Pitchfork - the Quest from Hell

>>1535319
Jess Winder

File: girl.jpg (47KB, 500x333px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 500x333px

>>1535332
>Jess Winder
Your name is JESSICA WINDER-KRAMER, but you prefer to be simply called JESS. Right now, you're actively checking out the mess that is your hair in the mirror.
You are a FIRST YEAR COLLEGE STUDENT, studying ECONOMICS. However, it is summer break right now, and you work in the local LIBRARY as a cleaning lady of sorts.
You have a tendency for getting rather NERVOUS AMONGST LARGE GROUPS OF PEOPLE and get easily exhausted in these kinds of situations. You solve your struggles with social life by simply NOT HAVING ONE, having a single friend on the other side of town. Most of your interpersonal activities consist either of talking with her, or lurking around on 4CHAN and pretending to be a MISERABLE, MIDDLE AGED NEET with a WIDE COLLECTION OF UNSETTLING FETISHES. You aren't middle aged or a NEET, and your fetishes or lack thereof are strictly your private business, but you sure are MISERABLE.
Your friend says your COOKING SKILLS are supreme, which is not untrue in the least; actually, cooking is one of your few hobbies. You sometimes contemplate that you should quit the econ course and enroll a CHEF SCHOOL. But only sometimes.
When feeling a bit down or bored, you're not averse to ALCOHOL, either; and you're not picky. The substances you ingest range from cheap beer to fine-as-fuck liquors, depending on what you can get your hands on. You have just woken up after such a SPREE OF CONSUMPTION, and dear god your head aches like hell. Your PHONE is persistently ringing, which doesn't help the aforementioned headache in the least.
While you don't know this yet, you'll be possessed by a demon in about 30 minutes.

>What do you do?

>>1535353

Have a sudden desire to read the bible and get a crucifix

>>1535353
Try to fix that mess of a hair. Jeez girl, it's like a willow tree and a bird's nest.

>>1535353
Fix that hair you filthy mess

>>1535376
>Have a sudden desire to read the bible and get a crucifix
Whatever you drank last night, it feels awful right now. At times like this you contemplate taking up the NUN'S HABIT and SWEARING OFF WORLDLY TEMPTATIONS COMPLETELY.
Not that you're terribly religious, but a profession where you have no access to alcohol sounds blissful when your body is actively punishing you for its consumption the previous night. You'd probably last a month or so before the sister superior would catch you with a secret booze stash though.
Alright, enough meditating on nunhood. You have at least three problems right now, and a bitch ain't either one, sadly.

>What do you do?

>>1535387
>>1535393
>Fix your hair
That's a good start, you suppose. As you're already in front of your MIRROR, you just have to open the drawer for your quote-unquote "beauty supplies".
Your drawer contains the following:
>One haircomb
>Two cans of deodorant
>A rarely-used makeup kit
>An odd necklace
>Some essential medicine

>>1535409
>Two cans of deodorant

gotta stay fresh

>>1535409
Pick up the necklace. Where did it come from?

File: necklace.jpg (46KB, 340x270px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 340x270px

>>1535428
>Examine necklace
Looks cheap. Probably one of those things you can buy on street corners for five bucks or less. The pointy parts sticking out appear to be teeth of some kind. The dice-like middle part is probably wood. The rest is mostly comprised of beads and such.
You don't exactly remember where you got it, actually. You recall that you went through a.. PHASE in early high school where you tried casting spells at people who pissed you off and such. You have a blurry recollection that you may have purchased the necklace during that time, but the exact circumstances thankfully remain in the recesses of your mind where you also store the memories of you EDGY OCS from the very same phase.

>>1535434
Alright, let's get back to that hair. Use the comb.

File: combing.jpg (19KB, 500x334px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 500x334px

>>1535519
>Use the comb
You put back the necklace into the drawer and retrieve your trusty HAIRCOMB. It's actually a HAIRBRUSH, not a comb - you're just used to referring to it as a comb as you don't use regular combs at all. Your hair is so awfully thick that you have broken more than one of them while trying to tame it, so after a while you've just switched to hairbrushes as they're sturdier.
You manage to comb your hair into a semi-acceptable condition and note that your phone has stopped ringing. You'll have to check who was it sometime later, but for now you have two more important issues: your torturous HEADACHE, and the fact that you're quite HUNGRY.

>>1535556
go get something to eat then

File: cupboard.jpg (494KB, 1600x1200px) Image search: [Google]

494KB, 1600x1200px

>>1535585
>Go get something to eat
You quickly retrieve two ASPIRIN PILLS from your drawer, then you close it and head for the kitchen.
You fill a glass with water and quickly gulp down the pills. As your headache lessens your mood exponentially improves. You decide that you're in the mood for cooking something up instead of eating Hot Pockets. You open your CUPBOARD to examine your INGREDIENTS.

>What will you cook?

>>1535718
Ramen, duh

What else?

File: yakisoba.jpg (68KB, 736x552px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 736x552px

>>1535755
>Make some ramen
Specifically, you're in the mood for chicken yakisoba, and you just so happen to have all the ingredients for it.
You quickly whip up the noodles and the other ingredients and sit down to eat. Some people would believe that there is nothing more to ramen than instant noodles in styrofoam cups and ORANGE-DRESSED ANIMATED NINJAS, but such people are usually either sadly misinformed or have all the gastronomical expertise of a shoe.
Damn, this stuff is good. You don't recall making it this spicy though. Like, eating this stuff feels like clawed hands pulling your brain inside out. You sarcastically think this is what demonic possession must feel like before losing consciousness.
Incidentally, you're 100% right.

