Hey guys. I bought some turkey, cranberry sauce, gravy, and mashed

>>99984942
How many women can you bring with you?

>>99984942
YOU FORGOT THE STUFFING

>>99985279
I am severely lacking in single white women to offer

waht about the vegemite u fukkin cunt

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>>99985438
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THE MOST IMPORTANT PART!

>>99985438
>>99985674
OH SHIT.
That's made out of bread crumbs or something, right?

>>99985477
Your chances are getting slim but you're not out of the race yet. How are your boomerang skills?

>>99986107
you have to mix the turkey guts in with it

>>99986116
I used to play with a plastic one as a kid.
Came back to me probably 50% of the time

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>>99986107

>>99986247
Not bad. How are you with kangaroos? Do they like you or do you have to hunt them down to play with them?

OP you need veggies/greens. Green beans with bacon is perfect.

>>99986228

Don't troll.

He's gonna have the most American meal of his life that isn't McDonald's.

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>>99985438
>>99985674
>>99986107
>Back when I was a kid
>Hate cranberry sauce
>Dislike mashed potatoes
>Only like turkey drumsticks
>Take the bowl of stuffing
>Pour half of it on my plate
>Dump salt on
It was fucking delicious and my mouth waters at the idea of more stuffing tomorrow.

>>99986407
The little ones run, the big ones get ready to box

>>99986287
Fuck that boxed shit. My stomach is already rumbling for homemade sausage stuffing...

>>99986287
NO NO NO. Stovetop is cuck tier.

Real stuffing is American. Stove-top is a liberal SJW fattening agent. This is a major reason why trannies are fat fucks. They ate stove top every other meal, instead of enjoying real stuffing once every few months like a real American.

Don't be a cuck.

YOU BETTER HAVE PUMPKIN AND APPLE PIE TOO, CUNT

YOU ONLY GET ONE SHOT

>>99984942
You also forgot the green bean casserole.

>>99986228
I didn't buy a whole turkey, I bought a brick of turkey meat...
Did I fuck up?

>>99986648
Well that leads right into the next round of questions. How are your boxing/fighting skills? Are you fearful of midgets?

One year my father just went batshit in the kitchen and made three or four different flavors of stuffing at once.

>>99986882
I think I could take 2, maybe 3 midgets in a fight.
Maybe 4 if you replaced the midgets with 6 year olds.

>>99986583
I wasn't trolling. That's how you make stuffing.

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>>99986851
>I bought a brick of turkey meat...

>>99986693
It's his first time and I doubt he's a tranny otherwise we would be seeing pics of a butt that looks possibly female by now.

>>99986851
>brick of turkey meat
Post pic or I don't believe you. If you are telling the truth then the Stovetop stuffing is going to the highlight of your meal.

>>99987073

DUDE.

You use turkey drippings for the GRAVY.

Turkey entails and organ meats get thrown out or fed to dogs.

Organ meat is not my cup of tea.

>>99984942

Also don't forget corn on the cob and dinner rolls.

>>99986851
you're a fucking liar
please

>>99986833
> green bean casserole

Ugh, ignore that anon. You're missing the macaroni & cheese though.

Fuck off we're full

>>99987575
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/22543/old-fashioned-giblet-stuffing/

>>99987064
3 to 4 midgets... nice. What about minjas? They are a highly skilled elite assign force of midget ninjas. Yeah can't do 6 year olds any more. Although rumor has it there will be more available stock soon because of this pizza gate thing.

>>99987865
>giblet-
fucking nasty

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>>99987448
>>99987648
I'M SORRY!

>>99987995
If I'm going to be American can I just buy a gun?

>>99988078
You wont be serving pate with your horderves? Bunch pf plebs in here.

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>>99988227
Turkey is shit anyway, you should've gotten a spiral cut ham.

>>99988227
>Australian""'"""""""""food"'"""""""

>>99988587
What kind of American are you? Hams are for Christmas.

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>>99988227
Meh not too bad man. At least its turkey breast meat and its in a convenient loaf form for more efficient carving. A+ for effort and if you're single why cook a whole turkey? Welcome to America! If we can house a ton of shitty mexicans and Syrians we can certainly make way for someone that is making an effort.

But Thanksgiving was weeks ago!

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>>99988767
Standing rib roasts are for Christmas

>>99988992
Ribs are for BBQing in the summer.

>>99984942
LOL

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>>99986627
>hate cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes
do you even give thanks wtf kys desu

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>>99988992

>>99988403
Now you're gettin it, Aussie! I'd say youre just about ready to be American.

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>>99986851
brick?

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>>99989123
you mean these kind:

>>99988227
that looks like it'll probably be fine, you didn't fuck up bro happy thanksgiving

>>99988807
>>99989463
I'm so happy.
I'll submit my visa application when the holiday is over.

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>>99989441

>>99988845
>A

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Turkey is dry and fucking tasteless, literally nobody uses cranberry for anything, gravy is for retards, and mashed potatoes are your only decent choice.

No you did not.

>>99984942

you also need peas and sugared squash.

also >stuffing

throw some beer sauteed polish sausage chunks in the stuffing. god tier.

and don't forget pie - apple, pumpkin or pecan.

once all of those conditions are met, you may become an American upon purchase and brandishing of a firearm, and declaring that you can say whatever the fuck you want.

then, we welcome you.

