what is prison really like? i'm going to be sent there for

>>129968157
What did you do?

Are you in minimum security (with whites) or maximum security (with nigs)? It makes a yuge difference.

>>129968157
what did you do?

and what is a long time?

enjoy your ruined life, anon.

>>129968231
it's a long story but basically it was a joke that went wrong

>>129968288
it'll be maximum security

>>129968157
Its different for people who have committed different crimes. What did you do?

>>129968157
It's just like here. You'll do fine.

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>>129968467

>>129968157

Story time, anon.

>>129968157
>Joke that went too far
>Maximum Security

You the guy who shot that Senator?

>>129968157
Do you like anal sex? I hope you do...

>>129968959
Why do you even try to hide Canada?

>>129968467

Just tell us why senpai

>>129968157
If you are not in custody right now then get off of your fucking ass, get the nearest plane ticket to Paris, and join the Legion you pussy. That's my plan if I ever get in deep fucking shit.

>>129969095
Eat a dick, like op will.

>>129968682
>>129968790
I was at a house party with a friend, celebrating the end of our second year of medical school and we got super drunk and decided to drive to taco bell. anyways, my friend was driving my car since I was too drunk to drive and we were just trying to sober up in a parking lot and in the distance we saw this one professor we both despise and I jokingly threatened to kill him once over facebook but I wasn't serious, so my friend said we should scare him a little and drive towards him and see how he reacts. anyways, my friend loses control and goes full speed into the professor and it cripples him. I pass out and my friend flees and by the time I wake up i'm in the hospital with my hands cuffed to the bed. i'm awaiting trial but I think I might be able to get off since I didn't really do anything

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>>129968157
If its maximum then dont bitch up or your gonna have a bad time.

>>129969181
>implying an amerifat can join just like that
there are fitness exams you know

>>129968157
What state?
And state prison or federal?

>>129969095
My goal is to be the last leaf poster here. The rest are in hiding.

>>129968157
You will be bullied by guards and raped by other inmates depending on the jail and or your country.Try to be friendly with the biggest gang there even if you hate nigs/spics/whoever runs the joint.

>>129969345
this fucking story again
stop posting this over and over again you disgusting nigger, at least make up something else you filthy larper

>>129969445
Love u senpai!

>>129969345

Bitch there will be CCTV at the taco bell of you being in the passenger seat. You were in the passenger seat right

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>>129969345
Lol wat

>>129969563
no, it was a parking lot off campus

>>129969345
Then state prison, what state

>>129968157
You know what you did

Expect a broken system

>>129969357 (^ does this flag trigger you?

Shut the fuck up, Polski. They said Paris, not Poorland of car theft.

>>129969357
>Polock
>You're welcome for liberating you in WW2
>Suck my long and hard star spangled cock

>>129969345

Lmao you've made this thread like 4 times.

>>129969345
Get an expensive Jew lawyer and you'll be fine.

>>129969563
It's a bullshit story.
>Fucking Pakistani

Prison sucks because you are literally told what to do at all times of your stay. If it's a max you can stay in your cell. They don't shower in huge groups like you see in the movies if you're in a max. You go one at a time so you don't have to worry about taking a dick in the shower. Make sure you do your time and mind your business and never owe anybody anything. If you have a skill like being able to draw or something you can sell your work to fellow inmates. You can do commission work during holidays and for birthdays.

>t. Prison guard

>>129968157
t. Eric Clanton

>>129968157
I did 3 years anon. Just depends on where they send you and what level they classify you as which will determine where they send you...

>>129969345


I got news for you, anon......
Prepare that bootyhole.

>>129969745
I guess they want you draw porn or something?

>>129969745
How often do you rape the inmates? Daily or weekly?

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>>129969686
>liberating you in WW2
wrong side of the berlin wall dude

>>129969445
let's procreate bb

>>129968467
>it was a joke that went wrong
>maximum security
...kek?

>>129968467
Story time

>>129970024
Forgive the burgers ignorance. He's an expert at African literature. History is not his field.

>>129970024

Tell you HWAT

Tits or GTFO

All Polish men are ugly, all polish women are sexy.
Poorland 101

No i'm dead serious, want some Aryan big dick, message me.

Learn how to host Dungeons and Dragons. Be a god-tier Dungeon Master.

I heard they use a deck of 20 cards for dice rolls.

>>129969955
They can have porn. So they don't need to draw it. Although some guys do draw that type of stuff I assume to send back to a female friend. They also have phone sex and try to jerk off while on the phone

>>129968157
Shitty larp. If you really are going to max, just kill yourself now. If you're not, kys anyway

>>129968157
max = fight or get raped
then solitary, then xfer
then fight or get raped
then solitary, then xfer
rinse and repeat until out

but the upside is you will learn spanish
because everybody speaks spanish
well not everybody, blacks dont
but there will be alot of hispanics
and you will just learn spanish

>>129969745

>never owe anybody anything.

