/cpd/ - CHICAGO PD SCANNER THREAD - HOT TOWN, SUMMER IN THE CITY

Evening roberts!

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2 hours til RRH

chance of severe T-storms in chiraq, expect elevated domestic violence calls

>>129956438
>>129956438
Is number 9 MURDA!?!?!?!

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>>129955250
Don't mind me, just keeping this thread around

I'm back boys, I've missed you all.

>Weed
>Ambient version (35% volume)
>Lights off
>Full screen Chicago skyline pic
>Headphones
>Reclined desk chair
>Cat in lap

Who here max comfy?

What about Little Village and other Mexican hoods?

Are they as rough as nigger-populated areas?

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>>129955250
Thank GOD
I found the good thread.
The island in a sea of shit.
Check your keys gents.

>>129957239
I feel you. Whenever there is a massive chimp out I sit in my darkened room with green tea on one side and my cat on the other.

>>129955250
Someone give me a quick run-down of this sorta thread.

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>>129957239
>weedless for the past 4 days because dealer is fucking around

>>129957892
You listen to the chicago police department's scanner (radio that reports crime) and tally up the dead nogs/ shenanigans that go on in a big city

dead nog counter:http://heyjackass.com/

>>129958061
>>129958061
Every time I smoke weed I get overwhelmingly depressed. Is there something wrong with me?

>>129958769
Not at all. It affects some people that way. You may have some stuff you have to work out if you want to enjoy it, I find it amplifies whatever negative shit I have floating around in my head. Once my mood shifts, I can enjoy it again.

Edibles are a different story though. 10 mg THC is max comfy with no weird head-stuff, just a nice body relaxing effect. Can't wait for my neighboring state to go fully legal next year so I can enjoy small doses of edibles.

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bump

>>129958769
Probably not.

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>>129955250

Any Russian Roulette or suicide pacts tonight?

>>129959357
>>129959357
>>129959357
>>129959357
>>129959357
Where do you live? I feel the same about edibles that shit makes me pass the fuck out. Maybe I'm a lightweight or something.

>black dispatch overmodulating like crazy

BACK OFF THE MIC, BITCH

>>129959696
Connecticut. I live 20 minutes from the MA boarder but it'll take me 2 hrs round trip to get to any dispensaries since I'll have to avoid the CT highway no-fun police.

Any anons from NWI? I drove downtown this morning up Lake Shore Drive. Absolutely beautiful weather.

>>129959580
I should probably preface that I'm not a basket case either. I'm prob just like the one percent of people who have "bad trips" on weed.

>Large group of homeless under a bridge
>Drinking and bothering people

>>129959865
Jesus. If Connecticut werent full of rich people I couldn't imagine why you would live there. I live in sc but my dad's from darien. It's kind of weird to know that your father has downgraded financially since his twenties.

Chimpcagoan here, the city is burning

AMA

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>Shots Fired
>Race Unknown, but Male with darker skin

>>129960394
What neighborhood?

>Hispanic wearing jorts

ohiamlaffin.docx

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>>129960004
It's cool man, everybody got different brain compartments and departments that react to different things in different ways.

>>129959657
Did those idiot bitches live streaming Russian roulette last night ever find their final solution?

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>>129960529
Fucking supertanned male white strikes again

>"it's very intoxicated; black male"

>>129961360
Did they say "No Clothing"

Does anyone do live air traffic control with chill music?

Off work early, gonna get some malt liquor and fried chicken on the way home and listen to Robert do his thang.

>>129960697
TFW the Nazi and jihadist find common ground.

>>129961826
I just use this broadcast link with chill music it has

http://youarelistening.to/chicago

>>129962044
Oh thanks i didnt even notice that

>>129960340
It's a dreadful place. It's basically California with worse weather. But I moved here for work, so I just try to get comfy during the blizzards and enjoy apple-picking season.

>Shots fired near Harrison

Good evening, Roberts. Anything noteworthy happened so far?

>hears a metal cutting noise coming from the neighbor's garage
>u-haul parked in back

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Evening, Roberts.

Quiet night in Kansas. Thought we'd see the storms as well, but all north of us.

>large 50 foot tree down

>>129962942
the dastardly U-Haul truck strikes again!

I remember listening to this dispatch years ago, back in 2013, and there weren't nearly as many overdoses. In fact, I don't think I heard any over the dispatch at all in 2013-2014

>Victim's name is Dwayne Smith
and
>Four shots fired

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>Female requested police and left the line screaming
and
>Female Black stole from Male Black on bus
and
>Male Black keeps trying to break into an apartment

>>129963366

U-Haul could end the nigger looting epidemic by doing credit checks on everyone renting one in Chicago.

