You Awaken in You Awaken in Banished Quest Quest Quest: Questing

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>>1193228
"There are no good quests." You chant to yourself. "Questing is dying."

Reaffirming your faith in what your masters have told you, you press on. Passing through the barrier between universes, you steel yourself. Moments pass, but then you feel the heat around you. You awaken in You Awaken in Banished Quest Quest. The temperature is noticeably higher than that of the cold air of North Carolina in winter. You recognize this location: Khmedi, the home village of the character Chryssa, now smouldering ruins.

Before you is a diminutive Asian """"man"""" holding a phone and a gun. Good, you're just in time. You have a chance to put a stop to this before it can even begin. Before you can formulate a plan to take him out, however, he takes off running, holding his arms behind himself and bending over as he does. He turns the corner. You sigh.

Following him, you find him gazing in awe at a distracted dragon. He mutters something about manipulating anons and enchanting before sitting down and closing his eyes. It seems he's attempting to meditate. After several minutes of absolutely nothing happening, it's clear that he has no magical power whatsoever. You walk up to him, creeping initially, before you realize that he has no situational awareness and drop the pretense of sneaking.

Reaching him, you begin to strangle him to death much like the mods are strangling questing to death. As the life drains from him, you hear him muttering something about having successfully channeled vys. You're glad everything went so smoothly. You monitor his dying corpse to ensure that his heart stops beating.

Thump. Thump.. Thump... Silence..

As the rhythmic pounding ceases, however, you're surprised to see the corpse of Rob vanish into nothingness. It's as if he was never there.

Shit! He's probably reincarnated somewhere else in the setting. You weren't thinking about cliched isekai mechanics. You mentally chastise yourself. Now you're at a crossroads. Rob is still in Banished Quest, attempting to revive it through the power of pure autism. You can't let that happen. You:

>Attempt to locate Rob again and use your isekai generator to pursue him
>Contact the ircabal. Things haven't gone according to plan and you need aid.
>Fuck off for now, no one can really pull BQ off its railroad tracks anyways. You can't help but recall the time the ircabal attempted to manipulate Mik into killing himself with an artificial soul shard, only to be shut down directly by Conductor Soma.

>>1193231
>Contact the ircabal. Things haven't gone according to plan and you need aid.

>>1193231
>Contact the ircabal. Things haven't gone according to plan and you need aid.

>>1193231
>Contact the ircabal. Things haven't gone according to plan and you need aid.

>>1193231
>meditate on the shaping arts

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>saw in catalog
>thought it was a surprise session
>it's this

>>1193279
Get fucked nerd.

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>>1193279
>Not wanting this

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>>1193296
>>1193307
ONE OF YOU IS SOMA I'M FUCKIN' SURE

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>>1193349
Nah, that'd be me.

>>1193231
Where the FUCK is the OP

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>>1193358
GOD

DAMN IT

>>1193236
>>1193254
>>1193257
Someone else can deal with it

>>1193269
Bait

>>1193279
Do you have a problem with my quest?

Anyways, starting to write now for:
>Contact the ircabal. Things haven't gone according to plan and you need aid

This is out of your depth. You need backup. You pull out your isekai generator which is struggling under the strain of maintaining an isekai recursive link to YAIBQQ. You use the embedded multiversal phone to connect to Rizon. You take comfort in the familiar names appearing in the #BanishedDiscussion channel. Although things are going wrong now, you have fond memories of manipulating BQ events from behind the scenes. You think back to all the poor decision made by Mikhael that were engineered by the ircabal. The Bar, the Crown, swinging the shockwave sword, Freeing Papa Dracolich and even the Mask. You know that things this time will turn out well just like they have before.

