>be German >join Nazi party >get sent to Europe to wage

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>be German
>join Nazi party
>get sent to Europe to wage war and conqueror
>running next to a tank like a bad ass
>my buddy Fritz get hit by an arrow in the chest
>do a double take
>here comes some limey charging at me with a bow slung on his back drawing a sword
>shoot sword out of this moron’s hand
>that was close I almost got run in with a sword
>what the fuck is he doing? Is that
>that fucker picked up some bag pipes and started playing a song…
>Gottverdammt, he’s mocking me
>throw grenade at him
>he doesn’t seem to see it because he’s playing some screeching “music”
>it somehow doesn’t kill this faggot
>walk over to his unconscious body
>uniform says “Churchhill”
>Hölle ja das wird mir eine Empfehlung verdienen
>Superiors find out this asshole isn’t *THE* Churchill
>not even related to the real one
>they put him in a concentration camp
>I get demoted to guard
>This asshole escapes through a drain while I’m on duty
>They move him to another camp in Austria
>Get demoted further
>Why couldn’t I have been the first German to die of being impaled on a sword in a war since the Crusades