File: tumultus.jpg (92KB, 1200x675px) Image search: [Google]

92KB, 1200x675px

> Be the demon
You're now the demon.
Hell has many echelons in its hierarchy. On the top there are the arch-devils, then the dukes, marqueses, presidents and arch-presidents, princes, grand demons, infernal commanders, legionaires, and then there is you.
You are a low-ranking LESSER DEMON. And by LOW-RANKING, you mean the errand boy of the legionnaires. You are a demon of Great President Valax, commander of thirty Infernal Legions.

>Reflect on your misery

Your name is TUMULTUS. As you've mentioned previously, you're a LESSER DEMON OF VALAX. Your kind is reknowned for its power of TRUESIGHT, an ability you also possess, but due to your INEXPRESSABLY HORRIBLE MAGICAL POTENTIAL, can only rarely use.
You spend most of your time serving as the ERRAND BOY for a bunch of smug VALAXITE LEGIONAIRES. What little free time you have is spent with the reading of books, of which you have a VERITABLE LITTLE LIBRARY, and studying HUMAN CULTURE. Your goal is to succesfully pull off a POSSESSION, thus gaining a host body you can borrow at any time you wish, sort of like a HUMANOID SUMMER HOUSE. Because, honestly, you're SO DONE WITH THIS BULLSHIT. The bullshit that is Hell and your underdog status, more precisely.
You just screwed up another possession attempt. Your target had an INFERNAL ARTIFACT in their possession, which helped you gather your magicks, and yet you still failed. You are slowly coming to terms with the fact that a FRUIT FLY has more demonic potential than you.
You are currently in your LIVING CAULDRON, and not your HUMAN HOST, regrettably.

>What do you do?

>>1535800

Become an angel again

Those wings you had were fluffy

Living couldron?

File: NO2.jpg (42KB, 1024x736px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 1024x736px

>>1535803
>Become an angel again
There are so many things wrong with this thought you don't even know where to begin.
First off, you never were an angel to begin with. You are a LESSER DEMON, you were basically created to be the doormat of your legion, and as such you have never set foot in Heaven.
Second, if ascending to angelhood was so easy that even someone like you could do it, then what's LUCIFER doing in LAKE COCYTUS instead of staging another rebellion against the Enemy?
Third off the majority of angels don't actually have wings, but whatever, that's just SMALL SEMANTICS compared to the monumental idiocy of the rest of this thought you've just had. It's like you completely forgot how demons work in the first place, which is understandable seeing as your thoughts are mostly directed towards how INEXPRESSABLY FUCKING PISSED you are at the faliure of your possession.

>>1535835

Oh, so we aren't Fallen, we're literally a parasite

ok

File: tumultus-cauldron.jpg (45KB, 415x415px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 415x415px

>>1535819
>Examine your living cauldron
This is your own little "house", so to speak, although it's more like a blend of a massive cauldron and a labyrinth, as per demonic tastes. It's your own, and nobody else's, it spawned together with you into Hell as a construct of your wretched SOUL and its size, comfort level and complexity are directly proportional to your DEMONIC POWER.
As such, it's rather small and pretty dingy.
The cauldron consists of a small ANTECHAMBER (6), a LIVING ROOM (2), a DEATH TRAP to ward off burglars (3), a small LIBRARY (4), a BEDCHAMBER (1), an unused ARMORY (5) which mostly serves as a place for even more books, and a BATHROOM (7). You do not have a kitchen, as you prefer to eat out.
You currently reside in your LIVING ROOM, the center of which is place to a CHALK HEPTAGRAM you used in your attempt for POSSESSION.

>>1535870
can we attempt another possession ?
if not, try doing some "demonic workout" to increase our power

>>1535892
Why dont we try to check the library first, so we can see why we failed the last one?

>>1535896
yeah sounds good

>>1535892
>Attempt possession again
Sadly, your MAGICK has almost ran out from this one attempt. All you have enough power for right now is a few uses of your TRUESIGHT or
UNHOLY WHISPERING. If you could get your target to somehow put on the INFERNAL ARTIFACT, it could serve as a GATEWAY or as a way to FOCUS what little remaining power you have at the moment. However, she's probably unconscious, seeing as that's what failed possessions do to the mortal on their receiving end.

>>1535911

Shank another demon that's as weak as you and eat their power

>>1535914
either this or
>>1535911
try unholy whispering on jess

>>1535914
We can invite they into our cauldron making it pay us in exchange for an easy possesion. While he is chanting, we shank him.

File: books.jpg (151KB, 960x640px) Image search: [Google]

151KB, 960x640px

>>1535896
>Check library.
You decide to consult the massive amounts of books that you own for some possible advice. Your collection ranges from ELDRITCH TOMES OF UNSPEAKABLE HORROR to HUMAN COMIC BOOKS and MAGAZINES, though you believe that the comic books won't be much help for demonic possession.

>Which book will you read?

>>1535920
A hell phone book, in order to look for any idiot weak and stupid enough to fall into this >>1535919
trap?

>>1535914
>Shank another demon to steal their power
Now this is an idea you can get behind. You make a mental note to try this out the next time you're in town
>Whisper to Jess
There needs to be someone who hears the whispering, which, sadly, only works on conscious targets. You're much too weak for causing satanic nightmares and all that Exorcist-level bullshit.
...Yes, you've watched the Exorcist. It's almost funny how wrong it is about everything.

