Trump is sexy, smart and rich. So called scientists are poor

>>138516092
Plus he can pass the toilet paper roll test

>>138516279

I feel sad for anybody who can't

>>138516092
Oh great. Now Trump has bad optics

President Trump took off his solar eclipse glasses, still looking to the sky, to the shock of everyone watching the event live on TV. "Didn't anyone tell him you can go blind doing that?" one of his aides whispered in disbelief.

At last he could see what he had previously only read about on conspiracy theory GeoCities pages of old: the massive alien space station -- normally invisible to the eye and totally undetectable by any scientific instrument devised by man -- that had been orbiting the Earth since the 1940s. Only under very specific conditions created during a solar eclipse could it be seen by the naked eye.

Which is why, during the height of World War II, President Roosevelt approved a propaganda campaign that warned people of the immense danger caused by looking at the sun without "special protective glasses", which weren't intended to protect our eyes from the sun's rays, but from the truth.

And who could blame him? He knew it would require everything we had to save human civilization from the Axis powers without having Americans worry about extraterrestrial invaders as well. "For now, we must conceal this knowledge from everyone. We'll tell them when the time is right," Roosevelt assured the Cabinet members and military brass that had been gathered to address the discovery. That time never came, and the propaganda had been so successful that even future presidents dared not even glance at a solar eclipse for fear of permanent retina damage.

File: 1496836650226.png (59KB, 658x662px) Image search: [Google]

59KB, 658x662px

>>138516380
>tfw girly features, slim body, and cant even pass this test
why does god hate me?

>>138516627
But Trump couldn't resist, despite knowing how the oblivious sheeple would react. Melania recalled her husband's words before that iconic moment: "So what's the worst that can happen: Fake News calling me an idiot again? Screw it, I wanna see the damn Martians!" Politifact would later determine that statement to be "Mostly False", as the alien lifeforms were actually of Neptunian origin.

Nevertheless, Trump was mocked relentlessly, only later to be vindicated when he revealed the full extent of the alien presence on Earth in his 2018 State of the Union address, along with plans for a "big, beautiful space wall" and accompanying travel ban. "We aren't letting anymore illegal aliens -- and I mean literal aliens -- onto this planet until we figure out what the hell is going on!"

But here in the present, Donald J. Trump was, if only for a brief moment, speechless. He explained, as best he could, the amazing sight to his family standing next to him.

"What are you going to do about it, Dad?" his son Barron asked.

"I don't know yet. I really don't. But they have to go back."

File: gettyimages-836311244 copy.jpg (312KB, 1181x886px) Image search: [Google]

312KB, 1181x886px

Outstanding!

>>138516684
He clearly wants you to become a trap anon.

>>138516092
Unlike what people have been led to believe, solar eclipses don't just automatically end. They have to be ended by the most powerful people on Earth at the time. The moon literally moved away because Trump stared at it, ending the eclipse. The moon knew its place.

Gentlemen, this is how powerful our God-Emperor is.

File: 1498227616392.jpg (80KB, 692x577px) Image search: [Google]

80KB, 692x577px

>>138517058
dicks in my butt is going to hurt, i just know it

>>138517457
Well, you could only date men that don't pass the toilet roll test.

File: 1495429449582.jpg (51KB, 680x813px) Image search: [Google]

51KB, 680x813px

>>138518226
i just checked & my butthole is much smaller than a toilet paper roll, im doomed