Scrumptious Calem and Kuudere Serena's Tubular Voyage Part

>>383621
A seems like a Looker thing to do

>>383621
B.

>>383621
D, Looker needs to upgrade

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>>383621
The tie was randomized.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAf9YZDZ_4I
"Uh, hello? Heeelloooo? Anyone hooooome?~"

"Mr. Looker?"

"Hrmmm..... No results found... Try another search....."

"Looker, is that you?"

You enter the bureau, ready to start the day as a junior investigator on the trail of a supernatural zombie-commandeering master thief. However, it appears you're either too early, or not in proper dress code (or maybe it's just Very Casual Monday). Looker seems to have taken a page from your father, clad in undergarments and the standardized modern bewilderment that comes with being a curmudgeonly senior citizen.

"How do I....—O-Oh! JUNIOR DETECTIVES! You've returned!... and I've yet to take my shower. Well, at least I can take solace in the fact that you two are early birds, crime waits for no detective! I trust you had a good night's sleep?"

"Good? It wasn't just good, it was adequate!"

"There was an abundance of wordplay, I feel."

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>>383859
"Good, good, so we're starting the day out on the right foot. Erm, on that note, question two—think of this as a pop quiz: Do either of you happen to know what a 'Pokemon GO' is?"

>What do you say next?

>>383877
"Nope, and since I hate being left out of the mainstream opinion, I'll make something up for this guy and pretend to know what it is an- wait, can you guys hear my internal monologue?"

>>383877
"I heard it on the radio, something about phones and walking around. I couldn't really make it out over the sound of beer cans smashing together."

>>383877
"Pokemon GO? That's my new favorite game!"

>>383902
this

>>383877
"A product clearly designed to maximize earnings of company too afraid to dive into modern markets of smartphones but a the same time too desperate to not do so.
In fact, considering lack of vital parts of gameplay, limited character availability and ongoing technical issues suggest great haste accompanying launch and production, as if developers wanted to publish , even if incomplete, any form of the game to gather more funds to finish their product.

tl;dr uNintendo is still 10 years in Jewr... ekhem Economy 101 behind the world, more news at 5pm

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>>383877
[>>383902]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHDtLy407ME
"Nope, and since I hate being left out of the mainstream opinion, I'll make something up for this guy and pretend to know what it is a—wait, can you guys hear my internal monologue? Did I forget my meme green thought arrows?!"

"I see.. so you don't know what it is either, thank you for that theatrical admission. You see, I ask this because the amusing Bidoof correspondent made mention of it during his morning report. Apparently the civilians of this town are using it as a coping device to get their minds away from the despondency of reconstruction and the laughbox conspiracy. I suppose that makes sense since it seems to promote social congregation, outdoor activity, and a feeling of togetherness, I just wish I could understand what it is."

Looker holds up his terribly outdated, inefficient cellular device for all to see. "I've been attempting to look for it all morning. They claim it's a 'mobile game' on the 'app store', but I can't turn any of that up.. What even is the 'app store'? I don't have that on here.. Hrm.. these people have their faces plastered to their phones playing this thing, whereas my face is plastered to this Shellder-shaped thing just trying to find it.. What is any of this?!—"

That's when Serena speaks up, ready to edify you and the private eye into modern times. "Pokemon Go is a free-to-play location-based augmented reality mobile game for iOS, Android, and Holo Caster devices. In lighter words, it.. won't work for the bulky device you're carrying, Mr. Looker."

"Guh! Is that so? No wonder my applications folder only had Solitaire and Solitaire 2000... Er, in that case, what do you 'do' in it?"

"You capture, battle, and train Pokemon just as one would in the real world, except you deal with virtual manifestations of data visually restructured to resemble Pokemon as opposed to the real thing. The gameplay is streamlined and user-friendly, and it encourages wide-scale social interaction with the people and locations around you. Players travel to real-world locations to gain items and catch specific Pokemon and in doing so, learn more about their environment and gain a sense of 'community' by befriending other players,servers permitting of course."

"Wait a minute. How do you know all this?"

"Fufu.~ I was a beta field tester. I've only told you a dozen or so times.."

"Er.. Y-You did? Guess I must have tuned it out.. feels like there was no anticipation for it until it actually came out.."

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>>384417
"Well whatever it is," Looker says as he pockets his useless phone. "The mayor is most grateful for its existence. Not only is it quelling the fear of the general population, it's also keeping them from badgering him with petty pitchfork protesting. He's not exactly a *people* mon... I have a hunch that as long as this '''game''' remains popular, we'll be able to work completely undetected!"

"Yay! Stealthy sleuthing!"

"And what of last night? Were there any reports on that?"

Looker's expression drops the moment more serious matters are brought up. "Ah yes, I was just about to approach that.. You see, friends, it seems our earlier suspicions have been confirmed. North Boulevard has been completely compromised, and the South isn't too far behind. These undead monstrosities appear mindless, but their attacks are definitely coordinated. In order to level the playing field, we'll have to do some daytime investigating—find out who or what could possibly be interested in resurrecting the deceased. By the time night falls again.. we should be more than prepared for another confrontation."

With that declaration, Looker sighs, rubbing his temples. "Auughh.. Between all the zombies, mobile games, and inexplicable wormholes, I'm not sure what to think of this region anymore. Definitely not what I thought coming in.."

A) "It's pretty much the norm for me. You'll get used to it."
B) "Waaaaait a minute....... wormhole...... h u h...."
C) "So we're looking for a witch, huh? An urban witch? Where would those hang out?"

>>384850
B

>>384850
C.

>>384850
C

>>384850
B for spontaneous realization that Clemont exists

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>>384850
The tie was randomized.
"Waaaaait a minute....... wormhole...... h u h....Why does that sound so familiar all of a sudden..... Hrmmmmmmmmmmmm......"

. . .

. . .

. . .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
"OH FUCK—CLEMONT!"

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>>385197
"The last time I saw him and his stupid hot sister and robot is when we went through that wormhole together only to get separated on the way back, and now all these portals are popping up and firing people and.. And I've made literally no effort to find out if they're even still alive or not! OH GOD I'M AS BAD A BUDDY GUY AS I AM A SON, NO SURPRISE THERE THOUGH!"

A) "I'M COMING CLEMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONT"
B) "Oh well I'm sure he'll be fine."

>>385238
A, also phrasing

>>385238
A

>>385238
A

>>385238
A

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>>385238
>The last time I saw him and his stupid hot sister
>Bonnie
>stupid hot

>>385238
A

>>385465
>will never see an older Bonnie.
rip

>>385518
Maybe the wormhole had some side effects.

>>385465
Her tiny little loli toes get me rock hard.

>>385537
Don't get my hopes up.

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>>385238
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNZbE_3wgoE
"I'M COOOOOOOOOMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING CLEMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONT"

Overwhelmed by a sudden irresistible surge of raging bromolust that you are in no way ashamed of advertising, you rummage around in your bag for your easy-to-offensively-mispronounce Holo Causter, then make a beeline for the official bureau broom closet to issue an important call—one so important it took five hours to inwardly-muster the brotherly love necessary for such a suspenseful soul search.