>>1535926
Supporting

also

>Sharpen our hellshank

>>1535926
>Phonebook of Hell
You find the heavy, skin-bound tome of the dread Phone Book.
There could be a way to woo a fellow Lesser Demon, but you're close to none for them to trust you. The only ones who do are the idiot LEGIONNAIRES who bully you, but they are too powerful to shank.
> How do you plan on luring a Lesser Demon into your cauldron?

File: tumultus2.jpg (75KB, 740x740px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 740x740px

>>1535931
>Sharpen your hellshank.
You regurgitate your PITCHFORK from your left head, and head over to the armory to SHARPEN it.
It feels kind of dumb seeing as you're the hellish equivalent of an ERRAND BOY, but whatever. The pitchfork shall be sharpened.

>>1535933

offer to suck their dick for some soulstuff

Then stab 'em with their pants down

>>1535949
>Offer head
...No.
No way.
You're not THAT desperate.

>>1535952
We aren't
But they think we are
It's the perfect diversion

File: grimoire3.jpg (199KB, 1080x740px) Image search: [Google]

199KB, 1080x740px

>>1535958
>Pretend to offer head
Hmmm. It's humiliating, but it's not like you have anything to lose in terms of reputation, and if you don't actually have to suck their dicks, you might be down with this.
The Dread Phone Book lists the HELLPHONE numbers of the three idiot LEGIONNAIRES who bully you, as well as your INFERNAL COMMANDER.
>Infernal Commander Rakhael: 666-153-644
>Legionnaire Zezeon: 666-264-636
>Legionnaire Kunigunda: 666-469-321
>Legionnaire Agroppo: 666-997-172

>Who you gonna call?

We can offer them an easy human to posses in exchange of gold or some hellstone (whatever that is) When they start to prepare the ceremony, we shank them and take all the loot.

What currency is it used in Hell? Souls?

>>1535976
The most stupid one. Agroppo seems like the dumb one of the bunch.

>>1535976
>>Legionnaire Agroppo: 666-997-172
Yeah, Agroppo's a retard, go for him.

File: hellphone.jpg (331KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

331KB, 500x500px

>>1535988
>Phone Agroppo
You head over to your BEDCHAMBER and retrieve your HELLPHONE. You dial 666-997-172 and wait while the TORTURED SCREAMS OF THE FALLEN signify what would be signified by repeated beeping in the human world.

((I'll be back in a few hours, I've got shit to do, keep this thread afloat in the meantime please.))

While waiting ponder about all the possible ways of killing a demon

>>1536045
stab him in the throat

op is dead, post succubi

>>1536059
Thicc succubi?

>>1536084
ye

with big tiddies

>>1536090
OP is not dead, like I said he's busy. Succubi eat up the post limit, just keep the thread alive till I get back please.

Op is not dead he is ALIVE bussy with something called real life, i have no idea what it is though

File: hell2.jpg (33KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 640x480px

>>1536045
>Ponder how to kill a demon
While waiting for that asshole Agroppo to pick up his damn phone, you consider how to carry out the SECOND PART of your "trick and shank" plan.
It's not all that difficult to kill a legionnaire demon, actually. A stab usually does the trick, and you think your PITCHFORK is sufficient for this task. The souls of the dead demons go to burn in the PITS along with the souls of the FALLEN HUMANS, and remain there forever. You doubt anyone would miss Agroppo - his commander Rakhael would just replace him with another Legionnaire.
That said, you don't actually plan on MURDERING the fucker, seeing as Zezeon and Kunigunda would probably come after you for revenge, and they wouldn't fall for your tricks after you killed their friend no matter how stupid they both are. You just want to stab him a little, "borrow" his demonic power, possess the alcoholic loser currently lying out cold in her apartment, and you'll be free of all this bullshit FOREVER.

Agroppo finally picks up the phone.
"Yes, yes, hello, praise Lucifer and all those pleasantries. Who is it?"
In hindsight it was a good idea to call specifically him of the three. All of them are UNSPEAKABLY DUMB, but Agroppo is the dumbest due to the simple fact that he actually considers himself smart. If you play this right, he'll underestimate you enough so that the fable perceptiousness of VALAXITE DEMONS won't help him see through your blaringly obvious ruse.
>Begin conversation. What do you say?

>>1537453
> i have good succ at my place come over

>>1537453
Interested in an easy posession?. Get some cheap souls for the ritual and you are set up for the best holidays of your inmortal life

File: tumultus-no.png (397KB, 627x353px) Image search: [Google]

397KB, 627x353px

>>1537549
>"i have good succ at my place come over"
That is the exact opposite of a good idea. The demon on the other end of the phone is stupid, not braindead.
A little more finesse is still needed, and that's putting aside the fact that you wouldn't be caught dead saying "succ".

Instead, you utter an infinitisemally less transparent lie:
>"Interested in an easy posession?. Get some cheap souls for the ritual and you are set up for the best holidays of your inmortal life."
"Haha, Tumultus, is that you? Why do you sound like a soul salesman all of a sudden? Anyway, buddy, what kind of easy possession could a little guy like you offer? I'm not even mocking you, I'm genuinely curious."
Not mocking your ass. You know full damn well he's mocking you. However, he sounds like he's lowered his guard already.
>What will you say next?

>Got a nice human chick unconscious and ready for a strong and handsome demon such as you. Yo get me some souls and I will get you a nice holiday up there.