Probably the most important piece of advice anyone going into the system could learn.

>>129969445
leaf meme is dying off now that most went into hiding as fag flags and pirates

>>129970695
Shut your leaf mouth!

>>129969345
But you didn't drive into him, your friend did

>>129970284
You can make dice out of paper and soap

>>129969357

>auschwitz cosplayer thinking they are more fit to do anything than amerilards

i got bad news for you

>>129970592
what is an 'xfer'?
google says transfer but what does that mean in this context?

>>129968157
Well its good that you're scared shitless

That means there's nothing in the way of the ~12 dicks that will penetrate your rectum faster than you can drop the soap

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>>129969686
FUCKING LUL

>>129970836
Transfer

>>129970647
Yes it is. And don't gamble and don't get into other peoples business

>>129968467
are you the dude who pretended to run over your teacher and actually ended up doing it by accident?

>>129970904
Rectum? Nearly killed 'em!

I've been to minimum security and was on a half decent range with enough white folks so I was safe. Dont be a dick to the guards or else they'll send you to a dangerous all black range on purpose and then you have to check into PC but thats gay as fuck.

>>129970836

It means transfer out of solitary back into regular time with all your pals.

What he's saying is that, you stay with the buds, you beat their ass so they don't rape yours, then get in solitary for a few weeks, get out, beat their ass, solitary, get out, rinse and repeat.

Anyway, you didn't answer my question.

How does 8 inch Celtic-Dutch cock sound? Pure Euro.

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>>129970248
>murrican pablo mudslime
>aryan

>>129970992

yes

he keeps making this thread

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>>129968157
I saw this 6 months ago, does this mean I'm officially not a Summerfag

>>129968157
Check out the After Prison Show YouTube channel

>>129970792
i was starting to miss that, sharia-land

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>>129970912
its you again.

>>129968157

So basically I was at a house party with a friend, celebrating the end of our second year of medical school and we got super drunk and decided to drive to taco bell. anyways, my friend was driving my car since I was too drunk to drive and we were just trying to sober up in a parking lot and in the distance we saw this one professor we both despise and I jokingly threatened to kill him once over facebook but I wasn't serious, so my friend said we should scare him a little and drive towards him and see how he reacts. anyways, my friend loses control and goes full speed into the professor and it cripples him. I pass out and my friend flees and by the time I wake up i'm in the hospital with my hands cuffed to the bed. i'm awaiting trial but I think I might be able to get off since I didn't really do anything

>>129971267
I'm here for you brother.

Remember to as some have said:
1.ALWAYS respect the guards
2.Do not drop the soap
3.Try to stay fit/get bigger
4.Mind your own business
5.Don't ask for favors or gamble
6.Do not smuggle shit in or act suspicious

If you have an alcohol or smoking problem you can take the opportunity to kick it

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alright i got time..

it aint that bad bruh. depends on where you at and if you get money on the books. if you got family that has a little money it helps a lot when you down. I had money stashed after I got hit up and i trusted my girls mom to call it in, she took some "for the baby" but she did me good for 8 years. you get out on OR? pay a bond? how come you aint in co right now?
bruh if you out now you should just start flipping some real fast, you going to prison anyway fuck it, come up on some money and give it to somebody you trust like senpai to put it on the books every other month it aint like you can do it yourself and that 150 go fast bruh. everything cost inside.
the food is easy, either you got money or you dont. prison food is weak, sometimes you get something special like when they get donated shit for holidays or a some factories freezer go out but they always fuck it up and make it taste like some retirement home charly brown kinda food, bland as fuck. the food you can make in the cell is tolerable at best but you can make it spicy at least. I pieced money up every month with my celly cuz we was the same set and we was cool. no homo. some fools get robbed so be careful. you can get wrapped up quick inside even when you didnt do nothing so dont go telling fools you got money. if you poor then fuck it you dont have a choice anyway just make the best of it, you can always trade up food just make sure you know what they are saying when you trade up.

(pic) tapatio packs bruh, my life saver locked up. put that shit on everything.

>>129971309

ANSWER ME SENPAI

>>129971491
What fucking language is this you disgusting criminal?

>>129968467
It was just a prank bro!

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>>129971545
Hahaha no Slav pussy for you.

>>129971737

Nope, trading nudes with some other Polack on steam.

That's how alpha I am. Managed to make some girl on fucking STEAM give nudes to me.

>>129971853
Have you seen her penis yet my alpha brother? How big is her gut?

