/CPD/ CHICAGO POLICE SCANNER THREAD : REAL ADAM HOURS

>>128062724
>male black punched her in the face on the back seat

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>>128063006
>son hit her in the head with basketball and made homophobic comments towards those youths

Top kek

>you little nigger faggots

> two females got out of a moving vehicle screaming for help

A two year old locked in a bathroom is task for the fire department? Day shift indeed!

>>128063787

I bet it's a nigs. They call emergency services for everything and anything. A locksmith never crossed their mind because why call one when da fireman can do it for free and or they don't know locksmiths exist.

We will never know.....

I guess it's not a bad use of resources. A kid locked in a room with water sources, sharp things, and medications is not ideal after all.

It's just pretty day shift.

>>128064611

I wonder how old the kid is?

>in before 17 year old baby boy Mike Brown

Glad to see you, Adams.

>>128065789

Just keeping guard against male blacks and kids locked in bathrooms.

Anyone has bingo cards? I'm going to have a long night.

Lot of kids being locked inside things tonight

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>>128066246
here ya go.

>3 shot earlier near Division & Hamlin

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another one

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>>128062724
These threads began around June 2016. One year anniversary soon.

>>128066603

When was it this year that no one was shot in Chicago in a 24 hour period.

>>128066603
>>128066731

Thank you.

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one more

Oh, an Assault!

>>128066878
lol, I can't remember

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>>128062724
Thanks for the Adam edition Robert.
>bunch of yelling and hollering in the background

Lol fucking Trannies

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>6-8 transgender males are in the store refusing to check their backpacks

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>>128067881

Was there anymore interference last night after 1am est? I remember it being funny as hell earlier in the night.

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>some shithead throwing up gang signs

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>>128069644

Just a future shots fired

>>128069550

There was some weird shit going. Sounded like aliens.

>>128069999
Quads never lie

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evening Roberts

>>128069999
checked and keked

>3 y/o daughter got her head stuck in the gates.

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Check out that '38 Lincoln parked in the lot at W. Division and Hamlin. I think it's a '38 model

>>128071723
that whole lot is full of classics

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Evening, gentlemen.

But soft! What niggardry through yonder window breaks? 'Tis Chicago, and Robert is the sun!

>30.000$ worth of music equipment is gone
Wew, lad. I wonder who can do such a vile thing.

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NBA playoff finals tonight, will there be more or less crime?

>>128071886
It is. Some of them look in pretty rough shape though

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R E A L A D A M H O U R S

>>128072198
>Is Chicago in the finals?
>If yes, then yes
>If no, then yes

>>128071612

She'll get along great with the niglet stuck in the bathroom.

>>128071906

There was a disturbance with 6-8 trannies earlier.

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>>128072374

but lebron james is the king of black people, they all just bandwagon the best team

>>128073154

I can imagine them chimping over bets on the game.

>>128073154
Doesn't matter. Black people are black people, but other black people do not give a fuck and kill those black people.

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>>128072678
That's frightening.

>head stuck in a grate
wait, what?

>spoke to animal control
>ETA 40 minutes

them sheboons hollering in the background
>shots fired and running in the alley

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>>128073777
>animal control

>>128073958
is... is that happening inside a dunkin donuts?

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>>128073958

This is the shit I fear running into when I go into the city and will have to mag dump my CC into the thing when it goes after someone in my family.

>>128074142
No idea. It freaks me out every time I watch it, though. And by "it", I mean that thing jumping around. That's just fucked up.

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>>128072198
send a full Harold's chicken truck to keep them happy while they watch the game

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Bumping. We're sliding down close to the bottom. Bumpity bump, fellas.

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>>128075613
kek

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Bumping for Robert

>>128075704

The sheer amount of garbage being spammed on /pol/ is astounding. This is close to /pol/ harbor levels of cancer, the only thing holding it back is the captcha.

>>128075860
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT

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G'evening Roberts...

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>>128075928
holy fuck you're right. It was quiet for the last hour and then the catalog turned into... this

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>>128075928
No lie. It's insane.

