Listen up fellow JebHeads! Let's reminisce on hero

>posting jebcore
Well it was Sunday Funday
They sold the bowls for the guac
And when the polls all came out
They told me I’d be on top
You say my energy's low
But the tiny turtles tell me I rock

It was my brother and dad
That gave me heartache to run
It was a lie when they smiled
And said ‘you’ll be number one’
And as my campaign crashed
I pretended we were having fun

My base is gone (so gone, so gone)
Somehow I still press on (press on, press on)
Will you support me if I mow your lawn?
Yeah really, I’ll do anything

You're just a billionaire with nothing to say
About a big wall, and how Mexico pays
And how you think that I’m wrong
On immigrants, tariffs and trade


pls go

>I think this was SLOW MOTION by third eye blind
Born into politics
But there's no hope for this son
'Cause nobody voted
Without polls you cannot run
Now he's campaigning in a vacant lot
The one in the summer where we used to make guac
I guess we should expect it
But man, he sure can kek it
His turtle show

Low energy, see me cuckold
Low energy, see me cuckold

>i wrote this the night of the iowa caucus chillin on /pol/
Rolled into Iowa, was feelin' bout half-past dead
Just need to find a poll sayin' I'm ahead
Hey Trump, can you tell me how to find a home for Jeb?
He just smiled and shook my hand, no was all he said

Take a bowl off Jebby
Take a bowl for free
Take a bowl off Jebby
Aaaaannnddd you put the bowl right on me

Picked up my guacabowls and went lookin' for a place to campaign
When I saw Ben Carson and some turtles walking in the rain
Said 'Hey Carson, let's go down town!
He said 'I gotta go, but my friends can stick around

Take a bowl off Jebby
Take a bowl for free
Take a bowl off Jebby
Aaaaannnddd you put the bowl right on me

Marco and the GOP, well they caught me in a slump
They said 'we'll appoint you in if you just go after Trump'
I said 'Wait a minute Marco, I'm the tougher man'.
He said 'That's alright, just distract him whenever you can

Take a bowl off Jebby
Take a bowl for free
Take a bowl off Jebby
Aaaaannnddd you put the bowl right on me

Go down, Chris Christie, there ain't nothin' that you can say
It's just old Rand, and Rand's waiting on the judgment day
Well, Rand, my friend, what about surveillance trucks?
He said, 'Do me a favor, son, get a warrant you fat fuck’

Anyone have that picture of him skipping on stage? Always got a chuckle from that one

>>135290321
>I had to look for this one


“Just one last job- My ass” Jeb muttered under his breath as he clumsily unspooled wire. His silhouette rushed down a line of full length windows, occluding the night glow of New York City outside the tower.

“The whole GOP is going to owe me after this one. Not to mention George, I’ll show him what I’m made of this time.” he spoke to an empty room, voice quivering, then sighed. His was a lifetime of unreciprocated favors.

Nearby, the elevator bell rang and the doors slid open. Jeb pulled the black ski mask over his face and pressed himself against the far wall, immersed in the shadows. A security guard stepped out and casually continued down the hallway, paying him no notice. Once he passed, Jeb pressed his flashlight to the window and blinked a code into the night.

Nothing happened.

“Damn it George. Come on.”

Then, far off, the flood lamps atop the Empire State Building changed from green to a deep blue. Somewhere nearby, a secret service helicopter took off. Jeb took one last look over the crates of explosives, rigged to remote detonate. Everything was in place. He bolted to the elevator.

After a nervous few minutes, he emerged on the tower roof. The helicopter arrived just as he stepped into the night air. Several men in black coveralls ushered him inside.

“Is it set?” one of them said.
“Of course.” Jeb said. “Where is George?”
“He couldn't make it.”
“What? I can't believe him. I’m doing all this for his sake you know.”
“He’s a busy man, Jeb.”
“What could he possibly be doing that's more important?”
There was no reply.
Jeb sighed again. He still got no respect, even after all he did for the family.


Manhattan was disappearing below them as they flew south, to DC. Jeb smiled, nobody could say he was a screw up anymore. He checked his watch. It was just before midnight, September Tenth, 2001 and the countdown had started.

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y-you just had to clap...

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>>135290950