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>>129971853
Nice bru.
I like to tell em I have a fetish for impregnating them.

>>129972050

Thin where it needs to be, thicc where it should be.

No penis, this isn't Sweden or the UK...I don't think there has been a transgender in the history of a Slavic nation, my brother.

>>129970992
the absolute madman

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>>129968157
save yourself some time and just neck yourself now.
you will do it inside anyway.

>>129972085

Poles don't like having children. Their child rates are just as shit as the other west euro nations.

>>129968157
ok punch a nigger as soon as you get in so nobody fucks with you this will also signal to the neo nazis and whites that you're with them. you'll need them for protection. they might ask you to shank someone for them but just do it and dump the blade in some other niggers cell. never take a shower alone. do your time and keep your head down but don't be a bitch

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>>129968157
In prison thye still segregate racially

Video is what its like when they let the blacks out to eat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwAOHVBKTwg


IM never going back, I will never go back.

>>129969181
How do you join "the legion?"

>>129971491
listen to him.

stay a neutron, don't click up for any reason. carbs will be your main diet, stock up when people don't want their breads or cakes.

you will be there for a while, i don't suggest to gamble but a pack of soup won't hurt if there is a ticket entry football season. drugs will be there, just 20x more pricey, stay away.

everybody runs on principal, then money, money runs it all. if you borrow a packet of ketchup and say you'll give one back or two back in on tuesday, you bring that shit on tuesday. there are no excuses.

there will be people who dump out their lockers when they leave, so keep note of that.

you will probably have to do a job, so use that to your advantage. get to know people in laundry, fresh pressed clothes go a long way when you are limited on uniforms. you can never have too much.

books are big, for a good reason.

you are literally about to go to a ghetto college but you can take the iron pill minus the diet. there are smart people in prison doing time because they took the wrong route.

don't let anybody see what you hold in your locker or see what you come out with in your sack when you get food from commons.

people will try you over little shit, don't pick fights but there might be a time when you have to say something, push comes to shove, swing. swing first.

best of luck...take what you can from this

>>129972154
Oh, like an actual polack, not a /pol/ack. Got confused cuz why would a pole have a Nazi flag? Are her Slavic eyes crossed? Share with your friends.

>>129972652

I'm not Polish. I said in my other thread I'm Celtic-Dutch.

Slavic eyes crossed? Maybe...Speaks 2 languages so should be smarter than me since I can't even mimic the tongue of those frog eating French fags.

What's the difference between a polack and /pol/lack?

"Share with your friends"
No.

>>129972829
I speak 4, it's not like I'm some ignorant American. I figured that if you were going to brag you were going to brag. Sorry friend.

Get some actual advice from prison consultancy businesses. Yes, they do exist.

https://www.youtube.com/user/FreshOutSeries

This channel is presented by a massive groid, but he unironically offers excellent advice. Real life stories and actual experience.

>>129973101
WHAT??
Brag about what

At least I comitted hate crimes, right? Have you ever bullied a Muslim?? Beat em up to show em who's the big dog in the country?

>>129970284
Do they really play D&D in prison?

>>129973334

or just listen to this nigga
>>129972565

and this guy
>>129969745

>>129969345
Pasta

>>129973334
Looks at his "Prison Talk" series. Especially if you're American. Listen to them ALL. He offers genuine advice. Also, research your prison.

>>129969941
I just woke up my dog keying so hard.

>>129973461
Guarunteed someone will be playing it in there. They have nothing to do, and if you memorize all of the shit you can host it with improvised materials

watch a bunch of prison docs on youtube

the Theroux documentaries are good, some of the Russian documentaries are good, I just saw a documentary about some French guys in Japanese prison that was interesting

>>129973341
Oh, I've bullied some Muslims. I just prefer to do it in their country rather than mine You were bragging about getting nudes on steam my man.

>>129968157
>what's prison like
>doesn't use country flag

Well that really fucking helps us answer the question doesn't it? Geographic flags need to be mandatory again.

>>129973732

Well not so much bragging, just acknowleding the fact.

Muslims invade your country, bully em good in yours.

And why did you have a EURO flag if you're an American?

>>129973698
From what I know foreigners are more leniently treated, but they do still belong to a race clique.

>>129969514
Seconding that I've seen this before. Fuck off, faggot.

>>129968157
Don't drop the soap faggot

Is ths you op
http://www.masslive.com/news/index.ssf/2016/10/springfield_man_who_went_to_ta.html

>>129973858
Muslims don't invade my country. I identify as a European with the constitutional right to free speech>>129973858
, thus the flag. Nigger.

