Scrumptious Calem and Kuudere Serena's Tubular Voyage Part

File: k7TYQAa.png (7KB, 320x289px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 320x289px

>>354110
"It just blows my mind! How do they do it?! It's nothing but fresh innovation after innovation! What's more, the gameplay gives me the perfect excuse to go outside—so it promotes EXERCISE! I can go to places I would have never gone to otherwise, meet and annoy new people, loiter in places I shouldn't loiter, get mugged in places I've never been mugged before! The possibilities are endless! And with microtransactions this inexpensive, wowie, you'd be a sucker not to buy!"

"..Now if only these servers could stop acting up so I can catch that Gastly."

>Has SCIENCE gone too far?
A) Crash land into this millennial.
B) Spare him.

>>354115
A) Crash land into this millennial.

...What is going on?

A) Crash land into this millennial.
TELL THIS FAGGOT.

>>354115
B

>>354115
A

>>354115
A

>>354115
Dynamic entry best entry
A

File: 1384629135588.gif (169KB, 200x240px) Image search: [Google]

169KB, 200x240px

>>354115
"Hmm.. Maybe these connectivity issues are from my end? I doubt it, but—"

"............haaaaaaaaaawwwwww............"

"Wuhwah? The heck was that? Some noise? Oh well, must've been my imagina—"

"...luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu..."

"There it goes again! Who could be up this late? Maybe a Pokemon? A 3DPD one? But how—"

"OH GOD FATASS WATCH THE FLYING FLIP-FLOPPING FUCK OUT"

"W-Wha—!?"

File: E1LMwVM.jpg (990KB, 1097x1920px) Image search: [Google]

990KB, 1097x1920px

>>354348
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-lmaPnnD4g
"CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Luchy quite literally suplexes you back to ground level, and the resulting cataclysmic collision is so utterly devastating that it causes an impact crater half the size of the town. It's a sight to behold, and honestly the only real action your hometown has seen in months.

Strangely, when the aftershocks cease and the dust subsides, the fanatic is nowhere to be found. All that remains of his sad, mortal existence.. is his 28% charged smartphone.

"Ohhh man..." you groan, rubbing your aching head. "I told him to watch out.."

Luchy, smoking and lying in a crater-within-a-crater, caws with a weak thumbs up. "Chaaaaaaaaaaaa....."

File: 5492890123.png (375KB, 800x960px) Image search: [Google]

375KB, 800x960px

>>354359
"Are you two perhaps done with this 'bit' yet?" Serena asks as she peers into the crater. Strangely, even though she was also suplexed, she's completely unharmed and isn't even within the crash site (meanwhile you're showing early signs of spontaneous scoliosis).

"We have somewhere to be."

A) "Boooooooo, no fun allowed much?"
B) "Just squeezing out all the fun I can before it all gets replaced by unbearable parental cringe, don't mind me."
C) "Shut up baby, I know it, just arriving in style."
D) "What the—How did you..?"
E) "You sure we can't just stay here and wrestle? I mean, what if she's asleep, we don't want to bother her!"

>>354404
B.

>>354404
D

>>354404
C

>>354404
E

>>354404
A, just to make it a 5 way tie

Did we just murder someone who was enjoying a mobile game?

>>354570
Calem literally lanced a guy at the beach with his dick, we are not in unfamiliar territory here

>>354404
D

>>354404
C

>>354591
Hey to be fair that guy deserved it.

>>354404
B

File: image.jpg (24KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 480x360px

>>354694
And to be honest, he does the same thing to serena every night

Blame Josh.

>>354404
D) "What the—How did you..?"

File: 4496943525.png (310KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

310KB, 500x500px

>>354570
>enjoying a mobile game
ahahahaha

>>354404
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
You marvel at Serena in a mix of both confusion and awe. "What the—How did you..? Tell me how you did that!"

"Would if I could, but we haven't the time to be dawdling around. Besides, such cinema magic is above your skill levels. It would be a disrespectful waste to disclose its secrets and spoil the charm."

You glance away for just one second to get dust out of your eye, but in that second, Serena disappears and seemingly reappears right next to you, grabbing at your collar and dragging you out of the crater. "G-Gah! What the?! You did it again! Woah, wait, hold on! I just realized! I didn't even get my T-shirt yet!"

"Chaaaaaa haaaawww!"

"What do you mean mail-order?!"

File: 2004445.jpg (480KB, 594x666px) Image search: [Google]

480KB, 594x666px

>>356505
———————————————————————————————————————————
Once at the forefront of the winner's circle and the talk of the town, Rhyby the Rhyhorn has seen better days, or at least far more livelier ones. Your modest pet Rhyhorn was one of the last things you paid farewell to on your way out of town, and turns out, years later, he's no different than he was when you left, he's even in the same spot.

"...horrn...

Rhyby lounges on a blanket in the front yard, half-asleep half-awake, his usual stance, but it's certainly not one that isn't well-deserved. Rhyby was once a star Rhyhorn, and your mother his rhyder. Together they took trophies across the globe, region to region, coast to coast, an unstoppable dynamic duo of racing prowess!..... alas their streak came to an end the moment your mother got knocked up.

The tabloids were everywhere. Rumors and gossip were nonstop. The paparazzi wanted every little iota of information they could possibly get their hands on through whatever means possible. Needless to say, it was a pretty big scandal for the time. When it came time for a decision to be made, your mother decided to take responsibility and throw in the towel for your sake, she and Rhyby dropped out of their career for good and retired into the shadows, and gradually their pestering fans came to move on to the next big overhyped thing.

That was years ago. Today, Rhyby's track days are far behind him, but his golden years are just getting started. Actually, he may even be older than Luchy.

A) Wake Rhyby up by rubbing his rocky hide.
B) Rhyby mistakes you for an intruder. Cue shenanigans.
C) Leave Rhyby be, he dindu nuffin.

>>356509
A

>>356509
A

>>356509
B

>>356509
I think obliterating a guy from existence is enough shenanigans for now

A

>>356509
A.

File: 482345560.jpg (179KB, 900x1125px) Image search: [Google]

179KB, 900x1125px

>>356509
"Oh wow, Rhyby! You're still alive!"

"An astute observation.. though my concern is why that's your first.."

Upon being dragged into your yard, you hurry over to Rhyby on account of literally having never seen him for years. Though the rhino comes across as a hulking, insatiable pachyderm powerhouse with the scars to prove it, he's actually just a big softie with a heart of (g)old. A racer in his prime, battling was never Rhyby's forte, but it's not like that's a bad thing. There are tons of Pokemon out there who never find themselves aiming for the horn—hell, there's an entire ranch dedicated to breeding Skiddos just so they can give urban youth cheap rides

"Psssssssst... pssssssssssssssst... Rhyby, Rhybyyyyyy?" you whisper. When that doesn't work, you start rubbing circles in his rocky pelt. "You awake? I'm not here to rip your laughbox out, I just wanna chill with my horny homie."

"Swing and a miss,"

Rhyby is slowly stirred awake by your misconstructions. "Hooooorrrrrnnnnn...." he growls, flexing his spiked ridges. If you're hoping for some sort of bombastic reaction to elicit from your old pal, there's the zenith of it.

His eyes slowly flutter open, and then widen at the sight of your big dumb mug—honestly, he was convinced you had died. Given your long absence, it was a pretty accurate prediction up until now. "Rhhyy...."

A) "Yeah, that's right, I'm back, and champion. Have you been kee~ping out of trouble?"
B) "What do you mean you thought I was dead? I thought you were dead!"
C) Give him a pokepuff for affinity.
D) "You remember Serena, right? You saw like, maybe a glimpse of her way back when. Just between you and me, I've got a good rhythm going."