>>1537799
>"Got a nice human chick unconscious and ready for a strong and handsome demon such as you. Yo get me some souls and I will get you a nice holiday up there."
"Wow, will you look at that! I can't believe what I'm hearing, you managed to knock out an entire human? If even a total failure at being a demon like you can do that, you can truly do anything you put your mind to!"
Sure, you said you wouldn't murder him, but a llittle GOUGING OUT OF EYES has never killed anyone, RIGHT?!
"I think I'm interested, Tumultus buddy. Don't worry, I'll bring your souls. You did the right thing by calling a real demon to handle the real demon stuff instead of trying to stick your nose into it. It's a good thing to know one's limitations! Anyway, I'll be coming over. Praise Lucifer!"
*click*
Oooooh, you'll soon learn a thing or six about KNOWING YOUR LIMITATIONS, you arrogant son of a bitch.

>What do you do while you wait for Agroppo to arrive?

>>1537985
masturbate while we wait

File: tumultus-truesight.png (705KB, 815x713px) Image search: [Google]

705KB, 815x713px

>>1538299
>Masturbate while we wait
You briefly entertain the thought of SHAMEFUL SELF-POLLUTION, but your COMPLETE LACK OF A SEX DRIVE means you don't really do that.
However, there is one perverted thing you COULD to, and that's to check on the human you knocked out.
Gathering up your small remaining reserve of MAGICK, you activate your TRUESIGHT. Your eyes light up with a satanic flare as your gaze burns through the barriers between Hell and Earth, and reveal that your future summer home is indeed waking up!

OP is going to bed now. Keep the thread afloat again, I will get back tomorrow.

>>1538827
Look through your book of things to do as a human. Maybe try to figure out what to do first with your new body.

But maybe do the demonic equivalent of the "success" meme first.

File: IMG_5911.jpg (63KB, 722x798px) Image search: [Google]

63KB, 722x798px

This is the best i can do

File: book.png (2MB, 1198x853px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1198x853px

>>1539374
>Look through your book of things to do as a human.
You put down your HELLPHONE and go back to the LIBRARY. After a quick search, you retrieve your very own copy of the BOOK OF THINGS TO DO AS A HUMAN, by the legendary INFERNAL GENERAL KOKADRIA, veteran of many EXORCISMS.
You love this book and read it several times over; in fact, it was the basis of your knowledge of human culture before you started earnestly RESEARCHING IT. It covers every basic field of human life from jobs to recreation to culinary pleasures, written by a demon who has personally experienced it in several human hosts before getting rudely evicted by angry priests and, in at least one case, a LESSER ANGEL.
You consider the kind of host you chose, and what do you need to do to blend in their body, and promptly flip to the part about COOKING.
The things this woman may cook with the ingredients in her possession are MOUTH-WATERING. You decide that you will possess her as quickly as you can just so you can experience this stuff.

File: passedout.jpg (5KB, 259x194px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 259x194px

>Be Jess
You are now Jess.
You just came to your senses after inexplicably blacking out in your kitchen. Your CHICKEN YAKISOBA has gone cold, and your head hurts again.

>What do you do?

>>1540449
I clearly need another drink.

File: whisky.png (169KB, 383x254px) Image search: [Google]

169KB, 383x254px

>>1540548
>Have another drink
Fuck it, if you're going to be miserable all day anyway, you might as well go the extra mile.
You go over to your LIVING ROOM, where you passed out on the sofa last night. On the ground there are various ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES and an empty GLASS. You pour yourself a WHISKY and gulp it down.

"And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit." - Ephesians 5:18
It is said that alcohol is the Devil. While not literally true, the two definitely have a connection.
You are now BUZZED, and your WILLPOWER has been lowered. Your DEMONIC SUSCEPTIBILITY has increased.

((Note: Right now you are allowed to suggest command for either Jess or Tumultus.))

>>1540627
have tumultus prepare everything to kill agroppo
jess should just eat something and take aspirin

>>1540627
Tumultus
Make sure the summoning circle is in nearly working order. have a small part of it missing or smudged enough that it wont work, but still looking like it should work. Can't risk this idiot accidentally possessing OUR host.

File: heptagram-smudged.png (1MB, 1023x1024px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1023x1024px

>>1540634
>Tumultus: Prepare everything to shank Agroppo
You carefully redraw the CHALK HEPTAGRAM on the floor of your LIVING ROOM, then erase a small part with your tail. If Agroppo notices that you already tried to use it, he might get suspicious, but you also can't just let him successfully pull off the possession.
You retrieve your PITCHFORK from the armory where you left it next to your WHETSTONE. It's nice and sharp now, equally good for POKING THE BURNING SOULS OF THE DAMNED in the Pits like human stereotypes would have you believe, or for STABBING A STUCK-UP MOTHERFUCKER currently en route to your cauldron. You plan to do the latter relatively soon.
With everything set up, you sit back and wait.

>Jess: Finish your breakfast and pop some aspirin
You set down the glass and go back to your kitchen. You eat your YAKISOBA cold as you left it. Your mood is lousy all over again.
After finishing your noodles, you go back to your BEDROOM and open the DRAWER beneath the mirror. The drawer still contains the following items:
>One haircomb
>Two cans of deodorant
>A rarely-used makeup kit
>An odd necklace
>Some essential medicine

>>1540655
>put on the odd necklace

>>1540658
>Put on the odd necklace
The combination of headache, drunkennes and previous loss of consciousness arms you with amazing nonchalance and you decide to put on the ODD NECKLACE for whatever reason. You feel like it's a good idea, and the necklace seems weirdly VALUABLE despite its cheap appearance.
Beware, drunk witch Jess and her cursed necklace coming through, BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKERS!
You briefly consider digging up your OLD OCS while you're at it, but you don't. You're not that drunk yet.

