Board-tan thread Images/archives go here http://shimmie.4chanhouse.org/

>>750468
>ywn have keksandra massage your peepee

-tan threads are dead
RIP tans

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>>750871
It happens.

>>750558
With her bagina or her feet

>>750558
wew lad

don't seks the keks

>>750871
who?

>>750901
the keks is for seks, why wouldnt she, since theres alot of lewds :^)

>>750906
Got link to all the lewds?

>>750910
search s4s on the shimmie

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>>750347
So, /vip/ got a tan now.
Although, they missed out big nose and Reddit gold coin

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>>750965
A proper adjustment

>>750976
>jew
>spending money
wew

>>750965
>not a girl

*SIGHS AUDIBLY*

>>751484
I dunno, the bit near the clover seems to imply boobs

>>751493
top kek, its a reverse trap!

>>751484
it's a shota, he will become keksandra's bf

>>751579
Keksandra has a wife. She would not approve

>>751594
a wife doesn't have that shota dick

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Guys why are board-tans dead

>>752419
I don't think they're dead. At least wait until this year's winter ball to say whether or not they're dead.

>>751484
I'm sick of girls.

>>751555
trips confirm. /vip/-tan is a reverse trap hipster with too much disposable income.

>>753176
>>751555
Why can't it be a guy?

>>753191
It is a guy (female)

>>753176
Is she a tomboy? Nice. Anyone could expect a well dressed, classy girl, but I think this fits her well, as expected of her age.

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Not exactly board-tan related but whatever

>>752419
>>752422
Drawfags have lost interest. They are on their respective board's drawfag thread, so we are alone here.

>>752419
Because 4chan culture is dead. Its been replaced with irony

Guess who's dropping a new chapter of 4Chan University today? This faggot.

Get caught up here: http://pastebin.com/u/leonidislay

I'm getting it finalized now. Should be ready in an hour or so.

>>750965

>/vip/ is only 4 days old
>not anime
>glasses cause cant draw faces
>fedora
>spends money on 4chan gold :)
>subtle /pol/ themes

what a fucking lazy 'tan

>>753554
Why are you repeating yourself?

Also most of those claims were proven wrong

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his appearance so far

>>753551
Previously on 4chan University
You are Sea/mu/s
You've been hanging out with your neighbor Emily and her brother Conrad
You got invited to the Red Dorm for upperclassmen
Keksandra convinced you to play a song

>be Seamus
>just finished an improptu concert at Red Hall
>everyone liked it
>you suppress an urge to play Oh Comely to make them take back their applause
>taking off the guitar, you hand it back to Keksandra
>"I expected something danker, but that was a soft 7."
>glaring intensifies
"Okay Kekthony Sandratano"
>she runs off
>Conrad comes up to you
>"dude that was tits! Nice job. Did you play in a band."
"sort of, but I didn't play guitar. I'm more into appreciating art than creating it."
>"I gotcha. So you see anyone cute?"
>you look around the room
>Emily is still in the corner staring at the medusa
>The sisters are giggling to each other while another girl listens
>a cute girl walks through the door of the common room
>cute sailor-esque dress, curly brown pig tails in her hair.
"Who the hell is that?"
>"that's Ayunami's sister, Chiyo."
"Dibs"
>she could be the groupie you swore you never wanted
>tfw you'll never listen to records while she asks you why you like songs about Anne Frank and incest
>conrad starts to protest but remains silent
>"HEY Huey! Huey! Huey!"
>a shrill voice reaches your ears
>Keksandra is yelling and running around looking for someone
>she grabs your arm
>"There you are Huey!"
>staring

>>753682
>his

Stop assuming their gender you shitlord.

