>Be Australian >Animals screeches wake me up at 5AM >7ft

>>132543846
lol ..(you)
do one about Canada

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How's it in Australia.

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>>132543846
Comfy if you can ignore being surrounded by bimbo bogan socialist drones.

>>132544421
I agree with this. But in the long run we're fucked.

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>>132544031
>Be Canadian
>Wake up next to my hot white wife
>Look outside to my perfect white suburb
>Drive to my well paying job
>Get an injury, treated for free
>Go outside, it's pleasantly cool, animals are friendly
>Everyone's smiling and happy, the few immigrants are waving Canadian flags
>Thank god once again that I don't live in Ontario

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OY MATE

THERES A SPOIDA ON ME DIDGERIDOO

CAN YOU KNOCK IM OFF WITH YE BOOMERANG?

>>132543846
>ohio id
Spooky

>>132544695
>white

>>132544695
not what I expected but still funny.

>>132544421
This. UNSW outside the library. RIP.

>>132543846
If youre a park ranger out in the outback somewhere then yes. That is pretty accurate.

>>132544695
>Be Canadian
>Walk down street and see truck heading towards crowd at high speeds
>Quickly run to the seen as it slams into the crowd and crushes hundreds of people
>Hastily run towards the drivers side window, hearing the cries of dying Canadians
>"Sorry" "SORRY" "SORRY"
>Bash in the window, see Muslim sitting in seat with head mashed into blood gravy
>Breakdown into tears
>Begin shaking his dead body while chanting sorry
>Police sirens wail as their cruisers speed towards the gruesome scene
>The sirens are recordings of the sounds of the Prime Minister having his butthole slammed by thousands of Muslim cocks
>Police get out of cars and pull out weapons
>Immediately start arresting injured Canadians
>Commence firing squad on you for touching and innocent Muslim
>Wake up with face buried in pillow, it must've been a bad dream
>Feel the prickly hairs of an unkempt chest and the soft pubic like bristles of beard hair
>Small, but labored, breathes continuously make your neck hairs stand on end
>Your ass burns and you feel the need to scream, but wait
>It's just Achmed getting his daily fill of Canadian boi pucci before he heads out to get blown to pieces by an American drone
>Struggle to keep from crying tears of joy as you recite the Canadian national anthem
>God-speed Canada, God-speed

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>>132543846
Yeah it is pretty bad here - but the women here are hot and easy to get.

fuck off we are full

>be canadian

ahahhahahahahahahah
the joke is that being canadian is a joke in and of itself

your a joke

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>>132543846
>be australian
>wake up next to your sister
>"ay dahlin fahk moi that was a noice root last noight"
>ride a kangaroo to the shitposting plant
>get stopped by abos
>their faces haven't loaded yet because of high ping
>give them all your petrol anyway
>apologise for invading their country
>say thank you to the traditional owners of the land, the irrawajjialabumbajjiju people
>continue on your way
>shitpost hard on 4chan all day so you can afford to pay your internet bill ($1000 for 0.1bps connection, 3mb data cap)
>go home
>get mugged by abos again
>no petrol this time, give them some of your ping instead
>switch on the tv
>the wallabies lost to new zealand again
>"fahkin no worries m8 she'll be roight I'll just watch the loigue instead"
>the kangaroos lost to new zealand again
>"m-muh cricket"
>http://www.3news.co.nz/sport/video-highlights-australia-bowled-out-for-60-england-dominate-day-one-2015080706
>"m-muh afl"
>can't see what's happening, players' mullets blocking the camera
>go to new zealand, steal some pavlova and claim it was yours all along
>cry yourself to sleep muttering "m-muh hdi, m-muh gdp per capita"
>get bitten by spoidah
>die within seconds

>>132547223
Fake news

You can't give abos ping you don't have

>>132547000
But are we any better though? Our government's shit. The next one elected will also be shit. Our companies are greedy shits. Our unions are shit. Everything is getting wayyyy tooo fucking expensive even for someone with a stable job. Property prices through the roof. Chinks and arabs everywhere. Shit taxing system. Shit policing. Extreme nanny state. Like.......what is so much better here?

So you've been there I see.