File: heptagram-flash.gif (1MB, 1023x1024px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1023x1024px

>Be Tumultus
You are now a very surprised Tumultus. You are surprised because you SMUDGED CHALK HEPTAGRAM has lit up with SPARKS OF DEMONIC POWER! Even though you went out of the way to ensure it won't function, arcs of DEMONIC POWER flash through the gap. Seems like the heptagram has locked onto the INFERNAL ARTIFACT you tried to connect it to earlier!
Agroppo will be here any moment, you don't have the time to shut it down properly, and also you might have a chance to try the possession again!

>What do you do?

>>1540686
Drink more

>>1540690
lets pretend you dont understand whats happening and wait for agroppo to investigate it, then kill him and try the possession

>>1540692
>Jess: Drink more
You stumble back to your LIVING ROOM and pour yet another glass of whisky. You drink said whisky.
You feel amazing and awful at the same time.
God, you're such a mess.

>>1540690
Murder Agroppo as soon as he enters your cauldron and the posses the bitch

>>1540695
>Tumultus: Wait for Agroppo
You ignore the sizzling CHALK HEPTAGRAM on the floor for now, and peek out the window of your LIVING CAULDRON. Indeed, you spot AGROPPO on the end of the street.
You hide your PITCHFORK behind a drawer, so that you won't have to waste time with regurgitating it again.

As soon as you're done, AGROPPO knocks on the door.
"Tumultus buddy, are you there? I'm here for that possession thing you mentioned."

>>1540701
Open door and let him in.
Tell him to go in to kitchen and follow him, with your pitchfork, as soon as he turns his back to you stab him in the back of the neck.

>>1540722
>Invite Agroppo to your kitchen
You would probably do that, however, you don't own one! You prefer to eat out, so you never cook for yourself.
You'll have to think of something else.

>>1540844
act like your panicking because the pentagram activated without you doing anything, then backstab him

Invite him into the living room and ask him to investigate the portal, whilst pour him a drink and get ready to shank him

File: agroppo3.png (648KB, 1152x648px) Image search: [Google]

648KB, 1152x648px

>>1540847
>Feign panic and let him in
You open the door of your living cauldron. Agroppo is standing outside with a look of incredulity on his face.
"Finally! You'd think you could at least open your door if I come over here just for you!"
His voice is rough and worn, but mocking. He is KINDA OLD, actually. That's why he considers himself smarter and more experienced, when in reality a BAG OF ROCKS could beat him in a game show.
You gulp down your pride and make the best "panicked" voice you can.
"Agroppo, thank Lucifer you're here! T-the heptagram I prepared for you is acting all weird! Look!" You point to the CHALK HEPTAGRAM in your living room, which is still throwing DEMONIC BOLTS OF ENERGY all over the place.
Agroppo lifts one eyebrow.
"Well, I guess that's what I can expect when you prepare the ritual. Stand aside, Tumultus buddy, let me handle it properly." He pushes you out of the way as he slithers through your antechamber on his way to your living room.
He didn't even notice that the heptagram isn't malfunctioning but active, and he thinks he can handle it better than you?! You look forward to stabbing this smug, conceited prick.

>>1540701
Jess should bring out her witching book
And go on the neet

>>1540898
Wait for him to fix/ do it himslfs and just before he can takr the over jess you stab then take his place

>>1540904
this

File: x.png (76KB, 508x522px) Image search: [Google]

76KB, 508x522px

>>1540900
>>1540904
>Jess: Retrieve your witching book and go on the net
Actually, you know what, you really will dig up your OLD OCS. You don't give a fuck anymore, Drunk Witch Jess may find her edgy highschool original characters salvageable.
You go to your DESK and open all of its drawers. After throwing 70% of its contents out onto the floor, you find your old WITCHCRAFT SCRAPBOOK, as well as a copy of Heinrich Kramer's MALLEUS MALEFICARUM, a medieval manual on the identification and killing of WITCHES. You also bought this during your PHASE as a way of "know thy enemy" to prepare for any potential witch hunters. Of course, you encountered none, but it MADE SENSE TO YOU BACK THEN.
After arming yourself with your scrapbook and witch hunter handbook, you turn on your bulky DESKTOP COMPUTER and open Google Chrome.
You bang in "boards.4chan.org/x/" to the search bar and post a new thread:
"I'm a witch with a cursed necklace. AMA"
Perfect. You are absolutely certain that the kindhearted anons of /x/ will have all sorts of intriguing questions. Ain't no way this can go wrong.
((You may directly ask questions from Jess as an anon on /x/.))

>Tumultus: Wait for the perfect opportunity, then shank the fucker
Agroppo approaches your HEPTAGRAM and examines it with great concentration.
"Oh, of course it's acting weird! See, there's a small part of the line missing here! Tsk, tsk, tsk, Tumultus buddy. I know you're a bit... slow when it comes to demon stuff but you should know to always double-check!" You feel like you're about to explode with rage. He doesn't even notice that you smudged it on purpose but he want's to educate you on this?!
Agroppo picks up your CHALK from beside the heptagram. You pick up your PITCHFORK from behind the cupboard.
Today, this asshole draws his last chalk line.

