>graduate >spend 2 years working part time wagecuck jobs

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>graduate
>spend 2 years working part time wagecuck jobs while living at home and wasting all my free time and feeling demoralised
>move to London after getting full time job

>just barely make enough to pay for everything
>job is boring but thankfully light on work and never goes past 9-5
>became the ugly loser loner beta nobody talks to only a few days after starting
>realise I'll never have the social skills needed to succeed among normies

>had zero social life since school, no female attention ever, blackpilled and know women find non Chads disgusting
>see guys younger than me with gfs and feel insanely jealous
>see normies socialising effortlessly (including people who started after me) and feel bitter
>feel under pressure more during my free time than work because I feel like I have to learn maths / learn CS / do practical programming / read lots of books to be smart and successful and have a social life to stop wasting my youth (i.e., I feel bad because there aren't 100 hours in a day)

Well this is demoralising. And this is with a really low work government job. If I actually had to work hard and work a full 8 hours or more then I'd go crazy.

My free time consists of procrastinating over dedicating all my time to some other heirarchy I can feel bad about (i.e., programming).

And you know what really runs it in? The normies who get jobs easily due to normieness and poshness. The thousands of teens on the internet getting rich for wacky reasons (apps, crypto, exporting marmite to Tajikistan) while I stick my nose in to SICP- a nerd too scared to go off the beaten path, cowed by the masses while at its bottom rung.