>>129969445
Lurk moar

>>129968157
Seriously it just depends where you are at. The most important thing is to not let anyone know anything about you.
1.Every person who cares about you is a potential cash cow. If they know your parents own a house, you paid for school, you had an expensive lawyer, they may try to get your loved ones to pay insurance to keep you safe.
2. Don't be a bitch. If you think caving into demands will somehow keep you safe they won't. As soon as you become a commodity, there are ways for them to make sure you never get out. Forcing you to shank someone, rat someone out, make hooch in your cell, what ever.
You will be tested early. Keep you mouth shut, and figure out who is cool and who is not cool. Try to stick to your own race.

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>>129971491
>no homo

>>129974132

My country is more white than yours, Spic.

>>129974196
And yet I could yell spic nigger kike at the top of my lungs in the centre of my town without fear of arrest.

>>129974161
In many places in the US, especially state prisons, they will expect paperwork to make sure you aren't s snitch. So he'll have to expect that.

>>129974393

So could I.

Muslim hate crimes are on the rise, most people despise them. Even the idiots that have no idea where Europe is on a map hate em because they are freaks that don't drink beer or eat bacon.

>>129968157
>help? i'm scared shitless
make white friends quick and dont be scared to hit a nigga

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>>129974196
Not for long goyyyyy

>>129974544
Cheers brother. I wish you no ill will. I really hope Europe wakes up and throws off the shackles of communism. This flags for you.
>Good luck with the steam chick.

>>129974664

I'm not a German, either.
If I was, I'd be the first German to actually launch a terror attack against the "refugees"

Notice how those fags have done jackshit about it since they got in.

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>>129968157
When you get in there, look around for a bit. Just keep a pissed off look on your face, don't play eye games with others.
Pay attention for a day, see who the threats are, some kind of pecking order, size, and capability. You have to figure it our within a day. Find the biggest baddest motherfucker in the place, walk up to him, last couple steps pick up speed, and cheap shot that fucker the best you can. Fight like you never fought before, until its over. Guards should break it up.

You might get your ass kicked, you might win. It won't last long, guards will break it up. Work it out with dude after you get out of the hole, tell him you thought he was someone else.

No one will fuck with you after that but you still need to get a shank ASAP. Don't be a bitch, sometimes you gotta cut a mother fucker up in there. Someone tries to rape you, you fucking kill that motherfucker, fight for your life, don't give up your asshole to anyone, ever. DON'T BE A BITCH!

Read a lot, exercise, eat as much as you can and turn it to muscle. Meditate, find you God. If you can meditate well, you can transcend time, have out of body experiences and get out of that cage your physical body is in. That prison of niggers that are always trying to take your asshole.
Good luck anon.

>>129974783

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

All the way in Poland, only a matter of time before some Polski snatches her up himself, I guess. Not that it matters, plenty of pure whites in here I can feast on.

>>129974852
>Find the biggest baddest motherfucker in the place, walk up to him, last couple steps pick up speed, and cheap shot that fucker the best you can.

Don't do this. If he's a shot-caller you're dead. If he's not his friends will shank you.

>>129974852
>autism, the post

>>129968157
just run retard. don't contact anyone in your past and you'll be fine.

>>129974852
No you go up to the biggest baddest dude, look him straight in the eyes .....Then drop to your knees and say " you my daddy "

>>129973101
I speak 12 computer languages

>>129974852
this is the dumbest shit.

>>129975665
I speak voorta. So there.

>>129968157
1 Don't eat the Nutty Buddy bar <-----(IMPORTANT)
2. You are going to a place where the vast majority of the population are black males. That means don't tell them you are a white nationalist.
3.Don't take anything from anybody. That means don't be a sucker and accept "gifts" from other inmates (TV, books, candy). They are trying to make you owe them.
4.If you ignored #1 and some dude comes to you and asks where his nutty buddy bar went, beat the shit out of him.

>>129971133
Your digits say you are good where you are. Carry on.

>>129968157
Join a White supremacist gang as soon as you can also attack the smallest person you see of a different race.

>>129976198
Suppose you are trying to get laid in prison. Any tips?

>>129976198
what if he isn't a white nationalist?

Cheer up. You're finally going to get laid.

>>129968157
It's gonna be real bad (for you) Eric.

>>129969345
Kek. You should totally watch Oz mate. You're a classic Beecher.

>>129969445
red five standing by.

>>129968467

sup count dankula

>implying you'll actually get charged with anything

>>129969345
Watch Oz

emulate Adebisi

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>>129976725

ban assault nazi pugs now

>>129976198
what the fuck is a nuddy buddy bar?
>t. never been to jail

>>129976424
then he deserves to get raped

>>129976388
You are obviously stupid if you're not a white nationalist, so the niggers are going to get in to you somehow and you WILL be raped. Violently most likely.