>>357093
D

>>357093
D.

>>357093
D

>>357093
A) "Yeah, that's right, I'm back, and champion. Have you been kee~ping out of trouble?"

>>357093
D, because it's just spergy enough for calem

>>357283
You think at this point Calem would know how to keep his sperg in check and act more like his hunk stepdad

>>357485
Nah, while Calem manages keeping sperginess at bay quite good recently, I don't think he should emulate his stepdad. I mean, /gfd/ exists for some reason.

File: 403041790.jpg (178KB, 741x1000px) Image search: [Google]

178KB, 741x1000px

>>357093
That's one relationship rekindled, easier done than said—honestly though Rhyby likely would have welcomed you back home long-distance calling or not. What a pal.

Luchy troops in right behind you, exhausted from all the overkill suplex action. Notably, he exchanges humble greetings with Rhyby before plopping himself under the only tree in the yard. Given all his hard work, it's probably best you let him catch that breather.

Rhyby lets slip a hesitant snort at Serena, having picked up traces of her permeating vanilla scent, a roughly familiar one. "Oh! You remember Serena, right? Rhyby, Serena. Serena, Rhyby. You saw like, I dunno, maybe a glimpse or two of her way back when. Heh, that was back when she was eeeeeeeeevil. Just between you and me, I've got a good rhythm going with her. I don't want to jinx it, but I think my dick has morality-altering capabilities.."

"Rhhyyyy.....?"

"He seems rather lethargic, doesn't he?" Serena notes as she kneels down beside you. "I have faint recollection of you owning a Rhyhorn, though it honestly slipped my mind until just now,"

"Yeah, he doesn't see a lot of action, not anymore anyway."

With a collected hum, she gives you a hand in soothing his aching back. "Not interested in bringing him along, I take it? I imagine that would have been a priority for you back when you were setting out. What made you change your mind?"

"Ohhhh man.. That was so long ago.." you muse, absentmindedly rubbing his rocky ridges. "I mean, it would have been nice, maybe, I'm sure he's capable with a little training.. but I think.. if I had to say why—it was because I wanted to start my journey on my own without any extra help, you know, to make it 'count', make it 'fair'. The only Pokemon I'd use would be the ones I caught with my own bare hands. I didn't even bring Luchy along, remember? Then he caught up with us, and I couldn't possibly say no."

As if on cue, Luchy lets out a low caw of a yawn. "Chaaaa......haaaaaw....."

"And besides, as much as I like to call him mine.. he's much closer to my mother. They used to be racing professionals back in the day, then I... er... happened.. and they had to leave all that behind them."

"Not another thing to derive guilt from, I hope."

"W-Wha? No, not at all! It's not my fault if my mom gets knocked up! Besides, it's not like I would have slowed her down that much if she had kept going. She just knew what the right thing to do was."

"The right thing to do.. given the circumstances she had lead herself in."

A) "Who's side are you on?"
B) "Right. She lead herself in. Not me."
C) "Are you trying to say I was a burden to her?"
D) "Correct! Now look at them, my mom's a stay-at-home-mom and Rhyby's embracing retirement!"

>>359830
C

>>359830
D
I am absolutely certain Grace had much more fun than Calem when he was off for adventure

>>359830
>"It's not up to us to judge my mother, anyway. She made her own decisions and she seems quite happy with them."

>>359830
D

>>360161
>tfw no Luscious Grace's Groovy Voyage side story

>>360201
No one wants to read 80+ chapters of cougar sex

>>360280
Speak for yourself

File: 392470260.jpg (455KB, 800x800px) Image search: [Google]

455KB, 800x800px

>>359830
"Correct! Now look at them, my mom's a stay-at-home-housewife and Rhyby's embracing the fruits of his retirement!"

At that moment, Rhyby makes a low growl, wagging his minuscule nigh-invisible tail (he can learn Tail Whip, look it up) as if to emphasize the state of what he's become. "Hooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrnnnn......."

"Told you, time of his life! He loves it here!

"..Are you sure that isn't simply because you're hitting all his problem areas?"

"Er.. maybe, b-but come on, I'm sure he needed the affinity anyway."

With Rhyby content and seconds from conking out again, you stand up, stretch, and embrace the unbridled coziness of your surroundings. The shady tree, your modest house, the cool breeze, and the tiny ass town encapsulating it all. You haven't stayed here long, so it doesn't quite ring 'home' yet, but damn if it doesn't have the makings of it.

"Sure brings back a memory or two in a weird, cosmic sort-of way, doesn't it?"

For a moment, Serena's eyes linger on the unoccupied house next door. ".. To a degree, I suppose."

"Uh, Serena?"

"Hm? Ah.. Nothing. Let's go."

>Moment of truth right here
A) You "stumble" upon your mom.
B) Your mom stumbles upon you.

>>360761
B

>>360761
B.

>>360761
A

>>360761
B

File: 498035261.jpg (334KB, 800x643px) Image search: [Google]

334KB, 800x643px

>>360761
———————————————————————————————————————————
When it comes to actually getting inside your house, you come to rely on the timeless tactic of thinking on the spot and just going with it. First you try the doorknob.

Naturally, it very obviously doesn't work. You try to jiggle with it, as if wordlessly negotiating for it to open sesame, but to no avail. Fortunately a plan B arrives within seconds.

You look under the worn welcome mat for the stereotypically-hidden back-up key in the likely case that you and your mom one day become forgetful dummies who lock themselves out the house.

It's not there.

"You.. don't possess a key to your own home?"

"Er.. Mom says shiny things and I don't mix."

Hastily-proposed-and-executed plan C involves the attempt of a backdoor, with just as much success as the two plans that came before it. What's more, the backdoor has no back-up key, and its door knob is just as unresponsive to jiggle tactics.

"Uh..."

You stare at the door.

Serena stares at you.

You stare at the door.

Rhyby stares into the abyss.

The abyss stares back.

Serena stares at the door.

You stare at Serena (for she is cute).

Serena stares at you, but not to ogle.

Suddenly you stare at the window.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWwH9Fkmfrs
You break into your own home.

File: 5427108817.jpg (352KB, 1024x812px) Image search: [Google]

352KB, 1024x812px

>>361471
———————————————————————————————————————————
"..Does it occur to you at all that you just trespassed onto your own property?"

"It's sort of hitting me right now as an afterthought. It might just be my sixth sense at play but something tells me mom's not going to like the broken window.."

"You do realize this would never work in any other household and attempting to do so could result in severe prosecution, yes?"

"Undoubtedly, but here's the thing: I don't need it to work a second time."

You quietly yet very dramatically tiptoe from the entryway into the dim living room, Serena following you with an intense lack of exaggeration.

"It's quiet..." you whisper. "Too quiet.."

"Likely because your mother is asleep like most people at this hour. I don't understand why you defaulted to breaking and entering before knocking.."

. . .

. . .

. . .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JB6H8LpkE7g
"Hold on, we could have knocked..?"

File: 41796911.png (494KB, 660x880px) Image search: [Google]

494KB, 660x880px

>>362073
All of a sudden the lights switch on, as if reacting to (or spiting) your double-take. "Oh my my, look what we have here!~" your mother dauntingly coos from the opposite end of the room, causing the hairs on the back of your neck to stand on end because holy hell you haven't heard that motherly tone in centuries. "Visitors!~"

"Ms. Calemson?"

"Gah! M-MOM!"