>30 year old son being aggressive

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Evening Roberts, I busted so much ass today but I'm ready for maximum /comfy/ and nig nogging. Don't disappoint me Chiraq

i don't understand why people call it chiraq, it should be chicongo

>>129964647
>it's this guy again

give it up already

>Customer and Deliver Driver getting ready to fight

good evening roberts

>>129965080
kek

> amberlamps needed.
That call into dispatch was promising.

>highly intoxicated

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>>129965080

I want what race they could be?

>noise disturbance. Ice cream truck.

>>129965573
Why, it's just some oppressed male black who dindu nuffin trying to get reparations from the pizza guy

>male black in 711 bothering customers
>dirty clothes, possibly intoxicated

>>129959865
Hello local anon

20 north of ct boarder

>>129959865
I'm in Worcester anon.

>5 shots at Crenshaw

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>FIVE
>FIVE SHOTS FIRED
>AH AH AH

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FIVE! FIVE SHOTS FIRED AH AH AH

>>129957239
>chill sounds
>dispatch
>sitting in my hammock on the porch
>ocean waves just up the block
>golden retriever laying under me
>whiskey

Thank FUCKING God I'm white

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>tfw just about to go shopping for some /comfy/ food before settling in

What should I get lads?

>>129966450
For you? Fried chicken and a watermelon to munch while you chug your 40oz

>removed from the house
>he is naked

>Man wearing only undies and a house slipper.
>yeeeeah this takes priority

>male
>only wearing undies and house slippers
>appears under the influence
maybe the nigger locked himself out of the house?

>>129966318

Western mass here.

I know, I know, we don't count.

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Color me surprised a Mexican with no Drivers License

>>129966844
how can people lock themselves out
like I know it's a nigger
but how

>>129966427
>sounds of guards
>concrete on 3 sides
>bars on 1
>laying on steel bed
>Pitt bull mauling youfs back in da hood
>thank god I'm a nigger

>>129966984
What goes on out there man? Had to go to Chicopee to take the Asvab at the Air force base, Just felt weird being in that area. I've been out to Springfield like once, and a couple times I've gone hiking innawoods out there, but I genuinely can't wrap my mind around western MA.

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What kind of weapon is this?

>>129965573
Shit like that can't happen today.
Rip in peace old hollywood

>>129967057
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/02/19/pre-med-student-arrested-after-police-say-gave-baby-daughter-bleach-to-relieve.html

>>129967199
ar pistol

>>129966995
Hod do you make these? I really, really fucking like them. I want to frame this picture.

>>129967199

Short barrel AR that has no "stock" so it's a pistol according to the law, so you don't need a tax stamp for it being a SBR.

>>129967199
an AR-15 action, in this configuration it would be legally classified as a pistol here in the USA

>>129967189
I am 20 mins North of Springfield. Lots of colleges and "dive" bars that are overpriced. I am in the last city before it goes to he'll to the north and gets really odd to the west.

Chicopee and Springfield are strange places

>>129966196
>>129966318
You people are fucking up the whole country.

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>>129967284
not him, but I like this one

>>129967541
Go fuck yourself faggot. New England is practically the whitest, safest, smartest place in the United States. Go be trailer trash somewhere else.

>>129967541

I did hate it

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>>129967284
Photoshop. Ain't the most difficult thing in the world.

>>129967648
>>129967541
Calm down, Roberts. /cpd/ is a comfy, no-bully zone

>>129967648
New England is fine. Not Massachusetts though.

>>129967648

I think he is referring to the sjw . It is rampant in my city.

>Shots fired
>Male Black throwing rocks at the window

>>129967500
Holyoke?

>female trying to close the door
>male saying to call the police

F

did I just hear "DOA"?

>>129967877

Ew. Fuck no. Maybe i drive extra fast. Northampton.

>>129967759
Thanks, Robert. Kinda lost my cool there.
>>129967648
We cool, Robert?

>>129967759
sorry bro...

>>129967725
I mean I understand it's photoshop, but is this a common template?

>>129966984
Wakefield here

>>129967990
We cool (internet gentle bro fist across America)

Key status: Checked

>>129968028

where is that? Heard of it but don't know where it is

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>Male Black
>Waving an AK-47 around

>>129968028
Hooked up with a chick from Melrose about a year or so back.
A Victoria R. She was a specimen.

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>construction workers making loud noise

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>>129955250

>construction workers making loud noises

>>129968005
No templates. Usually a variety of color-alteration options available. I'm guessing a lot of the OC creators like myself make a lot of Fashwave OC as well.

