>I was 22 years old >I loved Ben Shapiro so much I had

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>I was 22 years old
>I loved Ben Shapiro so much I had all the Ben Shapiro thug life shirts and attended his talks
>I pray to Ben every night thanking him for all I have been given.
>"Ben is love" I say "Ben is life"
>My papa hears me and calls me a good goyim
>I knew he's just jealous of my devotion to Ben Shapiro
>I call him an anti semitic Trumptard alt right single loser who's still in his mother's basement
>He throws his fedora at me and heads to the basement
>I cry as spaghetti falls out of my pockets
>I cuddle my yamaka and it's really cold
>The scent of statistics fills the air
>It's Ben
>I am so happy
>He whispers in my ear "Facts don't care about your feelings"
>He grabs me with his short Jewish hands and puts me on my knees
>I am ready
>I spread my ass for Ben
>it hurts so much but I do it for Ben
>I want to please Ben
>He lets out a mighty roar filling my ass with warm facts
>My dad stumbles back from the basement
>Ben looks at him an says "Distrust of government isn't baseless cynicism. It's realism. Toughen up you spoiled brat snowflakes"
>Ben leaves through the window
>Ben is love. Ben is life