Yup. Grace Middlename Calemson in the flesh.

Judging by the incredibly flippant reaction toward what could have been a potential intruder and her smug grip on the switch, she was more than likely expecting you to drop in. In hindsight, it seems you can't hide much from her. "Honey, you can come out now, everything's under control."

Professor Augustine "Hot Stepdad" Sycamore emerges from behind the couch clad in boxers and an Aron-themed football helmet, wielding an aluminum baseball bat. "Oh? Is that so, cherie? Well I think I'll be the judge of tha—ohfuck—CALEEEEEEEEEM! Mon fils! Wh-What a pleasant surprise! Hon hon hon!"

"Professor Sycamore, also unsurprising."

"What the hell?! DAD!?"

Sycamore drops his tone—and bat—upon seeing you and not-so-subtly attempts to brush it under the couch with his foot. He nudges a bit too hard however, and it ends up rolling out the other side.

"Er.."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWwH9Fkmfrs
He very blatantly tosses it out the window—not the one you broke a different one—whereupon it strikes a stray Glameow and spontaneously combusts.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfMwcMFE7gc
"GLAAAAAAA!"

"Honhonhon...uh...." at a brief loss of what to say to cover for that, he opts for rushing in and throwing his arms around the only two pupils of his that aren't fat, brown, or Trevor. "S-So what brings you two here at this not-so-fine hour?! Dex rating? Mega Evolution lecture? Late-night Miraculous Ladybug binge-a-thon?"

A) "Dad, what the hell! Don't you have a lab to run?!"
B) "Oh my god he's perma-moved in hasn't he?"
C) "Dad I can feel the spots on your body where the semen hardened and is just waiting to be scraped off."
D) "Erm, is 'I live here' not good enough?"

>>363258
D

>>363258
C

>>363258
D.

>>363258
>the only two pupils of his that aren't fat, brown, or Trevor
What about the male powerranger?

>>363258
D

>>363258
D

>>363343
He's brown by association.

Oh my fuck that new bear looks retarded as fuck

>>363632
There it is.
I hereby declare that today is the day when we can confirm, that Pokemon franchise lost long battle against its own success

File: image.jpg (16KB, 122x154px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 122x154px

>>363632
>>363685
>Not liking the spoopy spoopachu sheet ghost

D

>>363813
Pikaboo sounds cool as an idea, I'll wait to see how well they will execute it.

But for fucks sake, if I wanted characters designed purely for big and easy merchandising I'd buy Barbie.
I am not going to buy any new AAA game, either.

File: 412098454.png (483KB, 591x548px) Image search: [Google]

483KB, 591x548px

Bear looks like shit, sorry. Pikaboo looks cute and already has some great fanart to boot. This means nothing though, moving on.
>>363258
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9ZsBYRcV_k
"Erm, is 'I live here' not good enough?"

"... TRES BIEN! Ahhh, I suppose that works too! Non worries, your papa completely understands! In truth, I knew this would come to pass one day! You've already triumphed over the Kalos League and defeated those perfidious nazi balloons, it's only natural that you would want to come home and lay your magnificent legend to rest eventually, non? Nothing left to do? No places to travel to? No meaty post-game to digest this generation? No Battle Frontier? Hon hon hon!"

"You can stop rubbing it in now."

"Hon hon hon, rubbing it in? Je suis fou de joie! Do you not know what this means, mon fils!?!?"

"That they aren't going to release a third version to fix all of these glaring issues and are instead going to move straight onto the next generation because the ""third version"" business model is extremely primitive, anti-consumer, and all-around waste of time, resources, and money that will fool nobody in this day and age? Please understand?"

"Oh my, I wasn't aware you were so business savvy."

"C'EST FAUX! IT MEANS.... It means we get to spend even more time with one another as father and wife's son! Baaahhhhh!!! I weep tears of joy just thinking about it! C'EST SI BEAU! I-I've been waiting, waiting oh so long for this day! Just think of all the fishing trips we'll go on! And camping! And hiking! And tandem biking! And all the sweet hippie college beav with each annual spring break!"

A) "Uh, dad, I'm not ten years old anymore."
B) "I think we've bonded enough over my journey alone, tee bee H."
C) "Oh papa, I'd be happy to swallow more degenerate monster apples with you!"
D) "I don't like hippies though, they're too progressive, and at the same time stagnant."
E) "I'm so tired of doing outdoors shit, can't we just stay indoors and play The Division while mourning its downgrades?"

>>363869
Top kek

>>363890
Whoops I meant to green text >No Battle Frontier before saying that

>>363869
A

>>363869
C, because that apple chapter was so damn funny

>>363869
D
I am afraid SM will be same like XY and ORAS
6/10 game with glaring mistakes and laziness

>>363869
D

>>363869
D.

File: 413878531.png (553KB, 661x746px) Image search: [Google]

553KB, 661x746px

>>363869
"But I don't like hippies, they're too progressive, and at the same time stagnant!.. Seriously dad I know your crotch has a hankering to thrust at anything that so much as moves but you're going to have to get accustomed to my tastes if you want to start bringing me along."

"Hon hon hon! Fine by me, mon fils, what is your taste then—WAIT WAIT don't tell me! Slender frame, everyman role, below-average exam written scores, heroically ignorant demeanor, jeans that aren't getting any looser, you want to be dommed by a mistress and have your crotch stepped on repeatedly like a sledgehammer to a building! TRES LEWD!"

"W-What?! That's a bit specific, don't you thin—AGH!"

Gathering nothing from the back-and-forth but unrelatable, undesirable, and frankly unoriginal innuendo, Serena nonchalantly slips out of the bear hug and pinches your nose to the nth degree. "Gahhh!"

"Ms. Calemson," she begins with a rueful bow, gentle tone not at all harmonious with the sheer ferocity of her iron grip. "I deeply apologize for the rude intrusion. I typically don't condone such behavior, but Calem insisted—"

"Really!? You're going to sell me out, even if it's completely tru—NYAAAAGGH!!!"

Her grip strengthens and you begin to theorize that perhaps domination is within your alley.

Fortunately, your mother is very forgiving and brushes the ordeal off with a smile. "Aw, don't worry about it!" she says. "I'm used to Calem breaking things, and please, just call me Grace—I hate feeling old."

"Why does everyone keep picking on m—NYAAAAAGGGHHH!!"

"You're Serena, right? Augustine tends to bring you up when gloating about his star students or our son and all of his accomplishments. Fu.. He knows much more about what the two of you have been up to than I do.."

"Ah, yes that's correct. I'm Seren—wait.. accomplishments?"

Your father unconsciously begins giving you a hard noogie. "Nyaaaagggghh, stop the abuse, stop the abuse!"

"Right.. Anyhow, we're sorry for dropping in unannounced at such an hour, but Calem was struck with a poetic epiphany at the last minute and deemed it absolutely necessary to return home at all costs in order to let his thoughts be heard, isn't that right Calem?"

A) "GAAAAAAHHHHH stop clenching my nose and maybe I'll tell you!"
B) "N-No idea what you're talking about! I just dropped in to drop in! S'all water under the bridge! See? It's not even bothering her! No need to stoke flames!"
C) "NYAAAAGHH I SMELL NOTHING AND EVERYTHING AT THE SAME TIME
D) "YesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesYES"

>>364692
D.

>>364692
C

>>364692
D

File: Doesn't_know_anything[1].png (105KB, 342x192px) Image search: [Google]

105KB, 342x192px

>>364692
"YesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesYES—SWEET GOD YOU'RE BENDING IT!!!!"

