>be me >be jew >going to get my morning bagels >haggle

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>be me
>be jew
>going to get my morning bagels
>haggle the shop owner to 0.07 shekels
>start walking to the news studio
>see a guy with his wallet out
>take it from him
>when he tries to get it back I call him antisemitic
>get away scott free
>get to the news station
>run a story about how the jews are oppressed
>go home
>on the way see a penny on the sidewalk
>start breaking down at the thought of someone leaving money behind
>I go into a rage and stab 16 people
>go to court
>call my lawyer Mr Goldstein
>win because my lawyer is Jewish
>go to his bar mitzvah
>eat all the bagels
>we get into a jew fight
>he throws dreidels at me
>I smack him over the head with my golden menorah
>jew takes me to court
>judge sees a jew vs jew case
>court impoads
>end of the world
>mfw I still have that penny