Considering this is a choice you make on your own accord and not one directly influenced by a Flare grunt sitting idly at his cubicle typing in commands for his own amusement, you might just be a little bit gay. Just a little bit. Bi? Most fuccbois are bi. Even your dad's womanizing feels like a bit of a front at times, and his blood isn't even in you.

But then again, true love is one thing, buddy guys are a different can of worms. There's very little, if nothing wrong with loving your buddy guy and displaying your sensitive affections for him—you're just incredibly terrible at showing it and overly-pompous when you are. Clearly Clemont is far too forgiving in you and what your paltry contributions, otherwise he'd have likely cut you loose years ago.

Serena and Looker watch with bewildered faces as you dash into the closet and promptly lock yourself inside. You've already lost a sword, do you really need to lose a geek too?

"Occupado!"

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>>386507
"He... He just locked himself in there.. We were discussing something completely different.. and then he just does that out of nowhere."

"Indeed, it's kind of his thing."

"Does he, erm, always do this?"

"To my knowledge, yes. I've personally come to see it as 'passively-active'."

"How oddly impulsive.."

"It can be inconvenient at times, but also.. exhilarating. If only I were so liberal with life.."

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>>386507
>you dash into the closet and promptly lock yourself inside.

>mfw calem literally needs to come out of the closet

>>386796
Calem raped his other self (mangaverse) in last arc iirc, he's completely fine with being bi.

>>383859
>you two are early birds
But we rode on Rhydon and presumably left around 6.
It probably took us a few hours to get to the city.
What the fuck is a late riser to him, then?

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>>386507
>Holo Causter
i know this joke is old but it still gives me the keks

>LITERALLY the comfy pokemon

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Finally, just what I've always wanted, a sentient inanimate object Pokemon!
>>386707
———————————————————————————————————————————
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bE64n1lDmQ
"Clemont, say it isn't so....YOU'RE ALIVE!"

"Um.. y-yeah, I am.. why wouldn't I be?.. that's a very depressing way to start a conversation.."

"Because I thought you were dead of course!"

"Huh? But.. you called me, why would you call me if you already thought I was dead..?"

A) "I'm not too bright, amigo. I've got issues with hindsight."
B) "I wanted to hear my buddy guy's heartwarming voicemail, imagine my luck when I got the real thing!"
C) "I heard a rumor that you could talk to the ghosts of loved ones by calling them on your Holo Caster!"
D) "Is your hot sister home?"

>>387244
D

>>387244
B

Are you going to hold the SM CYOA too?
Because I have weird feeling that we're up to wild ride plotwise

>>387244
D

>>387244
>B) "I wanted to hear my buddy guy's heartwarming voicemail, imagine my luck when I got the real thing!"

>>387244

B

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>>387244
"I wanted to hear my buddy guy's heartwarming voicemail, imagine my luck when I got the real thing!"

"Oh, r-really? That's nice, I didn't know I meant that much to you. It's funny, a-and a little comforting too, I always had this deep down feeling you hated me, o-or saw me as some inessential supporting character.."

A) "What? You? Noooooooooo! No waaaaaay!"
B) "Baby, you may as well be on the main cast as far as I'm concerned."
C) "How could I possibly hate you? You're basically 'Trevor, but better!'"
D) "You mean my ticket to your thick sister? No, that's crazy talk!"

>>387476
C, its kind of true

>>387476
C, but let D slip out

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>>387476
"How could I possibly hate you? You're basically 'Trevor, but better!.... er, don't tell Trevor I said that, he gets his feelings hurt very easily!'"

>[Meanwhile...]

>>387476
C
if you don't think mimikyu's imitated pikachu cry is the cutest thing ever then get out of my face

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>>387509
———————————————————————————————————————————
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdofmoYcJNE

"My heart... why does it feel like someone just broke it?"

>>387527
>game one is autistic idiot
>anime one is autistic pushover
>now this
Being Trevor is suffering

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>>387527
———————————————————————————————————————————
"Um, your secrets safe with me. Is disowning your best friends all you wanted to talk about, b-buddy guy?"

A) "Pretty much. As long as I know you made it back home okay with no traces of memory loss or other traumatic side-effects, I have nothing to feel sorry about. Stay relatively goldish, ponytaboy!"
B) "Have you seen how much Moomoo Milk costs nowadays? It went up, like, a WHOLE dollar! Who the fuck do they think they are?"
C) "No......................................................................................... I need to know..... about Shaaaaaunaaaaa."
D) "No, now let's talk about that loose caboose sister of yours. Tell me about her little piggies and which ones went to the market."

>>387605
B

>>387605
D.

>>387605
B

>>387534
At least he'll win da Shauna, right?

>>387605
D

>>387605
D, I feel like this option wouldn't be here 3 times unless Nate really wants us to pick it.

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>>387655
There's nothing to be won from that scenario.
>>387605
"No, now let's talk about that loose caboose sister of yours. Tell me about her little piggies and which ones went to the market."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!???!?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
"I said I wanted to know if your sister was alright. I mean, it was a pretty rough ride back."

"Oh, Bonnie? She's fine. She's taking a bath right now. The Clembot suffered some minor damage from the impact—our portal dumped us from pretty high up..—but for the most part we're all well. I'm glad to hear you're okay as well!"

A) "T-That's great, great, THAT'S ALL JUST GREAT..."
B) "Hey, what are buddy guys for? Am I right?"
C) "I imagine you're going to go back to slaving your life away on inventions that don't work, huh?"
D) "A bath you say?"

>>387878
D.

>>387878
>There's nothing to be won from that scenario.
Free puss. He needs something, man.

>all these festering bonniefags coming out the woodwork

Fuck off she's shit

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>>387895
>implying calem doesnt already have a steady diet of sweet, sweet deer filling

>>387878
D

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>>387878
"A bath you say?"

"Yeah, and you know what ELSE has been washing over lately?"

A) "No, what?"
B) "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....... is this a trick question?"
C) "My hands over her petite little waist?
D) 'I wonder if it would be too on-the-nose to say cream...'

>>388039
C.

>>387981
We're talking about poor Trevor here.

>>388039
C
where are we going?
To glorious land of plottwists?
Or to slaughterhouse?

>>388089
What about Tierno?

>>388101
Tierno's already happy.
He'll probably end up hosting Dancing With the Stars, or something, and get a hot wife.
But what does poor Trevor get? He deserves a loyal chocolate waifu, at least.

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>>388039
"My hands over her petite little waist?"

"No... What's washing over everyone lately is...."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffkkLt6nPhY
"POKEMON GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! AHHHHHH—IT'S SO COOL!"

A) "AW WHAT YOU TOTALLY SET ME UP FOR THAT!"
B) "What the hell, I didn't even hear about this game until five minutes ago now everyone's playing it!"
C) "Oh no, you're not going to shill this to me too, are you?"
D) "I heard it sucked!"

>>388116
C
I'm going to miss the /vp/ spoiler image.