>>128075928
The /cpd/ threads are the only ones I visit on the trashcan of a board...everything is just stupid shit.

>Units, please watch your keeee~ys

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>carjacked

>>128076245
>>128076388

Seriously if someone makes a thread with some scantily clad non sequitur woman they should be permabanned from the board along with
>We'll /pol/?
>I thought X couldn't wor.....
>any and all race mixing threads

Give me 10 real /pol/lacks and I could have the board on lock down in a day.

>>128076648
*this trashcan
Made a typo...whoops.

>>128076648
Hi /mlpol/ (I honestly love the horsefuckers that visited these threads and decided to stay. We are all brothers united in comfy)

>So ur with ur dispatch and shes bein sassy wen the keys opens. U anser it n the vioce is “Man black laying on the ground, masturbating” U tell ur girl n she say “But it's Adam hours”. THEN WHO WAS ROBERT?

>threatening to shoot his baby mama in the face
>black male

>>128077314
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you Male Black? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Police Academy, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Bloods, Crips, Latin Kings, and I have over 300 confirmed arrests. I am trained in urban warfare and I’m the top detective in the entire Chicago Police Department. You are nothing to me but just another criminal. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this city, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, Male Black. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Roberts across the state of Illinois and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Chicago Police Department and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of Illinois, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, Male Black.

>>128077535

Please do it. Stem the tide of the dark hordes.

>jumper cables needed

>It's another carjacking episode night

what's with all the car jackings tonight? Did all the gangs get their monthly newsletter saying the first thursday of the month is carjacking night?

What's up Roberts? Hope everyone is as /comfy/ as I am. How goes Robert's hunt for Male Black?

Aww Shiiieeettt
>sounded like a rifle

>>128078889

Trannies, kid stuck in bathroom, kid stuck in gate/grate, obligatory gang signs being flashed, male black threatening to kill baby mama

>La Raza gang bangers 10-4 in black pickup truck

>>128080076
They have to go back.

Wew 10 gunshots!

>auto shots fired
Here we go.

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SHOTS FIRED!!! 187!!!

>10 shots fired
Real Robert Hours start in an hour, I got a good feeling tonight boys.

Awwww man... I just tuned in and from reading the comments it looks like I missed some good Male Black antics

I love when they describe the suspect... It's always just Male Black dressed like a nigger.... Does it even narrow it down lmao

>offender took the one year old child

>>128080883

We're looking for a nigger.....dressed like a nigger that is committing acts of niggerdom.

>>128080631
Where did you find that gif of Michael Brown?

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>>128080752
Worry not, man. The night is still young. We're not even into Real Robert Hours yet.

getting sassy

>in custody by the main entrance at Mt. Sinai

>>128082185

The hospitals are just tertiary chimp zones. It's amazing how they destroy everything they touch.

Good evening fellow Roberts, clocking in for some June 1st Comfiness - it is gibs day yes? Niqqas gonna be buying up all the PCP in town

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>>128082593
>it is gibs day yes?

I didn't even think of that. I think gibs day is the first monday of the month. They might coon extra hard since they are all completely broke.

>female driver hit tree

>>128082840
>earth is spinning
lol

>>128063401
F

>Being this sassy on air

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23 Shot in the Ass for the month of May

>>128083634

Are you actually keeping stats?

>>128083917
heyjackass

1005 Roberts listening to the scanner... We could start our own Chiraq militia to combat Male Black with those numbers! That would not be very /comfy/ tho

>>128083917
Read OP, Robert. heyjackass link

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>>128083917
No, just checking monthly totals on
http://heyjackass.com

>>128084461
kek, we're not here to help, we're here to listen and laugh.

Many mental cases tonight. But, again, it's Chicongo.

>>128084755
Truth

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Carjack extravaganza tonight

>>128071506
Evening CPD Count
Good to see you as always
Now get to counting!

>>128084461
The /cpd/ had 500 armed volunteer militia with powers to detain people, the niggerdom could be brought down to managable levels.