A message appears on your superior gui chat client.
> <marco_> hello
> <Adalwulf> hallo
> <iou1desktop> heyo
> <marco_> how are you doing?
> <iou1desktop> someone stole my fish today
> <Adalwulf> you lost own fish and you know it
> <iou1desktop> i had a whole net hanging from a tree to dry that i caught last night and some time today it was stolen
> <iou1desktop> fish don't just escape from net and walk off on their own you know
> <marco_> oh sorry to hear that
> <iou1desktop> Probably won't be eating until monday
> <Adalwulf> you should just take up my job offer I tell you it good way to eat
> <iou1desktop> I prefer an honest line of work.
> <Adalwulf> theres nothing wrong with feeding yourself
> <Adalwulf> no matter how
> <iou1desktop> If you feed yourself by taking others fish it is a problem.
> <Adalwulf> I take no fish dont you start with that
> <iou1desktop> Men in your line of work often do so to "feed themselves".
> <iou1desktop> Italian friend, would you agree that it is wrong to take other's fish in order to feed yourself?
> <Adalwulf> am man is not his brother
> <marco_> i agree. can't you ask for a loan and then return it?
> <Adalwulf> you can't return fish
> <Adalwulf> not in anyway someone would want
> <marco_> you can give some of the next you take
> <iou1desktop> You mean to repay your debt using other fish you take?
> <Adalwulf> that sound like how you make many enemy
> <marco_> yes. you ask fish to someone who has more and next time you take you will return it
> <iou1desktop> Analwulf is of terrible english and his sentences I still understand better.
> <Adalwulf> ?????? ????
> <iou1desktop> Are you suggesting to repay your debt to one man by asking for a loan from another?
> <iou1desktop> >boxes
> <marco_> no
> <iou1desktop> I told you stop with your witchcraft
> <marco_> you can ask to someone who has more fish to give you some, so you can eat until monday
> <marco_> and then, you will return part of the fish that you will capture next time
> <Adalwulf> the man he borrow from will not be able to eat
> <Adalwulf> and when he pay back he not be able to eat
> <iou1desktop> That is gambling on how many fish I can catch on monday

> <Adalwulf> it only make problem
> <marco_> can work if the other person has more fish than necessary
> <Adalwulf> that not happen
> <Adalwulf> people catch what they need
> <iou1desktop> Most catch what they need
> <iou1desktop> Some take from others what they feel they need.
> <Adalwulf> i no steal you idiot
> <Adalwulf> stop saying
> <iou1desktop> I make no accusations
> <Adalwulf> yes you do
> <Adalwulf> i know you when you accuse
> <iou1desktop> Only thinking that I see most people from village fishing regularly
> <iou1desktop> But I never see you by river
> <Adalwulf> i tell you i have good job
> <Adalwulf> i tell you to join with me
> <Adalwulf> but nooooooo
> <Adalwulf> you enjoy having fish stolen by dirty dogs
> <iou1desktop> Yes, this wonderful job of yours that somehow gets you fish without fishing.
> <Adalwulf> thats how job work idiot
> <Adalwulf> i do work for boss and he give fish
> <iou1desktop> I suppose people just give you fish that they need to eat
> <Adalwulf> boss have other people that fish extra for him
> <Adalwulf> you know this idiot
> <Adalwulf> don't be idiot
> <iou1desktop> No fish more than they need
> <iou1desktop> Is village tradition
> <Adalwulf> tradition is stupid
> <iou1desktop> To fish more is just being greedy
> <Adalwulf> its not greedy its smart
> <Adalwulf> idiot
> <iou1desktop> It displeases our ancestors to be greedy
> <iou1desktop> You know this
> <iou1desktop> Everyone know this
> <iou1desktop> No one fishing extra
> <Adalwulf> our ancestors would be proud to know we are doing so well
> <Adalwulf> you are just stupid idiot
> <iou1desktop> you are spitting on our ancestors
> <Adalwulf> you are spitting on our children
> <iou1desktop> you are spitting on our children by taking more fish than you need
> <iou1desktop> what if there is no more fish because you take so much?
> <Adalwulf> there will always be fish
> <iou1desktop> not if you fish extra
> <Adalwulf> no you idiot
> <iou1desktop> Everyone know this.
> <Adalwulf> everyone an idiot den
> <iou1desktop> No one fish extra because of this.
> <iou1desktop> Whole village agree.
> <Adalwulf> lots of people fish extra
> <iou1desktop> No
> <Adalwulf> only idiot like you agree
> <Adalwulf> stupid idiot
> <iou1desktop> Most people smart enough to know you don't fish extra
> <Adalwulf> no only you this idiot
> <iou1desktop> And take more from nature than necessary
> <Adalwulf> this why people steal your fish
> <Adalwulf> because you so stupid
> <iou1desktop> If everyone was fishing extra then no one would need to steal fish
> <Adalwulf> they take your fish because they hope you die
> <iou1desktop> Some people do steal though
> <Adalwulf> you too idiot to live
> <iou1desktop> Because no one fish extra
> <iou1desktop> Only some get fish by not fishing
> <Adalwulf> you big idiot
> <Adalwulf> big empty head