>>388116
>C) "Oh no, you're not going to shill this to me too, are you?"

>>388116
C

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>>388116
"Oh no.... you're not going to shill this to me too, are you?"

"Huh? Y-You don't like it, Calem? Why not? It's so innovative! As a connoisseur of science and technology, I just can't deny Pokemon Go's contributions to the medium. Haven't you ever wanted to catch Pokemon on your mobile device before?"

A) "I CAN LITERALLY CATCH POKEMON IN REAL LIFE. IN. REAL. LIFE. RIGHT NOW. WHAT THE HELL WOULD I DO WITH THEM ON MY PHONE? WHAT PURPOSE DOES THIS GAME SERVE IN THIS CONTEXT?"
B) "Not really, no. I don't really like gimmicks. Not after the Wii U, anyway."
C) "I just think it's kind of pointless and stupid. I've got my bros on me right now if I wanna bro it up, don't you?"
D) "Do they do anything besides staying on my phone and taking up space and 4G data?"

>>388176
B.

>>388176
A

>>388176
A

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>>388176
"I CAN LITERALLY CATCH POKEMON IN REAL LIFE. IN. REAL. LIFE. RIGHT NOW. WHAT THE HELL WOULD I DO WITH THEM ON MY PHONE? WHAT PURPOSE DOES THIS GAME SERVE IN THIS CONTEXT?"

"Hmm.... A part of me believes you're not understanding the appeal of the app, buddy guy. See, this is supposed to attract people who wanted to be trainers when they were young but never got to due to circumstance, it feeds on that nostalgia, and that's why it's so popular."

A) "You're a gym leader."
B) "Alright cool, while you and all those other millennials are busy with your phone in your faces, I'll be out catching the real thing."
C) "Nostalgia is overrated, there's a reason why trends and fads die."
D) "There's literally nothing stopping those people from buying a pokeball and catching a Scatterbug right now.

>>388654
D

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>>388654
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-naZCJD8i8
"There's literally nothing stopping those people from buying a pokeball and catching a Scatterbug right now."

"That's true, but not everybody is a fan of Scatterbug. It's very common these days for an ordinary person to have preference toward a mountain or ocean-dwelling Pokemon, but lack the physical prowess and trainer skills needed to battle and catch one. Go lets those people catch their favorites without having to search too far and wide, and I really do mean favorites. The buddy guys behind the game were very selective about which Pokemon to include in the public release. Most of them can't even be found in Kalos at all!"

A) "It doesn't even have all of them!?"
B) "How are they 'fan-favorites' if they can't be found here..?"
C) "That just sounds like a petty shortcut to being the very best. If you really cared, you'd put in the manpower."
D) "What do you mean not everybody likes Scatterbug?!?!?!?!"

>>388739
C

i like where it starts to going.

>>388739
A.

>>388739
C

>>388739
A

>>388739
A

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>>388739
"You mean it doesn't even have all of them!?"

"In their defense, you can't realistically expect them to have all currently-discovered Pokemon available at launch, that's workload on top of workload! I expect to see the rest as downloadable content."

"DLC? Can this game possibly get any more toxic..?"

"Hrm.. I still don't think you're giving it enough credit. Not to mention you're overlooking the impact of its social aspects. How common is it for real world trainers to have constant human traveling companions with them on their journeys? Not too common—you're an exception, not the rule—most trainers are by their lonesome, but with Go you can meet new people all the time! I've been playing from the moment we came back and I've already met five people with Magnemite as their favorite Pokemon!"

"Y-You've been binging this mobile shillfest?!"

"Well of course, why wouldn't I? It's quite the pastime! In fact I'm actually playing it right now! While we've been talking, I caught a Voltorb, a Pikachu, and I almost caught an Electabuzz, but I ran out of pokeballs and it ran away! I'll find another one though, I hear some generous player keeps setting up Lure Modules at all the PokeStops every day. Do you know how much money that is? That's one-hundred PokeCoins, or ₱0.99 per lure, and lures only last for half an hour, and Lumiose City is packed with PokeStops—it must be a king's ransom! For once I feel so grateful to live here!"

"... Honestly, I-I'm a little disappointed you aren't as into it.."

>What do you say next?

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>>389824
WHAT AM I FIGHTING FOOOOOOOR!!

>>389824
It only has pokemon from Kanto pal, Kanto! Who even cares about Kanto?

>>389824
"One guy is spending all that money? That sounds awfully fishy, like that fine sister of yours.

>>389824

"Tell me you didn't fall for the microtransactions."

>>389849
This.
Those sick kants are emotionless sub-humans with squinted eyes and dog-Pokemon-eating tendencies.
Disgusting.

>>389824
You're disappointed.That I have the boingloings to go out and catch an actual pokemon? Make /ACTUAL FRIENDS/ with /ACTUAL/ pokemon? And not some cheap virtual manifestation?

>>389824
It's not my fault that majority of people are even bigger faggotty losers than ever was and I am not going to partake in this craze.

You're buying into fake happiness.
Blatant decoy of joy.
Because you can't be happy on your own.

>>389824
This >>389854

Finally caught up with this chapter Nate and it's honestly been gr8 reading this for the past 3(?) years. This story kept me entertained throughout low and boring times, love you my man.

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>>389824
[>>390022]
[>>390081]
[>>389946]
"You're disappointed.... that I have the boingloings to go out and catch an actual Pokemon? Make ACTUAL FRIENDS with ACTUAL Pokemon? And not some cheap virtual manifestation?"

"I-I thought we could trade once they implemented the feature... also as DLC...."

"Listen buddy guy, I like you so I'm going to be smooth here.. It's not my fault that the majority of people in the world are even bigger faggotty losers than ever was. I'm not going to partake in this forced craze. You're buying into fake happiness. Blatant decoy of joy. Because you can't be happy on your own."

"B-But... but.... augmented reality.....social phenomenon......"

"At least, at the very least buddy guy... Tell me... Tell me you didn't fall for the microtransactions."

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>>390525
"....... I have twelve-thousand PokeCoins."

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>>390613
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vS0iwK207U0
Do not weep.

Do not weep for him.

Do not cry.

Consider death.

Consider suicide.

Hang yourself.

Gas yourself.

Stick a knife in your bum.

For your buddy guy

is now normie scum.

>>390633
>Hex's last words

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>>390633
———————————————————————————————————————————
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvoxVA6Zy9g
"What the..?"

"He's been like that for the past five minutes, just lying there in defeat. I presume that Holo Caster call... got to him."

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>>390670
"Well then tell him to not-be-gotten! We must look alive! I've just received a call of my own on my ancient phone—our mayoral client is requesting us at his office pronto on the grounds of urgent business!"

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>>390708
———————————————————————————————————————————
[STREETS OF LUMIOSE — MORNING GRIND]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cn_vGeaVUzQ
"Mr. Looker.. I've noticed something."

"Hm. Have you now? And what would that be?"

"Emma isn't with us today."

" That's.. correct. She is not. I was hoping it wouldn't be that noticeable, but I suppose it does leave a hollow feeling behind."