>>753822
>"your new nickname is Huey. Like Huey Lewis and the News! I named you after the best band ever."
>you recoil in horror
>"let's go meet people Huey!"
>groan
>she parades you around the room introducing you to other students
>you stop in front of a tall skinny guy in a greasy shirt and the longest neckbeard you've ever seen
>"Huey, this is Tyler. He runs the DnD campaign for the dorm. He also has a huge collection of toy soldiers."
>Tyler clears his throat
>"Actually, you may call me Teeg. And they're not toy soldiers, they're tabletop miniatures. I specialize in tradi..."
>that's probably what he said
>You're too entranced by the crumbs in his beard
>They float effortlessly in a tangle of matted hair
>like stars in a picture of space
>"And that's why I play Warmachine and not pleb-tier Warhammer. Do you game, Seamus?"
"Uhh, Monopoly?"
>he stares
"Okay, well it was great to meet you. I'll hit you up if I want to play DnD sometime."
>Keksandra moves you to the couch
>"This is Haruhi. She's an art major."
>Keksandra points to a girl in short pleated skirt, thigh-highs, and a tight blouse
>Haruhi shakes your hand
>"I major in the best porn"
"What kind of porn is 'the best porn'?"
>"The best porn is the one that gets you off"
>majestic
>Keksandra points to the two other girls on the couch
>"That's Usagi and Lily. They're super gay."
>"Super duper gay"
>they spoke at the same time
>terrifying

>>753828
>you look around for the cute girl, Chiyo.
>shes up getting a drink
>is she even legal to drink?
>let's go find out
>keksandra grabs your arm
>"You want me to introduce you to Chiyo? She's a freshman too."
"Why are you being so nice to me?"
>"You got dubs. I have to respect the dubs."
>this tiny meme-addicted child could teach you a few things
>but for now, time to talk to a girl
"Lead the way"
>she takes your hand and leads you to the Chiyo
>right as you get next to her, Keksandra taps her on the shoulder
>"Have you met Seamus?"
>she runs off
>bitch
>"Hi Seamus, I'm I'm Chiyo."
>her voice is soft and angelic
"H-hi. Did you c-catch my song?"
>spaghetti is in your pockets
>"You were the one playing? You had just finished when I got here."
"Y-yeah. Keksandra convinced me to play."
>"Who?"
>goddammit
"The small girl running around here, somewhere. It's not important."
>palms soaked
>will Chuck steal your spaghetti for pasta night?
"What kind of music do you like?"
>"Whatever's on the radio, at a comfortable volume
>screams internally

>>753830
>she sees your displeasure and starts giggling
>"Only joking. I like like emo mostly. With a little bit of punk on top."
"My Chemical Romance emo or American Football emo?"
>"American Football is pleb-tier. I like Sunny Day Real Estate."
>more sweating
>more spaghetti
>is your nose bleeding
>shes giggling again
>"I don't suppose you're called a pleb very often Mr. Seamus?"
"I pride myself on having an extra-obnoxious opinion about music."
>"Well maybe you can show me your record collection sometime."
"Only if I can see your art collection."
>"Oh you wouldn't like my art. I'm not very good."
>she blushes and looks down
>now shes the one with spaghetti
>too fucking cute
"I doubt that very much. What do you draw?"
>"Cute things."
"I like cute things, like you."
>she goes red
>you go red
>spaghetti fills the room

www.pastebin.com/u/leonidislay

>>753554
Yea /vip/ is a shit board filled mostly with s4s fags who are trying to be apart of le epic new board culture
Im talking about fags like punky brewster and other name fags like him. Its such a shit board, they had one funny thread that made me consider getting a pass but after lurking i realized its just going to be another s4s and not even the original s4s the current one, which is a shadow of a shadow of its former self.

>>753832
I fucking hate greentext stories, dude. It's writing for people who are too lazy to actually write, and reading for people who don't deserve to read.

>>753841
okay

>>753846
*punches you in the face, knocking out a few of your teeth*

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>>750965
>>753682
Well that sucks, I expected it was going to be some cute grill wearing a black suit and black shaded sunglasses.

>>753835
>board isn't even a week old
>already getting name dropped by lurkers
wew

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>>754304
>>751484
FUCK they changed it to a woman

>>754420
yeah i know, a lot of the ideas i had didn't work well with a guy.

