SkullQuest #1

>>461867
The Skeleton Emperor

>>461867
Sully McHumor

Thaddeus

Mr Skeltal

Skullmania

>>462007
Like any self-respecting person, you have a normal name, which happens to be Thaddeus. You're not some egotistical fuckhead who calls himself something like The Skeleton Emperor, or Skullmania (what is that, some shitty goth Bard troupe?)

Alright, now with the identity crisis out of our way, it's time to do get shit done. What do you do?

Jesusfucker9000

>>462066
This is, in fact, me, the QM. I'm jumping through several connections at this point, so beat with me. Last comment stands. What do you do?

>>461867
how is there a grate in the ceiling when there are no ceilings?

>>462066
Using shear force of will our superior skeleton mind teleports us out of this prison

>>462118
Ah, fuck me sideways. Meant to say Windows. Carry on.

>>462066
thrust the metal pole down on the floor grate until it breaks.

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>>462129
As soon as the thought enters your head you immediately berate yourself for even considering such an action. The sheer amount of magical skill required, not to mention the power, to cast through sheer willpower would be astronomical.

Such a line of thinking did remind you that you do have some magical talent. Nothing close to a wizard, but you've got plenty of minor magical tricks up your sleeve.

>>462172
Roll 1d6

Rolled 6 (1d6)

>>462182

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>>462189
You, with your superior Skull mind you immediately set about targeting the stones and cement that hold the grate in place, rather than the grate itself. In no time at all you have removed the grate from the hole. Unfortunately, this hole is only about a foot in diameter, unlike the one in the ceiling, which is closer to 4 feet square.

You know have: an iron rod, undamaged. A rusty metal grate, made of sterner stuff than your rod.

>>462211
it looks like you could jam the tip of the rod into a flaw in the grate, with that you could hook the grate on the ceiling and pull yourself up.

>>462211
Take off our skull and lower it into the hole to see if it leads anywhere.

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>>462229
You do so, and easily lift yourself up to the point where you're hanging from the ceiling grate, however, you immediately realize that this won't get you anywhere. The grate is far too small to fit anything more than your hand through it.

>>462231
Ah, yes, your favorite trick. Of course, you Don't want to strand your head down there(or your body up here, depending on how you define your personage) without having some way to get your skull back afterwards.

The rat, finished with it's drink, sniffs its way along the side of the room.

>>462256
alright, now that you've tested it, dislodge the overhead grate like you dislodged the bottom grate and then hook yourself up to the floor above.

>>462267
Definitely worth a try, roll 1d6

Rolled 5 (1d6)

>>462272

>>462357
It takes you the better part of an hour, but you finally manage to take the grate off. However, you immediately see another problem with attempting to climb up: the walls of the cavern are incredibly smooth, there's no way to gain traction with your boney body. However, this is Progress, you're close, you can feel it.

>>462366
Use the rod to pole vault up to the opening

>>462383
The Rod is only about 3.5ft long, you were just barely able to pull yourself up to the opening with it, there's no way you're going to vault your way up with that. Besides, the well-like walls continue up at least another 30ft. What you really need is some rope.

Sorry guys, I'll be more descriptive about scenery and items from here on out, so let the quest continue.

Rolled 2 (1d6)

>>463586
minor magic here we go! Try a lot of things, but you want to either get rope, get something you can make into rope, or get some way to grip the slick walls of the well.

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>>463661
You wave your hands about, marking Sigil after sigil in the air, calling upon your arcane abilities to aid you.

And you fail in casting any sort of spell at all. You're glad no one saw you...

From the corner the rat seems to snicker, but it's more likely your moment of embarrassment playing tricks on you.

Rolled 4 (1d6)

>>464137
have words with this rat

>>464137
"Oi, flea infested git, what do you think you're doing, laughing at me? You probably don't even have emotions."

>>464766
OP may think this is a joke, but what he may not realize is that I'm waiting for him to write a response before I suggest something useful.

>>464766
The rat seems unperturbed by your emotional outburst. Still sniffing it's way along the edge of the room.

4chan broke?

Rolled 6 (1d6)

>>464832
Could we perhaps break the grates into smaller pieces and use the pieces as climbing picks to get out?

Rolling if possible

>>465058
You immediately set about your work, and seem to do a pretty good job of it. You manage to break the grate into several pieces. Laid end to end they extend about 32 feet, which will probably be just long enough. Unfortunately, you still have no way of binding them together.

>>465275
Are no two pieces long enough to grip and stab into the wall and lift ourselves up?