A) "Yeah, I was just about to point that out too.."
B) "Maybe she only works as a detective part-time!"
C) "She wasn't really -na material. Maybe if I were dyslexic."
D) "Gee, did she quit already?"

>>391429
D

>>391429
B

>>391429
B

>>391429
C

>>391429
A.

>>391429

A

A

>when you think about where your life would be without nates stories

>>392943
Wildly successful at the cost of monotony and mid-life crisis?

>>392960
>mid-life crisis
How old do you think we are, Nate?
We're all in our early twenties, r-right?

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>>392965
>~20 year olds
>not already going through a mid life crisis

>>392983
>not getting midlife crisis before adulthood
Do you even Zimbabwe, nigga?

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>>391429
"Yeah, I was just about to point that out too. Where the heck did she go? Did something happen to her? I just can't overlook the fact that a character-of-the-week isn't in her designated spotlight-of-the-week!"

"Neither can I. Mr. Looker, you were the last person to see her, correct?"

"That I was. However.. I'm afraid I'm just as informed as you are—I have no clue where she's run off to either."

"What?! She's missing!? Raise the torches, raise the pitchforks, someone rally a search part—!"

https://soundcloud.com/jacobsteakfries/xkanexi6q1kw
"Last night, after the two of you took off, she attempted to take her leave as well. The problem was—she had nowhere to go. She tried explaining herself, mentioned a hideout that had not yet been uncovered by the undead, but I wasn't buying it, nor taking any chances."

"I invited her to stay at the bureau because of those circumstances, I knew I would feel some degree of regret otherwise. I even relinquished the upstairs room to her—the only room. She didn't want to come across as too happy.. but I could tell she was overjoyed."

"She hadn't slept in a real bed in ages—certainly not one as clean—and throughout the night she spoke her mind to her heart's content. I was floored—she told me many things, of life in the slums, the experiences that came with it, and other lofty goals that someone like her 'could only dream of reaching'."

"'But even so' she kept saying, 'if dreaming is all I can do, I'll keep doing it until the day I die'. 'It doesn't cost money. It's free. Everyone has a right to dream.'.. thinking back, that really stuck to me. I told her why she would say such a thing—especially to me of all people—it was almost like flat cynicism with a smile.. to think that she would never be good enough to achieve her dreams, only enough to aspire surpassing them."

File: 526432590.png (715KB, 710x900px)

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>>393082
"'I just thought.. since you told me a sad story earlier today, I should tell you one too.' 'Dreams are free, but so is fate, and sometimes fate's cruel'.. 'I can't read, or write, or do any of those fancy things.. I don't have any family, I have Mimi, but Mimi can't teach. I can't go to school, I don't have money, or nice clothes, or a cozy house, there are a lot of things I don't have..' 'Haha, isn't it pretty dumb to think that I could do anything but dream?'"

"'No.' I told her, 'You can do anything if you put your heart into it,'.. and that's when an epiphany occurred to me. 'And.. And I'll help you!' 'I don't have much either, this town drew me in on a whim, and all I have to my name is the bureau and a little ₱ to pay it off.. but I can at least teach you to read and write!' 'You have a right to dream, but you also have a right to make those dreams a reality, and I'll guide you every step of the way.'"

"When I awoke this morning, not only was the bed empty, it was made."

File: 549289016.png (428KB, 833x1000px)

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>>393090
"Oh my.. to disclose such origins to you so openly, I can see why you may have felt overwhelmed."

"Wait, you mean all this time her backstory's wasn't just some negligible 'fluff' that never gets thoroughly expanded upon or used to its fullest potential like most of the other plot points that came both before and after it this gen, it actually has some depth to it?"

"Indubitably. And with that in mind, I think it's safe to dial back our worries for the time being. Call it a hunch, but that girl knows the city like the back of her hand, she couldn't have gone far, and when she's ready to rejoin us, she most certainly will."

"If you ask me, I'd be more concerned about what lies ahead. We must be ready, willing, able-bodied, nimble, and agile! Always alert in regards to the dangers that lie ahead—be they big, strong alive, undead, OR—"

File: 1469111853161.png (464KB, 450x495px)

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>>393790
———————————————————————————————————————————
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joMizst2dac

"YA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAA!!! YUUUUUUUUNGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSUUUUUUUUUUUUU!UUUUUU!!"

"K-KYAAAAAAAAAAA!!! What in the seven hells is THAT thing?!!??!!!?!?"

A) "Gee, talk about a delayed response. How long were you holding that one in for?"
B) "Huh, looks like a rat of some sort.. I could easily kick its ass!"
C) "Chiiiiiiiiiiill oooooooout, it's just a weasel-y mongoose.. thing.. with Sharpedo teeth... wait."
D) "GAAAAAHHH WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! STOMP ON IT STOMP ON IT STOMP ON IT!"
E) "Oh man, and they told me the designs weren't getting worse.."

>>393815
E

>>393815
B, let's catch it!

>>393815
A.

File: image.png (749KB, 1264x1000px)

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>>392943
>yfw you realize this story is 3 months away from its THIRD YEAR anniversary


A

>>394093
>20th Calem's birthday.

Will we manage to get official wedding ceremony on that day?
You know, to just make it pottery

File: aa1b215033fad2a1166f319f5c2e4e9d.png (451KB, 1596x1878px)

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>>393815
"Gee, talk about a delayed response. How long were you holding that one in for?"

"I was savoring it in the case of an ironically-contrasting scenario in which my words are disproved for the sake of a cheap laugh—I just didn't expect for that scene to come this quickly!"

"AtatatatatataTA! Hurrumph, hold it right there alien scum!"

"Eh—S-Supreme Chief Chancellor Executive President Monarch Mayor Governor Donald Phantrump! It's you!"

"You bet your posterior it is! Don't either of you lay a foreign finger on my campaign manager!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
["EXCLUSIVE EXECUTIVE'S RETREAT" — MAYOR'S OFFICE, LUMIOSE CITY HALL]
"Huh? Campaign manager?!?!?!"

"Yuuuuuuuhuhuhuhuhuh! Yuuuuuun—goooos gooos gooos!"

A) "I-It.. It can't even talk!"
B) "Foreign finger? How did you know that..?"
C) "Hiring a dirty rodent for an electoral campaign.. Is that for you or are you sabotaging someone?"
D) Do the thing like that kids show you don't watch and scan it with the dex.

>>394178
D

>>394178
D

>>394178
D

>>394178
D

>>394178
D

File: 2010145.jpg (388KB, 960x948px)

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>>394178
"How intriguing to see the supposed champion exhibit the telltale traits of a newcomer." Serena muses aloud as she saunters ahead of you, pokedex in hand. "Does this speak more of him, or the falling standards of the league? Fufu."

"H-Hey! Who's side are you on!?"

"One that expresses logic over unprovoked hostility towards unknown wildlife. Honestly, how often does it occur to you that you're in possession of a pokedex?"

"Er... well... th-that's what I have you for, isn't it?! I don't need mobile mumbo jumbo to spoonfeed me the answers—I'll tackle something head-on and that's how I'll know! Capeesh?"