I have some more ideas and they suggested some changes in the thread but I'll do them tomorrow since it's late right now and I'm about to goto bed.

might try a male char if it's requested enough. I have an idea for that but it seemed a bit too richie rich.

>>754420
I complained a bunch outside of /vip/, and with the power of morphogenetic fields I caused a change.

I am the true VIP and I don't even have a pass.

>>753841
I love them. Feels very chan-y.

>>754420
I still think it'd be better as a man.

>>754509
I think you're sexist. "Only a man can be wealthy" - You

This is the kind of thinking that led to Donald Trump.

>>754509
I prefer the woman, and since I'm actually a /vip/per my opinion matters more

>>754526
What?

>>753832
good story so far family

>>754543
I think you're sexist. "Only a man can be wealthy" - You

This is the kind of thinking that led to Donald Trump.

>>755216
maybe not only a man
but statistically women do way worse
>le wage gap
right cause thats a thing, right? xddddddd

>>754420
wew lad

that's cute

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>>754420
Well at least the design of /vip/-tan looks more appealing.

>>754420
She looks like she would ride a horse.

She needs a horse made out of solid gold.

>>755449
What the fuck does this have to do with anything?

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>>750347
>The best girls kiss girls

>>756167
Are you high? Keksandra is at least 3 times cuter

If you disagree be prepared to fight me.

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>>756246
They're both equally qt.

>>755216
How many women would fuck a man that wants to be a "stay at home hustband" and make his wife go get a job to support him huh?

Why do I never hear about that being sexist huh? I would fucking KILL for that deal so I could just sit around and post on 4chan all day, do some around the house chores and shit. That would be a dream come true but the odds of that ever happening to me are like -100%
so fuck you bitch, women have it easy and no right to complain.

>>756261
> Hard working women don't exist.

xD dude. EPIC.

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Does anyone here know any free animation software I can use?

I really want to make a animation of Keksandra.

>>756282
Oh whoops, looks like you quoted the wrong person. For a second there I actually thought you were just an idiot but then I realized nobody could be that dumb.
lol it's an honest mistake don't worry about it.

>>756291
GIMP?

>>756294
I think you're sexist. "Only a man can be wealthy" - You

This is the kind of thinking that led to Donald Trump.

>>756291
Pirate an old copy of flash

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>>756221
Does no one like the /u/ sisters?

Who is the best -tan and why is it /x/

>>756306
>14:44:44
good damn

>>756819
it's [s4s] actually, my good family member

>>756850
I second this notion.

HERE HERE!

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final form of /vip/-tans

it's been decided to have two at same time

a shota boy and a woman

they are /ss/ couple

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>>756892
already made OC of them: >>>/i/482663

and pic related

>>756892
Oh, naturally. All the bigots can't handle the idea of a woman with power.

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>you will live to see 4chan gold accounts be real

>>756959
Hooooh my penis

>>756959
I want vip-tan to buy me

>>756966
I want to become gold digger for vip-tan

>>756959
The gold tooth doesn't look rich, it looks ghetto.

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>>756959
His teeth should be all gold like pic related.

>>756985
they just look like yellow dirty teeth that don't get bruushed

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>>756985
Are you sure

>>756993
Give it some sparkles around the teeth to drive the point that he has gold teeth.

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can we not have so many shotas
none of them will be as cute as /cm/

>>756993
no please, I am scared now

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>>756995
Well

>>756999
I'm not even sure why /vip/ is a child in the first place.

>>757005
Because new board I presume?
Totally not because of the average mental age of the population there :^)

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"Not of hard bitings, okay?"

>>757057
LEWD

I had no idea keksandra was such a slute

>>757057
Ohhhh shiiiiiit
That is good

>>757057
>you'll never be lucky enough to kiss /int/ while you grope her tits

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>u will never be pegged by keksandra

>>757066
Hey, don't say that, she is just having a good time with her wife.