Just as you fear she's going to twist and outright rip your nose off and feed it to Rhyby, she finally relents and loosens her hold on you. As you desperately struggle for air and your sense of smell, you take matters into your own hands.

"Haah....haaah....that was worse than the running..... She's right... haah... There is a method to my madness...we should.. haaah.. sit down and discuss it..... over.."

>Over...
A) Tapas
B) Empanadas
C) Chalupas
D) Menudo
E) [Anon choice (wow everyone it's fucking professor cuisine over here, tough guy thinks he knows about food, fucking chef boyardee over here)]

>>364872
E
Vanilla eiercognac and strawberry pie

>>364872
E
Hot pockets

>>364934
seconding

>>364872
B, the food of the gods

File: 5224489012.jpg (136KB, 500x700px) Image search: [Google]

136KB, 500x700px

>didnt rally for the empanadas booooooo
>>364872
[>>364934]
[>>364954]
[>>364887]
———————————————————————————————————————————
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
Nothing screams home sweet home like hot pockets at three in the morning. Gee, throw in some discount Combusken tenders and you have a whole meme meal supreme. Luckily, culinary backup is present in the form of vanilla eiercognac (a beverage that strikes your buds as sweet, yet intoxicating) and strawberry pie.

It's certainly a way to slave the night away.

As far as dinner conversation goes, things are progressing.. not at all. Your heart is beating a little quicker than usual and you're feeling a tad tipsy from prolonged savoring of your custard-y drink's textures.

Your dad is in the middle of prattling on about dumb guardians on some dumb faraway islands who guard dumb things and what little he says that doesn't go in one ear and out the other just sounds like shameless "legendary-lookalike-legion" trite. You continue sipping your drink, starting to wish you were literally anywhere else, when suddenly something kicks you in the shin.

You cringe and almost perform a spittake, but manage to gulp it down. Your eyes dart to the kicker, Serena, and the look on her face that's wordlessly badgering you to get to the point. Your averting eyes tell her that it seemed like a good idea on paper back when you were high in the sky, but you're having second thoughts now that you're actually here and sitting right across from them.

Her eyes, genuine, in turn tell you that if she really loves her son (and let's face it, nine times out of ten it's unconditional), it won't really matter. She'll flippantly forgive you even if she doesn't get why you should be asking for it.

A) Well, it's now or never, shape up and start talking.
B) Fuck it. Get on the table and chimp out in all caps with everything you want to say and more.
C) Have Serena veer the topic for you.
D) Become intoxicated.

>>365571
D, there are only two people in this world who tell the truth, children and drunkards.

>>365580
And tell momma you killed a man?
seconding only if Normiest Queen Song accompanies the choice

>>365571
A. We're officially an adult now, so it's time to man up.

>>365571
B

>>365571
A.

>>365571
A
Let's do this the grown-up way for once.

>Synchro involves your character posing wildly and getting a power boost
>Calem is quite literally Poses: The Character
>Calem has been using synchro before synchro was even a thing

>>365857
He'd be the intern for the ginyu force.

>>365857
desu someone told me it's not confirmed to be synchro yet.
but sparrows told me some new info about greninja is coming
so maybe, just maybe

>>365571
Although B would be fun and the most calem-like, A

>you can remove your hat in gen VII
>while possible thanks to modern technology, this is considered poor form amongst protagonists everywhere
>"earning" the hat via life-changing misadventure is considered a rite of passage

New lore right there pal

>>365571
D

File: 134971510514.jpg (122KB, 1024x989px) Image search: [Google]

122KB, 1024x989px

>>365857
>>365926
Snipe this guy, he knows too much.

>>365571
"Did you hear what happened to the neighbor boy from down the street?"

"Eh? Non non, I'm afraid not. Pray tell, what? Did he die?!... Ah, n-not that I would want for such an awful thing to happen, non non! It's just.. he and your azaleas don't exactly get along, so.."

"Huh? Oh no, he's alright, it's just.. his mom tells me he's been glued to his tablet far too much recently. All he ever does is sit in his room and watch bizarre nursery rhymes, or videos of people he doesn't even know reacting to other videos and then altering his own opinions based on what that person tells them, or these weird 'shows' of people's hands playing house with dolls and stuffed animals while doing high-pitched voices for them, or cracking mystery eggs—it's always eggs she says, eggs and licensed characters, she doesn't know why. She said he's worried, that he won't even come down to eat anymore."

"Je vois.. How utterly horrifying.. So you feel sorry for him?"

"What? No, of course not!~ I'm just glad my azaleas'll be safe from now on!"

"Hon hon hon! My thoughts exactly!"

"Mom, I don't get why you're not upset."

You drop the bombshell completely out of the blue, right in the middle of their conversation.

"Huh?" your mother turns to you, blinking. "It's only the neighbor boy, sweetie. I don't even know his name, much less his mother's. She just loves to badger me, you know?~"

She takes a long, sheepish sip from her eiercognac. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip.

"What? No, not that!"

>>366336
How can one mom be so sweet yet so savage?

>>366336
>people's hands playing house with dolls and stuffed animals while doing high-pitched voices for them
>tfw used to watch a Pokemon thing like this

>>366449
I hope that was years ago.

>>366467
When I was, like, 7.
I think.
Before age 10, I know.

File: 14596-1016316404[1].jpg (133KB, 354x598px) Image search: [Google]

133KB, 354x598px

>>366336
Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip. You've never really realized it before, but damn, your mother can be pretty savage sometimes. She might be who you get the occasional sick burns from.

"Hm?~ Then what is it? Is something the matter, dear? You seem a little tense. If something's wrong, you can tell me. You can tell me anything."

You had fleeting figments of this rather-ridiculous-yet-totally-in-character idea to throw caution to the wind, jump on the table, and prance around while loudly ranting your woes in a manner fitting for a guy like you.

As you sip your eiercognac, however, you realize that maybe it would be better if you take a more normal approach to the matter.

>What do you say next?

>>366647
"It seems that I kind of lost sense of time 'recently'.
You know, days fly like hours, months like days, this kind of stuff.
Sorry for not calling home, mum."

>>366647
"I'm sorry I didn't call, but I saved the world! Doesn't that earn me enough good boy points to make up for it?"

>>366647
"Serena's pregnant, and I'm the father. "

>>367260
this.

File: 149859830139.png (57KB, 248x254px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 248x254px

>>366647
[>>367260]
[>>367369]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
"I'm pregnant, and Serena's the father."

"What!?"

"Huuuh!??!?"

"Hon hon—HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?"

>>367423
OBJECTIVELY THE ONLY RIGHT CHOICE

>>367423
C-Caley?

>>367369
>>367260
11/10 fampais
Your honorary Australian citizenships await at your closest Banter Deputy of your ISP
May you held that titles with highest dedication and skills.

File: image.jpg (32KB, 378x368px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 378x368px

>>367423
>mfw this is actually possible since they fugged when they were body switched

>>367932
But that would mean that
a) Serena would be carrying the baby, since it was her body
b) Serena would be the father since it was she who blown the load.

I am shivering with anticipation.

>>367954
>it was she who blown the load.

this sounds like some shakespearean-prose level shit

>>368061
Thanks.
I take pride in my ignorance of English grammaticals.

File: 4241238122.jpg (101KB, 434x611px) Image search: [Google]

101KB, 434x611px

>>367423
[>>366662]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JB6H8LpkE7g
.. is probably what would have happened if you were enough of a madman to actually say that with a straight face (though that's not to rule out the very likely scenario of that occurring in the future). Instead, that screwy mindfuck of a false fantasy fades away and is replaced with cold hard reality. You—skinny and baby-bumpless—grip your glass with both hands and begin rambling.