She turns to you, brow raised as her dex turns on. "That's also how you get bruises, scrapes, and concussions. How fortunate you are to have me to keep you both in shape and in line."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60G2tgmlMYM
"Now, let us see what this device has to say about you.."

"Ya ha ha ha ha—Yuuuuun-yuuun goos goos goooooos!"

>[#??? — YUNGOOS (Yangoose - ヤングース) — THE LOITERING POKEMON]
>[Normal Type | Abilities: Stakeout / Strong Jaw]
>[Height 1'04" 0.4 m | Weight 13.2 lbs. 6.0 kg]

>[Not in Any Registered Pokedex. Juvenille. Big appetite. No Further Information Found.]

"Oh my.. Not located in any registered dex? I wasn't expecting that.."

"But isn't your dex a National Pokedex? How does that work? It should know every Pokemon! Here, let me try mine-that-I-never-use!"

>[No Further Information Found.]

"What?!? How the hell does that work!? Bahhh, I told you technology is finicky, it never works when you need it to. Advance and modernize it all you want it's still going to break down now and then."

A) Approach the Yungoos and 'tackle it head-on'.
B) Why don't you just keep your distance, big guy?

>>396278
B

>>396278
B

>>396278
A, catch it

>>396278
A

NO, YUSUKE

>>396278
B

>>396278
B.

File: da6cz95.png (105KB, 505x564px)

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>>396278
"Yaaaaaaaahnn—goos goos goooos"

You genuinely aren't sure whether the rodent is merely overly-asserting its punny name to you or dunking on your mother in its native tongue. Regardless, its habitual shiteating grin does wonders to piss you off.

Just as you make way to punt it to the next region over however, Looker steps in to intercept, an anxious look on his face. "E-Erm, mayor, forgive them! They didn't mean anything by it. I'm sure your campaign decisions are your own business, hardly our concern!"

"I should hope so!" the mayor snaps back, only to promptly start sniffing the disturbed air surrounding him. "Hrrrm.. Hold the phone, this young man is foreign.. He hides it well, but the nose knows."

"Yaahahhhngooos goos goos!"

"Ah, yes! These are my new cohorts, erm, junior detectives. They're assisting me on the night raid case, which as I recall you wished to discuss with us and—"

"WELL I SUPPOSE I CAN'T FAULT YOU FOR CHEAP LABOOOOOR..." the mayor cockily chimes. "I know it's incredibly contradictory to my policies and public image, but work is work, and immigrants will work for just about anything. My right-hand man Eddie Buckets sprained a nasty gullet and two ankles just hiring this rat-looking thing for my reelection campaign. Can you believe he only works for food? All I have to do is feed him this tart, artificially-manufactured cheese-flavored toothpaste once every hour on the hour and he's satisfied!"

"Goos goos goos!"

File: tumblr_nxcgcbidKr1rd4ymxo1_500.gif (2MB, 500x281px)

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>>396629
"Some faraway region is exporting these twitchy packrat-pests at a steal, no catch, no questions asked, they just want them gone. Buckets couldn't resist and snagged one up to employ as the official mascot for my reelection campaign. I call him Trumpgoos! And together we aim to maintain the greatness of this humble region!"

"YaaaaHA HA HA HA! Goosgoos!"

"OF COURSE I trust you won't go around telling these inside secrets to my ace rival—QUILLARY CLINTON! I may have been sworn into office by default due to my predecessor getting chuckle-chafed, but it's never too early to begin preparations for next year's election! Quillary knows this, and will use any dirty secrets she can get her mitts on to ensure the public doesn't vote for yours truly! And in times like this, I need the public to believe in their leader!"

>>396751
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82ANkjVEpYk
"There's also Bernie Sandile, but uh, just between you and me.. no one votes for him either way."

File: A54.gif (443KB, 500x278px) Image search: [Google]

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>>396815
———————————————————————————————————————————
>[MEANWHILE. . . ]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdofmoYcJNE
"It's .... not .... fair!"

File: Chap417p16Looker.png (37KB, 353x440px)

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>>396826
———————————————————————————————————————————
"Uh, those are all delightfully amusing, mayor. But don't we have far more urgent matters to discuss? What else would you call us here for?"

"Oh! R-Right. That. Thaaaaat. You see, I'll be blunt for the sake of all of us—I was planning on shamelessly offloading an irrefutable burden onto you for the duration of your investigation."

"Huh?"

"Shamelessly offload?!"

"Irrefutable burden?"

"Yes yes, and TRIPLE yes! If the three of you could please dramatically turn ninety degrees to your left. You'll see what I'm talking about."

A) Turn ninety-degrees to the left.
B) Turn ninety-degrees to the right.
C) Perform a 180 and walk away.

>>396884
B, obviously he's talking about his left

>>396884
A.

>>396884
C

>>396884
C
we can't do that to him.

>>396884
C, and slap on a Hillary sticker on your hat while you do it

>>397022
We don't want Calem to fall violently ill.

>>397022
Plz no

>>397022
So she can employ us to go to some Bukfuckistan and bury dozed bodies here?
Nah.

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>>396884
You're smart enough to know to not perform a 360 and walk away because that leads you nowhere, but not smart enough to know that performing a 180 in this particular instance leads you directly into a wall.

"Agh, my face! FRIENDLY FIRE!!"

Fortunately neither of your tagalong pals are stupid enough to make the same mistake, and promptly perform an about face to reveal..

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>>397565
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4h1cx9mfOkw
"He said LEFT troglodyte! LEFT!"

A princess who has been standing in the room the entire time.

"W-What?!" Looker exclaims in pure shock. "Pr-Princess Diancie of the Diamond Domain?!?!?! But how?! Not to be rude but, you weren't expected to be in town for another week at best!"

The mayor bluntly clears that misfired bit of judgment up, scratching the back of his head while doing so.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGRIxbdSKHU
"Erm. Yes. About that. Change of plans. She's here early."

"Ya ha ha hah GOOS!"

A) "Well, can we tell her to go back home? We have a lot on our plate as is!"
B) "Isn't it dangerous for a lady like her to be here when there's-a zombies about?"
C) "Who the hell is this sparkly rock-looking thing?"
D) Immediately pledge your undying loyalty to her.

>>398253
A

>>398253
D.

>>398253
A

>>398253
B

>>398253
B

>>398253
D

>>398253
I'd pick D, but Calem has already pledged his loyalty to Serena like 100 times already

B

>>398253
B. There's enough Scooby-Doo shit going on without having to worry about royalty too.

>>396826
>>396815
What about Sleepy Koalarson(The new koala)? Jeb Tree(Turtwig)? Ratata Cruz(Ratata)?

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>>398253
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTrIvFy2Eos
Indeed, what you see before you is no illusory mirage or sleight of hand. Your unworthy assets are standing in the presence of world-renowned mythical monarch and cliffside beauty—Princess Diancie, as stewarded by her grossly underpaid (which is to say, not at all) Carbink servant. No worries, any cases of starstruck are completely and totally justified.