ROBERT BUMP

need a body snatcher...leaving it for Robert

Not the same ole' /pol anymore.

>>128085455
doesnt it cost thousands of dollars to get wheels that big? Pretty sure you could buy three or four Hondas for the cost of that POS

>>128085794
same ol' Male Black chimpin out tho

Is Saturday going to be insane? Its supposed to be in the 70s that night.

>>128085929
Prob so...and you call what is on 'em tires? lel

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T-Chicago

>>128086034
every weekend of the summer should be insane
even the Mondays are brutal

>>128085929
>>128086161
People unironically drive those things

>>128076086
i like it

>>128086449
I'd hate to hit a fucking pothole with it

>>128085929
I dont know about those specific rims, but donk wheels seem to go for around 1-2k each at 30" and about 4.8k each at 34" on the low/med end.
https://www.carid.com/custom-wheels/34-inch/

>>128086544
I'd hate to even try and take a corner in that thing with how the center of gravity must me.

lotta shots fired calls in zone 10 in the last few that citywide didn't broadcast...

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>>128085794
Honestly. While we're not sinking too far, we're still sliding, even though the thread is strong and healthy. Unreal.

>taser needed

>get a wagon over here cause he's breaking out the windows
Request a taser

>bring the Tasers!
Aww Shiiieett

>>128087149

They're not standard issue?

First time I've heard them call for a taser

>>128087273

You'd think, right?

>>128087273
probably not, because our country has decided to castrate the people that are trying to stop Male Black's niggerdom

Also,
>rollin with the taser hahahahahaha

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And Real Robert Hours descends upon the city.

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evening lads. 847 robert here. its been a couple weeks now of almost nightly. instead of reading i come on here to listen to my home city rot from the southwest corner up. that sounds ok

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>>128087569
That's one of my most favourite CPD graphics. God bless Robert.

>>128087429
>don't issue every cop a taser
>REEEE the fuck out anytime a dindu gets shot by a cop

>literal dumpster fire

>>128087970
>don't issue every cop a bulletproof vest
>REEEE the fuck out anytime a cop is less reluctant to use a gun when threatened

This, too.

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Real Robert Hours has begun Robert begins his watch.
>>128087894
Listening to Robert is better than tv because it is real and there is no way anyone will ever be able to put ads on this shit kek

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>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMLxgBxSiyU

I tried to show this masterpiece to one of my non-robert friends and he didn't get it. he's from northwest indiana and has been to plenty of sox games with me that lasted into real robert hours. fuck one game some crackhead even broke into my car to steal some burned cds(happened a while ago and never parked 4 blocks away from the stadium again)

i dunno, i don't think he has even liked me since i voted for trump

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>>128087970
To be honest, in Chicongo, where so many of the subjects are armed with guns, it probably make more sense to just issue guns, and save the tasers for the few times the subject might be controllable.

Evening Roberts, what have I missed?

Real Robert Hours are here
Keys have been checked
Good Morning Roberts!

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>>128088654

>Hippity-hoppity, Male Black sleeps on property

>>128088867

Cross of broken glass. There were niglets smashing bottles earlier.

>>128088867
So, the usual then.

>>128089087
OK. Heard that too, but wasn't sure if that counts (thought more about car/apartment glass broken)

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>body removal

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>>128088325
i love it, can't stay away. after moving i ditched tv and have replaced it with reality radio. one can only take so much kike propaganda and shitty commercials. robert hours are far superior

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Y'all really doing this while the Finals on, this why y'all get no type of pussy

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>>128087894
Pretty much nightly for me, too. This is my comfy zone at night before bed. For some reason, when I nestle in here with all the other listening Roberts, all the politics and chaos of the day is blocked out, and it is wonderful.

Sup roberts?

Any weird shills coming in here to post about today's developments or has it been comfy like usual?

>>128089405
>reality radio
I fucking love it. Just don't be one of the calls we hear about, but if you do make it funny

>>128089544
in general, conspicuous lack of shilling on this thread. its nice

>kids running and screaming (after shot fired)
cause that's normal to let your kids out in the streets at 10 pm
superior parenting

>>128089441

t. LeSean Dindu

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>>128089441
>implying you're going to be a pussy magnet while sprawled out in front of a television with a bunch of other brainless sports boys

G'night Roberts. I need some shut eye.