Chicagoan here. If I go call the cops then when they get here I punch one of them, will you guys here about it?
Considering

>>129968102
>reciprocates
/cpd/ What is happening with the dueling cars?

>>129968986
no ballz

>>129968986
You might have to be more creative, something for the sassy dispatch to listen too.

>>129969138
this, tell them their is a naked black man wearing clown shoes fighting with a homeless man
you think they may be drunk or high

Is that another customer and delivery driver getting ready to fight?

Dispatcher is sassy about that White Sox game

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>14 shots fired!

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>>129957239
Same . But wine instead of weed . Got work related physical soon. Not worried but laying off for a few days.

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Evening Roberts.

WATCH
YO
KEYS

>>129970487
what does this mean, something like make sure they aren't holding their radio key?

>>129970600
sort of, making sure they don't leave their radios on and clogging the channel

>>129967648

I'm sure it's great but your fellow citizens can't seem to get enough poz.

>>129970600
the keys get bumped or sometimes they just stick open and you get that hot mic

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Good evening, Roberts. It's been a while but I'm ready to get comfy tonight.

i just started listening to this, honestly some of the comfiest shit.

another question though - when they call out "15 robert.." "14 robert.." what does that refer to?

>>129971442
Robert is the night shift code for cpd

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>>129970002
Good evening sir. It's been a while.

>>129971809
yeah sorry to be clear i meant the number.

>>129971442

I believe it's different units. I've been falling asleep to this stuff for the last month and a half.

North side here, listening to ambient version.

It's kinda heartwarming to know /pol/ has an interest in this town.

>>129971442
Everyone is Robert so they are numbered with new numbers every night for anonymity. It keeps them from being targeted individually

>>129971442
>>129971899
Unit number

>>129971899
the cars and districts are numbered. a car reporting inside his own district use the 2 number prefix, a car reporting on squad or citywide will use a 4 number, 2 for his district, two for his car, Robert.

>>129972055
ah so they say "1225 robert" meaning 12 district and 25 car or vice versa

>>129971442
It's breaks down as follows. The last number is the car number. The one prior is the sector designation. And the one or two numbers before that is district. Let's use 1522R.
District 15
Sector 2
Unit 2
Robert unit.

>this thing is leaking gas something terrible

>>129956438
thanks for this pic, it's a life saver

>>129972180
BUT WHO THE FUCK IS ROBERT???

>>129972288
I've been there

>>129972142
See:
>>129972180
Kek.

>>129972340
ROBERT is the hero Chiraq needs but doesn't deserve; His nemesis is MALE BLACK, a notorious thief, murderer, and general rapscallion. By night they battle for the fate of the city.

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>>129971442
>>129971899

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Dude drinking and armed (gun in waistband)
*gets popcorn*

It's amazing that Chicago manages to function at all

>>129972386
>>129972180
thanks for explaining.

>>129973102
Well, by NIGHT it certainly doesn't

>>129973102
But it still has whites and Asians in it.

What's going on here today, fellow Roberts?

>>129973650

Gas leak, drug overdose.

>extremely critical condition

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>>129958769

I've found that it amplifies whatever you're feeling at the moment. The lows are really low, the highs are really high.

>Conclusion: booze is better to dull the pain, weed is better to open the mind

lol, "He want's the Poh-leece"

>>129974377
fuck that scared me. imagine living in chicago and getting that kind of phone call though.

Did I just hear some action?

>that one female scream

>>129975142
Sounded like routine monkey noises.

>high on cocaine and marijuana

>>129973805
Looks like they gotta lay off that crack cocaine

>pitbulls
>they're always loose

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>High on cocaine and marijuana.

Hell of a drug.

>>129975480
Somebody needs to stop mr worldwide...

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>>129964686
this is first time ive ever posted in one of these threads but ok

>clip

>doing crimes with a fanny pack on

>male white
/pol/ btfo

>>129976458

>not doing crimes with a fanny pack on
>in 2017

Where else are you going to keep the marijuana and cocaine?

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Checking my keys. What have I missed so far Roberts?

>very large moth flies in room
>comfy status ruined, i have my very own male black flying all around my computer screen
>remember lewd moths
>comfy levels hitting new extremes

who'da thunk it

>>129977099
Lots of loose dogs
Dude riding around on a bike with a fanny pack on
A few burglaries

>>129977099

>marijuana and cocaine
>male white
>male white
>robbery
>death phone calls

>>129977235
can you
uh
post an example pic

>Man said he will take someone with him if he dies

Ban assault pedometers!

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>>129977420

>Male Black
>5' 10" 220lb
>Yelling at people

>MALE BLACK makes an appearance

>>129977651
When will they learn?