>>129977202
Ooohhh, can you get a bit more detailed? Do you have any prison stories? I think my favorite part would be the big shower room. I might steal a nutty butty tomorrow and see if I can get myself the slammer over the weekend!

>>129969345
You LARPing faggot troll FBI nigger.

>>129969745
do prisoners like fur-shit?

>>129969345
link or you're a retarded faggot

First day there find the white power gang and join up for protection.

You might have to shank a non-white though to prove yourself, so be prepared.

>>129977583

Senpai, read my above posts.

tl:dr 8 inch dick with your name on it.

>>129972274
that's false the legion wont accept u. they would extradite u back to the states and slap a fleeing charge on you. Legion background checks are like fbi background checks. they leave no stone unturned.

>>129968157
If you are NOT a white supremacist, you'd better become one, or hang out with them. If there are Aryan nation members there you should do your best to befriend them.
It's the only law the monkeys respect. Life on the outside is not the same as life on the inside.

>>129971853
>bragging about being alpha on 4chan
>thinks he's alpha
You're just autistic anon

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>>129968157
well friend you have come to the right place.
I was in CYA for 2 years in my degenerate youth. first thing I must ask is what race are you?Are you going to State of Federal Prison? you don't have to be specific but generally what is your conviction? (property, drug, violence etc) If its state prison what state do you reside in? pretty much as long as you aren't a pedophile (if you are I hope you get what you deserve you sick faggot.) you stick with your race, you don't make waves, or friends. you'll be okay. biggest mistake I ever made was thinking oh ill just be nice to people and they'll be nice back no worries. WRONG you are going to one of the most rediculous places on earth where you will be surrounded in EXTREMELY close quarters with some of the DUMBEST, SMELLIEST, NIGNOGS TO WALK THE PLANET. any way good luck anon (again unless your a pedo)

>>129978133

You aren't alpha until you break a Hodgie's nose.

Did I? Oh yes I did :D

>>129968915
Gee that was me
You know us democrat though, we if it's someone we don't like, but call republicans evil

>>129968157
Really really really boring. Like painfully boring. I did three months for misdemeanor assault (bar fight) and after the first two weeks I was about ready to kill myself out of sheer boredom.

You can't be forced to participate in programs or work details unless its an explicit part of your sentence, but if you don't your essentially going to be spending 12+ hours a day in your cell staring at a wall. So take any opportunity to do shit, whether it's work details, volunteering for highway cleanup, therapy groups, religious services, fucking anything they offer, even if you don't like it or don't need it, get involved or you will go completely fucking insane with boredom.

By the end of my first month I was working 8 hours a day in the laundry, working out in the yard an hour a day, I was sitting in on anger management, AA, grief counseling, religious services, anything to eat up a couple more hours in the week.

>>129978205
So if I want to have hot sweaty prison sex, what's the best way to make that happen? Any personal stories?

>>129968157
I used to fuck guys like you in prison all the time

>>129977871

FBI NIGGER! ON YOUR KNEES AND SUCK MY ANACONDA.

>>129971853
You play vidya games? Wow so motherfucking alpha

>>129977017
I meant to type nutty buddy bar. You know, those chocolate/peanut butter wafer bars.

Prisoners test new inmates by placing candy bars on the beds of new inmates. (When you get sent to prison you don't go directly there, you get sent to holding first where you live off of pretty much oats and water.) Then they send in a mid level bruiser who asks where "his" nutty buddy bar went. Most new inmates will make the mistake of eating the bar. The situation then proceeds depending on what happened. The best course of action I've been told is to just beat the fuckers ass with the pad-lock and rag they give you when you get to prison.

>>129968157
>i'm going to be sent there for a long time
Yeah, that's called BEING BORN.

>>129978552

That sounds hot.

Be willing to trade a bi relationship with any eastern Whity supremacist. Sounds like my type of guy.

Unless you have a chasm, in which case TRADE NUDES

Want my contact info?

>>129978385
Also, if you're going to be serving more than a year, getting involved with work programs and therapy shit is the best way to earn good conduct time.

Under federal law you can earn... I think something like 50-60 days a year that your sentence gets reduced by, so if you're looking at, say, a three year sentence, you can get something like 5-6 months off for good behavior (assuming you maintain good conduct until your release).

>>129969706
this
I was lucky I was white when I did my degeneracy and my parents could afford a real attorney not some public defender hack. it really does make a huge difference in the end. also since I'm guessing this is your first offense you might be able to get of really light. to be honest if youre white and have things going for you you might be able to get out of doing time at a penitentiary. also if you have a lawyer already ask. if you can write a letter to the victim. and show remorse, sad, sad remorse.
(showing remorse in front of the judge can go a long fuckiing way, as it shows you are different than the DINDU NUFFING YO OWNSERA they are used to dealing with.