If only you could have been graced with her pretty pebbly presence literally any other day of the year. The one time, the one time of the year she chooses to awaken and spread goodwill.. and it's right in the middle of a regional crisis. Needless to say, such ill-timed attendance raises more than a few concerns amongst your party.

"Huh? Came early?" you echo, scrambling to get off the floor while also not trying to make a fool out of yourself in the presence of rocky royalty. "But uh, isn't it a bit too dangerous for a little rock lady like her to be here when there's-a zombies about?"

"Ohhh.. I was hoping you'd ask that!" the mayor chimes, much to everyone else's anxiety.

Suddenly, as if ignited by the discussion, the Carbink servant hobbles forward with a hop. "And how!" he exclaims, fluffy white collar furrowing. "Yes, yes! Indeed! That is exactly what I told her! And I shall say it once more, I express our sincerest, deepest, and utmost apologies for our premature arrival! I told her, I told her multiple times I did! I expressly warned milady of the unprecedented dangers that were being reported as of late! I told her it was foolish, thoroughly unsafe, and a horrid case of mal judgment if she were to make way for this providence at this present time! And did she listen? I would have liked to believe so, but alas—there's a reason I come attached to her hip—GUUUHHHH!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9i4T6nRPC1Q
"DACE!! I've long since made my choice stop crying about it, and who authorized you to speak?!"

"U-Ungh.. N-Nobody, milady, I spoke on my own accor—ACK!"

"You will speak only when spoken to!"

A throbbing lump sprouts from Dace's head, and he promptly collapses without another word. "You know," the mayor begins. "Usually this would be the part where I tell you not to get too comfortable with her, buuuuuut I'm going to go out on a limb and request the exact opposite of you—Mr. Looker and his intern-cronies, consider yourselves incredibly super lucky! For I humbly-not-so-humbly relinquish the princess into your care! In other words, I request—demand—that you chaperone, escort, and generally keep her out of harm's way for the duration of her stay and assessment of our capital!"

File: 395644730.jpg (107KB, 1080x1776px)

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>>400006
"What? Th-That's absurd, mayor! We're in the middle of a dire investigation, an investigation you put us on, we're hardly in the right state of mind to form an entourage!"

"Yeah, ditto! And not the mon!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
"I will literally double your paycheck right now if you take her off my hands."

A) ON SECOND THOUGHT perhaps that was too hasty a reaction!
B) You won't be swayed so easily!

>>400025
B
Demand absolute debt relief and governmental program to hire Palkia to replace destroyed moon

>>400025
A, moon or no moon, we're still in debt

>>400025
B. Throw in some cheese flavored toothpaste.

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>>400025
[>>400045]
"Nice try," you haughtily taunt. "But the Looker Bureau won't be swayed so easily!..........."

"... unless there was some cheesy toothpaste involved."

"Done."

"Y-Yangooooooss?!?!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1s37Cuyrxg
>Mythical Pokémon — Diancie joined your party!

"Jora jora jora~, brand new bodyguards and my only impression of them is that they're unable to tell left from right? Please tell me you're jesting."

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>>400146
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z45x93OTJ3E
"On the contrary, your mountainous majesty, I like to think of myself as being being deathly serious right now. You heard your servant, didn't you? There's quite the buzz-buzz going on right now."

"YaaaahaaaaaaHA! Goos goos!"

Of course, not even the mayor's attempt at formalities protects him from also being lashed out at. "Hush your mouth this instant! You're the one bartering me to these shady goons in the first place, as if I'm some sort-of object to be traded about as you please! You've no room to pull rank on anyone, [byou irresponsible pygmy!"

"! Hmph, tough crowd.." the mayor mumbles.

Diancie hops forward and confronts Looker with a petulant moue, having deduced him as the leader of your party. "And as for you, I'll be the one who decides what is absurd and what is not. Is that clear? I've caught wind of the warnings, I've heeded the advice of others, and yet I have arrived in spite of it all. Once I have awoken, there is absolutely no impeding the annual spreading of harmony, no matter how early or how late I arise. I am a slave to no schedule, and I will not return home!"

The private eye gulps, genuinely taken aback by her snappy tone. "U-Understood."

"This town shall either sink or swim by the time I'm done assessing it, and you will either be on its sole lifeboat or drowning alongside it!"

A) "Aye aye, captain!"
B) "No worries mademoiselle, I'm much better at battling and protecting pretty ladies than I am at telling my left from my right!"
C) "That's one stubborn tradition.."
D) Sic the wife on her.

>>400596
D, there's other one woman allowed to talk to you like that.

>>400603
Only one*

>>400596
B.

>>400596
D inb4 she sides with Diancie

>>400596

C.

>>400596
C

>>400596
D
This has some mayhem-inducing prospects
I want to see the mayhem

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>>400596
>[#719 (#151) — DIANCIE (ディアンシー) — THE JEWEL POKEMON]
>[Rock/Fairy Type | Abilities: Clear Body]
>[Height 2'04" 0.7 m | Weight 19.4 lbs. 8.8 kg]

>[Mythical Pokemon. A sudden transformation of Carbink, her pink, glimmering body is said to be the loveliest sight in the whole world. She can instantly create many diamonds by compressing the carbon in the air between her hands, and awakens once every year to share these riches with others.]

>[Pokemon Successfully Registered!]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NG1RJMwlhs
"Excuse me, you there! Human! What on earth do you think you're doing, pointing that nuisance doodad at me?"

"Oh, me?" Serena looks up from her dex to find Diancie accosting her, no kinder than she was with Looker. "This 'doodad' is a Pokedex. I thought it wise to scan you for information given your long-winded mythos."

A small grin tugs at the corner of her lips. "Don't you agree that getting to know your clientele is smart, if not common sense? Fufu~, or does sound judgment frighten you?"

The princess blinks, taken aback, and adjusts her snark and barb accordingly. "Jora jora jora jora~ My my, what have we here? I almost tempted to take pity on you, no one informed me I had a guard with a big mouth."

"It's no bigger than the gem on your forehead, milady. Do not credit yourself too much."

"Hmph! You talk of big game and have the fashion to match, but you're still just a commoner. Has your mother informed you it's time to stop playing dress-up?"

"No, but she has notified me that it is time for you to go back to bed. It's past your bedtime."

"Are you so vacuous you even answer rhetorical questions?"

File: 1451977988537.png (301KB, 486x590px) Image search: [Google]

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>>402154
"I don't know, milady. Do you?"

File: 4189826122.jpg (478KB, 988x1200px)

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>>402172
"Pssssshhhh, women, amirite?"

"..Is that also a rhetorical question? At any rate, I'm married to justice."

>>402172
Doujin Serena a best.

File: 210520161835.jpg (220KB, 600x400px)

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>>402247
"I find no surprise there," the princess openly remarks as she crosses the room. "Only the blind would favor a man like you. Jora jora jora~"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjYeMQLatc4

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>>402334
As Looker reels, wallowing in the shard remains of his shattered ego, the princess approaches you next. Her mouth opens, possibly to quip something just as soul-crushing, but she stops herself before anything concrete comes to mind.

