Thread replies: 2
Thread images: 1
Thread images: 1
Let's take a moment to remember an early proponent of Physical Removal: Vlad Dracula, the Pinochet of his time.
Born in 1428 (kek) into a time of corruption, instability & lack of helicopters, his early years were spent as a hostage of the Ottoman Kebabs as collateral to ensure peace with Wallachia. Not long after his father the King was assassinated in a coup d'etat. Vlad tricked the Kebabs into helping him retake the throne but this was short-lived. He spent the next 8 years plotting physical removal. Finally he retook Wallachia and physically removed the scheming usurpers, avenging his father & older brother. Lacking helicopters, he made them into Kebabs using sharp sticks. His reign that followed was one of physical removal the likes of which the world had never seen and still triggers snowflakes to this day. He had the schemers, revolutionaries, parasites and criminals Kebab'd using entire forests of sticks. He used them as expendable labor to construct his totally badass Vampire Fortress on top of a mountain, with naked workers slipping off the edge while working through stormy nights. The few surviving workers upon completion of the castle were Kebab'd. What followed was a massive increase in security & economic productivity (like Pinochet did with Chile).
(continued below)
>>
>>130205592
Vlad refused to pay tribute to the Ottoman Kebabs, killing a tribute collection party by nailing their turbans to their heads & sending the corpses back to the Sultan. He defended all of Europe from the Kebabs by boldly attacking the Ottomans first, drawing them into Wallachia & using scorched earth tactics against a much bigger army. His greatest feat of physical removal came as the "Forest of the Impaled" where he Kebab'd 20 thousand Kebabs, turning them into Kebab Kebabs, in a single day, outside Wallachia's capital. This struck terror so deep into the hearts of the Kebabs that they gave up on invading and ran crying back to their mommies. ISIS has nothing on Dracula. For his efforts he is remembered as a national hero in Romania and his statues line the beautiful Transylvanian slopes. His life & legacy were so extraordinary that he grew into a larger-than-life figure, transforming into the Dracula we know today. He still lurks in the shadows and haunts the nightmares of those deserving physical removal to this day, centuries later.
HAIL THE COUNT, REMOVER OF CORRUPTION, KEBABBER OF KEBABS
MAY HE LIVE ETERNALLY WITH HIS PALE BRIDES UNDER THE WANING MOONLIGHT
MAY THE SUN NEVER RISE & THE THIRST REIGN ETERNAL
Thread posts: 2
Thread images: 1
Thread images: 1