>>129969345
Doubt you will get much hard time, unless the professor is well-connected and the community gets riled up. What happened to your friend, was he found and charged? Sounds like you haven't even been to trial. If you have any decent lawyer and no criminal record, you should get off with either probation or a light sentence.

A manager of mine once got busted in a white-collar crime. We looked her up in a prisoner-finder and she was doing her five years in a halfway house in Orange County (CA) near a marina. When she got out she bought a small inn. IOW it doesn't have to ruin your life if you have other resources.

>>129978942
Why would you want to reduce your sentence? I'm guessing its just a nonstop orgy with group showers. How did you find it?

>>129978954
>>129969706
>>129978954
Most of my professors in med school were M.D.s

Was he party to crippling an M.D.? >>129968467 You piece of shit

Think again

>>129971457
Man I was a CO for years in Texas, I don't know where all this respect the guards shit is coming from.

>>129979274
Are you still a CO, why and why not

OP is a LARPing faggot. This is a slide thread you fucking morons.

>>129969345
Pasta, third time I've seen this story

>>129979274
what unit

>>129976424
Don't let them think that you are.

>>129978446
>/pol/ user
>fucks guys
This checks out.

I feel like I'm taking fucking crazy pills this exact thread and the exact replies are all deja vu

>>129979551
And I still can't get anyone to tell me how to get laid prison.

>>129979471
Fuck no I couldn't handle it that place is fucking dehumanizing shit is so ass backwards in there.
>>129979602
Polunsky quite possible the worst one in Texas.

>>129979778
Thanks anon, im not responding to calls about my resume

>>129979778
Tell some stories, m8.

>>129968157
let me guess
child porn?
molesting a little girl?
its gonna be rough for you buddy

>>129969181
No, go to south america

>>129968157
Prepare your anus

>>129980090
This. According to /int/ the southern cone is white.

>>129968467
Hope you guys at least be entertained. Cause this is the most obvious bait ever.

>>129979887
I mean it depends man, Polunsky sucks cock but if you get some other farms its not that bad. TDCJ is a decent enough job if you have a thick skin and get out withen a few years.
You work like 1/4 of the year if you use all sick leave asap.
At least give it a shot to see what farm they send you to avoid Beaumont, Huntsville, Polunsky etc. Try the beeville area and it's cake from what I've heard

>>129969634
Yy

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>>129970912

>>129970695
a lone leaf shows his face! you cant hide firever faggots!! Your day will come ... Your day will come.., r-right... g.....guys? day of the rake!

>>129979778
ahh ok.

>>129979975
This one time I had to spray to fags for fucking on a sack of potatos, cause they didn't stop when I told them to. They were pissed at me for days cause everyone ate that shit up.

>>129980277
Thanks again, ill look into those since im not tied down anywhere

>>129980460
Spray?

>>129980468
No problem man. We're all just trying to survive. >>129980581
CS spray. Pepper spray the only shit they give the CO's

if your a pedo kys now or prepare for hell, i used to beat the shit out of them everyday because I wanted to be left alone by everybody and took all there shit, if people try to fuck with you beat there ass, if you want a weapon go find a metal gutter try to get a piece of metal sit down by some concrete and start sharpening the edges, if you want to be left alone find shit to do there is plenty of programs you can do, go out side when you can and just run around the compound and work out good way to be left alone, people will ask you what race you are pick one you dont have to be in gang gang or nothing but if shit goes down you gotta fight with your race it's just a fact if you bitch out you lose the chance of someone helping you out, just dont be a bitch read books learn more, i know this is all over the place but fuck prison sucks especially if you wanna be left alone so stay safe, its bad don't get me wrong it fucking sucks you will see shit and hear shit you wont ever want to again unless your a dumbass and go back in there, its an eye opener for sure i got my life together and it was a learning experience that's for sure, just keep to yourself and always scan the room dont ever let your guard down

>>129971491
hello midnight fellow

Bruh watch out for the dementors. they flyin aroun' all crazy n shit tryin to suck the soul out of you.
Watch out for dat dark magic 2, they dont play n shit n the ministry of magic will buss' heads like a muh' fucka
Get in good wit' serius black cuz he can turn into a dog n shit n let u pet him and feed him treats if u got cash bruh

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>>129969345
Someone probably already mentioned this, but if OP was real his lawyer would caution him very strongly against posting here or telling his story anywhere. Even a public defender would advise him against running his mouth on an imageboard. And of course he has a lawyer already, or he wouldn't be out of jail and awaiting trial.

>>129978385
>>129978942
Not saging because these are interesting.