How many of our own body lengths does the hole in the ceiling go?

>>466801
The pieces are all about 4 feet in length, which is just long enough to grip the lip of the hole in the ceiling. You did this earlier with our Grate-hook and Iron Rod. the issue comes with the hole in the ceiling, which appears to go about 20 feet up, and the walls of which are suspiciously smooth.

The hole in the ground seems to go down about 10ft, then curve like a pipe.

The rat persists in being a rat.

>>468336
show that rat who's boss and be a skeltal better than he can be a rat

>>468351
Roll for it.

>>468336
Are the walls of the hole in the floor just as smooth as the walls of our cell?

>>>468921
Those walls, while not perfectly smooth, are about as rough as your average slab of cement. Of course, the issue with this hole is that it's only about a foot wide.

You could drop your head in, like you usually do when you need to explore small spaces, but the issue remains that you don't have any immediate method of bringing your head back up afterwards.

>>468389
>>468351
Agreed, make a roll for Skelly-ness with a +1

>>469848
Actually, roll 2d6, drop the lowest, and add 1. My bad.

Rolled 2, 4 + 1 = 7 (2d6 + 1)

>>470179
Not the same person but rolling.

>>470582
You channel the power your ancestors have held for aeons. You remember who you are. You remember what you are.

You're THADDEUS MOTHERFUCKING SKELTAL, and you're sick of this shit. You're tired of being in this generic dungeon with its shitty impossible exit, and you're most certainly sick of not being able to remember who the fuck you are.

You summon the Brass Trumpet that is the personification of your soul, and a testament to your bloodline. You're the latest in a long line of Skeltals, and you're damned sure you're not going to be the last. In sheer defiance you serenade your confines(and the rat) with the melody of your people. The joyous and angry noise reverberating off the walls.

To all of this the rat replies "WOULD YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY THADDEUS?!"

>>470698
Fight that rat motherfucker, mess his shit up

>>470841
The rat has a name, which is Maurice, and though he's technically your familiar, you've half a mind to do exactly that. The bastard didn't say a word while you were acting like a shit-brained idiot with no memory. He could have fucking said something to try and help instead of screwing off.

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>>470899
Ask Maurice how the hell we got here and how do we get the fuck out.

>>470962
"The fuck if I know boss. Last thing I remember is we were in the club when some chick came in, walked up to our table and started sweet talking you, but not before she gave me what had to be one of the best shroom I've had to date... shit man... I saw dragons, like the old ones they talk about in the stories..."

Ah, yes. Once Maurice learned he was basically immortal as long as you remained in good health and... well, "alive," he decided to take upon himself to try any drug he could get his paws on. He seems to favor Hallucinogens in particular. His little "hobby" has been a cause of many an absence when you've needed him most. Case in point.

As for the girl... well, she was more than easy on the eyes, and, well, there's something to be said about a chick who manages to look that good in a severely plain dress.

"Anyway, I was just coming down from the trip with my mouth as dry as shit, and you were acting like you'd never seen me before in my life. Decided it was best to keep low until you were your old self, but fuck that shit! I already had a headache when I woke up."

"As for escaping, I know as much as you do. Hole here, hole there... you're the one with the master plan. You think of something!"

>>471273
Send Maurice down the hole to investigate.

>>471406
You fuckin' Crazy?! Who knows what could be down there? I could... well, not die, but it'd be painful!

...fine.

Maurice heads down into the hole.

>>471490
"Boss, you're not going to believe it, but there's a skeleton down here... not a live one though. Seems like some kinda plumber or something, died down here with his gear. After that it's a pile of rubble. Poor bastard probably starved to death down here."

>>471523
Get that gear

>>471611
"Looks like he's got a Welding Torch down here. I can probably drag it and his tool belt up to the bottom of the hole, but there's now way I'm gonna be able to pull it up there. What's our next move boss?"

>>471621
Have Maurice come back up. Make him hang on to a piece of the grate and see if he can reach the hole in the ceiling.

>>471741
You do so, but Maurice encounters the same problem you did.

"Sorry boss, but whoever put us down here did NOT want us to get out. These walls are too slick for even me to climb up it."

>>471833
Tell Maurice to go back down the hole and start welding together the pieces of the grate.

>>471916
"Ehrm... boss, are you sure you've got all your memory back? In case it wasn't clear, I'm a rat... I don't have enough bodily strength to even think about moving those grates, let alone hold the welding torch in position long enough to do any substantial sort of work."

>>471944
Tap the walls with the rod to see if there are any cavities behind them.

>>472167
Roll for it.