File: donald d tips.jpg (18KB, 209x200px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 209x200px

>>1541026
>going to /x/
tipping intensifies, dont you know witches aint real

>>1541034
>tipping intensifies, dont you know witches aint real
"But anon, I'm right here. I'm real."
You accompany this insightful comment with an absolutely unfitting reaction image.

>Tumultus: SHANK
You grip your PITCHFORK with your tail and take aim. With a well-aimed lunging motion, you lodge the weapon into Agroppo's BACK. You pull it out, and then stab him again. And again. He only lets out a single yelp.
After the third stab, you finally pull out, turn the pitchfork around and whack him over the head with its HANDLE. He collapses on the floor like a sack of potatoes, with nine bleeding stab wounds in his back.
You stand above the CARNAGE you've made of the legionnaire. Your pitchfork drips with green blood.
...God, this felt so good.

>What do you do now?

>>1541113
try possessing jess
also can we like take some of agroppos power ?

File: tumultus-power.gif (439KB, 494x470px) Image search: [Google]

439KB, 494x470px

>>1541118
>Absorb Agroppo's power
Time to take the only thing from him that you consider good in him. You originally considered luring him to your cauldron with a FAKE PROMISE OF BLOWJOBS, but in the end there was no need for that. However, there is at least one activity you plan on doing today that involves DRAINING something.
Before you begin, you nervously glance toward the HEPTAGRAM and note with relief that it's still sparking and crackling. Then you concentrate on Agroppo's prone body and begin EATING HIS POWER.

You are immediately reminded of the innate differences in power level between a LEGIONNAIRE like Agroppo and a LESSER DEMON such as yourself. He has absolutely staggering amounts of power compared to you, and it surges into your veins like a searing hot flame. You are immediately overwhelmed with his DEMONIC POTENTIAL - your body has never held this much power. Nevertheless you keep draining it as much as you can - whatever you don't absorb will go to waste when he eventually succumbs to his wounds and you want to have enough to try again if the POSSESSION goes wrong somehow.

Eventually you can't take anymore power and stop draining Agroppo. You are painfully reminded that you are a lesser demon whose magickal capacity is a fraction of that of a proper legionnaire - you feel like a bottle filled with high-pressure air - your body is boiling with DEMONIC ENERGY and you feel like you might explode with a burst of hellfire any moment now.
You have to quickly use your surplus magick for something before you overload your body!

>>1541288
possess jess
how would we go about increasing our demon level ?

>>1541288
possess jess

Also jess tits or get the fuck out

And try to hex me

File: possession3.gif (7MB, 900x901px) Image search: [Google]

7MB, 900x901px

>>1541293
>>1541433
>Tumultus: Possess Jess
You will think about how to increase your demon level when you're not in danger of puking hellfire anymore. You slither in the center of the HEPTAGRAM and begin chanting in the old DEMONIC TONGUE.
"Engede urdung intetvinec. eſ evec oʒ tiluvt gimilſtwl. eſ oʒ gimilſben halalut evec. Eſ oʒ gimilſnec wl keſeruv uola viʒe. hug turchucat mige ʒocoʒtia vola. Num heon muga nec. ge mend w foianec halalut evec. Horoguvec iſten. eſ veteve wt eʒ muncaſ vilagbele. eſ levn halalnec eſ puculnec feʒe. eſ mend w nemenec."
You let out all your suprlus magick into the heptagram. You manage to control its flow for exactly one second before it slips through your metaphorical fingers and begins an uncontrollable chain reaction.
You feel all the magic rushing out of you and then you see a blinding white flash.

>Jess: Tits or GTFO, also try to hex me
Your merry drunken SHITPOSTING is interrupted by a weird pulling feeling. It's like your NECKLACE is getting heavier and heavier. You tear away your eyes from the anons suggesting that you show them your boobs and/or place a curse upon them and glance at the necklace - the four teeth hanging from it are GLOWING RED for some reason. You try to rationalize what you see before you are pulled inside out through an endless screaming void.

File: titlecard.png (2MB, 1200x675px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1200x675px

>

>

>

>Be Jess
You are now JESSICA WINDER-KRAMER.
You spent the bigger part of day getting drunk, passing out and acting like a total idiot.
You are not drunk anymore, in fact you're completely sober.
Which will help a lot with coming to terms with the fact that you appear to inhabit the body of a SMALL, TWO-HEADED SNAKE.

>What will you do?

>>1541896
Notice corpse in the room.

"I should have just posted tits."

File: tumultus-room.png (721KB, 1001x600px) Image search: [Google]

721KB, 1001x600px

>>1541907
>Examine your surroundings, notice corpse
After the spinning feeling in your head subsides, you look around to get a grip on where you are. Moving as a two-headed snake-thing is kind of weird, but you think you'll get used to it.
...This definitely isn't your APARTMENT.
You're in a ROOM, yes, but it's not your BEDROOM where you were just a moment ago. Aside from the fact that its dimensions are different, it has BLACK IRON WALLS and a floor made out of some kind of RED STONE. There are numerous chests along the walls, as well as two BOOKSHELVES completely full of various BOOKS. The room reeks of SULFUR, which seems to emanate from the smoldering, smoking DRAWING OF CHALK on the floor, in the middle of which you reside.
You are so overwhelmed by all the new information that you almost miss the BLEEDING, SERPENTINE CORPSE on the floor when you turn around.
The combination of the completely alien body you inhabit, the red-black room you're in and the corpse you just saw prompts you to do the only logical thing you can and scream.