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>>129981059

My dad was a jailer.
He told the prisons are like 85% black and hiapanic and they rape white guys.
They will tattoo breasts on guys back so it isnt as gay and will force them to wear make up.
If you Want my serious advice you need to run. Start a new life and get away.
Failing that you need to have a friend mess your face up so that when you go in you don't look pretty like the outside world.
You will be raped so my seriois, no fooling advice is to run.

>>129981311
>They will tattoo breasts on guys back so it isnt as gay

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>>129968157
Pic related

>>129969345
I was at a dope party with a friend, celebrating the end of our second year of engineering school and we got super high and decided to drive to mcdonald's. anyways, my friend was driving my car since I was too high to drive and we were just trying to sober up in a parking lot and in the distance we saw this one professor we both despise and I jokingly threatened to kill him once over twitter but I wasn't serious, so my friend said we should scare him a little and drive towards him and see how he reacts. anyways, my friend loses control and goes full speed into the professor and it cripples him. I pass out and my friend flees and by the time I wake up i'm in the hospital with my hands cuffed to the bed. i'm awaiting trial but I think I might be able to get off since I didn't really do anything

>>129978719
I'd love your contact info man
>tfwnobf

>>129981291
all this was a non violent 5 for larceny from a person,went to a medium in my state they can turn that into a felony, it was my first time down, did 3 years on a 5

>>129968157
First things first, get your flag tattooed somewhere on your body. You are going to need friends inside and the only ones you might have are gonna be the Brotherhood

>>129981415
Same mentality as fucking a trap desu.

>>129969345
You LARPing faggot, tell us the procedure for how you got bail. Anyway any lawyer worth his salt will get you off, just shut the fuck up about any conversation you had with your friend in the car

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>>129968157
Maryland native hear. Misdemeanors in Montgomery county are treated with maximum security lock up in clarksburg. 22 hour lock up 2 hours of rec time including showers meals and laundry. I can say from experience that being locked up for almost a year in almost complete isolation that once you reach that point where you get rec time.. you will see Mexicans make deals with nazis regarding peach wine production. Truly a peaceful environment where half the inmates are are drunk off peach wine 5 days a week.

>>129981794
Tattoos? Come on man. I think your dad was trying to keep you scared out of trouble.

>>129981669
I am >>129981311
And there is no AN in prison. The few there are run drugs but you can forget them going out for random whites. Whites are 10% of most prisons.

>>129981583

Got steam?

(Different ID since I had to switch to my laptop).

If you have Steam, add me at Lancaster631.

Message me on my throwaway email [email protected] if you don't have steam.

>>129981263
What happened to her other titty?

>>129981994
How do they keep their buttholes safe in there if they're such a tiny minority? Do they secure their anal chastity by selling the drugs?

>>129982157
Sent

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>>129981981
No man, it happens. There are 33 guards for every guard so there is no control.

>>129982309
Yup, they run drugs and pay low. AB has money and access esp with their ties.to.the Mongols and HA gangs.
It's an actual.hell. I have no.odea why people dont just run

>>129982157
Jesus what a bunch of faggots. Have you been jerking off to this prison thread the whole time?

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>>129968157
I think you should look for ethnic gangs. Scope em out for a while, then walk right up into their midst, discern their alpha leader, spit into his face, then turn your back on them and very slowly walk away without turning around.

This will get you respect senpai.

So you're in a bad mood right? It's an animal place, someone shit on your bed and pissed on your underwear, you've been beaten twice this week, and someone's told you they know where your girlfriend lives and they think you owe them money so they're gonna give her a visit.

You start crying. Then soon as you do, a bloke with no ears walks up to you.

>How tall are you?
6'2

>What do you weigh?
Bout 120 kilo.

>You could punch the cunt out of anyone in this place? The fuck are you crying for?

Oh these guys over there are saying I owe them money and they're gonna visit me girl

>Hold on.

So the earless bloke storm off, toward those guys.

>So I hear you're giving me mate a hard time. Well guess what, in about 20 minutes time I'm gonna have him armed up. He's gonna have a massive fucking tomahawk, and he's not gonna be hearing any more business about no money you owe him. By the way, Nigel. How is your mother at (mothers address), is she well? Is she well?

Oh no mate, no mate, we were just playing there's no money.

>Good, because if to u don't go over and offer my new mate a groveling apology then WHEN I have him armed up in 20 minutes time I'm gonna force him to open your face with the tomahawk I mentioned. So go now. Go.

Then they all waltz over and apologize to you, but you've just made friends with a sick man, and in 20 minutes you'll have an overcoat on at 37 in the shade and the prison guard will be patting you down, feel the axe in your coat and smile to himself and forget he felt anything.