> <iou1desktop> Some who have wonderful jobs that don't need to fish
> <Adalwulf> i tell you that you can just talk to boss and you get job too
> <Adalwulf> stupid idiot
> <iou1desktop> Taking fish from others is wrong.
> <iou1desktop> I no talk to boss.
> <Adalwulf> he no take fish!
> <Adalwulf> this stupid talk
> <iou1desktop> No, instead he has workers take fish for him.
> <Adalwulf> I no do it more
> <Adalwulf> dont you talk bad about boss
> <Adalwulf> boss is good man
> <Adalwulf> he future of village
> <Adalwulf> not idiot talk like yous
> <iou1desktop> Good man who gets fish without fishing.
> <Adalwulf> he started off fishing just like us
> <iou1desktop> I never seen him at river.
> <iou1desktop> No one else I talk to do either.
> <Adalwulf> that because you no talk to old ones
> <iou1desktop> I talk to old ones.
> <Adalwulf> boss old and no fish no more
> <Adalwulf> he fish when young
> <Adalwulf> now he do better
> <iou1desktop> by leading ring of fish takers
> <Adalwulf> he no take fish you dirty dog idiot
> <Adalwulf> go throw self in river
> <iou1desktop> Throw dirty fish takers in river
> <Adalwulf> you dirty fish taker
> <EEEAUGH> Look at this, Marco
> <Adalwulf> dont think I dont remember when we young
> <EEEAUGH> Look at what you have done
> * Ishd has quit (Ping timeout: 240 seconds)
> <marco_> me?
> <EEEAUGH> You
> <marco_> why me
> <iou1desktop> Marco not take fish.
> <Adalwulf> no one here take fish you dumb idiot
> <EEEAUGH> Who else?
> <marco_> i haven't done nothing
> <EEEAUGH> You are a white man
> <EEEAUGH> Wherever you go, you bring conflict among my people
> <EEEAUGH> Even here
> <marco_> not true. they were conflicting by themselves. i only asked how was going and said that i was sorry for what happened
> <marco_> and tried to help
> <EEEAUGH> No
> <EEEAUGH> There was no argument until you came
> <EEEAUGH> This is not a coincidence
> <marco_> they can confirm
> <EEEAUGH> They can confirm you brought ruin here like you have to my country
> <EEEAUGH> How will you make amends, white man?
> <EEEAUGH> Boy. White boy.
> <EEEAUGH> You are no man, clearly
> <EEEAUGH> Otherwise you would admit to your crimes and work to make amends
> <marco_> is a crime to have asked how it goes? i've not stolen the fish
> <EEEAUGH> No, you have stolen fish
> <EEEAUGH> Just as you have stolen everything from us
> <EEEAUGH> You, and all your people
> <marco_> i'm sorry for what happened but it is not my fault
> <EEEAUGH> How can you still avoid responsibility, white boy?
> <marco_> what should i do in your opinion?