>>128090360
Boooooooy he wit Sharkiesha washin baxkabawl

>schizo off her meds
>about to stab her ex boyfriend

This is why you don't stick it in crazy.

>>128090436
Good night Robert, keep maximum /comfy/

>>128089441

How would me turning my TV on and putting on african round ball get me laid?

>>128090502
>Sharkiesha
>tfw it is an actual name

>>128090994
Better than Latrine at least.

>>128090994
obamaniqua

>battery in progress

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>>128090502
Sssssaw, yieah? Sharkiesha da bes', yaw, spesh'ly roun' Christmastime!

>>128091491
holy shit dude. what the actual fuck.

>>128091491
srsly, not a good look

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>>128091610
>>128091701
Niggers, man. You tell me.

not the street signs

>>128091910
kek, thats fucking gross

>>128091910
It all makes sense now

>4 or 5 rounds heard

>person shot

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>>128092199
>>128092259
They are nor like us, and we are not like them, and anyone who says we are is severely deluded.

Morning, Roberts. Not sure how long I'll be here tonight. I'm wiped the fuck out. Sending a bump for justice.

>shoot and run

>male his panic chasing people, being belligerent

>someone on the veteran's hotline threatening to kill himself

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>>128093164
lovely place, huron and wabash is

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Finally made it back. Cheers, lads. Seems we had some fun this evening.

>>128091491

>Be nig
>X-Mas time
>No presents under tree
>Because you haven't robbed your neighbors of their gifts yet
>Also there's a bitch bending it over and busting it open, I guess

DONT DO IT CLARENCE !

>Unruly people on the platform, giving K9 hard time

What the fuck do they do to poor dogs?

>>128093539
You don't even want to know, desu.

>homicide? yes ma'am10-4
first one tonight? i thought i heard calls for the wagon earlier

>ex gf pulled knife on DeSaun

>ex girlfriend pulled a knife on leshawn

BREAKING NEWS! SOMEBODY GOT SHOT IN AMERICA.

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>>128093305
>>Because you haven't robbed your neighbors of their gifts yet
Still chuckling. Nice job.

>>128093751
Fighting semi sentient niggers is a bit more difficult than emus.

>>128093305
You didn't get a Christmas striptease from your aunt where she show you up in her cervix when you wuz 7? Sheeiiit.

>>128093908
if hardened anglo criminals cant fight the emus then blacks sure as hell cant

the assdamage continues

>>128094142
You are now imagining the cross-pollination of Chicoonerish and emu cultures. Youare imagining Emus with the belligerence and territoriality of The Vice Lords or their contemporaries.

>>128093908
At least when you shoot a nigger in the face or chest it dies. The only way to kill an emu is to shoot it in the back of the head, or in the front of the head while its beak is open.

'Evening Robert. Reporting for duty. Did I just hear "homicide"??!

>he's no longer a gangbanger

Sure he isn't.

>>128094576
NOW HE BE A COMMUNITY ORGANIZER, TRYNA GIT MO MONEY FO DEM PROGRAMS TA HELP DA YOUFFS

>animal bite victim
>in the face

>bit in the face by the family dog
Any bets on the breed?

>>128094827
>>128094856
definitely a nigbull.

>>128094856
pitty breh

>>128094856
I'm not saying it was a pitbull but it was a pitbull.

>>128094856
Well, 1212 got redirected to arrest a hungry homeless guy just now, so she's still bleeding.

These Roberts trying to control this nightmarish place.

As entertaining as I find these threads I am filled with a certain dread. If it not for men crazy enough to grapple with an unfixable combination of a madhouse/abbtoir/city what would be left for ordinary people? Imagine if each one of these calls went unawswered. How long could anyone survive? What would it look like? What would my daughter have to do enjoy bare survival there?