"Um, that's the thing. See, it seems that I.. kinda lost my sense of time recently. You know, days fly like hours, months like days, everything starts blurring into each other as part of one long cycle that I can't help but lose myself in—that kind of stuff.."

Your mom isn't exactly one for metaphors, let alone ones that you haphazardly try to cook up. She opens her mouth to respond, likely seeking clarification, but you cut her off with the bottom line before she can.

"I'm sorry for not calling home, mum.."

Silence befalls the table, and for the next few moments, no one dares utter a peep. Well, until your mother takes another long siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip, thoughts of her own in mind.

"Mmhm~.." she hums. "Is that all, dear?"

A) "Uhh.. Yooou're not upset?"
B) "What the? I leave for years, never visit, never call, legitimately forget I even have a home and mom waiting for me, then one night just drop in, break a window, pretend that estrangement doesn't exist and try to move back in like nothing's even happened—a-and you're okay with that?!?!"
C) "Man, you really are carefree. That's kind of messed up."
D) "I'm trying to be realistic here and you're acting like a straight-forward NPC."

>>368489
C.

>>368489
C

>>368489
B

>>368489
B

>>368489
C. It must run in the family.

>>368489
B

it's time to get serious

>>368489
A

>>366647
B

File: 1544955.jpg (262KB, 734x1500px) Image search: [Google]

262KB, 734x1500px

>>368489
https://soundcloud.com/musicsama/bobby-in-wanderleyland
"What the? I leave for years, never visit, never call, legitimately forget I even have a home and mom waiting for me, then one night just drop in, break a window, pretend that estrangement doesn't exist and try to move back in like nothing's even happened—a-and you're okay with that?!?!"

You flail your arms all over the place trying to get to the bottom of holy fuck why the hell is your mom so fucking frivolous hot damn it's crazy and yet miraculous at the same time if this were any other woman you'd be torn to pieces for even thinking of coming back without expecting to be disowned. Could it possibly be a result of being cured of Downhill Sex Drive Syndrome?

To all of that, Grace merely shrugs, a sly grin on her face. "Ahh.~ What can I say? I'm a pretty crazy chick."

Well, looks like you know where your own crazy comes from.

"E-Eh? And what does that mean?!"

"Well sweetie if you're really this hung up on it, you should know.. It's not like it's all your fault."

"How do you figure..?"

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip. "I didn't really try to call you either, did I?~"

A) "O-Oh, well, no.. I never did get any messages from you after a while.. I wonder why that could be.."
B) "Hmm, really makes you think.."
C) "No, and yet I can sense that we still care for each other."
D) "Mom.. Do you just go with the flow? I feel like that's the idea here."

>>368851
C

>>368851
C

>>368851
B

File: 149838014194.jpg (57KB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 640x360px

>>368851
Wow. Not once did you stop and think of it like that. You're not the only one responsible for not keeping up family ties, so is your mother for not even attempting to give chase when you started to unconsciously distance yourself from her. Is your mom smarter than you?

"Well no.." you answer with brute honesty, scratching at your cheek. "And yet.. I can somehow sense that we still care for each other anyways."

"Well then there you go! Problem solved!~" she beams jubilantly. "I'm a terrible mother too engrossed in the heat of second love to focus on my adorable son.."

Your lips start flapping in cohesive harmony before you even realize it.

"And I'm a terrible son too engrossed in the heart of adventure to focus on my lovely mother.."

"So let's just shake on it and start anew!"

>What do you say/do next?

>>367423
Sauce on that image?

>>369344
Shake her hand and say "You've gotten really pretty mom." and then awkward regret.

>>369344
Act stoic and professional but then instantly tear up and throw yourself at her while crying for mama.

>>369344
Shake her hand, and then quickly ask if all your current Good Boy Points carry over into this do-over.

>>369344
"Um, if we're starting over, can we forget about that time you found armpit fetish stuff on my Wii U browser? I've clearly moved on to superior interests."

>>369433
Nothing is superior than Korrina my boy

>>369772
>tfw Korrina will never return
WHY IS LIFE SO CRUEL?

>>369772
>>369802
Waiting for Korrina alt end after we finish.

File: 4552281116.png (139KB, 400x437px) Image search: [Google]

139KB, 400x437px

>>369358
I don't remember.

>>369344
[>>369382]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELhzaLT1AvE
You try to play it cool.

You try to act professional like you have thus far.

You raise your hand, clammy and twitching, to shake hers.

You're practically an adult these days, you shouldn't be showing weakness when you have an image to hold up.

But... but...

It really starts to sink in at this point that you haven't been this close to her in ages.

And she hasn't changed one bit.

Meanwhile you're high-ranking trainer with quarter-half gains and a nice ladylove, literally everything you could have possibly asked for when you first set out—you got.

Alas, wistful longing and sentimentality goes a long way.

You lower your hand and clench both your fists, manly tears begin stinging the corners of your eyes. You try to suck them back in with a sniffle but it only forces them out

It all comes flooding back in a heartbeat, pink bubbly sparkles are everywhere and suddenly you don't want to be so grown-up anymore.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-16-HKKxso
"Mamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

"Caleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemmmm!~"

Torn apart by surfacing emotions, you throw yourself at your mom while bawling like a manly bitch, and she's more than happy to reciprocate the feeling, embracing you with all the warm, genuine, tender loving care that only a mother can provide.

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip.

"What an odd family."

File: 1451977988533.png (113KB, 283x370px) Image search: [Google]

113KB, 283x370px

>>370225
"LOOK WHO THE HELL'S TALKING—I-I'm sorry that was unreasonable, I'm just so emotional right now, do you want a hug too?"

>>370225
>odd family
Kinda slowpokey to realize that after several years of travelling with Calem

Preasu forgivu my idiocy

>>370279
>>369358


To make up for my absolute fax pas I have located picture that has to be from same artist.
search "gelbooru "1785882"" , should be second result

Maybe you'll be able to pick up trail from here.

File: 1451977988534.png (77KB, 209x297px) Image search: [Google]

77KB, 209x297px

>>370258
"Yes, but from you, and not for another two weeks. Don't 'sling shade' if you can't take the heat, 'homie'."

File: XY_Veteran_M.png (61KB, 154x428px) Image search: [Google]

61KB, 154x428px

>>370460
———————————————————————————————————————————
>[MEANWHILE. . .]

Deimos halts his no denture coffee adventure, sensing yet another disturbance with a side of deja vu.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNJ1B_2b17s
"You only get THREE more of those, kiddo..."

>>370460
>not for another two weeks

What does she mean by this?

>>370856
I'd say it means that somebody is going on holiday.

>>370877
Is Nate going to EVO to become the pokken champ?

>>370460
plz don't go Nate

>>370856
>>370877
>>370951
>>371211
That's in-universe time. Calm down silly.

>>371236
Wasn't overlap of 'our' and 'their' time butt of dozen jokes by now?

Also Clemont will need another refurbishment of his gym.

>>371246
What happened to him and Bonnie anyway? Did they get sent to the waifu dimension?

File: image.jpg (2KB, 68x56px) Image search: [Google]

2KB, 68x56px

>>371256
What is a waifu dimension, friend?

>>371901
A magical place where cute annie may girls throw themselves at you.