You don't have time for this.
> <(You)> Listen
You interject.
> <(You)> When I killed Rob in YAIBQQ he just respawned. I need assistance
> <iou1desktop> >Not preparing for isekai mechanics in an isekai quest
> <Adalwulf> idiot
> <marco_> what is isekai?
> <(You)> Look I get it, just dispatch another agent.
> <Adalwulf> our resources are running thin
> <iou1desktop> If you're not going to deal with rob, then you'll need to do something else
You sigh. You didn't want to have to do this.
> <(You)> What?
> <Adalwulf> >what?
> <(You)> It's a valid question
> <Adalwulf> >It's a valid question
> <Adalwulf> !banhe (You)
> <Dicebot9000> Banned (You) for 20 seconds.
> -!- mode/#SomaIsGay [+b *!*@Rizon-61209EA1.89FH1A6.AYYLMAO.1989HDK] by DiceBot9000

You close the server. God damnit. You quit the irc. Opening the front panel of the isekai generator, you enter the sequence to desekai yourself. You are surprised to find, however, that nothing occurs. Shit! The isekai generator is lagging due to the stress from isekaing you into an isekai. There's only one way out. You need to resekai the quest, and the only way to do that is via its questmaster, the Australian.

You shudder. Even if you attempt to contact him via the iseconnection in the generator, the carrier pigeon won't reach him in the outback for another several days. You, unforunately, don't have several days. If you don't act quickly questing might actually get one or more new players. If you let that happen, there's no telling what the mods will do. You need to get a message to the Australian somehow. You decide to:

>Carve the message on the surface of YAIBQQ. It's his creation and thus the message will enter his mind
>Fuck the message, you can get out of this isekai without the generator... somehow (write-in)
>Just accept the wait. Questing will die on its own lack of merits anyways.

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>>1193384
>>1193389
>>1193394
>>1193399


>just dumping a log of irc

shit quest. Hopefully YAIYAIYAIBQQQQ will turn out better than this one

also
>Fuck the message, you can get out of this isekai without the generator... somehow

enchantment

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>>1193384
>>1193389
>>1193394
>>1193399
It's like some sort of performance art piece.

>>1193399
>Carve the message on the surface of YAIBQQ. It's his creation and thus the message will enter his mind

>>1193399
>Carve the message on the surface of YAIBQQ. It's his creation and thus the message will enter his mind

>>1193399
>Fuck the message, you can get out of this isekai without the generator... somehow (write-in)
Contact him in the #redditgaybears irc channel where ""he"" hangs out

>>1193405
>complaining about how the quest is being run
Nobody asked for your opinion faggot. If you know so much about how to run a quest why don't run your own quest. You're the reason questing is dying. You, and also the fact that the moderators have all had several meetings where they brainstorm ways to destroy questing, then implement those changes on 4chan.

>>1193408
Thanks. It's all my original work.

>>1193399
>Carve the message on the surface of YAIBQQ. It's his creation and thus the message will enter his mind

>>1193424
You should show your therapist, I bet they will be proud.

>>1193399
>Carve the message on the surface of YAIBQQ. It's his creation and thus the message will enter his mind
carve it into dried cum

>>1193405
I'll combine this in with
>>1193408
>>1193411
>>1193433
>>1193502

Writing.

You know what you need to do. Though you're not looking forward to what you'll need to do once you return to the real world, you definitely can't wait in YAIBQQ. You'll need to get a message to the Australian. You've yet to select your isekai cheat item, and you know just what to use to get a message across: enchanting. You request from the generator an artifact that will allow you to replace any strings of reality with ones of your choosing.

Wielding the device, you quickly assemble an elevator. You can clearly remember the enchantment combination that would have allowed you to do that and apply it instinctively. Although Soma, hack as he is, would never let such a thing be made in regular Banished Quest, here in YAIBQQ you're able to do as you please. You ride the elevator up into the sky where you'll be unmolested. You begin placing your message into the threads of reality. This will take some time.

You fly across the continent in your elevator, replacing the regular strings of reality with your message as you go. You notice that the land ends before the horizon. It seems that since Soma literally makes everything up on the spot, the lands off in the distance don't even exist. They're simply a black void much like on the map that gets posted in every thread.