I think I will throw a few Canadian pesos at the charity providing armour to the Roberts. Truly, they do a job that I could not.

(On a lighter note how many shots fired so far?)

>>128095010
Remember when all those liberal queers mocked the "thin blue line" as a racist good old boy's club? Yeah. So di I. Fucking queers.

>>128095010
kinda killed my buzz from laughing at the pitbull responses (nice job fellas), jk dude but you make a good point. the only thing between something resembling modern neighborhoods, and some sort of black wild west, are roberts answering these calls

>>128095010
Many.

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>>128094337
i was imagining if someone hypothetically airdropped around 10,000 emus and cassowaries into the Chicago ghetto unexpectedly around 1am on July 4th weekend and just let the blacks try to reason with them, to their dismay
>emu carcasses found with nailgun nails in them
>disemboweled male black carcasses found by the thousands
>flogged to death male His Panic bodies found all over home depot parking lot
>installation of emu-led gang territory that stays unconquered for decades, eventually outlives the niggers and everyone else after WW3

>girl bit in the face by the family dog

>>128094971
The way they prioritize some calls cracks me up.

>>128095399
>Before you hit the bite victim...
Yeah.

>carjackings involving a red subaru
>male black

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>>128094142
Does this mean we should release hordes of emus into Africa? Because that would be interesting. I think we should add scads of based cassowaries, though, too, to whittle the population down a bit. Because fucking cassowaries, man: http://mentalfloss.com/article/80394/10-facts-about-cassowaries

Apparently cassowaries are running out of habitat, and I feel that the African continent would suit them just fine.

>>128095547
>subaru
victim probably male white or asain

>>128095381
Bro, Jamal would take one look at an EMU and reach simultaneously for his Hi Point and breading flour. Chicago would be an open pit of human corpses and giant buckets of deep fried emu. It would be like the whole city transformed into a macro-scaled churche's chicken from any given 'hood.

>>128095601
>Does this mean we should release hordes of emus into Africa?

it would be extremely painful

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>>128095665
not until the emus start breeding with all their women and dilute their bloodline to the point of genocide
peace was never an option

>unknown group of females refusing to leave the Dunkin Donuts

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>>128095665

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Lmao, suicide by cop alert: Unknown Females have laid siege to a Dunkin Donuts location.

>Dunkin Donuts, unknown group of females, not buying anything and refusing to leave

>>128096053
im putting my chips on female black

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>>128095381
>cassowaries
>hive mind

>people in the gangway
>what sounds like a recording of people having sex

>they can also hear what sounds like a recording of people having sex

advanced nig warfare

>>128096160
>not buying anything and refusing to leave
Concur.

>Recording of people having sex
Hey, the guy who lugged his comuter into the alley to watch porn is back!

>his panic
>face tattoo
>looking for something

wonder what that thing is

>criminal sexual assault in progress
>4 male beaners raping a female beaner

Hispanic gang rape!!!!!!

>criminal sexual assault in progress, female Hispanic intoxicated, raped by 4 male Hispanics

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>Gangrape in progress

>4 on one spic gang rape.

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>his panic gang rape
she's probably 15

>>128096763
>she's probably 15

DAD! YOURE CRUSHING MY SMOKES!

>>128095712
For you

>>128096444
female his panics to rape

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>>128097003
Ahh, that is an old joke, but still very funny.

>>128096763
>15
AH AH AH

>semi driver needs help turning around
He's a camel fucker for sure.

>>128097307
Quality stands the test of time Robert.

>car crashed in the the alley
>need more unites

Is it a foot chase?

>>128097003
haha shit, i lol'd

>another runner in the night
>get him Robert

>>128097003
From google translate:
>¡Papá, estás aplastando mis cigarrillos!

>male white with Obama mask
FUCKING WHAT

>male white with obama mask stole some money from an atm

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Super comfy Roberts

Thanks, Obama.

>male white in obama mask stealing money
thats new

>male white in an obama mask stole money from the ATM

U wot m8?

Thanks Obama.

>White male, wearing Obama mask, stole money from Chase bank ATM

Did I hear that right, Robert?