>>371256
They're with the Fillerup crew, I think. In our universe.
Probably finding them a new home.
I was trying to wait 'til the end of the chapter to ask these, but I just can't wait any longer.
1. Do you have any plands for extra post-game?
2. If so, will it involve our real father, putting the moon back together, based Leek Miser, or healing Hexcalibur?
3. What about the other girls? Will our daughteru get anything more? And will Tierno and Trevor be redeemed?
Feel free to wait 'til the end to answer these, but please do.

>>372066
I think Nate already said he has enough content planned until Sun and Moon. As for #2, why would you intentionally ask for spoilerish information? Obviously he won't flat out tell us "Oh yeah Hex is coming back fampai"

>>372773
I just can't wait anymore, man.

File: 3941609357.jpg (82KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

82KB, 640x480px

>>372066
1. Of course, the story is scheduled to conclude sometime before SM, but we still have a few hapters left. This and the next are the most pivotal in that regard, as you can see this is a pretty warped interpretation of the only good part (really the only part) of XY's post-game.
2. I'm not answering any of those :^))
3. No more "harem-girl-centric" chapters from this point on. Each received enough focus. Daughter? What daughter? We never had a daughter.

>>370552
———————————————————————————————————————————
Grace commits the hellion offense of removing your hat and wildly tousling your hair, much to your dismay (though let it be known now that she is the only one who can get away with it). "D'aww, my little Calem's all grown up and back home! Sooo, did you win?"

"Did I.. wait, did I what?"

"You know! Did you win the Pokemon?"

"I.. Huh? That.. that's such a vague and uninformed 'mom' question, did I win the Pokemon? Did I win the undefined pocket monsters I catch and battle with? Wha—What does that even mean? That's not a goa—!"

"Ahh, got you!~ I'm not that dense sweetie—maybe a little—your father made sure to keep me updated, whether I understood any of it or not. He says you're the 'champion' and a hero to all now?"

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip. "Ehehe, cherie~" Sycamore interjects. "You give me too much credit. Y-You make it seem as if that's all I talk about!"

"It kind of is, dear. Do you hear yourself sometimes?"

"T-Tres maladroit! It's not like he needs to know that!"

"Ohhh well, Delcatty's out of the bag now~" your mother shrugs, turning back to you. "As I was saying dear, while I may not be too cultured in the art of battling, I've been in more than enough races to know that being the champion of anything is an achievement worthy of the highest praise. I'm so proud of you, sweetie!"

"I-It was nothing, really. I—"

"Non mon fils," your father speaks with sincerity, stealing the scene with a hot pocket in hand. "It was something. You set out seemingly untouchable goals for yourself and pulled through even when it felt like the odds were stacked against you at every turn. That isn't something to take lightly, I'm certain most trainers your age could only dream of doing the same."

"Dad.."

"He's right dear," your mother concurs. "The worst thing you can do is underestimate yourself. And fu~, it really doesn't matter to me if you had won or lost, I'd still love you all the same!"

"Gaahhh.. You guys.." you sniffle, hands reaching to rub your eyes.

"Calem? Is something wrong? Something got in your eye?"

"N-No it's just.." you hiccup. "Damn if you keep fellating me like this I'm gonna cry again!"

File: 517440137.png (1MB, 1024x768px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1024x768px

>>372895
Just when you think the petty abuse is over and done with, your mom begins tousling your hair again. "A-Ah! H-Hey! No, mom, come on!"

"Oh Calem, you have to tell me everything—everything! Everything you've seen, everything you've done, everyone you've met—especially your little girlfriend here—you two are so cute together!~ To think that my little man found someone, it's so heartwarming!"

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip. "Oh yes Calem, please, don't hesitate, enrich your mother with a regaling of our many episodic endeavors. Fufu, maybe you can begin with the one about the party hor—."

"ATATATATATATATATATATATATAAAAAAAAAAA—CTUUUUUUUUUUAALLY MOM," you instinctively press a finger or two to your waifu's lips while awkwardly sperging out into maximum overdrive. "—I-It's getting preeeeeeeeetty late! I-I think for now, I'd like to just go up to my room, hit the sack, have sweet dreams, a-and maybe probably possibly catch you guys up in the morning...ahahaha.."

It sounds like a simple enough idea on paper, it's partially why you came back home in the first place, so you could have a place to crash and continue your investigation in the morning. However, the not-so-indirect mention of your bedroom manages to trigger both of your parents into their own respective overdrives.

Sycamore's eyes widen in hindsight, his hand scratching the back of his neck. "O-Oh...OH! Y-Your room.. honhonhon... tres... tres bien! Yes, yes!" he nervously chuckles. "I-I was actually just going to bring that up mon fils!.... er... About your room...."

As his eyes widen, your eyes narrow, dubiously.

"... What did you do to my room..?"

File: 9c8.gif (271KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

271KB, 500x500px

>>373349
———————————————————————————————————————————
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TC2MjL6jht8
"Goom!~"
"Gooomygooooomyyy!~"
"Googo Goomy goo!~"
"Gooooooooooooooo!~"
"Mymymy, goomyyyy!~"

"YOU TURNED MY ROOM INTO A GOOMY BREEDING GROUND WHILE I WAS GONE!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!???!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!???!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!???!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!???!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?"

File: d6v9zb2.png (228KB, 510x511px) Image search: [Google]

228KB, 510x511px

>>373410
"C-Calem, please! Control yourself!.. It was for science! Hon hon hon!"

>What do you say/do next?

>>373428
Go nuclear.

>>373428
"I-Is this why the sliggoo narrator disappeared? What have you done to him?"

>>373428
Turn into the destroyer of world's. In a scene that plays out in your head.

File: OKCcoeA.gif (174KB, 300x300px) Image search: [Google]

174KB, 300x300px

>>373428
[>>373454]
[>>373747]
"For... science...?.... for... SCIENCE...? Heheheh....hehehehehehehh...."

"C-Calem, please mon fils! Can't we talk about thi—"

"FOR SCIENCE?!?!?!??!?!??!?!? I SWEAR TO CAT.... I'LL SCHRO YOUR DINGER OFF AND FEED IT TO THE DOGS OLD MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!"

Without warning, you tear your clothes off and go absolutely mad with power. With unbridled rage and savagery, you snatch the closest defenseless newborn Goomy and proceed to do the unthinkable.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
"G-Goooo!"

You sling the little slimy shitter out the window, whereupon it strikes a stray Skitty in the skull and spontaneously combusts in an explosion that can't even begin to define the amount of seething anger you're feeling right now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfMwcMFE7gc
"SKIIIIII!!"
"GOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH!! UNLEASH THE BEAST!!!!"

>>373349
>your
>little
>girlfriend

Somebody is up to a surprise.

File: image.jpg (93KB, 1215x612px) Image search: [Google]

93KB, 1215x612px

>>373945

File: 1475968310912.jpg (95KB, 350x1140px) Image search: [Google]

95KB, 350x1140px

>>373945
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNvDULdNk8
Or at least that's what would have happened (except the Skitty exploding—that part's real) if you had the full gains necessary to challenge your father's cologne-scented charisma.

Instead your parents force you to crash on the couch for the time being while they make abrupt plans to steriliz—..er.. 'restore your room'.

File: 1475968310911.jpg (145KB, 350x1705px) Image search: [Google]

145KB, 350x1705px

>>374035
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNtP3ilYaJk
"Make sure not to stay up too late, okay? Honhonhon!—Aucune affaire drole!"

Your mother and father are fortunately bro enough to condone you sleeping with your honey-blonde waifu under their roof, just as long as there aren't any party horns around. People sit on that couch in the daytime, you know.