"Hm. I would mock you as well, but you seem to be doing a firm job of that on on your own. Jora jora jora~"

>What do you say next?

>>402411
An incredibly lifelike imitation of a Mega Scizor's cry.

>>402411
"Fuck you, you're a low class waifumon that even a furry wouldn't touch."

>>402411
Make a show of bowing deeply and say, "I am merely the best inadequacy has to offer, and royalty deserves nothing less."

>>402587
This.

>>402587
But we're not inadequate, we've saved /worlds/, countless lives, got a half quarter gain, won the pokemon championship league, defrosted the ice queen and won her love, if anything we're too good for her.

>>402748
My dude you ain't hot shit if you can't pay off your debts

>>402761
Yeah, but we're working towards paying it off.

File: 1469323653225.png (297KB, 526x523px)

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Look at -this- wife.

File: myfaceliterallyrightnowwhen.png (264KB, 365x363px)

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>>402411
Nothing, just give her this look

>>402411
>>402587
It's a shame her name isnt Dianciena

>>402411
Let out a loud belch.

>>402411
mumble "Vstavaj prokliatem zaklejmennyj,
Ves mir golodnykh i rabov!" under breath.

>>402442
This

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>>402411
[>>402434]
[>>402587]
The princess' fleeting amusement at your expense translates to you as a serious assessment of character. Despite all that you've done, all that you've seen, all the shins you've kicked, it all means nothing if a floating rock says as such. And so, in an act of pure submission to a faulty reality check, you fall on one knee, dip your head, and boldly profess your deficiencies with the low, guttural tone of a Mega Scizor.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9bjY3E_PhI
"I'm sorry, milady. I am merely the best inadequacy has to offer, and royalty deserves nothing less."

Surprisingly, this response elicits the most positive reaction out of her yet, or at least, one that's not as snippy.

"Hm... I take it back. I like you." Diancie declares after a moment's worth of pondering. "The jacket is the epitome of tacky and I could do without the hat, but you're far too simple-minded to talk back. I think you'll perform splendidly in the lackey field. Consider yourself fortunate. You may have the luxuriating honor of carrying my bags. Jora jora jora~"

"T-Thank you, milady! I don't deserve such kindness, accept a thousand pardons for my ineptitude, and an oil rig of gratitude for your mercy! Be they physical, mental, or emotional, I'll carry any weights you impose on me until the day I expire, space cowboy!"

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>>405412
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRqlPK45fNs
"Now, let us return to you." Diancie declares as she snaps back to your wife. "The one that does talk back."

"Oh my, was demeaning my companions to better your sense of self-worth simply not enough for you?"

Dismissing her sharp tongue, the princess places her hands on her hips and exhales. "Were this employ under any other context, I would unquestionably have you banished on the spot. I am willing to settle though, so long as you tell me the source of your unwarranted hostility."

A) "I just call it as I see it."
B) "Because you remind me of a mirror."
C) "It comes with the transition of going from the 'guarded' to the 'guard'."
D) [Anon choice].

>>405677
A

>>405677
B.

>>405677
deepu
3deepu5me
>B

>>405677
A

>>405677
B.
;_;

>>405677
B for deepest lore

>>405677
B for secret plot dump

>Nate has been storytiming nonstop since July began

Can I get an ABSOLUTE MADMAN over here?

File: 1444089413307.jpg (155KB, 666x666px)

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>>406170
>>408068
Hey hey hey

No

Cut that out.

File: calemno.jpg (19KB, 157x176px)

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>>408021
>yfw "Nate" is actually just a group of koalas trapped in a room that each take turns writing stories for us

>>408334
I thought we were the koalas.

>>408454
You're a Koala.

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>>408460
>tfw all Aussies are emus in disguise
>since the day they lost the Great Emu War

>>408467
There's a /pol/ screencap of that.

>>408532
I know

>>408536
Woah, you were fast.

>>408541
>VERY_fast_anon_posting_at_incredible_hihg_speed.jpg

>>408556
I laffed

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Thanks for the Komala sub-arc idea.
>>408021
Clearly the cure to a long hiatus is a high-key marathon.
>>405677
Now that you think about it, that's actually a pretty good question, and probably the smartest thing to come out of her mouth yet. What could your waifu possibly have against this rocky damsel to treat her so passive-aggressively? As far as you know, this is the first time either of them have ever met. Legendaries don't exactly come in high quantities, and even though you've been on countless adventures, you can count the ones you've encountered on one hand, maybe two.

With a hand at her chin, Serena thinks, but doesn't think for long. The answer comes to her after a moment's worth of shallow musing. "Hm.. I suppose you could say.. It's because you remind me of a mirror. That's all."

"A m-mirror?" the princess stutters. "And just what is that supposed to mean?" she asks, unappreciative of her ambiguity.

"Oh, nothing too complex—just that I happen to see shades of my former self in you, or to be more precise, an exaggerated caricature of my former self. See, I've met many Pokemon during my travels, many that can inexplicably communicate coherently, many that were obnoxious, and many that were an unstable mix of the two—but you're the first to make me feel such serendipity. Surely you don't mind if I you don't mind if I revel in that irony by poking holes in your disposition, hmm?"

"Exaggerated caricature? Obnoxious? Unstable mix? NON-CONSENSUAL POKING? KYAAAAAAAA!!!"

"W-Wait! Wait! Milady, no! Please, calm yourself!! This isn't the time nor place!!"

Unconsciously sensing trouble on the horizon, Dace snaps out of his momentary coma just in time to stop Diancie from going full ham on your wife. "Oooooh!! Why must I be forced to cooperate with such lowly misfit scum!?! And who allowed you to speak AND interrupt my ranting?!!?!?"

"P-Princess Diancie, please! We've no choice! We must set aside our differences and cooperate with these people if you are to assess their capital and fulfill your duties, this isn't our kingdom anymore!"

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>>409225
"Finally!" the mayor exclaims with a sigh. "Some—albeit begrudging—semblance of cohesion! Can I finally get a word in now, before the lot of you all sperg out again like babbies?"

"Yun yun, YUNGOOSUUU! YA HA HA HA HA!!"

Left with no objections, the mayor continues. "As I was saying.. You'd do right to listen to your curmudgeonly crony, your mineral majesty. I was aiming to have this whole conspiracy cleared up before your arrival, but things didn't pan out that way. There's no use hiding the Donphan in the room anymore—The fact of the matter is: there is truth to the warnings you've been given, milady. Our town is under siege by marauders of the night, it's not something to take lightly.. especially because.. if recent rumors are to be believed.."

"You are at the top of their hit list."

>>408074
Sorry, I forgot I had already posted

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>>409329
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7t2AMjtVv28
The room collectively loses its shit, even your wife drops her smug 'tude at the news.

"Assassins?!" Dace cries, shivers running through his body and making his stony ears stand on-end. "T-Targeting the princess!? T-This is absurd—no no, this an outrage, for what purpose would you willingly withhold such information until now!?"

"Don't worry, I'm sure he means 'hit' as in 'hit on'!"

