Dear Canadians, You hate America despite your country basically

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Dear Canadians,

You hate America despite your country basically being an economic and political vassal to them, and most Canadians being hicks out in buttfuck nowhere.

You think Tim Hortons is good and is proof of Canada not being America Jr despite it getting its coffee beans from the same/a shittier source than McDonalds for the past 25 years.

You harp on about the burning of the white house but ignore that the US burned an entire city down in retaliation.

You take pride on having literally no national identity, culture or heritage. None. Since the 60s they have been trying to remove the idea of national identity, culture, values.

You cling to hockey and a shitty coffee joint(which btw gets secondhand coffee beans from mcdonalds) as a result and look down on their neighbor for daring to "have such rampant patriotism" and "not be like the rest of the world".

You have no defining characteristics seeping through your heritage that speak to overwhelming probity and strength of character.

You have no history or sense of national pride (because nothing happened and you have nothing to be proud of, you were literally considered subjects of the British crown until the 1980s), so you identify with your shitty hobbies if you went hiking or fishing once in your life.

Instead you take pride in things like being polite and Tim Hortons. How much of a fucking daisy do you have to be to take national pride in being fucking polite?

It fucking kills me that Canadians are so lacking in culture that their national pride and joy is a coffee and donut shop. For christ's sake, their flag is a fucking LEAF

Love,
Anonymous