The OP sleeps tonight
Keep the thread alive until tomorrow folks

>Jess: Inspect corpse
It's FUCKING DEAD.
You're no coroner, but it seems most likely that the cause of death was the nine gaping STAB WOUNDS on its back. Furthermore, the instrument of murder is probably the TRIDENT OR PITCHFORK that is lying next to the body, seeing as its prongs are coated in the same green blood that drips from the wounds.
The corpse is lying face-first on the floor right next to the CHALK DRAWING in which you are. It kind of looks like a cobra, except at least ten feet long. Also, cobras usually don't have FEATHERED AND CLAWED ARMS. Furthermore cobras usually don't wear METAL PAULDRONS either.
You don't dare turning it around because a) you don't want to touch a corpse, and b) you suspect you won't find a regular snake head where its FACE is.
There is a BELT going around its "waist", holding a POUCH of some sort, and there is a piece of CHALK in its left hand.

>>1544671
>take the pouch

File: pouch.png (415KB, 870x518px) Image search: [Google]

415KB, 870x518px

>>1544685
>Take the pouch
Carefully, you remove the POUCH from the corpse - in the process you are startled to find that it is not a corpse at all, as there is a faint HEARTBEAT! Seems like this cobra-thing is not dead yet, although it's definitely dying.
The pouch contains the following:
>Nineteen (19) BRASS COINS
>Two (2) FAINTLY SCREAMING BLACK VIALS
>One (1) CELLPHONE-LIKE DEVICE

>>1544743
take the trident and make sure he stays down (kill him)

>>1544758
>Retrieve trident, finish off cobra-thing
You take the TRIDENT up from the floor and grip it in your tail. Your aim falters a bit.
...No way. You can't do this. You can't murder this weird dying snake monster. Your frazzled nerves simply can't bring you to stab.
You lower your tail with the trident in it.

You think you'd rather just wait until it dies by itself. It can't take much time.

>>1544799
>>1544743
Try to call your house or someone you know

>>1544881
>Attempt phone calls
You take the CELLPHONE-LIKE DEVICE out of the pouch. After a little fidgeting around you find that it functions exactly like a cellphone, so there is no point in calling it a CELLPHONE-LIKE DEVICE.
You dial your HOME NUMBER. You feel a quick rush of fatigue and the phone attempts to connect! However, instead of beeping, the phone lets out TERRIFYING SCREAMS.
Why is everything screaming here? You start to suspect that you might be in HELL.
Naturally nobody picks up, since your body is probably still sitting in front of the computer, EMPTY EYES FACING THE ANONS OF /X/. However, you now know that whatever place you're in has phone connectivity, although using it saps SOME KIND OF ENERGY from you for some reason.
You could try calling THE ONE FRIEND THAT YOU HAVE, or look through the phone's CALL HISTORY to see what kind of people the cobra-thing phones.

>>1544999
Call friend

>>1544999
CALL 666 FOR EMERGENCY RESPONDENTS

>>1544999

Call friend

Look at the books

>>1545057
>Call 666 for emergency respondents
In order to test your previous hypothesis, you punch in 666 and wait. Without any pause, someone immediately answers with a bone-chilling growl of a voice.
"VYLAG UILA GA VIRAGNAK UIRAGA. KEſERUEN KYNʒATHUL UOſ ſCEGEGKEL WERETHUL?"
The question resonates in your very spine and you feel compelled to answer truthfully about a very specific topic. All that comes out of your throat(s) is a high-pitched squeak.
"Y-yes, there is an emergency-"
Before you could utter another word, the DYING COBRA-THING vanishes from the room with a loud bang and a burst of orange flames. All that remains in its place is even more sulfuric stench. The person on the other side of the line promptly hangs up.
...Yep, that settles it. You're definitely in Hell.

File: brighton-talking.png (401KB, 502x342px) Image search: [Google]

401KB, 502x342px

>>1545032
>>1545142
>Call friend
You type in your friend's phone number, bear the rush of fatigue and wait for the HELLISH SCREAMING to subside. You're sure you'll eventually get used to this... odd method of telecommunication, but for now you feel like you're good for only one or two more phone calls before you faint.
On the other end your FRIEND picks up the phone. Her nonchalant mezzo voice chimes into the speaker.
"Hey, it's BRIGHTON MACKENZIE. Who is it?"

>Begin conversation. What do you say?

>>1545407
so how you doing ? jess here

>>1545505
>"How you doing? Jess here."
Your voice is kind of hissy, squeaky and more masculine than usual, but you can still discern your own voice in your words. You hope Brighton does too.
"Jess...? Is that you, girl? The sound quality is shit, you sound all hissy."
Thank god, she knows it's you. If she knew you're currently a TWO-HEADED SNAKE literally phoning her from Hell...
"Anyway, where have you been? I tried to call you earlier today, but you never picked up."
Oh.
Oh.
So that's who it was.

>So where have you been?

>>1545789
i was in bed, i had an awful headache

>>1545789
>>1545793
Which was YOUR fault by the way. Did you really have to drag me through EVERY bar in town trying to get me to hook up with someone?

>>1545992
Oh, and that guy who did follow me home, turns out, he was a priest who, all of the sudden, remembered his vows. C-can you believe that?