"Goodness, now they're singling out specific prey?"

"Goos goos gooosuuu!"

For once, Diancie drops her haughty facade for one of shock. "Targeting.. me?" she asks in a whisper, hand over her mouth.

Looker is more pensive than fearful, and is the first to surmise a conclusion from that intel. "Assailants specifically targeting the diamond princess... I see.. so that's why..."

"You catch on quick for a foreigner," says the mayor. "I knew I was right to hire an immigrant for the job! So you get the idea I'm raising here, yeah? Our lovely monarch's annual awakening can't be stopped or rescheduled once it begins, regardless of the circumstances surrounding her. Once it starts she has to fulfill it, even if everyone around her has bigger fish to fry. Buuuuuuuuuuut—if the rumors are true and these 'big fish have heard about her arrival and are feasting their eyes on her, then that could only mean..."

"What better way to keep the princess safe during her stay than by attaching her to the hips of the very people assigned to detain her assassins!"

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>>410402
"While that is.. rational sir, I thought I made it clear to you over the phone—what we're dealing with is no ordinary run-of-the-mill menace!"

Looker pauses to whisper exclusively to the mayor, likely to preserve the princess' sanctity. "We've seen them with our own eyes, they're not alive nor are they dead—they're undead! We're dealing with sheer witchcraft!!"

"So?" Phantrump says with a shrug. "I'm not alive nor spinning in my grave and you don't see me losing sleep over it. You and your interns will do fine, especially with that immigrant's intuition of yours. Just zap zap tap the witch controlling these creatures and I'm sure they'll all fall with her. Just like dominoes, you play dominoes back in whatever backwater region you came from?"

"But sir, I still don't think—"

"Triple pay, my fellow Elgyem. Triple pay. Remember those stakes? The deal? You can't walk out on me. I put all my chips on your little freelance fiesta! Let's not forget, you technically already soiled your deadline to have this case closed before the princess' arrival. You should be lucky I'm still giving you advice on how to fix this, because you're only digging yourself a harder grave the more you prolong this whodunit, amigo."

"..."

"The people of this city are counting on you. You're their lifeline, the people need morale and they need it now! Lumiose has been in a deep depression ever since that stupid moon disappeared—half the town can't laugh anymore, the other half is still being reconstructed, and from what I hear—the cheap chump responsible for the collateral damage won't pay up! When I get my hands on him.."

It's no humble coincidence that at this point, you shy into the corner.

"Princess Diancie's arrival was supposed to revitalize us, rejuvenate us, her sparkling approval was 'sposed to bring us the hope we needed to recover from these string of traumas! Now the only reason my citizens even get out of bed in the morning is to play a broken smartphone game!"

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>>410471
"Don't you see how messed up this is?!?!?! OPEN YOUR EYES! SMELL THE LOW-DETAILED POLYGONS IN THE AIR Every waking, seething moment from the day the moon died has been nothing but tragedy after tragedy! I'VE BEEN GIVEN CONTROL OF A SINKING SHIP SINCE DAY DAMN ONE!"

"Haah...hah.... I'm sorry, but I've just about lost all morale myself. You need to capture this crook or it's curtains for you, muchacho. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. You need to apprehend that sorceress' ass, show Diancie the time of her friggin' life, and protect my people's smiles!.. or this city won't live to see another election. Capeesh?"

Looker is hesitant to respond, but ultimately answers with a resounding. ".. Capeesh, sir."

"And that goes to his interns too! Are we capeesh!?"

A) Capeesh.
B) Not capeesh!

>>410557
B, what does capeesh even mean?

>>410557
A

>>410557
A

>>410557
A.

>>410557
A

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>>410557
Man, how do you get yourself involved in situations like these? Maybe you're just too heroic for your own good, now you and your buddies are being held responsible for solving this big damn case and there's nothing you can do to get out of it.

"I understand." says Serena, no arguments, no harm, no foul. "I'll do everything I can to apprehend the mastermind behind these crimes."

"Hm, easier said than done.." the mayor grumbles before turning to you. "And you?"

Turns out the mayor is something of a two-face behind closed doors. You're not sure if you're completely comfortable with signing the dotted line Phantrump is offering, but it is true that people's smiles are at stake, that much is undeniable. Refuse, and those miserable people will be glued to their smartphones tossing balls at virtual pocket monsters for false amusement... forever.

In the end, you nod with a simple "Capeesh." but the capeesh you give him is more for the sake of the town and its inhabitants, rather than him.

"Then it's settled," says the mayor while crossing his stubby spooky arms. "Solve the crime, jail the punk behind it, convince Diancie to give us a passing score, and you'll get your reward and we'll all be just dandy. In order to ensure that you stay on track—and don't try to skip out—I'm putting your little bureau on Official Mayoral Lockdown. You may not under any circumstances leave Lumiose City until the case is solved. I trust these terms are okie-dokie?"

"They.. They are, sir."

"Then I dismiss you! Toodles, good luck, and have a wonderful day!~"

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Next post is the next thread.
>>411160
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkaKbUokgbY
Your party, now with Diancie in tow, leaves through the door, leaving Mayor Phantrump sit in his big damn chair and mull over petty mayoral matters aloud while stroking Trumpgoos' fur.

"Hm... In retrospect, it kind of stings to lie to people, doesn't it? Especially to their face."

"YahahaHA! Yungoooosgoosgoos!"

"I mean, it's not so much lying than it is.. concealing the facts."

"Goos goos goooooos!"

"Maybe I overreacted a little. It is true that people are depressed, losing hope, banking all their amusement on a shittastic smartphone app..."

"Yahahaha!"

"Yes.. but to be honest.. That's something of a loooow priority. Something tells me those sleuths wouldn't be so interested in helping me if I told them it was to better my public image."

"Goos goos gooooos."

"I've read the imageboards, the messageboards, the forums! I know what those bitter baby boomers have been saying about me. That silly phone game is the only thing keeping them from raising their pitchforks at me! I'll never win their vote next year unless I can convince them I'm a good candidate, and what better way to do that than be the mayor who solves the latest and greatest crimespree, the mayor who receives the honorary respect, admiration, and approval of the princess of the Diamond Domain? Quillary won't stand a chance!"

"HA HA HA HA! Yungoos!"

"Right, right. I'm not a bad guy. I just.. have my own agenda. At the end of the day, this is still a necessary problem that needs to be looked into. Besides, isn't politics essentially the pinnacle of underlying tactics and deceit?"

"Goos goos!"

"I figured.."

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>>411501
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
"Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii"

"A-Ah! Princess Diancie's steward. You're... You're still here. You're the only one still here."

"Mm. That is correct."

"...I'm guessing by process of elimination.. you're out of a job for the time being?"

"That.. would also be a correct assumption."

"Goos goos goos."

"I see..."

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>>411521
"Well, fuck it. I'm not going to sit here and entertain you until they come back, I'm the goddamn mayor!. I've got like sixty-something iPads just lying around here. Pick one up and we'll watch bizarre nursery rhymes and humans playing with dolls and pretending they're actual people together."