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Hey guys our new boss wants to update the cars wondering if anyone has decent rendering and graphic skills and can make a decent submission is be happy to pass it along in the name of /pol/ and hope we got it. Could literally leave a footprint that would be pretty cool if we got a good one picked.

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>>129977420

>>129978041
way better than I expected desu
source?

I'll be watching this thread and hopefully one rending is worthy to bring to the boss. Rules are base color has to be white. Gotta use that color blue somehow. It will be put on a Ford Explorer. Gotta have the slogan somewhere. Numbers on front and back. And in case of emergency call 911 thing on the back.

>Male Hispanic
>Punched car window and broke it
>Cops on lunch grabbed him

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4 Shots fired

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Good morning Roberts

>R as in Robert

>13 year old male black
>habitual missing
>second time in 2 days

>>129977651
>pushy little bastard

I wonder if running away in Chicago is just as dangerous as living there

>sister's baby daddy pulled a gun on him

>people were drinking outside
>now shots have been fired

Shots fiyerd

>>129980328
What channel are you on? How the fuck am I missing this?

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WAS THAT MORIS CODE or whatever ????

>two female whites fighting in the street

>>129981216

You mean Morse code?

>>129981095
we got the delayed version ..

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>>129981558
yes.. I had 5 screens open so tried to reply with phone..

check your keys

Dang, I'm used to scanning the local suburbs, waiting to hear my little brother out there doing his thing.

This is some next shit, I do not envy the cops out working those streets.

>>129981982

What does that mean besides checking your car keys?

>>129982740
see
>>129970689
>>129970867

>>129981923
Didn't hear it, but it's usually some kind of station id. What it applies to, or who pay's attention, no idea.

>member of the mafia insane vice lords

>>129982740
it's when their radio button sticks

Why do they say good morning or enjoy your afternoon during real robert hours. Is it just tobe polite to those on a different circadian rhythm?

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>>129983127
I just heard it again.. I was making a joke.. nite Roberts

>history of mental illness
oh man

>boyfriend has a history of psych issues
>jumped off her balcony
>hurt his foot
>threatening suicide

>man with prior drug abuse
>proceeds to jump off girlfriend's balcony
>is now contemplating suicide

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>>129955250
Don't you gents find listening to this stuff night after night depressing? It doesn't take long to know what the answer is, eugenics, including mass euthanasia, and leave it there. At least that's the case with me. I wonder how many CPD cops have depression problems after being exposed to all this for so long, or if they're able to divorce themselves of it, and just view as a job through which to earn money.

>>129984163
damn, beat me to it

>>129984358
>Don't you gents find listening to this stuff night after night depressing?
Not really. For me, it's actually kind of fun listening to Male Black's shenanigans. And it reminds me that even where I live shit isn't that terrible

comf

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atELVQ9aVGw

>>129984358
it's perfect morning radio

Crickets instead of gunshots, that's not Chicago.

>>129986450
Its raining

does anyone in these threads actually live in chicago?

>MALE BLACK on the run
>ROBERTS on the pursuit

>>129958061
Sounds like me.

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Hello Roberts, anything really interesting happen tonight yet?

Oooo sassy dispatch. Sweet.

>>129987402
I do. Wicker Park.

>>129987402
Although I just moved here. Crazy to see police with assault weapons, even in Wicker Park. I moved here from California a month back.

>>129989100
Why did you move to Chicago, if you don't mind me asking, anon?

>>129989019
I also live in wicker park

>>129988527
Most interesting thing in awhile was this guy getting some sick burnouts in the alleys

Theres also some gun waving going around.

>>129989019
>>129989100
near the loop right? isn't it really fucking expensive downtown too?

I live in lake county myself, was just curious

>>129989168
If you live towards the lake or in the north burbs its very nice. The North Shore is one of the most affluent areas in the country.

>male black hit caller's aunt
>he has a gun

>>129987402
For most of my life, I lived in DuPage county, the Southwest suburbs. Thankfully it was peaceful where I was (And extremely affluent). But down the road we knew there were problem people.

>intoxicated boyfriend hit her in the eye and pulled a .22 on her

>>129967057
Depends on the lock. I had an apartment with a door where you could lock from inside then close the door plus a deadbolt. I once walked out without my keys, instinctively locking the door inside behind me, and found out I didn't bring my keys. I don't know why he would call CPD though.

Man these dispatchers are making mistakes left and right.

>2 month old not breathing

F

>>129991557
welp, right in the feels

>>129987402
Moving to Hyde Park in a month, so technically no but I will be giving street level updates (if not immediately, then if I can get my Illinois CCW).

>>129991673
CPD giveth and taketh

>female roommate getting on caller's nerves

>>129958061
Hi Robert