Long story short, may as well kill yourself now.

>>129982373
Hurry up and reply.

>>129982515
I've fucked a girl I met at Anne Frank's house.

Don't question my methods.

>>129982309
they're allied with mexicans against the blacks

>>129968959
I only clicked in to see how many posts before the ass-rape jokes. More than I thought

>>129971491
Hot sauce takes away the taste of poverty.

>>129982734
I fucked my ex in the holocaust museum. Always date NatSoc, boys.

>>129982677
S-sorry I replied

>>129968157
you can ask for solitary confinement and you get a shorter sentence, you will probably go insane but that's your best possible option

Reminder that anyone using the new /pol/ flags is a fucking idiot. These new flags have ruined /pol/

>>129982770
its more than assrape bro, niggas tellin people theyll turn your brown eye blue

>>129983055
that gets you a bad jacket and trust me your never safe

>>129983134
shut up newfag, national flags turned us into /int/ and now we can finaly go back to extreme shitposting and larping as other countries, remove IDs so we can samefag again

>>129983249
I knew motherfuckers who would pop the ad seg doors to fuck with new COs

>>129979274
Well if you piss them off or they get bored,some guards are dicks or hate their jobs

>>129983421
Fuck off. These flags ruined /pol/

>>129983616
everything has always ruined /pol forever

>>129971491
t.nigger.
should have applied the BLM flag

>>129983712
But especially these flags. /pol/ just isn't fun anymore.

>>129983747
He isn't wrong though. He gave some of the most solid advice

Suck as many people's dicks as you can to earn their respect don't forget to cup the balls

>>129983885
here is some better advice, dont be a nigger and get sent to prison

>>129983422
shit if the COs didnt do it too, i went to a private prison, there crooked

>>129968157
Oh man, it sucks pretty bad. Some things are not as bad as they're made out to be in like movies and shit, other things are worse. Basically you're treated like livestock, but almost worse. No one is going to give a fuck about you. You have almost zero freedom, and you're told what to do almost every minute of the day. The food is very fattening, if you eat all the meals provided (I assume you're american, but I can't fucking tall cuz you're gay) it will be about 6k calories a day. So if you eat all 3 meals, and don't work out you will become fat as fuck. Guards are assholes, and perverts, so enjoy that. You're probably going to be cold all the time, since everything is concrete and steel and the shoes suck. The beds suck. Everything is pretty fucking lame. Oh and the inmates are the worst part. Sure, you may find some alright people to chill with, but for the most part they're all dumb as fuck subhumans. You will probably end up speaking like they speak after a few weeks. No one will help you with anything, or give you anything. And when you do get your hands on something, if you're not careful it will be taken from you. Lets see, what else... I can't think of anything else, if it's an American prison is basically the last place on earth you want to be, aside from maybe some 3rd world shithole prison, but who knows, I've never been to a 3rd world shithole prison, only American.

>>129982492
Run and go where? Anywhere in the states your name will out you and they'll come get you. Try to change your name and I'm sure the same thing happens. Try to make a living as an outlaw and you'll likely get nabbed again. Mexico will have a 50 ft concrete wall along the border by Dec. 2018. Canada only accepts dark people and Asians.

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HELP OUT IN THIS THREAD PLEASE, at least a bump if you can afford the time. we are bringing radical leftists to the attention of authorities and their employers
>>129981951 →
>>129981951 →
>>129981951 →


>>129984124 →

>>129984672
Get a new name, fake.identity. Mexicans do.it all the time
You need a bum social and such.but You can get a drivers license with it and once you have that it's easy.
You won't have credot.or.a great life but it beats prison.

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>>129981311
>They will tattoo breasts on guys back
you trolling brah i couldn't find any pics of this although i hope it happens to phaggot op

>>129984894
How do you just get an SSN? I don't know a cartel member who offers the service to white bois

>>129985134
He's full of shit, but a few of them do get some crazy ass tattoos I seen a dude who got the whites of his eyes turned black with a prison gun

>>129969345
>driving drunk
already reason enough to lock you away for good.

>>129968157
Whatever you do, dont show that you are weak. act as if you have everything under control and not scared to fight for your honor and whatever you do dont snitch. its better to get Beat up while defending yourself than get beat up apologising

>>129976957
Didn't they put the pug down?

Go and watch afterprisionshow on jewtube

>>129968157
>I'm going to prison and am scared
t. Eric Clanton

>>129969345
fake, kill yourself

>>129989522
it ain't the fear that gets you,it is the bored out of your fucking mind stir crazy that really messes up your mind.
you like many anons are used to instant internet and always having entertainment...say good bye to that and you will wish for mini happening like fights and riots after awhile.