>>756892
I was going to draw something but I can't get it right. From the 3 designs, we have what it appears to be a fifthly rich family, the 3 twisted ruthless sadistic brothers that plot killing each other to heir the site for themselves. We have the older sister which is the boss and plays 12 dimensional cosmic pingpong, the middle sister is the outcast attention whore and the little brother which is the toss around doll, all of them are two faced maniacs that will use anything in their disposal as advantage.

Older sister weakness: nymphomaniac
Middle sister: Her allowance is actually shit due her older sister running the finances, she's in debt most of the time and may do anything to even get a penny, she grew up mostly being ignored due to be being the middle one.
Little brother: He's oblivious to anything that isn't money so he believes anything he hear/reads and it's easily tricked.

The brothers represent the 3 types of posters in order, the oldfags, the tripfags and the newfags. /t. fanfic TL;DR: dude incest lmao

>>757437
>brothers
Siblings.

why is int black

>>758380
int is a proud white argentinian.

just google image search "whitest man in argentina". truly an aryan race.

>>757002
OK, so Do$h king, cash money, loads 'a money.

What's penny bags' story? Personality?

Hell, I still don't have the low down on /his/ and /qst/.

>>758677
Apparently:
>he has gray hair because he was a mature man who got stuck in a shota body after an incident and the only trace left is his hair color
We included the mature man origin story because he represents us, adult /vip/pers who can afford to buy passes
>The shota form he is imprisoned in currently is also a metaphore of the young age of the board /vip/ since it's the youngest amongst other boards and the adult /vip/ers are stuck inside a young board
>He pretend to be rich while he only get caught having 15 to 20 dollars on him at all times.
>He mocks other tans and call them poorfags. But secretly loves them and wants to help them (metaphore of /vip/pers wanting to save 4chan and other 4chan boards from death by supporting the site with money)
>He brags about his clover pin on his chests that only he has and don't miss a chance to show it off
lol

Maybe they mentioned more, This is all I found.

>>758706
>We included the mature man origin story because he represents us, adult /vip/pers who can afford to buy passes
lol messed up my copypasting and greentext at the same time

>>758706
I wonder how much this will have changed within a week.

>>759830
a lot probably, and it's a good thing since some of the ones in there are some stupid shit

>>760516
>some

>>760524
You don't find these following ones to be alright?
>>He pretend to be rich while he only get caught having 15 to 20 dollars on him at all times.
>>He brags about his clover pin on his chests that only he has and don't miss a chance to show it off
>>He mocks other tans and call them poorfags. But secretly loves them and wants to help them (metaphore of /vip/pers wanting to save 4chan and other 4chan boards from death by supporting the site with money even if they bully they bully them)

>>756993
>>757002
He's missing fingers.

Also, bump.

>>760524
Fuck off back to plebbit namefag

>>760533
PERFECT

>>750347
Is it winterball time already?

>>762868
New lore: He sold his fingers to be able to afford a pass. Fits in well with >>760533

someone draw /f/ tan

pls

>>762919
Soon

>>750347
Bump.
Fuck the spammer.

>>763013
I've been on /f/ more and more, now.
It's great.
I don't even mind the reposts.

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Definitely can't let this one die.

/r/ /mu/ and /lit/ fighting since Bob Dylan won the Nobel Literature Prize

4chan University - Chapter 5

>Be Seamus
>you just told Chiyo you thought she was cute
>you're both furiously blushing
>"And here I thought all you musicians were about flowery metaphors"
"I-I like getting t-to the p-point."
>knees weak
>a taller girl in a similar outfit comes up
>"Is this guy bothering you sis?"
>She must be Ayumani
"Hi, you're Ayunami right?"
>"I'm not talking to you, b-baka"
>well then
>"No sis, we're just talking."
>"Well I'm going home."
>"OKAY BYE SIS!"
>Ayunami storms off
>"She means well. She's just a little overbearing"
"Do you want a drink?"
>"That sounds lovely"
>You grab her some punch
>Chuck winks at you
>You give her what should have been yours, just in case
"You want to go sit down?"
>she grabs your hand and leads you to the couches
>"So what's your major?"
"Music. Concentration is musical saw."
>"Musical what?"
"Saw. I'll play for you some time."
>"Lowes or Home Depot?"
"Please. I design all my own insturments."
>"Now I know you're full of shit."
"Sometimes."
>She giggles
>Conrad comes and sits next to you
>seriously bro?