You finish your message somewhere above Marqash, where the enchantress lady was planning on ascending to godhood. It makes you recall the time where you used your natural 1 bot in order to get Mik killed in his magical realm. Soma concocted the maligned trait in response, but was forced to reconcile it with the enchantress doing things that were far more damaging than Mik. It amuses you to consider how Soma would justify what you just did.

You activate your message. Nothing happens. Oh fuck, you forgot that the message won't make sense if you read it from the other side. You should have written it as though from the perspective of the Australian.

As you lament your foolishness the world contorts. You hear a garbled, barbaric scream emanate from the universe around you. It must be the Australian; only someone from the southern hemisphere would be capable of making such a primitive sound. That's right! Australians live upside-down, strapped to the Earth so as not to fall into the sun. The vertical reversal from his perspective must have counteracted the mirror effect. It only took so long for him to react because of Australians' inherent intellectual inferiority.

You check your isekai generator. Exactly as planned: you've reduced the isecontent of this iseisekaikai to the point where the generator can handle a regular deskaition. You activate it. Immediately you return to the real world. The dark influences on your thoughts from the quest vanish.

The """"fond"""" memories of Banished Quest fade. The mission that fell upon you when you opted not to deal with Rob no longer appals you. You need to end BQ. You're going to find Soma and put him out of commission. Though you feared this duty before, now you take a sadistic pleasure in the thought of it. You recall your interactions with the moderators from the past. Their ideals really got through to you. You believe that questing is a plague. It was the cancer that was destroying /tg/: taking up threads on the board that can now be devoted to generals. Text can be NSFW. Smut is evil. Questing is evil. You'll destroy it, and you'll do it for free.

You need Soma to cancel BQ, but he's a dedicated paragon of work ethic. After all, he'd have nver missed a thread and would have posted at a breakneck pace if not for the machinations of the ircabal. To that end you decide to:

>Threaten his sister, the only thing Soma really cares about is his imouto
>Threaten his alcohol, the only thing Irishmen really care about is alcohol
>Get the mods to threaten to ban him. They've only taken less explicit measures in the past, such as the creation of /qst/, but faced with the inability to post on 4chan, Soma will have no choice but to cancel BQ

>>1193536
>Threaten his sister, the only thing Soma really cares about is his imouto
>Threaten his alcohol, the only thing Irishmen really care about is alcohol
Overkill is best kill.

>>1193536
>Threaten his sister, the only thing Soma really cares about is his imouto
My little sister can't be this raped

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I can't believe Banished Quest is actually for real 100% fucking dead.

What strange reality is this.

>>1193536
>Get the mods to threaten to ban him. They've only taken less explicit measures in the past, such as the creation of /qst/, but faced with the inability to post on 4chan, Soma will have no choice but to cancel BQ

>>1193536
Write in: Convince his professors to lower his grades

>>1193549
what? You're not serious.

>>1193536
>Threaten his sister, the only thing Soma really cares about is his imouto
>Threaten his alcohol, the only thing Irishmen really care about is alcohol
Threaten to drown his imouto in his cheap potato alcohol.

Folks, I'm gonna be honest. I don't see myself being able to continue YAIYAIBQQQ.

Read: http://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1spkibc

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>>1193608
It ended exactly when it needed to.

>>1193608
kike

>>1193228
Reported, saged, called the FBI, called (it in to) CIA, tweeted the president, called the cops, shot my dog. Meta circle jerk trash go away.
4chan
Imprisoning me
All that I see
Absolute horror
I cannot leave
I cannot BANE?
Trapped in this GILF
Dusty vag my holding cell

Questing is trash. I miss Brouzouf Quest. Fix my legs. Fix my soul.

>>1193595
DEAD

>>1193608
You dropped your quest to shitpost?

>We Nevers romanced Chrys, ans Nevers will.

>>1208903
Fucking Soma reeeee.

It's not like we all didn't see this coming anyways.

This is it.

This is the end, my only friend, the end.