>>128097987
Yes. Yes you fucking did

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>male white with obama mask robbed an ATM
Hhhaaahaha Holy fuck I hope he ends up a repeat character, I want to add him to the family photo.

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fucking kek

Was that an arms deal or did some nogs shoot at someone? Didn't hear quite right

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"Hit and run" was all I needed.

>open up the air
is that like keep talking or what?

>>128097923
kek Robert!
>BABIES MAMMA

>>128098298
Dispatch was checking all Roberts, it seems.

>>128098101
thats a great idea. hes practically one of the guys

>female having a seizure in a night club

>15 year old female having a seizure at a nightclub

>>128098444
>>128098555
Nice trips Roberts

>lacerations on a 16 year old pregnant victim
>not a domestic

>pregnant 16 y/o with lacerations, need pictures
>we dont take pictures of lacerations

>wont take photos of lacerations on a 16 year old pregnant (assumed rape) victim
Holy shit how bad it it out there?

>attempted carjacking

>2 males jumped into the back seat

absolute madmen

>>128099142
>>we dont take pictures of lacerations

What did dispatch mean by this? Isn't this important crime scene evidence?

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>>128099172
it seems like a 24/7 shit show doesn't it

L O U D M U S I C

>>128099400
he wuz a good boi. he dindu nuffin. he on his way to church n sheeit. whitey keepin him down with lacerations n sheeit

>>128099417
I can't believe I ever wasn't a racist

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>>128098451
Fuck it, he's in!

>>128099677
checked, nice job, lovin the diversity. nogs, jews, whitey, mutants and puppets

>>128099677
It's a natural fit. good call Robert

>>128100014
It takes all kinds to make a utopia!

>3 shots fired at 714 and christiana

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>THREE
>THREE SHOTS FIRED
>AH AH AH

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>>128074538
want to really have a panic attack? Don't watch this leaf

How bad must it suck to work a gas station in Chicago? Jfc

>truck full of male blacks robbing gas stations

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>>128100567
that just gave me anxiety a little bit. that was a legit swarm of rapefugee dindus looting like its second nature. that is the vast majority of what enrichment is all about

>>128101046
10 male blacks jumping out of the truck

>>128101046
Fug

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I'm out, Stay safe Roberts.

>>128101026
well as long as you don't come out of the glass box, you are safe, but the Nogs can still grab and run

>20 shots fired.

>20 shots fired, split 10 and 10 on 2 streets

>>128101226
this. working in a bulletproof closet must to be very not comfy

>7-8 shots
>10 shots
>12 shots
>20 shots

>>128101412
lol, that looks like some kind of chart

>6 shots heard, female screaming at st louis and palmer

>six shot heard
>female heard yelling "I'M INJURED!"
I'VE FALLEN AND CAN'T GET UP!

>the caller is the on making the threats

>peeping Tom
>male black
PEEP! PEEP! PEEP!

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>peeping tom

>we got a peepin Tom
>male black on the back deck peepin into windows

>another carjacking

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REALISTICALLY SPEAKING

How much longer will chicago last before the nogery hits peak chicken & they invade the north side of the city?

>dark complected
haha, she made that work

>>128101657
F

>multiple carjackings

>>128102271
alot of them have never even been to the north side i'd bet

>tiffany got robbed at gunpoint
>the red subaru bandits continue their crime spree

>>128102271
They'd have to be able to afford it.

And they can't.

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>>128100567
Yeah, I've seen that one. Italy (I think) enjoying the diversity.

>flash
this is?

>>128102463
which is kinda weird cause you dont think of Subarus as nigger cars
they dont care about 4wd n shiet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nk_fbNPHxlU

>I spoke too soon it says sticks are involved

Somebody baking?

>>128103028
heard that the other day, a few times even. didn't know that was a thing

THE CALL IS COMING FROM


INSIDE

THE HOUSE

RUN ROBERT RUN!!!

>>128103135
it's all you RObert

Fresh hot bread
>>128103800
>>128103800
>>128103800