At any rate, they head upstairs likely to continue the dryhumping hypocrisy they were knee deep in prior to your arrival, and at long last, the night is capped..a good hour or two before sunrise, but beggars can't be choosers.

The couch is small, cramped really, but you hardly mind. Sure, having your room fatuously converted into an in-house farm for incubating blubbering babby booger dragons without your permission sucks every kind of twisted fucked up fuck that ever sucked without a doubt, but none of it matters as long as you're home period. After all, it's where the heart is, and there's no place quite like it.

Wrapped up in a cocoon of blankets, you embrace your waifu and plant your face in her luscious hair. In turn, she takes refuge in the crook of your neck, and together the two of you lull each other into a light sort-of half-awake, half-asleep slumber.

"Mm...." she croons. "Your mother.. I'm not sure what I expected.."

"She's quite the character."

A) "I forgot how much of a free spirit she was."
B) "I had to get it from someone, you know,"
C) "Like yours truly, I hope."
D) "I can't believe it, I introduce you to my mom, and I'm the one who gets rattled."

>>374607
>A) "I forgot how much of a free spirit she was."

>>374607
A

>>374607
C

>>374607
B.

>>374607
B

>>374607
A

File: 435821509.png (622KB, 566x566px) Image search: [Google]

622KB, 566x566px

>>374607
"I forgot how much of a free spirit she was," you murmur into her hair. "I can't believe I actually let myself believe that I had left her alone all these years.. ridiculous.."

You give her a little squeeze and she returns the affection. "I guess I really am a mama's boy deep down."

"Maybe.. but you could be far worse things.."

"I guess that's.. true-ish.."

"Hn.. do you recall when you met my parents?"

A) "Eugh.. Don't remind me."
B) "Hot pinky or chilly incense man?"
C) "That was.. back when I made really conscious thirsty decisions I now cringe at in hindsight.."
D) "Yes, and I'd say they're just as odd."

>>374826
C

>>374826
B

>>374826
D.

>>374826
C

>>374826
B

File: image.gif (782KB, 245x253px) Image search: [Google]

782KB, 245x253px

>>374826
C.

Remember the xmas chapter with Lormont?

L o v i n g
E v e r y
L a u g h

>>375004
He's not coming back you know

File: 1468557590833.jpg (43KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 1280x720px

>>375358
NO, he's coming back and he's gonna steal Serena from us!

File: image.jpg (75KB, 392x467px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 392x467px

>>375358
>>375384
>mfw "Lormont" is actually the MC from sun/moon

I missed the Lormont chapter so I have no idea who he is.

>>376284
>he hasn't read the first Christmas chapter
Anon, what are you doing?

File: image.jpg (39KB, 400x384px) Image search: [Google]

39KB, 400x384px

>>376284
>I LITERALLY didn't read the story

>>376318
>>376347
I read everything but the one with Lormont, which chapter is it? Frost Frontier was pretty filler.

File: 392885167.jpg (92KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

92KB, 640x480px

It's okay thirstfags, I forgive you
>>374826
Your face gets a little heated as you think back to then, legs entangling with hers. "That was.. back when I made really conscious thirsty decisions I now cringe at in hindsight.."

"Quite, that was sometime after we had..mn.. c.. confided in one another.. I was smitten by the tender sentiments of love, and you were my first in that regard.."

"It felt so wonderful.. to be loved by someone far more than anything else in the world, and to love that someone in return.. mn.. I admit.. a few of my decisions then were blinded—influenced—by that feeling.."

"And then your parents.."

She sighs, sinking deeper into your embrace. "I had a suspicion you would have trouble, and you did—but I knew when we congregated that eventually, at some point.. I would have to face your family, and you my own.. that expectation—it's why I felt more intrigued than apprehensive to meet your mother, 'What kind of woman raised you?' I wondered."

File: 1498197498222.jpg (272KB, 800x565px) Image search: [Google]

272KB, 800x565px

>>377845
"As it turns out," she says, lifting her head to meet your gaze. "She is just as sweet as her son."

You dart your eyes elsewhere, cheeks flaring for a change of subject.

"Thought you said 'no hugging for two weeks', so what's this supposed to be then?"

Your answer comes with passive-dismissal and a light yawn. "A momentary pardon, and nothing more so long as your kin is concerned. Now embrace that reprieve before I do so myself."

"With varying degrees of confusion and pleasure."

The last thing you ponder before completely losing yourself in her is her upswing in outspokenness.

File: image.jpg (42KB, 500x375px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 500x375px

>>377882
>Now embrace that reprieve before I do so myself."
T-This is a christian imageboard!

File: d6v9zb3.png (234KB, 473x597px) Image search: [Google]

234KB, 473x597px

>>377882
———————————————————————————————————————————
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjnELLRZjWo
"Hm. Another reading, this one far greater than the ones before it."

"This energy.. it's unmistakable.. Yes, this is the same specimen I had detected the other night.."

"Seems it's made its way into town unharmed. But for how much longer?"

"Hmph.. I'd likely know the answer to that had my assets not been seized. How am I to conduct any form of field work without the necessary equipment? I'm confined to the lab, the most I can do is ward them off."

"That power ranger has a lot of nerve..."

". . . Well then. If that's how you want to play,"

"Then I suppose I'll just have the specimen come to me."

File: 14959014983.jpg (177KB, 1152x864px) Image search: [Google]

177KB, 1152x864px

>>378075
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQh86cli4U8

File: Untitled.png (113KB, 222x310px) Image search: [Google]

113KB, 222x310px

>>378204
———————————————————————————————————————————
https://soundcloud.com/spaciously-dandy/hot-wind
>"WORMHOLES IN THE SKY!"

>"TERROR IN THE NIGHT!"

>"A SOCIAL PHENOMENON UNLIKE ANY OTHER FLOURISHES IN THE FACE OF SHEER PALPITATING PARANOIA!"

>"THIS IS ""SEVEN 'O CLOCKISH MORNING ACTION-TO-THE-MAXION ACTION-READY POLICE BRUTALITY ELECTION TERRORISM HOT BUTTON BUZZWORD UNBIASED MORNING NEW NEWS""—WITH ONE-TIME ACCIDENTALLY EMMY-NOMINATED FOX ANCHORMAN RUPERT FURDOCH, BRINGING SEMI-HOT ROOM TEMPT NEWS RELEVANT YESTERDAY—TODAY!!"

>"Good morning, viewers! It's seven minutes from not being seven AM and instead being eight AM, WHICH IS TO SAY IT'S SEVEN FIFTY-THREE ON THIS BEAUTIFUL YET OTHERWISE TYPICAL MONDAY! Here are today's overly-bombastically-THEATRICAL headlines AS BROUGHT TO YOU BY GENERIC-Os!—Generic-Os™, they're remarkably palatable!"

File: 3.jpg (26KB, 600x450px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 600x450px

>>378583
>"WORLDS BEYOND THIS EARTHLY REALM!—BEYOND THE DEEPEST CREVICES OF YOUR WILDEST IMAGINATION!"

>"MIGRATING MIGRANTS AND IMMIGRATING IMMIGRANTS! MEN, WOMEN, AND MONS ALIKE FALL WITH THE GRACE OF A GRACIDEA FROM A MOONLESS SKY!"

>"PORTALS BIGGER THAN THE REPULSIVE PIT THAT IS YOUR GAPING ANUS TEARING INTO THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM!"

>"IT'S PORTAL PANDEMONIUM!"