>>99989981
>FUCKING

>>99990170
>his turkey is dry
brine it lad

>>99990170
none of what this anon says can be trusted

>no stuffing

Way to ruin something as simple as Thanksgiving dinner, Aussie.

>>99988992
That roast made me aroused, I can just taste that perfectly charred seasoned outside layer..

>>99986627

>Dislike mashed potatoes

give me your America card NOW i'm giving it to OP

>>99990406
>throw some beer sauteed polish sausage chunks in the stuffing. god tier.
So doing that tomorrow. Thanks for the idea!

>>99988227

yeah, that's fine. any turkey is good. long as it's turkey.

>>99988227
almost as bad as canned chicken

>>99990466
I suck ass at making turkey and no matter how many times I baste it or what temp I cook it at it ends up dry and I have to drown it in a hastily made turkey gravy.

>>99991127
brine it
brine for a day straight

>>99990776
I understand the awkward erection a nice piece of beef can create.

>>99990000

>>99990784
This. We make a giant fucking pot of them to have leftovers for the rest of the month. Mashed potatoes, canned corn, and gravy are a reason to not shoot myself every year.

>>99990859

glad to spread the word!

family tradition.

and my family's jewish.

sausage eating jews. think of that when you do it.

>>99990466
>brine it lad
>>99991232
>THIS!!!!!!
this man knows. Brine that shit nigga. And do it with all of your poultry. And if you try duck for God's sake pack it in salt for a few days first.

>>99991127
make ham instead

>>99991501
My grandmother was Jewish and I understand she could really handle a sausage.

>>99986287

>stove top boxed stuffing

get out

>>99991127

get a special made covered turkey pan. cook it REEAL slow at like 250 F for 6 hours.

look up online recipes as well. your elevation will alter cook times.

How to have American Thanksgiving

-Whole Turkey; no half slices or cuck shit like that
-Rolls and butter
-Cranberry Sauce
-Harvest Soup
-Corn
-Pumpkin and Apple Pie
-Green Bean Casoerole
-Stuffing
-Mashed Potatoes and Gravey
-Sanviches

>>99991501
not having it anymore

>>99991843

heh

my grandma loves sausage too. and pepperoni. and salami.

what a coincidence.

>>99991501

Well Abraham fed Yawheh veal and milk.

Kosher laws are sometimes not the way things happen.

>>99991950

there's nothing wrong with that.

>>99992373
REE'EEEEEEEEEEEEEE'EEEEEEEEEE'EEEEE IM A FAT AMERICAN

>>99984942

Does anybody actually like cranberry sauce?

>>99991999

>harvest soup

That sounds dank as fuck how come we never have that at my thanksgiving?

My family is spiritually obese and half of them are actually obese, we never have any vegetables that aren't swimming in cream, it's nasty

>>99992168
kek agreed

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>>99988227
I guess you did well for an aussie

>>99991950
>>stove top boxed stuffing
>get out
He's eating a brick of turkey from a can. Stove top might be the best part of the meal in this instance.

>>99991999

not everyone has the resources to cook and store a whole fucking turkey.

little bits are fine it's the thought that counts.

>>99991999

Where's the ham and cornbread?

>>99992559

It's pretty dece

I wouldn't be all torn up if they forgot it one year but I always have some with my turkey

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>>99986107
This is actually a thing in Newfoundland. It's prepared a similar way to stuffing but in breadcrumb form.
It's usually eaten with chips and gravy and possibly peas.

>>99992168

your loss, friend.

pls kek gives

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>aussie """"""""""cuisine""""""""""

>>99992559
I have tried several recipes using fresh cranberries but I didn't like any of them. The stuff that you have wiggle and shake out of the can is my favorite... put a little on top of the turkey .. damn

>>99992248

i didn't even know Yaweh ate.

>tfw I gave the middle finger to a barmitsvah

>>99992859
poutine?

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>>99991999

shadilay

>>99992859

that actually looks kindof good. better than the 'chip butty' monstrosity.

newfoundland was pretty cool, been there. lots of puffins, sheep and cliffs.

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>>99991127
>>99991952

The weight of the bird will alter cook times far longer than elevation. You need a meat thermometer. You stick it in the thigh (not against the bone), and pull it out the moment it hits 165F if it's stuffed. Unstuffed remove at 160. I personally cover the turkey with aluminum foil for the first 2 hours at least, removing it to allow the skin to brown for the last few hours which helps keep it moist. If it comes out dry after this you're either fucking it up somewhere, or buying the cheapest shit turkeys which are stuffed with a saline brine.

>>99992705
In the slaves' quarters you nigger.

>>99993848
Yeah, and since it doesn't have meat it's usually cheap for the amount of food you get.

I'm pretty proud to be from here, being how we have our own unique culture (at least compared to the rest of Canada) and are 99% white. Very few non-whites can survive that newfie winter.

Also making crab stuffed portabella mushrooms and mussels with white wine.

>>99994998
>portabella
>bella

WTF ?

>>99994998
WTF!

>>99991999
this is a handsome get.

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>>99984942
sure, nock yourself out

>>99994780

Dude slaves were a huge influence on southern cuisine.

>>99994998
>bella

fucking sjw feminist trying to make mushrooms female

>>99988078
God you're a faggot, every part of the turkey serves a purpose, even the heart is best served being minced up in the stuffing.

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>>99991999
the digits!!