Rolled 3 (1d6)

>>472181
Rolling

>>472283
You search through half of the room, but there doesn't seem to be any hollow points so far. You wonder whether it might be fruitful to continue, or try something else.

>>472297
(Roll to continue, or propose another course of action)

>>472322
Remove all your bones and put them together by size in a row, turning you into a skeletal snake so you can slither down the hole in the floor.

>>472734
All skeletons can control their bones at-will to some degree, but this sort of task would normally be outside your grasp. Although... perhaps some arcane detail work could help?

Rolled 5 (1d6)

>>472322
Continue tapping the walls.

>>473078
You finish your search, and manage to find a hollow spot. Removing some of the rock work reveals a small wooden box with ornate carving. Opening reveals it to be a music box, and plays one of the most melancholy tunes you've ever heard... Why the fuck is this even here?

>>473133
Sit on the floor and contemplate all our actions that have led us to being here while listening to the sad music.

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>>473177
Honestly you can't remember shit about how you got here. All you know is that if you ever get out of here that bitch will pay...

As for what you could've done... well, nothing really comes to mind... I mean, you squared all your debts a week ago, right. Maybe it was the Bourbon incident... no, everyone had a good laugh about that one after the chickens had been cleared out of the bar. Maybe someone found out you'd been taking a little extra when you were making change with the tip jar, and this is some kinda prank by the guys? Nah...

Damn, this song is hitting you hard. Maybe you could play it on one of the slow nights, when there's not much going and everyone is feeling a little down. You're tempted to try and play it. It almost reminds you of... her.

>>473319
Examine the music box more carefully.

>>473392
Roll for it.

Rolled 2 (1d6)

>>473405
Rolling

Rolled 6 (1d6)

>>473469
Dammit, get Maurice to examine the box.

>>473469
You Don't seem to find anything unusual about the box.

"Boss, we gonna find a way out of here or what?"

>>473510
>>473515
"Boss, I got this."

Maurice with his little rat hands easily finds an edge within the Frame of the box. After a few moments he cries out.

"Boss, you're not going to believe this, but there's actually something in here!"

Maurice shows you two small objects. One is a wad of paper that has been folded too many times. The other is a small silver chain.

Rolled 4 (1d6)

>>473544
Unfold paper.

>>473667
The paper appears to be an old map of the city you live in. Three points are marked on the map.

Rolled 2 (1d6)

>>474293
What are the three points?

Also examine silver chain.

>>474538
You can't seem to place where they are at the moment. The shape of the city has changed quite a bit since the time period suggested by the map. You'd need time to orient yourself using a more recent map and knowledge of some historic landmarks.

(Examining the chain will take another roll)

Rolled 6 (1d6)

>>474607
Roll

Rolled 5 (1d6)

>>474607
While we take time doing all this lets try to Chuck our ray through the hole in the ceiling so he can look around while we inspect this stuff

>>474667
>>474660
As soon as you take a hold of the chain you realize there's no need. A shake or the chain expands it, until it's 12 feet in length. It's not long enough to reach out of the hole, but it's certainly long enough to tie to the belt and torch at the bottom of the shaft. You give Maurice instructions and in no time at all you are holding the belt and the torch in your hands. The chain seems far sturdier than it's size would suggest, you'll have to explore its properties further... but now, it's time to get out of this Shit-hole.

Rolled 4 (1d6)

>>474667
The hole goes up 30ft; I don't think we have the strength.

>>474705
Start welding a ladder from the pieces of the grate.

>>474802
You begin to do so, and start making progress. A little more effort(another roll) and you'll likely be in the home stretch.

Rolled 5 (1d6)

>>474817
Rolling

>>474827
After about an hour of work you finish. The ladder would probably buckle under the weight of some Fleshy. Fortunately, you're about 15% the weight of a human, so this will hold you no problem. Time to say good-fucking-bye to this shithole and find whoever did this to you. You bring with you the Chain, The Music Box, The Map, and Your Iron Rod.

>>474868
Next thread will include Leveling Up, and will likely start tomorrow morning. I'll be writing up Thaddeus' Character Sheet, Archiving this Thread, and generally getting Shit ready for next thread. Next Thread will have more character interactions and a lot less Escape the Room. Feel free to leave a review so I know how to improve.

>>474891
Alright, looking forward to the new thread.

>>474868
Let's not forget Maurice.

>>474909
Maurice is a familiar. He follows us whether he wants to or not, much as he'd like to leave.

>>474927
The junky hedonist do-not-care pragmatic rat familiar is fun.