>"Our first major report of the morning and arguably one of the most BREAKING rides off the cataclysmic convoluted coattails of a HOT SERIES OF DIRE DEVELOPMENTS courtesy of MOTHER NATURE herself! FOR UNLESS YOU HAPPEN TO LIVE UNDER A ROCK JUST AS THESE PECULIAR FOREIGNERS CLAIM TO ONCE HAVE, YOU'D SEE FIRSTHAND THE SIGHTS OF WHICH I GARRULOUSLY ALLUDE TO!!"

>[Bzzt... bzzzt.. bzzzzt...]

>"BEHOLD VIEWERS! PRE-RECORDED FOOTAGE OF THESE STRANGE OTHERWORLDLY RIFTS AS RECENTLY CAPTURED IN OUR CAPTIVATING CAPITAL! What are these wormholes, you ask?!............... Oh if only I could answer such a question, BUT INSTEAD WE MUST SAVOR THE SUSPENSE AS A DEFINITIVE EXPLANATION IS STILL BEING LOOKED INTO! IT'S AN ONGOING INVESTIGATION!"

>"What we CAN confirm is that these mystical gateways appear to be popping up in droves all throughout the region! What has triggered this reaction? What is their purpose? Their intention? Their drive?! Who can say! IT'S ONE OF NATURE'S MYSTERIES! Furthermore, it seems it's impossible to enter them! DON'T EVEN TRY IT MADMEN HAVE ALREADY TESTED IT! Instead, you only get spat back out! What else do they deposit?! GOOD QUESTION, we know the answer to that one!"

>"FOREIGNERS! Travelers from beyond the stars!"

>"Do they wish to do us harm? NOT LIKELY! From those we've interviewed, a majority hold onto scattered memories and tattered dreams, unable to speak of much more than fleeting remnants of haunting memories and trauma! THEIR ONLY IMPULSE IS TO MAKE SOMETHING OF THEMSELVES IN THESE UNCHARTED LANDS!"

>"HOW UTTERLY INSPIRING! IF ONLY I COULD STILL HAVE THAT SAME SPARK AND LUSTER FOR MY OWN AMBITIONS IN LIFE! We could learn a thing or two from our new amnesiac companions!"

>"If you see an interdimensional portal-spewed spawn wandering the streets, go right up to him or her and shake his or her hand or paw and tell him or her 'YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT BIG HERE KIDDO!'"

File: 148051039313.jpg (130KB, 1671x950px) Image search: [Google]

130KB, 1671x950px

>>380862
>"BONDS FORGED THROUGH 4G CONNECTIONS!"

>"UPSALE MICROTRANSACTIONS WITH SMILES ON THEIR SURFACES!"

>"A GET-UP-AND-GO MOBILE HUMDINGER DOMINATES THE PLANET IN A MATTER OF MINUTES!"

>"In other equally just-as-important-and-not-at-all-sponsored news: POKEMON GO HYPE CONTINUES TO SWEEP THE REGION, TAKING IT COMPLETELY BY STORM PRACTICALLY OVERNIGHT!!! IF YOU STILL HAVE YET TO PLAY IT AT THIS POINT, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, SCHMUCK?! THERE'S NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT! Do you actually WANT to be an outcast amongst your friends PROVIDED YOU HAVE ANY TO BEGIN WITH!?"

>"Move over, irrelevant licensed mobile trash! Make way for RELEVANT licensed mobile cash!!! Developed in a matter of weeks, Pokemon GO is a new augmented reality game that puts YOU in the shoes of a Pokemon trainer—a delightfully tempting second-chance opportunity for reality-jaded individuals who never got to become a trainer in their wistful youth!"

>"Walk to real-world locations, flick pokeballs at Pokemon you encounter, catch Pokemon, claim gyms, choose a team, hatch eggs, grind, experience server issues, possibly meet people, make friends or get shunned by those people, walk to EVEN MORE places, get kicked out of private establishments by people with hastily-printed signs up warding would-be trainers away, paying for food in restaurants to make use of their stops, getting discounts in shops for being on the right team, vandalize public property and falseflag a rival team as the prime suspect, RISK THE UTTER HUMANITY OF YOU AND YOUR WHITE GUILT FRIENDS GETTING MUGGED BY MINORITIES IN AN ALLEYWAY FOR THE CHANCE TO CATCH THE RARE KALOS-ONLY REGIONAL EXCLUSIVE MR. MIME!!!"

>"Having just exited beta field testing and entered public release, Pokemon GO has already become a worldwide sensation—an unprecedented phenomenon to behold!—throughout the regions can actually play it right now! Look around! Everyone's playing it! EVERYONE! That's no exaggeration! It's exploded beyond all compare! Your friends are playing it, your relatives are playing it, your mother, your father, your grandparents, your creepy uncle, your creepier uncle, the guy who hangs around the library too often, your wife, your son, your wife's son! People who for some bizarre reason gave zero nonchalant shits about the fact that our world is inhabited by animals with supernatural powers SUDDENLY care with the introduction of Pokemon GO! Never before has technology been able to deliver a buttery smooth on-the-go experience able to bring people from all over the world together, and it's FREEforthemostpart! In hopeless times like these, what more could you ask for?"

>"We'll keep you unreliably updated on this neo-pokemania craze as it continues to surge! Heh, Rotom Dex who? Am I right? Mobile gaming is OUR FUTURE! IT'S OUR DESTINY!"

File: d5sn62p.png (182KB, 558x637px) Image search: [Google]

182KB, 558x637px

>>381701
———————————————————————————————————————————
Clad in Croagunk boxers, Looker brushes his teeth, makes pancakes, and watches the overly-hammy report on an old-timey, black-and-white TV the size of a GameCube.

"Hrmm... I only have a flip phone.." he says with a mouthful of toothpaste.

File: d388k3v.png (12KB, 376x372px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 376x372px

>>381746
>"IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE A PATHETICALLY PROUD OWNER OF A FLIP PHONE, ALLOW ME TO STRESS WITH PROFOUND SINCERITY THE UNDENIABLE FACT THAT NOT ONLY ARE YOU OUT OF LUCK, YOU'RE OUT OF STYLE!!! THE MOBILE SHIP HAS MOVED ON AND BY JIGGITY JOVE, YOU AREN'T ON IT!! CHECK YOU OUT ON THE FLIPSIDE, GRANDPA!"

>"..Get it? Flip? As in flip phone? Are you laughing viewers? Of course you aren't, YOU DON'T HAVE LAUGHBOXES TO LAUGH WITH—AND THAT SEGUES INTO OUR FINAL HOT HEADLINE OF THE MORN, BAM!"

. . . . .

>". . . But no, in all honesty devoted viewers.. There is a cold reason the lot of us have been using a mobile app to 'cope' and drown our sorrows in, because sorrows are all we have after they took our laughter away. Today marks yet another day in the ongoing laughbox larcenist conflict, with no feasible end in sight. Though Mayor Phantrump claims with great pride that an official investigation is currently underway, no traces of leads or suspects have surfaced. With each night, the victim count rises, and as of the most recent toll... well..."

>"If you live on North Boulevard, don't expect to laugh for a while. If you live on South Boulevard, don't expect to laugh much longer."

>We will keep you updated with continued coverage. This is Seven O' Clockish Action-to-the-Maxion Action Ready Morning News. It is 8:01 AM. We'll be right back after these messages."

>>382625
Goddamn, I love this beaver.

File: 149729508137.jpg (201KB, 1280x960px) Image search: [Google]

201KB, 1280x960px

The next post will be the next thread.

If the fat cats happen to archive us and I'm unable to link it here, just check /qst/ catalog, you dingus.

>>383580
'Avin fun here m80?

>>383583
Testing my probability strats.