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>tfw don't have the initiative to actually do anything

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>tfw don't have the initiative to actually do anything with my free time other than mindlessly browse the internet or wander around London, hoping a divine intervention causes me to stop thinking my youth was wasted (used to drive around my old city doing the same thing)
>tfw read books and go through programming tutorials but too lazy to go off the beaten path and do anything in the real world (write creatively, actually make something)
>tfw feel guilty 100 % of the time about not learning or doing a million different things a million different ways
>tfw all this time I know kids are getting rich on the internet, normies are having fun in real life
>tfw all advice and advertising feels like propaganda and advertising

When you get right to the core of things, I simply don't have the balls / will / (whatever you want to call it) to follow my own interests and intuitions.
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Actually, I reflected on one of my favorite David Hume quotes and realized something. All I really want out of life is to love and be loved, to be happy. That said, this is the last time I shitpost Donald Trump into the White House. Probably.
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>>136153950
I can relate to this.
I suffer from OCD, fucks me up big time. Stuck in a routine 24/7.
Need to literally count everything I do, always to a multiple of 4.
Got so bad I'd need to count during conversations at one point.
How do I stop this.
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