> Be me hiking around N. Queensland (Cairns) bush
> Get to Youth Hostel and see large poster asking if I can identify the 12 most deadly snakes in Australia
> Nope.
> Read 10 of them are in the area I had been hiking in.
> Walk to beach from city center in Townsville
> See 5ft fucking lizard in someones driveway
> Can't swim in ocean due to box jellyfish
> Temps 115 F
> Hitchhiking 20 miles from the ocean,see road sign saying stay out of ditch when full of water
> Because sharks
> Every word is true, I shit you not.

>>132544695
more like
>Be Canadian
>Wake up next to my Filipino wife
>Look outside to my perfect sexually liberated suburb
>Go outside, eyeballs freeze over, a moose tramples me
>Got fired from my well paying job, management said I trained Pajeet well enough for him to take my position.
>had to be revived twice waiting in line at the hospital
>Everyone's shivering and drinking hot maple syrup, the immigrants are planting Chinese flags in the dirt
>Thank god once again that I don't live in Alberta

>>132546645
We're supposed to be doing Canada, not Europe.

>>132546645
That's europe m8. America has worse muslim problems then canada

>>132543846
>My ground harness

what?

>>132546645
More muslims were killed by that mosque shooter than people killed by muslims. In Canada...ever.

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>Be Australian
>Take abbo's land
>They call upon great emu god to humiliate us for all time

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australian_Aboriginal_astronomy

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>>132549002
>America has worse muslim problems then canada

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>>132549192
Tally up the muslim attacks on both our countries M8

>>132543846
wtf are miles

>>132549301
tally up the instances of your women sucking refugee cock, leaf

>>132543846
Back to funnyjunk loser.

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>>132549405
If I did we'd still win mr 52%

>Be French
>Wake up next to Abdelkader, who is next to my wife
>Get out of my commieblock appartment while taking care not waking up my wife and her refugee boyfriend
>Take the metro to go to work
>Be the only Caucaian in the entire Paris underground network
>Can't hold back my tears of joy witnessing this empowering multiculturalism
>Suddendly a peaceful muslim yells Allahu Akbar
>Explosion
>Literally cum in my pants as I am lucky enough to be taken to Allah by one of His holy warriors

>>132546645
be Americuck
>have dick mutilated at birth even though not a semite
>injected with poison because the rapeugees that were 100,000 brought in last week by (((Trump))) have diseases.
>jews / banks / military industrial complex need more profits
>false flag or have their puppets spontaneously combust
>muh patriotism / freedom meme
>leave white wife / kids behind when needed most
>kill random enemies of zog and live on edge every second.
>shit happens .jpg
>end up in VA with Vasquez-Lopez or Naquisha as caregiver
>finally go home with a carbon fiber arm and aluminum leg
>check mail, *VA Notice "we regret to inform you that we cannot cover your expenses".
>muh (((Trump)))
>increase aid to israel by hundreds of millions 1 month in .. no wall, no VA because "muh democrats"
>(((Bank))) of Americuck *Notice "you're house has been foreclosed on"
>turn on muh (((fox))) news or (((savage nation)))
>muh north korea / iran
>jews / banks / military industrial complex need more profits
>"dad, I want to fight for muh country and freedom and shit"
>"sure son, the jews are our greatest ally"
>shit happens.png
>polyester flag made in China draped over casket arrives with another dead white boy
>tears, empty praises and more polyester / brass rewards
>Election 2020
>(((dems))) vs (((repubs)))

>>132549941
hey that is a good one. The polyester flag made in china was a nice touch

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>>132543846
No bully plox.

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>>132549941
reminds me of this one

>>132544695
>be Canadian
>forget to smile at black man
>arrested for hate crime
>trial by social justice tribunal, all pink haired feminazis
>nationally televised
>public is permitted to throw garbage and human waste at you during trial
>sentenced to public stoning after apologizing to all negros for the crime of being white

>>132550194
it took me a bit to see all the bullshit but there's no going back once you've seen the games, manipulation and (((subversion))).

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>>132548141
Wow, they have ditch sharks.

>>132543846
kek
well played leaf
no day of the rake today

>>132549701
Bing says 76%

>>132551906
Yeah after floods sharks can travel far. I knew a bloke who lost a dog to a shark that went swimming in a river that was 50kms inland.

All the more reason to not come here.

>Full