?"

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>>509623
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
"A-Ah! Mister Xerosic! Hold up! Here I am, over here!! I found the thingamabob you wanted, don't start without me!"

"Nyaa nyaa!"

Speak of the devil.

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Next post is the next thread
>>509629
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPGcpIXeA-4
You understandably drop everything in shock as Emma, the cute, dowdy homeless girl, scrambles out of Lysandre Café along with her frizzy cat.

"E-Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?!?!?!!? E-Emma?!?"

"Emma?! What are you—.."

"Oh! Hey guys! Ehehe, didja come to see me?"

"WHAAA—DON'T ACT LIKE THIS IS A CASUAL MEET AND GREET!"

A) Bitterly accuse her of running away from the bureau.
B) Express denial and disbelief at what she's doing.
C) Kiss her ass in spite of her actions because anyone with boobs in this adventure is your kryptonite, you sad sad little man.

>>509657
C.

>>509657
C

>>509657
B. Get a grip waifufags

>>510211
There's clearly more to the situation.