>>764768
"Chiyo, this is Conrad. He lives down the hall from me."
>she waves at him
>"Dude, I'm trying to convince Emily to go talk to that medusa."
>well can you do it somewhere else?
>you turn to Chiyo
"Give me a second."
>You get up and walk over to Emily
"Need help?"
>"What do you mean?"
"You've been staring at that tentacle monster since we got here. Want me to introduce you to her?"
>her eyes glaze over
>you grab her arm and lead her to her
>You tap the monster on her shoulder
>"Yes?"
"My friend Emily wanted to meet you."
>She looks down at Emily
>"My my, aren't you precious. I'm Demona"
>mission accomplished
>you go back to Chiyo
>Conrad is putting his mack on
>"And that's why Superman is actually the worst superhero ever."
"Sorry about that."
>You sit down next to Chiyo and she leans back into you
>you wrap your arm around her
>You make eye contact with Conrad
>"WELL I MUST BE GOING NOW"
>He gets up and wanders over to Brandon and Sarah
>you look down at Chiyo
"He means well."
>"He said you were a good guy. Should I trust him?"
"I sure hope so."
>suddenly the music turns to an acoustic cover of Telephone Line (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DihMwnF3jY)
>You start singing out of habit
"That's what I'd say. I'd tell you everything."
>"If you pick up that telephone"
>Her voice is angelic

>>764772
>you stare into each others eyes
"Wanna dance?"
>your mouth is dry
>you go dizzy as you forget to breathe
>"Absolutely."
You lead her to the dance floor
>Pairs are starting to form
>Usagi/Lilly, Emily/Demona
>You look down at Chiyo
>She looks up at you
>you kiss
>time stops
>"WOO! GET SOME HUEY!"
>god fucking dammit
>The music ends and everyone stares at you two
"What? Has nobody here seen a straight couple?"
>You go back to the couch with Chiyo
"So..."
>"So?"
"I'm just trying to process all this."
>"You don't have a girl back home do you?"
>she looks panicked
"OH! No. Didn't mean to scare you."
>she sighs and lays her head on your shoulder
>this is heaven
>Keksandra comes up to you
>"I'm taking credit for all this."
>You"shurg
"You can be the flower girl at the wedding"
>Conrad comes up
>"Hey, I'm gonna bounce. You good here?"
>you look around
>everyone's starting to leave
"You ready to go Chiyo?"
>she nods
"Okay, let's bounce"
>Chiyo grabs your hand as the three of you walk towards the door
"Where's Emily?"
>Conrad gives you a knowing look

>>764776
"Enough said."
>As you walk home, Chiyo starts singing again
>"All I want to get is. A little bit closer." (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9e9NSMY8QiQ)
"All I wanna know is. Can you come a little closer?"
>she takes off running
>"IT'S NOT JUST ALL PHYSICAL. I'M THE TYPE WHO WON'T GET OH SO CRITICAL"
>you chase
"SO LET'S MAKE THINGS PHYSICAL. I WON'T TREAT YOU LIKE YOU'RE OH SO TYPICAL"
>you catch up to her
"I won't treat you like you're typical"
>you pick her up and spin her around
>she squeals and giggles
>You set her down before your skinny arms give out
"I can get used to this."
>"me too"
>HEY WAIT UP, I DON'T WANNA GET RAPED!"
>Conrad runs up, panting
>you all walk back to the dorm
"What room are you in?"
>"/c/"
>you stop at her room
>Conrad continues walking
>good man
>You look down at your girl
>"I had a really great time tonight."
"Oh is the night already over?"
>"You boys are all the same."
"Can we at least get food tomorrow?"
>"Definitely. Goodnight Seamus."
>She kisses you on the cheek
>you float back to your room
"I love college."

http://pastebin.com/u/LeonidIslay

anti-spam bump