>>1545793
>>1545992
>>1546013
>"I was in bed, I had an awful headache. Which was YOUR fault by the way. Did you really have to drag me through EVERY bar in town trying to get me to hook up with someone? Oh, and that guy who did follow me home, turns out, he was a priest who, all of the sudden, remembered his vows. C-can you believe that?"
"Well, nobody forced you to take home all those drinks, or did I? You are fully responsible for your own hangover, girl."
You really, really wish Brighton stopped trying to introduce you to the JOYS OF SOCIAL LIFE, especially by taking you BAR-HOPPING on weekends. Ironically, she, the more extroverted of the two of you, never drinks as much as you, but you certainly need it too, considering the kind of guys who approach the two of you to TRY AND PICK YOU UP. So far, neither of these attempts had ended in success. Your previously-acquired habit of ETHANOL CONSUMPTION definitely comes in handy in dealing with these "outings" that Brighton convinced you to do lately.
The remark about the PRIEST is a joke though, it's an in-joke that you share with her. In retrospect, it would have been a good thing if there really was a priest in your apartment today, seeing as you are LITERALLY IN HELL at the moment.
"Seriously though, is everything alright, Jess? Do you need me for something or did you just wanna check on me?"

>>1546071
I guess I'm feeling a little out of sorts. Though.... if I told you I was possessed and am calling you from hell right now, would you believe it?

>>1546071
I need you to come over to my place
I think something has happened and im in hell

Come save me

We shall see if Brighton believes your claims tomorrow, but now OP sleeps once again. Keep the thread afloat etc. etc.

>>1546423
Sleep is gor the weak!!??

>>1546568
who is this gor the weak

>>1546579
The next person we shank

And was to be for the weak

>>1546120
>>1546274
Seconded

>>1546120
>>1546274
>>1548033
>Inform her that you're in Hell
"Well, I think I'm more or less alright. Though... Can I ask you something?"
"Sure, sure, anything for ya. Shoot."
You gulp and prepare for the big one.
"Could... Could you come over to my place ASAP? And maybe like, check on me? I think I'm in HELL."
There is a long silence on the other end of the line.
Then Brighton erupts:
"Holy shit, Jess, just what did you drink last night?! Hell? That's how bad it is? Don't worry a moment, Dr. MacKenzie's coming over and she's bringing you medication!"
"That's... thank you Brighton. You're a godsend sometimes, you know?"
"Of course, of course. What would you ever do without me, you mess" - she teases you. "Anyway I'll be on my way now to rescue you from 'Hell'. See ya!"
"...See you." - She hangs up with a quiet beep.
You're all alone again in the black iron room. It was hard carrying a normal conversation in your honestly SHOCKED state, but you were successful.
She thought you meant Hell metaphorically, but she's on her way to your APARTMENT and that's what counts. You're so glad to have her as a friend.

>What will you do now?

>>1548503
Explore the cauldron.

Also, are we still able to control Tumultus?

>>1548509
>Measure your stamina
It appears that you still control your new SNAKE BODY without much issue, although the PHONE CALLS have taken a lot out of you so you're starting to TIRE. The bigger issue seems to be that you have no idea how to STOP being a snake and return to being a drunk idiot again.

>Go and explore
You figure that if you're going to have to hang out in Hell for a while, it would be a waste to spend it all in a single room. Might as well go and explore a bit before Satan arrives and sticks you into a CAULDRON or something.
You know you're in a BUILDING but you don't know what kind. There are six DOORWAYS leading out of the room you're in. Four disappear in curving CORRIDORS, one leads to a small CHAMBER with some mundane things in it and a CLOSED DOOR at the other end, and one leads to another similarly small chamber which is completely empty, and features a doorway which opens into a larger room with many BOOKSHELVES along the wall.

>Where will you go?

>>1548566
>library

File: ward.gif (2MB, 600x400px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 600x400px

>>1548587
Pass through the empty chamber to the large room
You enter the CUBICAL CHAMBER of bare red rock. You stride as confidently as one may stride without any legs to speak of, but before you can reach the doorway, it slams shut before you!
With a loud crack, strange circular SIGILS flare to life on the walls. Black CHAINS shoot out from their centers and shackle you in place. You are TRAPPED!

(Note: for some reason the thread has been locked on Page 3. It cannot be bumped up. I have no idea why.)

You struggle with the chains as they start to pull on you in different directions. However, there is no escape. The strain threatens to rip you apart.
Just when you think you're going to give in, the pull stops. The SIGILS seem to hesitate for a moment, as if they were THINKING THINGS OVER. Then, with a clang the chains release you and fall to the floor. The sigils disappear and the door opens back up.
...Whatever that was, it was a close shave. You may or may not have nearly died due to a GLITCH.

>Enter library
Now free from your chains, you enter the LARGE ROOM.
You only saw a few bookshelves from the other side of the building but damn, this place is STACKED. Shelves line all four walls of the room, stretching to the ceiling and threatening to collapse under the vast amount of BOOKS heaped onto them. Further piles of READING MATERIAL are scattered on the floor and on the TABLE in the middle of the room. There is an additional half-assembled shelf lying prone in one corner.
...Whoever lives here is without a doubt a MASSIVE FUCKING NERD.

>Inspect shelves
Upon more rigorous examination of the bookshelves, it seems like the question of "what does this person read" should be replaced with "what doesn't he read". You see Russian Classics, scientific journals, sorcery handbooks, manga collections, and a lot of very threatening-looking GRIMOIRES that sometimes seem to whisper when you turn your back. While there are plenty of titles that you recognize, about 70% of the books are completely unknown to you and don't seem like they were published on Earth either. You carefully put down the signed and dedicated copy of "The Joys of Flaying" by Shkabolax the Skintaker.
You might as well snoop around this netherworldly nerd's book collection a bit more.
>What will you read?

New thread: >>1549864